Session 126: Bowen Yang

29:22Okay, guys, get those virtual shopping carts ready because Prime Day is coming June 23rd through 26th. Prime Day is the perfect time to get that thing you've been putting off on getting. For me, that's a new tablet. I am the biggest binge watcher in the entire world, and I also travel a lot. so I need a tablet to watch my binge watching on planes because I can't download TV episodes on my computer. You can only do it on like a tablet, at least for me. I haven't figured it out the other way and it's just easier to carry around. So for this Prime Day, I will be getting myself a new tablet. It's gonna upgrade every part of my travel routine and it is one of those purchases that just feels like it makes every part of my life easier.

30:00The time is now so everyone add to cart because these deals were worth the wait. Shop Prime Day, June 23rd through 26th. Thank you Venmo for sponsoring tonight's episode. It's summer and summer means that you are leaving the house more, whether it be for a wedding, whether it be for a music festival, whether it be for a show, whether it just be for any group activity, you are most likely leaving the house, which means expenses will tally up and you will be paid back or will have to pay a friend back via Venmo. My favorite way to use my Venmo balance is through the Venmo debit card because for me, it is the easiest way to spend that balance.

30:41I'm also big on tap to pay and Venmo at checkout. It is the easiest way to pay. Like it is summer and chances are you will be going to an event which requires someone to put their card down for something and you will have to pay them back most likely via Venmo. Also, it is officially wedding season whether you like it or not. You're getting gifts, you're getting rides, you're getting dresses, suits, whatever you wear to a wedding. The easiest way to use your Venmo balance, if you have any, is on the Venmo debit card because it doesn't require the extra step of transferring it. The money is already there.

31:12You can also add your Venmo debit card to your digital wallet, which for me is very useful because I love to tap to pay. I hate bringing my wallet places. I love just to bring my phone. So tapping to pay at a restaurant or at a clothing store or at a bar is just makes my life a little more colorful. Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA. Venmo Stash Bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max$100 cash back per month. See terms at venmo.me slash stash terms. Venmo checkout not available at all merchants. Thank you again Venmo for sponsoring tonight's episode. Wait, you should be a gamer again.

31:48I know. Well, I just got a Nintendo Switch. Two? too. And I, I took, you know who is the biggest Nintendo switch legend of Zelda fan? You, you, you actually won't believe it. I wait, I think I know this. A Zelda fan. Yeah. Rihanna. Who? Kylie Jenner. Are you kidding me? No, swear to God, swear to God. And she put me onto it. We have a, we have a thing in common now. Yes. Okay. But I tried to play the legend of Zelda. Which one? Breath of the Wild? Breath of the Wild. Interesting. It is very, I'm a Pokemon guy. Of course. Like, I like the structure of Pokemon games. Yeah. You have the gyms and then you have the Elite Eight and then you've like kind of free play until you catch all the rare Pokemon.

32:35Like, that's like my vibe. I love that. And. So you're a JRPG person. Japanese role-playing game. Oh, yes. Okay, great. Oh, yes. Zelda, I was very, it was very difficult for me to like get past like even the, I was like, what's my goal here? that's the beauty of the game. It's the most perfected open world game made. I can't do it. I have to have. I understand. I understand. You want structure. I think I'm going to actually get, if there is a new Pokemon game on the Nintendo Switch 2, I am going to get it and I'm going to play it. It's called Wind and Waves. Is it good? It hasn't come out yet.

33:12I just got really excited. It'll come out around Christmas, but I feel like there's Sword and Shield and there was, I've got X and Y. Is it good? Not X and Y, sorry. They're fine. I think you should play Pokemon Legends ZA. Is that on Nintendo Switch? That's on Nintendo Switch and Switch 2. It takes place in Lumio City, which is Paris, basically. Very French, very, very, very your vibe right now. And it's real time. So it's an action game, but you basically still do the moves, but there's just cooldowns. You don't take turns. It's more like action-based and it's faster. Oh my God, I'm so sad you're not coming to the culture awards.

33:49Well, I mean, Louise doesn't have to. Coming after? Okay, great. Louise? Louise? Pre-culture awards. You can go to the culture awards without me. Are you kidding me, Louise? You're coming. Wait, go, Louise. Go. I really can't express to you enough. You need to come. Jake and I, I know I've told you this so many times, the whole time we're grabbing each other's hands, like rocking back and forth. Like, this is the best night of my life. Kristen Wiig doing the, what did she do again? She played Robin, not Robin from Batman around, but Robin with a Y, the woman who was the brother's assistant. That, whatever, when Meg Stalter made everyone look for her phone, which, by the way, did not make the final cut.

34:33I know, we had to cut it. It was, you had to be there. I think Meg Stalter is the funniest person. The funniest person alive. Alive. I think she is the funniest person alive. No one does it like her. I went to her DJ set last night. Oh my God, her album? it's amazing it's actually unbelievable no one feels bad for me and she sat there at the DJ stand brushing her hair the entire time and then she lost her phone and took 10 minutes out of the DJ set to just scream at everybody to look for her phone and then a slow song came on and everyone was dancing behind her on the DJ booth and she made them sit down why?

35:12because she had to find her phone still? no she just said sit down and they sat down and then did you see the video of her going to the kids and then she goes that was rude the kid didn't sing yes yes I saw that I watch her Colbert her late show interview constantly my thing with Meg Stalter is I don't I actually don't because people are some people are like I don't get it how can you not no it's so apparent how can you not get it it is the funniest thing on the planet I think it's people who like get uncomfortable But that's the point. But they can't laugh about the discomfort. They can't laugh through it.

35:49They only, they stop at discomfort. They're like, this is bad. I don't like this. No, but it's, I literally, like, I think, like, I do not understand. I, like, can't, like, no one can explain to me. If anyone ever said to me, I don't get it. I would literally, like, be like, what about this? Yes. Do you not understand? Like, it is, she is just hysterical. Yes, yes. it's like a fundamental like it's a cultural it's a fundamentally cultural I don't even know what I'm saying I don't even know what I'm saying she is just going to hit a nerve with people and it's the same nerve that makes you go ha ha ha or the same nerve that makes you go I don't get it I don't like this I don't want to be around those people we don't have to explain this too much to are people because there are people.

36:43Yeah. I feel like you're running into more people who like don't have the same sensibility as you. Right. I think now that I'm like in my mid thirties, I'm like, I don't really. Right. I can't really. I don't, I've, my circle has gotten smaller, which is just a factor of age, no matter what, no matter who you are, I think. And I think I'm like, oh, I'm like, I don't have to like spend too much energy, like bringing someone up to speed. Does that make sense? That makes sense. That makes sense. I just, I just made this so boring. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. What are you listening to right now?

37:15Holly, Holly Humberstone? Oh, and I've been a Holly fan down since COVID. Yes. I love her. I just got. Have you ever heard the song Scarlet by her? No. It's unbelievable. It's one of the, it's one of the, her older ones. It's one of her older ones? Yeah, it's amazing. Um, I'm listening to OPN. OPN. He's the guy who scores, like, the Safdie Brothers movies, but he does a lot of, like, noise stuff. Okay. I missed his show, but, like, I've been, like, into this kind of, like, I don't know, like, tense atmospheric stuff. It's so gross that I am talking about it in this way. No. But then, wait, and then there's one more.

37:59Hold on. The Naomi Scott album is really good. But remember her song from Smile 2? Blood on White Satin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. First of all, Smile 2. Fantastic. Yeah, I've only seen the first. Okay, I have to see. You haven't seen the first? I've seen the first. I haven't seen the second. What are you doing differently at this year's culture? Are you filming at the same place? Is it bigger? It's a smaller place, actually, but I think that's okay. And we're doing, we're trying not to repeat too much of last. Like, our paths in the wood were, you can basically beat for beat do the same show as last year and it'll be totally fine.

38:35Like, you can do another In Memoriam parody. You can do another, like, whatever. You can do another, like, this, that, and the other. But I think the riskier move, and actually, but I think the more fun, thrilling move is just to, like, kind of start from scratch. Like, I think, like, I'm already kind of gagged at, like, the people we've got lined up. And it's not even just people. You're, like, ruining Louise's day right now. By the way, Louise, like, there's no one in this world Louise loves more than Addison Rae. My favorite set of Coachella by far. I didn't see it. It was incredible. And then literally, and I was, I thought I was like being like a fan.

39:13The person next to me, stranger, taps me on the shoulder at the end. He goes, that was so fun watching you watch her. And I was like, oh, then yeah, that's confirmation. I felt that way about watching you and Bowen watch Cardi B in Cannes last summer. What's Cardi B? Cardi B. When did that happen? Oh, yeah. you and Matt were having the time of your life. Cause she came on after, oh, she was at Spotify. Yeah. Oh my God. I, I'm still traumatized from the can. Wait, why? That was so much drinking and partying and having to sit on a panel, quote unquote. Well, no, they were panels, but like having to sit on panels and then having to like stay up until like three in the morning because like, you kind of felt like you had to based on like what was going on there.

40:00Like it was just, it was just chaotic. and it was like people trying to get at parties and it was just like, I think the South of France, Saint-Tropez, I don't know about, but I feel like Cannes and like Nice are like, it's just Miami. It's like, it's like just, it's that kind of like. So I feel as though I am an expert in the South of France. Tell me. Because I've never been to Paris. I've only been to the South of France. It's not in even like a bougie way. It's just like I've been there for work or then I went there for a wedding. I will say it's not even that bougie. It's very like, it feels, I don't know how to describe, it's not like there's one nightclub.

40:37Yep. Bayoli. Bayoli. And you either have the best night of your life there or nobody is there. That is like one time Louise and I went there, it was a carnival. They were like, it was the - It was like an actual carnival though. Wow. There was a Ferris wheel. It was like the best, I think that was the best night of my life. I still need cigarettes inside. Like whatever. Like just having the best time of my life. Oh God. That's what, that's what the culture awards were missing. We needed like drugs in the carnival. This reminds me, are you watching Rhode Island? Yes. Alicia? Alicia. She, what, what are these like bagel bites that she had?

41:15Or the pizza bites that's literally just bread? Pizza chips. I did not, I didn't know about, I hear pizza chips and I'm like, okay, so it's like a little potato chip with like seasoning. She's like, it's just bread. It's just bread with tomato sauce. I do not fuck with the one, and I'm sorry. Rula? Rosie? No, Rula. Ashley. Okay, here's the thing about Rula. She brings discourse. People don't like. No, no, she's a great character. Yeah, she's a great character. I don't fuck with. Is it Ashley the one who was on The Bachelor? I'm sorry. And I think, but I think she and her husband moved there for the show, if I'm not mistaken.

41:54Okay. let's fight like let's fight please oh my god I struggle with reality television in general like the only reality TV I can do is Housewives it's the only TV I can do I'm kind of the same it's like what's that about I'm used to old reality television like I watched Bad Girls Club were you ever a Bad Girls Club fan I never wasn't I'm trying to someone's trying to put me on it but what's the new show Baddies Baddies It goes deep Wow And it's like crazy Like I'm I know everything about baddies Everything Everything Everything Everything But so basically The best season of baddies There's two Baddies South Which was season two And um Baddies Baddies I think it was baddies West Okay And that's when Stunna Girl was on Uh huh Who's Stunna Girl?

42:50Stunna Girl Baddies South was so good because there was a real narrative and like they were really trying to they like really traveled the South and you know and there was a real narrative going on there and now it's every episode is Natalie calls a house meeting before everyone goes out and goes and it's just like you have to fight whereas on Bad Girls Club if you hit somebody you got kicked out of the house so it was like this tension brewing and brewing and brewing and brewing and brewing. And then there would be this one massive fight. Like in Bad Girls Club, New Orleans, Judy and Priscilla, Priscilla beat Judy bloody.

43:34Like, and, and cause well, well, Judy goes, Priscilla, I made you breakfast in bed and dump cereal all over Priscilla's bed. And Priscilla just like beats the fucking living shit out of Judy. and like this is original Bad Girls Club yeah no nothing touches original Bad Girls Club then and oh my god Bad Girls Club Miami uh huh oh my god Bad Girls Club Cabo Cabo I've seen every single season of Bad Girls Club so it's just Housewives and Bad Girls Club for you and America's Exxon model but there hasn't been any cycle of that so that's what I'm saying I only do old oh got it got it and you're and you will be watching whatever the new Tyra creation is So Matt and I recapped the most recent cycle, which was like 2018.

44:25And I was just like, what's this all for? And it was also like my first, it was one of the first times Law Roach was on TV. And like I went through the cycle with Law Roach where I was like, I'm not sure what this man is about. And now I'm obsessed with him. Oh, yeah. What did he say recently that I just died for? Oh, bring back gatekeeping. Totally. He was like, not everyone's meant to have what you have. I literally was like, oh. I think gatekeeping has always remained. I, yeah. I think for whatever reason, people are still gatekeeping. And sure, why not? Right. I have no take on this beyond.

45:02Yeah. It's not gone. The reason I loved OG America's Next Top Model is because I was a child. Yes. And I genuinely believed that when these women won the show, they would go on to become a top model. Totally. But you know what? I think American Idol implanted this in my brain where I was like, whoever wins this is going to be. Kelly Clarkson. The biggest. Carrie Underwood. Exactly. This never happened. Who else was? Ruben Stoddard. Fantasia Barrino. No, but then. Taylor Hicks. Clay Aiken. Adam Lambert. No, but there was someone else too. I think we said David Archuleta. day Jennifer Hudson Jennifer Hudson that's who I'm thinking of she made a I mean yeah she's Jennifer Hudson she got an Oscar a few years later yeah like American Idol I would say is the only show to successfully create stars create stars well I think besides the X Factor One Direction Fifth Army of course of course but for yeah for shows like that for X Factor and American Idol to run parallel to top model kind of like, it seemed to be this like global belief that like whoever wins these shows will go on to great success.

46:22You know who actually was on America's Next Top Model and left and is like now one of the top models? Winnie Harlow. Winnie Harlow. As you guys know, Demo and I have been working together this season on Therapist. And so tonight or today, whenever you guys are watching this, we are going to be bringing you some more financial leaning tell me what's wrongs given that venmo is a financial app i love the demo debit card so my advice will probably be leaning a lot towards using that because i think it is like for me the easiest way to spend my demo balance my friend is having a really small intimate wedding just family and a few close close friends our friend group is nine people and only three are invited to the wedding i didn't think much of this until all nine of us got invited to her bachelorette trip and it's going to cost at least$1 ,500.

47:09Am I being crazy for thinking that's kind of selfish? Like we're apparently close enough to drop a ton of money on her bachelorette but not close enough to be there for her actual wedding. Help. If you maybe flip it like maybe she can't afford to have both a big wedding and a big bachelorette but like obviously if you can't spend the money then you just have to tell her I can't spend this money and if she's a real friend she'll understand. It's also unfair that only three people are invited. I think that's where it gets tricky for me. I would just like analyze the situation like is this because of a money reason?

47:41Like can she not afford both? Or is this just out of pure like this is what she wants? Because if that's the case then you can also be like well then I'm not spending this if I'm not invited to the actual event. But then at that point do you actually want to even be invited anymore? I pay for everything for me and my boyfriend and I make way more than him so it's kind of fair. But at the same time it would be nice if he chipped in once in a while. Do I just start cold Venmo requesting him for stuff or does this need to be a serious discussion? I've actually thought about this a lot. I think the cold Venmo request will catch him off guard.

48:08Maybe be like, hey, can you, do you mind if I, can I Venmo request you for this? You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to Venmo request you for this meal. Base your decisions on his reactions thereafter. I can't cook for the life of me, so I eat out almost every meal and it's costing me. Do you have any suggestions for how to motivate myself to cook or even like hacks for cheap meals anywhere? I cannot keep up with this habit. If you really hate cooking that much, collab with your friends. Go to each other's houses. Make meals together. It's like make it an activity to do with other people so that it's not just you and it doesn't feel like a chore.

48:38And it's way more expensive to cook for one than it is to cook for a group of people. But if you still do not want to cook, you can use Venmo Stash Rewards to earn cash back on places you're already spending money. And when you use your Venmo balance at these places, like you will earn cash back. So you can pick like a bundle of your favorite brands and earn cash back on that. Also, I feel like the solace of spending with a Venmo balance is like you know exactly how much you have and it's coming out of that one account of yours, the Venmo account. It's not coming out of like your savings or something is like a good way to think about it.

49:12The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. Venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max$100 cash back per month. See terms at venmo.me slash stash terms. Venmo checkout not available at all merchants. Thank you again Memo for sponsoring tonight's episode and the special edition of Tell Me What's Wrongs. Bowen, what are you therapist about today? What I'm therapist about today is honestly this is gonna sound so boring but it's my back pain. I knew you were gonna say your back pain. But it's just, and I was gonna come in here and be like this is what you have to look forward to.

49:44But the fact that you're experiencing it at 26. Well are you on Muscle Knot TikTok?

49:53it's i just like licked my lips it is like the best thing on planet earth you they they have these gloves on and they like it it's a back obviously uh-huh and they put their finger on and you see the knot no it no no no no no no okay and they go and it just and like scientifically actually they're not getting the knot out like what's really happening is they're pushing the muscle to the end and it snaps back in place but if you just tell yourself it's like when you get an air bubble out of a screen protector yeah that's what it looks like it's awesome also dry needling dry needling for sure and then muscle twitches I'm a therapist about my back pain what can we talk about?

50:41how much I love you oh my god oh and we can talk about the tell me what's wrongs I will never forget the tell me what's wrongs from Radio City Whoa, what were they? Which is like, Oh, like I fuck my cousin, what do I do? No, no, no, no. One of them was, my roommate fucked my day, and then... Oh, and she said, T. Yeah. And how could you be mad, T? That's insane. It's everything. It's camp. I'm doing a program in Copenhagen this summer, and I have a weekend break where I can travel. One of my best friends is really close with my ex-boyfriend, who is Norwegian. We have been broken up for two years.

51:17They FaceTimed each other when I was in the room, and on a whim, I told my ex I would be in Norway for a weekend. So a lot of exposition. A lot of exposition. They haven't planned this trip. I don't know. I think this is how. No, I am doing this present. Oh, she is. He told me I should come and stay with him. It's taken me a long time to get over him. I haven't dated anyone since, and both of us are single. Do I go to Norway? Oh, my God. I would. I would. If it's just for the weekend, sure. It's already time-bound. It's low stakes Listen to Tiss of the Damn Season By Taylor Swift And just fucking do it Oh my god But that's about a hometown But it's about like Seeing an ex Sure And getting back together With them just for the weekend You can call me babe For the weekend Talk about the best song ever By the way Talk about Talk about Talk about the Aeros tour Oh my god I saw a TikTok the other day Of like Being Like Oh my god I prescribed Tiss the Damn Season My boss absolutely reeks Like he seriously smells Like bad sushi Quit.

52:17Okay. His office is right next to mine, so I'm forced to put up with his stench all day and it makes me want to vomit. I pull my shirt up over my nose to avoid it most of the time. Other people have walked past and said, oh my God, what is that awful smell? And nobody realizes it is him, including him. I don't want to tell him because fired. What do I do? HR. That is exactly what HR is meant to help with. Yeah. You have to. Oh my God. I can't deal with smells. If I assign a smell to a person, you're done. You're dead. You're done. You're done. You're done. You're done. I can't do it. Oh my God.

52:54I can't. I can't. Is it, God, is it the kind of office where you can burn a candle, like a five wick candle? This person has an office next to the boss. Oh my God, it makes me feel sick if I had to smell that every day. I hate smells. I hate smells. I'm like a pregnant woman. I hate smells. You hate smells. And even like perfumes and colognes are too strong? No, but I hate the smell of Sephora. Got it. Sephora, you walk in and it's just like, that's like the smell of Sephora to me. It's just like a cough of perfume. Of course. Like Louise and I went to Sephora today to kill time. And I was so upset about it.

53:30Louise walked in and said, do you need anything? And I said, no. And I said, do you? And she said, no. And we walked out and then sat. You know, Louise. Okay. you know the thing about Louise is Louise can read anywhere. Oh, I'm so jealous. Like Louise could sit right now and start reading as we're talking and continue reading. What are you reading right now? Why don't you pick up the mic? I just started The Lover. Okay. And I just finished last night Madonna in a Fur Coat. Okay, great. These are books that I feel like I should know and I don't. Oh, yeah, you should read. Okay. No, I don't know.

54:06I love it. Yes, I should. You would really enjoy it. I'm reading bullshit. What are you reading? Oh, no. I'm actually reading a really good novel. The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin. This is now becoming too intelligent for me. I can't. Have you read FameSec? Yes. Oh, my God. In one day. How amazing. It's an intense book. I know. Yeah. But it's an amazing, incredible. She's fucking amazing. It's funny that the crux of girls is her saying she's the voice of her generation in a joking manner. because she is. Do you know what I mean? Even in the book, she's like, yeah, and you read it. It's like, even she's like, that was a joke.

54:47Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She is. There's no one else that speaks like. Uh-huh. And for you to be like so in it and make a show about it like immediately. Yeah. And for you to be able to like pull up and see it for what it is, like that's impossible. You know what I thought was awesome when she was like, I was working and like her, it was her, the Safdie brothers and Greta Gerwig. I know. Just all working together in this place. How awesome. And they all are now them. I know. It's so cool. Jordan! My ex is my stepbrother now. What? Yeah. Period. We were together for two years and things got nasty towards the end.

55:27While we were together, I guess my mom and his dad both divorcees. Divorcees? Whatever you want. Fell in love and failed to share any of this information with us. I fear I'm in a cursed timeline. and I have to see him all the time now. Help me and set some healthy boundaries. Oh, help me set some healthy boundaries. Well, I feel like the boundaries is the, was the break, well, that's so hard. And actually, that's, well, Paul Rudd and Clueless, they started as step-siblings, and then they got together. Right, same with Copa Mia. What's Copa Mia? You gotta see Copa Mia. Okay. So, in Copa Mia, basically, Nicole Wallace's mom is getting married to this very wealthy guy.

56:10Nicole Wallace falls in love with the son. Oh. My advice is that you should be so, you should be like, my life is crazy. And just tell people like, my life is crazy. You guys have no idea my life is crazy. Embrace it. Embrace the crazy. She's already halfway there. Like embrace the crazy. Be like, my life is so not normal. Like to the point where like, start making light of it and making jokes about it. Make art about it. Make art about it. Truly. Make art. I work as a manager at a hotel. Since I live really close to work, UPS will sometimes deliver my personal packages there. The other day I was in the housekeeping storage room and found a box addressed to me that was opened.

56:54It was a vibrator I ordered. I don't know who the culprit is. Should I say something? Can you check the cameras? Yes. Well, I guess she can't in the closet. Oh, sure. Does she say something? I think we're at the point now in the culture where it's like, yeah, we all stick things in ourselves. No, but that's not her problem. Her problem is somebody fucking opened it. I know, which is illegal. Right. So now she wants to get revenge. Or just find out who it was and be like, why'd you steal my shit? Or open my shit. Maybe they were just curious. As long as they didn't steal your belongings, just my advice would be to stop having your shit sent to the hotel.

57:38Oh, interesting. Although, oh, God. One of the things about going into a place of work and having a solid shipping situation is that is so important. Really? I remember the days when I would get shit sent to work. Where'd you work? At an office called One King's Lane, not far from here. And what'd you do? I was one of their marketing graphic designers. You do graphic design? I used to. And now I couldn't tell you anything about it. It's all out. It's all gone from my brain. I just started getting close with my coworkers recently, and on a night out, I made the mistake of telling them I began taking Lexapro since the job.

58:19I don't think that's bad. That's not bad. Not a big deal, apparently, to these guys. Oh, not a big deal, but apparently to these guys, I'm a drug addict now. What? They're not even throwing shade, just like cracking jokes to everyone in the office about it. And it's super uncomfortable. What do I say to them? Because they are fun. Just this is a little whack. I think they're like actually like, and I mean this like full heartedly, like very stupid. I was going to say like, you don't want to get close to these people. What? Don't be friends with them. Ew, that sucks. It's, what do you mean you're a drug dealer for taking Lexapro?

58:55I take Lexapro. I guess I'm a fucking addict. I take Luvox. Luvox, by the way, has changed my life. And I'll tell you why. When I am taking Luvox and not smoking weed, which is not often, but it was the other day, I am like, good morning. Like, good morning, Louise. How are you, Manny? Like, what's up? Like, how are you? Like, today is beautiful. Like, let's have a day. When I'm taking Luvox and smoking weed, I'm back to Jake. Totally. Weed's been the thing that's helped me get my mind off his back pain. Weed's the best thing on planet earth You know I'm smoking immediately after this And I'm like Is this Because you know Lady Gaga got addicted to it To weed?

59:36Chromatic Or during Duran She was like I don't want people To get it twisted Like you can get addicted to marijuana I am addicted to weed And so And I think I am too I am It's very I think we are the guinea pigs For weed addiction Because it's sold now Oh yes Like legally Right right right So it's so much more accessible. And so we're, we're, and so we're like the, but like that, I am like smoking a joint for me is like, I'm not a big drinker. Me neither. It's the, it's the perfect way for me to wind down. Oh my God. Just like smoking a joint. Like it's like burns my throat a bit. Like I feel like lighter.

1:00:15Like I like, it's like a glass of wine for me. Absolutely. And I don't feel hung over in the morning. I just feel anxious. And like, maybe I want to kill myself.

1:00:26on par with the hangover Jake I saw messages on my boyfriend's wait did we give her advice oh yeah stop sending packages to your place of work oh no no this is the one with Deluxe Pro oh yeah those are not your friends those are not your friends you why would you want to be friends with people that fucking stupid period literally like what like what that's not even a funny joke no it's not even But it's not even not funny because it's like you're making fun of mental illness. It's just not funny, period. Exactly. That's not funny. That's not funny. All my friends are on meds. Every single one of my friends.

1:01:02Are you on meds? I used to be on Lex Pro. You're not anymore? You're healed? You're a healed Whitney. Held. You're a healing journey. You don't get that, do you? She's missing out. You don't get that, do you? Yeah. Jake, I saw messages on my boyfriend's phone between him and ChatGBT. He was talking about how I have a vibrator. My boyfriend told ChatGBT that our sexual relationship isn't what it used to be. Why is he telling ChatGBT this? That's terrible. Because I have a vibrator. Oh, ew. These people sound horrible. I know. He doesn't know that I saw those messages. Should I ignore it? What should I do?

1:01:41No. You can be like, I saw your fucking ChatGBT messages, you freak. I, that's, that feels so deeply, that's like a deeper level of shame than like looking through emails. Like talking to ChatGPT to some guys is probably like intimate beyond intimate. Well, your boyfriend also like is maybe gay and hates women. Like why is he mad that you have a vibrator? Exactly. Why is that ruining your sex life? Am I wrong? Like, right? Let women have vibrators. That's weird. Like, why don't you want her to experience pleasure? That's strange. It's, uh-huh. Like, you can't be, it's this thing where, like, such an American thing to be like, I have to be the partner to fulfill every need.

1:02:26Yeah. In France, it's like, oh, no, you have your fuck buddy and you have your intellectual boyfriend and your whatever boyfriend. What? It's like the French thing. It's like, no, your partner isn't going to be able to carry all of your expectations for you. They're not going to be able to fulfill every single need. Yeah, your boyfriend hates women, and he does not want you to experience joy. And you should break up with him. That's it. I just, oh my God, more. I just found out my boyfriend cheated from three different girls. We've been together for five years, and he recently tested positive for an STD.

1:02:58Cut it out. Only a few days pass, and one by one, I get messages from these girls saying he called them to go get checked. I'm sorry, it's not funny. As if the STD wasn't bad enough for me, I just found out he's been cheating for years. How should I kill him? Watch John Tucker Must Die. And you collab with the girls. You collab with the girls. Oh, yes. You're so right. You're making all these pop culture connections. I'm so - Are you proud? I'm so proud. Well, I never expected anything less. Thank you. I have some weird issue where I pretend to be asleep if anyone comes into my room. No matter what time of the day or night, if someone comes in, I'll turn everything off and pretend to be asleep.

1:03:33I don't know why I do this. I do it every single time and have done it for years. What could this be? What does this person live when someone comes into the room? I think a college dorm, it sounds like. I see, I see. It sounds like you just don't. Is it like a railroad-style apartment where they have to pass through the room in order to get to theirs? No, I think it's like, I don't know. Okay, right? Did you, when you were at, you went to NYU, right? Did you live in a dorm freshman year? Never lived in a dorm, and it freaked me out. Okay. It freaked me out. So that's why you're not, okay, so when you live in a dorm, Oh, sure, sure, sure.

1:04:04Your door is unlocked constantly. And it's your roommate. It's not only that, it's just like people come, like Brett, Like I like would sometimes wake up to like my best friend Brett just being in my room. She would be, okay, got it. Doing homework because like she couldn't in her room because her roommate was asleep. Sounds like a nightmare. It was awesome. Okay. It was the best time of my life. I've never experienced such joy in my entire life. I felt like I ruled the world. I was like, I remember the first night of college where everyone was like, okay, should we eat now? Like should we order food and eat?

1:04:38And I was like, wait. What? What? I get to eat with these people? We can just have like a sleepover and eat and have fun? Oh, yeah, you're right. You're so right. But I don't know what your issue is. Maybe you're an introvert. No, my sister went to NYU and it just made sense to live with her. Oh, okay. Well, that's fun. How'd you meet Matt? I was on the improv team at NYU and he wanted to get on the sketch team. And then I had a crush on a girl who lived on his floor. Are you bisexual? No. Oh. But at the time, I was like, after conversion therapy, I was like, I guess I'm straight again. You did conversion therapy?

1:05:14And then, yes. Oh, I'm so sorry. No, that's okay. That's okay. It wasn't like electrodes or anything. It was just like a creepy guy like telling me like, this is why being gay is bad. So I was in love with this girl. Gorgeous girl. Gorgeous Asian. And she was friends with Matt. and the first time I ever saw Matt was on Facebook when you could post videos to walls. And I'm stalking this girl. I was like, Facebook stalking this girl. And I wasn't like creepy or anything. That's not creepy. People stalk people on Instagram all the time. Exactly, exactly. And so, but then there's a video of this guy and it's Matt Rodgers being like, hey, I shouldn't say your name.

1:05:58Like, hey, I'm sending you a little naked video. and it was just like him like just like doing a little naked dance but like above the waist uh-huh i was like who the fuck and he publicly posted this and i was like who the fuck is this kid like closing in on my girl but then the first time we met in person i remember it was the elevator doors open and then i go in and then we both like clocked each other and like he like kind of wanted to impress me like he thought he thought like i had status over him and i like Didn't see it that way. And then he auditioned for the improv group the next year when we were softwares.

1:06:33And I go up to him before the audition. I was like, oh, my God, I'm so excited. Like, you're trying out for the groups this year. I was like, I went out of my way to be nice to him. And then he got cut after the first round, and he blamed it on me. And then how did you become friends? And then he got on the sketch group a week later. And then, like, I was the gay guy in the improv group. He was the gay guy in the sketch group. And all the other kids were like, play with each other. Yeah. And then we were like, no. Like, it was like an arranged marriage thing of, like, stop. Like, we hate this.

1:06:59And then, like, it's not, we're not going to be friends just because we're gay. And then we were friends just because we were gay. It was like the stepbrothers, did we just become best friends moment. You know, I've never seen stepbrothers. Get stoned tonight. Watch it. You will not regret it. You will be crying. You know what my plans are for tonight? What? I have a big group friend, because I haven't seen my friends at all this weekend. Uh-huh. And I have a big friend dinner at Thai Villa. Cute. That sounds so cute I'm really excited about it You're gonna get stoned before the friend dinner?

1:07:33I'm gonna go to the friend dinner with a joint Smoke outside the restaurant Go in and order Oh fab Oh I love that Wait I I don't wanna push myself Onto you But I feel like we should get stoned sometime Uh please And just like watch A little silly little movie or something I would love that And order food Mother daughter Mother daughter Yeah yeah Yes My roommate and her boyfriend Have such loud sex You can hear it in your room We don't speak often Because she's a narcissist And thinks she does nothing wrong But her gross ratty boyfriend Is over all the time All they do is have sex Argue and drink I literally cannot stand her And find joy When she isn't in the house I'm not the problem right?

1:08:13No Certainly not You should watch that new movie Roommates On Netflix Roommates Written by Jimmy Fallon And Kiro Sullivan Sorry Wait yes Who was it written by again? Jimmy Fallon and Kiro Sullivan I love Jimmy Fowler. Jimmy's the best. The best. The best. One of the funniest. Funniest, funniest, funniest. Sweetest. What did I see? Was he in Search Party? I'm sure he was. He's been in everything. He was in season two of The Comeback. He was in The Other Two. That's what it was. And he was the insta-guy. He was the insta-guy. So funny. Oh my God. The best show ever. The best show. You're so funny, Karen.

1:08:47You're like Amy Schumer. It's so, he's amazing. God, The Other Two was the best. So good. It's so good. Ugh. What? I missed the other two. I know. Isn't it cool, though, like, you're, like, on Hacks, like, you're, like, in this whole, like, you're in that whole, like, mix of, like, these comedy shows. I feel very accepted by the comedy scene, which is very. Because you're funny. Which is, thank you, but it's very nice because sometimes I don't, like, feel that way from people online. So when people in, like, your scene accept me and, like, take me in, it feels very good. I had a moment like this last week where I just kind of like, I like stumbled on like a snark page or something and I was like, and I fully spun out.

1:09:31And then I was like, I need to treat this like a fucking chemical spill zone. Yeah, it's the worst. It's like, actually the air is poison. It's bad. Do you know what I mean? Like it's just, it's actually, it's lethal if you get anywhere near it. I don't go on, I can't, I don't, I used to like find. I used to vanity search all the time. Yeah, all the time. I used to find the most joy. I had a whole bit on tour. It was like a joke of mine that I would tell, that I would wake up and Google my name on Twitter. And it was like, the best is not the best. Because I used to find mean tweets about myself.

1:10:07Me too. And I would read them at my show, and it was very, very, very funny. But it got to the point where it became too personal, and it's not funny anymore. Like, the abyss stares back. It's like, if you look too long at the dark thing, it will have an effect on you. My thing is like, I don't care if you, well, I do like, I, I, at the time I wore this very bad. It was like a, whatever. What, how did we get here? Um. Oh, the roommate. The roommate. Roommates written by Jimmy Fowley. Oh yes. And being accepted by the comedy community. Of course, Jake, it's, it's open arms. My ex-boyfriend. Thank you.

1:10:42My ex-boyfriend was insane and horrible, but the craziest thing about him was that he used to shit in bags. That's right. Not the toilet. Literal garbage bags. This motherfucker would put a garbage bag in a small trash can, sit on it, and shit. He even, as a joke, threw the bag at me once. The bad part is I stayed with him for months after that. How do I destroy this attraction to toxic men? Me love. Me love. I don't know what to—why would he— Why would you do that? My only reason I don't think that's a lie is because, like, how could you come up with that? Shitting in bags is like To me it doesn't live in kink It lives in like a There must be some like practical lifestyle Quote unquote practical quote unquote lifestyle reason And he threw the bag of shit at her That's fucked I'm sorry That's um Yeah that's wrong I would just hope that your next boyfriend isn't like that I had the best time with you I had the best time with you I love you so much Oh my god I love you so much I could talk to you for three hours Literally Okay well Bowen Jake What did we learn today?

1:11:54We learned We talked about everything This felt like a proper catch up We learned so much I learned so much I learned I learned that New York Is good on you Really? Yeah I think so too I'm really liking this Not that LA was bad But I really like Do you guys agree? I think both. I'm obsessed with Louise. She delivers things in such a perfect amount of gravitas. That is so nice. You do. Do you know one time I wrote in an email? I don't know why. You love this story. Because of what? Okay. Somebody wrote like, can you be here for this? And I wrote back, oh no, I can't. I will be away. Yes. And Louise texted me, I will be away, obsessed.

1:12:49And I said, what? Louise is a gay man. Louise is a gay man. Louise is a gay man. Totally. What did you do today on our call? And I called you out for it. So we're going over this campaign, and they're showing him a cardboard cutout of himself. And he's like, oh, my God, there's going to be a cardboard cutout. I love that. That's so cool. What's the photo? And I texted him. I said I showed you the cardboard cutout for approval do you remember and he says oh my god you guys Louise just side texted me like I do you remember in front of like 20 people my dude that is the second time I've done that in the span of two weeks he keeps doing that I text him on the side like hey reminder like don't yeah yeah I was doing an interview the other day Louise like was texting me like stuff and I said Louise stop texting me and I texted her today I said you're not safe when you side text me in these situations yeah the cutout thing he was like it made it seem like i lied that he had approved it oh i'm sorry i was like no i promise like he's had eyes on this so then how how in the future are you going to let him know about something like in a sidebar without potentially having your spot getting to be honest i'm probably just going to continue doing exactly.

1:14:06Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gay man in a woman's body. Totally. But you need to be better about not saying, oh my god, Louise just texted me. No, it's funny. Yeah, he likes it. I love it. And you know who was on the call, who made it all the better? Who? Paul Briganti. Oh, Paul! My king of all kings. Bowen, I love you. I love you. Thank you for coming on Therapist. Thank you for having me. Make sure to tune into the Culture Awards on June 17th on Bravo and Peacock. And it is You will not regret it. It is the greatest gift we have gotten in a while. It is amazing. Thank you. You need to know how amazing it is.

1:14:43Thank you. Enjoy Vegas. Thank you. Bye, pussies.