Session 95: Dylan O'Brien

29:53Well, yes. Yeah, but that's human. Yeah. Do you think they, well, I don't want to spoil it. I know. Do you think they became friends at the end? I have a, like, I have a really positive, yes, I would say, like, encouraged, hopeful take at the end. it is obviously kind of a story of these two guys who you know have this um connection in like a chapter of their life that brought them together for like a specific reason and it was like a really sort of like effortless and comforting kind of um relationship that served them at the time in a way that like at some point hat would have an expiration date but that doesn't mean that they're not going to have like a you know re sort of uh right textured um friendship going forward is what i would think right it was hard to watch there was moments where i had to pause it like in the little art museum pause i was so stressed out uh double date dinner pause i was like i was so stressed i kept texting louise oh i'm so stressed wait what stressed you about the double date dinner because But the guy from Abbott Elementary.

31:15Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, pause. I was like, I got to pause. So did you go to any food trucks in Portland?

31:24Yeah, what was their... Sandwich? You get that sandwich food truck? No, I never did. It's, so the food, I mean, obsessed with the food in Portland. It's amazing. I love Portland overall. Yeah, it's great. Food is a huge part of that reason. but there's so many other elements like that go into that as well. Like just, I'm, I'm a huge fan of Portland as a city. My favorite spots food wise, like we're, I don't even know that there, did you ever go to Real Men Tavern? Do you know this place? Real Men? Do you know what it is? It's just like a really dive bar-y place with like, that serves fried chicken.

32:04They have one fryer. So if you order fried chicken, it takes like over an hour to get to you. You know, that's tradition. But it's incredible. And it's a really, really good dive bar and really hokey funny. I mean, just an amazing, amazing place. Pizza Baby Doll. Do you love Baby Doll pizza? I hate pizza.

32:30Sorry, I didn't know what to do with that. Clearly, it just killed me. No, I hate it. I felt that. Yeah, I think it's just. I believe you. I know. Have you always hated pizza? I think one time, like, my friend ordered Domino's, and I was like, why would you order Domino's? Because I'm from New York. This is so fair, and, like, I agree with you. I don't hate pizza. Well, clearly you love baby doll pizza. Domino's, like, get the fuck out of here. I mean, to also not, you know, I don't know, talk shit about Domino's lovers out there or something, And it's just like, oh, you love it, don't you? You love Domino's?

33:10The eyes. The eyes. Well, she's from Alabama, so. I'm from Atlanta. Oh, that makes so much sense, though. But also, are you willing to say that Domino's, sorry, should we turn the cameras? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's God. It's a different thing. You know what I mean? Do you even put it in the same category as pizza? Is that a weird question? Girl No you can get better pizza delivered than that Well I hate pizza overall We know I like there's one type of pizza I like One Thin crust Truffle pizza It's the only thing I can do I know It's the only thing I can do Your taste I love your taste Really I love the range of you like Jersey Shore boardwalk blacking out with Snooki and then also being like uppity about pizza I'm obsessed with.

34:15I guess I do have range. Wow, you should come here all the time. We're having a great time. Oh, good. Are you? I'm really enjoying myself. Okay, I'm really enjoying myself too. And you would know if I wasn't. Really? Oh, yeah. You can't hide it? Not really, no. No, I can't. You're just like, I'm... No, it's part of the problem I have doing what I do. Got it. Well, not... Yeah. Like this stuff. Like press. Yeah. Understood. You know what I mean? I know what you mean. It doesn't serve me. Well, I think being fake would actually serve me so much more. It really would. It's funny because your job is to technically be fake.

34:52See, well, that's not how I think of that at all. Totally. That's okay. Hey, it's okay. Well, no, because it brings up an interesting conversation. I think there's definitely different, there's so many different elements that go into it, you know. I think, like, if by being fake you mean, obviously, inhabiting a persona that, like, doesn't align with yours necessarily, right? I think I just had received it as being like, well, I sort of only can, the only way I could even do it is by like going off of things that I know are real things that feel authentic or else it feels fake and then it wouldn't be good.

35:38Oh, no, I just meant like acting. Well, that's what I'm talking about. Fuck my life. What did you think I was talking about? I don't know. I don't know. I was talking about, I guess, like how I approach what I do. How the hell did we get here? Isn't it beautiful? What were we talking about? Pizza. Isn't this beautiful? It is beautiful. Pizza to this. Portland food. Right. Have you been - Food trucks. You asked me about food trucks. Yeah, bamboo sushi? No. Okay. Have you been to the Russian place? No. Okay. Was this all - Where did you stay? I stayed at this place called - Which quadrant? It was like a hotel and they had a thermal springs.

36:17Okay. Cascada? Cascada. I stayed at the Cascada. It's called Cascada. Cascada? It might be Cascada. Yeah, I think— But I would say Cascada, too. Where'd you stay? You stayed in a house or a hotel? I stayed in the very tiny little back house of a woman's property in—I was southeast. I have no idea where I was. So what were you near? um so like hawthorne uh like which was baby doll pizza uh um um the sandwich spot that i loved was oh my god i'm blanking right now getting lost in your eyes i'm blanking on the sandwich spot because my god those baby blues really

37:00um they're hazels it's right there all right it's gonna it'll but clearly we were in different areas yes Portland I'm so but you visited the set I was on but two days did you guys have like a similar run set uh I wasn't there very long I really don't like being on sets when I'm not working why because you just want to work no no this is interesting to unpack because I don't really know what it is uh uh I was actually thinking about it a lot after I left that set By the way, really quick, did you enjoy, was that your first time in a movie? It was my first movie. Did you enjoy it? Best experience of my life.

37:37Amazing. Like literally best experience of my life. Wait, so how did you come to this? Because even when I saw this, I was like, oh, I didn't know he acted. Well, basically. He didn't know either. Basically, I, um. Uh-oh. So I got, do you know Graham, the director? I don't, but I met him. Okay. I got dinner with him, Louis, and Kaya. And Graham was there, and I was crashing out over the sky. Okay. And I was just like, like really just having to full-on crash out for an hour. And then Graham was like, do you want to be in this movie? And I was like, yeah, I want to be in this movie. See, that's incredible.

38:21because I, you do have that kind of like energy that is like the type of infectious, you are just you and that is. No. No, that is like kind of, I can see, I would cast you and like, I'd be like you. Would you really? Yeah, like I would just be like. Well, you let me know. But I get it, I get it. And I'm commenting from somebody who, I would never like come to a dinner with somebody and have them be like, you should be in a movie. Really? Yeah, I would say so. Well, it's never happened, so. Okay. Well, maybe one day. And I'm even an actor. Right. Right. I go around with my card and they're like, yeah, we don't have space for you in this one, but thanks.

39:09I'm like, oh, you keep that. Right. Well, I do want to act. Like I'm taking acting classes. I was in hacks for a little. I did see that because I looked up your. You did? I did some research too. You did? Yeah. Sometimes people come and they don't know about anything. No, I did a little research. A little homework. I didn't watch the Snooki episode, which I don't know how the fuck I missed that. It's great. We meatball chugged. She gave me her messy mama wine. What type of music do you listen to? Oh, interesting. Can I guess? Sure. 80s rock? No. Okay. I mean, like, well, I don't. 80s rock, I guess what...

39:51I like some talking heads, sure. Bruce Springsteen? No, I'm not a huge Springsteen head. I know, I know. Listen, I'm not... I'm from nowhere. You're from North Jersey. Here's the thing, that is what I claim, by the way. But I claim most that... But then people don't allow... When you're from, like, because I moved as a kid. Hermosa. You did this. I did this. Yeah, it's like if you tell, I don't know, people have such opinions about where you're from. So I've just given up on trying to say, like I'll say, you know, I'm, I'll say I'm from the East Coast or I'll say I'm from New York area. I'll say I'm from Jersey.

40:32Or I'll say I'm from New York and people will be like, where? I'm like, well, like North Jersey. And they'll be like, that's not New York. And then I'll say. You say you're from New York? No, no, no. I say I'm from New Jersey. Okay. I'm just giving examples. Got it. Got it. People's weird opinions. Got it. You give East Coast to me. Deeply. yeah well I've only I mean listen I don't I also have like such a I went to like a total Cali stoner high school so I mean listen I didn't I didn't see myself where I went to high school it was a total culture shock and a crazy situation and then interestingly enough I like look at pictures of myself when I was like graduating and listen hear myself in videos and I'm like that is so funny I was just adapting and surviving you know it's so interesting Is this home base for you still or is the East Coast home base?

41:18I live in New York. I can't tell if I'm jealous or not. I know. I saw you go through that. Like, I'm about to go to New York. I leave tomorrow night. Really? Yeah. You travel a lot. Sometimes. Are you going to be in New York? I leave. I go back on Friday. You want to hang out? Sure. Where are we?

41:42When are you there till? The 14th? Yeah, I'll be around. We don't have to hang out. Do you want to? What? What were you going to say? Where are you staying, first of all? Tribeca. That's where I live. I mean, it's written in the stars. That is upper echelon. It's my favorite hotel in the world. I agree. I mean, you know, what's funny is even I got put up there one time for a press, and that's how I found the neighborhood. Do you want to hang out, yes or no? Yeah, I'll be there. Let's do something. Thank you, SeatGeek, for sponsoring tonight's episode. You guys might notice my shirt. If you haven't, it says Dance or Die, and it is from the Lady Gaga concert, which I went to while I was in New York.

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43:04I also, while I was in New York, I saw Tate's Miss Possessive World Tour, which was just unbelievable. Haim just started their I Quit Tour. Renee Rapp is about to go on her Bite Me tour. There are so many insane shows right now that you just have to see. I think live music is like the most, I always say this, it is the most community we will ever feel. We really miss it during COVID. We have it back. We shouldn't take it for granted. And SeatGeek makes it so easy not to. If you download the app, you can literally scroll, put in your area. It shows you popular events in your area. Sporting, comedy, music concerts, Broadway plays, literally anything.

43:38It has it. once again use code THERAPUS10 for 10 % off and yeah you have to see the Mayhem Ball or the Miss Possessive World Tour I'm actually going to the Miss Possessive World Tour again in LA because it was that good she is coming to a city near you and you have to see it thank you SeatGeek for sponsoring tonight's episode

44:02did I read this right did you watch every episode of Friends 11 times um you I don't think you read it wrong, but it was written wrong. Okay, you haven't watched Friends. 11 times. I don't know where that number came from now. I did watch Friends when I was a kid. You like comfort shows. Yeah, I haven't... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Friends is definitely a nostalgic show for me. It reminds me of my mother. It reminds me of my childhood. It certainly is like... I mean, even my mom would always...

44:39tell me things about like acting while watching Friends. So there's like certain like North Star things that I kind of look to and I'm like, oh, that's cute. Like that like clearly influenced me. Like I feel like I was a copycat of Matthew Perry from the first like three years of my career. That's how I feel about Snooki on the Jersey Shore. Let's talk about that. Yeah. So like I feel like You know like I Wanted to be her yeah I was obsessed With her but did you feel like you were emulating Her energy without even realizing it Well I just thought she was so Unapologetically herself And at first people in the house Did not fuck with her you guys yeah they did Not fuck with her she they were like all talking Shit about her yeah and then she just didn't Change yeah she stayed Snooki no I trust her The star of the show yeah this So this brings me to this is a good I love talking about this because I feel like people have such a like.

45:40I'm so down and maybe it's because I grew up on the East Coast and so like I'm more familiar with this type of energy. But directness to me is kindness in a way that I don't think people receive that the same way. Do you know what I'm saying? Do you think it's like a respect thing? I think that like I much prefer a person who might be perceived as like aggressive or like yeah uh or I don't know I don't know um I but I just think I way rather have somebody not conceal their feelings and tell you straight to their straight to your fucking face like if you've pissed them off or whatever without any type of like that to me is so much easier and comforting in a relationship.

46:29where you know where you stand in a way that I feel like most people, for whatever reason, are so allergic to that type of thing. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, I know what you're saying. And I was about to say I preferred the opposite, but then I actually was really thinking about it. And I think I agree with what you're saying. I would much rather if someone's angry at me to tell me why they're angry at me instead of me playing a guessing game. Yeah, and obviously we can, you know, yeah, there's certain levels of like, you know, line crossing and whatever and aggressive tendencies and tempers and things like that.

46:56But yeah, I just feel like so many people live dishonestly in a weird way that we're afraid to, I don't know, tell someone that they've hurt our feelings or say, hey, I'm sorry that I did that. You know what I mean? I feel like that's even— I'm a big apologizer. I love that. I'm a big apologizer. To the point where people say that it almost means nothing anymore, but I am a big apologizer. That's interesting. You over-pulled. Like, well, like my parents used to say, like, it means nothing. And I'd say, oh, okay. Oh, my God. They're so, they sound funny. Yeah. Just think about who could have made me.

47:38I am. Yeah. Just think about that. No, I love that. I feel like that's such a, that's so somebody that I trust. Do you trust me? As, like, implicitly as one can. Right, we mean we've barely known each other. Eating for an hour.

47:59See? Millennial. I did a look at my wrist watch joke. I love millennials. Do you ever watch Girls? I never watched Girls. You love Lena Dunham. More than anything. I love that. It's my North Star. That's my North Star. Unpack this for me. I love this. Only because I just am unfamiliar. earlier so i just think similar to like i just love people that are so themselves yeah she did girls she was so herself yes she just i don't know i that show changed my life that's amazing yeah yeah everything i've seen of it i've always felt like it looks really unique and like i would like it i think you would like it but i can't tell i can't tell if like when are you you're more of a movie guy you're saying you're like prefer movies to television but yeah but it's not as pretentious as that sounds no it doesn't it doesn't but like like i i i'll if you look at my like you know uh recently watched list i think it would be what's your recently watched i god what's the most recent thing i watched how comfortable are you sitting here while i think of this i'm so comfortable i just want to make sure you're having fun i know what yeah what were you I was just thinking sorry sometimes I rock back and forth wouldn't it be funny after I spoke about like being honest and then like I just wasn't having fun at all but I was faking it this whole time I think I would cry and question my worth see because it's confusing and scary and how can you trust a space like that when all of a sudden it's like wait none of that was real no you would know I'm telling you I think I would know too yeah and I'm not just saying that but I think I would I would know Yeah, you would know.

49:50Like, I... I have no skill to hide it. And that's beautiful. Well, at least for me in this situation. No, no, I agree. I'd rather be that way. Yeah. But also, I feel like... I also feel like I have no skill to hide it, but then I feel like... Maybe that... I don't know. I don't know. So what movies did you watch recently? Oh, yeah. I watched Showgirls a couple weeks ago That was the last one I watched Because I love Showgirls I've never seen it

50:27You must No that's the last Showgirl Oh yeah that was the last Showgirl No Showgirls is A masterpiece Oh I'll give it a watch Paul Verhoeven Director um you read basic instinct do you read ever i read i read in ways that are odd like the most recent thing i read actually i didn't read this i listened to it was uh demi moore's audiobook uh her memoir she's a memoir yeah she talked about the substance she doesn't great yeah so Or I have, you know, then my, I have such like, I'm such a like self-help book guy. Really? Let them? Right, like let them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know of that, but I haven't dove into that.

51:23That one hasn't consumed my life. I'm also somebody who yeah my output with reading I think is very sort of reflective of my ADHD I have ADHD too I was going to ask you that six minutes ago I'm not even kidding yeah I can't remember what it was that we did and I was going to be like was it the Adderall comment when you walked in oh no I totally forgot about that oh Yeah I was Yeah but you were like diagnosed as a child Um Sorry I said that with like such assumption No I don't think I was I think I don't even think I needed a diagnosis I think they were just like you have it They're like you got something Yeah like you have that Right but that's are you grateful for that My ADHD not particularly No no no for having it be Something that was like That you knew about from a young age Well no because I wasn't prescribed anything Copy so i wasn't helped interesting interesting but you could it but but in terms of your own sort of um like like mental learning about it and then learning about yourself and how you click and did you find like those things to be helpful no because i knew i had ocd too and oh they were and i knew i actually needed to get on meds for that yeah i couldn't because my dad was super against meds right and so that was i was frustrated how severe is your ocd really bad really really really bad what is like an example if you're comfortable oh my god i am so comfortable i used to like i used to when i was like when i would add a song to a playlist i would have to add it four times so when i would go i know it sounds stupid but when i would go through new music friday like i would have to like it would take me forever to like find the music i like when i would watch like netflix sometimes i'd have to watch a scene four times or whatever number i decided that day um i just like think about how anything and everything could be difficult everything was difficult yeah okay i used to cluck what's up i used to cluck like a chicken yeah so i used to count to to the number like two and like i would have to like really like emphasize the two like i'd have to cluck my tongue and so everyone would be like stop clucking was it just something that um that you were like it just came to me one day and you just felt like the like physical need to clear it yeah it was like i need to everyone to know i just i counted i get it what are you therapist about today wait what

54:14did you weave in the theme of the show again randomly and then and i was thrown for a second i'm sorry i just knew i needed to ask don't be sorry okay they held up like cue cards to you they were like back on track yeah that's you run a business you got a brand um

54:37You feel very happy-go-lucky. I feel like there, I mean, are there things you're angry about today? It's really funny that you say that. Why, are you like an angry guy? No. Oh. No, no, no. No, I'm not. I think I have like a life sort of that has I've I think I've had a lot of times in my life Of being surrounded by a lot of anger so I've had a lot of anger in my life And I think as an adult too I kind of Am Really aware of my relationship to that type of thing and Having like been brought up in those types of spaces I guess or at least experiencing those types of things and so but no actually I'm like happy to report that into my like adulthood it was actually like a really relieving thing for me to realize that no I'm not an angry person I just think that I grew up with a lot of angry people

55:45so it was a very early like language that I learned. So you want to like counter that by being like Maybe more positive? No, it's not even that. I still, I just don't, I, it's not my knee jerk thing. To be angry? No. Yeah. But like, yeah, I can get upset for sure. I'm a very sensitive person. Are you really? Yeah, did you not? I can't get that from you. Interesting. I feel like you have pretty thick skin. That's interesting. But I also just met you. I'm very sensitive. Yeah. Well, sensitive, yeah, I guess sensitive can have so many meanings as well. Like, um, really? Yeah. What do you think? I just like, I don't know.

56:29Like, there's so many facets of sensitivity, like in terms of, you know, in your relationships and kind of to other people's feelings. Where are you sensitive? Your relationships? I'm really sensitive to other people's feelings. Oh, so you're like an empath. No, wouldn't say that. Oh. Definitely wouldn't say that because I don't know. I feel like an empath is like, when someone cries, I cry. And I'm like, that doesn't happen for me. I never cry. So, yeah, I'm a pretty rare crier, too. Yeah, I don't cry. Ever, actually. That's interesting. Yeah. Do you want to talk about that? Well, the last time I bawled, do you want to guess?

57:09I talk about this every episode. Do I want to guess? Yeah, I heard a sigh from your manager. Because it's every episode? Do you want to guess when the last time I really bawled crying was?

57:25Sure. Take a gander. That's Patrick. Oh, I'm Patrick. Yeah. That's my father's name. Oh, wow. You are Irish. Oh, his name is Patrick Broderick O 'Brien. Yeah. That's Ireland. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Guessing on the last time you bawled Were you like Did it have to do with I was 19 And it was in college It was in college That was it I was 19 It was 2019 And what was it because of I was super fucked up Okay And I saw this guy that I liked to hang out with someone else And I started crying Outside of Macaroni Republic That's understandable I just looked at the camera because they all know Macaroni Have you been to Macaroni Republic?

58:28No I've never even heard of it actually Okay so they have a bunch of different types of macaroni

58:35That would have been my guess for Macaroni with Republic. You have a favorite restaurant in the world? In the world? In New York. You got another sign. Are you over it? No, I didn't mean to do that that time, I swear. I know that's why it's more compelling. Because this one is, felt a little over it, didn't it? Do you want to get into the Tell Me What's Wrongs? Is this another, oh, you're giving, you're like, move it along. What is up? Like, do you not want? Are you kind of like the brand, back on brand? What is the vibe? I don't know. She goes, I don't know you guys. Oh, I don't know, comma, you guys.

59:12Oh, yeah, I don't know you guys. Do you type really fast? I can type fast. Why, yeah? Because I was talking with somebody about this the other day on set in Portland, and we were talking about how in elementary school when we used to do the typing test. Yeah. That's all. I was gonna I was I would have been curious to know your relationship to typing you think I type a lot no because I think because you're like a because you're a decade younger than me I didn't know kind of what if the like I we were like learning typing like I remember learning typing when I was like 10 you know and but I guess it would make sense that you would be if anything more experienced from a younger age.

59:57So I did the opposite there.

1:00:03My roommate has a drinking problem. The problem is that they're not... Wait, what's going on?

1:00:12Tell me what's wrong. Okay, go. Oh, so sorry. I'm so sorry. How silly of me. Did you hear that? Yeah, are you okay? Yeah, I mean, I'm 34. Right. Do you ever go to a chiropractor? No. You go to therapy? Yes. Okay. I don't go to a chiropractor, but just recently I had like a neck issue that I needed like in the last year. Did you? Really bad. But like I, you know what, cleared it up. I was going to see a chiropractor for months about it and nothing happened and you know what cleared it up immediately. Physical therapy. Really? Yeah. I don't know if I have the patience. Sorry. I clearly held a little angst there against the chiropractic experience.

1:01:02You do acupuncture ever? No, but I have done it before. Cupping? Not a big cupper. I think it looks funny. I think I might be slightly phobic about the way cupping looks on skin. Are you scared of circles? I don't think so. What is it? Typrophobia? Trypophobia. Trypophobia. How do you know that so fast? Ryan has it. Oh, wow. Huh? Who's Ryan? His best friend. Best friend. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

1:01:32So they tell me what's wrong. The pussy's right in. Pussies. And they tell us what's wrong. And we just give them advice. Fuck yeah. Okay. Let me read. My roommate has a drinking problem. The problem is that they're not an angry or sad or even an annoying drunk. Even worse is that they're actually kind of fun, and I love going out with them. Sounds like me. However, they're waking up at like 1 p.m. every day. We're both in our early 20s. Do I do anything? I did that in college. Not to normalize it, but I did that in college. Yeah, I think the both in our early 20s things is kind of the answer there.

1:02:09I think if it progresses past that. Yeah, it's – they're living their life. They've got time to figure that out That's my take You gorgeous take How long have you been in therapy for? Since I was 25 Like me Correct But I missed therapy, I missed it today I guess technically it was 24 You missed it for this I was so excited to cancel I love canceling I was like oh yes Cancel? Because you feel like it means you're soaring? It's just like whenever I'm in therapy, last time I took therapy, I was shopping for clothes. So I was on the phone like shopping. Wait, you just do it over voice call in a store?

1:03:00You need to...

1:03:05How does the therapist feel about this? She's like, what are you buying? This doesn't sound like therapy. It's not. And I'm like, well, I'm getting my friend a birthday present. and I was like, do you guys have this in red? They did. And then I was like, one second, because I had to Apple Pay. And then I Apple Payed. And then sometimes I take it while I go grocery shopping. And then sometimes I run into people on the street. I'm like, I haven't seen them in forever. I love, I want to point out something real quick before we get too far past it. I love that you say that you take therapy. Yeah, like a class.

1:03:43Yeah. And I don't do well Cause at the very end She'll be like So your parents And I'll be like Gotta go I'll see you next week Right Yeah that's like Where it should be starting right Yeah she used to help me Get in fights with my friends over text She'd help me like Craft out messages It doesn't sound like Um They're challenging you No she's fabulous She went to Palm Springs The other weekend I love her Yeah this sounds like Your buddy Yeah she's my friend Yeah okay Okay Have you had the same therapist Since you were 25 Yeah You are so healthy mindset oriented. Really? I think so. That's hilarious.

1:04:18Okay. No, I mean, I appreciate it, but I think it's normal to not feel that yourself. All right, go ahead. What do we got? My boyfriend and I got back together based on all these promises that he would move out with me and be more supportive of me and my job, et cetera. We were together for seven years, high school sweethearts. We've been back together for four months, and I think we're getting back into old habits, fighting all the time, same old small shit. And now he just told me he isn't ready to move in with me. Could have told you that. Yep. That's pretty cut and dry. My immediate questions would be how long were you not together for, I would assume.

1:04:56A few months is what I'm gathering. I would assume it wasn't long and that even in those few months it doesn't sound like they were ever actually, they broke up. But if you have to get back together based on promises and those promises, those things aren't coming naturally to a relationship, why do that? Well, yeah, no, they so clearly just... Know nothing else. Yeah, just came back together fearing the unknown and the separation. And that's totally understandable, succumbing to that. But it sounds like it would be good for them to break up. Do you believe people change? Yeah, absolutely, of course.

1:05:36No, if anything, I mean, I was just talking about... not only do I believe that they change, I mean, but you, but you have to, it's not, it's not free. Believe me, it's not free. You got to work on it. Um, so like, yeah, I actually, I believe in change. I believe in like, I'm, I'm always kind of, uh, somebody who's more sort of like mini traumatized when, uh, people are kind of, uh, commenting on, you're changing as if it's like a negative thing which is i think more common than we think the other way oh yeah people are so afraid to see like the people that they know evolve into something else and and it's usually um there's usually like a negativity subscribed to it has that ever happened with you where you've been changing i'm clearly talking about uh yeah i mean i yeah sure I just think like changing and evolving, I really believe in.

1:06:42And I think that we, you know, I would support anyone that I loved for changing. I certainly wouldn't like hold them hostage to who they always were. Right. I think that's tough in the age of the internet. Interesting. Because who you are or who you were is now documented. Oh, God. Oh, forget that. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Crazy. Yeah. I want to become an actor, but have, like, no train skills or ideas on how to break into the industry. I live in OC, and I'm wondering if it's worth it to make the move to L.A. Thanks. Do we have an age there? Nope. Okay. Nothing. Yeah, give it a shot.

1:07:23Go. Well, that doesn't sound very enthusiastic. Well, because I'm in this goddamn business. um like i would say give it a shot flippantly like i did because i guess like it this it's a crap shoot anyway even if you were you know um currently in school uh unless you were somebody who like had connections and you were gonna like get representation out out of school you and even then like i don't know you you know you're you're sort of not guaranteed kind of i think opportunity is a very interesting thing in this business, but the things that you can control, at least, are, like, if you want to be doing that, then, like, do it.

1:08:09Go to LA. Find people who also want to be doing it. Make little things together. Make a short, write a short, you know? Write something for you to start and start. Did you do any of that before Teen Wolf? Yeah, I remember. Well, the YouTube movie kid. We talked about it. Yeah, but, like, I mean, when you got out here. It was like a big part of the conversation No I know but I'm just saying like Well no I was already No no no You start bawling It's now I was actually going to ask you You fake cried so wonderfully in Twinless That wasn't fake Okay So how do you do that? I didn't You just felt it Yeah It was awesome I've definitely fake cried on camera before That was...

1:08:55Didn't work. No, the one that you're referring to is certainly not fake. Oh, got it. And to answer your question how, I don't know. I felt so connected to my guy. I mean, like, I just, like, it... I don't know. It's... I was... I've never been, like, prouder of anything that I've gotten to do as an actor. And I've been doing this for 15 years. It really is so excellent. I texted everyone in my life about it after I watched it. I'm serious. It's amazing. It's amazing. Thanks. I mean, it was amazing. I had the support that I needed. You know what I mean? I just think that is also such a thing that I feel like gets lost in the fold sometimes with acting.

1:09:42Like, you know, your performance is only as good as the hands that you're in. and uh james um who wrote directed and stars with me in the movie uh he yeah just you know is a really special filmmaker and just person and artist and uh so it was it's just i'm so grateful to have had as fragile of a performance as that As vulnerable of a thing as that is to execute, you obviously, it's nice to have it be in hands that you really trust as well. How'd you and James meet? Like through this movie? Through this, yeah. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Read the script in 2020 for the first time, and we Zoomed in 2020, and I attached to the movie, and then.

1:10:34Oh, movies take a while to get made, huh? Well, this one in particular, it got passed on by everyone in town. Really? Yeah, babe. You know, that's always a telltale sign of a really big success. That's what they say. Yeah. I think it is. And then everyone's going to be like, I can't believe we passed. Yeah. If they even remember. Yeah. But I mean, it's no, it's like, it's like, you know, goes back to what we were talking about. You do want to get back to the cards? No, no. I was, I was, I was looking, I was, I was like, I wonder what the next one is. And I got, sometimes I get anxious. Wait, didn't we, did we even finish this one?

1:11:09No, we hadn't. I went on a fucking tangent. No, I think we, like, you know, it doesn't sound like you're encouraging her to move to LA. I wouldn't encourage anyone to pursue acting, which is, like, I think a really, which isn't fair of me to say. Because you are an actor. Yeah, but I didn't pursue acting. I got really, really lucky and happened to just be creating things for fun that happened to get seen by someone who happened to send that to someone else. and they happened to call me in, and that is my manager, my current manager still today. Oh, you're loyal. Loyalty is important. Oh, she's my ride or die, yeah.

1:11:48Yeah. That's how I feel about Louise. I get that from you. Really? Just the whole energy, yeah.

1:12:01So, my question was... You guys got a lot longer to go. Yeah, what was the question? What was the question? I went on a hike with my boyfriend and we came across a mountain lion. I was so fucking scared. This one's not real. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Sorry. That was mean. And so was my boyfriend. But the cherry on top is that he just ran away leaving me there. I ran after him and we got in a big fight and he said, I thought you would start running too, obviously. I feel unprotected. What do I do? Can I be honest? Yeah. I spaced out. I need it. That's okay. It happens all the time here.

1:12:34I need it again. Are you hot? It's hot in here. No, no, no. I'm okay. Okay. I appreciate that. What do you sleep at? night like cold me too yeah well you know what after this i'll tell you about my mattress it cools down at night oh yeah and it gives you your stats you i told me i snored for 13 minutes last night which isn't that long that's not that long i know i'm interested to know what was going on during those 13 minutes you might have been deep in room i think i was deep well it tells me how it tells me how deep it tells me how deep in from i get i went on a hike yes my boyfriend yes and we came across a mountain lion.

1:13:07Yes. I was so fucking scared and so was my boyfriend. But the cherry on top is that he just ran away, leaving me there. I ran after him and we got in a big fight and he said, I thought you would start running too, obviously. I feel unprotected. What do I do?

1:13:24That's probably one that you just got to let go. You think break up? No. Oh, just let go of that. Yeah. I think so too. I think he thought you were running after him. Yeah, and it's like you can't hold someone hostage over like a, I don't know, an instinct in a moment of panic and make it about you. I would do that. Then maybe it's just young relationship. You know what I mean? I don't know, which then is totally fair. And then that's not your dude. You got to go find someone who is going to protect you from a mountain lion at this age. Because that's what you want right now. I think we're a little more narcissistic in our behaviors.

1:14:07I don't know. I don't think it's narcissistic. I think like, you know, I'm trying to get in her headspace here. Well, I would be like, what the fuck? Like grab my hand. Right. Have me run with you. Why are you running away? Yeah. Without being like, let's go. Right, right, right. And that's, that I think it just tells, that's information about. what you are seeking, what you value. I think you're looking at this from a more mature standpoint where it's like, come on, let it go. He obviously thought you were running after him. Why wouldn't you run away from a mountain lion? Yeah, but if this is where she's at, if that's what she's seeking in a person in this current stage in her life, then that's what she needs, you know?

1:14:51And so, yes, assert to him that you needed that and I can't wait to hear what his reaction is. He'll probably say, well, next time run with me. Right, that's what he said. I thought that you were running with me, which is incredible.

1:15:06hi jake and sexy amazing guest that's you oh and they really wrote that oh yeah i am a serial drunk caller i don't drink too often but when i do everyone's getting everyone's getting wrong the next day i wake up to crazy i wake up to screenshots and people texting me about crazy shit i said help me remedy this because i like going out but i don't want to keep this up that's tough um well how to help you yeah um there's should be the i know that there's like apps at this point that lock your phone do something like this so get that there's a bigger thing here though that you think drinking problem i think there's there's different types of drinking problems that exist on this planet and and and i think one of them is that like chemically you just don't align and so if you're losing that much control when you do drink um that would be something to pay attention to do you like being in control because you're a virgo yeah like with that said i mean you would think that i was that i've lived a very straight-laced life and like i certainly have not but um um i don't uh i think i absolutely have a relationship to control based on many things outside of my forgoing nature.

1:16:24Oh, I've never heard it said like that. Yeah. It's like Game of Thrones. But I'm like aware of it. And so it's all part of my life's practice to kind of tackle the things that I know that I'm susceptible to. And that is certainly one of them. Did I lose you? Did you go somewhere else? Or were you processing? I was I'm processing yeah you're like saying like yeah I like to control things but I don't attribute it to only me being a Virgo yeah and like I don't think I'm a control freak like I I do a very collaborative thing for example you know so I think there's areas in my life that I very much put into practice like I you know I know that that doesn't serve me necessarily so I try to not be in control.

1:17:16I'm not, I don't know. No, I gotta, if you don't know, you're probably like not. No, I do. I think there's certain things that I'm very sensitive to having no control over. Like what? I mean, like this stuff, for example. I think a large part of like why I'm really, I've never been really good on the press side of my job is because like I hate kind of. Saying shit and then. yeah I hate people just sort of deciding that they know who I am I guess you know I think that's a huge one my care I'm very sensitive about my character me too interesting I don't know what why do you think it is for you it's a great question do you have what I mean yeah do you are you on to something for yourself for me I attribute it to like my like I'm very OCD So one of my things is like I feel like a bad person all the time.

1:18:12So when someone online says like he seems like a bad person, it's like almost validating what I think about myself in my head. Oh, that's interesting. So I'm like, oh, my God, if they think it and I think it, it must be true and I must be a bad person. Oh, that's interesting. So that's why it affects me. But why does it affect you? I mean, it can be a number of things. Like I think that I think like moving as a kid when I did did a lot of shit, you know, and I'm even. still discovering the depths to which that affected things, you know? You moved from Jersey to California. To Southern California, yeah.

1:18:48I was 12. It's a tough age to move. Yeah, it was awful. Also, a horrible place to move. I've heard of lovely stories of kids moving. And I find it fascinating because I just thought that no matter what, it was horrible because of my experience. But, yeah, so I don't know. Maybe sort of my identity or defensive nature of myself that I kind of had to have as a kid, even down to physically. You know what I mean? I think I'm just very quick to defend myself in ways that now, I don't know, in the way that they manifest now aren't necessarily as necessary as they once were when I was a child. and it makes sense that it goes back to your moving because like when you're 12 obviously you're being introduced to all these kids and like your character is probably being like attacked all the time so does it like ever bring you back there yeah i don't know if it's as directly correlated like in that way meaning jinx almost but i knew what you were gonna say

1:19:58but like there's gotta be like a sensitivity overall to just yeah i don't know i think i think it's the the yeah defending quick i'm very quick to defend myself me too but i try not to do it online i try to just do it and like that shit you can't you can't win that's but look i mean look i can't i don't i don't even have a relationship to being online because oh my god Yeah, you don't have an Instagram, do you? Yeah, because I can't. You can't? Did you ever have an Instagram? No, I never had an Instagram. I had a Twitter that was the only social media that I ever had. But then I had, yeah, I just canned that.

1:20:34I always had phases that I, I certainly have always been like this. I've always been this. I've always been me. Yeah. From the second I was made to get Twitter when like. Teen Wolf. Yeah. I remember they even made the account for me and someone was running it like the first couple posts. So I was like, well, I was like, well, no, I'll run it like this is, you know, and then I don't know. I went through varying degrees of my own relationship to that type of outlet or, you know, you always you feel pressure to have some type of relationship to it. Not just for your job, but like for society and like normalized standards.

1:21:11So I kind of always was trying to discover what the hell mine was. And it was a very sort of like ebby flowy fleeting different chapters of like me not engaging with it. And then and then engaging with it in like a way that felt authentic to me and then kind of going away from it again. And, you know, I don't know. It was until ultimately I was just like, yeah, this just isn't something that I've ever really wanted in my life. And so I'm beyond that. Yeah, no, not at all. Yeah unfortunately it very much serves me How so? I'm so addicted But you made a career Off of it Well that's the issue So I have to be on it all the time Yeah I would imagine Because I feel like anyone who makes their career off of this Is like really You're probably quite savvy with it I would like to think that I'm savvy with it Well yeah you are Thank you You're savvy Right You know what you're doing You ever seen The Sopranos?

1:22:15You know what? I haven't either I never have I haven't either There's been multiple points in my life Where I've geared up to like do Sopranos obviously It's so funny I hesitated Because I've always called it Sopranos Oh Is it Sopranos? I don't It's whatever you want It's whatever you want Right I have some Italian in me I've got an Italian grandmother Oh well that's very Italian It's like the most Italian it gets Sure I mean it's not like she's like

1:22:46It's not like that It's all New York New York Italian, New York Irish No one's got accents in my family Right You guys are like it's 3pm Shut the fuck up This is one of my favorite ones I've ever done I'm not even just saying that. Are you having a good time? This is amazing. Do you guys want to get in here? Because I just feel bad that you're... No, I said that they're God. Never mind. Which, by the way... I brought down... Did you know about religion and stuff? No. I was raised extremely atheist. Okay. My dad was raised Irish Catholic, so I think he'd go one or two ways, and he totally went the way of, like that's not going to be in my family.

1:23:36Right. I'm not raising my kids like that. Well, I'm just saying because I was doing skits. I was doing these little improv skits on Jesus the other day, and I did not know that Mary Magdalene and Mother Mary were two separate people. Yes. Yeah. Hold on. What do you mean you're doing improv skits on Jesus the other day? Oh, my God. You don't have social media, so let me tell you. Okay. I do these skits, so, like, I'll send them to you. Okay. If we exchange numbers. Okay. I know you want to because you looked at the wall when you said it. Okay. Yeah, we can absolutely exchange numbers. Okay, cool.

1:24:08And I don't like doing that. Oh, so we don't have to. Okay, great. No, I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding. So I do these skits. Wait, do you know who texted me the other day? Who? Speaking of having my number. Mm-hmm. Do you know Ariana Greenblatt? Yes, my queen. I just interviewed her for something. I knew her when she was 11. Really? How? We did a movie together. What movie? It's called Love and Monsters. It was canned by Paramount. But it's a really good little movie. Ariana's the greatest. She's, well, first of all, she's my Virgo twin. She's the 27th. Yeah, I was about to say, it was just her birthday.

1:24:49Like, literally always even knew that. We were, like, were jazzed about that when we were 11 and the hell was I? 27? Yeah. And she texted me and she was like, I love Jake Shane. I was like, that's so cute. Oh, my God. So you really, people said good things about this before you came on. To be fair, one person did say one really good thing about it. I'm not going to lie to you. See? You don't lie. Yeah, I trust you. But that was a really positive review. No, it was a great review. And overall, my publicist was very excited about this. Really? She said, you're absolutely adorable. Oh, you absolutely got to go thank her.

1:25:29She loves you. Yeah. She was really excited about this. Well, Dylan, what did we learn today? Is this another section of the segment of the show? It's the final segment. Oh, no. Really?

1:25:46What did we learn? I don't know. I feel like we had a really good conversation.

1:25:54The write-ins were really funny for me. the mountain lion one's crazy crazy I'm on the girl side she's probably a lot incredible

1:26:10what did we learn I don't know I think we talked I love talking good healthy conversation processing talking life stuff I really love that stuff I love one on one conversations me too the more and more I get older the more I realize that I'm not, I'm so overstimulated and not necessarily thriving in big communal spaces where people aren't talking about anything. It's just like, hey, hey. It's just like drinks and noise, which I did have fun in for a long time. But I really value conversations. Oh, that's what I was going to ask you, actually. Do you prefer your 30s to your 20s? Oh, I mean, well, I think you kind of have to just out of, Otherwise, life is sad.

1:26:57But yeah, they're such different colors. I know that I had such an abundantly colorful and crazy and also regretful and also wonderful time in my 20s. I would not want to be there now. I'm totally like comfortable with kind of where I'm at and how I'm operating and who I feel like I am, you know, today, which is really nice. And so, yeah, I wouldn't want to leap back. I feel like that happens a lot. I feel like. Yeah, that's how I feel about my teenage years. I don't want to go back. I mean, people have whole ass marriage. People, men have whole ass marriages, have whole ass families and then leap back.

1:27:46Yeah. And I just think that that's not. No. Oh, something I want to do. Well, I guess what I learned is you're pretty healthy mentally. That's really sweet of you. I also learned that you pick up on other people's behaviors really well. Like, you know, when I get anxious, I look at the wall. Yeah, I know. It's like in another life you were an interrogator. Well, I love behavior. Really? Yeah. What do you mean? Like, I don't know. I think I've always been really in tune to people's behaviors. And it's so, it's why I love reality TV. You know what? That does make sense. Did you ever watch The Real World?

1:28:26Yeah, of course. Yeah, I didn't. I think I watched one season. No, like raw reality is, yeah, I don't know. I think that's, I think, I can only assume that that's like a large part of the reason that I end up doing what I do, I guess. But yeah, you were really lovely to talk to as well. And I think that you're way more mentally sound than you think you are. Really? Tell me more just to point you out. Well, what I'm getting from you a lot is like you're, you think you're like a hot mess. That is how I feel, yes. Yeah. But I feel like you're like really not. Hey, thank you so much. That's so great.

1:29:07Or at least if you're in your own hot messness, I feel like you handle it really well. Like I love that you just like, I don't know, you feel really. There is a value in really feeling comfortable here for me, if that has any value to you. Of course that has value to me. Okay, great. I'm so happy you felt comfortable. I loved it. I really did feel comfortable. Well, thank you for coming on Therapist. Thanks for having me. Anytime. And I had a terrible morning. Really? I can never tell. It's true. Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah. Why was your morning? Oh, so that's what you're a therapist about. Oh, we never did that.

1:29:46Never. And I didn't want to put pressure on you and ask. But like. It can't be spoken about anyway. Okay, that's fine. Yeah. Well, Dylan. I'll see you in New York. Yeah, baby. Really? Yeah. Swear? Yeah. Cheers. Eyes. Do you want to give a little bye, pussies? Yeah. Oh, bye, pussies.

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