Session 144: Owen Thiele Returns

25:11But it's not like rich people bunkers. It's like bunkers. Just bunkers. And like there's like a whole system and it's been like 200 years. And if you say I want to go outside, then you have to go outside and you die. And then. Wait, what? No, it's crazy. Rebecca Ferguson's in it. Have you seen Dune? I'm so sorry. Wait, neither have I. I think we have to see Dune. There's like five of them. There's two. Sorry. And we have to see them before the third comes out because apparently the third's just going to be like blah blah blah. The third is going to be huge. Do you know they based Star Wars off Dune?

25:49They based Star Wars off Dune? Dune was a book? Dune was a book, a very old book, and they based Star Wars off Dune. Is this true, Nolan? This is 100 % true. I had no... What? Uh-huh. It's so funny. Once you put Zendaya in a movie, in a reboot, it'll always work. Always. Well, has she been in any other reboots? Nope. No, but do you know what I mean? Yeah. Zendaya in anything. Zendaya. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Isn't it funny that if you go into the movies right now, Zendaya is in every single one? She's in the drama. She's in Spider-Man. She's in Dune. She's in the Odyssey. She's the movie star.

26:24Sorry, I want to see her. I think she's a very modern day, like, Julia Roberts. She is. Ooh, I love that. Do you know what I mean? I love that. Julia Roberts in the Odyssey. I would love to see it. Who would she be a modern day? Like who, like what movie star could you relate her to? That you'd be like, oh, that makes sense that they're in quite literally everything. Like Meryl Streep. But I guess that's like Meryl Streep now. Yeah. Was Meryl Streep in everything back then? No. How old is Zendaya? 28? I am, if she's 28, I'm jumping. How old is Zendaya? 29. Literally, thank God. I'm not kidding.

26:59It changes it. It changes it. But have you seen a video of her from when she was like 14 doing Shake It Up? And they're like, what are your plans this summer? And Zendaya's like, I'm going to go work on my craft. And that's why she's Zendaya. Sorry. She's, yeah, we should have known. We should have known. There were telltale signs. She was showing up. She was showing up to everything. She was working her ass off. She was, you know the song Replay? Of course I know Replay. Da, da, on a replay. That's a great song. Don't listen to you all day. Come on. I love that. Why didn't she, like, pursue that?

27:32I can imagine her MSG being like, and this one's called Replay. And then the frog goes, ah! Do you know what I mean? In your mind, when did Zendaya become Zendaya? First season of Euphoria. I completely agree. Right? I completely agree. What did she do before that? She was in Spider-Man. Oh. But Spider-Man wasn't, in my mind, I'm sorry to every, Marvel head out there. I've seen every Marvel movie. I'd like die for it. I wasn't like locked into Marvel really until Endgame came out. And Spider-Man for me took off with like home. Far from home, no way home. Homecoming, far from home, no way home.

28:14So far from home is what took it off for me. And that was after Euphoria. So Euphoria for me is, and Euphoria was 2018, 2019. So Euphoria for me is what made Zendaya Zendaya. And when did you start working with La Roche? 2011. 11, so 15 years, when she was 14. I don't believe that. She was working with La Roche on Shake It Up. Their very first red carpet project together was at the premiere of Justin Bieber, Never Say Never. Oh, my God. I just saw her smiling on that carpet. Yeah, that carpet's going viral again. I just saw it. She was like this. I just saw it. And she kept moving. Speaking of red carpets, I'm very upset that I can't make the adults one.

28:54I'm really upset. just so we could hang out. I know. And then you texted me. Do you like being on a red carpet? I love it. Only if people are taking my photo. Well, they always are taking your photo. No, that is not true. I've been on red carpets where it's, the most humbling thing in the world is when they write your name on the thingy and the photographers, every single photographer, turns their camera and takes a photo of the name and then goes back. Just to make sure because they have no idea. So I did this brilliant thing. Are you ready for this story? Tell me, please. Okay. So I walked onto the red carpet.

29:24this was three years ago obviously no one knew knew me no one knows me now but no really no one knew me then no no seriously so i walk on and i'm like you know what this is so embarrassing that i'm just gonna make friends with these photographers so we just start having a conversation i'm like oh i love your earrings she's like oh my grandma got them for me i'm like and then she's like she just passed i'm like may she wait let's talk about this are you feeling okay now that she's gone she's like you know what it's been tough and i'm like totally and then we I locked it. And the next person, I was like, oh, I love your shirt.

29:54She was like, oh, my God, this? You know what? I made that. You know? So it was like very, I really got in there with that. So now, recently, I went to a carpet, actually with you, the Shards. The Shards. And it's so funny because every one of those photographers I know have a personal relationship with. So I'm actually the most famous person on the carpet. They're like, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, my grandma. And they're screaming, taking photos of me. Kaya Gerber should watch out. Yeah. Kaya Gerber comes on. They're like, but to me, I have personal relationship. Have you ever seen Kaya on a carpet?

30:27It's not like anything I've ever seen. No, it's unbelievable what she does on that carpet. She walks on. There's no name that they need to take a photo of. Well, of course. The name is the face, babe. She walks on. She goes, and it's, of course. It's insane. And I'm like. It's insane. It's insane. I have that too, but because they think I care about their grandparents. But you do. No, I deeply care. But do you know what I mean? And it's so fun to feel famous for a second. And then you realize, oh, it's because ultimately all these photographers have a personal relationship with you. I don't know if you guys know this about me.

31:02I feel like you probably do. I love merch. I love concert merch. Like when I fall in love with a band or an artist, immediately I want to own merch. Hence my Carly Rae Jepsen merch that I'm wearing right now. And I could sell this on Depop, but I won't because it is very special to me. but this is an example of something you could find on Depop. It is the best place to find secondhand clothing and merch. I could scroll that app for hours and hours and hours and hours. And if you don't know, Depop is a fashion resale marketplace where personal taste has real value. It has really, really, really helped me hone in on my own style, which I have struggled with very much over the course of my life.

31:42And I think the reason I love Depop so much is because you can have this conversation with the person you're buying it from. So you have a personal connection with the buyer and it doesn't just feel like so transactional. Like you can share your love for the piece of clothing with the person selling it. I get overwhelmed shopping in person and Depop, it almost feels like a for you page for clothes, like where you can like really look and add stuff and talk to people and it feels so communicative. Also, not only just for buying Depop is incredible for selling your clothing. There are no seller fees, which is incredible.

32:18With that being said, you can download the Depop app right now to start selling today. Listing your first item only takes about a few minutes and someone out there is already searching for your style. Thank you, Depop, for sponsoring tonight's episode. If you could pick one person in the world right now to drop an album out of nowhere, surprise it, who would it be? For me, it's Taylor Swift. Same. Yeah. Or Sabrina. Sabrina. that's tough. Tied, tied. Yeah. Mine's Taylor. I need, I would care the, care the most if Taylor, if I picked up my phone right now and it said Taylor Swift, here's my 13th studio album.

32:52You know who I am loving so much recently that it's actually like, I'm starting to think about them like in my unconscious. Can I take a guess? Yeah. I'm gonna have three guesses. Go. Adela? Love, love, love, but no, but I love. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Is it a boy or a girl? It's a girl. of course. When has there been a boy? Okay, okay. It's a girl. It's a class. We've all been thinking of this person for a while, but it's really hit recently. Really hit. Zara Larson? Love, but no. Who? Audrey Hobart. Me too. I mean, Manny is Audrey Hobart's number one fan. I am. It's, I saw her perform in Toronto.

33:33Was it amazing? I'm so jealous. You were gone at that point. I've never seen her live. I was, tears. Well, I've never felt more seen in my life by an artist besides Taylor Swift. Like, Audrey Hobart's, like, literally, like, I am so uncomfortable. Every photo I take of myself looks bad. Totally. I'm drunk and alone. Totally. This isn't Sex and the City. Sorry. But, by the way, that's my favorite song on the album. No, I mean, come on. And Silver Jubilee. I'ma put my drink up. Drink up and drink up now. I'ma tell my sister she's perfect. Wait, I like the line. I'm gonna tell my sister your secrets.

34:05Because I'm gonna do that. I don't have a sister, but you're my sister. I like the way you've been dressing recently. Wait, really? Has Jared been dressing you? Jared always dresses me. Did he do this? Yeah, he did this. This is phenomenal. This is just jeans and a tee. It's great. Hailey Bieber and Kendall Jenner once showed up to Coachella in leather jackets and jeans and changed history. Okay, but they can wear anything and look good. Genuinely, I – humble brag. I got lunch with Hailey the other day, and she was wearing just like an – we were at Aloe, and she was wearing just yoga pants or whatever.

34:36I've tried every day to copy the outfit, and then I realized, oh, it's a sports bra. So I'm like, I don't think I'll be wearing that. But she just looks so effortless. Right. Effortless. Effortless, always effortless. It's crazy. What's your favorite robe product? Probably the glazing mist. Okay. I have it in my bag. My favorite is the face wash. Oh, okay. Yeah. I like the little exfoliant thingies. I love that. Yeah. Have you used Alex's skincare yet? No, I have to. It's amazing. I have to. It's amazing. Relactives. So she has this thing where it's like a butter to take off your makeup. And you rub it all on your face and it starts melting all the makeup off your face.

35:21So it feels like a painting that's melting. Oh, I always see this on TikTok. Everyone's obsessed with the butter. It's very fun to use. Okay, I have to do that. It's pretty awesome. And then you turn it out. It's like a little like, oop, oop. Oop. A little oop. Well, Owen, what are you therapist about today? I know what I'm therapist about. Okay, what? I've been stepping in dog shit. That's it. That's it. And I'm just pissed about that. A lot? Okay. The other day, I'm in a flip-flop. Okay, my new thing is a flip-flop. My new thing is a flip-flop. Sorry, the dogs are out. Wait, and it's a French thing, by the way.

35:56I went to Paris. I saw everybody in flip-flops, and I said, okay. Okay. You went, okay, clocking that. I see you. If Jonathan Anderson is making a flip-flop, we're wearing it. I saw Jonathan Anderson in a flip flop. There you go. That's what I'm saying. And so I said, I'm wearing a flip flop. I'm going to flip flop. Okay. Sue me. It's a Javiana. Really thin. Okay. I am stepping through the city. Everyone already is like my mom. I was on FaceTime with my mom. My mom's like, ew, your feet are out in New York. I'm like, oh, shut up. I'll wash them later. It's fine. I'm in a flip flop. I'm stomping through the park.

36:30What's the park? The Washington Square Park. I'm stomping through Washington Square Park. It's dirty. It was kind of, it was actually dirty. And thinking about it, I'm actually getting nauseous. But I'm stomping through. All of a sudden, step in something. I go, I literally, before I move my foot, I look up and I say, please let it be gum. At that, I would pray for gum. Shit, I'm like, I can't deal with that. And did the shit like spill out of the side of your foot? Well, so then I press a little harder. Now it's goopy. I'm really making this sound really gross. It's getting everywhere. Not on my foot, but on the shoe.

37:04I'm like this. Did you toss them? I mean they're Javianas. No, because I love a flip flop right now and I don't want to have to buy other Javianas. So I didn't toss them. I went to the grass and I wiped my foot a lot on the grass. Okay. Actually, it was in a little bit of the crevices, but it was fine. But I was needed at a lunch. So I found myself, I found myself in Bayredo and I thought, okay, this is what I'll do. I'll take a bottle and I'll spray my feet with it. No, mistake. Well, mistake. It's really hard to get the bottle down to your feet without the people being like, what are you doing?

37:41No, what you need to do is what I would have done. What? I would have taken that flip-flop because they're like silicone and I would have put it in the little like drinkity fountain. And I would have like – Drinkity. Tossed it around in the fountain and like looked around and like shaved it and went like this and like really washed it and then like sat there for a second, let it dry. and then went to Bairito. I definitely should have done that because there was shit in the crevices, but I just thought no one will see it or know it's there, but they might smell it. Did they smell it? No, because I did use summer rain.

38:18I did get summer rain, and I sprayed it all over my foot, but the woman at the store was confused why I was spraying my foot. Did she give a fuck? She looked at me weird for a second, but she was French, so I think she's fine. Do you like Paris? Paris, like France? Yeah. Gorge. I thought you meant Hilton. Oh, love Paris Hilton. I mean the best. Do I love France? Yeah. I don't think they like me. No one's ever that nice to me in Paris. I actually find... What? I was there for the heat wave. You're always somewhere for... Weather. Weather event. Yeah. I was very happy to be in Toronto for the blizzard.

38:58Agree. Wait, I just felt like Kareem in subway takes. Strongly agree. What would your subway take be? I think we should be allowed to listen to Christmas music all year round. That's not a subway take. It is. But you can do that. You have your own free volition. You have your own free will. Yeah, but why are we judged for it? I wouldn't judge you. If you played Christmas music right now, I'd be like, oh, yeah, it's July or August. Sorry, Fruitcake by Sabrina Carpenter is my year-long album. It's a great album. Whoa, Cindy Lou. I'm blasting it. I like the one that's like the Christmas nonsense.

39:29Love. Wait, buy me presents. Buy me presents. Oh, also Christmas nonsense. They also do that. Okay. You know what is a, I guess this isn't an underrated Christmas song, but I remember when it came out, nobody moved, but I moved. Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande. I mean, come on. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Santa Tell Me. What if you really care? Come on. Woo! Don't make me fall in love with you. You're gonna be right here. Whoa. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's a banger. That changed lives. I mean that yeah wow what's your favorite Christmas song of all time? I love Buy Me Presents so much and I love Cindy Lou okay but also I love Santa's home oh oh oh oh you know what I've really gotten into recently?

40:16it's so funny because it's August but I really got into in July I got into Santa Can You Hear Me? by who? Kelly Clarkson featuring Ariana Grande what? is that it? it's Oh, was this from the voice era? It is the voice era. Of course. It is so good. When was it released, Nolan? Yep. Voice era. It's delish. Would you ever host the voice? No, because I would be like, you sound great, I guess. Oh, you're completely tone deaf. I would just be like, sure. And I would get stressed out. And then I'd be like, wait, why are they pressing their buttons? And I'm not. Like, I would have no actual ground to stand on.

40:58Would you ever host the voice? Oh, my God. I would die to be in a swivel chair. They should do the voice for stand-up comics. I wouldn't do that. I'd be horrible at that. Because I would, I kind of like. And then if you win, you get a special on Netflix. Wow. Hi. Wait, hi. Genius. Is that not genius? That's actually genius. Sorry. Oh, really? Last comic standing. Oh. So you did create a show that exists. All right, whatever. But can we, that's what brainstorming is. That's what making a joke is. Totally. We can't tell you. Should we tell them our laid off joke? No, because we have to explain the whole thing.

41:36We have to explain the joke and it's not funny if we explain it, but it's really funny. Wait, can I just say something that I was really laughing at the other day? What? I come to Jake's house and I'm sitting down on this exact, actually in this exact seat. And Jake goes, oh my God, I need to show you my magazine collection. And then he shows me this magazine that he got when he was in New York. It's the Knicks. It's awesome. But I just love that you love it so much. I'm glad I love it because that magazine, this magazine is in 20 years going to be like something that everyone wants. I agree. So you have Jalen Brunson on the cover.

42:14It's good to be king because at the time, I mean, right. I mean, he is the king of New York right now. He is. He is. He is. On the back, a Demna Gucci ad. Oh, wow. Like, and then, I mean, at this point, should I show you my magazine collection? See, this is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. He shows magazines. And then, so this is my paparazzi book that I got at the East Saint Laurent. They have like a thrift store. Okay. Have you heard about this, Jared? Yes. They have like a thrift. They sell like old shit there. Is it great? It's cool. I got this there. It's like a book on the history of paparazzi.

42:48It's really cool. And then I also bought an old interview magazine. Oh my God. That is iconic. And then I bought an old interview magazine with Brad Pitt. That is iconic. Then I have the interview magazine that I am in. That is iconic. And then I have Faye Dunaway interviewed by Andy Warhol from 1981. These are unbelievable magazines. No, they're very good. This is a great magazine stack. It's, yeah, it's pretty awesome. It's amazing. And at the top is the Jalen Brunson one because I, because also if you pass any place in New York, they sell it. Still this? Still. Yeah, King of New York. If you go to, you know what I, who I saw, Gracie Abrams did like a cover of like a magazine or something.

43:38I saw that and then she posted it. I literally walked by and then she posted it two minutes later and I was like, is she here? Gracie? Hello? Gracie? Gracie? I love Gracie. Gracie. Oh my God, her album. talk about a great album what's your favorite song on repeat well I know you like Minibar I like Minibar and I like Look at My Life love Look at My Life she came on the show and I heard that whole album and I heard Look at My Life and I said this is the best song I've ever heard in my entire life I love Look at My Life yeah what else is there that I like from that album I love Daughter from Hell I love Daughter from Hell I love I love Hit the Wall I know that was a single but I do love Hit the Wall and I love you give me the track list wait wait wait wait wait wait it's the first up of my thing, of course.

44:19Okay, I love the knife. Okay. Get into the knife, baby. I need to get into the knife. I love good reason. Good reason! That's it. Good reason, dude! You didn't give me a good reason. Good reason is the best one. I'm listening and loving it. I love Grace Abrams. Ooh, can I just explain one more thing and then I'll be done? Okay, there's this thing that I've invented. I actually talked to you about this last time, I think, on your podcast. I don't remember. But it's called the front follow. and basically if you think someone's hot, you'll be really good at this. Okay, tell me, tell me. So I was with my friend.

44:52My friend was like, oh my God, that guy's so hot. So what you do is you walk in front of them, okay? But you're kind of guessing where they're going because you want to like, you want to see them three or four times on, this really only happens in New York, but you want to see them three or four times or on Soho bump into them at a coffee shop, bump into them in the next door. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that they see your face and that they recognize you and then the next door they're like, oh my God, this is so funny. hi and how do you know where they're going if they're in the front so no we're in the front so you have to guess and then if you go into the right store it's like meant to be it's so much fun so i'm really bad at it because i i also have add so i just like go into stores that i want to and a long-term boyfriend um which makes this whole thing hard but it's really fun you should try it because then you both end up in acne and you're like wait this is meant to be there's And nothing better than like a real life meet cute.

45:47That's exactly what I'm creating. The only time that's ever happened to me was on an airplane. Tell me. I was coming back from Portland and some guy dropped a thing in my lap and it was like, you're really cute. Here's my number. I'm like, oh my God. Oh my, Manny, do you remember this? What? And I'm like, oh my God, this is like, I am Cameron Diaz in a rom-com. Totally. This is like the best day of my life. I'm Kate Hudson. I'm Kate Hudson. Totally. And so I go, I get in the car on the way home and I text him and he goes, hey, are you still at the airport? Like I have a layover. And I'm like, what?

46:18He wanted to like fuck in the airport bathroom. Would you have done it? If I had a layover, you wouldn't have had to ask me twice. Totally. Ass up. Ass up. Ass up, door locked. Locked because I'm like at this point, like what else? Totally. At this point, what else? What else do we have to live for other than getting railed? In an airport. What, okay, if you had to think, like, what time, okay, so 2026. Okay. A lot of people are saying we had a moment where it was, like, the 2000s are back. Do you think it's, like, 90s era right now? Like, fashion-wise? Vibe-wise. Vibe-wise. Because I would say vibe-wise.

46:59Everyone's going to jump down my throat for saying this. But I kind of think we're, like, going vibe-wise, like, 70s into 80s. Not fashion-wise. I just feel it a little bit. Wait, why, why, why? Everyone's smoking cigs. Because let me, everyone's smoking cigarettes, but I think the pop star is the modern day rock band. Pop star is the modern day rock band. So like back in the 80s and the 70s, you had a lot of like these like rock bands emerging. No, but you had a lot of rock bands emerging and a lot of groupies. Like pop star groupie culture was also like rock star groupie culture. In my mind, how I view it.

47:37so like should we just get into the tell me what's wrong no no no but I get what you're saying but I want to know so 70s because everyone's like kind of out on the streets everyone's like a hippie everyone's like fuck consumerism but then like we're leading into the 80s everyone wants to party party party party party party party yes and Jared what do you think I couldn't agree more wait really I mean honestly yeah I feel like it is late 70s into 80s wait Jared really agrees I went Jared I love when you agree When Jared agrees It's really It's gratifying And you both went to NYU He went to Parsons I went to NYU Oh Parsons Was Emma the first Sorry I'm not Talking to Jared Was Emma the first person You ever worked with Yeah Ever And how did that happen I worked at a magazine And I styled her there And it was like pure joy And then she reached out Right Like the magazine folded And as it folded Her team reached out What magazine was it Garage Magazine?

48:38Do you know Garage Magazine? No. It's amazing. It was like me. It was like ID's sister. Got it. And then that was it. And she was a baby. She was like 19. Wow. What magazine in your both minds has stood the test of time? I think Interview. I was going to say. Interview is done unbelievable. And I'll tell you why Interview is done so well is because they've hit the social game really well. The way that like I swipe through an Instagram or an interview Instagram post because it's like the way their graphics are done are very well. And they've had the same format. I had no idea since it started, which was like friends interviewing friends.

49:21I mean, that's brilliant. It's brilliant. That's brilliant. And it's like I'm like this magazine is like Andy Warhol interviewing like whoever. Totally. And it's always been that way. It kind of led the way. Like that's You think so? Yeah Because I feel like everyone does that now Yeah everyone does that They do Every magazine is like Jake Shane interviewing Owen Thiel Which by the way Which wait Interview Mel Wait I'm pitching Mel Wait I just pitched I just pitched that Right Just now To Mel Mel Mel We have to do that And then when our movie comes out We'll do a joint photo shoot But who's gonna interview us?

49:55I think we have to shoot for the stars I think we gotta get Brock

50:03not kidding us with brock does he watch adults barack obama you see you look at me and you're like what have you seen his summer playlist there's some stuff on there that i'm like no way i don't i don't know i hope but also i hope i have this season i'm i have some intimate scene so I would it feels like my father watching. Are you nude this season? I'm nude-ish not. I'm nude-ish. Okay. I'm not nude but I'm doing things that I could be nude. You could be nude. What was different about filming season 2 to season 1? We were just actual. I mean season 1 we were becoming best friends and then season 2 we were like we actually just knew the dynamic and we sunk back into like being.

50:52Does that make like doing things like improv easier? So much easier. Yeah. So much easier. Because like Amitra and I in a scene, that's like my actual best friend. Right. So now we're just playing. You know what I mean? We're just having fun. And do you, is there an episode in this coming season that you're like this to me, I'm so proud of like my improvisation work? Well, you know what's so funny? Ben and Rebecca, the creators of adults, they write such brilliant scripts that actually sometimes I'm like, don't improvise. I'm like, I shouldn't improvise because this is so well written. I would, it would actually be taking away from the joke.

51:32But you could do both. You could do both. I feel like there's an episode, episode four, it's called Raccoon. And the premise is a raccoon has been trapped in our house with us and we're on acid. Oh, have you ever taken acid? Never. Neither have I. Should we right now? So here's my thing about acid. Acid is the one thing I get scared to touch. Why? Because the brain. The brain. I'm scared to be in the constant loop of the acid brain or whatever it's called. Well, I've just heard of situations where people have taken acid and then they never come out. That's what I'm saying. And then it's like that bugs me out.

52:09Totally. Wait, I'm, by the way, extraordinarily excited to go out with you tonight. I can't wait. No, Owen. I literally can't wait. And Ryan right now, like, on that FaceTime, he is on such good form, and so is Peyton. Like, you're going to wake up and be like, I've never drank like that before in my entire life. I'm scared. No, don't be. It's fine. It's fun. Okay, well, let's get into the Tell Me What's Wrongs, because talk about all over the place. Well, totally. Tell me what's wrong, girl. I have fallen out of sexual attraction to my spouse. Like we're still genuinely best friends, but that's kind of the thing.

52:49He's giving me these weird friend vibes now. I don't want to have sex with him anymore. And that's kind of awkward because we just moved in together and have been together forever. Um, what do I do? Invite a third. Right? Like invite a third. Well, you know my threesome story. Oh yeah. Your threesome story is awesome. I got so bored during my threesome that I had to ultimately go and do a skin care routine. While Jared was? While Jared finished the deed. And then I walked in, skin glowing after my collagen face mask, 20 minutes. And I walked in and I go, you guys done? He goes, yeah, we just finished.

53:28I said, great, and I'll see you out. Well, you know my favorite story of yours is the first time you and Jared had sex and you had to pause to listen to the new Adele album. Well, of course. 25 had just dropped. I go, well, River Leah. Godless know what she's saying. This is Emily. Hi. Don't apologize. I love your pants. She's so cute. So I would invite a third. Yeah, I would invite a third. Because if they're still your best friend, like, that's your partner. Role play. Have you ever done that? I've never had the opportunity to do that. I think that's fun. Like, going to a bar, sitting in a bar, your spouse walks in, you go, Hi, I'm Ivanka Have you guys ever done that?

54:06We've never done that We've never done that But I'm gonna be Ivanka tonight Do you think Do you think you like Could do it? 100 % Put me in a wig Put me in a wig I'll be anything Wait, I really want you guys To do that just so I can hear about it Wait, also you can watch it Yeah, I'll be at the bar Fuck it Yeah You're serving us drinks Yeah, I'm like So what do you guys want? Do you guys know each other? You feel like you've known each other forever I go, no I have an accent No, we don't My best friend cheated on his fiance and no one knows that I know. His fiance found out and it's, okay, wait.

54:39Go back. What? My best friend cheated on his fiance and no one knows that I know. His fiance found out and is staying with him. Well, that makes sense because they are engaged. Engaged, yeah. Even though this is the second time he's cheated. I've been low-key ignoring them because I desperately want them to break up but don't want to give away that I know about the cheating. Wait, keep going. Keep reading. Should I just ignore them or confess and tell them to break up? Like the wedding is soon. Why are you making this about yourself? Leave it alone. Leave it alone. Never get involved in someone else's relationship.

55:12Because guess what? What if? What if they're open? Well, they're not. Well, they're not. They're not. I wouldn't do anything about that. I would talk shit about it with other people and be like, can you believe that this is going on? Totally. This is going on. I'd start a group chat about it. I'd be like, can you believe that this is going on? This is so insane, but it's none of my business. Totally. Why make it your business? I would talk so much shit that probably it would end up getting back to her. Right. You know what I mean? Has that ever happened to you? No. Oh, that's happened to me. Really?

55:40So many times, Owen. Wait. And friendship ending? No. Conversation starting. Because I always say, yeah, I did that and I'm sorry. You own up to it. Because really, if somebody calls you and they're like, I heard you've been talking shit. And you say, yeah, I have. I'm sorry I'm sorry also I'm hurt by this yeah this thing I'm I'm I'm I'm it's always I'm totally I'm I'm I'm if you go to them and you're like you you you they'll be like I can't wait at Crossroads School the high school that I went to there was this there was this thing that they used to make us do it was wait what was it I don't use it clearly but it's like really it's a formal way to a to tell someone you're hurt.

56:30Yeah, it's I feel hurt by this because, and I learned this in volleyball when another team was upset, that they, you like objectively cannot tell somebody that the way they are feeling is wrong. Totally. You can't, it's like in a - Well, it's their feelings. It's like, you can't be like, you're wrong. What do you mean? That's how they feel. Yeah. So like, you can't say that. So if you tell someone, I feel this way, they can't be like, well, that's not true. What do you mean? You inside my mind? That's how I feel. That's actually my biggest fight with my dad. I love your dad. Is him being like, you don't actually feel that way.

57:11And me being like, I do. I swear. Go inside. I wonder who says that to me. Well, usually if they're like, you don't feel that way, they're like, they're right with me. Like Zach will be like, I know this is not. or he'll be like you feel this way but it's about something else and I'm like okay you're right you're bearing the lead yeah totally I went on a date with this guy and he asked me if Louisiana was a state wait it sounds so hot yeah it gave me the biggest ick do I give him a second chance he also followed it up and asked if Utah was in Colorado okay no this no he's cute but is this just too far removed from reality dash mark with a C no it's not Far removed from reality, he doesn't know anything.

57:57I'm going to give him a bit of grace. Way of course. Because, like, you know, they, like, there are, like, what if he, I know. Okay, so the Louisiana state thing, I can get past. Utah and Colorado is crazy. I actually think the other way around. I'm like, Louisiana, he could think was a city? Actually, yeah, that's pretty crazy. Louisiana, like, in the song. Wait, what is that? Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut. You've never heard this? It's stunning. Who wrote this? Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan.

58:41Wait, is that in the right order? It's like the alphabets for the states. And I don't know the rest. I love that. I was never taught that. No. Look, the only reason I have grace and a lot of people online are like, he truly cannot be this dim. And look, I'm not dim, but because I was raised between New York and LA, I just inherently was a tad bit out of touch with like the geographics of the world. So I did think Florida was at the top of the map for a very long period of my life. Like in a very real way. I thought it went like New York, Florida. Oh, because you know what? But that, to me, makes sense.

59:24Because everyone here in New York is like, oh my God, we'll just pop over to Florida. It seems like it's next door. It just feels like it's going to go up. Like, down feels like Alaska. Anything down feels like Alaska. We just need to go to the next one. No, but I... Also, like... Yeah, I don't know. That, to me... Also, like, the only thing about this tell me what's wrong that I have a problem with is, like, how hot is he? Well, we need to see a pic. I always need to see a pic. If somebody doesn't sound like they can have a conversation with you, I got to at least see a pic. I'm so sorry. If Connor Story was sitting here and was like, is Louisiana State?

1:00:02I'd be like, who cares? Totally. I'd be like, who gives a fuck? Totally. I'd be like, you're Connor Story. It doesn't matter what you do. So how hot is this person? It just really depends. Right, right, right. What if they are really, really hot? Uh-huh. A really hot body, but a chopped face. Okay. Like, how hot's the body? Tea. Tea as fuck. Doesn't matter. You don't care. You don't care about Louisiana not being a state, they think. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. I thought we were saying really great body, ugly face. Yeah, and dumb. That's pushing it. That's really pushing it. Would you prefer a hot body or a hot face?

1:00:56Hot face. Always hot face. Hot face. Always hot face. Who cares? I love that bod. Love. Give me a little stomach. Give me something to grab onto. Right? Totally. I'm slowly starting to hate my roommates. I'm single and they live together as a couple. Oh, Jesus Christ. That doesn't bother me as much as the constant being out of the living room cooking for every meal. So there's always dishes. And now adopting a second cat that I will undoubtedly have to take care of sometimes. I've just gone into another year lease with them. Well, that's why. Well, that's on you. And can't afford a move right now.

1:01:32Oh, totally. That's not on you anymore. I don't even really need advice. I just want to rant. Oh, I totally get it. DM me. I love a rant. Do you know I'm in group chat? Sometimes like, have you ever been put in a group chat where people are talking about you? And you're in the group chat and it's like with like random people that follow you and they're like talking about you? Wait, never in my life has this happened to me and I need it to happen now. It's kind of awesome. Wait, obsessed. No, I love being added to group chats where people are planning things. Like I was just added to this group chat where someone's planning their 21st birthday and I'm in it.

1:02:09They just added me to it. I read sometimes. time i'm re they're getting mad at each other yeah it's they're like no i don't want margaritas i really want i'm like yes fight for what you want the best the best is when they send like the like i'm randomly and sometimes i'll randomly be in people's friend group group chats on instagram and they'll like send people that they know that i have no idea who they are and they'll like be talking shit about them oh i'm always reading oh yeah it's very interesting but in terms of this person and your lease like if you can't get out you should force them out oh interesting like just be like you like clean up start throwing fights make new friends and get those new friends to like take your side and be like clean up i think you should just have this person here at your house just host them me yeah open up your room to them jake open your heart to me what song is that Baby, I'm in there And you show the key Open your heart to me Baby What song is that?

1:03:11Something Madonna It's so good Ooh, talk about good album Confessions 2 is amazing Sabrina Yeah Madonna Oh I got something I want to talk about It's so hot It's like Have you heard the song Fragile? By the way, no. Oh, it's the best one. What is that? Fragile, I know you've been hurt, been let down. Have you ever heard of you singing this is making me not want to listen to it? No, thousand percent. Have you ever heard? Okay, so Manny has her favorite Madonna song of all time. What is it, Manny? American Life. Okay. And someone give Manny the mic very quickly because I need you to do the rap. I don't know all of it.

1:03:55I'm drinking a soy latte. I get a double shate. It goes right through my body and you know I'm satisfied. I drive my Mini Cooper and I'm feeling super duper. Yo, they tell me I'm a trooper and you know I'm satisfied. I do yoga and Pilates and the room is full of hotties. So I'm checking out the bodies and you know I'm satisfied. I'm digging on the isotopes. It's better fix. Shit is dope. And if all this can give me hope, you know I'm satisfied. I got a lawyer and a manager and agent and a chef. Three nannies, an assistant, a driver and a jet. A trainer, a butler, a bodyguard, a five, a gardener and a stylist.

1:04:24Do you think I'm satisfied? I'd like to express my extreme point of view. I'm not a Christian and I'm not a Jew. I'm just living. Wait, that part's amazing. I'm just living out the American dream and I just realized that nothing is what it seems. Do you know what's so beautiful about that? Yeah. First of all, wow, that was a tour de force. Yeah, it was amazing. No, that was a tour de force. There's something beautiful about her being like, I have a trainer. I have a trainer. A chef. this and and then it ends with do you think I'm satisfied? It's like no. No. What's your favorite Madonna song of all time?

1:05:07That's really hard. I'm just going to be basic. Mine is Like a Prayer. I mean Like a Prayer is amazing. Because I do love like a gospel song. Like I love when a gospel choir gets involved. Talk about jealous gospel edition. I am obsessed with gospel music recently. Yeah it's amazing. I am obsessed with it. It's amazing. You know I was adopted at birth. Do you know this about me? I do know that about you. I was adopted at birth, and my birth father was a preacher. Really? Mm-hmm. Do you keep in touch? No, not at all. But I think it's in me. Okay. The gospel music. Okay. The preach. We're preaching.

1:05:38I think, like, I saw Jared sit up when I said jealous gospel version. Do you know what I'm talking about? With Nick Jonas? Oh, yes! He has the whole choir singing jealous. Of course! So let me put you onto something underrated. Yeah. There is a band called Laundry Day. Of course. And they have a song called something like Around the World or whatever. Okay. And they sing it with a gospel choir and it's nowhere on streaming. And it is quite literally the best thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Is it gorgeous? It's beautiful. I need to get into it. I'm upside down. Other side of the world.

1:06:17Other side of the world. Okay, so there's this video, but I might get canceled for this because I think it is AI. That's fine. You know what else is AI? What? First time in San Juan. Mejijo. Come on. Hey. Capital of Puerto Rico. Ra ha. The whole plane clapped when we landed. Woo! Immediately was enchanted. It's so good. It's so good. Oh, I love this song. Ready? Yeah. You can't play with me. Don't play with me. God on my side. You can't play on me. Pray on me. Devil tried. And it's a baby. And this is AI? I'm too covered. You can't play on me. I love it. Don't play with me. What? Got on my side.

1:07:08It's sick. I'm turning 32 this year and am single. Dating apps are so fucking bleak and any cute guy I do meet is taken or gay. Everyone keeps telling me I'll find a cute one when I least expect it. But that feels like total BS. I'm considering signing up for one of those Married at First Sight shows. Do not do that. Don't do that. At this point. Should I look into it or keep trying? I would like to ask you a question. Yeah, please. When you met Jared, Yeah. did you feel hopeless before? Were you like, there is no one out there for me? Well, my boyfriend had just broken up with me. Okay. And in a really sad way where he broke up.

1:07:44He came here, flew here. He went to Oberlin. I went to NYU. He flew here to break up with me. We went to dinner and I - What's the point at that point? I know. He sat with me and said, it was actually like nice in theory because I wouldn't want to text, but also he sat with me and said, I'm breaking up with you at dinner. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We haven't even gotten the bread basket. I'm like, wait, let's just wait. I don't want to sit at dinner. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, can we just fake it? So he's like, sure. So then we ended up faking it, having a great time. And he said, oh, maybe I don't want to break up with you.

1:08:14And then we went back to my dorm. We had sex. He did. He came on my face. And as he was coming on my face, he said, I'm sorry. this isn't gonna work and i was like wait there's i was like whoa that's a lot to do and then he left got in a cab and blocked me on everything blocked you so was i hopeless yeah i was hopeless yeah and then jerry i was pretty desperate yeah my my thing is every time i'm like i don't give a fuck somebody does come into my life oh i love that and so i i don't give a fuck right now Totally weird. I don't. You saying that? No, but it's like tonight I want to go out because I want to dance and party with my friends.

1:08:56Yeah. Every time I go out in the hopes of a guy, disaster. It never works. It never works. Disaster. No, no, you can't be looking for it. And I'm off. The dating apps, you have to leave the house. Yes. I can't. The dating apps don't really. I've tried. I can't. It's very hard for me. Yes. You need to leave the house. You do. What Manny discovered is if you go to a random bar and read a book alone, someone will come up to you. A book at a bar? She did it in? To me, performative reading. She did it in D.C. It did it in D.C. It would need to be a book appropriate for a bar. Does that make sense? And it can't be a Kindle.

1:09:35Oh, my God. Can't be a Kindle. You know what? It could be divergent. Always divergent. It's always been divergent. You know my favorite meme of all time? What? Yeah! What is that? You've never seen where Shailene's jumping from the train tracks? No. Jared, you must know what I'm talking about. I love Divergent. Love. What's your favorite YA thriller? Divergent. Really? Mine's Hunger Games. Because it is so well done. I mean, it's amazing. It's brilliant. It's actually very well done. Okay, what does this remind you of?

1:10:10Wait, keep going. Hold on. Hold on. I'm not looking at you so you can do it.

1:10:26It's Divergent. Okay, it's Ellie Goulding. Okay, hold on. Hold on, you guys. Well, you know that the Divergent soundtrack is the best movie soundtrack of all time. No, that's what I'm saying. I need you. Wait, what? You've never heard the M83 song, I Need You, where she swings on the zip line? it's beautiful. I mean I'm sure I have. Or what else is on there? There's another Ellie Goldie one on there that's like here read me the track list of the Divergent soundtrack. What the hell is that? Okay Beating Heart. Yeah. Beating Heart. That's the end credit scene. Hanging On. The song I just played you.

1:11:01I Need You. She's on a zip line and they're zip lining through the city. I have chills. I actually have chills. And then what's the there's another one that I just need to know. Beating Heart I get. Lost and Found. No. Stranger. No. Dream Machines. Dead in the Water. I Love You, Waiting Game. No. My Blood. Oh, Waiting Game, yeah, I know. I won't let you go. I don't know the soundtrack as well as I thought. You know who has a great soundtrack is, what's the show? Nobody Wants This. Yes. Great soundtrack. I love that show. Who's your boyfriend acoustic? Kristen Bell is amazing. Amazing. She's a light.

1:11:38Yeah. Jake, I need advice. I'm staying at my grandmother's for the week, and she likes to sleep at 55. Ooh, love that. How do you sleep in the cold without freezing your ass off? All her blankets are really old and thin, and I don't want to get claustrophobic by layering a thousand hoodies, et cetera. Am I doomed? No. And I'll tell you why. You are being a little stubborn. Your grandma, old people get very, well, actually, that's quite interesting. I actually thought they'd get cold easier. But regardless, you can't rip. it's better to be cold than hot because if you're sweating, sweating, sweating so hot you can't rip your skin off.

1:12:14You can always add layers. I agree. Go to a local CVS, get a fucking throw blanket and figure it out. I agree. I'm sorry. I agree. I'm sorry. Also, 55? That's a dream for me. I love being cold, don't you? 62. I love being cold. It is my favorite thing in the entire world. I'm upset. I want my wedding to be in the same way. snow a hundred percent where is your dream wedding not in the snow yeah but um but i i don't know maybe just like maybe let's just do it in la it's easy yeah fuck it fuck it it's easy it's easy or in new york even i don't hate it upstate okay upstate england i'm i i want to do english countryside i would love that it's just too hard to get everyone there that's the point you're stuck Oh.

1:13:06And it's like, fuck it, let's just party. That's so fun. Yeah. That's my idea. Okay, I'm going to copy that. A few times I have noticed that my ex will view the first Instagram story I post but won't click forward to the second or third. I'm not someone who posts like 100 in a day, usually a couple every now and then. Why is he just viewing the first and swiping out? Is this for attention? I kind of miss him, so please help. I would be like, he can't keep going. He can't resist. Also, I recently downloaded Instagram Plus so I can search who views my story. And let me tell you. I need that. It's$2.99 a month.

1:13:40It is the best purchase I've ever made in my time. $2.99. I think, if I remember correctly, Louise did it and she by accidently verified herself. And she couldn't post for a month. Wait, can I just say something? I always check my ex's stories on Instagram. And I'll do it on my main. You don't. But I don't have an ex. But every situationship, check. You don't do it on your main? No, I do it on my main. Same. I do it on my main too. I could give less of a fuck. Hello. Look at my name. I'm thinking of you. Totally thinking of you, babe. Heart. Have we already talked about my shaved head on this podcast yet?

1:14:10And you think it's a good idea? I love the shaved head idea. Okay. Do I need an earring? No, baby. No. What? Are you Eminem? Do I need a tat? Eminem? What are you? Eminem? Why are you doing that? Just shaved head. Yes. Jared. Come on. We can't get into Macklemore territory. Does he have a shaved head? Malcolm Macklemore. Macklemore. Does he have a shaved head? No, he has everything else though, I'm sure. To me, he has a shaved head, an earring, and a tat. Have you ever heard the song by Macklemore, I Don't Belong in This Club? No, and I'll probably like it. I need you after this to listen to I Don't Belong in This Club by Macklemore.

1:14:49There's a part in the song where he goes, I'm having the worst time in this club, and the DJ yells, Macklemore in the house tonight, and I go, ah, shit, and the chorus starts again. And it is the best song I've ever heard. I need that in my veins. And the DJ yells, Macklemore in the house tonight. Oh, shit. Hey, hey, I'm faded. I'm faded. Boom. I don't belong in this club. One dance, no chance. Because I'm feeling awkward as fuck. Oh, wait, what? I thought it was going to be, I don't belong in this club again. No, you would think. Well, Owen, what did we learn today? I feel like we learned so much.

1:15:36Okay, I feel like we learned that you would look great with a shaved head. Which I'm getting on August 20th. Save the date. Save the date. Save the date, babe. I'm starting to talk like you. Save the date, baby. I feel like, what else did we learn? We've learned that we are truly creative partners. No, I see you and I love you. I see you and I love you. And I acknowledge you. So I think we, well, we learned not in this podcast, but we did learn how to write a joke. Yes. A hundred percent. And we are really good at it. It's really fun to write a joke. That's fun. And you know what else I learned?

1:16:10What? You're going to need to come over in a few hours so we can like actually talk shit and write jokes. I feel like we've actually learned a lot. But you know what? We also learned that you can watch adults. We've learned that you can watch adults on August 27th. All eight episodes are premiering on Hulu. It is season two. It is fantastic. I make a guest starring role in episode two. Jake is fabulous in episode two. Thank you very much. I actually, I want to use the word fabulous. You are fabulous. I'm very excited for people to see it, but you can watch all eight episodes on August 27th. It is created by the wonderful Ben and Rebecca.

1:16:43They're amazing. My episode was directed by the wonderful Jonathan Kreisel. Done. I had the best time of my life filming. Oh, I have, I have the best time here. This is amazing. I mean, I could sit and talk to you for another hour. Same. Well, this is just fun. Sorry. I know. Sorry we're friends Sorry I'm sorry that we're friends Sorry that we're friends And we actually Love to be together All the time Wait That was crazy Well Owen I love you And I'll see you tonight I'll see you tonight Bye pussies

1:17:36We'll see you next time. and crave-worthy flavors in the Autumn Harvest Bowl, Maple Glazed Salmon Plate, and Roasted Bacon Brussels Side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen, featuring fall's best dressed. Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app.