225: Power Struggles..

30:51I simply told her I didn't know. Maybe because she didn't know her as long as the other colleagues, and so she was distant. She seemed to accept that, but would no longer leave at the same time as everyone else and would either go early or hang back. Brian, another co-worker, approached me on Friday and asked to talk to me privately. He told me he had been at lunch with Kate, the co-worker in question, and she had gone to pay for the food. She left her phone on the table. It lit up with a text and he saw it was from Valerie, my wife's name. The text basically said, quote, did you see him talking to her today?

31:29What did he say? Then, quote, do you think Heather is going to stay at that job long? When Kate came back to the table, he asked her if that was Valerie, as in my wife. She got a deer in headlights look and said, quote, oh yeah, we text sometimes. We're friends. He said he thought it was weird because she put her phone in her purse without even checking the messages he had asked about, and then she just wanted to go. I went home and I snooped on my wife's phone. I know it was wrong, but I had a feeling that if I asked her, she would deny it or become defensive and not show me the phone. There were weeks worth of texts that basically were little reports on what went on at work.

32:10If Heather talked to me, what we talked about, did she hug me goodbye? Did she touch me at all? Did I laugh at her jokes? Did the guys think she was hot? Did I join in with them? Did I look like I was flirting? Kate was also apparently talking up Valerie at work to Heather. She made sure to mention often we were married. How great Valerie my wife was. How long we'd been together. I even read one that said, quote, I told her, quote, Val works in a bakery. I bet if anyone tried to steal her husband, she'd just chop them up and bake them into a pie. Ha ha. Which was pretty fucking creepy. A lot of things started coming together then.

32:55Heather was much more distant lately. She seemed hesitant to say goodbye at the end of the day. We used to talk casually like everyone else at work, but now she would just say hi and bye mostly. I've been sitting on this information all weekend. Today at work, I could hardly look at Heather for shame of it, and I couldn't look at Kate for my disgust. I haven't been able to approach my wife about this because I just don't know how or what to say. I feel frustrated and very much weirded out. I feel gross too, like I've had my every move watched without knowing it and as if just talking to a co-worker is doing something wrong.

33:31I haven't talked to anyone else about this, not even Brian who first mentioned it. I don't know what to do from here. I don't even know what this means for our relationship. It feels like something big has changed because I haven't even been able to look at her the same way and all of my interactions with her since Friday have been kind of forced and faked. I need to talk to her and figure out what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. I feel very lost right now. This is a big one. This is insane. This is a big one. This isn't just, oh, I was insecure in this. This turned into a serious deal.

34:12I know exactly what Jerry would say. My dad? Keeping score. As soon as you're keeping score. The game's over. So in my mind, it's like, oh, first of all, the pie thing. She's not a butcher. That was so weird. She's not Dexter going to chop you up and then bake you into a pie. Oh my God. Why are you threatening your coworker? Who comes up with that? You watch, she's watching way too much true crime. Okay. Because we've been watching a lot of true crime. We have. And she's watching more than us. I'll tell you right now, the four Clues episodes I recorded last week are really good. And yeah. Would you come up with that?

34:53No. I wouldn't threaten my coworker. To me, that's a threat. Oh, if someone steals her husband, she'll bake him up in a pie. How did Kate get so radicalized from her all of a sudden? Kate's gone goofy too. I'm curious what Valerie told her to, I don't know, but overall, this is a serious relationship problem because now it's a total trust problem. You clearly don't trust me. What if outside of work, Heather was just a friend of his, genuinely a friend? I mean, we're talking, this has just wider, you know. Ramifications for sure. Than it does just with this one person. I agree. Because this is any person that she feels threatened by going forward, it's going to be an issue.

35:48Yeah. And then to have people, yeah, it's, I don't know. I'd be in a I don't know what I'd do I don't even know what to say right now I can't come up with the words because I can't imagine being in that position and I don't know what I would do there's so many things wrong with it because I think not only does your partner not trust you clearly very insecure but also is malicious is almost like stalking this person through this coworker, which is weird. And the coworker is also seemingly a stalker, but it's like for this wife to bake all these things for people and give everyone something but Heather, this is a cruel, vindictive, malicious person.

36:38Like there's so many issues you can take from this one problem. And no matter which way you spin it, the wife is not looking good, not looking very sane, clearly needs to go to therapy and work through some big issues. And then couples therapy at this, I mean, it's, this is. Couples therapy would be, that's the bare minimum. Yeah. The bare minimum. It needs to be like coupled in with that. Yeah. Because this is just something like personally, I don't think I would be able to get past like to know that my partner does not trust me in the slightest, that I can't even go to work and not be monitored throughout my whole entire day.

37:20And, you know, as it reads and as we're assuming, he's done nothing wrong. True. And if you've genuinely... Very true. If you genuinely have done nothing wrong and this is how your partner's treating you and your colleagues, that's tough to come back from. Yeah. That's why I'm so curious. What does that look like going forward? I'm trying to put us in that category. even though it would be a crazy thing for us to end up in that position. But I mean, I don't like I wouldn't want to lose you, but that's just. I don't know where you'd go. No, I'd love for some counselors to maybe chime in on this one.

38:02Like if you're a therapist out there and like this was your hypothetical couple, like where would you go from here? Like this is the Roach Motel. Like this is a tough hole to dig your way out of. That's for sure. This feels like first relationship, 18 to 22 type of insecurity. Yeah. You know, where we've had a lot of stories with that, but it's not married, been together for eight years in your 30s. No. You know? This is insane. I just like, I don't have enough words to say like how serious this is. And it's like, oh, well, it's not, you know, this, this, and this. It could be so much worse, but there's so much wrong with this.

38:48And the top comment seems to pick up on the outrage I feel because it says, This is outrageous. Your wife has completely undermined you in a professional capacity and allowed her insecurities to jeopardize your career. I would be infuriated. First things first, I would tell your wife that you know what has happened and that it is completely unacceptable. I would then organize marriage counseling for her to work through her insecurities and for you to help rebuild your trust in her. Let's get this straight. She has let you down here. She has broken your trust. She needs to apologize and work to change this gross behavior fast, or I would be hot-footing it out of there real quick.

39:27I guess the first test really is when you bring it up, how does she react? if it's deny, deny, deny, deny, then you kind of know where you're headed. You have a tough hill to climb. I think at that point, if it's deny, deny, deny, I'd be seeking separation. Right. Because it's giving unhinged, borderline, real bad behavior. It's giving like a different version of the show You without the killing. It's giving like the stalking aspect. She is, yeah, fully. She is stalking. She is stalking poor Heather. And it's not, it doesn't matter that she's not the one in the parking lot peering through the windows.

40:09She might be. I wouldn't put it past this girl. But it's like that because you're doing it through someone else. And it is true. I mean, that puts you in such an awkward position at work. And also just poor Heather from the beginning, just starting her career, just coming into this, trying to do her best, trying to be part of this team, work on this project. and she's met with all this crazy-ass shit? Like, that would be very discouraging. No, it's really, really unfortunate. And someone does reply to the top comment and get into that. Let's not forget the potential undermining of Heather's career as well.

40:46Assuming OP is being truthful about his interactions and feelings, or lack thereof, with Heather, this poor woman is being ostracized at work for no other reason than her looks. That's fucking despicable of your wife to cause such disruption to an innocent woman. she should be ashamed of herself. And it just sounds so wild that I'm scared we see the other side of it at some point. We do get, although it'd be hard to trust, but we get the wife's perspective. And it's, I saw this, I saw him texting, calling late night. I saw them leave this place dinner together. I don't know. We don't have her side, but that's what makes this hard, right?

41:27Because you never know. but I think assuming that we're trusting the Raiden as it is, it's crazy. It's crazy. I feel like honestly he might be going easy on the Raiden in how bad this probably really is because this is his wife. He loves her. I'm sure there's other details that were like worse that OP's not sharing. And I would hope that he would do everything within his power to make this right for Heather at work. I don't know if you could even involve HR because like it's your wife. And if you tell HR your wife is targeting a coworker, like that's your job on the line. So like, I don't know where you go.

42:11I don't know if you go to Heather and just like apologize for making her feel awkward. Like clearly Heather has picked up on this. Your wife should not be invited to any happy hours with your coworkers any longer. Like there needs to be distance and separation and that is the punishment for the way she's acted. That's not a punishment. That is just the consequence of her actions. And especially until you figure out your own relationship at this point. Yeah. New fear. Really? Well, it's just like, oh my God. I just, in my life at this age, I cannot - I would not do this. No, that's not what I'm saying.

42:46I'm just saying at this age, I cannot imagine dealing with a partner that's that insecure. I just, I don't have the capacity for that in my life at this point. There was a time, sure, there was a time, but just not now. I, that feels like I'd be going so far backward and that we would be going so far backward. Cause I don't ever see us in that. No, never. This would never be me. I love making friends. I love humans. I think everyone's beautiful in their own way like i just really would never ever be threatened by someone else and like in my head i'm like if someone else can take you then i don't want you exactly trust someone until they show you they can't be trusted yeah don't go find a reason don't go fishing you're ruining it for yourself yeah look at how it's backfiring you know op does have a couple comments i'm gonna bring up counseling today when i get home from work and talk to her about this.

43:47I think a counselor would be great help in this situation, someone to mediate and guide us through navigating this issue and the underlying issues that cause this. The fact that OP is even considering trying to work it out makes me even think further that he's done absolutely nothing to even cause any sort of suspicion. No, I'm feeling - There's no wrongdoing. I think he's being very truthful. Someone who would be like guilty of something would probably just break it off. They wouldn't want to try and work things out. I don't know. We'll see. I know. We shall see. Indeed. Because we got an update.

44:28Oh, wow. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Revolve. If you're looking at your closet right now thinking, no, none of this is working. Just go to Revolve. I love that they have the brands I actually want. There's always something new and I can order a few options because the shipping is fast and the returns are easy. Go to Revolve.com slash THT to shop my faves and use code THT for 15 % off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out. This episode is brought to you by Billie. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter. I'm in hibernation mode and I grow out my leg hair a little bit.

45:06But it's getting warmer and now I'm excited for that first shave of the season. And if you are, then you got to get the Billy razor into your life. It's designed for how women actually shave, legs, pits, toes, happy trail, wherever prickles decide to show up. It has five sharp blades and a pivoting head so you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics. And it comes with a magnetic holder so your razor stays dry on the wall instead of sitting in a shower puddle. Grab a Billy razor in your favorite color in store or at mybilly.com. So what I didn't mention is this post is a little vintage.

45:43This is coming from 2016. So update, which comes two days after the original post, says this. First off, I would like to thank everyone for their responses and for taking the time to give me advice. I did not expect the 300 comments or so I received. So please don't take it personally if I didn't reply to yours. On to the update. I took the general advice and confronted my wife and used therapy as a non-negotiable term. So Tuesday when I posted, I saw Kate at work and bluntly said, quote, You don't need to report on me today or any day after this. I'll be talking to my wife after I'm done today.

46:25She got this blank look on her face and said she didn't know what I meant. But I noticed her hanging around significantly less than usual after that. I did my best to focus on my work But I asked to go home early because it was just impossible with everything looming ahead of me for me to even concentrate I went home and texted my wife that I was home early and I needed to talk to her when she was done with work So to please come home right away I got a bunch of what's going on? What's wrong? texts But just kept telling her that I talked to her at home She got home and I got straight into it right away I told her I knew about the text with Kate, about the spying, the harassment of Heather.

47:10She was mad at first and kept adamantly saying she did nothing wrong and if I had nothing to hide, then why did it matter? I told her to please not play me for a fool and outlined all of the things her behavior meant, like a lack of trust and sheer vindictiveness. I brought up the consequences like my damaged trust and drama in the workplace. I also brought up how my job could be at risk because of this. She made a point to say they couldn't fire me without also removing Heather. It's done. As she'd say she was being inappropriate towards a married man in the workplace and Kate would back her up.

47:51This is done. Right then, this is done, okay? If I'm in that position, it's exactly what we talked about. That's giving psychopath. Yeah. That brought us to a heated argument, and it ended with her crying and me yelling. She started asking, quote, who the fuck is Heather to you that you give so much of a shit anyways? And derailed into this whole thing about me caring too much about someone I claimed meant nothing to me. I don't want to get into too much detail because this would be extremely long, but the conversation was a good five to six hours long. It ended with her agreeing to go to couples therapy and individual if the couples therapist so deemed it.

48:33She apologized to me a lot and admitted that she'd been acting out of jealousy and anger towards Heather. She asked if I wanted her to apologize to Heather in person, but I said no. I didn't want there to be more drama. I watched as she texted Kate and told her to stop and that she was sorry for dragging her into it. She gave me the password to her phone for transparency, but I told her it was pointless as if she really wanted to continue, she could just delete the text before I saw them or change the name or whatever. I told her I expected her to keep her word to stop because if I got any indication that this was still going on after our talk, that I would separate from her and file for divorce.

49:15Yesterday morning, things still seemed tense, but it was to be expected. She still kissed me before going to work and we had normal text conversations on our commute. I get to work and Kate apologizes to me and I accept it but tell her our work relationship from here on out is forever changed and there's no going back from it. I tell her that beyond work conversation we have nothing else to talk about. She accepted it and went on to start the day. Lunch rolls in. I ask Brian if he'll let me buy him lunch and thank him for telling me. We go to have lunch and he asks me if I've heard Heather put in a request for a transfer.

49:51Apparently on Tuesday when I left early, Heather asked why I wasn't at my desk because she had brought over the week's project booklet and had seen me there earlier. Kate, of all people, told her that I had gone home to, quote, deal with personal issues. When Heather asked her if everything was all right, Kate told her that she hoped so because, quote, I don't want to see someone come between Valerie and OP's marriage. There must have been a bit more to the exchange because Heather went all the way up to our boss's boss and asked for a transfer to a different department. I feel extremely embarrassed because without a doubt, I feel like that guy now in the office.

50:35I know Brian isn't a gossip, but of course people will ask why Heather transferred and without a doubt, it will eventually get out. People who used to talk to me casually will probably stop. The women of the office will feel as if they need to keep their distance. And I feel so ashamed that I can't even approach Heather to apologize for the stress this must have caused her. I doubt she would even want to see my face at this point. So yes, wife has agreed to counseling, both couples and individual, apologize to me, all those things. But the damage is now done, and I feel like complete shit about work now.

51:11I guess I shouldn't have been so naive to think that just fixing this with my wife would make everything else go away. Anyways, thank you for all the advice. I was feeling very at sea before writing this post. I still feel a bit lost as far as how to deal with the fallout of all of this, but at least I have one part of it sorted or on its way to being sorted, so that's positive. The crazy thing about it is really is that you are in some ways tied to what your partner does. Inevitably, you know, a wife did all of this, instigated every piece of it. You were just doing your thing, going to work, doing your job.

51:54But now you have to deal with the consequences of what she did. And, you know, when you become like married with someone or even maybe before in one way or another, you're kind of tied to their actions. And that's scary. I mean, but that's also part of the commitment, I guess. I also think it's probably good that Heather did that because she can start fresh somewhere and not be. because it would be hard in her shoes to go forward and just kind of try to keep doing your thing when you know there's this whole dynamic in the background going on. I'd want to get out of there too. I'd be like, next office, how far do I need to drive?

52:43I know. And I'm going to, you know, keep doing my thing. And yeah, he's awkwardly now has to navigate this new work situation because of his wife. So I wonder how much that'll take a toll going forward. As good as couples counseling and all that can be, you have to deal with the effects of this for however long. From this, I would have a hard time. I would always feel like I'm looking over my shoulder. I wouldn't want my wife involved with any of my coworkers. No more holiday parties for you, Missy. But I'm curious if anyone else feels this way. But I don't feel like OP is really doing enough in regards to making things right with Heather.

53:36I feel like OP should apologize. And I wish there was like an HR person in my head to like, tell me the way you can apologize without getting in trouble. But like, hey, like, I'm sorry if things have been uncomfortable. Like, I just want you to know, like, you do not have to transfer on my behalf. I've really enjoyed working with you. blah blah blah blah blah like I do think it needs to be said like hey if you want this job you don't have to transfer because what if this is Heather's dream job what if she's taking a downgrade in pay or a title if she's transferring like Heather should not have to do that and I honestly come back though once she's already made the ask it is but they might not be able to accommodate Heather.

54:19Like, and I get this post is vintage, but like if anyone else is out there in this situation, like if you're the Heather in this situation, you shouldn't be penalized for no fault of your own for something that doesn't have quite literally anything to do with you. But that is the interesting part about life. It comes up in so many different ways that you end up in very, very tough situations out of none of your own doing. And sometimes for, you know, the betterment of, of your work life and for your mental health, sometimes it sucks, but you make the choice to, to change like that because it's just, you, you get out of all that, even though you did nothing to be in that position.

55:09So that's a tricky one. Yes, she shouldn't have to. None of this is on her. It's totally unfair. But that's the crazy part about life is you end up with things that are so unfair, but just you look at the bigger picture and you say, I'd be happier doing this and get out of this mess. It sucks. I hate that, but. I know. It's just this whole thing just really pisses me off. top comment on the update has since been deleted a lot of people responding to it though i hope it was worth it to her because she fucked up his job and his work relationships and made a woman request to transfer to a different department i feel so horrible for heather christ if that hasn't put her off or ruined her job for her it'll be fucking miserable valerie won and that's so fucking disappointing true literally she got what she wanted at the end of the day i know I hope someone comes in and replaces Heather and is like just right on that same level and just had the wife has to face that I just think OP needs to be done especially because this comment we haven't picked apart this yet but the next top comment does quote she made a point to say they couldn't fire me without also removing Heather as she would say she was being inappropriate towards a married man in the workplace and Kate would back her up.

56:31Am I reading that right? Am I reading that as her respect for you is so little that the primary goal is taking down Heather? And if that means taking you down in the process, then so be it. This is bad. This is bad, bad. You are staring a lot of therapy in the face here, like years. If things get better from it, then great, but this is deeply rooted stuff with many layers and is not going to be an easy fix. And that, that again speaks to that vindictiveness, that cruelness. So you're willing to lie to get an innocent woman fired because you're so insecure about yourself, because you don't trust your partner.

57:18And I don't care if OP did cheat. I don't care if OP cheated 10 times. If you don't trust him after that that's your choice to stay with that person but to take some innocent person out no that's on you beyond bat shit so right with all that op should take all that understand that be like yeah maybe it's maybe it's too big of a hill to climb maybe it's time maybe it is time Man, oh, man. Oh, okay. Going to move on to this next one. See, I like stories like that because then any problems that come up for us or just in regular life, you can think, oh, this isn't that bad. Look, it could be like this.

58:03We're good. We're good. We're good. Yeah. Cheers. We're good. Yeah. No, I feel the same way. I feel like that's what initially got me into reading Reddit stories. So like, in an odd way, gave me this sense of like, I'm not alone in my chaos. Like I can connect with these people out there. And like, I'm going - And it could be so much worse. I'm going through a similar issue where, hey, oh, that's a little worse than where I'm at. But like, let me comment. Let me try to help. Yeah. We're all in this together. That's what makes Reddit so cool. Even if it's like, hey, my car is having this issue.

58:37A million people will comment and be like, I think it's this. Try this. And it's all genuine ass advice. It's just real, genuine people. There's probably haters and shit on there, but I'm saying there's real, genuine people trying to just help everyone in the smallest and the biggest things. It's great. Absolutely. Okay, moving on to this next one now. Okay, so this next one is coming from our very own 2Hotakes subreddit, 10 hours old, titled, I told my sister she's not allowed to drop off her baby at my place anymore. Now she's playing victim. Okay, I, 28 female, am fully prepared for the pitchforks if I'm actually being an asshole here, but I'm seriously over it.

59:25My older sister, 31 female, had a baby eight months ago, and ever since, I've apparently become her backup daycare. No convo, no warning, just texts like, hey, I'm dropping Layla off for a few hours, and then she's gone for six to seven hours. At first, I didn't mind. I love my niece, and I figured postpartum is rough, but this turned into a weekly thing, and then twice a week, sometimes three. I'd come home from work, literally still in my scrubs, and my sister would already be on my couch, halfway out the door with a, quote, you don't mind, right? Like, question mark, question mark, question mark.

1:00:07When did I agree to this? The final straw was two weekends ago. I had a rare weekend off, was planning to do nothing but sleep, clean, binge shows, maybe even be sad in peace, lol. My sister texted me at 9 a.m. saying, quote, coming over in 20, need a break. I said, quote, hey, actually not today. I really need some time to myself. Her response? Question mark? Quote, you live alone. You have time to yourself every day. Y 'all, I saw red. I told her point blank I'm not her babysitter and that she can't just decide I'm free because I'm single and childless. I said I love her and Layla, but I'm not going to be guilted in a parenting someone else's kid on demand.

1:00:54Yes. She started crying, told our mom, I quote, hate being an aunt. And now half my family's giving me passive aggressive quote, must be nice to have free time comments. Oh God, no. Like I didn't work six days straight last week. Like I don't have my own mental health to manage. So am I the bad guy for setting a boundary here? Should I have just sucked it up and helped because she's family, I'm genuinely torn, but also low-key annoyed as fuck. No, people abuse the shit out of the, oh, but your family. No. I don't, are you, this is, okay, we're not just backup babysitter. We are a full-time babysitter.

1:01:41Yeah. We're full-time. Yeah. And the second you, I mean, you've been so incredibly nice, overly nice, too nice. And the second you just say, sorry, not today. I need time for myself. Then all of a sudden you're. This is a big power struggle. She's trying to strong arm OP, take advantage and you're on the money. Like this is not babysitting three days a week, sometimes dropping her child off for six to seven hours. And I get it. She needs a break. But hey, this other family that's piping in can't stay out of this business, can't shut their mouths. They can step up and watch little Layla. This is when I pick up and I move to Iceland.

1:02:27I think that's my this this just got me there. this is me packing up everything applying to a hospital in Reykjavik and I'm moving I'm out if you need me I'll be at least at least six hours away by plane by plane yeah I mean I don't think yeah if you want to move to Iceland it's magical beautiful love it there but you want me to babysit send baby on a plane okay six hours good luck I feel like this is a great start and I would start responding to people. Hey, it's so great. You think I have free time, but you know, I don't, but if you happen to have free time, my sister would really appreciate your babysitting services.

1:03:09I'm sure. I'd start putting it back in their court to be like, Hey, I appreciate you. You know, trying to lock in a babysitter for Layla. I'm unavailable. But if you want to offer your services, my sister would really appreciate that. Yeah. Cause aren't you retired and just, you know watch tv uh yeah okay no i'm honestly i like that but i'm not responding right away yeah i'm just going dark i am off the grid i'm not responding to the damn person nope no thanks no i'm in i'm taking my weekend now for sure i am locking my doors she ain't getting no key no more okay no what the on the couch already walking out like you are being this Oh because its family is being abused It's a power struggle It is totally taking advantage No This It's times like this you're thankful you don't have siblings Yeah.

1:04:10Oh my God. And then to run to mommy. My siblings would never do this though. But then she runs to mommy. Mom, guess what? Hey, Layla, go hang with grandma. And then pulled the being a bad aunt card. Doesn't want to be a good aunt, whatever it was. It's strange. no top comment has been deleted next top comment do the rest of the family members work seven full days a week no then they have some free time too must be nice change your locks yeah op responds thank you that's exactly what i've been thinking i'm not the only one with free time i'm just the only one they expect to say yes every time. Must be nice is wild when I'm the one getting run into the ground.

1:05:02And like, I just, I can see the sister, if she doesn't come back down to earth, this causing an issue between what could be such a beautiful aunt niece relationship. I don't know. I don't know how you navigate this. I think you have to set your boundary 100%. But then, you know, in the long run, hopefully she just understands not to take advantage of you. So you can build that relationship. Yeah, no, I think this is a growing pain that needs to be worked through. Like you decide to have a kid. So be a parent. Yeah. Kids are not accessories. Like kids are not accessories. You know, everyone needs a break.

1:05:46Every parent needs to focus on their mental health as well. it's okay to ask for help but there's a difference between asking for some help and fully taking advantage and then guilt tripping someone and trying to assert this weird dominance over them by involving other family and creating a circus yeah no no but uh top comment op did respond to i feel like it was kind of in regards to like them and other family members like stepping in and getting involved in the drama because op goes right it's always the people doing nothing who got the most to say. Like, if y 'all are so worried about my niece not getting enough attention, feel free to clear your own schedules.

1:06:27Until then, I'm not going to feel bad for having boundaries. OP is with it. I love this for you. I think you're on the red track. I don't love the situation for you. No, I love the fact that you're setting boundaries and like really not falling victim to the guilt trip and these passive aggressive comments because when a whole family starts coming at you, it's easy to think you're in the wrong. Yeah. But you're holding true to your guns and I really appreciate that. Moving along. Keep us posted. I'd love an update. Love an update. This episode is brought to you by Cash App. I myself have fallen for a scam.

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1:08:20It can unlock better rates, more options, and real savings. So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on credit karma for less craziness and more credit. Trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does have to do with a story that talks about a very toxic, abusive dynamic in a relationship. So if you feel that's triggering for you today, please skip ahead. Markers will be in the description. This next one, I'm very confused by it. I haven't really read the full post.

1:08:59I read the title. Clearly seemed like a little bit of a power dynamic thing. So we're getting into it. Let's do it. This is coming from Relationship Advice, 22 hours old, titled, My 30 Female Boyfriend, 37 Male, Uses My Poor Eyesight and Glasses as a Part of Sex. I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of years now. On the surface, we have a good relationship and he ticks so many of my boxes. My friends love him, my parents love him, and they always say how lucky I am to have found him. But there's one aspect that's been bothering me for years, and I'm finally realizing how much it's impacted me.

1:09:40I'm extremely nearsighted. My prescription is negative 14 slash negative 15. And without my glasses, I can't see my hand if it's an arm lengths away. So I'm basically blind and dependent on visual aids to function. Over the years, my boyfriend and I have somehow developed a norm in our relationship that taking off my glasses becomes his way of initiating sex or intimacy. He never asked or said anything. He would just remove my glasses. I've asked if I can please keep them on for the time being, but he doesn't listen. Sometimes he takes them away before I'm even awake. If I reach for my glasses and they're not on my nightstand, I already know what's coming.

1:10:24Afterwards, he gives them back and it's become our unspoken pattern. Now, that part I don't mind much. I can put these down as his kinks, but the part that bothers me are the times where he's held onto them as a part of foreplay and making me beg in a way he found playful and teases me on how thick my glasses are. I hated it. It's demeaning and makes me feel a little humiliated about my eyesight. It stopped feeling okay a long time ago. The more I think about it, the more I realize he's always in control when it starts, when it ends, and when I get to see again. A few days ago, I finally said something.

1:11:07I told him, very nicely, I didn't want my glasses to be a part of our sex life anymore, and what's been happening made me feel vulnerable, like he was taking advantage of my dependence on them. I even said it was starting to feel like he was exploiting a disability. I literally can't function without them on my face. It's not kinky. It's just disabling. He got defensive immediately, told me I was accusing him of something horrible and attacking his character. We argued and fought for hours, both of us angry, and eventually went to bed without resolving it. The next morning, when I woke up, my glasses were gone.

1:11:48When I asked for them, he said, quote, Since you think I've been taking advantage of your disability, let's see how it really feels to be disabled.

1:12:01Wow. I am fucking gobsmacked. And he left the house. I eventually found them in the kitchen with one of the arms broken and one of the lenses had fallen out. And after crying myself back to sleep, I spent the day trying to fix them. Now I'm here typing with them crooked on my nose, one hand holding the frame together to keep the lenses in place, trying to figure out what just happened. I genuinely love this man and he's been amazing in so many ways. but for some reason he needs me to be blind and powerless to be intimate with me and I've lost trust and sense of safety however a part of me really wants to fix this move on make this work how can I approach this going forward the man you love and want to fix this with is not is not the person who he is no this is this is not you're you're seeing a facade to deliberately take your glasses in the morning and say, let's really see how disabled you are and break them?

1:13:11Well, yeah. So honestly, when we got there, I wasn't super shocked because we were going downhill fast. The first part that was actually just insane was the statement of, and this is building, right? So we started with, this has been going on for years. I've been uncomfortable with it for years. I spoke up and tried to say something about it and it's just never been taken seriously. And then it was like the beginning of a horror film. It felt like a trailer. It did. Or not a horror. Yeah, horror film. No, this feels like a horror film. Horror film. I get horror and the other one mix up, but the horror, like freak out, jump scare, was when it was, sometimes I wake up and they're not on my nightstand and I know what's coming.

1:14:00Oh, that's not any way someone wants to be romanced and have lead into intimacy. That's disgusting. I know what's coming? No, he's using you. That is using you. It sounds like a torture chamber. That's not a relationship. That's not a loving partner that cares about your experience and your enjoyment as well. He is using you as a sex doll And he's giving you a warning by taking your glasses so you can't get away. This is so fucking scary. This is bad. I mean, it's abuse. It is. From the start. Like, you are, like she's saying, taking advantage of a disability. She can't fucking see. This is abuse.

1:14:46I think if you change out any other mobility aid, any site aid, any other aid for someone that has a need, it would be very clear cut. Oh, my fiance moves my wheelchair every morning, so I can't get up and go, and so we'll be intimate. No. And I get there's probably a different level there. Like someone who is a wheelchair user might be like, Morgan, that's so different. Yes, but we're putting it in the same category. It's a method of control. It's a method of control. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to get a point across. It just feels... I mean, it is abuse. It is a method of control. It is him trying to gain power and manipulate and have OP defenseless and vulnerable.

1:15:37And that is sick. It's not okay if that's a kink of his and you're just like, oh, it must just be a kink of his If that were a kink of yours, which i'm sure exists For sure then that's it. Then we're talking about a whole different story But you said very early on in this write-in I am not comfortable with it. I've asked him not to do it anymore and then the reaction is Oh, they're not there when you wake up and oh, they're destroyed in the kitchen. Good luck. I'm out of here you now have to get up find your glasses and you're trying to fix them so you can fucking see so that then you can go about what you need to do let me show you what it's really like to be disabled who the fuck says and does that like my fear is is the last statement of this is I really want to work this out I love him and like I started with the person you love isn't the real person that's standing in front of you.

1:16:41No. There's something. And yeah, your family says, oh, you're so lucky to met him. Someone can be a totally different person in front of other people in public. For sure. And then be a total nightmare behind the scenes. That's the mask he's putting on. You're not looking at the person that you love. This isn't, you look, it's two different people. Yeah. And I hope that becomes clear to you because this isn't the last step. This isn't going to stop. No, it's going to escalate. Yes. Holy shit, it's scary. You need to be able to find a way to get there mentally on your own. Whatever course of action that takes, I hope you get there and then exit safely as you can because it's giving like, this is dangerous.

1:17:29It is. This is dangerous. It's just scary from the start. It's really scary too. I like had to scroll back up and I'm like, how, wait, how long have they been together? They've been together a couple of years now. It's been going on the whole time. I know, but it is like, it's, it's seeming based on the post that this is like the first time OP has like really, really been like, okay, enough is enough. Like we're done here with this. And so that like pushback from OP really sends him spiraling where he like is going to show his true colors now. Like, that's what's scary. Like, he's just been waiting.

1:18:05He's just been like waiting in the wings to snap. And it's just like, God, like you think you know someone. And like, he's 37. OP is 30. Like, at that age, like age gap isn't as bad. It's not as concerning. Like, it's fine. But you know who he is because a 37-year-old, 37-year-old is fully developed. They're not changing. No. No. Top comment. This is abusive and dangerous behavior. He's purposefully disabling you, making you powerless, and flat out ignoring your nose. This is no different to him tying you up against your will. The fact that his reaction to you telling him you felt vulnerable was to actively make you more vulnerable and dependent on him makes this an incredibly dangerous person.

1:18:58Next comment down. This. I cannot impress on OP enough how abusive and wrong her boyfriend's actions are. Instead of him saying, Oh my god, I'm so sorry, baby. Of course you can have your glasses. Why didn't you say something sooner? God, I feel terrible. He showed her who he really is. I feel ill reading this. OP, you need to make your plans to leave. He's already escalated to breaking the very device you need to be safe, physically and emotionally. He could use this against you to do real physical harm to you. do you have family you can stay with god yeah you almost think like do i need and this is assuming you continue the relationship you almost start to think do i need an emergency backup pair of glasses that only i know where they are yes and if you're thinking about but if you if you have to get to that length it's terrible scary no one should ever be in that position but until you can have a safe exit plan yes and get out yes that might need to occur like I hope you can just go stay with family like I hope you can get out today tomorrow this post is only one day old one day old we have no comments from OP no update this is a very real account it's a part of the two-year club verified email.

1:20:21So it's giving real like other posts that I'm seeing are from Ask Reddit. How would you have died if you lived in the 18th century? What are bad traits you inherited from your parents? First post was two years ago. The next post was seven months ago. Like OP is a continuous Reddit user over the past two years, not making a bunch of fake posts. this is real without a doubt in my mind well and the fact that that comes back to bite me in the ass i'm so sorry but yeah quacking like a duck yeah and with the way it ended seeming that there's some hope in the relationship op may just honestly be in shock reading all the responses and slowly starting to understand the gravity of, and the scary and the abusiveness of this.

1:21:16And that might be like, holy shit. Oh my God. And then you start to get really freaked out and scared. So I'm like, I'm not faulting that we don't have any other update or anything. No, it's too fresh. I'm like, I'm just, the fact of when you said it's one day old, that's probably what's happening right now. And I just can't. Imagine, but thank God, like it's happening now and not anytime later. And in any more serious, it's already so serious and scary. So there's an opportunity to, you know, hopefully get out and, and rid yourself of this and now go forward and find someone that would never do that.

1:21:59You know, like, it's just, I know it's bad. It freaks me out. I had another story that really freaks me out And I don't know if I want to get into it It's another story that involves sex It also has to do with a magician And we started off this episode asking for a magician Oh my god I know, and now I'm like, fuck Michaela sent me this story And it is I mean, we're already here A story, we're already here We're already here I know I'm so sorry. We're gonna get into it and then we're gonna end I promise we're gonna end on a good note today Somewhat somewhat of a good note. Okay This episode is brought to you by chrysler Life with kids is basically a never-ending series of plot twists one minute Everyone's buckled in the next someone's dropped a snack lost a shoe or needs a bathroom break immediately That's why the newly designed chrysler pacifica is built for real life with thoughtful features like stow-and-go seating hands-free sliding doors, and passenger seating up to eight, it helps keep everything moving.

1:23:09Because family life isn't about the perfect moments, it's about making the most of any moment. Visit your local dealer or Chrysler.com to learn more and schedule a test drive today. Chrysler is a registered trademark of SCA US LLC. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe. It's super simple to use and with no selling fees. So you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted.

1:23:46Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. okay trigger warning on this one this does contain talks of essay so please skip if you can't handle that markers will be in the description thank you okay so this is coming from r slash relationship advice 14 days old titled i 24 female want to break up with my magician boyfriend 27 male due to his inappropriate magic trick. My boyfriend, 27 male, and I, 24 female, have been together for one year and three months. Our relationship has been very loving, but has started to get bumpy ever since we moved in together around our one-year anniversary.

1:24:32A little backstory. I'm in college right now pursuing my master's degree in archaeology while also working as a library clerk to earn money, whereas my boyfriend works as a magician for parties and events. Do not want this magician. Despite our different career paths, I've never had a problem with his career choice because it makes him happy. He has always found a way to make everyday magical, which has been sweet. About nine-ish months into our relationship, I had the opportunity to go on a two-month archaeological excavation in another country for school. Hell yeah. Despite us becoming long distance, he had no problem with me going, and he was very happy for me.

1:25:13He would send me gifts, letters, and he even sent things for my colleagues in order to brighten up their days. While we were doing long distance, we made plans to move into an apartment when I got back due to how much we missed each other. And a few days after I returned, we moved in together, which has been awful so far. Before living together, we would see each other a few times a week due to my busy schedule, but now that we live together, we see each other all the time. and he has started to do magic all the time. He will make my keys disappear as I'm trying to go to work or school. He tries to practice his card tricks on me while I'm doing homework.

1:25:54He makes the cleaning rig vanish when I ask him to clean and he has recently done something that makes me want to end the relationship. I have never been in this serious of a relationship before so I don't want to throw our loving relationship away just because of these bad few months. Last month, we were getting steamy and he went down on me, which isn't unusual. While he was going down on me, he was saying some dirty talk here and there. I was lost in the moment for obvious reasons, but I snapped out of it when he said, quote, oh, how did that get in there? and I watched him pull a coin from my crotch.

1:26:35He found the coin moment hilarious, but it just took me out of the moment and instantly made me annoyed, so we stopped. Later, I told him that doing magic in the bedroom made me literally dry up, so I asked him to keep that kind of magic out of the bedroom. He explained to me that he was trying to make me laugh slash have fun and he didn't apologize for it. I talked with some friends of mine about it, and they thought it was funny, so I figured that I was overreacting and needed to lighten up a bit, and he didn't do any magic tricks in the bedroom for the next few weeks. However, four days ago, we were having sex, and he suddenly started to yell, ow!

1:27:14So I quickly got off of him and was asking what was wrong. He tells me, quote, I think there's something in you. Let me check. I laid on the bed like I was that a goddamn gyno because I trusted that if something was wrong, then he would find it. After like two minutes, he says, quote, oh, here it is. And I watched as he was pulling a long ribbon thing that kept going and going and going. It took a second for me to realize that it was one of his magic tools that he had purposely put in me while he was checking to see what he felt. He found it hilarious and couldn't stop laughing while he was pulling the string more and more.

1:27:55I ripped the thing out, and while doing it, I yelled at him for doing another magic trick like that, even though I told him not to. He told me that he was just adding more fun to our sex life and that he wanted to see what the magic trick would look like if it was coming out from a crotch. The original magic trick involves putting the coil thing in your own mouth and pulling out the plastic string for a while. I was pissed off, so I made him go stay at his parents' house for the past few days. This morning, I talked with him some more, but he still thinks that it's not a big deal. I get that he's a magician and that he loves magic, but I'm still upset about him breaking that boundary I'd set.

1:28:35I'm fine with his magic tricks 85 % of the time, but sex is where I draw the line. I am demisexual, so I need to have a strong, trusting, and close relationship with someone before I can even think about having sex with them. So him breaking my boundary has really hurt me and I've lost my trust in him. However, everyone I have talked to about the situation says that what he did was hilarious. And I've been told by multiple people that I'm overreacting, which is why I decided to go to Reddit. We have built a strong relationship and I really saw myself marrying him one day. I fully trusted him and now I don't know if I ever can again.

1:29:17Should we break up or can we fix this and stay together? I'm lost, so I appreciate any advice. Thank you. I think fuck what everyone else thinks. This is a boundary you set and I wouldn't let other people convince you to not uphold that boundary when it's clearly broken. And yeah, just like the trigger warning, when you set a boundary that is sexual in nature and it is crossed, it becomes sexual assault. Yep. There's no, it doesn't matter if it's a magic trick. Yes, magic tricks are usually fun and lighthearted and whatever. But not when it crosses a boundary you set. But even the first one's just kind of like, what are you doing here?

1:30:09Is this a moment that's supposed to be funny to you? You want to make our sex life more funny? You said fun, but like, I don't know who would get turned on by being like, oh my God, you just pulled a coin out of me. That's disgusting. And where's that coin been? That's exactly what I was thinking. I don't understand. This is like a BV UTI recipe, like disgusting. And it's all about consent. As you said, not consenting, essay. Like that's what it equals. Like we can clearly identify that. And it's a kink I'm sure people would be into. But openly talk about it. Consent, have consent from both people.

1:30:57Otherwise, you do not proceed. Especially once it's like it should have been talked about before the first time. Absolutely. And then once that happened and she made it very clear, I'm not into this. I, you know, and then stuff at the end, I really need to be like secure and trusting in my partner before we even get to sexual things. Yeah. And now I've made it clear I do not want this stuff. and you do that and now you're all like, oh, I was just trying to make it fun. Like how stupid do you have to be? I never ever associated magic with anything sexual. I did not either. But now I'm just like, what the fuck is that about?

1:31:44It's just like, how clear do you have to be with someone that's supposed to be your partner, your teammate? And then it's just blatantly not heard, not taken seriously. Well, he doesn't respect her. There's no respect. I'm obviously very, very frustrated and disturbed by this situation, but I'm also like really disappointed and frustrated by all the people being like, that's hilarious. That's hilarious. And there might be some listening that are like, Hey, it's a magic trick. Like it's not that big of a deal, but let me ask you this, because this is how it feels for me. Can you recognize how big of a deal it is if someone, you know, you consent to sex and while you're having sex, they all of a sudden pull out and take the condom off and don't tell you?

1:32:35Because that's the same energy this is giving. And I would go back to your friends, OP, and I would ask them. I would say, okay, let me ask you a question. If you were hooking up with someone and they took the condom off and didn't tell you, would you be okay with that joke? Because this is the same. He's doing something to me and not telling me in the middle of intimacy, in the middle of intercourse, in the middle of sex. Like, how is that funny? That's not funny. That's disgusting. That's assault. Very similar to the last story. Very, very. Same energy. That's why I was like, oh, it's just the same energy.

1:33:16And like, I know we're doubling down this, but like, it's an important issue, clearly. It needs to be addressed, like consent and being healthy in relationships and not abusing your partner, apparently. Like, fuck. But the crowd of people around OP in the last story wouldn't say, oh, it's funny when he takes your glasses. I hope not, but I honestly could see family brushing it off. He's a great guy. You're so lucky to have him. Like somehow because it's magic, this magic trick and he's making it funny that people see it in a different light. Do you think because it's magic and it almost like is silly, like magic.

1:34:01Do you think you lose people the minute you say magic trick? Like what? I don't know. It just seems like somehow the crowd is more accepting. Not like the crowd of people around her for some reason are like, it's so funny. I don't see people being like, oh, when he takes the condom off without telling you, or when he takes your glasses and makes you unable to do anything, you're completely vulnerable. No one would be like, oh, that's so funny. Versus this somehow is funny. I have a hard time understanding how they're missing it so hard. Not once, but twice. Top comment on this one. this feels like an episode of Arrested Development.

1:34:45They're illusions, Michael. The Alliance of Magicians is not going to be happy about this. Another comment down, the magic is gone. It's time for you to disappear. Yes. A lot of people are accusing this post of being fake. A lot of people are questioning its integrity. however reddit account on this is seven months old was created long before this post however we don't have engagement in other subs however i know a lot of people out there have reddit accounts to upvote and be able to participate and not necessarily post or comment anything it's i I guarantee you, if the post is fake, this has happened.

1:35:34Well, we do get an update. Okay. First off, no, this story isn't AI or fake. It's sadly true. But I can understand why people would think that it's AI due to the absurdity of it. And that is so many of these posts. You guys, do you know how crazy of stuff I hear from you all at live shows? like weird stuff happens every day. If you watch that one show, A Thousand Ways to Die, like someone died by going in a bath of hand sanitizer because a mailman sneezed on them. Like there's people out there that are in love with their little cars and they go under them and talk to them and rub them and kiss them.

1:36:11Like people are weird. People are weird. And what do you think all the other stuff is inspired by? Truth. Secondly, thank you for everyone for the advice in the comments of my previous post. I was lost and looking for some advice because of the uncomfortable situation and the people around me felt differently about it than I did. People in the comments were right and I should trust my own feelings rather than searching for answers from the people around me. That's something I've struggled with my whole life because my family is very reliant on each other and my parents are both helicopter parents.

1:36:45So I learned from a young age that I couldn't trust my own instincts because other people know better, which is why I asked my friends and mom about the situation. I have a lot more work to do in trusting myself, but at least I'm working on it now. Here's the update. After my previous post, I read through some of the comments and realized that what my boyfriend did would be considered assault. It wasn't something that I'd even considered because I was only seeing it as him doing something stupid in the bedroom that broke my boundary and made me uncomfortable. But seeing those comments opened my eyes a lot.

1:37:20If he was willing to break my boundary only after a year of dating and could do that to me in the bedroom, then what else could he be capable of? I met with him the next day at our apartment, and I told him about my feelings, which he didn't seem to care about. I showed him the Reddit post so that he could see that other people were also uncomfortable with what happened. He read through your comments, but when he saw the word assault being used a few times, he got really aggravated. I had never seen him that angry before but he was screaming non-stop and he even whipped my coffee mug across the room.

1:37:56I ended up crying because I was scared and I think that snapped him back to reality or something because he stopped yelling and was then trying to comfort me. It made him leave our apartment again because I didn't want to be around him anymore. That night my friends helped me pack up my stuff and they took me to my parents house, which is where I'm at now. After I was out of the apartment and safe, I called him and broke up with him over the phone because I didn't feel comfortable doing it in person after his previous reaction. I'm so upset that I wasted over a year of my life dating him and even thinking about a future with him.

1:38:30Thank you all for giving me the courage to follow my feelings and break up with him for good. I really appreciate it. Also, thank you all for the jokes. It's lightened the mood and has helped me feel a little bit better about the situation. Yes, as a greb, the magic is gone and it's time for me to disappear. I think as a greb is the commenter of that comment I read. Good for you, OP. A lot of supportive comments, kind of just picking up on that like wasted time. Don't be upset about wasting time on someone. You're young and it was a year. These wasted times are so pivotal to us as adults. What you got from that relationship is a spine.

1:39:12You stood on your own two feet and said, not once, but twice, this isn't an acceptable way to treat me and it isn't okay. This is a tool you will use for the rest of your life in many of relationships. Don't feel sad, feel empowered. 100%. Yeah. And just a bunch of people commenting their stories. please listen to this op i was your age as i was getting divorced so i absolutely understand how you feel about wasted years for me it was five but holy shit my dear i am 30 now and even though it ended in divorce i don't regret my marriage because i learned so much about myself my wants needs and deal breakers this is a huge opportunity for real growth in yourself and i hope you take all of this to heart and learn from it while very importantly not blaming yourself for his actions Yes.

1:40:00Yeah, and so many people, just so many people being supportive. This comment, though, bold strategy to prove he isn't abusive by chucking a coffee mug. Happy you are safely out of their OP. Yeah, true colors come out just like in the last one. And honestly, the one before. True colors come out when people are backed into a corner and everything's revealed and they can't explain something away or justified anymore, you see some scary shit. You know, the wife lashing out and doing all the crazy stuff to the, like when she was confronted, it just seemed like, you know, it's defense, defense, defense, not accepting, not admitting.

1:40:46And then the guy in the last story, the guy in this story, it just all feels the same. but it says a lot about a person if they turn around and say, you know what? I was wrong. I agree. We probably should split up or whatever. The reaction to being confronted speaks volumes. Every time. There was no remorse. There was no, I hear you. I see how you're feeling. I understand this was bad because bottom line, I crossed your boundary and I didn't make you feel good in a moment. that's about us feeling good. And then the screaming. No, like there's no remorse. There's no empathy. There's no understanding.

1:41:32There's nothing that says he recognizes what he did was wrong and is going to make amends and move forward and make this better and not repeat it. Every single time he's been approached like, hey, no magic in the bedroom. Oh, it's funny. I was landing in the mood. It's like, but that's not how I took it. That's not how I feel. and I'm the other person in this situation. Yeah. So unless you want to use your hand going forward forever, you need to respect me and my boundaries. Otherwise, we're done. And he didn't respect it. He did it again. And now OP is done, which thank God, because clearly Magic Boy needs to get a grip.

1:42:15Magic Boy needs to stop being a predator. Magic Boy needs a lot of things. Magic boy needs a cage like Houdini that he can't get out of. Yeah, I think, you know, the screaming is always a huge red flag for me. The second someone goes to yelling and screaming and, you know, I've never understood the couples that can yell at each other and scream and then have this great relationship. I don't know what good it ever does in the context of a couple when you're going to yell and scream to try and solve something or prove a point. And then the second you pick up something and throw it across the room and break it and you're breaking like you're destroying stuff.

1:43:01Like, what is that? That's crazy. Go to a rage room or something, you know, but like we're not taking stuff and throwing it around the room. We're not in a cave. Like, come on. We've evolved past this. Some of us. Yeah. Some of us. But that's all I got on the magic story. We're going to lighten this up a little bit with a happy, it's sad, but like also feels happy in a sense story. and then I do have one that is going on Patreon that is just like also a part of this theme and it's am I overreacting husband didn't feed baby again and you want to be enraged come over and hear this story it is July's free story free like just come on over to Patreon it is beyond fucking insane.

1:43:55But let's get into this happy one because I can only take so much for one day, right? So this is coming from r slash pitbulls and it is titled Angel Was Brought to Us. I tagged this not safe of work because I don't know how people feel reading about a situation like this. TLDR, found puppy in a dumpster. Now I have a puppy, a newfound hatred for people and the need to check dumpsters every time I see one. First three pics are how I found her and her getting cleaned up. The last three pics are her the last two days. Angel was found May 29th at 6 a.m. in a dumpster. My boyfriend found her at our job's dumpster outside, and we have no clue how long she was in there.

1:44:40She was dumped and not given a chance. The people who had her kept her thin, cut her whiskers, and had fed her three musketeers before tossing her away. Their cameras pointed at the dumpsters that are owned by the auto company and my boyfriend let the sheriff know about the dumping. She was taken to the vet on Monday and received parvo shots. She has a checkup with more shots in three weeks. And we have pictures of the little nugget. This is the little baby in the dumpster. Like literally the hiniest dog I've seen in quite some time. Could never get out of there. And the dog is brown and like the dumpster is brown.

1:45:19Like I am shocked that they even found her. Like that is just like a miracle that they found this little baby. And this is her all curled up. Like so tiny. Look at this little picture just sleeping with her tongue out, a little pot belly. And then we get an update. She has been with us, my boyfriend and I, who saved her for three weeks. And she has the sharpest little tiefies. She wants to run, play, and eat as much as she can. She lets us know when she has to potty outside and she sits before food time. I'm so proud of her and my boyfriend. She has a vet visit on Saturday to see how she is doing.

1:46:03Thank you for reading. And here's another little picture of her. Look at how big she's already gotten in just that time. From having good food. Yep. Looks like a little brown pit bull with little white socks on her feet Here she is snuggled up with a little nylabone in a blankie So clearly found her way in the best home Another update She's all better now, peeing normally and drinking plenty of fluids She's very food motivated and really well behaved with our dogs She's had a few accidents, but I'm not holding anything against her. It's a journey, and I'm so honored to be on it with her. Look at those little eyes.

1:46:52She has like these golden hazel little eyes. Loves to stick her tongue out when she sleeps. Has a very cute little pink harness, like sticks. potentially chewing on op's crocs which is dangerous especially with those power puff gibbets big smile very cute dog looks like like pitbull chocolate lab mix is what i'm gathering some days i'm off with my dog encyclopedia but so many people are just like so glad you found her She looks like she's doing great. I just think like that's such a miracle, like to find her in that dumpster. She was so tiny. It's a very happy story, but it's hard for me to get past like that first photo.

1:47:44Why are you literally putting a dog in a dumpster that they have, that dog had no shot of getting out of there. No, that's the thing. If you have a dog that has an accidental litter, like if you can't take care of your dog anymore, like there's always people and shelters that will help. Like you don't ever have to do that. I just think that speaks to the depravity of that person. Justin, this was supposed to be happy. The dog got the best loving home ever. Focus on the good. it just affects me so much but i just anytime there's an outcome like that from a situation like that it's just so powerful and it shows the good in humanity and the good in just life because you know you can also take from it that like when it seems like all can just be lost and done and there's no hope there's no chance there's always a there's always a little chance there's always a little hope to have because you know as if I'm in that situation in that dumpster as that dog it was like there's no chance no shot but the one I don't know what like if he heard the dog potentially or if he was at work like taking out the trash I you know whatever the case may be it just it's so beautiful because look at how much potential that dog had look at how much love that dog has to give and how much life that dog has to enjoy and like in every one of those photos in every part of the aspect the fact the dog gets along with the other dogs like it just feels meant to be yeah even though I'm not a huge like meant to be destiny kind of person yeah there's a lot of things that show that that that is a thing so it's just yeah it just makes you feel good it reminds me of this video um tiki no there's this video on tiktok a while ago and it's this person it just shows this dog curled up under this bush in a like a shopping center maybe a grocery store type parking lot and it's just like there Oh, the little white one.

1:50:09I don't, yeah, I don't remember much about it. It was a little white dog, yeah. But it's just curled up waiting and just, you know, having to fend for itself. And it's just in its little spot for the night, but always on edge. And, like, the beginning is tough because they have to catch the dog. But, and, you know, it freaks out. But then you start to see kind of, like, this post, clips of this dog's journey. and eventually it's like laying upside down next to the person just like happier than ever in the sun tongue out probably the same thing and it's just like that's what I want for all those animals yeah anytime you can give an animal that experience it's just beautiful I know there's a video I think you guys should watch too it's um a tiktok and it's about this little dog named tiki and tiki lived with his foster mom for a while and I'm blanking on her name and she's just such a good dog mom and it's like just the most magical rehabber I've seen on TikTok like ever.

1:51:13But Tiki was like about to be put down. He was super fearful, super shut down. And this person started fostering Tiki and really gave him the grace to like come out of his shell at his own time and start trusting again. Like Tiki had a really, really bad, tragic backstory. And sure enough, Tiki just blossomed and like went and has now been adopted. And this person has another foster dog. And I just think like we all care about animals. There are so many animals out there that need to be fostered to get them out of a shelter, to create room, to prevent dogs and cats from being put down because you can foster cats too.

1:51:54And they're just as great. So if you want to like give back and like you're an animal lover, like think about volunteering this summer. I know summer and leading into fall is a busy time at a lot of shelters and rescues. So maybe go foster, maybe just volunteer and help clean and feed and walk. Like there's so much you can do to give back. I know with the floods in Texas, like our heart goes out to everyone affected by that. That's been heavy on my mind the past couple days here. There are many pets that have been displaced and it's just tragic. So, you know, if you're in Texas, maybe reach out to organizations there.

1:52:34And we're really thinking of everyone that's been affected by that. I'll share a link for the Red Cross, but thinking of you guys. That's all I got for this episode. head over to patreon if you want that other crazy story and on that note new merch is out it's there the dark brown only has a few left i don't think we're restocking that one light brown is here it's good great fit great quality but on that note thank you guys so much for being here another episode and until next time until next time bye guys bye

1:53:39We'll be right back.

1:53:45Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalk, and the rest of the gang at Sacred Heart are back for a brand new season. We play medical doctors who are besties. Just like in real life. And we'll definitely be up in each other's cases. Scrubs premieres Wednesday on ABC. And stream the next day on Hulu. Side effects may include laughing, cheering, and lots of high fives. I'm no Superman. Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season.

1:54:28You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.