Pride, Prejudice, and Peer Pressure

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1:37If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled and all the others equally well-married, I shall have nothing to wish for. Okay, Ramteen. Where are we right now? I'm going to let you into a secret room in my mind where this book by Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, lives rent-free. I mean, I've never read the book, but I've heard of it, obviously, like everyone else. I also know you're obsessed. Yeah, I mean, look, it's a book that I've loved since I was a teenager, for sure. And we're getting into Sit by a Fire and Read season. In my case, you know, a virtual fireplace on my TV. And I've been revisiting it.

2:19So let me take you there. Let's go. We're in a small town in southern England, turn of the 19th century. Lots of green and rolling hills. Think Great British Bake Off, but more corsets and candles. Pristine. Yeah. And we're at a ball. To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love. Since this is a public ball, the room is packed with local townspeople. There's a small band of musicians playing in the corner. But our real focus is the Bennett family. Five sisters who are at the dance with their mom, Mrs. Bennett. Their dad, Mr. Bennett, stayed home because he hates things like this.

2:59That would have been me, 100%. I'm Mr. Bennett. The sisters, they're all really different. Lydia and Kitty, the two youngest, are attached at the hip. They're both boy-crazy teens. Then you've got the middle sister, Mary. She's a little quirky and wants to play the piano all day. And then we get to the two oldest sisters who are very close, Jane and Elizabeth Bennett. Elizabeth Bennett, I know that name. She's the driving force of the story, and she comes up in our pop culture like almost as much as Hamlet or Scrooge. So, as the sisters are mingling, their mom is getting drunk and loudly talking about how they need to find a husband.

3:35And then, cue that scene you've probably seen in a million movies. The gust of wind, the doors swing open, and in walks... Vampires. Get out of here, Romty. Anyway, so these two guys walk in who catch the eye of the Bennett sisters. Mr. Bingley. Good looking and gentleman-like. He's a solid, nice guy, maybe a little boring. But more importantly, he's just bought the biggest estate in town, so he's loaded. And his buddy, Mr. Darcy, who's actually even richer than him. The ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley. But Mr. Darcy lacks people skills, to put it mildly. And he also refuses to dance.

4:16What a contrast between him and his friend. Mr. Bingley eventually goes over to him and is like, there's so many cute girls here. But Darcy doesn't agree. You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room. Mr. Bingley's been dancing with Jane Bennett. But okay, he says, what about her sister Elizabeth? She's not too shabby. Then Darcy turns to look at Elizabeth and within her earshot says, She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me. Savage. If I heard a guy say that about me, I'd probably wallow for a while. But Elizabeth? She told the story with great spirit among her friends, for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous.

4:59Basically, she laughs it off and vows never to dance with Mr. Darcy. But you get the sense that on some level, it really hurts her. And this is kind of the foundational scene of the book, the beginning of the relationship between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, The Pride and the Prejudice are set. That was actually more fun than I thought. It was going to be honestly. But like, why are you bringing this up now? You know, I've actually thought about this since I was a teenager. That's when I first read Pride and Prejudice, when I sort of fell in love with the whole Jane Austen universe. And like as I've gotten older, being a first generation immigrant, being the daughter of Palestinian refugees who fled a place that had been colonized at one point by the British.

5:49I didn't think about that. I had a little bit of an identity crisis. I was like, why am I like so into these stories that this British woman who was born in the 18th century wrote? It's like what part of has always kind of turned me off from this genre, actually. Very, very fair. Right. But like, I know I'm not alone. I know there are millions of other people who are also hooked. Yeah. And then I saw that, you know, December 16th, 2025 is the 250th anniversary of Jane Austen's birthday. So I was like, OK, let me use this as an excuse to finally look into this. I'm down. Oh, good. I should say there's going to be spoilers, obviously.

6:28I'm going to keep it real. I'm not going back to read all these books. So I'm up for the spoilers. I'm here for the journey. OK. OK. I actually assumed you were going to say that. And so my pitch to you is if by the end of this episode you are a Jane Austen convert. Okay. You have to choose one of the adaptations to watch. Okay. And then you have to geek out about it with me on a Through Line Plus episode. All right. I'm hesitantly down for that. Let me walk you through just a few of them. Okay. So there's this classic 1995 one. I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. Bridget Jones' Diary.

6:59I'm afraid I'm a bit hungover. There's a Bollywood version. I hated seeing you with Wickham in India. There's a Keira Knightley version. When did you first discover the power of poetry in driving away love? There's one with zombies. You're undead. And there's one that takes place on Fire Island. Fire Island? Uh-huh. I'm trying to see the Bollywood one. It's called Bride and Prejudice, by the way. All right, I'm excited. Here we go.

7:35Hi, this is Jewel from Toledo, Ohio. You're listening to ThruLine from NPR. Part one. Can we trust a first impression? It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. This is the very first line of Pride and Prejudice. It sounds familiar. What a hilarious sentiment, right? Today. It's so characteristic of Jane Austen that she starts with a sort of ironical version of that world where everybody's desperate about getting married. Jane Austen is saying that, but she's laughing at it. Oh, did I mention I'm going to have some experts slash Austen superfans helping me out today?

8:23His name is John Mullen. Okay. I'm professor of English literature at University College London, and I'm the author of What Matters in Jane Austen. John has spent years dissecting every word Austen has written. When I was a teenage boy, I didn't quite realize how wonderful she was because nobody got shot and, you know, nobody traveled down the Congo River and nobody hunted a whale in the Southern Ocean. You know, it's just some people making mistakes about who fancies who and who doesn't fancy who. I bet that's what you thought when you were a teenager. Well, look, when John finally gave us in the time of day, he realized this focus on ordinary people living ordinary lives was their greatest strength.

9:07That's kind of liberated the novel, I think. Let's jump back into the world of Pride and Prejudice with John as our guide.

9:19My dear Mr. Bennett, said his lady to him one day, Have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last? Mr. Bennet replied that he had not. But it is. Mr. Bennet made no answer. In the first chapter after that famous opening sentence, what you get is almost entirely dialogue between these two people you've never met before, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. Do you not want to know who has taken it? Cried his wife impatiently. You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it. this was invitation enough. It's pretty clear to any intelligent reader that he is sort of teasing her but she doesn't understand and the subject of the conversation isn't the arrival of this rich young man in a neighboring estate.

10:09What is his name? Bingley. Is he married or single? Oh single my dear, to be sure. A single man of large fortune, four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls. How so? How can it affect them? How can you be so tiresome? You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them. The Bennets have five daughters. None of the daughters are going to inherit the estate because it's left to a male descendant. Mr. Bennet, he hadn't made sufficient provision for his wife and daughters. I think it's a mirror. I think it's a mirror to her reality. Who's this? Lizzie Dunford. She's the director of Jane Austen House, which is the actual house where Austen lived the last decade of her life and finished writing Pride and Prejudice.

11:05I tried to coordinate a visit, but, you know, it's not in the budget. Anyway, so Lizzie, you know, She told me that the book is really reflecting the world that Jane Austen actually lived in, where women like her and like Elizabeth Bennett can't inherit property, can't work in most professions, and mostly depend on the men in their lives for economic security. How do they deal with that risk? How do they find a safe and secure home? They do it through marriage. Basically, Jane Austen is creating these characters that are in the same situation she's in. I mean, similar situations. So here's what we know about how she grew up, what her life was like.

11:45She wasn't actually super wealthy, which surprised me when I found that out. She only went to school for a year, but her father taught her, and she began writing short stories at age 11. She just had this natural gift. and her father was loving like Mr. Bennett, but also like him, didn't have a lot of extra cash. So when he died in 1805, Austin and her mom and sister, Austin was 29, relied on her brothers for support. And that's a big difference from the Bennett sisters who had no brothers. And she's 29 and unmarried. She and her sister never got married actually. Which has got to be unusual to be unmarried at 29.

12:26Was she actually able to make money from the stuff she was writing? So it's interesting. She was writing for a long time, decades before she started publishing, around her mid-30s. But it wasn't actually enough to live off of, even though they were very popular books. And that's pretty much what we know about her. We've got around 160 letters that she wrote and some collections of memories and anecdotes from people who knew her or say they knew her. That's it. There were more letters, but her sister actually burned them. What do you mean burned? Threw them in the fire. Likely to protect her privacy.

13:01Okay. But there is this small part of me that wonders if maybe she was covering up a scandal. But that's totally fan fiction. Yeah. That's the asterisk. Yeah, you're such a conspiracy theorist. I love it. I love it. Okay, with this stuff. Yeah. But okay, so I see this like kind of parallel in the book with economic struggle, the kind of social chess game these people were playing. You're picking up what I'm putting down. I try. And even just from those first few pages in that conversation between Mr. and Mrs. Bennett, you're getting a good amount of this. I'm going to keep it real though right now.

13:38And maybe because as like a guy with a family, you know, now, I don't know about Mr. Bennett, Ron. Okay, tell me more. Okay, like, he's kind of funny, but like, come on, man. How are you going to leave your family out to dry? Like, there's something about that doesn't stick right with me. Yeah, yeah. I have a very different read on him now versus when I was 15. When I first read it, I liked him. I thought he was funny. He reminded me a little of my own dad. Yeah, he's got the hokey dad thing going on, right? Yeah, he didn't, like, take all the marriage stuff so seriously. And for me, at that time, I was, like, growing up in a conservative Muslim household.

14:13You know how it was. Yes, of course. marriage was not this like far off thing. It felt like something that was very serious. So anyway, I liked him then. When I reread it a few weeks ago, I had the exact same reaction to him as you do, which is like, dude, you needed to step up. You didn't. So now they have to rely on marriage as a last resort. Interesting. It's like Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy, in a way they are like lifelines, like potential lifelines for the girls. Exactly. And all of it depends on if the Bennett sisters can win them over, which, as we know for Elizabeth Bennett, doesn't get off to a great start.

14:50She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me. And I think what Austin is really pushing us to do in these early chapters is take a closer look at how first impressions are formed. We all have this instinct. Yes. When we meet someone, we're making a snap judgment. And that really shapes, like, how we interact with people. It's the foundation of dating now, right? Like you get on the app and you have like literally a second going through pictures, quick blurbs, boom, boom, boom or whatever. So everything is about the first impression now. in some ways we're still navigating a version of the same social chess board that Elizabeth Bennett is navigating right and like we know for her Mr.

15:32Darcy gives her the ick like right off the bat right um but she's then playing the field and she meets this other guy Mr. Wickham what a name remember his name okay Wickham I'll remember that he he makes a really good first impression on Elizabeth. He's a man in uniform, a soldier who's passing through with his regiment. He's handsome and smooth talking and they flirt and laugh. And he talks a lot of ish about Mr. Darcy. So he's got beef with Mr. Darcy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They got beef. Mr. Wickham, he tells Elizabeth that they grew up together and Darcy's father liked him, Wickham, more. And when he died, Darcy cheated Wickham out of his inheritance out of jealousy.

16:14So he's basically setting up Darcy as this, like, extremely sketchy guy. Yeah. Okay, so if you're counting, Elizabeth now has two potential suitors. Darcy, who she hates. Wickham, who she's into. And then she gets a curveball. Her cousin. The heir to the Bennett home. Mr. Collins. Her cousin. Yeah, we're not gonna get into all that, Ramteen. Alright. It's a different time. I'll just say it. Mr. Collins is a silly man. Austin describes him as a mixture of servility and self-importance. Like he thinks he's more charming than he is. Yeah. And he decides Elizabeth should be his wife. But by the way, only after finding out her prettier, older sister Jane is already expecting a proposal for Mr.

17:03Bingley. Long story short, he proposes. Almost as soon as I entered the house, I singled you out as the companion of my future life. He tells Elizabeth all the reasons this marriage would be a good deal for her. Like, obviously financially. Yeah, he knows she's not inheriting anything, but she can't bring herself to make the practical choice and rejects him. Her mom's going to crash out. She does. She calls her headstrong. Headstrong? Foolish girl. With no idea what's best for her. But I will make her know it. Then she runs to Mr. Bennett, screaming. Oh, no. Oh, Mr. Bennett, you must come and make Lizzie marry Mr.

17:45Collins. Mr. Bennett raised his eyes from his book as she entered. And what am I to do on the occasion? It seems a hopeless business. Speak to Lizzie about it yourself. Tell her that you insist upon her marrying him. Mrs. Bennett rang the bell, and Miss Elizabeth was summoned to the library. Come here, child. I understand that Mr. Collins has made you an offer of marriage. Is it true? Elizabeth replied that it was. Your mother insists upon your accepting it. Is it not so, Mrs. Bennet? Yes, or I shall never see her again. An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day, you must be a stranger to one of your parents.

18:32Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins. And I will never see you again if you do. Elizabeth could not but smile. I absolutely love this scene. Because this moment when her father backs her up, it tells her, not only do you have the right to choose, but your choice is right. Which confirms for Elizabeth that she really does have the world all figured out and that she's amazing at reading people. I sense a but coming up here, though. Coming up, everything Elizabeth thinks she knows, and we know, will be turned upside down.

19:17Hello, this is Bryce Gehling from Tent, Ohio, and you're listening to ThruLine by NPR. Part two. Are you allowed to change your mind? Till Elizabeth entered the drawing room at Netherfield and looked in vain for Mr. Wickham along the cluster of redcoats there assembled, a doubt of his being present had never occurred to her. Is this another ball? Is this all these people do? This one is spicy, I promise. I'm ready for spice. I want to hear it. Balls are a big deal in Jane Austen novels because it's a way of meeting possible partners and a world in which you're not supposed to really be alone in the company of a young man if you're a young woman, unless you're engaged.

20:06And I think it's got quite a sort of erotic voltage, actually. So Elizabeth has just arrived at Netherfield, the estate Mr. Bingley owns, where he's hosting a private ball, meaning invite only. Elizabeth is really excited to see Mr. Wickham again, that soldier she's into. But then she overhears someone say, I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman here. He's not going to show up because he's avoiding Mr. Darcy. Because they got beef, right? They got beef. And in the middle of complaining to her best friend about Mr. Darcy, guess who shows up to ask her to dance?

20:46I guess he dances now. Well, Austin, she's let us, the reader, know that he's been secretly pining for Elizabeth since the moment they met. Without knowing what she did, she accepted him. Elizabeth has no idea why she says yes. A detail I love, by the way, because who hasn't made, you know, an impulsive decision like that and then questioned their own mind? Yeah, of course. Anyway, her friend tries to console her. I dare say you will find him very agreeable. Heaven forbid! That would be the greatest misfortune of all, to find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate. Then the dancing begins.

21:27At first, they're not talking. They're just moving in silence. And then Elizabeth decides... It would be the greater punishment to her partner to oblige him to talk. So she makes some small talk. Darcy responds with a few words, not a man of a lot of words, and then goes quiet again. She addressed him a second time with, It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples. He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said. Very well, that reply will do for the present, but now we may be silent.

22:07Do you talk by rule, then, while you are dancing? Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. I can't tell if they're flirting or arguing. Look, they're definitely sparring. And I think Austin is trying to tell us that intellectually they're on the same level. But then Elizabeth brings up Mr. Wickham. The effect was immediate. A deeper shade of auteur overspread his features. Yo, that shot's fired. Oh, yeah. She's trying to push his buttons. Yeah. I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave. that your resentment, once created, was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created.

22:50I am, said he, with a firm voice. And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice. I hope not. It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion to be secure of judging properly at first. May I ask to what these questions tend? Merely to the illustration of your character. She is not playing around. Yeah, this whole scene, you kind of feel like they're doing this dance. I mean, a literal dance, but also this kind of like verbal dance. And they're in their own universe. Everyone else is just white noise. And, you know, right after this, you get this sense that Darcy's pretty conflicted because he's very into her.

23:33But thinks her family is pretty embarrassing. Her sisters are flirting with everybody. Her mom is openly gold digging. And he even tells his friend Bingley not to marry Elizabeth's older sister, Jane. Wow. Mm-hmm. But not long after the ball, he decides to shoot his shot with Elizabeth and proposes. How does that go over? She's totally blindsided. And, like, the way he proposes, he's basically like, you know, I've tried really hard not to be into you because you're poor and your family is trashy. But I can't help it. I love you. Which I think he thinks is romantic, right? Like, against all odds, I love you.

24:12Uh, but Elizabeth is basically like, oh, okay, thanks for telling me all the reasons I suck. And she flat out rejects me. Good for her. Honestly. Her exact words are, uh, I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry. What a way to say, like, you know, piss off, right? Yeah. I don't think there's anything he could have said in that moment that would have made her overlook the fact that Darcy totally messed things up for her sister. Yeah. And remember, Wickham's words are still in her head that Darcy is a cheat. Yeah, this dude's like a villain. He's definitely a villain in her mind.

24:46And he's completely oblivious to that. But I think there's something in the way that she says it that's really striking to me, right? She's like, you are the last man on earth I'd ever marry. So I think what Austin is telling us is like she senses this connection they have. And she's trying to just like push it down because her head is telling her something totally different. So, OK, I feel like Jane Austen is like tapping into something very real that many of us experienced here. Yeah, for sure. And is that kind of what Jane Austen is signaling that she's tapping into something personal? I've wondered a lot about this, too.

25:28It's the million pound or million dollar question, right? This is Devaney Lauzer. She's a professor of English at Arizona State University. And she has a new book out called Wild for Austin, A Rebellious, Subversive, and Untamed Jane. That's a very good title. It is. She told me that Austin's love life is kind of a mystery, like a lot of other things about her. But we do have some clues about where she might have drawn inspiration. From her earliest years, she was interested in fashion and balls. There are secondhand accounts, thirdhand accounts, referring to her as a husband hunting butterfly and a flirtatious young woman.

26:05Now, this is weird because she never got married. Well, OK, so she never got married, but that wasn't always a given. You know, like when she was young, preteen, teen years, she had a bunch of random boys who were passing through the house because her dad had students, you know, stay with them. So she's doing a lot of observing, probably flirting. And we don't know how many proposals she got, but we do know she definitely got at least one. She was engaged for, you know, less than 24 hours, but still. And then she broke it off. She sounds messy, man. Again, why I think there was a scandal in those burned letters.

26:41But anyways, there was also this supposedly four-week whirlwind relationship. To call it a relationship is probably a bit much. Lizzie Dunford again. I would say it's a flirtation. He is a very gentleman-like, good-looking, pleasant young man. This is how Austin described the guy in her letters. He was an Irishman named Tom LaFroy. She describes flirting and dancing with him, and then she says he's going to go away. At length, the days come on which I am to flirt my last with Tom LaFroy. And when you receive this, it will be over. My tears flow as I write at the melancholy idea. He's like her Darcy, it sounds like.