224: More Drama Than a Country Song..

26:04Okay. Because country music needs a lot more fiddle in it, needs more mountains in it, needs more prairie in it. And I grew up on a ranch in Wyoming, so that's just always been my M.O. in country music. Okay. Do you have horses? Grew up with horses, but now that I live in Nashville, we don't, but we just bought a small ranch in Wyoming. So that is in our near future. Maybe some ponies again. To get some horses, yes. I grew up on a farm in Minnesota. Oh, awesome. Grew up with horses. Beautiful up there. Have them now at our place in LA. In LA? Yeah. Okay. So if you have horses in LA, then there's no excuse for me not to have horses in Nashville.

26:42That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I need to get on that. I know. I mean, you've got a song. Horses are faster. Oh, I know. Come on. Half of my, yeah. Half of my music has horses in it. So... It's time. Yeah. It's time. Yeah. Okay. Let's get into this first one. I'm really, really curious to get a guy's take on this because the writer is a woman and I think you're going to have some insight. So this is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for not wanting to go to dinner after my boyfriend's friends removed me from their photo? And I'll give you a little bit more details.

27:20Okay. I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend is really into drag racing. Occasionally, we go to the track to watch them and his friends, along with their girlfriends, are all there. My boyfriend and his guy friends head off into the pits and look at the cars and whatnot, so I stay on the bench with the girls. My feet are really swollen, it's super hot, I'm dying a little, and I'm ready to go home anyways. Well, the girlfriends all decided they wanted to take a group photo. They set it up so that all are in the picture and I'm seated at the end. We are getting ready to leave and go to dinner, and I needed to use the restroom, so I go.

27:58When I return, my boyfriend mentioned that he saw a group photo, but was curious where I was in it. I told him I was sitting at the end. He showed me the photo that they had posted, and they cropped me out of it. I was really hurt by this. My boyfriend ended up asking them why they took me out, and they told him that, quote, I didn't look like I fit in the picture. Oh. They were all dressed in a certain way, and I made the picture look off. That gutted me even more when he told me on the ride to the restaurant. I was in tears and told him I didn't want to go in and wanted him to just take me home.

28:37He was upset and told me not to take it so personally and that they weren't my friends anyways, and I could just go and be with him. That hurt me even more, and I said a few mean words to him about choosing them over me. I ended up being taken home, and now he's still mad at me. Am I the asshole? I have a pregnant wife right now. Yeah. Is that why you chose this? That's why I picked it. Very smart. I figured you'd have a good take on it. So being married for four years, having a five-year-old boy, math doesn't quite add up there, but don't look too much into that. You always have to choose your spouse over anybody, Even if you don't think that they're right, you still have to choose them.

29:28This story, yeah. Husband is for sure in the wrong. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

29:39Also, the other girlfriends, bitches. I love that you said it. I'm like, just mean girls. Getting such mean girl energy. Yeah. And it's hard to make friends. Like as a woman, it like it always just feels so hard to make friends. Yeah. Those are the kind of girls that you don't want to be friends with if they're cropping out the pregnant friend. That's like crappy. That's just asking for it. You know, she's 36 weeks pregnant, ready to pop. Like I'd want to sit down, too. I've got kinkles as it is almost. I'm not even pregnant. Like, like, come on. It's just it's such a low blow. And then to like get mad at her that she doesn't want to go to dinner with the same.

30:18That's wild. I wouldn't want to go to dinner either. They just said she doesn't look like she fits in. She also seems like she's pretty nice. Like she's questioning if she's the asshole instead of being like, no, he's the asshole. She's being like, hey, am I? Yeah, she's like second guessing herself. Yeah, that's very, very obvious that he is the asshole. But really, the girlfriends are the main assholes there. Yeah, I would say. Do you find it kind of concerning though that like, even after she kind of says how she feels that he's now like mad at her, ignoring her. Yeah, that's even worse. I know.

30:59That's even worse. And like, he's not going to get anywhere. Wives, they will always win every single argument. So the sooner that you can wrap your head around that, the quicker that it's going to be, the easier it's going to be for him. Him dragging that out for days. That is just, that's wild. That's wild to me. It is. So top comment on this one. not the asshole. They all agree. She did no wrong. You deserve a new significant other. Let me rephrase this for you, OP. One, you participated in an activity your significant other enjoys, even though you're pregnant and it was physically uncomfortable for you.

31:35You don't appear to be really in a drag racing yourself. This is 100 % you doing it for him. Two, you were social with people who were not your friends for an extended period of time, even though you aren't really under an obligation to. Three, these people treated you like shit. Seriously, what immature bratty middle school nonsense behavior. Four, you were justifiably hurt. Five, proceeded to get upset at you that you were hurt. It's wild. Like when you think about that. Yeah. You're like, I was just trying to tell you my feelings. Yeah. And now you're mad at me because I'm human and I was sad.

32:12I would agree that she probably deserves another significant other. Because, one, I would never ask my wife to do that. Because I know that being pregnant is very uncomfortable. And hanging out with random people that turn out to be biatches. That's just not, you know. Like, why would you even ask your wife? And then she's a trooper and does it. That's like, you know. It's hard. It's like, man. It's hard to put yourself out there. Okay, I've got one more story for you. This next one is coming from True Off My Chest. Eight hours old at the time I screenshotted it, which was like midnight. It's titled, Entered My Husband Into a Contest and I Feel Guilty About It.

33:01I, 42 female, went on a girls trip last weekend with three of my best friends from college. We are all still very close and these trips are good for the soul. a great way to stay connected. During happy hour Saturday night, the topic of men's underwear came up. Don't ask how, I can't even remember. One of the girls suggested we all ask our husbands to send mere selfies of the undies they were wearing that very second. And we would compare and vote, and the winner had to buy a nice bottle of wine. It all felt very fun and silly. So I texted my husband to snap a selfie in his undies for me for a contest.

33:40And he did. I texted him back an hour later and I told him congrats. He won. Oh, wow. Nice hubby. He replied with just a question mark and I explained the silly game and that he won the vote. He wasn't mad, but he was surprised that I didn't tell him the context of what was going on. He wasn't aware I was going to show off the photo to my girlfriends. I immediately felt awful. And what seemed like a silly game suddenly felt like a breach of trust. I admit, I got a little pride and satisfaction from showing the photo because he's fit and looks good in underwear, which somehow made me feel even worse.

34:18My husband let me off the hook and said he's not too upset. He joked that he'd be more mad if he would have lost. But I can't help but feel lingering guilt. uh yeah I would feel that way too my wife would never do that but um I guess what would you like assume if your wife like did text you and was like hey send me a picture for a contest for a contest I I would question what kind of contest first so the husband maybe just had some blind blind trust for his wife but that's what being married is all about It's like you just trust your other, you know? Yeah. So kind of the husband's fault for not questioning what kind of contest, but also the wife should have just been clear about it.

35:07Yeah. I guess too, like imagine roles were reversed, right? Like you're out. Oh, dude. Yeah, right. That would be like. Yeah. She'd be so pissed. Well, it's like, that's such a vulnerable thing. Like, let me snap a picture in bra and underwear. And then show it to all of your friends. Show it to my buddies. Oh, she'd be so pissed. That would be insane. Yeah. Yeah. That is a good point. Yeah. That is a good point. I would be distraught. Yeah. Like, that's something that's so intimate. Yes. And I guess, like, for me, I'm like, maybe contests would, like, go over my head or I wouldn't realize. Yeah.

35:40But, like, that would be really bad. Yeah. That's a good point, flipping the roles. Yeah. Because guys are, like, pretty chill about that stuff. but girls that feel like they're more protective of their bodies than guys are. So that's a really good point. But at least she feels bad about it. You know, like she's not on there being like, hey, this is my husband's fault. So she seems to really understand it. And the fact that he wasn't like overly pissed off, but just a little pissed off, that seems like they have a healthy relationship. I think so. And like, it's untrue off my chest, right? Like she's not asking, am I the asshole for this?

36:24I think she kind of does know, yeah, I'm the asshole. That's why she picked this forum, this subreddit. Gotcha. The comments kind of eat her alive. Ooh, okay. I know. They really… So much so that she actually deleted the post. She was like, I can't have this up there anymore. So top comment. If this was the other way around, you'd probably feel quite violated. So the guilt is understandable. If it was the other way around, people would be telling her to break up with him. Like people are basically being like, if he did this to you, like they'd be like divorce. Like that's so shitty. Next comment.

37:03Yeah, this is fucked up. Thankfully men just have to feel okay with this kind of thing. And it seems OP's husband has been conditioned well to turn that kind of thing into a joke. And it's going to just end like that. Yeah. Yep. I'm a woman and this is 100 % bullshit. It just goes on. We could scroll for days. Wow. So I think she really, the message was sent. I'm surprised that the women really attacked her. You know, I feel like we're getting to a place, at least like from me and everything I see on Reddit, it feels like we're getting to a place where when we hear these stories, we kind of always imagine the role flips.

37:44Yeah, which is very smart and healthy to do. Yeah. And so if it's like if the roles were flipped and it's bad, then it's like it's still really bad. Yeah. So I think that's like a good perspective to have. That is a really good perspective. I'm going to start doing that with my wife. There you go. Okay, I've got some hot takes for you, okay? Okay, let's do it. If you think it's a good hot take, give me a yay. If it's bad, nay. Okay. Being friends with your exes is fine, and I even think it's a green flag when people are still friends with their exes. uh friends that is uh that is a kind of a broad term i would say uh if you are respectful of that's yay but if you're like close with them and they're hanging out that's probably nay crossing some boundaries i'm with you moms should get more say in the baby's name than dads 60 40 60 40 that's what they say yay i agree with that okay i mean she's doing a It is in their bodies.

38:45She is growing her right now. Ah, congrats. I'm so excited for you guys. Thank you. Men and women are never just friends. Nay. Society peaked when we were hunters and gatherers. Yay. It's okay to be a Karen sometime. Nay. Never, never a Karen. I can't picture you being a Karen. No, that pisses me off more than anything else is when people are Karens. It's like, just keep your mouth closed if it's not your business, which that's what Karen's do. I feel like when it's not their business, that's when they open their mouth. Okay. I'm with you. People should have to retake their driver's test every five years.

39:30I mean, it wouldn't hurt. Yay. I'm going to say yay to that. More likely than not, the woman is always right. Yay. Nine times out of 10, I would say. this last one for you pineapple belongs on pizza absolutely yay i love it yeah that's my that is pizza at its peak is when pineapple was on it i wasn't gonna ask you this but now i'm curious because you do seem a little bit like a foodie hot dog is not a sandwich golly that is the uh that is the age-old question isn't it i know um i always think that sandwiches that there is two pieces of bread hot dogs there's the connection which therefore eliminates them because then a taco is a sandwich which thank you that's clearly not right so i know i've fought people over this and they said well if you just slice the connection it's a sandwich So then if you just slice a taco as a sandwich, yes, it is too.

40:35But that's not the case. I know. There's connection there. I'm with you. I'm fully with you. Okay. Ian, where can people find you? How can they listen to your music? Just at Ian Munsic on all kinds of platforms. TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, all that. Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music. Wherever you listen to music, just listen to it. I will transport you to the West. You really do. Eagle Feather is amazing. Thank you very much. So check it out, you guys. Thank you. Thanks for having me. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process.

41:15Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe. It's super simple to use and with no selling fees. So you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. This episode is brought to you by Chrysler. Life with kids is basically a never-ending series of plot twists. One minute, everyone's buckled in. The next, someone's dropped a snack, lost a shoe, or needs a bathroom break immediately. That's why the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica is built for real life.

41:51With thoughtful features like stow-and-go seating, hands-free sliding doors, and passenger seating up to eight, it helps keep everything moving. Because family life isn't about the perfect moments, it's about making the most of any moment. Visit your local dealer or Chrysler.com to learn more and schedule a test drive today. Chrysler is a registered trademark of SCA US LLC. Let's do it. Let's do it. I'm so excited to have you, Hudson. I'm excited to be here. New single out, Texas Forever. I heard you're big into music festivals. You got a girlfriend. You went to Texas Tech to study oil, but ended up doing music.

42:29Yeah. Anything else my listeners should know about you? Yeah. I was working at a feed store, and I was breaking bulls. And I wrote my first song while we were washing this cow. And then we ended up, I put chords to the song, and it kind of started everything. But yeah. So I was going to college, but I was also working two jobs. You were riding bulls? No, I was breaking them. What does that mean? So that means like, okay, yeah. I'm like, I have horses, but I've never heard that about bulls. Well, it's like a puppy or like anything else. So you put a halter on their face and then you tie them up.

43:00And it's just to show them. They get treated literally like humans. So like you - Wait, are these the cows that like are really fluffy and people shave? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they look good and they're muscular. They're so cute. And yeah, they're cute. Yeah, that's all. That's mostly what people say. They're like, they're so cute. But yeah, we just took care of them. You put the halter on their neck. You put it around their face and then their face gets sore. So then they listen whenever you are leading them. And you wash them every day and you train their hair to go a certain way. This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

43:28I ended up on the side of TikTok with the little girl with the pig. Have you seen that? No. The pig shows? Oh, yeah. I showed pigs. She's just like the most stern face. You got to be locked in with the judge and you got to get their head up. You like mean mug the judge. Yeah. You got to be locked in. Are you trying to intimidate them? Is that the vibe? No, but they're very intimidating, you know? I feel like if you're singing in front of a crowd, you're like looking into everyone's eyes and you're like, what's up? Do you awkwardly make eye contact with everyone? Yeah. Yeah, it's just normal. Especially the people that don't know the words, I'm like, sing it right to them.

44:04Serenading them, as you would say. Serenading them. Okay, well, you just told me you're a big dog guy. I think you're going to have some strong feelings on this story I have for you. Alrighty, let's roll. Okay, so this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Would I Be the Asshole for Making My Boyfriend Miss a Wedding to Go to the Lake House with My Family? I'm 26 female. My boyfriend is 27. We started dating in early 2023. I live in a different state than my parents. The state our lake house is in is almost in the middle of nowhere. My parents both travel a lot with work, so I don't see them very often.

44:40In two weekends, my parents asked if my boyfriend and I would like to go to our lake house for the weekend with them. My brother and his wife, my niece and grandparents, this is actually going to be the first time since my boyfriend and I have been dating that everyone's going to be together at the lake. Now, why was the wedding in quotations? My boyfriend has a friend from college who's getting married that weekend. I've only met this friend once and I don't think my boyfriend has seen him much since college. I don't think they're that close. Let me preface this by saying I kind of feel bad for my boyfriend.

45:14When they got engaged, my boyfriend told me about it and was going on and on about how great of a wedding it's going to be. After a few months go by, it turns out my boyfriend wasn't invited to the wedding, which isn't small, 150 plus guests. He found out through a friend who was invited that he wasn't. Recently, like a month and a half ago, the friend reached out to my boyfriend and invited us to the after party. So the wedding has the wedding. Yeah. The reception. This after party is not even the reception. They have a bus to a bar where some people from the reception will go. The party will be from 11 to 2.

45:55My boyfriend is over the moon and wants us to go. I think we should go to the lake house because this is a rare opportunity. I might be an asshole because we heard about the wedding first splitting up as possible, but I want him to be there and he wants me to be there at the wedding. I don't know. Like, like sometimes you got to be there for your friend. Like, you know, like maybe there's just something deep down that he just loves his friend and she, that's her problem. You know, like, or maybe it is a really important weekend at the lake, but like, I know what I would do. What would you do? Weekend at the lake.

46:31I would too. Yeah. I'm not trying to go to a bar for three hours. Like, even if it is my best buddy, I'm going to be like, hey, bro, I'm definitely going to stay here and surf. And he'd be like, all right, man, sounds good. I understand. Do you wake surf? Yeah. Yeah, I wake Gordon, wake surf and do all that fun stuff. Very cool. Yeah. Do you also feel like this is kind of a pity invite too? It's like you're not invited to the wedding. I mean, I would honestly take it as a punch from my friend. Yeah. Like, hey. You're not good enough. Yes, I'm not good enough to play at your, you know. You didn't make the cut.

46:59at your, but be at your, so you used to play at your buddy's wedding. Yeah. But like be at your buddy's wedding. And, um, yeah. So I would, I would say, I'd say stay at the lake. I would too. I don't want to pity invite for someone's wedding. Like I'm not, I'm not good at that. I mean, that's your girlfriend. Like you're committed to that, you know? So you got to stick with that. Yeah. Top comment. No assholes here. So they don't think the girlfriend's the asshole for wanting to go to the lake. They don't think he's the asshole for wanting to go to the wedding. Like everyone's neutral. No assholes here.

47:29I guess I can understand him wanting to go, but I definitely feel more conflicted if it was really to attend the actual wedding. It sounds like your boyfriend considers the groom more of a friend than the groom considers your boyfriend, which is a shame. Being invited last minute to the after party is kind of lame. Yeah. I'm sure you're walking a fine line with him when you probably want to say, dude, groom is an ass and doesn't care about you as much as you do him so come with me instead op our writer actually responds to that comment if he was actually invited to the wedding i wouldn't be posting here there wouldn't be a problem if he was actually invited no there wouldn't be like you should go to the wedding if you're actually invited yeah so i think like the problem is is he's not literally invited to the the real you know wedding yeah like that's fair like i would you you should chew someone out if they're like, hey, bro, we're ditching your family for the weekend and we're going to get drunk for three hours with someone who doesn't care about me, you know?

48:26At an after party. Yeah. No. That's not it. Uh-uh. So she's right. I give her the... Now I seem like I'm all girl power, and I am, but like... Let's go! But they're both right. Yeah, no assholes. Yeah. No assholes. And they can split up. They could, but I think he's missing a good time. They could split up, but what I think you do is stay at the lake and just Just don't say anything. Just have a good time. Don't check your Snapchat stories. Don't rub it in his face. Don't get FOMO, yeah. Yeah, don't get FOMO. Yeah, I think he's going to have FOMO anyways. That's a big hit. But okay, I've got some hot takes for you, okay?

49:04Let's roll. Okay, if you think it's a good hot take, say yay. Bad hot take, nay. Cool. Being friends with your exes is fine. And I even think it's a green flag when people are still friends with their exes. Nay. Hell no. You have the same take as Austin. I think it's justifiable to cheat if your partner cheated first. Fight fire with fire. Nay, but just break up with her, you know. Pick me boys are worse than pick me girls. Yes. Yay. Society peaked when we were hunters and gatherers. Yay. People should have to retake their driver's test every five years. No, nay. No? No. Do you have better drivers in Texas than we have?

49:51No, but like it's not going to fix it. Like everyone's still going to find their way around it. We know how it works. It's the same thing. This next one. More likely than not, the woman is always right. If you want to be happy, yay. Last but not least, pineapple belongs on pizza. Belongs is not the word. Oh, okay. Can be is more like the vibe. Pineapple can be on pizza. But you're not like... Oh, hell no. No? No. I mean like if someone orders it and they get cheese and they get whatever the pineapple concoction is. Okay. I'm getting cheese. Have you ever had a barbecue chicken pineapple pizza?

50:39I love barbecue chicken pizza, but I've never had pineapple on it. Have you ever seen that on a menu? Throw Canadian bacon on it too. I bet it's gas. You're getting real fancy. Okay. Real fancy. Real fancy. Thank you so much for coming on. Where can people find you? Where can people listen to your music? Yeah, it's basically just Hudson Westbrook on everything. So Hudson Westbrook on TikTok, Instagram, Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube. All the places. Yeah. All the places. It ends there. Amazing. Thank you so much. Yeah, of course. Thank y 'all. Gavin, I'm so excited to have you. Thank you for having me.

51:12I'm really pumped to get into these stories. But before we do, you're from Georgia. You played football in college? Down at Georgia Southern University. Okay, played football. Is there anything else my listeners should know about you? Like, what's your vibe? What are you into? When this is all said and done, one day when I'm done making music, I want to be sitting on a farm, feeding some cows, watching the kids in the yard, and maybe rolling one up. Cows. I feel like Hudson just said he was into cows, too. He used to, like, halter break them. Yeah, he's from over in Texas, and me and him had a conversation a few times about our just agriculture background.

51:51I grew up on a cattle farm in northeast Georgia and went in the stockyards with my daddy and just loved growing up doing that. That's very cool. That was my other option. Was the cow stuff? Besides music, yep. I grew up on a farm. We had horses, not anything to your scale. It was like a little hobby farm. Yeah. But it's a good time. I love that. Okay, let's get into this story. Buckle up. This is going to be a juicy one. This is coming from AITAH. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Breaking Up with My Girlfriend Over a Note a Pilot Left for Her? We're not teenagers anymore, so maybe this is too much.

52:28I'm 31. She is 30. We were flying yesterday after a four-day vacation, and while I was in the bathroom in a coffee shop within the airport, she was left a note by a pilot. it. She smiled at him. I'm not controlling or insecure, I hope. I asked out of curiosity, and she told me it was her subway ticket that had fallen under the table. He had just picked it up for her. She indeed had her ticket on the table, so I didn't really think too much about it, but her cheeks were a bit flushed. And this morning, I found the real note that he actually left for her. It had fallen out of her pocket. I was doing the laundry.

53:07It was crumbled, and it was written by hand. It said, quote, drive you like a hammer on a bed of nails, plus a wink emoji. I Googled that and it was a reference to an Alice Cooper song. I'm still, I still haven't decided what to do. I will try to talk with her before ending this six-year-old relationship. Sorry for the misleading title. I didn't tell her anything yet. I want to wait for her to wake up and understand what happened. But am I the asshole for breaking up with her over a note a pilot left? Had she had... So she had previous interaction with the pilot on the plane, or was this just a passing thing, and he was just being kind of like a player?

53:52A little flirty? Yeah. We don't really know. I mean, have you heard that song before? I don't think so. Drive you like a hammer on a bed of nails. That's pretty in-depth. it feels a little uh risky of a note to just pass to a stranger i i would probably give her the benefit of the doubt that time if i didn't have any suspicion that she had had previous interaction with him before and like he's probably the asshole for for i mean jumping i've got a pretty girlfriend there's dudes that hit on her all the time, you know, and like, I'm just kind of like, whatever. Comes with the territory a little bit.

54:39Yeah. You know, she gets the same thing every once in a while. And it's just, why do you want to be with somebody that somebody else doesn't want to be with? Why would you want to be? Oh, okay. Well, we do get an update. Okay. We do get an update. Dang. Uh-huh. I didn't, I don't know if I looked in depth enough on this one, you know? Well, you know, if you can take a beat, think if there's anything else. I'm like, for me, I do think give it a little bit more of a conversation. Like if you're jumping the gun and breaking up with her after six years over just a note, I kind of agree. Like, you know, even thinking about working as a server, you'd get left notes all the time or, you know, things like that.

55:22So it's like, it's not that big of a deal. You really got to suss it out a bit more. But... Let's hear the answer. There is a bit more of an update. So she admitted they know each other. And I did ask to see her phone as controlling as it is. She had chats with him. It wasn't anything sexual though. So she keeps denying and blaming me for her line that I'm actually controlling. That's what she's telling me. She flies often due to her job. So this is how they met. I believe his move was a power move actually. He wanted me to see it. He is better looking than me. Fitter than me. Eh, time to be depressed and move on, I guess.

56:03Although she is now begging me to not move on. That she only wants me. He's no longer the asshole. And she's the asshole. It gets even worse, okay? Okay. So that was like an update he put on the post. And then he posted a whole additional update. So the additional update. Fast forward to everything. I saw all texts with him. She was begging him to be intimate with her while wearing his uniform. And she said she will be in the cockpit waiting for him. It seems they met on her regular flights. I threw her out of our house. It's my house, actually. She has moved back with her parents in a small town and she doesn't have any money and her fly boy will not allow her to move in with him.

56:51I got tested for STDs and STIs and I am a bit worried. The latest update is that she texted me in the middle of the night that she might be pregnant. We haven't actively been trying for a baby, but it was a plan in the near future. I'm 99 % sure she's lying, but I said, fine, when you are sure we can have a paternity test and she was offended. This is too much of a coincidence, but what if she is right? Yeah, she's the asshole and there's a good chance she's lying about the pregnancy considering her situation and it might be a fly boy's baby. Fly boy. And that's, yeah. That's a tough situation to be in.

57:37I jumped the gun early in this one. Did you? No, I just, said that he was the asshole off the first part of the story. But that's what we do. You know, you didn't have all the information. Yeah. The update straightened it up for us. Yeah. Okay. There's a top comment on the update. It says, oh, she pulling the Prego card? Total liar. Very likely fishing for some financial support, says the next one. I wouldn't spend a dime of money until a paternity test is done. True. True. True. Okay, I've got one more for you. I'm going to give you a choice, though, okay? All right. The first one. My boyfriend bothered about me taking photos or videos on our vacation.

58:17Any advice? Or my long-distance boyfriend went on a boat with all girls for his friend's birthday. And the first one was about being bothered on taking pictures on vacation of the other one. He doesn't want to take pictures of her. That one's not spicy enough. Let's do the other one on the boat. The boat? Yeah, yeah. Okay. this is coming from r slash relationship advice. My long distance boyfriend went on a boat with all girls for his friend's birthday. So I'm trying to be the chill girlfriend right now, but I'm so tempted to interrogate this motherfucker. Basically, it was his girlfriend's birthday and she rented a yacht for all of her friends to go on.

58:59I don't mind this at all because I recognize it's his friend and I trust him. Plus it's a yacht. I'd love for him to have that experience on one. But throughout the time he's been texting and updating me, I've gathered that he's the only guy that was on the boat with all of these drunk women all day. I'm trying not to overthink and be mature or ruin his day because he had fun. However, it's so hard. I tried asking who all went and if any of the other friends with him, but I haven't gotten a straight answer yet. Please, someone set me straight or validate me so I can have some feedback and know how to mediate this situation.

59:37Thank you. Hmm. Do you think there's anything fishy going on here? Do you think they're just friends? Well, it's pretty fishy. I feel like my girlfriend's first question would be like, why the hell can't I go? That's what I want to know. That's like if this is your, you know, your boyfriend and that's one of his old, you know, girl friends, like actual friends, then it's like, why can't I come? Doesn't she want to get to know me too? Yeah, the ratio and going out on a yacht and not inviting her is a terrible red flag. I wouldn't be very forgiving. I would probably shut down. You probably wouldn't talk to me for a while.

1:00:25Are you a bit of a stonewaller? Do we need to work on that? What do you mean stonewaller? Stonewaller? You kind of tune out, you ignore your partner if you have a tiff? No. Okay, good. On that level, probably would have to have some time, though. I would need some stonewall time. A little bit of a breather. Not a full stonewall. No doubt. It might be a... I might send him a text later in the afternoon and be like, we can talk tomorrow. I ain't doing nothing. I'm just chilling here at the house. But I did not want to talk to you right now. Would your girlfriend be okay with something like this?

1:00:58I feel like, for me, I know I would look at my fiance like, what are you on? Are you kidding me? No, she would not be. She would not be all right with it. No, and like I try to reverse the roles too, right? Like if it was me going on a boat, a yacht with 15 guys and like I was the one, I don't think I'd even want to go. But like I just think it's a weird dynamic. It's not very typical. It's not like something that just happens all the time. And it's not like there was a bunch of couples or anything. It's obviously a bunch of single girls on a boat, you and your buddy. Yeah. And your buddy's got a girlfriend and there's X amount of just single women.

1:01:39Top comment. My question is, are you not familiar with these women? I'm friends or at least acquainted with all my fiance's friends, especially the female ones. If he went on a boat with a bunch of women or men, I would have at least gotten an invite. So exactly what you said. Yep. That's sketchy off the bat. It's goofy. It's like if you were going to go on a boat with all your buddies and it's just your buddies and there's like no girls, maybe, maybe one of the dudes brings their girlfriend that still wouldn't slide very good. And you said, we're just going to have some guy time today. You hang out with your friends like that wouldn't be a big deal.

1:02:17But no, because it'd be weird to just bring your girlfriend along with a ton of dudes on the boat. Just it's OK for couples to have like time apart with just their friends for sure. but something just feels off here for me at least. Yeah. That, uh, the time apart in a relationship is whether it's a job or you're hanging out with your friends and they're hanging out with their friends that saves relationships, having, having their own thing to do in the time apart, because when you're with somebody for three months straight, 99 % of the days, every hour you start getting irritated. You do. Does your girlfriend go on tour with you quite a bit?

1:02:59She does. She probably comes like two thirds of the time. Which that other like one third that she's not like it is nice to like, you know. Yeah. When I see her, I'm like, God, I miss you, you know. Oh, that's adorable. OK, I've got some hot takes for you. OK, if you think it's a good hot take, give it a yay. If it's a bad hot take, nay. All right. Number one, being friends with your exes is fine. And I even think it's a green flag when people are still friends with their exes. I would say nay. I'm not friends with any of my exes at all. My high school ex-girlfriend of like six years ago, we broke up like early in college.

1:03:43Her grandma died and I hit her up and told her I was sorry about her grandma dying because her grandma was like having a hard time when we were in high school and stuff. But no, it's just not going to get coffee or hanging out or something. No. Men and women are never just friends. No, that's false. Society peaked when we were hunters and gatherers. If the world collapsed and we all went back to farming and living off the land and putting your feet in the dirt, and there would be a lot less depression. There would be a lot better mental health. There's just so much go, go, go, go, go. This city, Atlanta, any city you go to, there's just – and that's moving up to Tennessee.

1:04:36I kind of live out in the country a little bit, out of town, but I just – I have a garden. It's so good for you. I leave the phone inside and then just say screw it, We go out there for a few hours and just tend to it, and it's just the best thing for my mental health. It's so peaceful. It's so cathartic. What do you grow out there? We've got corn, tomatoes, squash, some strawberries, and a couple cantaloupes. You're really going for it. Yeah. That's awesome. I figured if I planted a bunch of it and half of it died, I'd still have a little bit. You still feel good about it. Did you say cucumbers?

1:05:13We didn't plant any cucumbers. You should add some cucumbers next year. Those always turn out really good. I just didn't want too many eggs in my basket because we got home from like two weeks of being gone and we picked weeds for a couple hours yesterday and it was a pain. You don't have chickens then, I take it? No, I don't have any chickens yet. Not yet. Yet is the key right there. I need some land for some chickens. This next one. People should have to retake their driver's test every five years. That's interesting that you say that because I've got this... a relative of mine, and she just turned 85.

1:05:47And her name's Sybil. Sweet, sweetest old lady. She come over to the house a few months back, and she was like, can y 'all believe that they're going to make me take my driver's test again? Because you have to when you turn 85. And I don't think so. That would be a pain. I got to go change my license from Georgia to Tennessee, and I still hadn't. I've been living here for a year. And I got pulled over and got arrested a couple weeks ago. Oh, shit. And gave me a ticket for my ID not being in Tennessee. The right state. In Tennessee, yeah. Damn. I still have a Minnesota ID, but I live in Los Angeles.

1:06:27Yeah. Oops. No one tattle on me. I'm like, I don't want to change it. Minnesota, it's so much cuter. I know. More likely than not, the woman is always right. if you want to have a strand of happy days that's that's your mindset you need you know you're so funny if you I mean if you want to put together a good week good couple weeks without having an argument you just just drop drop uh what you think is wrong in her you know you're just like ah just I'm gonna go outside for a minute I'll come back in we'll reset I'm gonna go garden yeah I'm gonna go garden I'll be on the garden no phone okay last but not least at least pineapple belongs on pizza.

1:07:13I definitely think so. I used to not think so. Oh. And I'll get pepperoni, pineapple, and jalapenos on my pizza. Okay. And the sweet and the spicy with the pepperoni. And that's it. Yeah, the savory too. Yeah. If the jalapenos are spicy, the sweet of the pineapple kind of cuts it. And it's my favorite pizza. Okay. I've got one last one, actually. My boyfriend is grossed out by thongs. Well, I don't think that's a thing you should be worried about. So that one's a nay for you. Yeah, that's a nay for me. That's a nay. That's not a phobia that I'm going to acquire. You're into him. I did have a dang thong thrown on stage one time, and it was gross looking.

1:08:02And I grabbed it by the corner that was clean. I threw it back in the crowd. I was like, get that out of here. And about 30 seconds later, it was back up on stage. What? And I threw it back out there and I didn't see it no more. Do people think that's actually going to work? I don't know. We've had bras and stuff on stage and panties. What's the weirdest thing you've had tossed on stage? Somebody threw their retainer up one night and I signed it and threw it back out to them in the crowd. Like the box. And I popped it open and it had the retainer in there. I was like, y 'all are fucked up. That's crazy.

1:08:37because retainers are not cheap. I have one. And then you're carrying them around at a country concert. You're so worried about your teeth being straight. I hadn't put mine on in 14 years. I don't even know where it's at. Oh, you're lucky. Your teeth stayed nice. Oh, they'll slide off one day, but I'll just get some Invisalign or something. There you go. Gavin, thank you so much for coming on. Where can people find you? Where can they listen to your music? I know you've got two singles that just came out. Morning Bail and Never Call Again. I listen to them. They're really good. Well, you can find us anywhere you play music under Gavin Adcock, Gavin Adcock Music on all socials.

1:09:13And we just sent our first song to radio and it wasn't even the ad date and it was the second most added song to radio last week. So we're going for our first number one and we're going to keep letting out music and a new album later in the year. That's awesome. Okay, everyone go listen. Thank you. Thank you. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. Breathe in. Now breathe out. You feel that? That's the calm of having Intuit Credit Karma in your corner. If you're trying to get your life together in this crazy world, Credit Karma is a great place to start with the money stuff. Your credit score isn't just a number.

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1:10:59Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Visit cashapp.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Ingrid, I'm so excited to have you. I'm really, I think you're going to have some good takes. We'll see. I think you will. I think you will. But I know you've got a new song out, Catch 22. I do. Good. It's really good. Thank you. But for my listeners that may not know what you're about, where you're from, you want to give us the lowdown? Yeah, I am a singer-songwriter. um grew up in Colorado moved to Nashville to learn how to write songs and um I pretty much just write sad piano songs it's a vibe yeah it's a vibe okay well I think you're I think you're teed up for this one it is coming from am I the asshole it's six days old titled am I the asshole for recording my friend's fiancee at her bachelorette party and playing the recording for him I was invited to the bachelorette party for my friend's fiance.

1:12:03It was over the long weekend at a vacation rental on the beach. There was booze, a hot tub, great food. It was definitely a hit. At one point, I was on the deck looking at the ocean and the bride was sitting in the hot tub with two of her friends. She said she felt more relaxed than she had in a while. I assumed she was referring to wedding planning. One of her friends asked if she was having trouble with the little monster. She said no, that he was manageable for now. At that point, I realized they were talking about my friend's son. I took out my phone and started recording them. The bride's friends said horrible stuff about my friend's son, and the bride responded positively to everything, laughing and agreeing with them.

1:12:53Hmm. She then said that it was too bad he wasn't old enough to send off to military school. Oh, that's specific. I stopped recording when their topic changed. I don't think they ever realized that I was close enough to hear them. When we got back, I asked to meet with my friend and I played him the recording. He was quiet while he listened. After the recording was finished, he asked me to send it to him, which I did. Then he asked me to delete it, which I said I would do, but I didn't yet. Why? I feel like an asshole for interfering. However, I'm worried about my friend's son. Depending on what my friend does, I might need to send this recording to the poor boy's family.

1:13:36I feel like I've overstepped, but what else can I do? Was I being an asshole? It's not funny. No, but it's like, it's a rock and a hard place. It is. like yeah it's shitty that they were talking about this little boy who's not hers um but this friend well one it's not your son and yeah you kind of are the asshole because it they could have obviously the friends will always have opinions and like want to talk shit like that's what we do we get together whatever I'm confused why the guy was like can you send that to me but then you need to delete it. Like, that's sketchy. Yeah. Like, there's too much sketchiness happening to where I'm just like, maybe he's not the asshole because...

1:14:27I know. I am a little torn because I'm like, it is kind of like girls gabbing at the Bachelorette. Yeah. Like, maybe the kid is difficult. They were probably really feeling themselves, you know? And they were just like, we hate that little kid. Like, the military school. Wait, do you say that though? And I'm like, oh God, even that sounds bad. It does. But like that sounds like somebody doesn't have children, you know? Yeah. I don't have kids. That sounds like something I would say, you know? Maybe not military school. Yeah. I would say like boarding school, you know? Like when can they go to boarding school?

1:15:01Okay, Meredith Blake. Exactly. Military school is a bit extreme. I would say. I would say. So, I mean, if you're just trying to have a good time with your friends, like what is she going to do? Like stand up for the kid and be like, how dare you? You know, when they're in the hot tub. Yeah. Like five mimosas deep. No, I feel like at that point, like you can't, there's nothing you can do except record. And like, I do think it's kind of like an invasion of privacy, like recording someone without them knowing for something like this. But at the same time, I'm like, if this is about to be that little kid's stepmom and he's just going to get treated terribly going forward, it probably is good that the guy does know.

1:15:40And like that guy that this girl is marrying is her friend. Like, she just got invited because, you know, mutuals. Right. But, like, her loyalty does kind of lie with him. Yeah. Like, I would want to know. Oh, it's a girl. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Does she want to marry said dude? That sounds like a move of, like, my best friend's wedding. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like, that's why I was confused. I'm like, is this, how did you get invited to this bachelorette party? Like, what type of friend are you? Yeah. It sounded like a token invite. There might be some issues between them, right? It could be a keep your enemies close.

1:16:19It's like, oh, my fiance has a girlfriend. That's like, really? And yeah, it could be a stir the pot. It definitely could. It could. And that is why I think she did the recording too. Because without the recording, it is just like she said versus she said. Right. So. I don't know. So where do you think the overall vote on this one went? I don't think asshole. Okay. Like, to be honest, like, don't talk shit about kids that aren't yours. Like, don't, like, what? And don't joke about sending them to military school. That's bad. Yeah. If anything, they're the assholes. How it was handled was, like, really messy.

1:17:03But I don't think she's the asshole. And it sounds like she wants to marry this dude, so. Might as well, yeah. Might as well see if you can shoot a shot. Yep. So overall comment right now is giving not the asshole. Okay. Okay. No verdict yet because it is so new. But with 21 ,000 upvotes, this comment says, I get why you would feel conflicted, but protecting the little boy matters more than some social boundary. If someone was trashing my kid like that, I'd want to know. Beautiful. I know. Yeah. Don't bring the kids into it. No. And like his kid right now is kind of like an extension of him. Like, it's their package deal.

1:17:44Yeah. It'd be like finding out your fiance's just, like, talking shit about you. And you're like, does he even like me? Yeah. Why are we getting married then? Like, also, but to be fair, it was her friends saying the little monster. Like, her friends sound like they don't have children. Or they do and they're not having a good time. So. That's a good point, too. Yeah. Well, we do get an update. Oh, okay. Yesterday, Friday afternoon, I got a text from my friend asking me to block his fiance's number. I was a bit thrown by the request and asked if everything was okay. He said he couldn't talk right now and asked me to please just block the number.

1:18:27So I blocked the number. I have this weird glitch with my Android Auto where if a blocked number calls me, it shows up in my recent calls as a missed call on my car's screen. Even though on my actual phone, it doesn't ring at all. Okay, Android. We see you. I know. That's why we have iPhones. Exactly. I was driving later and saw a ton of missed calls from her. Yep. There were so many, it exceeded what my car would even show me. I kept the number blocked. Later, my friend's best friend, who was supposed to be the best man, called me and asked me if I had heard anything from our friend. I said yes and asked why.

1:19:07He sent me a screenshot from the fiance's Facebook talking about how people show their true colors and saying that she was newly single. I tried to call my friend, but he didn't answer. Tonight, I finally heard back from him. The long and short of it is that he asked her about how she feels about his son. She said he's adorable and sweet. My friend played her the recording and she asked where he got it. Oh my. He refused to tell her, saying it shouldn't matter. She immediately guessed it was me. Yeah. He refused to confirm it. She was angry that he wouldn't tell her I recorded her conversation and said she can't trust him anymore.

1:19:54So she called off the wedding. Not a great update, but since so many of you... Wait, she said she can't trust him anymore? Uh-huh. Okay, sorry. Continue. you. I was like, wait, did I hear that right? Not a great update, but since so many of you were invested, I thought you'd want to know. We did want to know, and thank you for updating us. Because she got, that's like, she like tried to uno reverse him. I know. We call it gaslighting. We do. We can't, I can't trust you because you won't tell me who recorded shitty things that I've said. Oh my gosh. Have you heard of Darvo? No. What is that? Darvo is like this, thing that you will sometimes see with like not very healthy relationships like really toxic people and it stands for deny attack reverse victim and offender ah and so it's like kind of that like deny and then she's attacking him and then like reversing it onto him and it's like the whole reason we're having this conversation is because you were talking shit about my kid yeah okay well that's a great update honestly it's a win-win for everybody i know she gets to go on you know without a kid that she doesn't like i know dad gets to you know maybe marry this best friend who recorded stuff how do we do we think that they're going to end up getting married i'm curious i'm i'm curious i always wonder that when like guys are really close with a girlfriend and they're both single.

1:21:30I'm like, I'm always like, have you tried? Do you not try? Is it totally out of the equation? And like, I've got some guy friends that like, both of us would be like, ew, ew. It's like a brother. Like, no. So like, I get that relationship too. But like, I'm such a hopeless romantic that I'm like, is there a chance? Could they? There might be. I don't know. I mean, the fact that this girl got so, I don't know. I don't know. That was a messy situation. Moral of the story. Don't talk shit about kids. No. Assholes. Okay, I've got one more for you here. Yes, okay. That one was heavy. It's juicy. Juicy, yes.

1:22:11This next one. Coming from Am I the Asshole, eight hours old. Am I the asshole for refusing to do something special on my wedding day for my sister because she refused to do something for me at her wedding? I'm a 30-year-old female. I'm getting married this Sunday. and my sister, Jessica, 28 female, got married two years ago. A couple of weeks before her wedding, my ex left me for another woman and it was devastating because I thought he was going to propose soon. At my sister's wedding, I asked her if she could throw me the bouquet to wish me luck, but she refused and said she didn't want to damage it.

1:22:49I asked her to lend it to me for just a couple of pictures instead and she refused that too. I said nothing more and I didn't bring it up again until now. Okay, so my sister is pregnant and wants to announce it at my wedding. She asked and I said, absolutely not. When she asked why, I told her that one, the wedding is for my fiance and I and two, she didn't do what I asked her to do at her wedding. So why would I do what she asks at mine? She's pissed and saying that I'm being ridiculous. Our mother says that I'm being childish. Am I the asshole? I have three sisters. Okay. And so I'm thinking like I would want to help them in any way that I could.

1:23:34The refusing to take photos with the bouquet is weird to me unless it's like imported from like some – or it's like it's not her bouquet, you know? Like it's like designer flowers. I don't even know. Yeah. Like. That to me is weird. That's weird. yeah that's petty and like that was an easy thing to do here you go take a picture yeah thanks or like toss it to your sister like she's having a shit time I would say it'd be petty if it was something little like that and then she didn't this time around was like no because you didn't do this for me yeah a pregnancy announcement is very big and like that does take attention off so it's not the same as a bouquet thing.

1:24:20No. So I don't think it's petty. I think it's like... I think it's fair. Yeah, I do too. And I don't think she's an asshole. No, it's your wedding. Like, you get to decide what happens at your wedding. Yeah. So no, not the asshole. I'm curious how she was thinking of announcing it at someone's wedding. Standing up on a chair. For starters, yeah. You guys, hi. Or maybe it would be her, to the bride and groom. Oh my God, in her. She'll be the best aunt ever. Because. Yeah. Oh, that would be even worse. With the mic. Yeah. I've had someone in one of the other Reddit stories we've read. She announced her pregnancy at a funeral.

1:25:05Oh. People, they are missing a little tact. Oh. Oh, I get the one dies and. when he was born. I think she did think it was beautiful. Right. That is the circle of life. And it is beautiful. Not everyone's ready to hear that in every moment, you know? But I love the, I love the bravery. Yeah. Wouldn't be me. If someone, I'm going to tell you guys right now, someone announces their pregnancy at my wedding. They're going home. They can't wear white. I literally put on my wedding registry, no white. I'm like, I'm not taking any chances. Girl. I've read so many Reddit stories. I'm like, I'm going to say it now.

1:25:47I should write a Reddit story because I was, I was like, was it you? 14 or 15. Oh, you were, you were young. I know, but my mom, like we went to this, we were going to a neighbor's wedding and she took us to Kohl's because we had Kohl's cash. Kohl's cash. Let's go. Obviously, to get outfits for this wedding. and I was having a really hard time finding a dress and I found one that was white and my mom didn't say anything. She was just like, oh yeah, that's great. Her only concern was the modesty because I grew up like very conservative. She's like, does it go down to your knee? Like didn't even talk about the color.

1:26:29So I showed up to this wedding where I knew everyone, like everyone in my neighborhood. Why would your mom do that to you? I don't know. Mom. But I didn't know until afterwards that you don't do that. Like she didn't do anything. Was it your first wedding? Yes. Yeah. So it's like, as the kid, I mean, that's insane. The mother of the groom who hated me because that's the house I snuck over to a lot in my neighborhood. And she already didn't like me. And she goes, oh, well, I can't remember what she said, but it didn't make sense to me at the time. But she was just like, oh, I guess everyone should have worn white then.

1:27:10And I was like, that's terrible. Yeah. You're so little. Oh, I'm sorry. It wasn't that little. No. 14 and 15. For your first wedding. Like, I had my period. Like, we were, you know, womanhood. And I'm showing up to this other woman's wedding in a white dress. That is wild. Where do you think the overall vote on this one went? Oh, for this one or for me? Maybe both. definitely asshole asshole Ingrid yes for this not asshole not the asshole that is what the top comment says not the asshole but she's going to announce it anyways oh that's so true if I know anything about sisters make sure she doesn't get a mic yeah make sure she does not get a mic exactly okay I've got some hot takes for you okay if you think it's a good hot take give me a yay if it's bad nay okay being friends with your exes is fine and I even think it's a green flag when people are still friends with exes.

1:28:10No. It's okay to sleep with someone your friend slept with if it's been a while. Yeah. Men and women are never just friends. Oh, no. Of course we are. Society peaked when we were hunters and gatherers. What? Who's saying that? People on the keto diet? My God. Like, yeah, we were thriving when we were just eating shit raw and dying. Yeah, no. I mean, maybe our bodies like felt great, but I mean, they also like died. You don't want to make fire by rubbing some sticks together? Yeah, I joined Girl Scouts for that. Like I don't need that to determine if we're doing well as a species. I get why people say it.

1:28:57Like I feel like my dad thinks that sometimes, but I'm also like, I mean, what is better? You know? Curious what you think of this next one. People should have to retake their driver's test every five years. Ooh. I don't know if you've driven around Nashville. It's not great. People don't know what they're doing. And it's really specifically here in Tennessee. Yeah. I go, I travel a lot. And when I drive, it's very different. Everyone talks about LA. at least LA they're bold and daring but they know what they're doing people here driving out there too bold and daring but don't know where they are and don't know where they're going so I think for here specifically you're with it in Nashville I'm like yes every five years like will it scare me because I'm worried that maybe I will yeah but like it's I think for Nashville yes every five years.

1:29:58Two more quick ones for you. More likely than not, the woman is always right. I'm going to say yes so I don't get attacked by my own group of people. I will say that I don't feel like I'm right most of the time because I'm usually like... That's imposter syndrome. I think it's just self-awareness. Okay. Oh, could be that too. Yeah. Last but not least, pineapple belongs on pizza. I actually have never tried that. What? Yeah, I think because growing up, like it was such like a nerdy negative connotation or like my grandmother was like, you're a heathen if you do that. And so, but she also put like full sardines on her pizza.

1:30:47Oh, my grandma. I'm pretty sure you're Satan, which she is. But just kidding. I hope you're dead. but yeah the pineapple thing I would like to try it I just don't like ham and so it's usually paired with ham oh no no no barbecued chicken I've seen that combo barbecued chicken and pineapple I've been telling everybody today okay it's good I will try it yeah I'm not against it there you go thank you so much for coming on where can people find you how can they listen to your music I guess everywhere Spotify iTunes my Instagram when I ever decide to post to it. What's the handle? How can they find you?

1:31:27Just my name, Ingrid Andress. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. This was fun. I'm going to go on Reddit now. I have so many opinions. This episode is brought to you by Billie. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter. I'm in hibernation mode and I grow out my leg hair a little bit, but it's getting warmer and now I'm excited for that first shave of the season. And if you are, then you got to get the Billy razor into your life. It's designed for how women actually shave, legs, pits, toes, happy trail, wherever prickles decide to show up. It has five sharp blades and a pivoting head so you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics.

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1:32:48You have like the best fit I've seen all day. I'm so impressed. I'm so impressed. I try. I try hard. I love it. William, I'm so excited to have you come on the pod. Tell us a little bit about your background for my listeners that might not know or be familiar with you and your music. Give us a little bit of a lowdown. So I grew up in Del Rio, Texas. It's a little border town right on the Rio Grande. So yeah, I listened to a lot of mariachi music growing up, a lot of songs in Spanish, but also obviously very big country music fans. So it was kind of a blend between country music and Latin music that was always on the radio when I was a kid.

1:33:27So it kind of comes through a little bit in my songs. It definitely does. Your music is amazing. I have a note here. Reminder to ask about the giraffe. Where did you see the giraffe? Like the giraffe picture? You're like, there's no sense. There's a ranch in Texas around Kerrville, the Wyo Ranch. And they have all kinds of exotic animals. And I was given the task to feed a giraffe. So it was really, really cool. And they're really sweet and gentle. But it's still really freaky to see something that big next to you. But it was a lot of fun. That's crazy. Check that off the bucket list. I know. I really want to do a safari someday.

1:34:07and I know a girl though there's like this wine safari in Malibu in California and this girl was feeding this giraffe he was like very famous his name was Stanley and he headbutted her and broke her nose so I'm like seeing you there's no fence you were just out there feeding this giraffe it's scary I'm telling you you know what's funny I didn't know because before we went out there into the pasture that they were in yeah they had uh like all the trees in that particular pasture that they're in or all like they've pretty much gone through all the leaves that that they can so all the trees are you can see where they've eaten from it so they have to like bear they have to like trim branches from other trees and bring it and that's how you feed them that's so cool and uh at first i was just kind of letting the branch go and they'd eat this the stick and all the stems and everything and then i was told to hold on to it because they like stripping it with their tongue like all the leaves and stuff.

1:35:01And it was actually really, really weird. So you're sitting there holding it and you can't, you know, you want to let go, but you don't. And they just rip it clean off. That's insane. I'm going to need to see a video of this. Did you take one? No, I was, no, I was too scared. I was, I was, I was shaking in my boots. But you know, I'd do it again. Okay. I'll take you next time. Okay. There we go. Okay. Let's get into these Reddit stories. Okay. This first one I have for you is coming from, am I the asshole? Three days old. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Declining to Be a Groomsman in One of My Best Friend's Weddings?

1:35:33I mean, I want to say yes, but what are the circumstances? I'll give you the details. Okay. But instant off the bat, you're like, God, it's yes. I'm somewhere in the middle. I have to know what's going on. Okay. Because I could see myself doing that if the circumstances were right. William. Okay. Let me tell you what's going on. For instance, if my friend was getting married and you wanted to do a podcast with me, like a second one, I'd be like, sorry, I got to miss your wedding. Oh my gosh. Okay. Let's, let's see what you think after this. One of my 26 male best friends is getting married. I've known this friend for 15 plus years.

1:36:10Growing up, me and five other guys were super close. We all grew up in the same neighborhood and played the same sport in high school. The friend in question asked the six of us to be groomsmen in his wedding. The five other guys said yes. I said no. I don't really have a concrete reason for saying no. I just don't really need the hassle and I'm rather introverted. I'd rather use my PTO to go on vacation somewhere quiet rather than have to go to all the extra events associated with the wedding. To be clear, I obviously plan on attending the wedding and after party. Apparently, my declining to join the wedding party caused bigger issues than I could have imagined.

1:36:53The wife-to-be asked six bridesmaids and apparently is irritated that there won't be the same number of groomsmen. And my friend had taken it as a personal slight. I've gotten texts and calls from a few of my friends and the maid of honor asking to reconsider. And the friend whose wedding it is got so angry after I declined a second time that he said, quote, I shouldn't bother coming at all. I really don't think this is as big of a deal as people are making it out to be. But my friend and his fiance are acting like I objected to the marriage itself. Am I the asshole? Yes, absolutely. I think that guy's an asshole.

1:37:34He's a prick. You know, it's their... I mean, if you go back with somebody 15 years, it's their wedding, obviously. Like, that's the happiest day of their life. I mean, be a good sport. I get it. I get it that you don't want to have to deal with all the, you know... The showmanship or whatever of it all. I'd tell the guy, yeah. He's a prick. You wouldn't do that to your friend. No, I wouldn't do that to my friend. 15 year long friendship too. No, no, no, no. Weddings are like such a big deal. And I didn't get in this boat until recently because our wedding is in September. Justin and I behind the camera over there.

1:38:06And I realized like from a lot of people, they're like, honestly, it was like one of the best days of my life. And you don't realize that people really only show up for you, your wedding and your funeral. And you're dead for the second one. So it's like, it is a big deal. I know. Oh, I know. You ever been to a Mexican wedding? Oh, yeah. That's probably one of the best times you'll ever have in your whole life. Tell me what's the vibe. Like quinceañeras and Mexican weddings are like, I mean, they go to like six in the morning. See, that's our vibe. Yeah. That's our vibe. We're going to have a beer burrow.

1:38:38We're going to have like a beer donkey. Oh, my God. Yeah. A beer burrow. A burrow. A burrow, yeah. Okay, well, you say it a lot nicer than I do. A beer burrow. A what? Brie back here also. So she's just dying. She's like that accent. What word was that? Like. Yeah. I can't believe y 'all are going to have. I'll just. I'll start saying donkey. Yeah. Yeah. Then people. So wait. He's going to have like little saddlebags with beer on the side. Yeah. Wow. I didn't realize that that was a thing. It's a new thing with weddings. We should do that. We should do that at like meet and greets and stuff. It shows.

1:39:12That'd be awesome. See, I just gave you an idea. We'll bring a beer burro. Burro. No Where do you think the overall vote on this one went? Oh, whether that guy's an asshole? What do you think everyone came together and said? I think everybody's agreeing with what I think, right? Yeah, you're right You're right Overall vote, you're the asshole Top comment, obviously you're the asshole Hey man, I know we've been super close since we were eight But I just can't be bothered to be there for you On one of the most important occasions of your life Yeah, no real reason I just don't feel like it Yeah, no, I wouldn't fly.

1:39:51You know what's weird to me about the story, though, is that doesn't he say, doesn't he mention, like, I still want to go to the wedding. I just don't want to be in the wedding. Yeah. So what, what, if it's like something else came up that you're like, man, I can't go to the wedding or be in the wedding. I'd be like, all right. Yeah. I understand that. But. It's a weird thing. It's, it's also like an honor to be asked. And I'm going to tell you honestly, out of anybody that's would probably be the most lenient and understanding would be me. because I have to miss a bunch of weddings just because we're always on the road.

1:40:19You're on tour. Doing stuff. Yeah. Is that hard for you? Yeah. You have FOMO? Yeah, I get FOMO. It sucks when it's like a family member, like a cousin or something. Like, rather. You know, and that's a weird thing too is because they all expect you to. They're like, oh, well, you know, I'm assuming you're going to be there. It'd be awesome if you got up on stage and sang a song. I'm like, hate to break it to you, dude. I ain't even going to be there at all. I want to be in Virginia or wherever the hell I'm going to be that day. Oh, I just hurt. I know. That's tough. It's like, it's tough for them.

1:40:50Cause like they, I'm sure are so proud of you. They get it. It'd be, it'd be way worse if I was like, Hey man. Yeah. I've actually got that day off. I just don't feel like it. That would be, that would make me a shitty cousin. That would. Wouldn't it? Then you'd have, yeah, there'd be no excuse. No excuse. Okay. I'm going to give you a choice on this next one. Okay. Option number one. I'm having an issue with my husband who keeps messing up our bathroom and keeps insisting it's not a big deal. How do I get him to understand it's gross? Little insight. It has to do with butt crumbs. Okay. Okay.

1:41:26Or am I the asshole for having a test on the first date and ending things right after if not passed? That one. The dating one. Okay. Okay, this next one for you. Coming from A-I-T-A-H. Am I the asshole for having a test on the first date and ending things right after if it's not passed. I've noticed a pattern when I go on dates with men. I tend to ask a lot of questions because I'm genuinely curious about other people in their lives. I love learning about what makes someone who they are. And I've noticed that when I show this level of interest, men usually really like me. But the thing is, it's often one-sided.

1:42:07Many of them don't ask me a single question in return. Literally not even basic stuff like what I do, or what I'm interested in. One time, I went on a first date where I asked all the questions, tried to keep the conversation going, and the second he was done talking about himself, things would go silent. He made no effort to get to know me at all. If I hadn't told him my name, I honestly don't think he would have known it. After that, I ended it, and he was devastated. But in my head, that date showed he had zero interest in me, and in my opinion, I think that to truly understand someone, you need to be curious and intrigued about them.

1:42:49Maybe I just crave to be understood or I need attention, but I think it's rude to not seem interested in me, lol. This has happened multiple times and now I've started seeing it as a bit of a test. If a guy doesn't ask anything about me, I don't want to move forward. So am I the asshole for this game and ending things early if a guy shows no interest in who I am? I don't think that makes her kind of weird. I don't think it makes her an asshole, though. I think it's weird that she is looking at it as a game. Yeah. Because it's just like, that's not a game. That's actually just normal. I would just chalk that up.

1:43:30I don't know why you got to categorize that as a game. Why don't you just go on a date with somebody, and if it's weird and you're like, this is not working, then just don't call them back. or go on a second one. I'm with you. I think it's like her underlying message of like if I go on a date with someone and they don't ask me one question about myself I'm not going to go on a second date with them. That's like essentially what she's trying to get at and like hey, that's normal. That's actually Yeah, that's called dating. That's dating. Thumbs up, thumbs down. That went well or it didn't. Yeah, literally.

1:44:06Do you have any like really bad dates that just like stick with you? I've had a couple bad dates for sure. You know, it was weird, though. It was a long time ago, a few years ago, I went on a date with this girl and something similar like that happened to me, but it was her sister that I'd never met. Like, her sister, like, almost made me, like, answer a questionnaire type of thing. Oh. Yeah. Put you on the spot. Yeah, it was very odd. It was very weird. That is interesting. I was like, went on a date with the girl and I was like, yeah, I was kind of weirded out by that. Very protective older sister that's asking me all kinds of like…

1:44:45Just grilling you. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I decided on a first date one time, I thought a hockey game would be a really good idea. But like within 15 minutes of like, he picked me up to go to the game. I was like, I don't want to be on this date anymore. But then you go to a hockey game and those are like three hours long. So you can't really talk during the game because it's loud. Oh no, he kept trying to talk. Oh. I was like, I just want to go home. Yeah. so drinks drinks first friends dinner snacks appetizers no long commitments like games i'm a big drinks guy like i like real nice cocktail places or like quiet place i for me to be able to talk it's got to be quiet like i can't go to loud bars or club definitely can't go to clubs no not my vibe you can't talk no i literally i'm so goofy i've been wearing earplugs here are you serious that's actually really good though that's like that's good it's so loud And then it's like to be in a place like this on a first date, it's tough.

1:45:42Yeah. It's tough. So the top comment on this one, this doesn't sound like a game. It sounds like normal human interpersonal interaction. That's what I said. It just sounds like dating. That person used a lot of big words. Not the asshole. Next comment. Seriously, the game of having a normal conversation like an actual human being. So I get why you were a little thrown. Yeah, I thought it was going to be like that, like a questionnaire. like, you know, like, check this, check that, yes or no, you know. And then, like, if they failed the test, this person was going to get up and leave. That's what was in my head when you first.

1:46:19That would be crazy. That would be crazy. That would make you an asshole. That definitely would. Okay, I've got some rapid-fire hot takes for you. Okay. While weaponized incompetence is real, most men are just actually incompetent. Nay. Are you feeling attacked? I feel a little attacked on that one. This next one. Being friends with your exes is fine. And I even think it's a green flag when people are still friends with exes. Shoot. It depends on your ex, you know? It depends on how crazy that person was. I don't know. Yay, nay. Could be either one. I mean, it's cool. If it's cordial and civil, I think that's awesome.

1:46:59You can be a grown-up about it. I like that. But, you know, no shady business, too, you know? That'd be weird, too. It's like if you're with somebody else, Oh, yeah, you know, I met up with my ex for like drinks. And you're like, that's a little sus. I don't know. That is a little sus. I don't know. That one's a confusing one. Well, let's see what you think about this next one. Because this person said, Men and women are never just friends. Nay. You think they can be? I think so. Okay. Society peaked when we were hunters and gatherers. Nay. No. It didn't peak. I like music too much. What do you mean?

1:47:36I don't know. What do you mean? Hunters and gatherers? This one. I 100 % support snooping on your partner's phone. Nay. Nay. Yeah, I'm with you. I think that's fucked up. Am I allowed to cuss on this? I'm sorry. Yeah, you can. Yeah, because that's like, that's breaking a trust thing, which you should already have in place, right? If you're together. If you're together. And want to be together. You shouldn't. It's one of those things to where like you should, I feel like you should be able to have your phone in the open so that your other person's like, I could go through it if I wanted to. But the mere fact that he or she is that careless about it basically means there's nothing that that person's hiding.

1:48:24So what's the point? Does that make any sense? It does. Yeah. The openness of it itself should cancel out the idea of having to snoop through it in the beginning. Yeah, because it should make it feel like, oh, it's an option. so like there's probably nothing there i should trust this person if somebody's being really protective of their phone then there might be something i don't know i feel like you and i could be like uh counselors for for people we could be like relationship hey we'll get you on a full episode someday you'll you'll really see how it goes this one people should have to retake their driver's test every five years may i don't think i don't think ever after five years i think I think if you hit a certain age, maybe like the elderly sometimes can be a liability.

1:49:09So making sure that they're all up to speed on things. Still safe. Right, safe. Yeah. Okay. But every five years, I'd be annoyed with that. Five is, how many, how often do you have to renew your license? Is that five? Oh, that's a good question. I don't know. What is that? It's about five. So you already are going to the DMV. What's a little parallel parking test? You know what? I take my, I take it back. I think, I think that would be. Don't let me convince you. No, you did. You did. No. Because actually, I'm a really good driver. So I would just at that point just be kind of down to parallel parking.

1:49:38But watch this. 90 degree back. Whip it in there. Honestly, it would be a good ploy because then it's like if I do my test every five years, give me a discount on insurance. That's actually a pretty good point. Oh, my God. I know. I feel like we're solving all the world's problems right now. This is actually really entertaining. This next one. More likely than not, the woman is always right. More likely than not, the woman is always right. I mean, in my experiences, they've been right most of the time. I'd probably say yay, yay on that. Yay, yay. Karma has to be taken into your own hands sometimes.

1:50:19Isn't that called revenge? I don't think that's karma anymore. No, no, I disagree because that's totally something different. That is called getting payback. that it's not karma karma is the idea that nature will take care of itself and that that person will get what's deserving you know uh at some point so i would say no karma can never be taken in into your own hands i'm with you last but not least pineapple belongs on pizza it doesn't belong on pizza so i say nay on that but i don't it's like it doesn't belong there but it doesn't necessarily bother me if it's on there. Okay. It wouldn't be your first choice of pizza.

1:51:05Yeah. Like if you go back to, you know, Italy and like whenever they were coming up, I don't think pineapple was one of the first things they decided to put on it. I think it took a long time for people to discover that. Yeah. It's more modern thing. So to me, when you ask me, does it belong on pizza? I'm like, no. Okay. But I can get with it. You know, I can get behind it. People have been pretty split 50 50 today. I'd say. I guess it must be a Hawaii thing. If they call it Hawaiian pizza. Pineapple and ham. Spam. Spam? I've never had pizza with spam. I've never had spam. That would be interesting.

1:51:41Have you tried spam? I love spam. I've never tried it yet. Haven't tried it yet. I mean, I can do it like once or twice a year. I'm not saying I have spam all the time. It's like baloney. It's your go-to. It's like I can't do baloney unless it's like down the street at Robert's Western. Have you ever had the baloney sandwich? I have a weird thing with like lunch meats. Oh, do you? Yeah. Then you probably wouldn't like it. No. There's nothing better. Like 2 a.m. being smashed at Robert's, getting you a bologna sandwich with a bag of chips and a PBR. PBR too? Okay, maybe I'll give it a go. For like six bucks.

1:52:14A deal. A bargain. Yeah, I don't go down here. I don't go on Broadway a lot, but if I go to Broadway, it's one of like two places. That is your spot. Tootsies, Robert's, Western World, get you a PBR and a bologna sandwich. I just want to go wherever you get the fit. I got to write that down. H-Bar C. H-Bar C. I'm telling you, the jacket. I'm on it. I got like 15 of them. William, thank you so much for coming on. Where can people find you? Where can they listen to your music? Everywhere. Everywhere. I'm on Instagram, TikTok, Spotify, Apple Music, all the streaming platforms. Got a new record coming out the 20th of June.

1:52:48If I can drop that in there. Yeah, it's exciting. It's been about a year in the making and I'm very proud of it. Very happy to finally have it out. That's awesome. Congrats. In a few weeks. So yeah, June 20th. New album, Whiskey Lies and Alibis is the name of it. Okay, cool. It should be out actually around the same time as this episode. Oh, awesome. So good timing. And it might be out now. I don't even know. It might be out now. What's your Instagram handle so people can really find you? William Beckman. B-E-C-K-M-A-N-N. Perfect. Beckman. Thank you so much. You crushed it. You did so good. Oh, thank you.

1:53:18I hope you guys enjoyed the episode. We had some crazy stories, some wild takes, and I hope you maybe discovered your new favorite country artist. Thanks again to Warner Music Nashville for having me out. Maybe next year we'll run it back. And if you want more content, we've got three bonus episodes going up this month. It's going to be a good time over on Patreon. See you there. Bye, guys. Thank you.

1:54:21We'll be right back. Describe the premieres Wednesday on ABC. And stream the next day on Hulu. Side effects may include laughing, cheering, and lots of high fives. I'm no Superman. Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross