Session 86: Selena Gomez

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0:40hi pussies i am just as shocked as you are to be honest when i received the text that uh this was a possibility that selena gomez could come on therapist i literally thought about the first time I ever recorded this podcast with Julia and just I had zero expectations. I didn't know how well it was going to do, if anyone was going to care. But you guys really showed up for me and you are all the reason that this happened. I mean, I've been a fan of Selena Gomez. I feel like that's so redundant to say. I feel like everyone's like, you know what I mean? I feel Like that's Selena Gomez who she's not to overuse the word, but iconic.

1:27And to have her on this show was so crazy. She was so lovely. I, the entire time I just couldn't believe she was here. Really just thank you guys first and foremost for like allowing something like this to even happen. Well, we have Selena Gomez on tonight. We got to talk about Disney. We talked about Rare Beauty. We talked about Selena Gomez and the scene. We talked about only murders in the building. We talked about everything. And she is just, I can't say it enough, so wonderful. And so, Selena, thank you for coming on. I really don't think it needs any further introduction. I really hope you guys enjoyed the episode.

2:07To submit Tell Me What's Wrong, go to PassThatPuss.com and click Tell Me What's Wrong. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. And I present to you Therapist with Selena Gomez. Love you, pussies.

2:20Hi, pussies. Welcome back to Therapist. From wizardry to solving murders, from number one singles to Oscar-nominated films, and now a billion-dollar beauty empire, the queen, the greatest of all time, Selena Gomez is here. I think you just wrote my vows for me. No, I practiced that all morning. You are so sweet. No, this is so exciting. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. I don't think I've ever been so excited and nervous for a guest before in my life. Oh, no. Oh, I shouldn't. That should be the opposite, especially when you hang out with me. You'll know in five minutes that I'm not that cool.

2:59So. OK, well, everyone was saying she's like she's the most calming person. Like she'll bring you she'll bring you peace. I was like, OK, great. Good. I like that. Happy belated. Thank you. How was your birthday? It was so much fun. I to be honest, I didn't really want anything because it was 33. so I just, dinner would be nice. And Benny, my fiance, just was like, oh, maybe we'll just throw something at a place and then a few people will come. And only 20 people to 30 people were there because I wanted a dinner. Yeah. But it was so nice. It's like imagine going to a party before it gets really rowdy and then it stays that initial group and then you all just get rowdy together and then you end the night together.

3:49So it was one of those unexpected, lovely birthdays for sure. That sounds amazing. I thought I'd have dinner and like that's it with my pajamas on. But you had a lovely. I did. Yeah. So thank you for asking. Oh my God. Well, happy belated. Are you enjoying your 30s so far? Oh boy, am I? Yes. A lot of my life, I wouldn't say has become clearer because that would be ignorant of me. I think there's so much more I'm meant to learn and to do and will always be saying that no matter what age. I do feel, however, I've let a lot of things just like slide off my back, if that makes sense. It's not something that I try to do consciously.

4:33It's just I do believe the older you get, the less you care about the things you thought you did before. Right. So it feels really great. In my 30s, we've been doing the brand and I got engaged and my little sister is graduating sixth grade. And so all of those moments are things I'm going to cherish. Congratulations. Thank you. And how is the brand doing? How's Rare doing? Rare is great. Thank you. You know, this is a gift that keeps giving, to be honest. I've always, well, we launched initially in COVID. So to be honest, my hopes were not that high considering we were all trapped inside anyway.

5:21Until this beautiful thing happened where the TikToks and the world of the internet was able to start cooking trends. And people were cooking more. And then, you know, makeup gurus would want to do fun makeup and you can do it at your home or in the safety of your bedroom. And all these things kind of started popping up and that was really exciting, but we were nervous. And then when it was finally released to the world, I felt relieved. I don't think I feel like I need to check in on like status of anything. I've always just wanted to make sure that it envelops everything I believe, which is simply that I want people to feel good and themselves and their bodies and their minds.

6:10I work on it every day. It's not easy, and we've built a really strong community, and I think that's what I'm proud of. When did the idea for Rare start? It was about over five years ago, and I recorded this song called Rare, and I loved the song. Thank you. I loved the song so much. And the words seemed very true to where I was. And I, you know, my favorite line of the whole song is, I know I'm not perfect, but I know that I'm special. And that's the kind of gratitude that I think keeps me solid in a way, because that's how I you everything right so when we started and it all came together it was it was just a gift so now I just try to continue to make it better and love on it um I never want to stop working on rare does it like does it like is it one of those things that like doesn't feel like work because it's so fun definitely doesn't even the photo shoots and and the meetings everything is so fun the music and us laughing and sharing stories.

7:22And it's so cool to start a company with just a handful of people to now see it expand into so many employees that I just, you know, interns and all these things that we're doing with the company and giving people opportunities. It's been really fun. Well, and what I find so special about Rare is also like the mental health component behind it all? And was that always a part of the plan? Yeah, I tried. I think for me, I tried to share my story in hopes that it would be something to help others. And I think I did that when I admitted that I had struggled through my bipolar diagnosis. So that was that was more of a release for me and then I realized anything that I touch or anything I'm a part of it has to it has to give back in some sort of element and that just always has been my key demographic that it's people who don't feel seen or heard or even know what's going on in in their own mind right has it ever been like hard for you to like talk about like because like talking about mental health it's like it's so weird I feel like sometimes talking about like in something other people can't see but you feel right has that ever been like weird for you to been like this is what's going inside my mind but I don't have like I can't prove it to you I don't know I just sometimes I have the most vivid messed up dreams and then I think they mean something and they mean the opposite I don't know I don't think I get too deep into it I just believe in therapy I'm on medication and I feel really lucky that I'm in the position that I'm in now.

9:04Right. And I believe in all of that. Yeah. Do you feel like living more privately in your 30s has been nicer than because you've been in the public eye for so long? For sure. I mean, I still have to deal with the life of the path I've chosen, which is fine. I think I should never complain about what I have. However, I do try to keep the sacred things private. At the same time, I grew up with so many of my community and my people, and I want nothing more than to invite them into certain moments of my life for sure. You just have to be careful on what you're willing to share, and that's the balance, I think.

9:48Yeah. Because it's like you don't, I feel like you kind of grew up and like figured things out in front of everybody. Yeah. That was fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going to continue to. But I guess it is a bit different when you have gone through the motions of the teenage years to 20s and to early 30s. By all means, I have nothing figured out. I just, I hope that I've just become a little bit more mature in a lot of areas. I think you've always been pretty mature. Thanks. Sometimes. Whatever day it is. That's how I feel. Like today, I'm a good 18 years old. Oh, today I'm 10. Today, because I'm cramping, I feel like 40.

10:37Caught it. Okay. But I'm not mad at it. You're not mad? No, because I feel like, yeah. Yeah. I'm getting older. And you're engaged. yeah i am very very happy and are you excited for like wedding and stuff i am i couldn't be more excited it's just there's so much kind of happening in the moment with um he's working on some projects that he has to wrap up and we just have things we want to finish um and our own personal endeavors before we get into all the nitty gritty. But yeah, I don't know. You know, I'm really, I just have never really felt so sure about something. And I also don't want to jinx it by saying that.

11:26I feel the same way about things. Are you a superstitious person? A little bit. I don't like to admit it, but a little bit. Because you don't like to admit it because then it's like superstitious. I know. Yes. Yeah. That's I'm the same exact way. I like whenever someone's like, oh, whenever I'm like something, I'm feeling anxious or sad and someone's like, but everything's going great for you. I'm like, like, I can't hear that. That's not what I need to hear. Right. Because it'll make me jinx it. That's not what's happening. Yes, of course. Absolutely. Oh, my God. Well, I want to ask you about because, you know, Wizards just rebooted and like seeing all that what did like that nostalgia feel like for you like you know what I mean was it like happy sad both no I think more than anything it was this zest this new refreshing take and an older version of Alex who I think ultimately shaped who I am because I feel like I am Alex that's so weird I feel like I should talk to my therapist about that but I relate to her so much and it's crazy that re you know re-stepping into Alex has been a pleasure and I'm so excited because season two is about to premiere and um we find out some really fun things I don't know how to explain it I I know it's you know me living in a nostalgic period but at the same time I loved doing that there is no disney channel anymore it's nothing it's just you know my sister or like my friends sometimes that was all we wanted to watch right this was comforting did you ever watch other disney shows in addition to yours absolutely it was even stevens lizzie mcguire that's so raven sweet life of course i knew every hannah montana song i was all i was all in i am a certified disney kid so i i do do you ever try to explain to your like little sister does she like sometimes not understand what the disney channel was yes and no she's she's so aware of like no i'm just gonna say that because because now there's there's platforms and there's these things so to her the world is endless where as before for me i would get home from school and I'd put on the Disney Channel 397 on Dish Network.

13:55It was something that I would always just go back to, and that was the reliable source. But you can find anything anywhere, and she's so just adventurous. So she likes, she's seen the show, but she's not interested in anything I'm doing, which is good. Does she understand how iconic the show is? Yeah. No. I will say I'm very happy. My sister's just, she's really, she's a very incredible 12-year-old. She's super enphased by what I feel like maybe other people would feel. She's not affected by any part of my life. She is a different last name. She's her own person, and I really love that. And she will come visit me on set, and she'll stay for a good 20 minutes and then say, all right, I'm good.

14:49And, you know, it's a very endearing and honest relationship. Even though she's 12, she's taught me so much. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And on set, so only murders in the building, which is awesome. Thank you. It's so awesome. Do you, when you signed on to do that and you started doing that, did it feel like this full circle moment kind of from Wizards to Only Murders? because like you're on another kind of similar, not similar vibe, but like, you know what I mean? No, the Huber and the texture is kind of similar. So I get what you're saying and I think that's accurate. I don't, I didn't plan for any of this to happen.

15:31It was an amazing opportunity that was presented to me. I'm obsessed with escape rooms. I will do so many fun, like different horror ones and I've gotten tasered in one of them. accident yes because i was so excited and they were like you gotta move okay but um i i just it felt something that was organic and natural for me to step into and to try and i don't think i really need to hesitate when it's steve martin and martin short um a lot of people can understand the gravity of of what those legends have done for comedy and at the same time i get introduced to their fans and my fans you know I hope to introduce them to their work because it's they're brilliant right have they taught you anything and have you and vice versa have you like you taught them anything about like the industry and just like life it's you know it's funny they ask me questions about how the industry feels now but it's mainly me wanting to know about their lives and I think the one thing I've learned is just genuinely feeling like you belong you know they they all the things that we worry about when you do get older you get to the point where it's just sit back and spread that with other people I don't know if that makes sense because Steve and Murty have been friends for 35 years and they've been best friends they've had you know tiffs and things but not really because they just understand each other and then they they bring that attitude to set they are so happy they're polite they love people they're always connecting with our crew and it feels like a big family so So I've learned a lot about etiquette, about humor, about timing, and just overall being a professional that has fun.

17:42Right. And that's what they do. Yeah. That's awesome. Oh. Oh, my gosh, I love you. Delivery. Why don't we just put it to the side? I love it. Okay. So you watched Disney, obviously, as a kid. When you booked Wizards, were you like, okay, well, this just must be the best day of my life? yes but it was actually a weird thing because i was on three pilots for the disney channel one was the spinoff of lizzie mcguire one was the spinoff of the sweet life of zach and cody and the last one was wizards so by then all of them didn't get picked up and i was just kind of at my wits end but not in a bad way i just thought okay well this isn't gonna work out and Wizards got picked up and my whole life changed after that.

18:32It was an immediate feeling of, oh, I achieved my dream at that point in time. I was such a huge fan of the channel. I was a huge fan of what they did for our generation and it was an honor. Like, I wear it proudly. I definitely am not ashamed of being part of the Disney high school experience. I mean, that was your high school. Oh, yeah. And that's crazy. I was thinking about that this morning. I was like, that was her, that like my high school was her Disney channel. Yeah, no, it was. It was all of us, you know. We were all, you know, from the Jonas Brothers to Miley and Demi. And then it was Zendaya.

19:20Yeah, it's just so cool to see all the people you so went to school with, if you will. It's good to see them all do their thing. It's like different grades. Yeah. That's crazy. But was it like you didn't know anything else? You were like, this is awesome. I just remember my mom being on my ass all the time about making sure that any sort of sudden exaggerated fan moment is meant to be treated with respect. So from the very beginning of booking Wizards, I just tried my hardest. And I think I tried too hard to make sure everyone else was happy. But it was okay. hey, I just, I loved making kids laugh because why is that not the best feeling in the whole world?

20:11And that was life-giving to me and she would always keep me super balanced. So I don't think it ever went anywhere other than the fact that I feel lucky that I get to be here and do this. Right. And then you obviously started with your singing career, Selena Gomez and the scene. And was that something you were like really passionate about early on? yes I remember I thought I'd be Paramore

20:38loved I mean who yeah everything about them and I thought it would be cool to have a band and it was great I really was experimenting I think it's safe to say that I still experiment with music I don't like to feel stagnant or to feel like I'm kind of in this repetitive nature of the same music I make. I do like to come at it with a fresh take. And music was always a part of my, I mean, my first job was Barney. It was singing, dancing, and acting. The worst acting and the worst singing and dancing, but it was also really fun and for children. So I loved it and I had the best time. So it's safe to say I was raised on these really colorful sets that brightened my life in a lot of ways.

21:34That's awesome. Yeah. Do you have a favorite Selena Gomez and the scene song? I guess technically who says. Seriously? Greatest. Because that's the scene, no? Yes. I know. I went the other day, so I was like, I can't find it on your profile. And I was like, yeah, it should be there. I sang it. And she, she, my friend Ashley looked at it and she goes, oh, it's under the scene. And I, I didn't realize that that was the case. But I mean, if you were to ask me, that is hands down my favorite. I mean, those opening chords, you know what's about to happen. Shit's about to go down. It's the most like powerful moment when I get to perform it.

22:16That's honestly the only reason I would ever do a tour again. To perform who says. If I could perform who says like 17 times. Yeah. It's such a high and it makes me feel good and I want other people to feel good. It's just I'll never forget what that message in that song means, you know. It's crazy because like as a kid I hear the song and I'm like this is like a banger. But then like I was listening to it today in the shower because I was like I was like I have you know I have like a date later and I was like feeling like insecure. Well, it's like, I can't tell if it's a date or not. Oh, okay.

22:54It's one of those. It's one, yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, well, are we going on a date or what's the vibe here? But I was like, I put on who says, and I really listened. And I was like, and yeah. It kind of cuts deep. It does cut deep. It's like the older I get, the harder it hits. I'm not even going to, like, I'm just going to embarrass myself. One time it came on in the radio about like three years ago somewhere overseas. And I remember just sitting there looking out the window and I started tearing up. And I was like, why the fuck am I tearing up to my own song? But it was because it was the little me who was there saying these really powerful messages that I still need to hear.

23:38What is that feeling like where it's like you are saying, like little you is saying what you need to hear today? Is that like a weird feeling? That's a very weird feeling. Considering back then I loved the song simply because I thought everyone could relate to this. But then when I got older, I still so appreciate that song because I relate to it in a totally different manner. It wasn't necessarily body issues and standards of society back then. But now when you hear those words, they mean a lot more. So I get really excited And yeah I haven't toured But every time I do a tour I have to take it down an octave From each year I sing it Because it's up here It is a high song I know I need to redo it I should recut it If you recut Who Says today Should I?

24:34My world would shake Maybe I should Selena my world would shake Because I really sound young Do you know how beautiful it would be to like have you having so much of like realized everything. Sold. Like, yes, like you have to. I'm so going to do that. It would seriously change my life. Okay, well, we'll think about it. We'll see what happens. Well, how is, okay, so you brought up tour. Do you like touring? I think touring is very bittersweet for me only because when you are in a band or maybe have a lot of friends with you, it can be easier but there became a point on tour for me where I noticed that every single person around me I was I was paying so all the nice things and experiences sometimes felt very transactional and I thrive off connection I feel like connecting to any person on anything from me loving her shoes to like asking about like where you got the cardigan it's all about connecting with people and I think that's something that was lacking for a bit and that is for me something I can safely rely on is just knowing that I can get back to the those moments and touring is very lonely right and it's like the whole day I feel like of everyone around you revolves around making sure you get on that stage.

26:09So how do you know what anyone is saying to you is what they mean? Because they at the end of the day, they just want you to get on the stage. They just have to be there. It's very hard because I care about people too. So when I extend my love, it's, it's genuine. It's just sometimes it's not given to the right people. So I wonder if maybe there's a new way of touring that I could do. Because, you know, when people ask me I usually say no but I'm sure there's a way that I could do it because the greatest gift is being able to share your music with all of those people in the room with you and that's that's all I that's the high you want that's what you want to do but that's 90 minutes versus hours in a bus in a hotel and all of that well Torian's also so hard on the body Very.

27:04Just like you're not sleeping and the travel. Did you sleep well? You bust, I assume, for some of it. I did. It's hard, right? You can't sleep on that bus. No, I don't really sleep well in general. But yes, back then I had the adrenaline rush of a show and I would come off and I would be ready to stay up until four in the morning. Right. Doing nothing, mind you. It was just the fact that my adrenaline was pumping through me. Right. Well, I hope one day I can hear who says we recorded live. You too. I do want to ask you about the new fragrances. Oh, yay. We have to talk about them. Tell me a little bit about it.

27:43The bottle is so cool. Thank you. Okay, so before we get all PR mode-y, the reason why I was excited to release a fragrance was simply based on the fact that I had the greatest two years of my life, and I spent about two to three years finding the scent but this was the scent that we ended up landing on after you know years of debating and when I would wear it because I secretly wore it every day I you know I got to I got to meet the love of my life and I got engaged and my album came out and only murders was you know coming back in and rare beauty it just felt like such a fruitful moment for me that I thought wow this is kind of what the bottle captures for me the scent at least right to me now scents are very tricky to do because there's a thousand and they're so good right so it's awesome but okay i'll start with the little bottle thing basically if you have any sort of arthritic or um dexterity issues we wanted to make all of our products easy to use so as i'm using one hand that is to lock it that's to spray it and then i can just use one hand to do that oh okay let it air and it kind of soaks in it's this caramel vanilla melts down to sandalwood kind of taste oh oh it's like yeah i'm always like taste i like flavors um so basically the bottle we modeled it after people who who it maybe only can or have access for two or they can even use you know this it's just it's all about what we want to do with rare is make our products accessible to absolutely everyone so but okay but the most exciting part for me are the layering balms right that's what i was like wait what are those so these are the layering balms basically it comes in four different fragrances and they're supposed to enhance the perfume that i just sprayed on you so let's say you're feeling like you want to do a woody this might wait do you want to like kind of have that smoky taste or do you want like a fresh or what would be good for like a date tonight fresh fresh right so fresh this is bergamot and it is so this is what i love to wear when i get out of the shower with a little spritz before i go to bed and i'm like oh i just smell like this yeah but i'll put a little bit on essentially you take the little caps and it's so it's incredibly soft and it you can wear it just as not that strong of a scent no and it's actually just something that kind of enhances the fragrance some of my friends have been using this alone right they'll use the flavors or i always call them flavors and my are flavors fragrance and i'm like no they're flavors but um i have the floral which is very rosy and romantic and and really fun the fresh that you have is more of a little awaken we have amber that adds more vanilla and it makes it very warm i'm sorry this will stop becoming a no this is i'm curious and then woodsy i'll let you smell it because i think you might like the scent.

31:23I know that's the one you initially It's really nice. I don't want to put too much but it adds that skin musk. You know what it smells like? Have you ever stayed at an Amman? Yeah! It smells like an Amman. Oh. I'll take that. That's a very good It smells like an Amman. It smells exactly like it. Yeah I don't know. So the idea for me is that hopefully people can create their own fragrance and they can mix the balms. They can use just the balm. They can use the fragrance the whole idea is meant for me to tell people this isn't just my scent and like try different things maybe layering it with some other stuff will feel good to you right just stick about customizing it right the person as opposed to saying this is the fragrance and uh you gotta like it or love it right you can play with it for a bit so in my purse i personally use the little to-go spray.

32:22I don't know if that, it looks like a Tide stick, so I'm going to call it to-go. And then I put all of the balms in a little rare beauty bag. It's a clear bag. So I just bring them all and I'm like, what mood am I in? Right. But I swear, we love, like I've worked so hard on these. I'm so anxious to see what people are going to say. But that's my little spiel. Well, congratulations. I can't stop smelling my hand. Oh, good. It smells amazing. It makes me happy. It definitely envelops that warm and, you know, comforting feeling. Benny has worn it on a lot of our dates. Really? He likes it when we're away.

33:03He sprays it. This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Or should I have Matt do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. So you just need to say Dot yeah When I say This episode of Therapist Is brought to you by Booking.com You just need to say Booking.yeah Ready? I just need to do it You're not even going to ask me I just have to do it Can you do it? This episode of Therapist Is brought to you by Booking.com You know he's going to be talking It's fine Matt please You're messing up his music Okay This episode This Okay I'm gonna say What am I saying again? Just yeah I'm gonna say booking dot And then you say yeah Okay ready?

33:56This episode of Therapist Is brought to you By booking dot com Booking dot Yeah Okay Thanks What are you listening to? Halloween music Alright Well it's It's July brother So I understand I understand Goodbye Bye Booking.com What can I You know There are just It is the number one place To book a vacation And I just got home From tour I am exhausted I don't think I want to travel But I want to do a staycation And I am going to use Booking.com to book it It is the easiest site To like maneuver And go around When you're booking a hotel Especially for like A large group of people Because you can put in All the requirements Like if you want it to be walkable If you want a terrace If you want a tub If you want a shower You can book vacation rentals on it You can book cars on it Like you can really create a full vacation on it.

34:46It is just the easiest site. Like as you guys know, on tour, we'd literally pull up to a city without anywhere booked. And Matt would be like, it's fine. It's fine. And then he'd go on booking.com and we'd have a place that suited all of our needs within literal like seconds. It's the easiest thing in the world. It makes staying somewhere else so much easier. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com. Booking dot yeah. Thank you, SeatGeek, for sponsoring tonight's episode. SeatGeek is the best place to get tickets for live events. And as you guys know, I think live events are like the literal backbone of our society.

35:21I think it's the only thing keeping us together right now. I always say this, but I missed it so much during COVID. I had like these feelings of like, I ain't go to enough live events. Like now they're all gone. And like to have them back feels, I feel so grateful to have them back. And SeatGeek really makes it so easy to go to them. I do have a code, Therapist10, for 10 % off your purchase. if you do want to buy tickets. And when you do buy tickets, the SeatGeek app makes it so easy as well. They'll show you events in your area. So like right now, Lady Gaga is here on her Mayhem Ball Tour. And you can click Lady Gaga and then it will show you how many tickets do you need.

35:59You can click two and then it'll show you a list of tickets. It'll have numbers from one to 10 on it to show you how good the deal is. Obviously one being not the best, 10 being the best. So you know you're getting a good deal. they also have all live events on so like comedy, sports Broadway plays, like they really have everything and there are so many incredible people on tour right now specifically Renee Rapp is about to be on her Bite Me tour Tate McRae is about to kick off the American leg of her Miss Possessive World tour like there are so many people to see and SeatGeek makes it easy to see them all.

36:33You can use my code THERAPUS10 for 10 % off. You can also click the link in the description of this video and it will download the app and automatically apply the code to your account. It is amazing. There are so many amazing people all at the door right now. Thank you, SeatGeek, again, for sponsoring tonight's episode. How did you guys meet, exactly? We met when I was 16 because we were gonna possibly work together. But I didn't start releasing music till 17, 18, and officially. So we saw each other around. It was nice. and then I don't know I feel like he was just an acquaintance if that makes sense and to be honest I wasn't like besties I just thought he was nice and then we did a few songs together same old love which was awesome we did a great time had a great time nothing really there and then I can't get enough which was with Tiny and J Balvin didn't get it there either i just thought he was funny i was just hilarious so funny but i didn't think anything of right also i was so not you know when you realize you're not in that place anymore you need to be where you are it's all about timing to meet that person because even if i did think oh let's take this a step further then it wouldn't have worked it just simply you have to be there mentally in order to move forward in something healthily right and um then we reunited for single soon i fucking love that song thank you it wasn't our favorite but i really fucking love that song thank you i love the music video i love the whole aesthetic it was such it is such a banger it was really fun just just just because i can say this because i'm marrying him just really wasn't what i thought i wanted yeah he came in and he agrees you know on a lot of levels but he um he just he just came in and and i was like oh benny hi benny and we spoke for two hours and I asked him to hook me up with anybody that he knew that was cute and he was like oh we do these things like dinner nights you should come and then next thing you know we're we're dating but he was terrified in the beginning because he's like it's work and it's company and people are gonna get mad and I'm like I don't give a shit kiss me yeah oh yeah so is it like Was it hard always with outside noise?

39:27Because there's so much outside noise in your personal life, in your professional career. Everyone has something to say about everything. How do you tune that out and continue doing what you love? Because it's not real. When you realize it's not real, we live in this monoculture right now where these people and a generation, a certain generation, will read something and take that as truth. instantly because i could leave here right now and say shane was a jerk right everyone will believe me if i said that is that a fact no because you're not a jerk but people 1000 % want to believe the first thing they see because they've got it figured out they know what it is and then you can't sway them to believe anything else right so they're all believing different things right so it once you realize that it's it's all just a lie and if you wanted to know more in depth about things that's kind of weird because you should focus on on your own life in my opinion i just don't really look at social stuff that way anymore i just think it's crazy there's there's too many options and i can't convince everyone to hear my side and believe my side it's just useless I know what's being said but I'm very much okay with who I am and I don't need I don't need to validate every rumor every lie everything it'll be new next week about something else and was that like hard to deal with as a kid yes I don't think it's fair to do that to someone especially even in their early 20s right that's why there's the whole thing about child stars and it's like scary and there's all these because you don't let the people live their life you don't let them become adults in a way that's exciting or healthy or inviting right they're just nailing down every wrong thing when you're just figuring out life well like your 20s like when i'm like like like when i was a kid and i would see people like you and whoever being in their 20s, I'd be like, oh, well, they're 20.