226: Quite the Commitment..

42:58But like I could imagine this one, this next image I pulled up is a like cherry blossom tree. And the tattoo goes from kind of left shoulder down across the back and ends on the right flank. I'm using a horse term flank. Oblique. Oh, that flank means. It's a horse body part. Flank. It's like it's it would be. Never mind. Never mind. so I could envision like the tree kind of like wrapping down and then kind of keeping the same continuation okay under the butt yeah think about like cheeky shorts like where a little a little cheek pops out you'd see the tat under the cheeky shorts yeah either way it's a lot it is way too big of a commitment to make to someone that you've been casually seeing for a year that's that's for sure and yeah it kind of reminds me of the wrong missy just like what what's that the movie of the wrong missy it's so funny oh my god you gotta watch it i think you would love it it's so ridiculous it's it's fantastic okay um but yeah pretty crazy energy so i don't necessarily think this is a relationship that should no continue on as like specifically the way that he like speaks on about her too exactly yeah it's like do her a favor do her a favor you've been using her right and i think that's clear he's been using her he's been having his cake and eating it too by being like well i don't want anything serious i only want casual but like hey you're the dream girl in bed yeah he got to have was cake and eat it too yeah truly you guys like don't waste your time on people that you like them way more than they like you so you know i was actually talking to a friend about this because i do think based off like specifically what you were saying too you know i don't think it's out of the ordinary for girls to maybe go from one relationship where they feel like they're chasing and trying to prove themselves to dating someone who is chasing them and then not being interested And I think that the psychology behind that is that you're chasing a guy and trying to prove yourself.

45:06And so it's almost like a like a human instinct that we start like playing a game in our own head, like being like, oh, if this guy who's hard to get likes me, that will prove that I'm valuable, that I'm more valuable, that I'm worthy. And if you meet someone who likes you instantly, then it's like, oh, that doesn't give me the challenge to prove that I'm worthy. So I don't know if I'm interested in him. I feel like it's almost this like mental like mind fuck in a way that happens more common than we would think. Absolutely. And I think our brain chemistry also kind of traps us in that. For guys, guys' love hormone is secreted when they're stressed.

45:45So if a guy is like in this relationship that's very like maybe toxic or stressful, the love hormone gets secreted for guys. it can happen for women as well but like I think oh I'm really butchering this regardless of like what it is like if you have these insane highs you're gonna have like oxytocin you're gonna have dopamine you can get dopamine from playing candy crush so that's why like a lot of psychologists if you you know follow any or if you listen to like couples counselors talk it's like butterflies and getting butterflies might be good early on but it's not good sustainably like You shouldn't have that anxiety forever.

46:26And so they talk about that where it's like a good, healthy relationship isn't highs and lows. It's not this like fireworks all the time. It's actually just feeling comfortable and safe. Yeah. And our brains can really resist it sometimes. Resist it. And like send us down the wrong path. Which is so interesting because we all like feel like rationally this is what we want. We want like a safe, wonderful, stable relationship. relationship but then it's like when you get to that dating stage it's like why are we why are we fleeing the scene when it feels like that what's happening why is why are people not jumping into that relationship when it looks like all green flags and I just exactly that I just think there's a lot of like psychology and chemist and like actual chemistry involved I mean yeah our brains are little like chemistry machines I saw a quote the other day too that like really fits with this and if you're thinking about like breaking up with someone who you love so much like you can't imagine not being with them but like at the same time you know they're not right you know they don't make you feel good there's a quote that says imagine how much you can love the right person for you if you love the wrong one this much yeah and it's like you have so much love to give so much and imagine just imagine if you if that's reciprocated equally or if it's truly someone that's healthy and good for you right you know what's so funny too like going off of that I actually had such a hard time with a breakup with a relationship that I felt was the wrong relationship for me that it was bad for me and and so I was like why am I struggling so much with this breakup.

48:05And I said to a friend, if I struggled this much with a relationship that I knew was wrong for me, how am I going to be if a relationship ends that was a healthy relationship? And the friend was like, you'll be much better because you'll be whole. And if you're in a healthy relationship, the split will, you'll feel yourself. When you're in an unhealthy relationship, it hurts so bad because part of you was ripped apart, but you weren't your full self when you were in that relationship. Like now you're broken. You're not your whole. And so that's why it hurts so much. And I just think about that from time to time because it's something I had never thought until they said that.

48:48But yeah, I think we will associate like, oh, this relationship hurt me so badly that it must be I should go back to it. I had so much passion for that relationship. But it's because that person wasn't good for you and you weren't your full version of yourself. that you were like clawing at them to make you full. But anyway, it was just a concept that stuck out to me. And I just think that if you're somebody who is reflecting on relationships and thinking that you loved somebody more because the breakup hurt more, really reflect on if it's just because of how chaotic it felt to be in an unhealthy relationship or if it's really like that person.

49:29Yeah, I know our brains are really crazy with what they'll make these unhealthy relationships feel like in our minds yeah and I'm like I'm I haven't had a neuroscience class in so so long but there's a variety of these neurotransmitters that like it can almost mimic an addiction yeah that's what's so crazy it can make your brain feel the same way that like an addiction does like toxic relationships can't so absolutely it's just it's wild but we have some comments for this one a lot of people are just like she is crazy that is so completely insane i would run run far if she got a tattoo to commemorate something special between you two meh but to copy your tattoos that shit crazy and ones that were so personal to a life before her op responds i haven't explained what they all mean to her so she might not know that the one tattoo is commemorating my friend but still it's pretty crazy right and yeah like if she doesn't even know that a tattoo has this meaning of like this is for my friend that passed but she chooses to get it yeah that's really weird yeah i mean what if the tattoo was referring to his sex life with a past partner and she got that on her like how silly would that be oh my god you know like that's ridiculous especially for someone if she was like a tattoo fanatic i'd be like yeah whatever some people just don't look at it that way she didn't even have tattoos before she had a little anklet tattoo like that no yeah that's we gotta get some help in on that on that one well we have an update oh first post was removed but it was about how my girlfriend got a tattoo of a tree and on the branches were copies of some of my tattoos, a couple that were very personal, memorial piece for a friend, and drawn by my kid.

51:22I thought I had been very clear about not wanting anything serious. Quick update. We broke up. I tried to stick it out, but the tattoo was too much of a turnoff, and I just didn't find her attractive anymore, which is the opposite of what she had intended with it. The breakup went about as expected. She completely lost it, and yes, she was mad because she thought it would lead to something more serious eventually. My artist agreed to finish the piece for her, and he will cover up the bits that match my tattoos. It should be very easy since there wasn't any shading done yet. I'm glad she agreed to see him because now her tattoo has a chance of looking decent and I can be certain that it will be properly covered up.

52:10I tried to get her to explain to me why she thought it was a good idea, but all she kept saying was that she truly believed that I would like it and she thought it would help move our relationship to the next level. I told her that she should see a therapist and she told me to fuck off. So there you have it. I mean, I'm really curious. I wish I had a voice note of how you said it because like you should see a therapist. Yeah, you can't really say that to people in a situation like this. Yeah. I think it's implied. It can come off very offensive if you don't say it correctly. Yeah. Yeah, you got to be delicate if you actually really are saying that with the good of your heart exactly but moving along I just I'm like actually now kind of laughing at the idea like if somebody were to be like hey Lauren I'm gonna break up with you and uh you should seek therapy I would be like I'll go go fuck yourself yeah I mean like when someone throws it in your face like that yeah it's not well it's not gonna be well received and it feels like a dig where it's like you're just kind of degrading me in a moment where I'm already getting shitted on like you're you're breaking up with me which yeah hey rightfully so I realized what I did was wrong and it was a bit much came on too strong too fast too soon whatever yeah but also like you don't need to throw it in my face like I think I kind of uh can read between the lines here I uh maybe not maybe not I mean yeah not everyone can yeah I mean maybe now that you guys are broken up maybe let uh one of her friends or family members suggest that but um yeah i mean i wasn't a big fan of op in general so no it's it's it's written i do i do like that op says that he is a good dad that's always a plus but yeah maybe just like don't date right now and focus on being a good dad and that and that's that if you want something actually casual make it actually casual literally don't string someone along yeah but okay moving along this episode is brought to you by nintendo everyone's version of me time is a little different that's why the nintendo switch 2 system is so fun with exclusive and nintendo switch compatible games like mario kart world animal crossing new horizons nintendo switch 2 edition Tom Odachi Life, Live in the Dream, or Yoshi and the Mysterious Book, there's something for every vibe.

54:50And with upgraded hardware, play at home or on the go, whenever the mood hits. Learn more at nintendo.com slash nintendo switch 2. Games and systems sold separately. Some Nintendo Switch games may not be supported or fully compatible with Nintendo Switch 2. Games rated E for everyone. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet, and maybe make some extra money in the process. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe. It's super simple to use and with no selling fees.

55:26So you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. Okay, now it is time for a very special segment this episode. I don't even know. I know. I'm surprising you. I'm really excited for this. Oh, my God. It's going to be a test of how well we know each other. Oh. I know. Okay. I'm nervous. I'm so scared. I'm really... It's going to be good. So we have a new segment. It's a Freakier Take, which is sponsored by Disney's Freakier Friday. Oh, my God. You guys, I'm freaking out. I was... Oh, my God. I was in the movie theater the other day, and the ad for it came...

56:09Or the trailer came on, and I literally was like... I was losing my mind. I almost watched that movie the other day because I was just thinking like Freaky Friday. It just slaps. It's so good. And I can't believe that they have the same cast. I'm literally going to throw up thinking about it. I'm so happy. As you mentioned, Lauren, same cast. Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan are back. You're forgetting about Chad. And this time the whole family is switching. It's wilder, weirder and more heartwarming than ever. So in the spirit of total chaos, we found a thread that is giving major Freak Your Friday energy.

56:47Loving this. And let me explain why. So this next one, Lauren. We are going to be swapping places in our takes. Oh my god. I get to be you. And you get to be me. I can't believe you have a Freaky Friday ad that's such a flex. Okay, so this one is titled, am I wrong for telling my mom she can't tell everyone I'm pregnant? I'm 17 weeks pregnant and my mom wants to tell everybody. I told her no. For some context, I don't care if people know, but my mom has always been the type to tell all of my business to everyone. When I first got pregnant, I asked her not to tell anyone yet because it was just too early.

57:30I went to church and she had told everyone already. She has always been the type of person to tell everyone about me, even the things which are obviously personal to me. She is not good at boundaries in any way, even when I repeat them to the point where I have to dismiss myself from conversations. My main goal is to get her to understand my boundaries, and one of them is that I do not like people to know everything about me, especially things I'm not comfortable sharing. There are things I do tell my mom that it's okay to share, but this is one of the things I told her I'm not comfortable with yet.

58:05Also to add, she talks to several people who I'm not big fans of. They overstep boundaries also and are not respectful to her or I. So, am I wrong? No. How would I respond, Lauren? Um. If I were Morgan, I would answer this kind of in a pragmatic way where it's just you are your own person. Your mom's your own person. You're definitely not wrong. There needs to be boundaries. And sometimes family members push those boundaries. But if this were a friend, you would probably cut the friend off and stop telling them things. And you need to kind of enforce those boundaries with your mom because it's not the way that you want to live your life.

58:58You are two separate people. And it sounds like your mom is looking at you as an extension of herself and feeling very confident and comfortable sharing your information as if it's her own to share. And that needs to change. Okay, well, I don't even know if I would have been that good. That was really good, Lauren. I totally would have said information diet. Like, I feel like I would have totally said that, too. I would have been like, you need to put your mom on a little bit of an information diet. That was really good. Okay, the bar is set high. Okay, if I were Lauren, Lauren always comes from such a empathetic, well thought out place in her takes.

59:43And you really do like to give people the benefit of the doubt. So I would say this. Did your mom cross a boundary? Yes. Is it okay? No. And you definitely need to just choose you and what's best for your mental health and your pregnancy because you are doing such a big, amazing thing right now of like growing this little human inside of you. but at the same time you know maybe your mom just got way too excited and kind of lost herself in this news especially if this is her first grandbaby so you know is it okay no going forward I think try not to share as much with her but you know maybe a little bit more grace in this one and just focus on you and the baby and just enjoying the rest of your pregnancy.

1:00:39Forget the haters. Softie. What would you say? What would you have anything to add? No, that was pretty good. I just think that there was a couple things that you were a little too nice. Oh. But I do have moments like that. You like it. You're like a devil's advocate from time to time. Sometimes I do with stories get a little bit in the weeds of let's like look at it and flip it around and see it from a different perspective. So I definitely there was things you were saying that I heard in me. And then there was and then there was moments where I'm like, I'm like, no, no, no. I'm like, turn it up a little bit.

1:01:18Go in. Turn it up a little bit. But no, that was pretty good. OK, thank you. What else do you have to add? How do you want to turn it up? I'll just I'll add some of what I said for you. Oh, my God. I love it. That honestly, that gave me so much stress trying to be in your shoes. Right. That was so stressful. Yeah. OK, guys, if that gave you secondhand stress, imagine going through it in your mom's body. Imagine a fight you've had with your mom recently. Imagine flipping places. Oh, God. No. Yeah. But hey, perfect summer event for the whole family. Disney's Freak Your Friday hits theaters August 8th.

1:01:59Get your tickets now. Rated PG. If I switch with my mom, would I also have her like mental strength? I think no. No, it's just her body. And then have to like have her problems because everyone thinks you're your mom. Yeah. Okay. I think it'd be fun to switch to my mom for a day. Just hang out with all of her friends. Your mom goes cold plunging. She just like has like these crazy adventures. Yeah. She has a good time with a bunch of good people around her. So it wouldn't be bad. I can say the same thing. My mom is just like a little go-getter, hardworking, driven, just a free spirit. A little out there.

1:02:39Yeah. We drive each other crazy. Kind of like these two in this movie. But I hope you guys enjoyed that. It was fun. I'm very, very excited about this movie coming out. Me too. We can go see it together. I'm down. We can do a little date night. What's the date? Hits theaters August 8th, baby. Oh my God. Yes. August 8th. I get so sad when I learn about movies like a year in advance. No, this one's just around the corner for us. So happy. August 8th. Okay, moving along to our next one. Okay, this next one is coming from r slash relationship advice. At the time I found it, it was only 17 minutes old and I don't want to refresh it to find out what it is now.

1:03:24In case it's gone. Oh, God. Yeah. Because it seems like it's going to be really good. I've only read the title. And based on that, I'm like, it's definitely a choice. Okay. So this one is titled, Is it unhealthy that me, 21 female, and my partner, 21 male, spar when we're angry? Spar? It's like fake fight. If you're trained in like karate or taekwondo, jujitsu, like when you fight. Speaking of Lindsay Lohan, I just watched Parent Trap the other day, and what I was picturing was them fencing. That could be sparring. That would be kind of an awesome way to handle an argument with a partner. Let's find out some more.

1:04:06Fencing. The title basically says it. But my boyfriend and I, when we get into arguments, put on gear and spar it out. Wow. We are both into martial arts, gym, and hotheads. We are the type to release stress through physical activity like the gym, sex, etc. Lately, we've been getting through some major growing pains, and verbal arguments have ensued. A few months ago, we got into a really bad argument, which resulted in both of us going to the gym and hitting the bag. I punched it until my knuckles almost bled. I was so upset. Not necessarily at him, but more at myself for how I dealt with the situation.

1:04:46After that, he asked me if it would make me feel better to try and hit him. So we began sparring. At first, it was mostly me just putting on gloves, trying to hit him, and he just practiced dodging. He's nearly a foot taller than me. I'm petite and quite light, so it's virtually impossible for me to hurt him. Over the course of the few months, we have evolved it into full-on matches in our living room until one of us calls it quits. When he hits me, he usually purposefully lets up a bit and doesn't hit me with full force. Of course, we do it in full gear, pads, gloves, etc. so no one gets hurt.

1:05:26It's fun, we flirt while we do it, it's not unrelenting rage, but more like I'm gonna wipe that stupid smirk off your face if it's the last thing I do today. By the time one of us is on the floor, we are so physically exhausted. We cannot possibly argue anymore. We don't resolve all arguments like this, maybe 10 to 15 percent. And we both ask if the other is interested before engaging. Quote, I literally feel like screaming at you. Can we go at it a bit? A couple of my friends think it's really bad that we are essentially resolving arguments by hitting each other. borderline abuse to them, is this just going to lead into physical abuse or is this just an unconventional but not bad way of dealing with anger?

1:06:21Um... Okay. This is a new one. This is a very unique problem. Just when I started to wonder if we were just going to get repeat stories. At this point, no, there's always something out there. I'm going to go with stop doing that. Option A, stop. Yeah, I get the logic behind it. Like, I don't think you guys are crazy for testing this out, specifically with the background of that this is what you guys do in general to release stress. It's how you work out. And so I get how that kind of you guys fell into trying that out. But like that's you're treading a very dangerous line and feels like a very dangerous territory.

1:07:13And I just think that there's a lot of room for a mistake to happen there when you start having a muscle memory of throwing your fists at the person you're dating because you you're upset with them. Like that is building something that I just don't think should be a go to. I agree. And we've talked so much about brain chemistry. Like I'm sure maybe a neuroscientist in our community could chime in and be like, even from a neuro standpoint, like that is just like confirming these like muscle memory, but also these like pathways, these neural pathways in the brain that like this is how you solve conflict is through fighting this high adrenaline, crazy heightened thing versus like we're going to be rational, calm and use our words.

1:07:59It's like, yeah, it doesn't seem super healthy, especially given that it's not in the gym. Yeah, it's not. I don't like that living room. Going to the gym, putting on their equipment, being in a place that is mats padded safe and witnesses and other people. Yeah. You're doing this in your home. Do you like push all the furniture and then you're like, let's fucking go. Yeah. And also like the whole like, I'm going to wipe that smirk off your face. Like that doesn't even sound healthy. That's not a good example. I didn't like that. That's a bad example. Yeah. That's really bad. Yeah. That was like used as if it was supposed to lighten it up.

1:08:35No. Like you're you want to punish your partner in this fight and make them like submit to you like, oh, tap out. We go until one of us taps out. It's likely you. He's bigger than you. Yeah. Well, exactly. I mean, I'm like if it was like two people that were the same size, like maybe, maybe a little less concerning but still pretty equally as concerning yeah but the fact that you guys are also like on such a different level of strength and that one could really hurt the other one more than the other yeah it's just not a good idea this is unhinged to me yeah and i'm curious like if anyone out there has ever like play wrestled with their partner like i feel like at least once in your life you might have tried that or like you try to tickle your partner and then they kind of like, ah, no, don't tickle me.

1:09:26Like there's that. But it also feels like these two are very trained in martial arts and they're using this skill and this like, I know like some people might laugh when I say weapon, but like if you get to a certain level in martial arts, like you are a weapon. And it's like you're using this against your partner. And also how are you solving the argument? You're not even like working through the problem. You're just kicking each other's Exactly. You're just getting out energy and you're not even solving the problem. I'm so bewildered. Yeah. So there are only at this point in time three comments on this post.

1:10:10It's two days old now. I did refresh. OK, I was it's still there. Top comment, whatever floats your boat, if it helps in your relationship, who are we to say it's wrong? Me. And me. I am. Next comment. I am intrigued by this approach. I think if you have rules around it, both have to consent using gear, having a safe word to indicate it's time to stop. I can't see a problem with it. To be honest, it sounds kind of refreshing. Whatever, guys. Last but not least comment. Wow. I never heard of someone doing this with their partner and crazy's thing that it's actually working too. My God, LOL. Okay.

1:10:51But how is it working because you guys keep fighting even like take away the actual physical aspect of it it sounds like you guys are getting into arguments a lot and so even that in itself you should take a beat and be like wait where are we going so wrong that we've literally feel like we have to get in physical altercations safely this often and then and then almost it's like are you guys going to start training yourselves if you like that are you gonna start training yourselves to get an argument so that you guys can fight it out oh my god for fun like I don't know I just don't does it stop where does it yeah what's the line and and like I mean sure with these comments it's like yeah if you guys genuinely are staying safe if it floats your boat if that's what makes you guys happy like whatever do you guys but like I think again that it's you're asking the question and my honest opinion is that you you're like treading dangerous water i think so is that a phrase treading dangerous water i feel like it is let's make it if it's not taking a note from my book literally we're still in the swapped mode yeah i i feel like this isn't a bad thing necessarily either to do as a couple but again in the gym and like hey friday nights date night let's go spar like it could turn them on it could be fun for them but like using it to solve a relationship problem seems counterintuitive yeah i need a relationship therapist like is this normal and we just don't understand the fight scene like are what happens in fight club stays in fight club like are we just not equipped is this out of our depth i mean i think so clearly but like you know i just i think that if they were to keep it in the gym i would be a little more open to the idea but like i don't your neighbors are gonna call the police on you guys okay i was wondering about that can you imagine like here we're literally sitting in the studio recording and someone above us is like walking and the floors are so creaky but can you imagine all of a sudden above us you just hear like bam bam and like the lights are rocking and it's like what are they doing up there like that's brutal to put your neighbors through yeah yeah i just and i just bad fight and like he loses himself in it and like makes a mistake accidentally tries to punch air and punches your face cops get called because it's really loud the cops see that your partner has a black eye and busted face and and you guys and she has to be like no it was an accident oh okay he's going to jail like you know what I mean yeah they are running that risk it's just like I don't know I just don't I don't like the setup of it at all but again if you guys are happy with it sure but like if you're asking my honest opinion I'm not going to recommend it no uh we don't have any comments or updates from OP this account however is five years old it is a part of the five-year club has a verified email um has unlocked quite a few different reddit achievements so it's giving real yeah unfortunately yeah because i'm like this is just exhausting and that's the other thing about this this is so it just sounds exhausting but i'm not into fighting so i'm not i don't know i'm not the target solve relationship conflicts through fighting audience i guess won't be me i feel you okay moving on to this next one this episode is brought to you by Credit Karma.

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1:15:03Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe. It's super simple to use and with no selling fees. So you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Father-in-Law He Can't Hump the Floor at My House or in My Presence? Crazy title, and I wish it wasn't true, but here we are.

1:15:44Unfortunately, I'm asking because I'm possibly in a state of being gaslit or I actually can't take a joke and I can't see it. My father-in-law, late 50s, is known for being very playful. Goofy, some would even say. Well, him, my mother-in-law, late 50s, and three sibling in-laws, 20 male, 27 male, 28 female, came to stay with my husband and I at our house. 28 female, 30 male, and I to see our new baby, seven months. We put the little one to bed and we were all in the living room area hanging out doing stretches, just casually talking, when father-in-law decided it would be a funny time to start humping the ground out of nowhere.

1:16:27And unfortunately, it was directly in front of me, not mother-in-law. Mother-in-law and I looked at each other in shock while his children all laughed and chuckled. Father-in-law made it clear that the gesture was meant for his wife despite it being directly in front of me. With eye contact. Ew. So we dropped it. The night passed, they left town, and after a few days of not being able to shake the image in my head, I decided to talk with my husband about how uncomfortable it made me along with other sexual jokes he makes about all of us being married, etc. There's been this big divide now on how I'm always ruining the fun, how it was just a joke and not a sexual gesture, and how I'll always find a problem when my husband's family is in town.

1:17:19His family thinks this. However, when I speak with my mom, sister, cousins, and anyone on my side of the world, they see his jokes and gesture as totally inappropriate. My father-in-law tried to make the point that I've done TikTok dances in his home with the other siblings-in-law and my husband and he's never felt uncomfortable because he knows they're harmless and that it's not fair for me to judge him about this versus knowing his intent, which was just to make it a joke. My point is, even though I'm not on TikTok and don't post videos, everything I've done is postable. Him stroking the ground is not.

1:18:01My husband got mad at me for not seeing it as a joke, and so did the other married siblings who were in the room that were raised by father-in-law. So am I the asshole for saying that my father-in-law humping the floor in my home and presence made me uncomfortable and drawing that boundary? I genuinely would appreciate feedback because I plan to have another conversation soon and I want to know that I'm coming into the conversation grounded in reality. I mean my first thought is no you're not the asshole that's so weird and the eye contact like no that's so messed up in the ground i like so how are we humping that's exactly one that actually that will change things for me because if he's just doing like the worm like let's say he's doing the worm and she thinks that's humping oh my god that thought like i'm envisioning only sexual humping motions but if she if he's actually doing the worm right and calling it humping right oh my god we need to know i know that's what i'm saying because at first i was like this is a no-brainer but then i was like what's her definition of humping like is he because if if the entire rest of his family is like not even phased by it then it's like you know is he really actually humping or is he trying to do a dance move because he's comparing it to her having dance moves that are like quote-unquote sexual and so my god i wonder if it was actually the worm oh my gosh okay we'll see if we have any comments from op i was fully envisioning like dog humping that's like the only thing that came to mind for me and then i'm like if he's making eye contact with her and like pretending like he's a little dog humping a pillow or like you know what i mean oh god yeah like that's what i'm like he's looking at her yeah but it's meant for his wife even though he's looking at her like yeah if my father-in-law ever i was picturing like a push-up but in position and then like banging himself yeah like a missionary pump yeah okay i also for some reason had the little image of like a chihuahua humping a leg okay and i was like if he went up and was like anywhere near her leg then like game over.

1:20:20But like the context of the hump definitely matters. Yes, I agree. Oh my God. Okay. I am like beyond curious. Yeah. So this is somewhat recently. This post is only a month old. Top comment on it. Can your husband explain the joke to you and his mother? Can father-in-law? Because I don't get it either. Just straight up gross. OP responds, this is a good point, and I'm wondering if I should actually ask to see what the response is. Next comment down, exactly. Say you don't get it. Ask him to explain why it's funny. I'm betting his answer, if he manages to come up with one, will be, it just is. Your response to that should be, quote, but why is it?

1:21:06I just don't get it. Keep asking. next comment as a person who loves comedy and hates bad comedy this is the way this is my normal go-to when people say racist or sexist jokes to me usually leaves them stammering and we've talked about that quite a bit on past episodes like if you ever get anyone kind of saying an inappropriate joke to you just be like i don't get it like what what can you explain that i want to i want to laugh with you like explain your joke the next comment i see that's like very awarded yellow box says this. And then the next time you're at dinner with a non-family or friend, bring it up.

1:21:45Oh, honey, you have to tell them about that hilarious thing your dad did and then make him explain it. That way, a third non-biased party can explain that it's inappropriate and not normal. Or he just won't do it because he absolutely knows it's not normal and is just excusing his shitty creepy ass behavior to not rock the boat. I don't think that would work because he already knows how she feels about it. They've gotten in an argument over it. And so if she were to say that in a group of people, he would be like, okay, like drop it. Like, can you knock it off? You know what I mean? Like, oh, honey, say that hilarious thing.

1:22:23You know what I mean? He'd be like, can you not with that like sarcasm? So I actually don't feel like that would like get like a genuine. Yeah. Yeah. No. And like to be quite clear, everyone, like not the asshole. extremely weird inappropriate especially given the eye contact yeah which as you're asking them to explain that joke ask them and why did you make eye contact with with me yeah and not your wife why were you humping the ground looking at at me yeah no like if it's the way that she's describing it it's it's really really inappropriate but i i the only thing that's tripping me up is the fact the whole family doesn't, that there's no one from the family that's just like, yeah, he does that all the time.

1:23:10It pisses me off too. There's a comment here. Not the asshole. Your in-laws are weird for enabling this behavior. Your husband is weird for getting upset you didn't get the joke. What the fuck? His father made you uncomfortable. I'd be sick to my stomach if I saw my father-in-law do that. And your husband's reaction is to get upset with you instead of address it with his dad. Gross. All around gross. And I would say like that is a huge issue in this. Your husband not siding with you, gaslighting you. Because at the end of the day, if it was meant to be a joke, okay, let's pretend. I don't think so.

1:23:46But you're telling your husband, I feel really uncomfortable by that. Your dad made me feel uncomfortable. Can we please have a boundary where there's no humping on the ground again in front of me, especially? I just don't want to feel that uncomfortable again. And instead of your husband being like, I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable. I'll make sure I talk to my dad. Totally hear you. It's no, you're wrong. It's a joke. It's funny. You're the problem. You always ruin. Every time my family comes over, you always ruin the vibe. You always find a reason to be pissed about something. That really irked me.

1:24:23And I want to bring that up in the post. The line here, I'm always ruining the fun, how it was just a joke and not sexual and how I'll always find a problem when my husband's family is in town. Okay, so they're saying it wasn't sexual. That's what makes me think that like, is it the worm? I need to know this. I just need to know. Okay, so let's look at comments. Because how is humping not sexual unless it was genuinely like a dance move? I'm literally, so I'm loading all the comments and I'm going to search the word worm. There are so many comments from OP. Looking like a real account, OP is a part of the one-year club on Reddit.

1:25:02So it's looking real. A post on the account from two years ago is titled, Am I the asshole for telling my husband it's time to cut ties with his childhood best friend? So, hmm, kind of seeming like issues pop up with hubby and like communication and maybe bad influences and inappropriate behavior. Okay. There is no word worm found. So OP has not responded to clarify that this is definitely not the worm. With that being said, I'm going to assume it is humping. There's so many comments from OP. I feel like maybe no one's asking the question though. Maybe I'll send a chat, but it's like, I would think a grown person knows the difference between the worm and humping not everyone well also like you know the magic mic move yeah that's kind of a version of the worm yeah it's like a humping it's like a it's like a missionary pump but a worm yeah yeah hannah burners does such a good worm hannah burners is not sexual so i'm like i almost want to send her a clip of hannah and be like was it this or was magic mic version yeah but like at this at the same time i think i don't know if she's posting that in her own reddit account that she's making him cut off a relationship with his childhood friend i'm starting to feel like you really shouldn't be in relationships where you you're like alienating somebody from all of the people that they're with because it i get i totally get what boat you're going on yeah it's it's like then they're probably not your person too and if you have to tell them to continue to cut out people from their life and and give them ultimatums you know not even just helping them support like to support them creating healthy boundaries with everyone but if you're like no he needs to cut this person off no he needs to like you know his family like all this stuff then it's just like maybe you guys aren't a match to be honest well okay so that one comment i read not the asshole your in-laws are weird for enabling this behavior your husband's also weird op does respond to that i agree that the whole family is weird husband included it definitely has made me wonder if something happened in the home that makes it seem normal yeah someone responds why did you have a baby with someone before you examined these questions.

1:27:37Yeah. OP goes, this is my favorite question because never in a million years would I thought I needed to ask, does your dad hump floors? And is this funny to you? Never. I'm just as shocked. Truthfully, what makes this even worse is that we're a very religious community. He's an elder, deacon in the church. We're all churchgoers, worship leaders, musicians, all the things. So I had absolutely no reason to think this would have ever come up until it did. Yeah. No, I mean, I get that. There's I mean, you can think, you know, someone through and through and then, you know, they can end up not even being attracted to your gender.

1:28:21You know, like, you know, I mean, like shit happens. Like it's I get that. But where we're at right now is like, it sounds like you you don't really respect your husband and his family. And it sounds like he doesn't really respect you and your values and your boundaries of, you know, and in your own home, you guys can't agree on what, you know, boundaries you want to set about your own home. Like he should have just been like, you know, it's a joke that my dad does. Um, but if you feel uncomfortable with it in our house, like I can set that boundary with him. I can't force him to change and act a certain way.

1:28:54So if we're in their home and he does it, I can't like force him not to do whatever. But like in our home, I can tell him he's going to be kicked out if he does that. I can set that boundary, you know, and I think it just shows that they're not a united front. They both think each other are weird and don't respect each other. So it's just one of those things where it's like whether the dad was doing the worm or whether the dad was humping and there's like a lot more to that that's questionable. It's just starting to sound like you guys might not be as compatible as you might have thought. So maybe look into that and not focus so much on the dad's action but what what you guys are um because that's where the real you know that's what matters that's where the real issue or non-issue exists so figure that out and then discuss the worm or sorry the humping it's probably i'm it's humping i don't know why i want it to be the worm i just like it like i just want like one glimmer of hope today yeah between all these stories yeah just let it be the worm I also don't want this to come across like oh we're invalidating her experience or we're we're doubting her story it's just like I'm just genuinely curious I believe her but like I'm just I'm curious well I mean she's asking she's like tell me the truth and then she starts it off being like be honest with me am I being like over the top with this or do you think I'm in the right So my point in saying this is that she's she's genuinely asking a question if she were to write in and be like i'm Traumatized I feel Violated i'm seeking emotional support Then my answer would be so different But like she's coming in here being like guys, can you help me out here?

1:30:42Am I the asshole? Yeah, am I the asshole for thinking this is not a joke and so no and it would be one of those things where it's like Info yeah info Are you sure this wasn't the worm? if not the worm no this is fucked up yeah that's my spark notes there you go tldr there you go yeah sorry i interrupted you no no it's fine i mean and some people might think like you said magic mike like humping worm it's like some people might also think that the view the worm on the same same category so they don't care about the differentiation you know what i mean so like it your feelings your experience it is what it is if you feel uncomfortable about it you you don't need us to tell you if it's okay or not you feel uncomfortable and that's the end of the story my drop right there lauren yeah and if you and your husband can't get on the same page with it or setting some type of boundary making sure you both feel comfortable then like you guys got to look into like what what you're what you're doing in your relationship future holds yeah and i'm not saying like jump to you know divorce but like that's that's where the problem lies like it's it's you got you guys got to figure that out well we have an update we have an update so you guys like last time we recorded we have no updates last time yeah there was no updates and so i keep getting like code switching and i just think that we're kind of wrapping it up so sometimes i ramble on a little bit more than usual and then when you say update i feel bad that I rambled so long, but let's go.

1:32:10Let's go. All caps. All aboard for the hot mess express. Firstly, thank you to all the responses. I genuinely appreciate the kind, blunt, informative, funny, and not so nice comments because truly I was looking for all perspectives. Yeah. It felt reassuring to see that the majority, not all, of you felt like it was in fact inappropriate, gross, weird, odd, sick, and especially having folks that aren't like me, religious, jokesters, etc., still see the behavior as not the best. This is a 24-hour update. So the reason I followed up with my father-in-law and mother-in-law wasn't because my father-in-law never apologized.

1:32:51He did. Reluctantly, but he did. I followed up with them because of one particular event that happened on the first phone call when my husband, yes, although mad at me, told them that I was uncomfortable. My father-in-law's immediate response to my husband and I saying that I was uncomfortable was that he, father-in-law, was uncomfortable with the fact that I was uncomfortable and that this all made him feel bad because it's not fair that I was uncomfortable. He apologized and truly it could have stopped right there because he's truly entitled to his feelings, but it didn't stop there. It got back to me that he was telling the other in-laws, siblings, how I couldn't have fun, I ruined the fun when they're around, he's uncomfortable because I'm looking at him like that, and that it hurts because I don't know him better, etc, etc, etc.

1:33:46Stuff came back up about the TikTok dances and how there was room for interpretation regarding them being inappropriate. Let me clear one thing up. Imagine dances like Millie Rock, shoot, Dougie, 2000s hip-hop. Imagine church dances that you see in African-American culture, since we're religious, like shouting, praising. That. There was no twerking, jiving, or gyrating. There were maybe six, max eight, videos, and half of them were religious-oriented. Nothing seductive, fully clothed, very appropriate. And actually, there hasn't been a video of me dancing, nor have I danced there in maybe the last two to three years.

1:34:27So let's just place that there. Okay, him feeling upset wasn't a problem. It was the talking to the in-laws and word getting back to me and me being questioned about why I can't just enjoy the moments and the jokes. It was the quote, why can't you be happy around them? I explained that our beliefs and values don't align to my brother-in-law, which is who came to me. But for me, this meant one thing clearly. I can't say, quote, I'm uncomfortable, and that simply be received. All the side talk, brother-in-law confirmed, showed me one thing. There clearly was tension and ill things being spoken, so my husband suggested I speak with my in-laws versus immediately separating myself.

1:35:10Maybe there was a misunderstanding. Let's just talk it out and see. How did that conversation go? as you would expect. Terrible. My in-laws were incredibly irate and yelled the majority of the time. The part that hurt them the most was me talking to my mother, who's also a part of the church community. Talking to her meant that I, in their words, exposed him. And now she sees father-in-law in a different light, their words. One part of the conversation sounded like this. father-in-law how would you feel if i told your folks you prostitute me i would feel like that's a lie oh god father-in-law exactly that's how i feel me except i didn't lie about anything i just told my mom the facts and how it made me feel mother-in-law well op doesn't feel like she lied so she doesn't understand.

1:36:08Me, where was the lie? I only told them the facts. Father-in-law, but OP, you made me look bad. Mother-in-law, yeah OP, you've now shown him in a different light and that doesn't show his character. He has a good heart. A lot of our conversation sounded like that. I'm also realizing a lot of the conversation was rooted in bullying. Some comments sounded like, we can joke with all our married friends and married children about sexual conversation, but we see we can't do that with you. We can't make any jokes around you, so I guess we probably need to be careful with how we talk. Okay, I thought that he said that it wasn't sexual, so now he's saying we get to make sexual jokes around our other friends?

1:36:50Uh-huh. So now it sounds like it was. The tune is switching. Yeah. It's a hump. We just can't make any jokes around you, so I guess we probably need to be careful with how we talk. I don't know how I'll act around you now, mother-in-law. I told them I wasn't safe to talk to mother-in-law because of what I'm seeing in real time with the conversation we were having. Reddit readers, when I say it was a bunch of yelling and insulting, saying, don't be dumb, what you did is bad, etc., I'm not kidding. I told them, quote, in the future, I hope the in-laws, their children's spouses, can come to them when something makes them uncomfortable and it be received.

1:37:26They said, quote, aren't you being received now? And I said, quote, no, I'm being met with screaming, insults, threats of being cut off, and that this is emotionally unsafe. I said that even with expressing myself, father-in-law is only getting angrier. He agreed. He explained that he's the adult and that I should listen and that's my problem. I shouldn't have talked to anyone. and made him look bad. He said that he doesn't want to talk to me and will move differently with me. He no longer wants to come over to our house. Thank the heavens. He yelled these things and when I asked him to stop yelling, he said, no, I'm mad.

1:38:05When I asked if he could stop insulting, he said, no, maybe we don't need to talk. I said, you're right. We don't if we can't respect each other. He said, OP, you need to respect me. I said, grab control. He said, you grab control. We ended the call with him repeating, leave me alone and crying very hard while yelling. I'm not kidding. Now, let me say this. I've never raised my voice, insulted or over-talked anyone because I've seen this with my other sister-in-law married into the family like me. It's easy to feel provoked and get into a screaming match. But when you're cool as a cucumber emotionally, that sends them over the edge.

1:38:45And that's what happened. And fortunately, I documented the conversation for proof. Oh, wow. There is a lot more. A lot of it is just explanation to other things. If you want to read it, it will be linked in the description. But we are going to get into the last update we have because there's another one after this. This last update is coming almost a month after the original post. New update. Yikes, I know. Well, I'm sort of in a pickle about this one because my husband and I have been wrestling with this issue for a little over a month now. After debates regarding everything that happened with his dad in our home, he spoke with his folks.

1:39:29He said he cleared up what happened. Not really, but he talked to them and expressed that they can't joke around everyone, especially if you don't know a person's history or if they'll see it as a joke. Fair. After the insults, yelling, alienation, and gossiping, he talked to them and things settled on their end. Supposedly. But no one followed up with me. No apologies. No remorse. No take backs. Nothing. Justin, I've talked with them. They're old and set in their ways. This issue is over. Here's where the problem lies. This issue has truly impacted my marriage. I've been so angry with my husband for not having my back, for not standing up for me, for letting them talk to me however they did.

1:40:15I've questioned his ability to speak up in the face of wrong. I've called him a coward. I've questioned whether being married into this family is even worth it. But what cooked the goose was me saying his dad had predatorial behaviors. I gave him examples like when he sees young college-age girls on TVs and calls them his girlfriend, or openly, in front of his wife, daughters, daughter-in-law, adult children, comments on other women on TV, or when he makes sexual jokes, gestures, etc. How his circles include men who have been exposed for sexual crimes. Oh. Oh, God. You should have started there.

1:40:58Why didn't you just literally start there? I've noticed the dad has a soft spot for men with these kind of crimes under their belt, and I don't know. Oh my god. An alarm just goes off for me. Well, yeah. Maybe I've been enraged and spoken anger. Maybe I spoke what I've been thinking for years. Nonetheless, my husband is beyond hurt. Silent treatment, avoiding me, only will argue snappy mad. So was I the asshole or am I missing something? Not the asshole. Not missing anything. Divorce. yeah this is not worth being married into you have a child now that you need to oh god i forgot look out for and maybe there is some shit that went down maybe there is some shit that this goes real real deep yeah i that like added context it's like why like girl do that in the original no i know i wish she would have started with that because like that we wouldn't have even questioned the worm exactly that's you can only go with what you got yeah i think this is divorce worthy at this point this is just not worth it no update about just saying okay no update about the update what was the last comments were locked on that update we don't really have any comments after that from op nothing on the account but again there were a lot of comments on the other ones and a lot of clarifying questions and just a lot to go through i mean you could scroll for at least 73 seconds for how many comments there are it's just it's just going where'd you come up with that number i don't know seemed appropriate 73 seconds yeah that's a doozy though that is a doozy give him the d give him the d divorce but that's all i got for this theme okay okay okay okay okay i don't know how i feel ah what what's wrong i don't know it was just like that was such a crazy way to end it.

1:43:28I don't like it. Well, I think it's because usually when we end, we kind of are like, okay, we got to wrap it up. We keep talking. But this one was kind of like, the last update kind of silenced us a little bit. We were just like, oh shit. You know, should we get into that short one you sent me? Which one? Cancer one. Oh yeah, yeah. Okay, let's end it on that. Okay. It just doesn't feel right otherwise. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Cash App. I myself have fallen for a scam, thought I was getting a really good deal on tickets, and bam, I sent the money and I didn't get my tickets. There's so many common scams these days and finding all the red flags can be hard.

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1:45:19It's about making the most of any moment. Visit your local dealer or Chrysler.com to learn more and schedule a test drive today. Chrysler is a registered trademark of SCAUS LLC. Okay, Lauren, you found it. You can read it. It's really short. This one is coming from A-I-T-A-H and it is nine hours old. You found a fresh one. Yeah. am I the asshole for hating the other woman my husband fell in love with while she had cancer my husband 35 male soon to be ex-husband is a doctor I 32 female married him six years ago there is a woman 41 female who was a patient at a hospital he used to work what no uh no she wasn't a patient while he worked there and he was never her doctor When he met her she was suffering from cancer.

1:46:16She's in remission now They fell in love while she was sick and he's leaving me for her I feel like i'm not allowed to hate her. Most of my own family isn't pissed at him My sister 28 female is the worst as she talks about the situation like such a romantic event I'm happy. This woman is healthy now I want her to live a long happy life. I don't wish ill will on her, but I hate her understandable she stole your husband i partially love and partially hate my husband i feel guilty for hating her am i the asshole okay i like need the context though of how they did meet so i skimmed this and i when i saw that he was the doctor i just immediately assumed that she was his patient that's what i assumed right first line but also like how did you meet then yeah weren't her doctor but like met when she was sick so how did you meet yeah what i'm like comments from op well i'm almost wondering i'm like is she covering for him because how illegal it is to date your own patients and she still partially loves him as she said i wonder if she's covering because how else did they meet with her being sick right it's just a confusing way to i know it feels fishy because i was fishy because like specifically when the sister says it's like such a romantic event why is it romantic right how did they meet was he the doctor and she was sick thought she was gonna die he was got really close with her got to know her and then they fell in love i'm so perplexed okay top comment and then like are there any comments from OP?

1:48:02Like, is there any clarifying info on here? Because I'm sure everyone is in the same boat as us, just like, like what's confused and like, hey, we need a little bit more info. Yeah. And the top comment is just curious if she was not a patient when he worked there, then how did they even meet? Yes. Not the asshole though. And then someone responded, they definitely met at the hospital. You can't trust the words of a cheater. He would say anything to save his job and prove what he did was ethical exactly like he's a doctor he's not gonna throw away oh i don't know eight twelve years of school to be honest to be honest like yeah of course you're gonna lie like yeah we didn't meet i wasn't working there yet like how else did you meet yeah and and somebody goes first thought he's totally her doctor and trying to protect his career someone goes cancer patients are often going through their treatment in a shared room with multiple people that have different doctors.

1:49:00While you might be right, it's very easy to meet another doctor in those rooms during her chemotherapy. My grandmother made two friends that weren't her doctors, but doctors of other people in the room that stopped for a chat after setting up their patient. Yeah. Someone else goes same thing with my mother. Which makes sense, but it still feels a little, well, it's definitely slimy because he had a wife and he cheated, but it still feels kind of like a weird like professional thing where it's like that's still a patient at your hospital and then he tried to lie and he was like I wasn't working there yet I wasn't working at that hospital yet but it's like then how did you meet yeah are you going to cancer support groups volunteering your time how did you meet oh no 100 it's people some of the comments I didn't even know that they could there's like a lot of comments this is actually even more of a top comment i don't know why it's farther down has even more upvotes reddit's um i feel like the way comments are organized has like changed lately but yeah i know you can change how you organize your comments but it just something's up but yeah someone goes fuck that bitch you are entitled to have feelings and tell your sister to shut the fuck up that has 5.2 000 upvotes yes and that's how i feel like it's crazy that the family is not supporting you when you at the end of the day were wronged.

1:50:22You were cheated on. You had your husband lose the sanctity of your marriage and go against the vows that he made to you. And I don't know how cheating, like meeting someone because you cheated could be romantic. I know she went through something really difficult and beating cancer is amazing. That is such a terrible thing to go through. But at the end of the day, Like it's amazing on her end for surviving, but like that's not necessarily romantic because he still cheated. Yeah, what I'm thinking probably the romanticized version that the sisters may be referring to is that the woman who had cancer probably was like, I know what it's like to be close to death.

1:51:09And I've never felt this way. And I don't want to waste one more second living my life for anyone else and holding back from like my true feelings. And what, you know, it was probably something like that if I had to guess. There's that empathy and pragmatic devil's advocate, you know But I don't know if OP responds to anything And this was also only nine hours ago It's fresh Do you want to take a look and see if you see anything? Yeah, let me see if I see anything on the account

1:51:39Account has been suspended No! So, take that as you will have not seen any comments quick scroll here comments really are um popping off oh yeah they're pissed they go crazy yeah fuck that bitch i know i thought that they weren't allowed to say that on reddit because anytime i feel like the comments are always so respectful and well thought out this this post is not no there's a lot of very angry yeah and I do agree like I don't think you need to feel bad for hating her like at the end of the day she kind of like it obviously falls on the husband too but they both together shit in your cheerios yeah no I think you don't have to like give her more respect than you would someone who's not going through cancer yeah I mean she a person uprooted your whole life and your future plans you have every right to have your feelings about that for sure and not feel guilty about it no well that's all I got unless uh unless you want to get into that vagina cheese no no you can save that for someone else who should i give it to mikaela probably would have a good response i don't know if she'd be able to be and she talked about putting a fish oh that's true yeah she did talk about a fish vagina spell she might be able to handle it then okay okay now i gotta find a theme for it thank you guys so much for being here another episode another month another year we're like almost done with 2025 it feels it's crazy how fast this year's going calm down we're halfway there i'm like 74 days away from my wedding yeah that's crazy that will make time fly for sure by the time this episode comes out i'll be even like way closer because this is like a couple weeks out now i'm just like oh my God, it's going to be here before I know it.

1:53:57But my tent is on the boat. I can track the boat from China. I just refresh the boat. I just track it to make sure my tent's coming. I didn't know that you were still going through with that. How'd you find out? How'd you make that happen? Went on Alibaba.com, found my guy, George, in China, ordered the tent. Wow. It's been very... Was it as expensive as it? No. No. I got a steal compared to the rental prices. Okay. Tent rental? I think I'm going to open a tent rental business now. I'm not kidding like I got the tent now I'm excited to see it I think it's gonna be good wow and I have my little mini mule in my backyard now that I'm I'm maybe training to be my beer donkey wait do you still want to have you said before that you wanted to have like a camel no single like bachelor yes guys there yes we are getting to the wire if we have hot single guys in Minnesota please submit your application to Lauren that is Lauren Rolfe um she will she's maid of honor.

1:54:54We'll set up a Google form and she can go through it. Perfect. Absolutely. I want, I want the, I want the experience for the guests. I think that I think, I think Salt Hank was serious about wanting to come and he's single. Oh, is that why he wanted to come? Yeah. Oh, he can come. That's why I, that's why I was like, you should actually, he was like, I actually would. And I was like, he's invited. Perfect. Cause he had just told me that like, he's, how do you know? do you tell him i'm like he doesn't listen he was he was asking for updates on you know on everyone and yeah he can come i like that yeah yeah i want we have so many amazing beautiful smart just insane women in attendance and not as many single nice smart guys and so i need to i need to level it out like i was in duluth a couple weekends ago for um the holidays and just like recovering from surgery and I literally ran into like people from high school and I was like are you gonna be in town September 27th do you want to come to the after party I have so many hot girls coming I'm like recruiting everyone I told like all the all the guys that like I invited but I gave them a plus one I'm like did you want to bring a plus one don't bring a plus one there's so many girls I'm like I'm just want it to be so fun for everyone and like who knows if you met and you fell in love at my wedding that'd be so cool that would be cool and I am very excited I think it's gonna be really fun it's gonna be really cool yeah really cool I've just had so much fun planning good I I've had like small pockets like maybe 30 minutes of stress here and there but like otherwise it has truly been such a fun experience maybe you should be a wedding planner I literally want to like when I told you like I would put the podcast on hold to plan your wedding I wouldn't even need to put it on hold like i'm just i i can do it all yeah i would love to plan a friend's wedding if you don't let me be your wedding planner i'm actually gonna be pissed well the thing is is that like i likely will do a really like low-key beach resort all-inclusive wedding i love this no like that's what you said yeah but not like all-inclusive beach resort like i'm thinking like honestly something really small and like really affordable yeah we can find a villa have the whole house like i'm trying to spend 5k total you know we we can see what we can do we could probably swing something cool you just won't have a lot of flowers because those are costly or we'll go to the local garden greenery place there and find some plants yeah plants are more affordable if you want something that you can then actually have after the wedding too i'm doing a lot of plants we'll see i just from costco i just yeah i guess i just have a hard time with the idea of like spending a ton of money on like a temporary oh yeah you know so it's like that it's a it's a commitment yeah sure it's a choice yeah it's definitely a choice but we'll see you never know how i'll feel whenever the time comes so you could win the lottery and be like yeah i won 150 million in the california state lottery what's 1 million on a wedding no that would raise my price to 10k on the wedding a modest humble girl thank you guys so much for being here we've got lauren on two patreon episodes this month so head on over if you want more low in we also did a trio episode me lauren and michaela that was really fun it was super good yeah michaela talked about it today and she was like it was super like girl slumber party sleepover vibes and we had some crazy stories for it yeah i love that it was a good time but okay that's all i got until next time until next time bye guys

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