230: Beyond Embarrassing..

31:21Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. We've got a couple wedding ones because we are in the thick of wedding planning right now. Yes. Doing our bachelorette trip together this week. We literally leave tomorrow and we're like panic recording a bunch. Swimming upstream. What does that mean? We're just swimming upstream. Because it's hard right now? Uh-huh. Yeah, we got a lot going on. I'm sitting here panicking about my concrete slab getting poured and my barn getting brought in from the Amish in time. It's a hot mess over here. Oh, I'm filled with stress. It's about to burst out.

32:04I know, but at least things, no matter how bad they go, will maybe be better than this. Okay. Okay. That's helpful. Yeah, I like that. Okay, this next one is coming from AITH, 17 days old, titled, Wife Says I Need to Get Over It, But I Can't Stop Obsessing Over a Prank That Ruined My Wedding Experience and Left Me Furious. During the reception, we were all doing the usual wedding games. Eventually, I was told it was time to do the garter removal. As everyone gathered around us in the middle of the dance floor, my wife was sitting in a chair and my friends brought out a blindfold and told me I would be doing the garter removal blindfolded.

32:47I should have been suspicious at their grins, but I'd had some drinks, wasn't suspecting anything. I put it on and tried to be a good sport about it, as everyone seemed like they were having a great time, myself included. As soon as I was blindfolded, however, my wife slipped out of the chair and was replaced by one of my groomsmen. He's a friend of the family I've grown up with, but I would not say we're close. Now, I literally cannot stand him, although he's not a bad guy other than my anger at this prank. Sitting in the chair in place of my wife, my groomsmen was in shorts with a garter around his thigh.

33:24My wife stood behind him and was talking to me as they walked me over to keep me fooled into thinking it was her. On their instructions, I got down on my knees and began to reach for what I thought were my wife's legs. Once I found the leg, I found the garter and began pulling it down. But at that moment, I heard my wife saying, with your mouth, with your mouth. So I leaned forward and grasped the garter belt in my mouth to the shrieks and applause of the crowd. With the garter in my teeth, I pulled it down his leg and then my wife actually came around to help me get it over his shoe because it got stuck.

34:02Once I had the garter, they told me to stand up and take off my blindfold. When I did, I was smiling because I thought I'd been a good sport and everyone was laughing so hard. It seemed like everyone was having a great time. But when I took off the blindfold, everyone burst into even louder laughter. For a moment, the entire energy of everyone at the wedding was focused on nothing besides laughing at me, at me being the sole butt of the joke. It felt awful. I was furious. I wanted to say and do a million different things, but I didn't. For some reason, I just felt that pretending it wasn't a big deal was the best offense.

34:43That showing anger would be confirming how badly I'd just been humiliated for their delight, and that would have made my humiliation all the worse. So I sucked it up. I slept walked through the rest of the wedding while doing my best to keep a smile on my face. My wife could tell I was stunned, but she kept on going too. She definitely had no idea how badly I was taking it. Everyone was standing around us, and we couldn't talk openly about how I felt, at least not without ruining everything, and I didn't know whether I wanted to go there after all the effort and money put into the wedding. And I kept sucking it up the next day at the brunch and for most of the next week through most of our honeymoon.

35:23At some point, I told myself that my wife didn't mean to hurt me and there was no reason to ruin her wedding memories by telling her that my experience had been ruined. But then, at the end of our honeymoon, I had had a few drinks and I just couldn't help it. And once I started talking to her about it, I just went off. I told her it was trashy, that it hurt if not destroyed my trust and sense of intimacy towards her. I was harsh and got carried away. After at first apologizing a bit, she got upset and left me sitting out there. I think I just kept going because I felt hurt and wanted to maybe make her feel bad as well, to be honest.

36:02Since then, it's been a difficult subject. I've told her I don't want to hear about the wedding. I don't want to write thank you notes, look at pictures. If it was tomorrow, I wouldn't make plans to celebrate our anniversary. My wife and I have a lot of strengths in our relationship, but I just can't stop thinking about this and the feeling when I took off that blindfold. I literally cannot stop my mind from replaying it over and over, and I get mad again every time. And perhaps the worst part of it is that it's all recorded. We had a professional photographer shooting a video, and in the video I see at least four other people recording it on their phones.

36:40Watching the video, I find myself looking at the laughing faces of family and friends in the video. And there's a part of me that I'd never act on that wants nothing more than to punch them all in their faces. The fact I know that these videos are out there makes it feel like it's constantly happening to me. My wife says that she's sorry, that she thought I would take it better and laugh it off, and that I need to move on. I think maybe I am the asshole. No good is coming from obsessing over this, but I literally cannot let it go. I find myself coming up with reasons to be angry. I tell myself sometimes it was assault because I was tricked into putting my mouth on another man's leg without my consent.

37:21But I think that's just rationalizing my anger. I don't know. Am I overreacting? Am I the asshole for refusing to let it go? This one's complex because I don't think you're the asshole for having the feelings you have. because that's, you know, it's hard to know with the range, the vast majority of how people would react to this. I know people that would be like, oh, no way. And then turn to the video professional video care and be like, oh, shoot. Like people that love a good prank. Some people would genuinely be into this. Like if this was my dad, my dad would genuinely be into this and find it hilarious.

38:03Yeah, and wouldn't feel embarrassment, wouldn't be angry. Yeah. But I think it gets down to the core, especially with a wedding. Know your partner. Do you really know your partner? Because I know with 100 % certainty, the last time or place I would ever do a prank is at the wedding. Yeah. And like, I wouldn't do pranks in general just because I know you don't like pranks. so I think it's a know your partner I mean are do you guys prank each other all the time and that's your relationship are you like those couples on TikTok that prank each other constantly and seem to both be thriving with that like it just is part of their dynamic if you're not a pranking couple I find it pretty nuts that there'd be a prank surrounding something so and serious is the wrong word, but I don't know.

39:02Insimate. Yeah. And like just. Your wedding is such a special day that like, if you're not a pranking couple, this is a big risk to take. You know, I wouldn't love for this to happen. You know, some prank at a wedding, this specific situation, I think I would be more on the side that he's on, but I, I, I certainly wouldn't hold it in until the end of the honeymoon because I think, you know, though I'd probably get through the rest of the wedding and not want to have anyone else but me feel bad about something for the rest of that night, I would certainly address it the next day. I would have a clear mind.

39:44I would be on the same page. I would do everything I could to go and have the honeymoon that we both wanted, not suffer through it mad and angry the whole time and then towards the end let it out just because it's now from her position she'll look back on that trip and be like you know I guess I thought I was having we were having good time but clearly he had this in his mind the whole time so I think kudos for getting through the rest of the wedding because I it's you're surrounded by people you're gonna make you're gonna make it more of a scene you're gonna make it more embarrassing later, even though you didn't cause the first thing.

40:22I've seen a lot of different pranks on TikTok from weddings. Ones that I would say are probably less harmful, but still I was even like, I don't know, you're taking such a serious moment and kind of mocking it and ruining it for the real moment. Like a lot of them, they'll have the, um, like a, a groomsman dress up in like a fake, like a wedding dress. I saw that one. And then they'll tap on the shoulder and they'll turn around and he turns around with such hope and seriousness and emotion and instantly is just kind of like, ah, funny. But like, for me, it's such a, you've built this day up. You've put so much behind it financially, emotionally, and just everything that builds up to this day.

41:07And I just think any sort of prank just feels you have to know the person and you have to know that they would be into it. Otherwise, steer clear because what's the point? Yeah, everyone had a laugh, but now you have one of the people that the whole day was about who's going to look back on that and that's all they're going to see. Yeah, I think that's kind of the bottom line here. It's like, don't embarrass the person that the party is about. And I think that's what's so confusing to me about pranks on really important days. Why would you take a chance on a wedding, at a baby shower, at a gender reveal, at the birth of a baby, a birthday, anniversary?

41:49Why would you take a chance on what's supposed to be a big, beautiful, massive, fun celebration, a special moment in time and ruin it potentially? Why would you risk that? And I don't understand why you would want to embarrass your person. I did see that video of like the groomsmen in like a dress and the groom turned around. And it was like, for me, I kind of felt the same way. I was like, damn, he was like probably so excited, but. But you could see the different personalities of the different people it happened to. Some would be like, oh, and then they'd tackle him and others would be kind of like, haha.

42:25But. But that's like a little bit different of a prank too, because it's like, it's not embarrassing him. It's not in front of everyone. It's not in front of everyone. Like, it's also your buddy in a dress like it's not embarrassing the groom yeah who the day is about and if the bride is into that and that's how she wants to prank him like for a first look kind of prank like if that's your relationship that's your relationship me personally i wouldn't want to do that because i feel like it would then take away from the gravity of our moment it would yeah so but that's just me like if you if you guys are funny haha people and you banter and prank each other like that could be really fun and meaningful to you I'm not gonna poop in your cheerios but like teach their own but like this was like a step so much further and he's so entitled to his feelings I think their feelings that he might need to unpack in therapy because like I get being embarrassed and upset but like it seems like it's really like it's PTSD now it's genuinely eating at him as a person so much.

43:29So he's rewatching the video multiple times. Like don't give that experience that much power over you to where you're now traumatized over it. And the point that you're like, you almost sound like you regret your whole wedding. Like if we had an anniversary tomorrow, I wouldn't celebrate it. Which I think, which I think, you know, there's certain people who when they have emotional conversations stemming from anger they'll like they said I think yeah you even said it a little bit too far and say things they don't necessarily mean to try and drive the knife in and see a reaction from someone that you you feel like well I was hurt this bad so you need to feel hurt too when in all reality I think it's just a reconnecting it's getting a true apology and it's kind of setting the baseline of we are not going to do pranks for serious things because that doesn't work for us and it you know it made me feel this way but I don't think it's it's worth erasing this relationship and marriage over.

44:40You know, it's a one-off. It's not a pattern of her hurting your trust in this way. But yeah, I can sit there and think about the replays going through your mind, having her be the one that's essentially coaching you and guiding you through it because she's talking the whole time. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Well, and like imagine flipping the genders. imagine the groom doing this prank on the bride and having the bride run her mouth up one of his groomsmen's legs if you flip the genders you can really feel how violating it is and someone comments like imagine if the groom was a victim like the PTSD and anxiety would be overwhelming yeah the top comment on this one my husband played a prank when he took off my garter he pulled a baby doll out of my dress.

45:36I'm a labor and delivery nurse, so it was genuinely funny. It didn't embarrass me, and I actually thought it was cute to incorporate him participating in my job. Everyone laughed, but not at me. I'm pretty sure he was not super comfy about being that intimate in front of everyone, so they gave him the diversion he needed. And I mean, it is kind of weird when you think about it. Any pranks shouldn't be used as an excuse to hurt people and then be mad about it. Also, was it her idea or the groomsman? Just wondering if she trusted your friend and what you would find funny. Which is a great question.

46:09Great question. A lot of comments just be like, no, you're not overreacting. I'm really curious if they took it as far as to have that guy shave his legs. I'm very curious. Or like, you know. I feel like they went to commitment. I feel like you kind of know your person's leg. whether she shaves or doesn't. You know what I mean? But I feel like you would, if she does shave her legs, then I feel like, did he go that far? Because even on the first touch, it'd be like, what's happening here? You know, instead of getting all the way to that point. Maybe, yeah, I could see him shaving or maybe he's just not a hairy dude.

46:45There's a comment here. To put it bluntly, the reason you can't get over it is because you felt disrespected at an event that's supposed to honor you and your wife and your union and your wife was behind it. That's a really bad time to pull a prank and shame on whoever thought it up and thought that was a good idea. Weddings are not there to humiliate the bride and or the groom. You need to express to your wife that you feel disrespected in your relationship. You want to feel love and respect from her, just like she wants to feel those from you. And you didn't feel either of those when she made you feel like a joke.

47:15There's a comment here that has a couple awards on it. It's really, really long, so I'm not going to read like the full thing, but it just says, this is something I've been thinking about a lot for the last year or so, autonomy and agency are way more vital to the human experience than a lot of people realize. Each one of us needs to feel like we matter, that we have a right to exist and thrive for ourselves, not just be background players in the lives of others. It's a very poor judgment by everyone involved. I don't think their intention was to traumatize OP like this, but I also don't believe OP's wife is giving this the attention that it deserves.

47:50Yeah. In the history of relationships, I doubt that Just Get Over It has ever had the magical powers that its wielders thinks it does. Instead, it acts like a spotlight on the person who says it, revealing that they don't grasp the weight of what they did, either because they are dense, lack empathy, or both. OP is going to continue to feel this way until his inner child feels heard, because only then can he feel the safety and reassurance needed to heal. And that can only come from OP's wife's sincere contrition. If she truly loves him, she'll find it. Yeah, imagine someone telling you, just get over it, and you're like, oh yeah true I'm over it you're right yeah makes sense does not work like that so we do have an edit an edit wow thank you all for the responses I'm digesting and I have to say I'm genuinely feeling better just sharing this even if some of you don't think I'm in the right I'm definitely not as angry as I was when I wrote this so there's that although it does come and go in response to some of the questions.

48:52One, yes, I created this account to share this. I'm not AI or a bot. I genuinely don't know what karma farming is, but anyone who wants my karma can have it. Two, it was the wedding planner who originally proposed the idea. The one who knows you the least. Literally. She had done it at other weddings, apparently, and she coached my wife and friends on how to do it, to drape her dress over his lap and to stand behind him talking to me. He was wearing the same groomsman's shirt and coat, but had changed into shorts, a stocking, and flip-flops. So that's why he didn't feel any leg hair. He had like a full stocking on.

49:33Three, my groomsman is now my brother-in-law because he's married to my wife's older sister. What I meant to say is that he's a good guy. We grew up together and I like him, but I didn't consider him a best friend at the time. and now I'm no longer even thinking of him as a friend, in large part because I'm mad at him. I don't think there was a reason they picked him other than he's thin like my wife. Four, I believe my wife when she says she thought it would be funny and that I wouldn't mind. I just don't think she thought of it from my perspective when it came to concluding this was a funny thing to do.

50:05Sometimes I tell myself, this is what I'm mad about. It keeps changing, really. Five, a lot of people asked what I expect my wife to do about it now besides apologize. I don't have a good answer to that and need to think about what that means. Six, my favorite comment thus far is the guy who told me to wash the sand out of my vagina. Ha, fair play. You're going to have people look at this from all different angles, but, you know, and maybe they're the type of people who would be like, oh yeah, that would be funny. I'd stand up and own it, like get over it, whatever. But it's also not their day.

50:44It's your day. It's what you and your partner want both. And I just, it's interesting that she was really thought this was a good idea because I just so clearly know what both of us would want without even asking. Even if you're getting this idea from a wedding planner, don't you think you'd like evaluated against what you know of your partner and I get like she's saying like I thought you'd find it funny I'm like I get it's embarrassing but like maybe there's like something else here he's not sharing either way I think he's entitled to his feelings I think this is a really cruel thing to do as you guys know I don't like pranks but I'm I am curious like what more context is behind this one and like why it's hitting so hard.

51:32Yeah. Because I, I feel like the wedding planner, if she's done it on other couples and it's been funny, but like, I don't know, it's quite wild. She also may not know because no one's, you know, I would say a lot of people would not show that. Or tell her. Yeah. And so that's what, well, some of the comments say that they're like, you need to tell her that this was really a negative experience for you. Like she can't keep bringing this up and interjecting this into couples because it would feel like there maybe was some weight behind it. If you have this wedding planner who does a bunch of weddings, you don't.

52:05It's your only wedding, your first wedding. I guess. Yeah. Like maybe you're going to be like, oh my God. Yeah. People love it. That's hilarious. Let's do it. So you could get lost in that. It's really tough, but that's all we kind of have from OP. I don't see any other updates. OP does respond to some people. I kind of find it funny. You're the asshole and whiny. Do your wife a favor and pick up your Prius and leave. And OP responds, I actually do drive a Prius, which just kind of ironic in that. OP does have another comment here. Like people are asking like, what do you want your wife to do besides apologize?

52:46And that is a good question because I was like, you're obviously hurt. She's apologized. So how do you move past it? And I think OP does need individual therapy. Like, I think there's a lot of big, big feelings he needs to unpack here. This was traumatic for him. It was really, you know, sad, embarrassing, all the above. But OP goes, I don't know. I think this is why I get so mad about it. I don't know what can be done to take away the feeling of taking off the blindfold, seeing him instead of her, everyone breaking out laughing at me, looking up to see her laughing at me. realizing I was the butt of the joke and everyone had been laughing at me instead of along with me the whole time but you're right what do I want now I don't know maybe there's nothing I want other than to forget about it and when I think about it part of me wants to be a good sport and a part of me gets so mad and I can go either way I hate it OP does say like having this conversation on reddit is making them feel better like talking this out is is making them feel better yeah but this is a really tough one I'm I'm really curious for an update on this one I hope they can make amends and like he can shift his mind a little bit on this and not be so impacted because like you don't want this to determine your whole future like this one little blip in time that like doesn't feel like it came from a cruel place yeah and I know intention is like half the battle with these, but I'd hate to see them get divorced over this when everything else seemed to be so great.

54:19Yeah. I mean, they had literally just given their vows and, you know, and you kind of, I guess as a, when you become married, you look at a lot of things that come up as, as ways to grow and get closer. I think you do in a serious relationship at a certain point too, where, you know, it's not something happens that's obviously not to the lengths of cheating or something. And it's not your mind goes to, oh, break up with the wrong person. It's more, okay, this is a big disconnect. How can we use this to make us stronger? And how can we grow from this? And that's why I see here, it's like that memory will probably always be there.

55:02But A, for him, how can we learn to live with it? And B, how can he feel that she's heard him, has apologized, like has been mentioned a bunch of times. And then I think the best thing you can do is just go forward and not do any pranks. Because it's going to be a sore spot for a long time. Yeah, pranks are kind of off the table with this one, for sure. So just, I think, just stay true to what's gotten you to this point. You obviously had a reason to get married. Yeah. And just keep looking forward because time will help too. Absolutely. But okay, moving along. Let's all keep our eyes peeled for an update on this one.

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56:58Okay, so this next one. Buckle up. I feel like everyone kind of knows about this girl because of the viral headlines that have been going around. But there's this sex content creator named, I think it's Bonnie Blue. And she slept with a thousand guys in a day. and this has to do with that which like this just that's wow i think even doctors were coming out being like you can't do that it's not safe for your body it's just wow it is titled am i the asshole for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiance was in a documentary what documentary Okay, it's currently 4am and I feel so guilty right now, I can't sleep.

57:51So myself and a few girlfriends decided to watch a documentary that's been trending. Not gonna lie, I was expecting a documentary showing a human side of a certain person, but yeah, as anyone who has watched the documentary knows what it was. On to the issue. My friend's fiance was one of the 1 ,000 and I wasn't the first person to notice. Two other friends were first to notice. I didn't believe it at first, but with a second watch, it was definitely him. Even though his face was covered, the body shape and especially the tattoos were undeniable. We debated until the early hours of the morning if we should tell her or wait because she's eight months pregnant.

58:36But in my opinion, if someone cheats like that, it's not their first time. And I would rather lose her friendship for telling her straight away than her finding out I knew and hid it. Because let's be real, when you tell someone news like that, there's a huge chance they'll hate you and not the cheater. So this Sunday morning, I asked my friend to meet up to talk. I showed her the evidence and the minute she looked at the picture, she knew it was him and broke down. I expected her to be angry at me, but she thanked me for being honest. As multiple people have hinted that she should watch the documentary instead of being up front like I was.

59:15I ended up driving her to her mom's house. I'm guessing she told her fiance. I told her because he's been blowing up my phone, calling me an evil little homewrecker who ruined not only his life and calling me out on social media for trying to ruin his relationship and wanting his unborn daughter to grow up without a dad. Yeah, because she did that. My friends are angry with me for telling her straight away and not waiting until she had the baby in case the stress would cause issues to her health. I don't give two shits if I'm being honest about her fiancé, but I feel so bad about putting my friend in this situation while heavily pregnant.

59:50And I'm worried if something does happen to her, it will be my fault. Like maybe she would have watched it herself and found out on her own. Am I the asshole for telling my pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary? One, I think she should know that her fiancé cheated on her immediately with, I don't know what order he was in. I don't know how safe they were what if condoms broke and they didn't show it was he number one or was he number 999 out of a thousand people before him like she should know because if they're still being intimate or had been intimate after what if she has an STD that's probably more dangerous to a baby than stress maybe I don't know oh my god just what what delusional what an embarrassment what what the helly what the helly oh my god i just it's actually unbelievable yeah obviously that he went but that he was in the documentary i literally this is so crazy and i don't know if this was a fucking skit but i saw a couple on tiktok fighting because her boyfriend got a ticket to bonnie blue and i because i think she gave out tickets or something.

1:01:10I don't know how she did it. Okay. But like her boyfriend got a ticket to Bonnie Blue or got invited to be a part of this 1000 sex in a day experience. I wonder what kind of everyone in the comments were like, you mean ex-boyfriend? Like girl, what? Yeah. And he was like, this is a once in a lifetime experience. What? I mean, I, I, are guys like seeing this as not cheating because it's set up to be such an event and a thing that, oh, it's not cheating. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not sneaking off with some woman that I'm going to see all the time. It's just this one time. Like, how is this being rationalized?

1:01:51I don't know. But the fiance also, you know, I guess we're not super shocked that he's lashing out at the friend saying you ruined because he's now sitting there with his whole life in pieces. He knows he did it to himself. He knows. You have to know. No, I think he's a self-centered piece of shit. 100%. For exposing something you did wrong. Literally, so that's where I'd pop off. You're going to call me out on social media for being a little homewrecker. Guess what? Screenshots of you. Too can play a bad game. Screenshots of you in that documentary are going up and people are going to see exactly what you did to your pregnant fiance.

1:02:34You want to mess with the bull? You're going to get the horns straight up the ass. I don't understand how he has the audacity to play with this fire and not expect to be burned. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I'm so perplexed. So perplexed. It's almost like, you remember when the Ashley Madison list came out? Oh my God, yeah. It's almost like this list will come out. like who was on the bonnie blue list who showed up because how many married or fiance people are in that engaged in that line or boyfriends all like you know but the other side of this that's interesting is whether or not to tell her and i think my gut was aligned with ops and saying you should but i'm also very very unfamiliar and have no knowledge of how certain things can affect someone that's in late stages of pregnancy.

1:03:27I don't have that knowledge, but now that you've done it, we can't undo it. She knows. I think the best course of action going forward is to go above and beyond, to spend time with her, watch movies with her, go kind of fulfill, not the boyfriend role, but fulfill, you fill a place, a void in her life to be there. So she's not alone stirring on this. So she's not alone thinking constantly, you know, getting super stressed, super anxious about, wow, I'm about to have this child. And, you know, at this point, probably wants nothing to do with the fiance. You hope. And I thought I was going to get married.

1:04:15I thought we're going to have this family. because you're the one that told her, I would be the one who's also there to support as much as I possibly can. You know, the same reason you want to be a good friend and tell her, be a good friend and step up when she really needs you now. And I think that that's not too big of an ask. And I think that'll also maybe make you feel better with all the stress you're having now about, oh my God, should I not have told her? Cause all the comments are saying, or all the people have been saying, I shouldn't have told her, you should have waited. Yeah. And I will say like STIs, STDs, like can significantly impact pregnancy and the health of a baby.

1:04:57A lot of them like HIV, syphilis, hep B can be passed from mother to baby during pregnancy at delivery through breastfeeding. I mean, like you should know as soon as possible. Like it doesn't matter if I was, if I was seven months, six months, I could be ready to pop. I I would want to know as soon as you know. And I do think it's kind of pathetic that people were like, you should watch the documentary. You should watch it. You should watch it. Like multiple people. Like, just tell me. Yeah. Just tell me. I feel like if I watched it and then discovered it, I'd be like, well, why didn't you just tell me?

1:05:32You knew. It was weird. Like, why do you want to set me up like that? Rather than making sure I'm in the right headspace and just tell me. I find it goofy. So I have my comments sorted by best. The top doesn't really even address OP. Okay. So someone goes, you wrote, I'd rather lose her friendship for telling her straight away than her finding out I knew and hid it. And I expect her to be angry at me, but she thanked me for being honest. So why does anyone else's opinion matter? OP responds, our friend group are afraid that the stress would harm her. She has had issues during the pregnancy and suffers from panic attacks.

1:06:11and if anything were to happen to her or the baby, I'd never forgive myself. And this is somehow worse than encouraging her to watch it by herself without any support while she's pregnant? Yeah, okay. Literally did not read that, but that's what I was envisioning. Like, imagine her watching this by herself with a fucking bag of popcorn next to her, just expecting to, like, watch a documentary because multiple people are telling her and maybe it's interesting and good and she should watch it. And then, bam, she sees her fiancé Yeah, that's why I think OP is the true friend who has her back. Yeah.

1:06:47Because it's kind of like you wouldn't want someone to walk around the corner and see something horrific no matter what. Like, it's like, oh, you don't want this blah, blah, blah. Like, I wouldn't even want her to watch it and have to go through it like that. That's terrible. so someone just says here just to be clear since op wasn't the dude was in a porn video banging a random chick with 999 other guys apparently while already with his fiance i'm pretty sure this is cut and dry lol and op does respond at it people were saying i was very vague in the post but i didn't know if saying the name of the documentary was against the rules and i didn't want to give too much information away for my friend's sake i'll edit the post later when i've gotten some sleep and my anxiety isn't as bad.

1:07:31He was a part of the 1000 Bonnie Blue lineup in January. They got engaged on Christmas day and my friend would have found out around January she was pregnant. She didn't tell us until she was three months pregnant. Dang. And how old is the post did you say? Post is. Cause she's it's eight months later, right? I mean, the post is from August 3rd, just a couple days ago. So he was in line at this thing doing this. Literally got engaged. A week. Fucked Bonnie Blue, got his girlfriend pregnant. Same week, maybe. Could have been same weekend. Dang. And it's been that long? Wow. Because I guess they had to make this documentary or porn video or whatever it is.

1:08:21I can't really tell at this point. I didn't even know there was a documentary but it took time to make that and now it came out and that's why I wonder who noticed first one of the friends I like want to watch it now to see like how recognizable people are like I'm so curious like I'm gonna find him in it I'm gonna verify the tattoos exist we're gonna have to watch it there's probably a lot of people with tattoos but I'm like oh I don't want to engage with that someone does go not the asshole but I gotta ask was he in a porno or are pornos now being called documentaries Right The Bonnie Blue documentary It's basically a porno We literally thought It was gonna show A human side to her Or anything else Than whatever That documentary was Yeah Okay And people are just like Yeah I was expecting To see some human side of it Like kind of more analyzed Like why she did it But Yeah I guess it's literally just That I don't know As a matter of fact I don't know Here it is I wonder I'm like Can I find a picture Of the guy with tattoos without watching it.

1:09:25I'm just like, how recognizable were the tattoos that like, literally that's how you found out. I'm just, I'm so, I'm so curious, but that's besides the point because you know why? Huh? We have an update. Okay. Just a baby. Oh, can I say what I would have done? What? I would have put on, I would have said, Hey, glad you're home. All my friends have been telling me about this, we got to sit down and watch this and see how he reacts. You'd be like, nah. Because that is gold. No, not a new it. That is gold. This episode is brought to you by Billy. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter.

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1:11:49My boyfriend of three years was one, so another friend's husband two hours ago, he posted screenshots of a group chat and photographic receipts no one could deny. So, oh my god, it's all of them, they're all going through it together. What? Hey guys, I got an idea of what we should go do. I have to. My friend's fiance wasn't the only one of our partners to do the lineup. My boyfriend of three years was one. So was another friend's husband. Your whole... Are they... What? Yep. He posted screenshots of a group chat and photographic receipts no one could deny. Other men in relationships are involved.

1:12:36He said in the caption, quote I wasn't the only one there tags me maybe check your own man before coming from my relationship tags five other women he is going out if he's going down he's taking everyone out with him I'm not taking the blame alone and being seen as the bad guy while tags the men did the same there was a lot more said but I stopped reading and just deleted my social media account and then blocked my now ex. I don't want to hear his explanation. I feel so humiliated and physically sick. I don't know how I'm going to face the co-workers or clients at work tomorrow. I wish I could just disappear.

1:13:18My phone is going crazy, so I'm going to turn it off, go for a long shower, and then see if I can get any sleep for what I'm sure will be hell tomorrow. Tough to lose a three-year relationship, yes, but you are on the good side of this. You didn't go cheat. There's not much people can say. How much can people really wrong you and make you feel embarrassed for your partner going and doing this? You don't control them. You don't have control over that. Yeah, people are going to be like, oh my God, like, can you believe this? But it'll die out. You just got to get through it. I think the worst part is that you lost the three-year relationship, but the best part is that you lost the three relationship with someone that is not your person.

1:14:08So it's like, I get the shock and, you know, the humiliation you must feel, but I really don't think in the end you have anything to be ashamed about because you did nothing wrong. But wow, did not see that coming. You thought you were just helping out a friend. And meanwhile, it's all you. You kind of helped the whole circle of gals here. It's insane. It's absolutely insane. Because you had the guts to actually say something. Yeah, and then in turn, you found out who you were actually with, which like does this suck? Is it painful? It's horrendous. It's so hard. It's miserable, brutal, heartbreaking.

1:14:48I don't know about them later. Three years is a long time, but thank God you found out before you got married. Now you can go get yourself tested. Like, it's just insane. So we do have a little bit of a note here. again people are just like how does this work so these men go into a room where there are five cameras all set up to record and thought a balaclava like a ski mask would prevent positive id along with the caveat they had to agree and allow themselves to be filmed because it was going to be public if you want a brief thing about this blah blah blah to really sum it up how this is for those that don't want to click the link seven men ruined their relationship for 45 seconds of sex.

1:15:27They got to stick it in, pump a few times, and then leave. And if you read the article, it's from The Tab, titled The Niche Logistic Details of How Bonnie Blue Managed to Sleep with 1 ,057 Men in 12 Hours. They didn't even quit at 1 ,000. What is the math on that? How many? It's probably about 30. What is it, like one a minute? It's a little less. What? Probably closer. It's probably the 30 to 45 seconds. 12 hours times 60 minutes an hour, 720 minutes divided by 1 ,057 men. Yeah, it's like 40-ish. 60.68 of a minute. Yeah, so it's, you know, it's - 40 seconds a person? Ish, yeah. 40 seconds a person?

1:16:16But not even like you got to think about, you know, see, I also don't understand why anyone would want to do this because you're here. there's a line of guys behind you because you can't take a lot of time switching, not to get graphic, but you can't. The transition's got to be pretty quick. So you're talking less than that. And in front of five cameras with five people standing around operating those cameras and a bunch of dudes in line getting ready behind you. And you were just in line watching this happen. Does that really get you going? Are you really like, wow, I love all these guys watching me and I just watched like 50 people in front of me.

1:16:56I think it's just a flex. Like I think it's a, she's one of the biggest OnlyFans creators. Like I think it's just a flex. Like this is kind of how it went. Like she shared her location live in London and handed out free ski masks and condoms. She invited people on Twitter, bring your friends, your family, your neighbors. She shared her location throughout the day and posted updates about how many men were in the queue. The event required 16 members of staff There was a complex one-way system floor plan to get so many men to her. A whole floor was turned into a nightclub so people wouldn't get bored waiting.

1:17:33Didn't use a bed. They could sleep with her alone or choose to join a group of five. What? Didn't use a... Are you not using some sort of bed-like thing? I don't know. I've already learned too much. Wow. are you on the floor? maybe a massage table I was envisioning a massage table easy to clean whatever this is you don't need cleaning just throw it away use a bed I don't know it's not the point this post is now 8 days old we don't have any other comments or updates since then But I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. Like this would be devastating to find out about a long-term partner and someone you just loved so deeply.

1:18:32I mean, three years is a decent chunk of change. Got to say though, this one goes into the record books. I mean, from start to finish, you find your super pregnant friend's husband or fiance doing this. then you find out the whole circles and i mean multiple guys wow multiple of your friend group at least you can kind of go through it together like that you can all go support her now everyone can go over for movie night i mean op needs help too but yeah i mean you can all like mutually do this together especially with eight months long this is actually this is good because every that yes it sucks but this is actually a very good situation because you you all found out hopefully there's no, you know, none of that going on.

1:19:21I mean, sounds like they used condoms. I mean, God, you hope everything worked and nothing broke and yay all around. But like, I think someone said in the comments, like get tested because if he cheated on you with Bonnie blue and a thousand dudes, like this probably isn't the first time, like you don't go from loving supportive partner, having a baby with your fiance to I'm going to go sleep with Bonnie blue. Unless some people just did it because it was that easy I mean it doesn't sound easy Sounds like there was a lot of people waiting in the queue Right but I'm saying The accessibility This is crazy A thousand fifty seven people in a day Why the extra fifty seven?

1:20:03Alright okay I don't know how to get the record I guess Okay Moving along You actually found This one last night. You were reading it to me and I'm like, oh my God, got to put it in. Yeah. This is turning into a little bit of a cheating episode, kind of. It's like a lot of interwoven themes today. Weddings, cheating, embarrassment, obviously. Trust. Always trust, always communication. Yes. So this one is coming from True Off My Chest, three days old. It is titled, My Husband Is Leaving Me For A Younger Woman And All I Can Think About Is The House Decor. I made this account because my main one has my friends on it and I'm way too embarrassed to be known as the cheated on wife.

1:20:51I'm 34 female, married for 7 years to my husband, 41 male, together for 10. I love my husband and always thought he felt the same about me. We built a life together. 8 years ago, he had severe anxiety and couldn't sleep, so I would stay up with him, holding his hands and doing breathing exercises until he could finally rest. I'd go to work exhausted. I helped him find a therapist. I encouraged him to grow in his career even though he was afraid. Six years ago, I quit my job to take care of his mom who had cancer because he had the potential to earn more than me. While I was job hunting again, I got pregnant and he suggested I stay home to take care of him and our daughter.

1:21:32So I did. I cared for him and I loved him. In December, he got a promotion, which meant more hours. I gave birth to our daughter in March. I went through a phase where I felt horrible, fat, ugly, and it was just me and the baby at home. He barely talked to me, always said he was tired and that I wouldn't understand what he had to say. If it wasn't for my mom staying on video calls with me, I think I would have felt completely abandoned. I've been suggesting couples therapy since June. He kept saying everything was fine. Now I feel like I'm nothing more than a mother. I used to read, study, be interesting.

1:22:11I wasn't sexually frustrated or insecure back then. I used to have conversations about politics, music, books, art. I decorate our house myself with my own savings, and it's everything I ever dreamed of. I love my house. The colors, the furniture, my kitchen. It took me years to make it exactly how I wanted. I have the garden I always dreamed of, a vegetable patch I adore, and a hanging chair where I love to sit with my baby. Last week, he came home later than usual, and I was happy to see him. I was in the living room playing with our daughters. He asked the elder one to go to her room. He seemed like he had been drinking and then said, quote, I love you so much, but I don't want to be with you anymore.

1:22:56He told me I wasn't the person he fell in love with anymore. He said he was in love with a girl from work and that she was everything he'd ever dreamed of and that he needed to give himself the chance to live that love without guilt. Yes, he cheated on me with a 22-year-old. When I finally managed to speak, the only thing that came out was, quote, but what about my home decor? At some point, I picked up my baby and started shouting things like, quote, I put time into this house. I did everything it needed. This house is mine. We argued because apparently I didn't value his suffering enough. I don't know why I kept talking about the house.

1:23:38I guess I'm disposable. I'm 34 with a four-month baby and a four-year-old daughter. I don't have a job. I'm going to lose my dream home. I feel ugly, fat, and he told me he's not attracted me anymore because I gained too much weight during my last pregnancy. That's how this post ends. Abrupt ending. Abrupt. What I thought reading this and hearing it now too is we set this up, you know, you did everything right. You were the best teammate someone could ask for. You know, you - Literally took care of his mom. You did that. When she was sick. You went above and beyond as a partner, which, you know, you should do when you're with someone for the long run.

1:24:25You know, we talk about seasons where someone needs more than the other. And I mean, you stepped up in ways that people wouldn't even expect. You did everything right. You stayed home when it made sense. All I heard in this whole post was how you were a great partner. and then all we hear about him is, yeah, he's good at going to work and making the money, but there's no mention of what he is as a partner. It started to go downhill and she once suggested couples counseling, obviously was met with resistance and it all culminates to this, well, I'm gonna leave you for the 22 year old at work and not to mention you're decently younger than him.

1:25:13to begin with. And now we're going to go for someone that's... Yeah. So regardless of what his life and his wants, whatever, he's irrelevant to me in this for you. I mean, this is going to be a pattern for him. I love your response because you were the one who decided to stay home. You decided to be the one that's going to be there. And yeah, maybe it was a team decision, but you're the one that's really doing it. You're being the kick-ass stay-at-home mom, right? you then went out and made, if you're going to spend that much time in this place, you're going to make it perfect for you. And I love that.

1:25:52And yes, you said it's with all your own money. So I would have the same concerns because it feels like a little bit that this wasn't incredibly shocking. It feels like you had some sense that things were obviously going downhill. Yeah, you could feel it. But, you know, it does kind of hit me where you say, and I was happy to see him. Like he was coming home. I was playing with the girls because you're still clinging on to this, this hope that this will turn into that perfect family unit and that, you know, you will have the true partner. To where you were. But I just. Honestly, I love her response.

1:26:32I love that you didn't get upset about him because if he's willing to cheat after you guys have been together for 10 years, you've made all these sacrifices, so many sacrifices. And like to have a baby and be so alone and just feel utterly abandoned because your partner won't even talk to you. So you're like, thank God I had my mom on a FaceTime. But like I used to be this whole person. And you do hear that a lot from moms, especially, you know, stay-at-home moms that are kind of in their little bubble in their home with their kids. I used to read. I used to be interesting. I used to have a life.

1:27:12And you still kind of see where, like, the person who is going out and working, they get to remain that person. They have a job. They have interest. They have all of these things. And I love that for someone who so clearly does not value her, does not love her in the same way she loves him, you know, making all these sacrifices. I love that she's like, what about my house? This is my house. It's not even the house. It's the decor. And that leads - It's everything in it. It's everything. And I love that. Yes. And that leads me to let's just not go after the decor. All right. No, let's go for everything.

1:27:55Let's go for everything because you made the sacrifice. And because you did, you don't have that financial stability that he does because he's built the career. He's built up to the promotions that you talked about. Yeah. The job he's in. Because of your support. You have a huge part in, and that's why, you know, these divorce, all of these situations get very complicated, but for a reason, because it needs to be equitable at the end of the day. And I think you go for it. Also, the line about she's everything I've ever wanted. She's 22. You are at such different late stages. You're 41. She probably doesn't even really know fully who she is yet.

1:28:46Does a 22-year-old want to be a stepmom to a four-month-old baby and a four-year-old? Sir, this is a fantasy. She probably wants a sugar daddy and a new Dior bag. What are you doing? I mean, regardless, the relationship's done. You know, I mean, that's like - No, it is. He's a lost cause. Whatever happens with him in the 22-year-old, it just seems like it's not good. it's probably not going to last. No. So the reality is look at what's in front of you, not just the decor. Come on now. Let's go for everything. It is everything. Go for as much as you can get. I know a lot of people are going to be like, well, she doesn't need to be a gold digger.

1:29:25Like blah, blah, blah. And it's like, no, like this is her life raft. Like the plane is going down. That's why I love this response. Like she can see it. The plane is going down. We've lost both engines. There's no getting engines back. Engines are out with a 22 year old. So what matters at this point? My home, my life raft, where's the life raft at this point? I need to secure my oxygen mask before I can assist in helping others. Like she is getting her oxygen mask. And like, I would be reeling too, because when you felt so utterly alone and your home is your safe space, it's this, this little sanctuary you've built you and your little babies and your garden and your swing, that is your peace.

1:30:09And to have your only peace ripped from you, I would be going nuclear. I would not leave that house. Call me a squatter because I would not leave ever, ever doors, locks, all getting changed. This is my house. You don't have to leave. Go move in with your 22 year old. Well, yes, it gets, that's where get the lawyer, get everything moving because you ain't losing your, hey, you're not losing your decor, okay? No. Every candlestick is yours. Top comment. I think that your first reaction being about your home decor tells you everything that you need to know. Your relationship with him was dead and now you can move on to better things.

1:30:50He doesn't deserve you or the lovely home you've created. I think the next comment down was like, why do you only care about your home? Why don't you care about your relationship? And someone goes, because it's the only thing in her life that makes her happy, aside from her daughters. She has the home of her dreams, which is obviously worth more than her soon-to-be ex-husband. And everyone's like, to be honest, I'd feel the same in her shoes. The home isn't the one that abandoned her and then cheated with someone nearly half his age. So I kind of understand why that's upsetting her the most. No, I'd be, I'd be going nuclear.

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1:32:14Its masculine counterpart, Womo Born in Roma Eau de Toilette, has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, spicy ginger, and mineral salt. Shop at Macy's.com. So, we do have some edits. Okay. Edit. I'm going to talk with his mom and brother about the divorce today. I'm starting with them because they're close to me, and his brother went through a divorce over infidelity early last year. Also, his mom is very attached to me for obvious reasons. I was there for her during the worst part of her life, and his brother and I are also very close. I also texted my mom, and she's coming here to stay with me and the girls.

1:32:54I hope she gets the visa to visit, and my dad, who's American, will be coming to my state in two weeks. Edit number two I talked to his brother about the affair And him leaving He told me to find a lawyer The same thing you all said Now we're talking to a few lawyers today I accepted the help because I have the girls with me So it's hard to do everything alone Yeah I love that she has their support Yeah And that is so true about the mom Like she helped take care of the mom When she was going through cancer probably more than her son did of course she's going to be appreciative and more attached to her for obvious reasons as OP put it like I hope I hope, hope, hope we keep getting updates on this one next update I got the house I have my decor me and the the daughters are so happy I don't know was his daughter or daughters?

1:33:54was there two? two two, yeah four year old and four month old The daughters are thriving. Ex-husband, you know, lasted with the 22-year-old for three weeks. He's now begging to come back. He wants his old life back. Yeah. I know. And he'll get there. He'll realize he messed up. I feel like a lot of people that end up in those situations do eventually realize they made a mistake. It just depends if they're too prideful to say anything. Exactly. But even when they're prideful, there are signs. It might be one year. Yeah. It might be 15 years. But it eventually bites him in the ass. OP does have a couple other comments here.

1:34:34I spoke with three lawyers today for emergency consults, and tomorrow we're seeing two more. But I liked one lawyer. She was my brother-in-law's attorney and also represented another friend of mine who went through a really tough divorce. There you go. There's people out there to support you and get you through this. He slept in the guest room, talking about her husband, ex-husband. And I don't think she has been in the house from what he said and from what I saw on Instagram. She has roommates, about three from the looks of it. And what group of 22 to 23-year-old girls would want to have a 41-year-old guy staying at their place?

1:35:13Dude, it just puts it in perspective. Like, she's just done with college. She's still living with roommates, probably from college. Thinking about me at 22? man you are so far from anything like this this is just a thing for her i know and when you see more of her comments like in the post she didn't really share about a lot like of details yeah but people are like how do you have a four-month-old if like you have a dead bedroom people are just like going so weird in the comments and she's like do you think my daughter was made with a finger we used to have sex until he didn't want to anymore.

1:35:54I had the postpartum period because it's necessary. But in June, when I bought a nice lingerie set, he called me a piglet because I'm 33 pounds heavier. Okay. Which is also the average weight when you have a child. I think it's actually 34 pounds. So you're under the average, my gal. Yeah. So when that shit's happening, I'd be long checked out to. I can't believe it shows the quality of a person she is because she even said I was excited to see him. Even after all of that. I know. Well, and there's a comment here that like does make me really, really sad for OP. Like just given the current tensions in our country with ICE and how scary this whole situation is, like on top of it.

1:36:44I've been living in the U.S. for 16 years, but I'm from South America. Honestly, I'm scared even though I'm here legally. And like, I think that's what's so hard. It's like, everyone's like, well, like if you came here legally, and it's like ICE is taking people that have green cards. ICE is detaining legal citizens for weeks. There's a person in Minnesota right now that ICE detained two weeks ago, and the courts have ordered them to release her back to her two little girls, two children, and she's not released yet. Like, it is such a scary, volatile time, and the laws are not being followed as they should be.

1:37:23Due process is being violated. And so this is really scary, especially when you have a four-month-old and a four-year-old involved. Yeah, it honestly feels like we're, you know, Great Britain when the people broke off and went to the U.S. to get away from all the crazy shit. That's what it's starting to feel like. It's like, well, we've just created our own bullshit. I just don't get what's happening. I think that no matter what, you go and you get the lawyer, you go through the whole process and get your life back. Truly your life back. Get it for yourself. And then eventually down the road, you'll find someone who really truly appreciates you.

1:38:09Yeah, and OP is starting to get on board. People are like, why don't you try to lose the weight? And OP's like, try getting back to normal weight after being a primary caregiver for two children after a difficult pregnancy and only four months since the baby was born. I'm very healthy. You know what's not healthy? The 600 calorie diet I was doing to try to lose weight and passing out. There's nothing lazy about taking care of a child alone. The people who help me are his brother and his mother because he's never home. I can't go to the gym. I can't do restrictive diets because breastfeeding requires me to eat properly.

1:38:38He may not be attracted to me anymore, but I know no 22-year-old girl will want him when his show-off lifestyle is cut down due to alimony and child support. There you go. Yes. Are they saying lose the weight to get him back? People are like, why are you lazy? Lose the weight. Literally. Like what? Oh my God. Insane. You're kidding. Insane. She just had a baby. OP goes like, I had this intrusive thought yesterday. He actually looked kind of hot taking care of my baby, but then I snapped back to reality and reminded myself I can't make any wrong moves until the divorce is finalized. I'm also feeling a bit starved for affection, which is clouding my judgment.

1:39:17Dang. Yeah. Yeah. Let's not go down that path. Someone said such a stupid comment. I'm not even going to read the first half. She responds to it. And OP is like, he can have the child support reviewed if he keeps the kids 50 % of the time, but I highly doubt he'll do that. He doesn't like hearing our baby cry and and he's always asking me to tell our toddler to be quieter. Yeah. Get that bag, girl. Get that bag. OP has been commenting as of a day ago. I read basically all of them, but let's keep our eyes peeled for an update on this one because I really want to make sure she's good. But I got one last one for us.

1:39:58Okay. The grand finale. I need to find my drum. It's in the other room. It's in the office over there. With the sticks? The sticks? I'm going to give you a choice on this one. Okay. Two very different problems. Okay. Wife, 35 female, doesn't want me, 39 male, making a cake for our daughter's daycare birthday party. Or, from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit, I will add, I accidentally sent my sister's husband to the ER after he jumped out at me as a joke while I was holding a kitchen knife. Now my family is divided and I don't know how to fix this. Yep. 100%. You kidding? We didn't need a coin flip for that one.

1:40:41I don't need no cake. Let's go to the ER. Cake one is juicy though, don't say it short. I don't doubt it is, but yeah. Okay. This happened three nights ago and I still feel sick to my stomach. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't stop replaying it in my head. I've always been a pretty jumpy person. I survived a home invasion five years ago, and ever since, I've had a severe startle response. My therapist and close friends know this, but I don't talk about it much with my extended family. I try to avoid situations that could trigger me. My sister, 33 female, is married to a guy, 35 male, who thinks of himself as the funny one in the family.

1:41:22He loves pranks, jump scares, and filming reactions for social media. I've told him before that I hate being startled, but he always seems to brush it off with, come on, it's just a joke. I've laughed it off at times just to avoid making things awkward, but inside, my heart always races and I feel this horrible, icy rush through my body. Three nights ago, my sister invited me over for dinner. She told me she'd be running late from work, but her husband would be home. I figured we'd just hang out until she got back. I offered to make dinner so I'd be ready when she arrived. I was in the kitchen, chopping vegetables when the lights suddenly cut out.

1:42:01Total darkness. I froze. My chest tightened instantly. Then, from somewhere behind me, I heard fast footsteps. Before I could even turn around, something lunged out of the pantry, screaming. I reacted before I could think. My hand jerked, the knife slipped, and the next thing I knew, he was on the floor holding his side, screaming in pain. I dropped the knife and scrambled to turn on the light. It was him, my sister's husband. There was blood spreading across his shirt. I remember yelling his name and pressing my hands over the wound while fumbling for my phone to call 911. The paramedics said the cut was deep but missed any major organs.

1:42:44He needed stitches and a night in the hospital for observation. The doctors said he'd recover physically, but my sister's face when she arrived at the ER is burned into my brain. Shock, then anger. Shouldn't even look at me when she said, you could have killed him. Half my family says it was an accident and that he was stupid for jumping out at me while I had a knife in my hand. The other half says I overreacted, that I should have, quote, known it was just him, and that this is exactly why they, quote, quote, don't trust me around sharp things. I can't believe I'm being talked about like I'm some kind of danger when I was literally attacked in my own home years ago.

1:43:26Now my sister won't answer my calls and her husband from his hospital bed texted me, quote, you ruined the joke. I don't even know how to respond to that. My therapist says it's not my fault, but I feel this crushing guilt like I've destroyed my relationship with my sister forever. Do I owe him an apology for injuring him, even though he caused the situation? Or should I stand my ground and make it clear that his prank could have ended much worse? How do I fix this without compromising my own safety and boundaries? I think he got lucky because he finally got what was coming to him. Are you kidding me?

1:44:07You're so embarrassing. You're going to attack a woman? Shut off the lights when she's holding a knife chopping vegetables. If this had happened to me, I don't think we're talking about a knife slip. Oh, it cut you situation. Especially if I've been through a house invasion before. I mean, this is just, this is self-defense. This is a normal reaction. Even if you're holding the knife and you just turn your body to face where the sound is coming from. They run right in. They run right into you. Like he shut off the lights. How are you going to see? It's not like, oh, the lights are off. Put down my knife.

1:44:42Hands up. Okay, freeze. Like, and then someone's coming screaming at you. I'm like struggling. I wouldn't have assumed it was him. I wouldn't have assumed someone is so dumb. I would have done the same thing, honestly, because it's already in your hand. And it's probably pretty goddamn dark. Okay. We're talking sun's down. Yeah. I mean, and it also takes a second for your eyes to adjust. Like, I mean, how stupid do you have to be? It's like, oh, if I go step off the cliff, I'm going to fall down it. Oh, if I attack someone that's cutting up in the pitch black dark, they have a huge knife in their hand.

1:45:21I could get cut. I feel like his text to her, you ruin the joke. I don't think he is blaming her because that to me says like you ruined the joke like not it doesn't feel serious like you almost killed me you almost did this like the that is true I feel like he kind of recognizes how big of an idiot but also still like but kind of blaming her for ruining his joke like to me it actually kind of feels serious you ruined the joke eh You think he's joking still? When it's compared with how his wife is reacting. Yeah, that's true. And also, come on. I get, yes, it turned into a very dangerous situation, but I could justify the wife's reaction if she had pranked him and he accidentally got cut.

1:46:15Yeah. If he was the one doing the vegetables, cutting up stuff, and she jumped out and popped and he somehow slipped and cut himself. Yeah. Reaction justified. but because he was the one to turn off the lights, especially with the context of the home invasion and then do this, yo, what planet are you living on? I get you're afraid for your husband and it was scary, but he did it to himself. Well, and I think that's the thing about us and our relationship. Like if this were me and you in this, like I wouldn't be with a prankster. It'd be a different planet, like a different universe. Obviously I'd get to the hospital.

1:46:52My first reaction was like, oh my God, thank God you're okay. like wow that was that was scary don't be dumbass again don't do that again don't ever don't ever don't do that again and then like i don't know like i feel like for me i i would actually probably be apologizing to my sister to be like i'm so sorry like thank god it it wasn't worse like good thing you didn't kill him like i know what you've been through i don't know why he would ever do this Exactly. And as the sister, you need to put your foot down with your husband and say, hey, my sister is not a target. Like, don't prank her again.

1:47:29Don't jump scare her again. Like, she's been through something really traumatic. It's been very clear. Don't. And I think I'm most saddened this by OP being like, I feel so guilty I maybe ruined the relationship with my sister. that's on them that's on them but that is so sad like that's really heartbreaking because this is not your fault this is such an accident one that he put you in that never should have happened and if your sister can't see the reality of this situation and see it for what it is that's not your fault like it's incredibly sad but it's not your fault and you don't deserve to be blamed.

1:48:12And I honestly would be more open with other family members to be like, I was attacked in my own home. I don't talk about it. I try to avoid situations. That's what happened. Like anyone that's shaming you, saying you overreacted, and that's why we don't trust you around sharp things, they would know exactly why. Like terrorize them back. Make them regret saying that. And I think if you're comfortable, of course, it's not something you have to do. But like I do think people need to be put in their place with information sometimes. And this could be one of those times. This could also prevent further issues.

1:48:47And you can very clearly then set the boundary once you give that information. Just so you all know, I was attacked in my home. It is a boundary for me. I don't want to be scared. Do not scare me or I will not talk to you again. Lay the boundary down. Reiterate it with the brother-in-law. And if he does it again, you don't want to be around him which unfortunately might make your sister collateral damage you might not have a good relationship with her anymore but it's worth it for your own mental health safety your therapy journey and ptsd likely like i feel like there's no way that her sister and her sister's husband don't know about the home invasion that's not something you just keep to yourself with your family.

1:49:34I think they very clearly know what happened. And I would think that they would know that that's probably one of the most traumatic things that she could have ever been through. And he essentially went and recreated the exact same situation. Yeah. I think this is karma. Listen, she put her foot down and told him very clearly in the past, I'm not comfortable with this. Please don't do this to me or around me. He did it in the worst possible way. Maybe you cannot call that a fucking joke. That is recreating someone's trauma, putting them back in that exact situation. What do you expect? You got lucky that it ended up this way.

1:50:21This was karma coming to tell you, stop messing around. This isn't a joke. It's never been a joke. You can't keep explaining all these dumb ass things away by calling them a joke. It's ridiculous. So you got lucky, but you had it coming to you. Top comment on this one. If this is real, then your family is fucking stupid. Next comment. They quote the brother-in-law. You ruined the joke. Nah, bro. You ruined your own spleen. And OP does reply to the top one. Yeah, it's been really eye opening seeing who thinks This was just harmless fun. I'm going to go see if there's any other comments from OP.

1:51:02No update on the post yet. Let's see if there's anything else. OP goes, it's common sense not to startle someone holding a knife, yet somehow I'm the one being treated like I overreacted. OP goes, it really did feel like I was reliving a break-in and my body just reacted. I wish more people in my family understood that. I've told him before that I hate being startled and he still thought it would be funny. I wish people would understand that jokes like that can have real consequences. Exactly. I'll buy you the Coke. Yeah, ditto, right? No. Jinx. Oh my God. I haven't said that in so long. I used to say it all the time.

1:51:45That's all I got on this episode of Two Hot Takes. I feel like it turned into like a that's not funny episode like that's not funny like I don't know just jokes bad jokes bad jokes this whole thing bad jokes embarrassing I'm fired up man bad jokes you know 11 11 make a wish 11 11 p.m. oh if I was the one holding that whoo easy oh my god Dude, I am so, it's like every night we set the alarm system. I'm like, oh my God. It's like the last thing on earth would be for that alarm to go off in the middle of night. It's just, it's such a fear. You have it for peace of mind, right? Because it would alert you.

1:52:40But at the same time, that would be the worst thing ever. So I'm just like. That's why we got guns. If I'm standing there with a knife and the lights go out and something's running towards me. No, it's my biggest fear. There is not any ounce of me that's thinking, could be a prank. Could be. No, that would be my absolute last reaction. Dude, it's karma. I'm telling you, that last one's got me fired up. Yeah, Justin's heated. I'm ready to go. He did. I'm ready to go. Justin will be on one of August bonus episodes on Patreon this month. Lauren is on two. So it's going to be a good month over on Patreon.

1:53:22The unhinged tier, our top tier now gets three full bonus episodes a month. And I dropped the price down$5. So it's, it feels like a pretty good deal. And there's also a bunch of free stories, a free mini episode from a couple of months ago, a lot of free content as well. And like, I just always put stuff out to the community about upcoming episodes. So come on over, even if you, you know, don't have it in your budget, come on over. It's an amazing community. There's so much fun stuff. And like, I love seeing everyone chat and just keep connected and share their stories. And it's a really great place for you if you have a personal write-in that you have a question or you're like, I just need some support or I need to know if I'm the asshole.

1:54:06There's so many different chats, especially once you are on a tier. Like the unhinged tier has a very private small chat for you to go and ask your problems. And I just think it's a great place to turn to with people that are gonna be unbiased and supportive and probably really similar to you. So if you need a little extra support right now, whatever you're going through, you don't wanna put it on Reddit, Two Outtakes Patreon is a good spot. And if you've never done it, you get all prior content? not just the three bonus this month. You get everything. All the way back. Everything. So if you've never done it, we should add up how many it would be.

1:54:43I literally was going through hard drives today because I literally keep all my hard drives and I was going through them and I was like, I have made a lot of content. I mean, do you think there's a hundred bonus episodes? I know there's at this point, I think there's over 600 posts, but I mean, bonus stories, bonus episodes, You know, we've shifted. We used to do bonus stories. Now we're all bonus episodes on all the tiers. So it's really shifted what we're doing over there. So we're pumping out two outtakes, does seven full-length episodes a month. It's a lot of content. So you don't want to miss it.

1:55:17So come on over to Patreon. It's a lot of fun. But other than that, that's all I got for you this episode. I've got some amazing guests coming up. But if there's anyone else you want to see, go tell them. go on their page and put go on two hot takes because I'm telling you I see some of your favorites that you comment when I ask for guests and I've asked a lot of them so you guys if there's someone you want to see go out get in their comments and let me know but it really helps if you spread the word about two hot takes and and get the word out in their in their comments their dms so thank you guys for doing that thank you for being here another episode another week another month our wedding's coming up it's just crazy it's gonna be crazy rest of the year so really appreciate you all and appreciate any patience if an episode is late here or there it gets up eventually but i love you guys until next time until next time bye bye

1:56:55We'll be right back. each other's cases. Subscribe to the premieres Wednesday on ABC. And stream the next day on Hulu. Side effects may include laughing, cheering, and lots of high fives. Hello, Superman. Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.