Session 130: Lisa Barlow

33:58It's his own project without me and John, and it's so good. And he's happy. He's bilingual, like fluently, completely fluent. He works really, really hard. He works. He moonlights at our lounge, works his brand Fresh Wolf. He's shredded. He's so cute. How is the lounge? The lounge is amazing. We need to do your birthday party there. I know. That's what I'm saying. I want to fly everyone out to Utah, and I want to do my birthday party at the Bita Tequila Lounge. We're making this happen. And it will be the best night of my life. The best night of our life. I don't know if you can top Europe. Your Europe trip looked pretty amazing.

34:31It was amazing. It was amazing. I had so much FOMO. I wanted to be running down the streets of Monaco with you. We were running down the streets, clubs every night. I know. I felt it with you. You were at, what's it called? Oh, my gosh. What club did you go to? We went to Lily's, and then we went to some other first name club. Oh, my gosh. Like Poppies or something. Yes, I know. And it's like the best one. I know exactly where it is. I saw you guys running through the streets and I literally was like, I need to be there. Oh, it would have been perfect with you there. It looks so fun. Oh my gosh, it looks so fun.

35:02I'm going to Paris for the first time this Sunday. I've never been to Paris. Oh, you're going to thrive in Paris. I'm so excited. Oh my gosh, you're going to thrive. What are you doing in Paris? I'm going to the Dior show. Yeah, amazing. Thank you. Yes, you're amazing. You're amazing. Oh my gosh. You know you're my favorite housewife of all time. Oh my gosh, thank you. You know what's funny is like, that's such a nice, sweet thing to say, and I love you so much for that. I forget I'm even on Housewives a lot of times. Wait, what do you mean? Like, is that crazy? Oh, because you're just like, I'm her?

35:35Yeah, like, you know, oh my gosh, speaking of her, have you heard that country song, Be Her? Oh, yeah, by Ella Langley. Yes, are you obsessed with that? Can you sing it for me? She drinks wine by the glass. I gotta take a sip real quick. Okay. I love this song. We should turn it on and sing it. Uh-huh. Not by the bottle. I just got nervous and I never get nervous. No, no, no. Don't be nervous. Here, I'll turn it around. She drinks wine by the glass. Not by the bottle. She ain't stuck in the past. Ain't worried about tomorrow. You know who she's singing that about? I'm convinced. It's herself. Oh, what do you mean?

36:14I think that song is about her. when she's like, I just want to be her so bad, it hurts so bad. To me, when Ella sings that song, it's really about herself. And she's like. Oh, yeah. It's like who she really is. Oh, I love that. So introspective. Yeah, I feel like when I listen to it, it reminds me of my mother, too. Like, I called my mom, and I'm like, this song is about you. When I hear the song, I think of you. Because she's so authentically herself. And, like, if she were on the show, people would be obsessed with her. She's so cool. Your mom? Yeah, she'll never do it. She wouldn't even let me stand next to her in public.

36:48Wait, why won't she do the show? She just loves her privacy. Okay, respect. But she is like 100 % her. But when I heard Ella Langley singing that, I was like, she's singing this about herself. In what? It's like the way she sees herself to me. Right, right. Like when she sings that, I'm like, I feel it so strongly. I want to ask her someday. But I'm like, she has to be singing that about herself, the way she really sees herself. What else are you listening to right now besides Baby Gorgeous? You know what's so funny? We went to the AMAs and I was like, my nieces love Cat's Eye. And they are so hot and their outfits are the cutest thing ever.

37:27But I kind of am like, I never thought I would be into Cat's Eye. I love them. I love country right now. Love country. Yeah, I love country music right now. And I love the way Ella Langley's doing it too because it's like a cross popover-y kind of thing. but that song Ice Cream Sing in the Car and I like love it so much. My favorite is Choosing Texas. Oh, yes. She's from Texas, I can tell by the way. She's just stepping down the room. That's like such a good one too. But all of her songs are so good. I haven't warmed up my voice where I would full on sing for you. I've been in vocal lessons for two years.

38:04What? Over two years. Yes. Yes. And I do this whole warm up thing. You know, if you blow bubbles in your drink, you can sing better. if you just warm up like this

38:17like sing your favorite song with bubbles in your glass it'll open up your throat so much I'm not kidding you and then you'll be able to when you start singing you're gonna sound so good it like stretches the muscles in the back of your throat it's so good oh wow it's clearer yes if you do that for like sing the song three times through and blow bubbles it's like amazing I do blow bubbles every single morning. Not this morning because I couldn't get Coke on Fountain. Wait. I got it from a glass bottle at the hotel. And that you don't, you hate that. No, I hated that. Yeah, I hated it. You need it from a fountain.

38:50I need it from 7-Eleven or similar. Yeah. Or Wendy's, Die Hard Diet Coke. Oh, Wendy's sounds so good. It does. What's your Wendy's order for those that don't know? Oh my gosh, well, I love the nuggets. They can't sound best nuggets ever. If you get your nuggets anywhere else, it's sad. Because then you're just getting grease balls with a little chicken inside and that's gross. there's a difference. I like eating everywhere. I'm a connoisseur. Um, Dave's single burger is unbelievable. They have all the accoutrements on that, on that burger. Like it's like the perfect mayo, lettuce, onion, everything blend.

39:25That's like next level. So like the burger is so good. The tendies are amazing. Their cookies are supreme. How are you not the face of Wendy's? I am. You're the face of Wendy's right now. Kind of. Yeah. I have five years. I have like commercials with them four times a year. Oh, that's amazing. And you have your Wendy's cash? Yes. I like love Wendy's. It's like my favorite place to go every single day I'm there. Like they know me by name. Right. I don't even have to like, I drive through, they know my order already. They hear our voice. They see our car roll up and they just know. Does John love Wendy's as much as you love Wendy's?

39:59Oh yeah, John's there too. How did you and John meet? Okay, so John went on a Mormon mission and his dad went on one, to John's adopted he has like a crazy like adoption story um and he was adopted by a great family his dad went on a mission to Paris where you're going yes yes and missions were really long back then now they're like two years I think it was like three years back then or two and a half um his dad's like 80 and um John thought he was going to go to Paris and so my sister you know we're in New York we have no idea who this John Barlow guy is obviously um never met and so She's dreaming of going to Paris on her mission, and you don't get to pick where you go.

40:39She gets called to Vegas, and I think she wanted to be like, I'm not going. John got the same call. He grew up all over Germany, Florida, Texas, California, Chicago. His dad was an exec with IBM. Then when he got called to Vegas, he was like, are you kidding me? I think he was like, all my friends are going somewhere cool. I'm going to Vegas. so they met on their mission and she we would hear about john barlow non-stop to the point where i was like i hate john barlow and i haven't even met him wait why just like hearing like this cute guy john so cute and he's like perfect and he's amazing and blah blah blah blah and so i was at byu she came out she finished her mission was at byu john was off his mission at byu and one night she's like let's go over to john barlow's house i'm like i hate john barlow like i don't want to go And she's like, he has a cute friend.

41:30You should come. So I bought ice cream, brought it over. The friend annoyed me so bad. I literally got my ice cream out of the freezer and walked home. Because I was like, I can't stand being around this guy. And she was, like, crushing on John, but he didn't like her. So he went on, like, one date. And, like, I think they kissed once. Like, nothing, like, serious. And he was like, we're not meant to be together. He actually got married to somebody else. And I remember, like, he sent, like, an announcement. to like our house. And I remember opening it and thinking I could have married him and just throwing the announcement like on the bed.

42:06And like, you know, seven years later I run into John in Utah and my sister's like, you guys, we should all go to a baseball game. And I'm like, I'm not, I didn't want to go because I didn't like him because he didn't like my sister. Some weird, I don't know, loyalty thing, you know, with your family. So we ended up going to a baseball game and we started hanging out. We were just like platonic best friends. And one day I'm like, I love you. And he's like, I love you too. And we've been together for 25 years. Wow. Yeah, it's been a long time. So what was BYU like? Amazing. When I was there, it was like the best school on earth.

42:43Like the best school on earth. Could you break the rules and drink? Everybody broke the rules. Okay, right? Yeah. Like everyone. Everybody broke the rules. Like I lived off campus. I lived in like the most killer townhouse and then moved into the sickest condo. we went to Vegas every weekend some girl had a hookup down there so we drive this guy Jordan's like sick cars down on Friday night come back Sunday night before school and like spend like the weekend laying out by the pool like I don't even know what my friends were doing I still don't want to know what they were doing we'd go to other frat parties for other colleges and like would anyone else try to like get you guys in trouble with the school no never okay no I mean I didn't hang out with any of the Utah kids.

43:26Like all of my friends were from like Boston, Connecticut, New York, LA, like San Francisco, Texas. Like none of my friends were born and raised in Utah. It was like such a separation between like the born and raised kids and then the like kids from out of town. Lisa, what are you therapist about today? Oh my gosh, so many things. Tell me everything. I hate showers that don't have really good wands. Like water pressure? No, like, you know, the wand to like, like if you stay, like the first thing I do when I check into a hotel is I check to make sure the shower has like really good wand system and like jets.

44:06Do you? Like a, what do you mean a jet? Like, you know how they have the sprayers, like for your body? Like on the side of the ship? Yeah, on the side. Yeah. And like a wand. So like. Oh, yeah. I'm not a wand person. I care about water pressure. my water pressure in my shower is atrocious. Is it bad? So bad. Wait, what? Why aren't we replacing this? I don't know. I need help. I don't know what to do. I think we can get you help today. Somebody like, Jake, showerhead with good pressure. It's like sprinkling down. You have to call the plumber. Okay, the plumber? Yeah, you have to call a plumber.

44:39Like immediately, you need a new showerhead and they need to like check your hot water heaters. Okay. You need multiple. Okay, so you're like with showers as Meredith is to baths. Oh yeah, I'm neurotic about my showers. Like if they don't have a wand, I like want to check out immediately. I don't get like, you know, like some Ritz Carlton's don't even have a wand. And you're like, who's not updating your bathrooms? Right. Like that kind of stuff makes me really mad. I 100 % get that. Yeah.

45:06This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking dot, yeah! The other day I was on my phone and I was talking to my best friend, Alice, and we were looking at old photos of when we were in Santa Barbara together. And it made me really, really, really want to go back. So Alice and I are now planning a trip to go back to Santa Barbara with Booking.com. We both have very, very, very specific needs. We like to make sure that we're able to walk because I can't drive. So it's always nice to be able to walk into town. I need air conditioning. We both need air conditioning, a lot of it.

45:40And so these are things that we are able to put into Booking.com to help us find the best place to stay. We can also rent a car on booking.com. We can make the trip full rounded. And Alice and I need all the help we can get. Every trip Alice and I take, we always use booking.com because it makes it the easiest possible way to book the trip. It helps us really get from the idea to the actual destination, which is sometimes difficult. So we are going to go on booking.com and find the perfect place to stay at in Santa Barbara because we are not just letting this be an idea. Go on, book that trip.

46:16It's easy at booking.com. Booking.yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. You know, I went into the season and I'm like, this is what I did for myself that I think made me feel so good. I was so enabled. They just let us do what we needed to do to like tell our story. And that for me was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I'm so excited to see this season. I loved it. And, you know, people might hate me and I don't care. I just was like, I've never cared. But, like, now I really genuinely don't. And I just feel like, you know, I got accused of doing so many things I've never done.

46:57I wouldn't even think to do. Like, my brain doesn't even work that way. And then to, like, have the freedom to just be me, be her, you know. Ella Langley said it best, just be her. Felt so good. take me back to that boat trip when everyone was accusing you of shit and you went out on the deck and called john and now one of the most famous scenes in salt lake history i was so hurt yeah like i that those were such genuine feelings and cries of hurt and um i talked about it at the reunion it didn't make it into the show i mean there's so much only so much time but we you know to get to a destination like Kenwin we were there early so you stay on the island for two days before you got on the boat so Heather was having a hard time we took Heather to the tiki bar I got a golf cart picked her up snuck her out of her room we were like doing karaoke and having the time of our life before we got on the boat so I was shocked when she's like you're the source I'm like I'm the source you're the one that has all the issues right me I I have issues but I there I don't care about, I don't care enough about him to raise him.

48:09Like, you're the one that cares more. You're the one that was crying. You're the one we took out of your bedroom. And, like, so how am I the source? And when Bronwyn actually got on the boat, she accused Whitney of being the one that leaked the stuff about her. She's like, I was told by some blogger, it's like a well-known blogger, that it's Whitney. And so I was defending Whitney. And then Whitney turned it on me, and then Heather turned it on me that night. and that trip was awful for me like I I was like literally by myself like I felt so isolated how do you deal with the fact that Meredith doesn't defend you in that situation Meredith I understand her so she it's not like we grew up so differently that like I I do what I need to do and Meredith can do what she needs to do I'm like I said it at the reunion i'm like i can i can go fucking solo like i can i can lisa barlow yeah i can take i can speak for myself i can take care of myself i'm fine um and you know sometimes my feeling you know there have been times when my feeling gets hurt and i talk through them but i think for me i've i have just learned to do this in a way that feels so comfortable for me now and like so like like i'm at peace with so much that um you know i can interact the way i want to interact and get what i need from it yeah yeah does that make sense that makes sense yeah that makes sense you can't i can't put expectations on people where like it's like when people are like you get so defensive and i'm like well i'm defensive because i'm mad and because that's offensive and you know and so So for me, I've just like, you know, just figured things out and stuff.

50:01But I can't, Meredith is going to always be Meredith and I'm always going to be me. And I think, and I think I like, you know, one thing that I told John last week in the car that I really need from the show more is individuality. Because I, I value individuality. like I think it's so fun to have our fans that are individuals that align with us and feel us and like you know like you and I have like a natural like connection and like we get each other in such a natural way and I'm like when you have that with someone it's so great but I don't want to skin you and wear you I just love you for you and you same with me and I think like on the show when you're in a smaller group I think like for me one thing I've really craved and like work really hard at is just like seeing how people are real individuals and like what I love about them as an individual if we're getting along or not getting along and I just really want to just be me.

50:58Yeah. Like that's my power is like just being me. Be her. Yeah. Be her. And I think when I feel like that's jeopardized that's when I'm like the most defensive. Yeah. And then the show gets hard. Yeah. Well I'm so grateful that you had such a good experience during season seven. I don't know how that it's going to be but I had so much fun doing it. Who fucking cares. I never get mad at the edits because you can fix it at the reunion. I don't prep for the reunion. I just have to show up and remember. I either have to remember how I felt or how I would feel, and I'm fine. Right. I have a really good memory, too.

51:28Yeah. Oh, you do? Which helps. Oh, yeah. What's something you can memorize that other people can't? I don't know if I can remember things, but Meredith is always like, if you want to know what happened, just ask Lisa because she'll remember it in detail. Right. And I pick up on weird details, too. Right. Like interesting details, things I think are interesting. Manny is the number one fan of this show besides me. Do you have any questions for Lisa before we get into the Tell Me What's Wrongs? Every time I hear you speak in any interview or like any little clip I see online, you seem like you have such self-love and like such confidence.

52:06And I know this is like kind of like a broad question and also I feel like a very like common question, but I really like feel it from you how did you like cultivate that how do you have such self-love and like do you have any advice for someone that doesn't yeah not me a friend yeah yeah um you know when I wrote baby gorgeous um you're gonna see the process on the show and like I I cried throughout it because oh I don't want to get emotional hold on I'm gonna I always bite the inside of my cheeks so I don't I used to think emotion and crying was weakness it's a superpower superpower all of our most successful friends like billionaire friends that have sold and I'm not bragging I'm not dropping names I could but my closest friends they all cry when they talk about something they care about because and you can't be successful if you can't feel like I don't want to be around someone that doesn't have feelings like just done where like if you have no if you're on a permanent beta blocker like not not one you need but like one that you just don't feel it's sad and it's like draining but when I was writing baby gorgeous I sat with Jed and Jake and I'm like I'm gonna give you a pep talk because everybody goes through it like you're gonna see John goes through it and John is like handsome and bold and strong and witty everybody goes through something where they're like jarred like where their self-confidence is jarred right or their like ability to see who they actually are is jarred and so I'm like I'm gonna give you a pep talk um and I just started talking and it became the lyrics of the song and I was like your energy I was you know giving it to my two friends like that I'm co-writing this song with and I'm like your energy is magic if you feel it happens you have the power to like make anything happen and we turned it into a song but I think since I was a little girl um I'll never forget going to this girl Michelle's house and her mom had me over I swear just to tell me how ugly I was and like just to be mean I was in fourth grade and like I'll never forget it I remember being that little what dress I had on what her mother was wearing what room we were in the yellow ugly pillows on the couch and and feeling sorry for her mother that she felt like Like she had to put a little, like I knew I was a kid and I knew she should know better.

54:27I felt sorry for her mom. And I still feel it to this day that the only way she could feel good about her child was to make me feel like shit. And I had another girl, Tina, in high school. Her mom did the same thing in ninth grade. We were all at their summer house. And she was, the mom, relentlessly, every chance she got. And I just put up a wall and was like, I am better than this. like for real and not better than people I'm better than this like and it just doesn't impact me and I think like you know I give a lot of it to God I'm like seriously like love God I have like such a good relationship with God like when I said I'm important to God like everyone should feel important to God like you should feel that you should 100 % feel it like I matter what I think matters how I feel matters I matter and I think when people get so caught in the chaos of like life in the world you forget that like it's easy to forget like oh my gosh I matter you know even with baby gorgeous it's so fun like one girl's like sent me a video and she's like I'm crying listening to like the lyrics it makes me like a little emotional because I'm like and I'm like people should feel good about themselves like do you know what i mean it's like you should wake up and feel good like it's special my you know what i follow a lot of on tiktok my nephew has um he um has their cerebral palsy and it's not bad and i watch all these kids with cerebral palsy like talking about their story and my nephews isn't like yeah thanks jake you're like what what do I do with these um but I watch like my nephew and like the struggles he's had like I remember him saying like oh my gosh no one's ever gonna love me and I'm like and he's so gorgeous and it didn't affect his speech it affected his arm when he's born and he's so cute and I watch all these kids on tiktok talking about their cerebral palsy and like how it's hard for them to talk and they're like I'm brilliant inside but I have a hard way expressing it and I'm like that's so beautiful and like they find beauty in everything and I think you said to find like you know God made all of us like some people have harder hardships they have health issues they have physical impairments or deformities and stuff but there's beauty in everybody and everything and I think like when you start to feel that about yourself it's hard you have to remind yourself like it's a beautiful thing and I've just like never allowed other people's thoughts about me when I know me to change that that's why like in my song it's like people think you're lost out in the dark but you're just shining like in the stars like it's really powerful and I really wanted people to hear that and like just get that in your head because even if you don't really hear the words at first it's just like a catchy bop then you really start to hear the lyrics and it's like no like you are like people that judge you online chain they don't know you they don't know your magic they don't know your energy they don't get to experience what we all get to experience with you that you're like funny and witty and charming and cool and like everything they just like want to take from you and then it's like easy when you learn like no you don't get to take from me i i this is beautiful and special about me and we all like the weirdest things make some of us the coolest people right and and i think it's just like embracing all of that and like understanding that and like i am so much more accepting of other people because of that like i feel like i you know i don't really look at other people's weaknesses as weaknesses i just am like oh that's like that's rough i'm sad for you or like you know or like you're never gonna get a piece of me again like you know what i mean but i think it's i think it's i think some people have to work harder on it but it's also like allowing your mind to open up to the point where you're just like that doesn't matter it doesn't matter yeah i matter i matter to me i know who i am and everyone has special gifts too like not everyone gets the same ones we all get special ones oh that makes me think of the song in such a different light yeah like it really has so much depth it's like a good pride song too you know what i mean and it's like don't let anyone tell you who you are don't let anyone mess with your what you're like entitled to and what you deserve you know and people are going to judge you but it doesn't matter and like this way it's like we don't walk we strut you know like you can go your own way if you have something bad to say and just remember that if you read something negative just be like go your own way and you're just baby gorgeous yeah you don't belong here baby gorgeous some people write me things to me and i'm like oh you have bad energy bad energy You're not baby gorgeous.

59:22Your energy is really bad. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. And I just like, and like, I hate being like a crybaby about it, but I think like so many people need to be reminded. Like I want to write a book for kids on confidence. Oh my God. That would be amazing. Just like a little cool book. That would be amazing. About like how to build your confidence and like where to be confident, you know, because I think like, it's like something we all need to be reminded of. Our world is mean. It used to not be this mean because you didn't have to hide behind Cheeto stained fingers and like a keyboard like you had to say things to people's faces you had to see their reactions you had to see the hurt on their faces you had to deal with the repercussions to your actions so you would feel bad like I remember everyone I was mean to right and like I regret it and like feel bad I mean I 10 years ago I made apologies to people where I'm like I said this I don't know if you remember but I'll never forget it and I feel bad you know you like you took ownership of oh yeah because I'm like it was wrong because you remember their reaction and now everyone can just hit send and forget about it but they they don't like the way it makes them feel when someone's mean to them but they have no problem doing it to somebody else but i think like i like love john will always tell me he's like you'll always come home and say oh my gosh i met this person and i'm obsessed with him you're gonna be obsessed with him and he's like you find all these like crazy unique things about them and then when i meet him i'm like i see them differently or like I'm like oh I would have never picked up on that and I think it's just like finding that in other people and then it makes you love yourself more in the process I really love I and I know you said that like you didn't want to cry but I think when you cry like it makes you human it makes you so much more human because like a lot of people like see reality I always feel like people see reality television stars as characters but it's like Like at the end of the day, it's real television and that's what you were saying.

1:01:20Oh yeah, it's real life. It's real life. Yeah. And so every time when I see you cry on television, I feel it and I know that's real. Oh yeah. And like I said too, I used to think it was such a weakness. I'd be so embarrassed if I cried. And I'm like, no, it's like being in tune with your feelings about yourself. but I think it's like I think people I think you guys are gonna love watching John's story this year too I'm excited he's never been this involved the show and it was like so good for us I think as individuals and for our marriage I think it was so good are you nervous for his how he is gonna like receive I think he's gonna hate it he's gonna hate it but I'm but I'm like we're so like obsessed we're like in our own little bubble like i like last night i had to sleep at the hotel without him and i we cross legs when we sleep like we're locked and it was like i'm like oh my gosh i missed your leg on mine and we don't have a perfect marriage i mean we fight like last season i thought when i watched that one scene of us having lunch when we filmed it it didn't bother me at all i didn't think twice about it when i watched it i was like do you love me right like i literally was like you don't love me anymore you would have never quipped at me if you love me I'm like, John, you don't love me anymore.

1:02:41He's like, what are you talking about? I always talk to you like that. And I'm like, no, but it felt different when I watched it back. It, like, broke my heart. Like, I cried for three weeks. What's it like watching yourself back like that? Like, do you come out of your own body and, like, view yourself as not? When I watch, that's the only scene. My hot mic moment took me out. Yeah. I mean, like, I mean, I. You were like, oh, shit. I mean, for like six months after, when Ralph Fiennes was me on Watch What Happens Live, quoting the whole thing, I died. I was like, do I laugh? Do I cry? What do I do?

1:03:17Is this like an honor? Like, it's Ralph Fiennes. It is an honor. It's an honor. And it's great television. It was raw and human, and we all vent. That's the best way to get it all out and move on. Yeah. Yeah. That's why when I saw that hot mic moment, I was like, fuck. Now I'm glad it happened, because I think me and Meredith are in such a better place and like such a real authentic place. And so that was good. I mean, like I would never want to hurt her, but like we got to like a really deep level of friendship because of that. Right. And then like last season when I watched that scene with John, like at the reunion when I'm talking about it, and I'm like, no, I cried for like three weeks, and everyone's like, it didn't seem that bad.

1:03:56And I'm like, no, but I know my partner. Right. Yeah, so yeah, it was bad. That was horrible. Did you feel gaslit by like the woman at the reunion? Yeah, when they were telling me how I felt. Yeah. Yeah, beyond. That's why I was like, I'm not saying. I mean, you guys can't hear everything I say because it gets edited down, but I kept saying, I'm not talking. I'm not saying another word. You guys are telling me how I feel. I'm telling you what's real, and you're telling me how I feel. We saw Meredith say to you, you said what you needed to say. You're good. You don't need to keep fighting back against everyone.

1:04:27Yeah, all of them. Yeah. So it was wild. Wild. Wild. I kind of miss when it was you, Meredith, and Heather, though. Do you remember that you guys had that? Am I wrong? Didn't they have, like, a threesome? Well, we were good for, like, a few months. But I just think it's, like, I think some. No, I don't. I'm totally good. Yeah. Yeah, I'm totally good. I know how I'm friends with Heather. I know how I'm friends with everybody. Like, I know. Like, yeah. Okay, are you ready to do the tell me what's wrong? Yes. These are just the pussies right in. Okay, I love this. And they tell us what's wrong and we give them advice.

1:05:01Okay, I love this. And I think you'll give some really good advice. I hope so. I have fallen in love with my roommate and don't know what to do. We're both gay and she knows I have feelings for her, but says it would make things complicated. How do I go about living with her? Do I keep pretending that everything she does is a sign or do I have to disassociate and neglect these feelings? It's not a sign. Like everything she does is her just being kind. It's not a sign. You need to get a new roommate because this is painful for you. Yeah. Yeah, this is so painful. You have to move. Right. Get a new roommate.

1:05:34I kind of agree. It's like you said you're in love with her, and there's no coming back from that. No. No. She knows, and it's not reciprocated. And it's only going to hurt you. Yeah, it's going to hurt. And you know what? It's a blessing in disguise because that means it's not your person. You'll find your person. We all have to have one big heartbreak before we can find the love of our life, for sure. maybe even two big heartbreaks so that you can really appreciate like the person you end up with i remember sitting at a nail salon and this girl was like trying to find a sign in everything with this guy to the point where i finally turned around i'm like he doesn't like you he's not calling you because he doesn't like you like you need to move on like i'm listening to the whole thing there's your friend is trying to be nice to you right now he does not like you right men that like girls or girls that like girls or guys that like guys show it yeah yeah if they like you back you'd be together.

1:06:29Yeah, you wouldn't have to question it. And there's somebody amazing waiting for you that's going to appreciate your love, want to reciprocate your love, and you're going to be like, thank God that didn't work out. Right. Yes, trust me. It's always thank God that didn't work out. Thank God it didn't work out. Thank God for unanswered prayers. Right. Yes, for sure. It's part of a country song. Yes. I can't remember which one, but I know it is. I want to make like a Nixon 5 rhyme with Baby Gorgeous. Oh, let's do it. Like Lisa Barlow Hive, Baby Gorgeous Vibe, Knicks in five. Ooh, I love it. Right?

1:07:01Yes. I just came up with that right now. Ooh, that was good. Yeah, I just came up with that. Yes. Yes. Lisa Barlow Hive, Baby Gorgeous Vibe, Knicks in five. Yes. Are you a Knicks fan? Love the Knicks. Our friend Jordan Clarkson plays for the Knicks. I'm obsessed with him. He played for Utah. He is such a good human being. I love his whole entire family. and great dad, like, loved them. And when he went to the Knicks, I was like, if we were going to lose you from the Jazz to anyone, thank God you went home. Right. Diehard Knicks fan, diehard. I mean, being in the city for the Knicks with Jazz. Yeah, it's who you are.

1:07:36I cannot believe you were there. I, like, literally, you've had the best few weeks. It was. Like, Jake. I know. That's why you have haters. But I had a great fucking time. I loved watching you have a great time. I had a great fucking time. I live vicariously through you in Europe and New York. You deserve all of this. Thank you. Oh, yeah, when you're front row at the Dior show. I've never been to Paris, so I'm like. Blog every fucking second of this trip. Right? Every fucking second. Okay. I would be like, I'm at Dior. Hi, bitches. Yeah. For everything. Yeah. They're going to hate either way, so.

1:08:08My boyfriend loves his mom almost to an overbearing degree. Weird.

1:08:16Done. Break up. I just started to notice this and it's all fine for now, but what if we're to get married and I'm his second favorite woman in his life? Like what? They have a great relationship and they're best friends, so it's just weird for me when they spend more time together than with me. I mean, red flag all over the place. I love my children more than my, I would give them my organs. You need my kidneys, they're yours. No, weird. Yeah. Say goodbye. Goodbye. Yes. Just break up. We're done. We're done. Yeah. My family misplaced my birth certificate. it like they just fucking lost it I needed it recently and my mom was like oh you know what where is that and it's just gone so I technically have no real proof of citizenship I looked it up and you can replace it but my real issue is how the fuck were they so careless with something so important like it feels like I'm invisible okay you're not invisible how many kids does your mom have maybe you're the only one you know what maybe my mom misplaces stuff on the regular on the regular and my mom literally when I was 17 gave me my social security card my birth certificate and said it's no longer my responsibility because if it's mine it's going to disappear right yes and she's an organized neat free and my my house smells like bleach when you walk into it so we're super clean super organized and she could barely keep track of my birth certificate you're not invisible that you're in your head about this everybody loves you you know what is so cool something good is going to come from this like the journey to get your birth certificate is going to open some other crazy door that you're going to be like oh thank god i lost my birth certificate right because stuff like that happens to me all day i'll be like where is my one goyard wallet and then i'll be looking for it and i'll find five other good things right yes this is like a little magic thing that's happening for you like my parents lose shit all the time for me like my dad forgets my birthday all the time my dad calls me my brother's name all the time like i feel like we're in like this era where people are like helicopter parenting their kids hard and like they know where everything is and if i called my parents right now and said where's my birth certificate they'd be like i don't know they're like i don't know because i don't know when i would need that and you're very visible yes yes yes you're everyone loves you honey you're good well you know what if no one loves me at least lisa barlow loves me and that's what's the most important i love love you i love you more cheers i loved loved love my best friend from childhood and I used to talk every single day, even after I moved away years and years ago.

1:10:43We've completely drifted, which happens. I got busy with college and my career and he stayed in the town. He always said he wanted to do that. I've tried calling him a couple of times recently and he isn't picking up, which is very unlike him. I just learned through a mutual friend recently that apparently he thinks I became this asshole New York hot shot and I'm icing him out. How do I tell him I've just been busy? Will you pick up the phone and call him or text him? If he's not picking up, I think you should write him a letter. Like handwritten? Yeah, handwrite a letter and just be like, I miss you, bitch, or something.

1:11:17Yeah. For real. Just write him a letter. And I just think people, it sounds like it's his own insecurities. I think he's projecting. He's projecting. He doesn't want to stay in the town. Because he stayed in the town. You went out and did other things and moved on. and instead of being like, like, I love this life for you, enjoy that I like kept like, you know, stay true to what I wanted. It's just a projection. Yeah. Most things are. You guys got to bump into each other. Yeah. I mean, if you, if the friendship is real, it'll come back around. There's no way that friendship's not real. Yeah. Like when you're friends that long, you just have to see each other.

1:11:55Right. That's what I always say about me. Me and my best friend Julia fight all the time. And then you just need to see each other. All we do is we see each other and it's like, oh, we're fine. Yeah, we love each other. Why were we mad? Right, why were we mad? Like, we literally screamed, cried. That's why I'm like, I love housewives so much. I'm like, this is my life. Hi, Jake and special guest. It feels like I'm the only one in my life who is trying to keep relationships alive. When I stop trying or don't show initiative, the relationship dies. Am I the problem or just unlucky with friends? No, you're special.

1:12:25um i think that people that are so amazing usually have one to three friends it's not you just keep vibing keep being you you're not the problem they're not meant for you you're rejecting them energetically um you know quality is better than quantity and you're not the problem you just haven't found your people yet yes yes enough said like the most special people have very small circles. I completely agree. Yeah, you don't have a big circle if you're like... I used to have the biggest fucking circle and I was so run ragged and I'm like, I literally... They were sucking you dry. I'm like, I need...

1:13:04My body was like, literally giving up on me. Yes. My best friend and I have a lot of fun together, but she will randomly make negative comments about me. Like bringing up my ex or things I am insecure about to people we hang out with. She's not your friend. Right? Yeah, bye. Bye. I don't have a ton of friends, so I don't know whether to drop her or not and it sucks because she's really fucking funny but always uses me as the butt of the joke. Nope. Nope. Bye. Not your friend. Not your friend. Not your friend. Not your friend. Nope. Yeah. I mean, there's like a million quotes I could send that girl.

1:13:34Right. Or whoever wrote that in. I have a quote above my bed. My favorite quote. Manny painted it for me. She's a painter. Aw. Yeah. Do I need one too? No, she's very talented. She painted a painting for my parents. Oh. Yes. Misty. Yeah, she's very talented. I love it. It says, but yeah. It's, you need a quote. And Lisa can send you quotes. Yes. What's a quote you would give her right now? Manny or this girl? This girl. Oh, I was like, one to paint or one to live off? You know, I think it's the thing about the eagle flying. You know, like when, you know, the only way to take out an eagle, there's another bird that like, what is it, the crow, will attach itself to the eagle, and the eagle doesn't react it just flies higher and then the crow like falls off you know like just fly higher just keep being yourself like you know don't worry about other people but someone someone that's being passive aggressive to you under the guise of humor does not like you they're jealous of you it's a trigger um and I think that person needs to figure out what you trigger in them but you need to know that you are a trigger for this person because if you weren't they wouldn't be being passive aggressive with nasty comments about you right a lot I don't know what the quote is right now but just keep flying higher and don't let the crow bring you down yeah don't let the crow bring you down I had been best friends with this guy for four years we hung out all the time facetimed every night and told each other everything but a few months ago everything changed when he started dating this girl he would spend all of his time texting and calling her well That makes sense because they're dating.

1:15:15Yes. And he didn't tell me that they were dating until I confronted him about it. Oh, so you're in love with him. Now he ignores me, doesn't tell me anything, and I've turned into the evil girl best friend. He's moved on. I think she may be. He has a new best friend. Respectfully, she was a little in love with him. They didn't want to admit it. And, right? What do you guys think? No, 100%. Yeah. I think you have a crush. You're Twitterpated by him. You're what? Twitterpated. Like, you know when you get those butterflies in your stomach? Oh, I love that word. When you're twitterpated. I love that twitterpated feeling.

1:15:50I still have it with John. Aww. But like, I think she probably, crushing hard. Yeah. Move on. Move on. Yeah. I'm bad at sex and it's becoming a real issue. I was a little bit of a late bloomer, but I'm 25 and should maybe have a better handle on this. During one night stand or hookups, I never know what to say or what to do after, and I'm just really uncoordinated in general. I have an active sex life too so is it just like practice makes perfect no no practices not make perfect wait so what do you think she should do I think you need to just find your person and get into a rhythm okay you need a better rhythm and you'll find it with your person but practice doesn't make perfect because then you're just having sex you're not having sex because you want to listen I tell my kids this all the time like not all the time but like when we talk about like sex and stuff I'm like there is nothing better than having intimacy with your person when you love someone everything's so much better like I'm like I'm probably gonna sound weird right now I'm so anti-pornography I've told my kids since they were little I told Jack pornography is bad it'll ruin your brain it's worse than drugs and it does and like as he got older I'm like Jack you don't ever want to look at porn or get addicted to porn because you will never have great sex if you watch porn or anything and I think it's not about with this girl in her situation it's not about um quantity and like being like I need to be good at sex you can't be great at sex with someone you're just meeting and practicing on like great sex comes from having a rhythm and being in love and like feeling someone and knowing their body and appreciating their body and like the energy you guys have together that's like great like that's when you know you're great at sex like you're not bad this person is not bad you're not bad at sex right you just you're not having you're having sex with the wrong people like save yourself for the right one and then it will just work yes yes it'll just work you get great advice i hope so you should have like an advice podcast call them one day dr ruth like yes no but it's true though it works and like um i think a lot of people put crazy pressures on themselves i'm like what is good sex like What is bad sex?

1:18:05If you're having drunk sex, it might be good in the moment, and then you might wake up and you hate it. But having that quality person and saving yourself for someone where it's that intense, euphoric, Twitter-pated, amazing feeling is so much better than randos. You're not going to have good sex, and you're going to think you suck. But you don't suck. You do not suck. You just need to find your person. Yeah, it's impossible to suck at sex. Really? Yeah, I think so. Okay. I think if you're into the person, if it's like a stranger and you're like, don't care. I think it's like there's so many extraneous factors that I think when you and your person are together, it's impossible to have bad sex.

1:18:45Love that. When it's your person. Agreed. I haven't found my person yet, but I will. Okay. I will. Do we like anybody crushing? I hope. I want to find a Paris lover. You're just, it's going to be kismet. Okay. Please put it out there for me. Put it out there for me. I told my friend Julia, she got married. We were at Chaconis like four years ago. Oh, Pastor I started in the world. Yeah, and she was like, I'm never going to find anyone. I'm like, I don't even know what's going on. And she's so gorgeous. She's so smart and successful. I go, just talk openly to God all the way home. She was living in Santa Monica.

1:19:18I'm like, tell God what you want. She did the whole way home. And I'm like, just keep telling God every day until he gives you your person. She had her person. It was like six weeks later. So you just need to put it out there. Yeah, just put it out there. All you have to do is keep saying, I'm going to find my person. I'm going to find who I should be with. In Paris. Yes, in Paris. Okay. It's Paris, right? Yep. Yes. Yes. We need a Parisian. I'm going to text you updates. I'm going to FaceTime you with updates. Oh, I'm going to FaceTime you. Oh, my gosh. We don't text enough. We need to text more.

1:19:49I know. Send me video messages. I will. We'll send video messages every day. Oh, you have to. I love getting, sometimes I get video messages from Lisa and I feel really special. That's how I send you messages. Yes. And one time Mandy and I were watching Salt Lake And I was like should I just call Lisa And Mandy was like no way And I was like swear I think she'll pick up And you did And Mandy was freaking out I will always pick up for you unless I'm in a position where I can't I will always pick up Lisa what did we learn today That we love each other so much Yes we do and Baby Gorgeous is low-key a pride anthem Yeah it is It's an anthem for self And I think it's a mantra that everyone should live by And that you're going to be having the time you are having the summer of your life do you realize this?

1:20:34no I don't and I need to wait do you realize this like think about it you were at the Knicks game right the most epic game of all time of our like generation yeah you were there a week before that where were you? on a super yacht in the Mediterranean yeah your life is good go ahead we learned that your life is great and you deserve it all thank you yes you deserve it all and you deserve it serve it all thank you I love you bye pussies