258. Does Christmas Change Your Mood? PLUS! Apple's Lost Leaders, Veteran Talent and the Top 1% of Employers

23:27Leanne:and our judgment of others i think the main thing here al is is is it's a theme that we talk about a lot in in businesses in civilian life anyway in that we're very focused on individual problems and we're not dealing with the systemic problems and this is true in this really significant career transition from military into civilian life and I think what's really sad is that the things that the veterans were talking about and that James identified as things that would make a difference aren't outrageous they're not expensive they're not beyond the experience of an organization they would have anywhere with any employee so they're asking things like better mentoring work experience potentially before leaving the military coaching and structured onboarding honestly the amount of problems that could be solved by structured onboarding.

24:13Leanne:Recognition. I think that's my word of 2025, right? So it's not about praise. It's about that acknowledgement of what people can bring to a role and how their individual and unique experience can really add value. And I think this is a real insight from James' dissertation that stood out for me that kind of sums everything up. If organisations focus less on developing individual leaders and more on fixing the systems around them, both performance and wellbeing would radically improve. Bravo, James. Bravo. I'm guessing the link will be in the show notes. A link to James's LinkedIn profile will be in the show notes.

24:45Leanne:And I'm sure if you get in touch and if you want to read his original research, he will share that with you. And we will be sharing more studies like this in the new year because these are the real human research stories that I think are full of passion and full of just a genuine drive to want to make workplaces better. So if you just finished your MSc, PhD in business or occupational psychology and want to get your findings on the show, get in touch. We would love to feature your work. Beautiful. Beautiful. Okay. So I think we're going to take a short break. After that, we've got Truth or Lie, where we dispel popular myths.

25:20And we've got kind of a lighthearted one, I think, this week. And then we've got the world famous weekly workplace surgery, where I put your questions to Leanne. We'll see you in a second. Hey, welcome back. It is time for Truth or Lie. This is the myth-busting weekly segment, where we take a big psychological claim and say, is it true or is it a lie? you'll remember we've done sleep we've done birth order we've done lie detection we've done power posing this week a little more light-heighted light-heighted light-hearted we're asking a question that shows up every single year is the christmas spirit an actual psychological thing the question is does it have any scientific basis or are we just imagining it lee thoughts yeah so

25:59Leanne:is the christmas spirit an actual psychological thing and does it impact on mood and behavior you excellent question and you know what i was genuinely surprised by how much research there is into the psychology of christmas yeah what a joyful thing to do yeah i think i might miss my calling go back and do a phd in christmas oh that'd be nice phd in christmas i'm i'm trying to think like some kind of pun and i can't carry on we we've actually just fun fact i edited it out we've spent the last 60 seconds trying to figure out a pun and we couldn't so um if you think of one get in touch we'd like to know yes so yeah christmas christmas spirit let's start with case four al shall we um there is research that shows christmas does reliably change people's emotions yes so several studies show a clear seasonal pattern in mood so one large survey published in applied research and quality of life examined what people actually experience at Christmas, so not what they say Christmas is about, but how it makes them feel.

26:59Leanne:The researchers found consistent emotional shifts, including stronger feelings of togetherness, more nostalgia, a rise in positive effects, so just feeling a bit happier, and for many people, a meaningful boost in life satisfaction. Nice. I know. The key point of this research was that these emotional changes weren't random. They were tied to specific Christmas-related experiences, such as spending time with loved ones, familiar rituals shared meals and moments of reflection in other words the glow was measurable secondly people behave differently at christmas and we can actually explain why so another study looking looked at christmas consumption patterns so buying stuff people found that people weren't simply buying because of more commercial pressure they were buying because it was tied to a symbolic social meaning.

27:51Leanne:So basically that giving gifts or hosting dinners or helping people decorate, they were all behaviours connected to basically us signalling care and generosity and belonging, which when we get back also makes us feel very good. So researchers argue that these rituals tap into deeper psychological motives, which strengthen relationships again, express identity, so who we are as a person, and reinforce group membership. So when people say that they do feel more generous at Christmas. The research suggests that they actually do. And Christmas nostalgia boosts well-being. So I thought it was quite an interesting paper, looked at how people think about Christmas memories and found that recalling past holidays increased feelings of meaning, comfort and emotional security.

28:33Leanne:And it wasn't childhood specifically, as you might think it would be. It was a sense of continuity. So this is what we do every year. So yeah, psychologists class that as a self-regulation strategy, which basically means ways that we can help stabilise or our mood, reduce loneliness and again reinforce identity in terms of the way we feel about ourselves and think about ourselves. And all of this nostalgia can be triggered by things that might seem quite frivolous. Music, films, again rituals, food, the smell of pine or cinnamon. That's my one. It's always my first thing as I change my air fresheners over to like an apple spice.

29:09She does do that, isn't she? She does.

29:11Leanne:I do. So yeah, there is some good evidence that says that the Christmas spirit is real and has a positive effect. But of course, there's always another side to the coin. So in terms of against, Christmas can, as I'm sure will be no surprise to anybody listening, can increase stress. So there's a paper, which I thought was one of the best named papers ever. It was called What Makes for a Merry Christmas? Oh, that's nice. And it basically found two groups. So people who experienced Christmas as joyful and people who experienced Christmas as stressful and the stressed group scored higher on financial pressure, workload, emotional demands and family conflict so for them well-being did actually decrease during the holiday period so it's not that Christmas spirit is automatic it heavily depends as you suggested out on personal circumstances.

29:59Leanne:Materialism is also linked to lower well-being so several studies have found that when people focus on buying stuff so spending gifts then their mood actually tended to decline and this was a study from the Journal of Happiness Studies that basically said that Christmas values that emphasize family, reflection and spirituality predict higher well-being whereas values centered on present status and spending predicted lower well-being. So the whole commercial Christmas that can get a bit icky, yeah it does, it dampens our Christmas spirit and does reduce our levels of well-being. another interesting one apparently there's some research that says that social comparison can peak at christmas what do you mean by social comparison so basically comparing myself to other people okay right yeah like scrolling instagram going oh look at look at them they've got it so great generally around christmas time then you can you find yourself comparing yourself more well not you but one might find oneself okay yeah yeah exactly yeah comparing yourself to other people and particularly with social media of course it's become even more apparent so one study on holiday well-being noted that comparing your christmas or your home your family your decorations your presents your plans um with idealized versions um which we see all the time don't we um increases loneliness and lowers mood um so again it's it's all about connection with and i think this is what it comes down to in terms of christmas spirit is if we're getting that connection from our friends and family even from strangers in terms of our giving in generosity then yes the christmas spirit is real um christmas can shift mood it can increase connection and well-being and help us be more emotionally stable but it isn't automatic and it depends what christmas looks like um for you really um so yeah the christmas spirit is real but context is very very important.

32:01Yeah, interesting interesting. There's a couple of things you said in there. Traditions do you know it makes me smile because at your parents house we have, we're probably the same with most couples, we alternate between parents this year it's a gopsal which is Leanne's maiden name a gopsal Christmas and so when we go there your dad always brings through in the morning a glass of sherry is it?

32:19Leanne:Yes, yep which I'm not convinced that it's a new bottle, I'm pretty sure it just gets used once a year so it's probably about 10 years old at this stage but it's not a question of going oh I could really do the sherry it's sorry by the way if you don't drink this podcast is mainly about drinking isn't it I'm sorry about that but it that does make me smile because that's like kind of a little bit of a hug of like oh this is lovely this is lovely so there's those traditions um the other thing is that I it really doesn't even give me the ick it really makes me angry the whole like I'm getting for Christmas and this is what I want for Christmas and is my list and you know they my husband only spent 500 pounds on me whereas I spent 300 550 pounds on them and And I, bollocks.

32:56Sorry, I got that angry. I banged my microphone. You don't do that. To be honest, like secret, Leanne and I don't really buy presents for each other at Christmas. We don't. Because our presents is present enough. But then we also do drive about 5 ,000 kilometers round trip from Mostar in Bosnia, as a governor, back to the UK to go and see people and come back and everything. So we do spend a bit of money on that. But even if we did, like I know for Leanne's birthday, I can spend anywhere between£30 and£130 and it doesn't really matter. It matters whether I bought her a hat that I think she's going to like.

33:30One of your favourite things was socks, wasn't it? I bought you some big fluffy socks.

33:33Leanne:Yeah, yeah. I think they were about six quid. Yeah. I think it's a meaning to it, isn't it, that makes a difference. And I think this is a key thing that if you are feeling this pressure is that knowing that, even if they don't necessarily realise it, all these material things doesn't have a positive impact on wellbeing. so you'll be better getting something that's really thoughtful maybe look at some past pictures and print them off and frame them yeah um just those little more personalized gifts i i think are going to be much much better um similarly i think as well it's just engaging those traditions so if you're having to like be you know if money's a bit tight and you're looking at a social calendar and going i don't think i can do everything this year it's picking the ones that are have always but a tradition we've done it every year since i was 10 maybe don't maybe don't skip that one because the impact that it's going to have on your well-being and the the well-being of other people is going to be quite significant and you know what if you are gonna if you are going to compare yourself to others how about you maybe look a bit more openly and generously and compare yourself to people who may not be doing quite as well at this time of year you might be struggling who would really do with you phone them up and going do you want to come around for a cup of tea I've made some mince pies, people who might be isolated, maybe they don't live close to their family or they're not, they don't have a relationship with their family, people who've experienced grief, anyone that you know financially, it's been a hard year, you know, there's going to be people out there who are going to not be feeling great at the moment.

35:04Leanne:So anything you could do, those just small acts of inclusion, getting someone around for a cuppa, checking in, yeah it's it's gonna make a massive difference more of a difference than you know so to summarize the christmas spirit does exist it's true that it exists however it affects people in different ways so it might be the christmas spirit lifts one person up and they're like having an amazing time and then it might actually decrease the happiness of someone else yes particularly if that person doesn't have a very strong social support network has had a particularly challenging year financially or in terms of grief, then yeah, it could be that the Christmas spirit isn't going to have the best impact.

35:47Leanne:So it's important to look out for those people and give them some love. Yeah, just be nice people. Okay, that was lovely. That was lovely. Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas. So we've got, so that's the end of this segment for this year. We're going to pick it up again around about the second week in January when we come back. We are now on to our final workplace surgery of the year. This is the world-famous weekly workplace surgery we're going to put questions to Leanne. If you've got a question for Leanne, then check the show notes, send them over. We love it when we get questions which are a bit tough.

36:16We also love them when we get juicy questions. Like, has it gone out yet? No. No, right.

36:23Leanne:We've picked our workplace surgery question of the year that's coming in our first highlights episode. Yeah, which will be next week, this time next week, I think. And it is a good one. It is. It's a good one. Okay, so on to the question number one. Is it unprofessional to skip the office Christmas party? we don't have an office Christmas party well we do there's just the two of us we do it's less of a party and more of a pint isn't it hi Alan Leanne this year's been oh I'm sorry for laughing now I feel really bad now hi Alan Leanne this year's been tough I was passed over for promotion they said there was no roles available only to create more of those exact roles and give them to someone else at the same time we've been handed more work it's been split across two teams no extra pay very little support now the office Christmas party is coming up is during work hours so it's technically optional but very much expected the thing is i just don't have it in me i'm exhausted demotivated and genuinely don't feel like celebrating the very people who've made work so difficult this year i told my manager i wasn't planning to attend and he said it might look unprofessional and hurt my chances of promotion in the future is that a real risk leanne should i suck it up and go or is it okay to sit this one out there's so many clues in here um that you are just on your on your last fudge in terms of this job your fudge basket is empty very much so you've been passive of promotion you've been given more work less pay or no extra pay little support these are all things that that are going to get you on the fast track to disengagement it sounds like you're already there um so i don't i can't imagine this is an organization you're going to want to hold on to very closely in 2026 so i'd imagine you're already looking for another job if you can um do you know what the only i would say go to the christmas party right i would say find somebody on your team a work colleague that you like and go i really don't want to go but i'm going to show face show willing my manager said it might hurt my chance of the future so i'm gonna go and just say hi and let's go together so we've got an ally let's go whatever it is have a drink have some food leave at the earliest possible opportunity with the excuse that is during working hours you're currently you're handling more work than you ever have before that's split across two teams so i'd love to stay a bit longer but loads to do guys you know what it's like gotta gotta get back to it um and then get out probably i don't know depends what the party is but i'm thinking like an hour to an hour and a half should probably do it and if you've got yourself a little wing person there it's just gonna help I don't think you should go to suck up I think you just go chat to people that that you come across make sure your manager sees you and just make sure you get in the eye range of whoever the important people are that might want to want to clock you at this event because who knows if it's going to hurt your chances in the future and even though then you might not see much of a future here who knows what's going to happen with the economy next year there's rumblings of all sorts at the minute um it might be that the job market is really really tough so with that in mind you don't want to make it harder than it already is so there might be a little element just playing some office politics just to not make your life worse as you're starting to transition out the organization would be my thought very diplomatic and it's probably the most the very sensible thing to do um just yeah like you say turn up and that's a good idea about finding an ally because um i am incredibly socially awkward and so whenever i go somewhere i always like hang on to leanne or find someone who i know same yeah like i don't really want to go but generally when you do go you do have a you know you have a good time um and and even if you don't like leanne said you've shown your face so sounds like decent advice it's not probably not the answer you wanted to hear, you wanted to just go, no, it's fine.

40:13Just stay, just don't go. But go with

40:16Leanne:a plan. Yes. Have an ally, set yourself a time period, get your face in front of the people who need to see you and then get out. Yes, absolutely. Okay. So on to question number two, again, occupational health. Now we had a few of these the last few weeks. We've got the lovely Harry from Smart Clinic, who's been answering these for us. So here is the question and it's actually from, I believe, an employer. Yes, from an employer, isn't it? So we've got a long-serving employee who've been struggling with chronic back issues. They've raised a few concerns about the working environment. They've asked more than once to be referred to occupational health, and we did eventually make a referral, which resulted in some recommended adjustments.

40:56Since then, we've tried to implement what we can, but the employee has now submitted another formal request to COH again. My question is, from a legal standpoint, are we obliged to approve an OH, that's Occupational Health, referral every time they ask for one? Or can we do it internally? Now this person says, I want to do right by them, but also need clarity on what's required versus what's considered best practice. Lee.

41:19Leanne:Straight to Harry Kramer at Smart Clinic. This one's right up his street. There is absolutely no law here that states that you have to oblige. And if their request isn't reasonable, then you could decline this if you feel like it's justified to decline that request. It may be, for example, that they've only just had an OH assessment. It could be that they've had an OH assessment. They don't really like the advice, so they've asked for another one. As an employer, I certainly wouldn't be agreeing to it on that basis. It's not a case of just keep going until you get an OH report that you like. So if you feel like the better approach would be to manage it internally first, yeah, go for it.

41:55Absolutely fine. However, if there's been a sensible length of time between the initial assessment and the latest request, then cost aside, why wouldn't you make a new OH referral? It may be that there's a new health condition or a new diagnosis that that employee would like to discuss, but they prefer to discuss it with a clinical professional directly rather than with yourselves. All it will do from your point of view is provide more expert clinical advice for you to base your decisions on and frankly it may just prevent you from inadvertently discriminating against that employee on the grounds of disability which at this stage you might not even know much about so in that sense it could be helpful for you too lovely simple answer there do you have to approve

42:36Leanne:an occupational health referral no brilliant love that obviously some do once but um but yeah i think again it's with these it's kind of what you have to do and what you want to do as an ethical responsible employer to help this person but yeah i think harry answered that perfectly thank you so much. I will leave a link to Harry and Smart Clinic in the show notes should you want to learn more about them. On to question number three. Is my manager quietly sabotaging me? I'm fairly new to my role. I'm filling a post they struggle to hire for. And while I may not have all the official experience, I'm the only one doing the job right now.

43:09And I think I'm doing it quite well. Well done. Yes, I think you're doing well too. A while back, my manager told me I lacked experience and suggest I apply for a less senior role. Since then, I've noticed a pattern. I raised concerns offer fixes suggest plans and they get brushed off and then reappear later with his name attached oh yes sneaky sneaky snake same ideas just coming from him at the time i feel like i'm second guessing everything am i overthinking this leanne is it just my ego or do i start need to protect myself with paper trails and written records yes yes you do yes you do friend this

43:43Leanne:sounds like a dodgy situation yeah um oh do you know what i think there's a lot of managers out out there um who aren't probably doing it with the intention necessarily but are doing things they're just having a really bad impact on people there's a few things here that i think we need to unpick out you said you're quite new into this job it's a bit senior for you put into it as a placeholder but time marches on so i think it's understandable that your manager might be asking questions about your capability or keeping a close eye on things um and i think as well at the beginning of your career there is an element of more senior people taking credit for your ideas yeah i think in my first five six years i'm not sure i ever worked in a company that didn't do that to some extent yeah i think that's kind of the way it sadly is for a lot of managers um because they misunderstand that actually the point of being a good manager is to make sure that everyone in their team is smashing it um very visibly so there is an element of that i think there's a there's a there's understandably beef here because you're doing the job and your manager has brusely suggested that you look for a less senior role and this is very very hard and i've actually been in this scenario when i've been in a role and it's been suggested to me that i might be better in a less senior position um and i said no i'll be fine i wasn't fine i was eventually but not in the short term right um so i think there is an element here of your manager might actually just be wanting to to protect you to not want to stretch you too far to the point where things could break or you're out of your depth it might be that a case of your you know you're almost ready for this role but just not yet my thought would be leave the credit thing aside for the time being but yes absolutely start protecting yourself in terms of paper trails and written records on everything and appreciate the experience the stretch experience you're getting I would ask for a one-to-one with your manager and talk about more things like I'm still in this role I have been for a few months I think some things I'm doing really well at other things I think are clear development areas you see that as well which is why I suggest I looked at less senior role can you tell me from a mental perspective what can I be working on to be ready for this role what could I be working on to mean that my performance is improving whilst I'm in this role are there things that you think I should be looping you into much more frequently because they're higher risk areas just leading with openness with curiosity and from the perspective of I'm in the role there's still nobody else to fill it I want the role we both recognize that I might be lacking in capability experience in some places can we put together a development plan that ideally would keep me in this role long term or will allow me to stay to step back into this role in six months time I think having that conversation is really going to give you an idea of where the intentions of your manager lie if they're like yeah absolutely let's talk about this we can we can look at this aspect your development we can look at this we'll check in weekly blah blah then you know you've got a really supportive manager who just thinks right now you're a little bit out of your depth if they brush it off and just say no you're not ready I've not got the time to do that whatever other excuse then I would think that that perhaps yes your manager is quietly sabotaging you for whatever reason but i think having this conversation will give you more information and also hopefully a way forward with your manager to develop you into this senior role in a way that is more sustainable and successful yeah well said well said um rarely there's very few people in the world who are truly evil most people are just doing the best they can with the information they've got and this sounds to me like yes they probably are screwing you over a little bit in fact i'm Well, most certainly they are.

47:31But think about the motivation. Why are they doing that? Probably to cover their own ass or because they're intimidated by you. Yeah.

47:39Leanne:There you go. Yeah. Gather more data, I think we're both saying. Gather more data or just send some dog poo in a box to this house. Okay. Right. So that is all for now. Remember that our holiday content, which we're calling it because we're podcasters, we're broadcasters, we call it holiday content. Basically, we've got a load of nonsense starting this Thursday. we're bringing you our 2025 highlights we bring your expert predictions and lots more and don't forget you still got the time to enter the competition offered by last week's guest rob galvaroski he's giving away six weeks of coaching plus his book to one amazingly lucky listener and 10 more are going to get the book plus a session with him yeah you can go to rob kalvaroski.com forward slash reason i will leave that link in the show notes to get the find your reason tool and enter the draw you've got until christmas day to enter so time is ticking um and honestly even if you don't win get the tool it's really good it'll help you start doing some work that's gonna really help you in january 2026 it's gonna be here before we know it and make sure you don't miss thursday's episode as i said we'll be getting into our christmas and new year groove that concludes our business we will see you very very soon bye bye