Session 128: Madison Beer

0:00Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes.

0:27Hi, Plessies. Welcome back to Therapist. We have Brett here for the intro. Hi. Hi. My hand hurts. Oh, I'm so sorry. Look, watch. It's like definitely not good. See? Okay, so the tendon just went over the muscle. Great watch. Ready? Yeah. Then watch it snap back into place. Ow. Yeah, it's bad. So if anyone at home knows what the fuck to do, please help me. I'm in so much pain every day of my life. Every morning I wake up in pain. Every night I go to bed in pain. I'm constantly in pain. You're going to have to go to physical therapy or something for that, I think. I think I might have to get the surgery.

1:02Oh, no way. Yeah, the tendonitis surgery. No way. They just, they quickly, they just, it's right here. It's like this tendon right here. What's the recovery like? I don't have time for it, so I don't know. Yeah, you're not having time for that. When do you leave again? For Europe? Yeah. Next week. Brett also just found a place. help them jake's rolling his eyes i'm not rolling my eyes because i'm mad i'm just no i'm just upset i'm in the same boat listen but i know what has to happen like obviously like life happens i am so sad and to move out like i'm so sad about it but at the same time it's time it's time for you and your relationship and we talked about this going into this year of the least.

1:49Yeah, no one is shocked. No one's shocked. Like, I'm not springing this on Jake. Like, I'm not gonna be far. No, seven minutes. I will be here literally all the time. All the time. If you're in town, I'll be here. Right. Which is when I see you anyway. Exactly. And I'm never in town. You're, you haven't gone more than you've been here in the last, like, five months, I think. Do you hear how sick I sound? Yeah. I'm sick. I think I need, I think you need to go to bed. I think I need to go, I think I'm sick. And you know me, if like, if like, if I'm like, if I'm feeling sick, I need Like my body, like I feel sick.

2:20Yeah. I feel sick. I mean. And so like my eyes are like literally collapsing onto themselves. Yeah. But it's like I'm out of shows to watch. But it's like have you seen Succession? I'm like the first two seasons. I'm watching it right now for the first time. It's so good. It's so good. Greg and Tom are really just like. Well, you know people call me Cousin Greg. And how funny that you actually know him in real life. I know. Nicholas Braun. Nicholas, I love you. Period, Nicholas. We did Broadway together. Yeah. I miss it. yeah I miss that era of my life well you know you're in another fun era right now you've just been like summer yeah I'm really like my body is really feeling it today like I really like I got home and my body is like you need to just like take a chill pill like I don't even know what I want for dinner I know me either honestly will you just keep me posted on your ideas yeah Well, what's this new grocery store?

3:15Laurel Supply. It's the Air One Dupe. Okay. Have you been? What's the vibe? I haven't been. I haven't been, but it literally is like, and I'm not just saying like happier grocery is like Air One like copy. No, it's like, this is an Air One Dupe. Same plates. But what are people saying about the food? I don't know. I'm intrigued. What is the type of food there? It's like the Buffalo Call Fire, Korean short. They have all the same shit. It's the same thing. Sushi counter. So the sushi counter looks cool. They have like the same smoothies. It's like very weird, honestly. But like smart, I guess. Do people like it?

3:51Are people on TikTok liking it? People like it. People think that it's more chic. People think this. Okay, but like what's the quality of the food? I don't know. I haven't been. I've passed it a few times and it's right by Barney's Beanery in West Hollywood. I've only been there once. I've never been there. People love it. People say on a Tuesday night it really pops off. Yeah. Did you have fun watching the Knicks here? So much fun. We watched the last, well, where was I watching? Oh, I was in bed at the game that you were at. That was so fucking crazy. Insane. It was the crazy experience of my life.

4:26It's unreal that you were there. You didn't even need to understand how basketball worked to know that it was point for point. Yeah. Was it, though? No, it wasn't point for point. They were, like, catching up. Yeah. They came back from, like, 29 points down or something insane. It was crazy. I mean, I thought they were losing. I thought it was over. Me too. I thought the game was over. Have you seen Jordan Woods' lucky bag? Yes. I'm so obsessed. Yeah. I love it. And you know it's her own brand too. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's her own brand and it's her lucky bag. Like it's sick. And her, and her fiance, Carl.

4:54Yeah, Carl Anthony Townsend. Yeah. Well, I'm obsessed with like, because there's so much other like lore of like the team and like Jalen, so Jalen Brunson went to a high school right near me. Fun fact. Okay. So what's his draft story? Because apparently it's like emotional. He was drafted in the second round, so he wasn't even like a first round draft pick, I think. You're correct. Yeah. You're correct. And then I don't know anything else. But there's something about his draft story that makes it so this is like even more emotional. Maybe he was supposed to go in the first round and didn't. Because he had won like a national championship at Villanova.

5:24Maybe two. He went to Villanova? Yeah. Did they have a good basketball team? So good. Like when they're in their like era, yeah, they were really good when he was there. And then like his dad is like an assistant coach. He didn't know that. Like I'm just obsessed with it all. Well, do you know that one of the coaches on the Knicks is like the dad of one of the players? Jalen's dad. Oh. Yes. And do you know Jalen's dad then won a championship the last time the Knicks won was with his dad? No, they made it to the championships when his dad was on the team and didn't win. So he won for his dad. Oh, I'm sick.

5:57Which, like, gag. I'm sick. Yeah. Are you excited for the Olympics? You mean FIFA? No, the Olympics. In two years? Uh-huh. are you excited i mean yeah are you excited for the world cup that's happening now yeah i went to the opening match oh yeah you went how was that it was actually so fun look my thing with soccer is i it's very slow for me and there's like two goals throughout the entire game see so like i kind of love it because there's no stoppage what do you mean there's no stop like like they very rarely stop the game so i feel like there's just always something not necessarily going on because like yes I agree with you that the goals are low but like you know with like hockey there's like a whistle like every like two minutes like soccer's not like that like the most they stop a half is like five to like seven minutes like over the course of 45 minutes got it I'm really freaking out about my hand I'm freaking out for anyone has any remedies for dequeurvins tendinitis which is what I have please help me I'm supposed to work out tomorrow I don't know how I'm gonna work out can you just does it hurt to like grab things no everything hurts my body's like creaking yeah you just need a lot of sleep well what else you're moving into July moving in the end of July which is just I'm excited about it but I'm also like overwhelmed about all the things but no I'm excited it's just like there's so many things I need to buy I keep like looking for furniture and I'm like, oh my God, this is perfect.

7:28And then it's like going to be delivered in October. And like, I can't do that. Well, that's the furniture market. I know. And I can't do it. Yeah. I'm miserable about it. Like the couch I'm getting, the couch we're getting, I guess, it's technically we, which is crazy, is going to take like two months probably. So you need a new couch then, a different couch? No, but like I'm really obsessed with this couch. What couch is it? It's from Lulu in Georgia and it's like really cute. Got it. And green. Oh, comfy. Have you tried it on? No, because they don't have a fucking showroom here, so I'm really going in blind.

8:01But I've heard really good things. Like, my friend has a couch from them and says it's really good. Okay. So, yeah. So, it's just, like, there's just a lot. I also just have to, like, show you the place. I know. I haven't seen the place all of a sudden. I called Jake, like, literally before we even signed the lease. Was I in France? Yeah. You sent me the most passive emoji. What emoji? It's, like, the soft smile. Oh, that's not passive. That's just like. You were like wanting to die. So then I called you and I said, listen, you're the first person I'm telling you'd be pissed off if I didn't tell you for a week.

8:33Wait, I'm not. I wasn't mad. I was just like, okay. You said I didn't need this today. No, I'm beyond happy for you. Brett's technically up in June and I was trying to string her along until September. So I'm excited, but it's like, it's crazy. Well, tonight we have a Madison Beer. Do you have a favorite Madison Beer song? Dear Society. Oh, didn't Peyton love boy shit? Yeah, Peyton loves boy shit. hurts like hell hurts like hell hurts like hell hurts like hell love that was our college one um good and goodbye oh yeah good and goodbye oh my god she has so many good songs bangers love um okay well i love you and we're gonna do a full thank you even if it's just for a week we're gonna do a full goodbye episode before everything before brett moves yes i love you Love you.

9:22Love you, pussies. Tonight we have on Madison Beer, who just began her Lock It tour worldwide. It is amazing. If you have a chance to see it, please go see it. She is incredible. Enjoy the episode. I love you, pussies. Are you ready? I'm ready. Well, we have Madison Beer on tonight. Yay. I'm so excited that we're finally doing this. I know. It's been - It's like every time I see you, I'm like, let me in, put me in, coach. No, we're always like, we need to, because you have a very busy schedule. As do you. No, not as busy as you. Oh, stop it. We made it work, though. We did make it work. Are you excited for tour?

9:58I was like, I'm not going on tour until I see Jake Shane. It's not happening. And you're about to leave for tour. I know. Are you excited or nervous? Hopefully, when is this coming out? After it had already started? Yeah. Okay, so future me. I hope you're having fun. I hope everything's going well. But as of right now in this moment, I'm definitely in like, I don't want to say panic mode, but this is like my biggest show like I have you know like a big well I guess I could talk about it because it'll be happening I have like a big set design like I have props and you know things that are on automation that are spinning and moving and there's just a lot of things going on this time like my last tour was literally just a staircase and that's it and then my tour before that was like a tree on stage like I've never had a real true like set build so like the set build there's so much more lighting I have a catwalk for the first time I'm like there's so many things that I've never done that are happening for the first time on this tour and so I think I'm just feeling nervous of course I'm also kind of dancing which I'm not a dancer wish I was I feel like you are a dancer I'm gonna try to give my all I do and I think I'm gonna like try my best but yeah are you like do you have fun on tour I okay I feel like I've figured out how to have fun on tour I think that I used to be my second tour was really miserable and horrible like the shows were amazing so anyone that went like love you down but like the actual tour was really brutal it was really long I did mainly three shows in a row and then would have one day off which I just learned very quickly is not sustainable for me um and I think I was also just surrounded by people that didn't really make it fun honestly and so it just I don't know it just wasn't a good time um sadly and so that kind of made me be like do I even want to ever do this again which then I thought was really sad what album were you touring for that tour dude I'm so messed up I think that was I'm pretty sure that was life support but I loved my dancers there was okay there was people I loved on the tour but it was just like the scheduling of it I think was the worst part was it was just way too much and like way too time consuming and whatever and then my spin and tour which was the last one was better because I feel like I was really around like I like everyone on my crew and everyone like everyone was just so great and I kind of put my foot down and was like if I'm doing another tour it needs to be not through no threes in a row if there has to be like one it's fine but yeah I need to just like prioritize my sanity um you also can't give a good show if you're not feeling good no I like cut down on the meet and greets I was doing 150 which also just is unfair to the fans too because you want to give every single person that and then I'm up there for six hours and I'm like we it's showtime you know I can't it wasn't possible and then we did 30 on this last tour which I thought was going to be a lot easier and it still was a lot because I'm then still spending like five ten minutes sometimes with people and like it just it just was too much and I felt bad it got it got to the point where I was just like I don't feel like this is fair like I feel like it's I'm you're paying me to like take a selfie when I could just meet you outside and like do the same thing it just felt weird so this tour I'm not doing any meet and greets which they were upset about but I think it will help the flow of like my day a lot more and I'm doing a Q &A on stage I was about to say are you doing soundcheck which I love like I I love a Q &A soundcheck party.

13:03I feel like it's so much more. Intimate. Yeah. And I can actually, I can actually sit there for two hours and just like talk to everybody. It's also like way less pressure. I feel like I'm more comfortable because you're like sitting there and it's almost like hanging out with a group of friends. I think the Q &A thing I love because it's just like, I have them usually submit questions before and I'll just read off like every question and it's just fun. And like you said, it does feel like you're friends. And like, I'm assuming obviously most of the people that go and see me at a Q &A, like know me really well.

13:28So it literally feels like we're having a big hangout. What do you call your fan base? No name. No name? Didn't they try to call themselves the alcoholics? Please. I can't. I was like, you guys are 16. You can't say this. No, but there was so many names. I think I named them the Imaginers when I was like 13 with an MAD in the middle. So it was like, I am. Please. And that was crazy. They still sometimes will do it. They call themselves beer babes. I've seen like, yeah, like alcoholics, beer holics. I'm just like, can we just not have a name? Right. I think that era has passed us all. Would you, are you doing any old music on tour?

14:05Yeah. Yeah. I'm doing some songs from life support. Um, I'm doing all of lock it. I'm doing some from silence between songs. And then I have a fan song every night, which is the first time I'm doing like letting them pick one. How do they pick? Okay. Again, let's see what actually ends up happening. Cause it's still being worked out. And I feel like it's kind of right now the, the concept is there, but it's not executing the way that it needs to be. Like every time we rehearse it, it feels really awkward. So my whole thing was like, I feel like a lot of shows that you see, especially when there's like fan interaction, it's always the people in the front, which no hate at all.

14:39Like those people obviously are like paying them, whatever. But I just feel like I love when it's someone that is like, I never thought I'd be chosen and it could be someone literally in the back of the arena or the hot, whatever. But it'll change. Like, I think I'm planning on doing, yes, some nights might be the kid in the front row. Some nights might be somebody in the nosebleeds. Who knows? But I just feel like that inclusivity feels really cool to me. So then I was like, we have to think of something creative. Um, so then that led me to this idea. Don't know where this came from, but it was kind of like someone's, one of my dancers are going to come on stage and give me this like locket box that I'm going to open.

15:11And it's going to have three. We have like, I think we have about 15 songs prepped, but each night is going to be a choice of three. So three different songs every night. And which I also was thinking about, sorry, you're going to notice very quickly. I'm like, no, me too. I'm the same way. Um, like I wish I could figure out a way to let them choose which three of the 15 they want that night but then I feel like it's always going to be the same three so I like have to just do it by myself or maybe I'll like sound check choose I don't know something um so basically it'll be three letters in the locket box that'll be like envelopes and they're going to say a lyric on the front of it so it might say like you know in these sour times and then I'll be like oh this one says that and hopefully they'll all scream I'm hoping they like know the songs I'm nervous they're going to be like wait what um and then I'm going to be like grew up in the same house which is a lyric from my song Ryder like whatever read the lyrics that are on the front and then And I'm going to tell my dancer like, okay, you can go send these out now.

16:02And then the second she leaves stage, like a spotlight will go on to someone who will obviously there'll be a second box and someone will have delivered the letters to this person with the same box and they will then have the three options in front of them. And I want that person to just pick whichever letter they want, open the envelope and inside the envelope to say the name. And they can like hold it up to the camera and then we sing it. So that's fine. That's the idea right now, but it just feels a little clunky. So I'm trying to smooth it out. But you'll like figure it out. I know. Like the first show you'll be like stressed and then it'll be like it'll.

16:32I'm going to be so stressed the first show. Always. Like panicking, losing my mind. I'm going to dissociate completely. Do you like take a beta blocker or anything? No, I've actually never taken a beta blocker. They don't work for me. I don't think anything would work for me. I'm like I need to be sedated actually. No, they don't. Beta blockers like don't work for me. I saw that Rachel Sennett video like when that first dropped and I was like oh my god I need this. And then I was like I don't think this would work. What does it do? It's supposed to slow the physical symptoms of anxiety. Please.

17:01And I kept saying, I think I'm slurring my words, but I wasn't because it doesn't work. Whoa. It really doesn't work for me. To be honest, I don't get like nervous anxiety. I get more, I think because I'm, my hands are in every department. Like I'm sitting and programming the lighting. I'm editing the tour content with the editors. Like I, there's not one thing that I'm not a part of. So I think that it's not, it's, it's hard for me to get on stage and just be like, I have to sing good and do my steps. I'm also like, is the LED wall on? Is the lighting working? I don't know. It feels very involved for me.

17:32Are you a Virgo? Am I a Virgo? No, I'm a Pisces. Oh, right. You are a Pisces. What are you? Scorpio. Okay, water down. Yeah, water down. Pisces women are my favorite. We are the best. You guys are the best. My best friend Alice is a Pisces woman. Hands down. The best. The best. Thank you. Pisces man kind of tricky. That's so funny though. My boyfriend is a Pisces man. Is he really? But I would have said the same thing about Pisces men before I dated him. Okay. Would have said the same thing. Would have been like, no. Because I had only met, well, actually, that's not true. I know a couple of Pisces men that are good.

18:06But I met one man once that was the scariest person I've ever met. And he was a Pisces man. And I literally was like, run from Pisces men. Because they can be tricky. They can be. But he's a really good one. And he's changed my mind, of course. Is he March or February? He's five days after me. He's March 10th. I'm March 5th. Oh, that's really cute. Isn't that so special? We can have - Joint birthday. Joint birthdays for life. I know it's incredible no it's we did we right it's we did have a little joint birthday energy last year though um people always ask me if I'm a Virgo though that's weird that you ask that are you is it in any of your chart no but Pisces and Virgo are like direct opposites and so people are they really so they say they're like compatible I don't know here's my thing about astrology I'm totally a believer love it I always am like finding myself my bubble is a lot of the same signs but I feel like there's good and bad in every sign obviously of course and so like I think it's unfair sometimes like to be honest with you like I always say Scorpio men are crazy they are well we're insane crazy we're insane but then I'm like I meet some that I'm like no you're great it just it's it's to me it's like are you a healed one or are you not right or are you trying to heal right are you trying to be better that's none of the above for me really yeah I think you're lying no I think maybe I'm like a little healed are you in therapy yeah but I always skip.

19:20What do you mean? So you're not. He's like, it's on the calendar, but it doesn't. I always skip. Like I have two therapy sessions a week. I skip both of them every time. Because it's just I'm talk therapy is really bad for me. OK. I need to do like actual activities. OK. Or else it doesn't like. I completely understand that. Honestly, I've done a lot of different types of reiterating the same shit over and over and over and I'm spinning. I know for sure. Spinning out. And I'm like, dude, I feel like sometimes with me, I I feel like sometimes I'll get on with my therapist and I'm like I actually know the answers to this like I don't feel like I need advice so that's why I'm like I need to do activities I know yeah for my OCD or something like something to like actually work on I have really bad OCD too do you really yeah really bad what type um this is so random but I feel like mine is very need to know type yeah you know what I mean no that's the thing yeah I think that that's my main thing is I think you need to know everything yeah yeah yeah I feel like I'm I've always labeled that as curiosity but then I actually recently spoke to a psychiatrist who was like no you have like severe OCD that's not normal and I was like oh okay that makes me feel better at least because I feel like for so long I thought that I was just maybe like an over I'm definitely an overthinker but I think I thought I diagnosed it as like oh I'm just an overthinker who like has anxiety and my therapist psychiatrist was like no you this is like a real thing I have that too I feel like it's really mine's really like I need to know everything.

20:44There's definitely more as well. Posting, this sounds so stupid, but like posting on social media. It's really not. It doesn't sound stupid to me. Spikes is like a huge trigger for my anxiety, my OCD. I feel like it's been getting progressively worse as the years have gone on. Like it's really difficult for me to just like post on Instagram, which sounds pathetic, but it's true. No, I have a hard time commenting. It's like, does it not, you like sit there and you're like, I don't know what to say or do. Well, I think if I comment the wrong thing, I'll get bad luck. Oh my God. So like I go crazy over it.

21:14Wait, were you the kind of kid that you were like, if I don't spin in circles three times, my parents are going to die because that's how I am. That's always how I've been my whole life. Never knew that was an OCD thing. Magical thinking OCD. What? Yeah. I've never heard of that. I literally used to do that growing up. I'd be like, oh my God, I have to walk back three steps or my whole family is going to die in a fire. What the hell? I would like count to two and like clock my, it was like a whole thing. Oh my God. Clearly I don't know that much about OCD. This is a new diagnosis for me. It's being talked about a little more.

21:40I also discovered I have confessional OCD, which is like I need to like if I lie, I have to tell you I lied. For sure. I have that. I have to tell you everything about myself. So like someone can't like find out about me. Oh, my God. Yeah. That is exactly how I am. Well, this is who I am. Like take it or leave it. No, I'm baring my soul. Yeah. Oh, my God. I wonder is like oversharing a compulsion. Yes, that's. Yeah. I one time there was a really this is what made me actually want to seek out help because my someone that was on my crew on my tour has like diagnosed OCD has been diagnosed for like 10 years and there was one day on tour last tour where it was like guys let's meet in the lobby at noon we're all gonna go get lunch and I was like amazing see you guys down there just posting on Instagram really quick this is at 10 30 so like plenty of time to get an Instagram post up and then get to lunch an hour and a half yeah hi and I legitimately didn't leave my room till 4 30 p.m.

22:33I'm not joking and I was sitting there and I was like this is disturbed What about it scares you so much? What is it? Oh my God. I feel like it's weird because I think it's just something, I think I have control issues as well. Like I definitely feel like I've felt out of control a lot. Like even in my childhood pre all of this, like whatever, I think I've had a lot of issues with control. I think that's also where my death anxiety comes from. A whole different conversation. Anywho. But yeah, I think that for me, social media has been something throughout such a big portion of, people don't realize that I've been on like social media since I'm 12.

23:04But you like start your career started on social media. Yeah. Like my first ever thing was on YouTube and then. Yeah. On Twitter was how Justin tweeted about me and discovered me. So it's just been it's been a really big constant in my life. And I think just the more time that goes on. I care less about it now in the sense of like I can step away. I can like not read hate. I think I'm at peace with who I am. And I'm like if you don't like me that's fine. But I don't know. I think especially on tour it probably has a lot to do with like I'm putting so much work and effort into this that I want everything to convey the right message I also that's like a really big thing of mine where I'm like I hope that everything I do conveys the right message which is not possible to do in an Instagram post and also I feel like it's more stressful on tour because you have to deal with whatever you read and then get on stage yeah and like still deliver the same show even if like you read something that's like I didn't like it yeah you're like wait what like I remember when like someone was like I hated that show and I had to get on stage the next night and do it and I was like I what am I supposed to do right now no it's horrible yeah yeah but I don't know I don't know the specifics like why I freak out so much I think it's just like a it's a lack of control lack of knowing how it's going to come across lack of like ability to dictate the perception it's just all of it I think it's too much for me yeah I don't think I was cut out to like be in any type of but you were I don't know so many iconic moments on the internet you know what and I've accepted them now like I think that for a long time I was really embarrassed by some of those like viral things well because they were very much so hated on when they happened they were but now it's like a meme and it's funny we love it like who's your friend I was supposed to be in the video like there's these are these are historical moments who's your friend history you know what who's your friend i look back and i'm like i was 16 and i had balls on me good for her bag in a dream i was like balenciaga city bag converse lace to the top i was like i'm ready to go you know who is your friend who's your friend what do you mean and and also what do you mean your friend yeah who yeah tell me the name crazy so i look back and i i can be proud of that younger version because I'm like you know what you stood on business I really say that like people like really are like no but she asked to talk in private too like it's such emotional maturity like and at the time people were not saying that you know what at the time no one said that you know what actually I remember vividly people were like she wanted to talk in private because she was embarrassed I'm like no no no I asked her to talk in private because I could I looked around I said this is giving bullying and I don't like this and so I said we can talk in private we don't have to talk in front of everybody like come on i dude but then you have to understand this was also like peak mag con hell for me where like every single fan on earth wanted me dead and so is that what happened yes that was in the video the girl literally says um oh yeah you hurt my friend or like she said something about and i remember i was like who what the hell so yeah people don't realize that like that was a very intense time on the internet did you ever see the video of these girls standing outside of i'm pretty sure it was like a mad con show and literally this girl films and she goes scream if you hate madison beer and 500 girls just scream at the top of my life god that time was such an unpoliced era of like social media crazy that's what i'm that's what i'm saying is like people don't realize that then that went viral and people were like not being on my side at all when i was genuinely just trying to confront someone who was being like really mean to me on the internet and the story is me and that girl ended up talking i see her out and about in la to this day she's a very nice girl she's a very nice girl okay and like honestly we have no no issues at all we squashed it that day but no issue but yeah in private but even the i was supposed to be in the video ever all of my things on the internet were not received well when they happened right now we can all laugh i'm laughing now yeah but then oh it was bad do you like what did it feel like well it was just really embarrassing and I was like am I literally queen of cringe like what is going on and then it makes you also second guess everything you say and yes that was my issue is then I feel like it it negatively affected my general life because I would say something like with really pure intentions because even though I was supposed to be in the video thing was so pure intentioned I was just talking to a group of people and thank you next had just come out and I was like wait guys like I have tea yeah I thought I was telling them tea and it was like something cute and I think that it the hardest part of all of those types of things was having to be like oh wait I can do something that I think is pure intentioned and fine and then the internet can be like oh my god she's so cringy and annoying and then it makes me like question my personality and it made me just be like am I cringy and annoying and is that who I am and so I think that sucked and I was really young I mean I was 20 when the video thing happened and then I was like 16 when the other thing happened so and I feel like it's also like you're then talking and you're like and you say something and then you think about how like someone on TikTok is being twisted or like someone yeah it's crazy that's not how we should be living no to me that's just not conducive to society like I feel like we should I don't know we should operate with a lot more like grace with people it's it's a scary time can you imagine if TikTok was around during the on days please i truthfully wouldn't be sitting here right now like i couldn't it was too much even when it was just like twitter and instagram yeah the amount of hate pages i had back then hate you had hate pages you don't understand i think there was more hate pages than there were fan pages and what i hate madison beer xoxo it was like crazy it was crazy my mother used to literally this is crazy my mom used to find if someone had like a hate page or i'd left a hate comment my mom was so against the bullying that she would find the person and try to find their facebook and then like reach out to their parents and be like your child is bully good for her yeah no my mom was well because she just would see how it would affect me and like someone and it was always an apology and it was always like well because of course yeah but i'm like your kid told my kid to kill herself and my mom would literally used to say that all the time and it was like 12 year olds it was literally like oh kill yourself what um whoa yeah my mom did not Tracy beer does not mess around she was like I'm telling she was like I'm telling on you yeah literally that's what she said to all these kids did you get apologies ever you got apologies you said um I think sometimes people have honestly it's been it's been really weird in the last couple years people have actually come up to me and been like I just want to say like I'm so sorry I definitely like bullied you when we were kids and I'm like oh it's like you grew up together I know it is it really is it was like school it really was well because I also got pulled out of school in seventh grade so this was my like middle high school experience was the internet i got signed when i was 12 that's crazy sometimes i'll meet people like in my meeting greets and they're like i'm 12 and i'm like it's past your bedtime and then like oh my god i was signed you were a working girl what the hell i feel like you're very healed from that era thank you i try i feel like you are i think that like i really don't believe in carrying animosity or like being someone that just like seethes all the time.

30:16Like I really think it's not good for you. And I think I'm someone who harps on things. I spin out. I'm like, it's not good for me. And I think I, there's, yeah, there's so much I can sit here and be like, this person did me wrong and this was fucked up. And even all those kids who hated on me, I'm like, I release all of that. I try really hard to like let go. And yeah, I just try not to hold on to things that don't really serve me. And I think I have a lot of empathy for other people too. Maybe sometimes when it's not deserved, but I'm like, well you probably were hurting if you were commenting on my posts these things or whatever um but yeah I do think that I've healed a good amount as much as I can be I try to be like thankful for where I'm at and when I do have my moments of like whatever it might be um I try to just be like this is really good given what my situation could be if I hadn't done all this work you know right so yeah so you're like happy I am happy I really am like I think that I think that I have come into myself in a way that i'm really proud of like yeah cheers to that right eyes cheers i'm like trying not to whack the microphone out of your hand well congratulations thanks and the new album is fucking phenomenal thank you in the shower it's amazing wait my favorite angel wings fire yeah thank you are you doing it on tour yes i'm doing the whole album on tour um angel wings is cute too because it has like a really sickening visual that plays before it and And then, so, okay, I have this, like, it's, to me, it's like a wind-up, like, music box.

31:44So there's a part where I come out of it, like, spinning for Reckless. And then there's also a part where it turns like this, and it has a heart cut out in the front of it. So I sit in the heart for Angel Wings, and it, like, spins me out, and I'm, like, cutesy in the heart. That's fun. So, yeah, it's really cute. But I love Angel Wings. I'm glad you like that one. Yeah, fire. Do you have a favorite song to perform? My favorite song to sing is my song Envy the Leaves, which I doubt you've ever heard. It's a very deep cut off of sounds. I'm like, which album is it on? Silence Between Songs. And I just love it so much.

32:12Like, I don't, do you sing? No. Not at all? Like, I could give a note. Okay. But like, I just, you know, I'm like, give a note. I could give you a note. I feel like I, I'm sure a lot of people who sing also can like relate to this, where some songs just like take you completely out of your body and you just sing and you almost like you black out and you don't even know that you just sang a song. That's what that song does for me. And I feel like every time I sing it, I just, especially on tour, I'll sing the whole thing. and then I'm like, oh, the song's over. Did I even just say a lyric? I don't know.

32:42Yeah, so I think that's my favorite. It's just beautiful. Which song has the loudest crowd sing back? Ooh, maybe Boy Shit, which is an old song, but they love Boy Shit. They love Boy Shit. Envy the Leaves, honestly, they love too because I think it's become like a fan cult classic vibe. I'm trying to think of what else gets always a big reaction. Reckless I think is it's probably it's my biggest song I'm hoping that Make You Mine gets a big reaction when they hear that it will yeah Make You Mine will maybe Bittersweet too yeah Bittersweet is ending the show so I'm excited oh really and what's starting it yes baby fire yeah so coming out sexy mama and then ending on like a cute sweet note originally Make You Mine was ending the show and it just didn't feel Bittersweet makes sense to end Bittersweet feels like confetti in a song and I have confetti in it so I'm just like it needs to be something I can spin and like have a good time.

33:37Right. You know? I'm so excited. I'm so excited to see the show. So you're going to come to LA? I want to come to MSG. Please. That's what I want. That's the show to come to. This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Well, it's officially summer. It's summer and it's time to plan those trips. And planning those trips means first and foremost, finding a place to stay for those trips. If you're going to see a festival, if you're going for a weekend getaway, you need to have a roof over your head unless you're going camping. And Booking.com provides the best resource for finding a place to stay because it allows every single person to put in their needs for whatever they need.

34:20Tub. Like, for example, in this episode of Therapist, Madison says she needs a tub in every hotel room she stays in. And you can put that into Booking.com and find a place to stay. and you can find a place that has a tub for your friend, a shower for your other friend, a terrace, walkability. You can really make a fully well-rounded trip on booking.com. As you guys know, on tour, I'd literally end up in a city with nowhere to stay and Matt would have to go on booking.com and type in what everyone wants and we would find a place to stay. Find exactly what you're booking for at booking.com. Booking.yeah!

34:54Book today on the site or in the app. Thank you, SeatGeek, for sponsoring tonight's episode. So not only is Madison going on tour, so is Ariana Grande, so is Charlie XCX. Everyone is going on tour again, it feels like. And the best place to get tickets for these tours is on SeatGeek. Also, the World Cup is in the U.S. this summer. To get tickets to the World Cup, you can do it on SeatGeek. Like, they provide ticketing for any live event. Comedy, sports, music, Broadway, anything. You can get your tickets on SeatGeek. When you go to the site and buy a ticket, you will know that the seat is good.

35:30And they have a rating system from 1 to 10, 1 being not the best, 10 being the best. So you know if you're, like, getting a good deal. You can also use code THERAPUS for 10 % off your order. And if you click the link in the description and download the app, it automatically applies to code THERAPUS for 10 % off your order. But we are seeing Ariana this week. We are so excited. I would like to make it to a World Cup game. as we all know Knicks in five the Knicks just won I'm a basketball fan so when basketball season comes around again you can get tickets on SeatGeek like they really are just the best place to get tickets for any event that you any live event that you would like to go to once again you can use code THERAPUS for 10 % off and if you click the link in the description and download the app it automatically applies the code thank you again SeatGeek for sponsoring tonight's episode well what are you therapist about today today today's a good day but okay let me try to channel today is so far good i woke up bad though what okay so can you answer i had a dream that i broke every bone in my body i have the worst dreams every night and so and i woke up and my whole body was so stiff and like you were like do you ever have that thing where you're like am i broken yes was that real yes I woke up and my back hurt and everything hurt because my dream dude I had broken I was at I was with I forget the dream was weird but I remember walking around with broken bones and then going to the apple store and like not being it was so weird what is what are dreams is the question right what's going on I feel like you're tapped into that I am so confused I feel like every time I go to bed I'm like well we'll see what happens tonight it's always something traumatic it's always something horrible I think I was like skinning someone last night in my dream yep legitimately you know it's because the full moon is it it's the full moon's in scorpio okay and so it's that makes sense you're skinning someone because it's like no because you're like releasing it's about it's about unearthed stuff that you haven't gotten out no i think i just watched that like ed gein documentary and i think it just stuck with me yeah so i think that might have maybe stuck with me a little too hard i'm good usually with like scary stuff that i told everyone i would literally when it first came out this was a couple months ago i would literally go up to people and be like if you're considering watching it don't which documentary is it i want to watch it now no don't like actually i'm being so for real like i don't get easily traumatized and scared of things well i get easily traumatized i guess but i don't get like freaked out by true crime stuff this is like ryan murphy if you're watching this i'm scared oh was it the ryan murphy one yeah well you know how there was like the menendez brothers like this was disturbing on a level that we don't need to see this i couldn't watch the Jeffrey Dahmer one see I watched that one and it didn't like oh I couldn't know the Ed Gein one is like way more it's like way more like graphic I can't even like talking about it makes me feel sick but my then to piggyback off of your dream my my I'm therapist about my dream the other day I literally had a dream that and this is probably just like old old stuff coming up because I I had a dream tell me this has ever happened to you I had a dream that my boyfriend was like being really mean to me he's the night would never in a million years but like in the dream he was like being so mean to me and I woke in the dream I woke up and he was next to me and I was like hey like why did you why were you so mean to me and he was just still being mean I was still in the dream and then I woke up in real life you've never woken up in a dream no has yes and it's the freakiest feeling in the world I literally was like when I woke up actually in real life he was I was like did that just happen and I literally for 10 minutes didn't know if it happened or not and And I was like, I've had dreams where I don't know if it happened, but I've never, well, I was like, it couldn't have happened because he would never treat me like that.