233: Updates or Bust?! Direct-Caterpillar77 Theme

33:13I think one of the girls is that bride's big. Like it seems like they were in a sorority together. So that's why that terminology is used. Because in the letter, dear redacted, as I sit here past the one year anniversary of my mother's death, rereading our old letters from big little week, I'm writing to express my deepest disappointment in you. So clearly there's a sorority connection. Yeah. And that's why that makes sense. because it goes it signs off with yours truly your perfect match little and then the next one is to the other girl yours truly your non-blood related sister then there's another text message i know you got my package in the mail you think i don't see it so clearly sent those packages with like tracking info assigned acceptance or something to know that they got them and it just goes on

34:12that's a lot fuck you the silence of friends hurts more than the words of enemies I'm very curious I will definitely post the link for this one because there's a lot here I think you know I'll include some pictures from the google drive on the youtube and I'll make sure They go on Instagram. But there is a lot here, a lot to unpack. I mean, clearly this person is hurting. And speaking of poetry, it was some of those lines in there were actually. I know. A little poetic. So you called it with the poetic whatever you said. I did like I was like if this wasn't so scary it would be like a very like like powerful type of message yeah I'm like is this coming from a grief book a grief poetry book because like it is very like very poetic yeah I see you I see you behind that screen you can't hide honestly you can run from me but you can't hide very very very good poet yeah i'm like looking at these other lines i'm trying to scroll up and find the line i wanted to read but there's so much context here that i i actually do feel like there's there's some stuff kind of missing because the bride in a text goes then the shirt god the shirt custom match made in heaven three months after my mom died are you sick so i'm like for something for the sorority was there like a match made in heaven like shirt they gave each other and like okay i mean i don't know if that's i mean it could be something the whole sorority plan exactly it's it's really and i i also don't think like there's going to be phrases that are going to be triggering to everyone based off of their experience for sure and so I think it's like one of those things where instead of trying to get the entire world to change for you you know like if that was a sorority thing well yeah everybody was doing that that's a cute phrase that has been around for a long time match made in heaven that's not like a negative phrase yeah and so I you know I think obviously there's it's triggering for yeah yeah for her right but like at the same time it's that's work that you got to do instead of trying to control, you know, hundreds of people around you.

36:49For sure. The line I did want to read before we move on. Your silence was never silence. It was knives. Every time you didn't text me, I heard the echo of your teeth grinding like the church bells when my mother was lowered down. Yeah, that was a wild line. Clearly going through some very very difficult things yeah and no I mean I feel just I feel bad for this girl like I know you just like don't even you don't know where to go from here as a friend I would I would feel sad honestly I would be in a really tough spot because you you still care about this person like even a friend that I cut off because of how toxic she was like you still on days I don't know when you're thinking about times like you still miss them you still hope for the best for them and so to get this to be met with such anger and grief and just yeah chaos it's hard to not feel bad and want to reach out to make sure she's okay but at the same time you're not responsible for someone else's mental health and she's clearly going through something and needs help yeah a professional she needs to talk to someone clearly dealing with grief from losing her mom still maybe not happy in her marriage maybe overall struggling because she lost friends right but that's on her to go address now right because she also pushed you guys out by her behavior yeah it's all on her like exactly she's creating this life that she is living and it's hard when you're in the thick of something tragic and terrible to realize it's my responsibility like i can't really blame anyone else but myself for this right now yeah so I hope she gets the help she needs what I just remembered that I said so many times from the last episode and so and I recognized it too while I was doing that and then I just recognized it right now again and I'm like fuck.

38:52Well, you can only do better from here. Story number two.

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39:39Games rated E for everyone. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe. It's super simple to use and with no selling fees. So you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. Okay, story number two. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Yelling at My Boyfriend to Just Shut Up When He Tried Giving Me a Corporate Finance Lecture During Sex?

40:21Whoa. My 23 female boyfriend, 24 male, works for a bank. He does stuff like financial modeling all day. I don't really understand it, despite some basic accounting concepts. Anyways, I work for a mid-sized company that is going to be taken over by some private equity firm. My company is public, and so is the acquiring private equity company. I mentioned this to my boyfriend as a passing point of interest and told him that I hope it didn't have a huge effect on me. After that, my boyfriend, who's working from home, said he'd look into it. And holy shit, he will not stop talking about it now. He took all of my company's public financial statements and created this Microsoft Excel model about the probability of the deal working out.

41:11At first, I was pretty interested. He taught me something like what a leveraged buyout is. That was a week ago. I'm dead serious when I say he won't stop talking about it. He talks about it all the time, constantly updating me with new information about how the deal may fall through, what the private equity company might do to cut costs, who might lose their job, how much profit the private equity company could make, how his and his friend's interviews went at that private equity company, and how he didn't get the job, the current interest rates climbing, quote, J-Pow and the Fed, how the private equity company may benefit from waiting to privatize my company, etc.

41:51It's literally all he talks about now. We were having sex this evening when we, while pretty tipsy, was talking about the whole waiting to privatize thing. I was literally having sex with him during this. Eventually, I just had enough and yelled at him to shut up about it. He seemed to really hurt and didn't say much after that. He went back to his apartment and, after not answering some of my texts, said I was being really harsh and that he wants some alone time. He's not answering my messages now. Was I actually overstepping by yelling at him to stop? I guess maybe I could have asked more nicely, but this was literally during sex.

42:34No, I, why, what's so wrong with telling someone to shut up? I don't know, I got yelled at in the third grade by someone's mom. We don't say shut up in this house. Okay, but that was third grade and that's what he's acting like. Yeah, I mean, I think it would be normal to be able to separate and realize like, hey, we're being intimate right now. It's not attractive or it's not going to make her horny if I talk about her private equity buyout firm leverage buyout. an average person would think that and you know common sense maybe but he is clearly very excited this is his shtick he loves finance he loves modeling and whatever he does it's giving someone who like this is their specialized interest and op hadn't said anything until this point right you're you've been buying in you've been talking about this you've been encouraging him I feel like you could have just been like hey You know, I don't really want to talk about this anymore.

43:38We'll see what happens Yeah, I mean there's definitely a million other better ways that she could have gone about it, but I also just think that like if I were to tell the person my boyfriend to shut up And then he like needed some alone time for like a couple days I would feel like jesus christ I I don't think I don't think op is the asshole but I'm kind of in the boat of you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Yeah. That's the saying, right? You know, I have no idea. I think it is. And I just feel like if you want a strong, successful relationship, like you need to be able to communicate basic things with your partner.

44:21Yeah. It didn't need to go from zero to yelling, shut up. But granted, it's not something I would want to hear during sex. So maybe this was the breaking point. Yeah. And she just had had enough. Like she couldn't contain it. She's trying to, you know, get some and he's focused on her work and still talking about it. So it just seems like they're kind of in two very different spots right now. Yeah. And I guess like, I mean, you can tell that he's very excited about it. And if there was a topic that I was very excited about and was doing all this research on, and I do get really excited about certain things and I like to like learn more and that's what I like to talk about.

44:59And so I understand that. So I do understand, you know, feeling like, whoa, you didn't need to speak to me that way. And that hurts my feelings because it's something I'm very excited about. And it's something that is a part of me. so I don't know what all their conversation was around that you know she might have just been like you're so annoying stop like there might have been more than just a shut up but if it was just a shut up like I feel like I would be like that was really mean but I feel like we could communicate about it in that moment rather than having to like have alone time but you know everyone deals with things differently so sure if that's what he needs great I just if I I would I would get frustrated if I had a boyfriend who would.

45:41Oh, this would drive me nuts. So like I get where she's at. I do get where she's at. And hey, maybe she thought shut up would be hot to him. Who knows? Some people like being told off in the bedroom. Yeah. It just didn't pan out for her. Yeah, totally. Top comment. Not the asshole. I find it perfectly reasonable to snap if your significant other talks about finance while having sex. Next comment down. Definitely. I can't think of a faster way to kill a lady boner than by mentioning j-pow and the fed not the asshole i don't even know what that means i'm like so illiterate with finances yeah i don't know what that means either j-pow is that's probably like a a nickname for what's that big financial institution like the dow no i don't know i'd have to look it up j-pow sounds like what justin would want his nickname to be j pow j pow that's so good wait what is it that he wants to start calling him again jt jt that's right next comment jt j pow jt j pow next comment down it was once called ma i guess that works for some people but as soon as he said it i saw his mother and then mine He never called me ma again.

47:03It was actually kind of traumatic and I'm sad just thinking about it. Whoa. Have you ever been called something in bed you didn't like? No. No. Someone goes, I had a guy start talking about what his ex-girlfriend liked during sex while he was mid-thrust. Then couldn't understand why I refused a second round with him or to see him in anything but a group setting. Oh my god. Next comment down. What a weirdo. Why are people so weird? I don't know. But this comment says people are stupid and don't have any idea what to do until they royally fuck up sometimes. I once managed to avoid getting laid on movie night when the movie I wanted wasn't available.

47:45So I got some movie about Will Smith killing himself to give his organs to people. I didn't know that in advance. Then I showed her my gun collection. Whoa. In my head, this was all random, unrelated and perfectly fine. Whoa. that's looking really dark i was stunned when months after we stopped dating i bumped into her and she said it was because i was creepy but i'm not creepy uh sure oh yeah that was creepy dude this guy one time helped me move in i was alone i didn't have movers and i was moving in my stuff from my own u-haul and i was waiting for a friend to come eventually and a neighbor just started helping me bring stuff in to my apartment to my home and then he like invited me over to his place for a drink afterwards and i was like yeah sure thank you so much for helping and he had axes all over his walls and he tried to explain why it wasn't weird or wasn't scary or that i shouldn't be nervous and i was like i gotta go i'm really nervous he knows my bedroom and everything but i he probably was nice but yeah that definitely can freak freak a girl out you know i'd be terrified yeah um we do not have an official update on this one just one little line that says update apparently somebody posted this on a finance website that my boyfriend goes on a lot and he saw it oh okay but what happened after that yeah we don't know no other updates otherwise direct caterpillar definitely would have found it for us yeah i just think that like unless there was a lot more to it like if she's freaking out on him i think that i don't think that saying shut up is like that big of a deal i don't know no i think there's worse things she could have said yeah i don't know what they are maybe a finance burn there's so many worse things what do you mean she could have been like you little weasel you suck at everything there's a lot of that like shut up is not that deep like it's not very nice but like it's not like that it's not that big of a deal speaking of deep we've got another okay

50:15no I was gonna say let's keep it we'll just keep going on the sex train oh god I was hoping it wasn't going I was hoping that's not what you meant I'm just we have another sex story okay pause for a brief interruption for me to get a glass of wine okay Okay. This episode is brought to you by Chrysler. Life with kids is basically a never-ending series of plot twists. One minute, everyone's buckled in. The next, someone's dropped a snack, lost a shoe, or needs a bathroom break immediately. That's why the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica is built for real life. With thoughtful features like stow-and-go seating, hands-free sliding doors, and passenger seating up to eight, it helps keep everything moving.

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52:13Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Visit cashapp.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Okay, Justin just came and gave us wine. Yay! Wine! Turn the bottle! No free promo! If a wine company wants to sponsor Two Hot Takes, I would really, really love that. my people at Spotify are Megan and Paige and Matt and they can help you. Okay, here we go. This next one is also about sex. Oh God. It is titled, my wife had her wild phase before me and now that I'm finally thriving, I feel like I missed out. Am I wrong for feeling this way? finally thriving he had the husband glow up oh got it i've been married to my wife for five years together for eight and we have two beautiful children she's been my first everything my first girlfriend my first real relationship my first in every sense it didn't really date in high school or college because honestly i didn't take care of myself.

53:22I lacked confidence and didn't feel attractive, so I stayed focused on other things. My wife, on the other hand, had a more typical college experience. She had a few relationships and had her phase as she was extremely attractive. She even did stuff with two guys at the same time. She was upfront about it when we started dating, and it never bothered me, although I tried to not think about it too much. Now, here's the thing. Over the years, she's become quite reserved when it comes to intimacy. She says she had her wild side during college, and now that she's done with that phase, she prefers a more traditional approach to intimacy.

54:06She says she's tried everything she wanted to and knows what she enjoys and what she doesn't enjoy in the bedroom. And she wants to build intimacy on love, not wild lust. And I completely respect that. I'm not trying to do something which doesn't excite her in the bedroom. But lately, I've changed. I'm in the best shape of my life, physically, mentally, emotionally. Even my family and friends are kind of shocked with how I look now. My wife loves the new me and says she finds me more attractive than ever. But to be blunt, I don't care that my wife finds me attractive. Uh-oh. Because I know I look good now.

54:45And it's not like her finding me more attractive will change anything in the bedroom department. My hormones right now are all over the place. And I can't help but feel like I missed my chance to experience that same fun side of life. I never had the exploration, the experimentation, the freedom. now that I finally feel great about myself, that door seems closed. I brought it up with my sister, we're close, and she was surprisingly blunt. She said it's unfair that my wife got to have those experiences and now expects me to settle for less than what she once enjoyed. That hit me harder than I expected, but my sister also loves me to death and said some crazy stuff like I I deserve to have an experience with at least one other woman in my life, else I'll keep resenting my wife.

55:38I love my wife. I don't want to hurt her. I'm not thinking of cheating or anything like that, but I do feel stuck between respecting her boundaries and acknowledging my own desires that never had the chance to exist. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you cope? I mean, I have a few questions. One, he's talking about his hormones are going crazy. I'm like, are you taking anything to help? It's giving supplements. Yeah, are you taking anything to help with your glow up, sir? Just curious.

56:15It's giving testosterone injections or something. Well, I know a few sad stories about guys who started taking steroids steroids in very long-term relationships and basically like changed in very negative ways and so that's why i'm asking i don't know it's like a very it's a simple little comment to me so it's like just i'm not trying to like put that assumption on this story but just out of curiosity is that a part of it and then two okay the sister saying that that's not fair what what like he could have done that too. He should have done that if he wanted to do that when he was in college. To say that that's not fair that she lived her life before dating him.

57:06I agree. You seemingly could have had the same opportunities just because you didn't feel your best doesn't mean you couldn't have put yourself out there and also tried to date, tried to do things. Yeah, it does feel a little unfair. But the sister said that it's not fair that your wife got to do that and you didn't. That just that bothers me because to say like that's not fair. What do you mean? That's not fair? You guys knew this going into the relationship. Don't say that that's not fair. That's that is what's unfair to say that about your wife for living her life before she got in a relationship with you.

57:37And it's like, sure. Okay. Maybe if I was wife, I wouldn't be like, I did all the crazy things before you like I I don't need to do that anymore because that almost feels like it's kind of rubbing it. I was gonna say it feels like it's rubbing it in his face a little bit. Yeah, Maybe she doesn't even recognize why he's talking about these things. Right. Where he's coming from. She's like, no, no, no, babe. Like, you're enough. Like, I don't need all that crazy, wild sex and threesomes. I want my relationship to be built on love and intimacy, which that's what we have. Right. She in her head is probably trying to make him feel better.

58:11Right. But all he hears is she had a threesome with two guys. Yeah. Like, you got to do all this stuff and, like, you don't want to do it with me. You want to do it with other people. Like, and I want to do that stuff. And now you don't want to do it with me. Like, that sucks. That's probably what he's hearing. But she's probably, yeah, exactly what you just said. So anyway, I mean. Where do they go from here? I don't, I don't know. I don't really like this. It's like, oh, I love her, but I also, I don't. Yeah, I don't know. I will say I do think it's a little odd and maybe this is just me. But if I was like, oh, I wish I would have got to experience more and have sex with more people.

58:56I don't think I would first go to my sibling no matter how close we were. I do think that was an interesting choice. I think some people are like that on that level so I mean I agree I wouldn't either but I think that some people do like I have like friends that are very close with their siblings they're all similar in age and they just kind of I don't know grew up that way and it doesn't really phase them I don't know I guess it's maybe just how biased the sister feels against the wife that's what makes it weird did you go to her because you knew what reaction you would get why aren't you really like openly talking to your wife about this because I think her being like I don't want to try all that crazy stuff or you know whatever she kind of said I'm paraphrasing here or her being like wild lust she wants to build intimacy on love like you can still have that but you can also still spice up your love life here and there whether it's role playing go out on a date pretend like you don't know each other like blah blah blah blah like if your husband wants to explore certain things he can ask he can have that conversation you can decide whether or not you want to do it yeah but at the same time like I do think it's healthy to be exploring with different forms of intimacy or acts and things like that to me my advice would be like you guys should go to couples therapy and maybe look into a sex therapist oh like if you feel like you're missing out but you love your wife yeah then like maybe there's ways you can see eye to eye and grow in that relationship together true but if you constantly feel like you're missing out i do think then your wife is not then you should yeah shouldn't be together yeah and maybe it's a separation maybe it's a go and see if the grass is really greener if she's okay with that likely not i mean we see this tale as old as time guy asked for open relationship guy is unsuccessful wife is more successful guy wants to close the relationship we've had multiple wife says too late i'm done with you and then we all applaud wife for making the smart decision yeah you never know tail as old as time the one line where i was like oh this kind of like was like surprising to me to be blunt i don't care that my wife finds me attractive right i hated that line sorry there's so many things that i forgot to mention that one what i want justin to find me attractive i i think i forgot about that because at the end when he was like I love my wife and so then I'm like okay he wants to stay with her but that comment made it seem like he doesn't really care like he's indifferent yeah I know that confused me but let's get into some of the comments okay okay so top comment I would be careful taking your sister's advice about your relationship the right thing is to have an honest conversation with your wife be direct next comment down this guy's sister hates his wife yeah next one yep sister would not plant that seed against another woman without ulterior motives yeah not enough info to know if sister is justified true this next comment the way most reddit posts go i half expect an update where his sister calls him one day because she got her head stuck in the washing machine.

1:02:14Stop. Please stop. Okay. Someone else has a constructive comment and goes, the grass is never greener on the other side. It is just different grass. From someone who is in the kink world, get really, really, really clear on what it is you actually want. Every fantasy sounds great in your imagination or in porn, but whatever it is you want to explore, it will not be the same when played out with your wife or any other woman if you break up or whatever. That's good advice, actually. It is a tale as old as time for a married person to have tons of ideas of what leaving their domesticated problems will be like.

1:02:52They think they will be swimming and pussy or men will be lining up for them. And reality is very, very different. That was a really hard line to read. That makes me I need to tell you something after this. They are often disappointed and wish they could have their marriage and family back. It would be better to talk to your wife, likely in therapy, that you feel like you need to spice things up. You won't get anywhere by just being mad at her. Dude, so on my way over here, you know, I had to take a detour downtown L.A. Yeah. I was at a stoplight with a guy holding a sign. And the sign said$10.

1:03:30And I'm thinking like asking for$10. But no, he's holding up a sign that says$10 and I will eat your dirty. I'm just going to say pousse. The other word sounds a little too aggressive right now. I know. I just had to read it. It was terrible. And I I'm like, get me out of downtown L.A. Like every time I'm here, I'm angry. $10. No, that instantly like us. No, no. But the fact that like he had to make sure it said dirty too Like it not even No like I'm not dirty Actually I don't even think it was dirty It was something like stanky or something Raunchy Yeah it was something Smegma-y It's something that was making it clear that it was something that would smell really bad Oh my god Maybe that's a kink for him But on a street corner with a cardboard box I feel like it was a social experiment made just for me.

1:04:31Just to freak me out. Probably. You don't like bodily fluids. So we do get an update on this one. Hi, everyone. I posted this last night and went to bed. I woke up a couple of hours ago, read through a lot of the replies. Thank you all for the honesty and decided to have a conversation with my wife this morning. My wife and I are usually very honest with each other. I was up front with her about how I've been feeling, specifically that I haven't been feeling very desired lately. She was surprised at first, and even a little shocked, because we're usually pretty lovey-dovey with each other. At first, she thought I was joking, but I told her I was serious.

1:05:12She reassured me that she loves me more than she can ever put into words, and that she finds me incredibly attractive. I asked her why I have to initiate intimacy most of the time, and that seemed to hit her. She got quiet and then told me she would make an effort to initiate more often, and even kissed me then to show me that she meant it. She wanted to do it there, but I rejected her and told her that I wasn't done. I told her that initiating more was a start, but what I really wanted was way, way, way more than that. I opened up about how she had the chance to explore her fantasies and experiment in her past, while I never had that chance.

1:05:51I told her about the attention I've been getting from other women recently, like, for example, three women at the library I go to regularly who have been very upfront with me and how I've turned all of them down, but that it still made me think. Oh, no. I told her I don't feel desired at all at home, and in fact, I feel more desired at the library or park or even at work when I talk to women. Then I told her directly, I want to seriously spice up our bedroom life. I'm not talking about just small things. I told her I'm in the best shape of my life and right now I want to feel that kind of wild lust that I never got to experience.

1:06:30Not in a reckless way, I just want that passion and fire, at least for the next few years, while I feel this good in my skin. To my surprise, my wife was very receptive to what I said. We sat down and talked more openly than we have in a long time. I told her some of the fantasies in my head that I would like to explore, and she actually listened and took me seriously. But then something happened that I wasn't expecting. She broke down in tears. She asked if I still found her attractive. That hurt to hear, because of course I do. I hugged her, comforted her, and told her I still find her beautiful as ever.

1:07:09Yes, she's gone through some body changes since giving birth, but that doesn't change how I feel about her at all. He's pissing me off. So yeah, that probably is my final update. We still have a lot to talk about, but for the first time in a while, I feel heard and hopeful. Thank you all again for your input. It really gave me the push I needed to be honest with myself and with my wife. I don't like him. It's really something. I mean, this is just coming from the other day, August 16th. We'll see if we get something else. Like if my husband and my partner of eight years was like, and he even said she was shocked because we're so lovey dovey together.

1:07:52It's not like she's cold and just shutting him off. And from my understanding, if my husband came back and was like, I feel happier at the library with these three skanks. I know that was quite wild and also like sorry i just added in the word he didn't say that but but like it's odd it's weird like what like there's three girls who are very tell me exactly how they feel about me well don't they say that you're married don't you tell them that you're married like and the fact that he's like things need to seriously change i'm not talking a little bit like really really really change it feels like a threat to me like it feels like he's like he's like hey i have women all over me and if you don't become my exact perfect little doll that I want you to be in the bedroom that's what's gonna happen like that's what it felt like to me I don't I mean it did feel like he was being like I have women lining up to replace you yeah if you don't perform yeah and that feels a little like maybe some are gonna be like oh you're jumping to conclusions Morgan but no not really because he was telling her this as a way to motivate her to spice things up yeah Hey, I have these other hot women hitting on me at the library.

1:09:03You should be thanking me for being such a good husband and turning them down. Literally. That's how I deserve. I deserve a medal, actually, for cheating on you because I'm so hot now. I'm so hot now. And just in general, like to be a woman in the first place, like she probably turns down men left and right her entire time being with him. Like now he's getting it for the first time and you think you deserve a fucking award. I don't know. whatever. I get that he's also being honest, which is better than not being honest. So he is just saying what's on his mind. And I guess it's good to get it out there.

1:09:39So maybe I should reel it in a little bit on him. But overall, yeah, he I'm not I'm not the biggest fan, to be honest. No. And I do think it's odd that he mentions how attractive she is and, you know, all of this and, you know mentioned we've been married eight years have two kids but like one of the last lines on this to almost like justify him and his feelings yeah she's gone through some body changes oh my god since giving birth but that doesn't change how i feel about her at all yeah that really why do you even have to mention that yeah why do you have to mention like of course she's gonna have body changes after giving birth to two children it makes me so mad can you do that again no that was really crazy you look like wreck it rolf just like gearing up oh god and i am yeah i

1:10:33um i just it really pisses me off because it's like oh well you were working out like she was having your baby and now now you think you're too good for her like i don't know i don't know what people are gonna say but i don't like him no what are people saying um i feel like people were really supportive of him based off of his response i think people were just like dude you gotta talk to your wife yeah top comments i have a feeling this is definitely not over next one quote hey guys talk to my wife about it and it went great she broke down in tears and asked if i still found her attractive i think that's a great sign i'm about to have so much hot sex literally thank you thank you for that comment i i think I thought that I was like on this island by myself for a second because of the fact that he was like, thank you guys so much for being so supportive in the comments.

1:11:27So someone who's delusional will sort through comments to find things that fit their narrative. Yeah. But I think that in the beginning, he people were more accommodating. Be a little bit. Yeah. So I think that makes sense. And for sure. I'm glad that people are feeling the feels that I'm feeling. So that I'm not feeling alone. Yeah. let's see how you feel about this next one okay with the he did no response from that it was the end op has actually deleted his account so i don't know if we'll get any updates beyond that but if we do i'm sure direct caterpillar 77 will be on it nice on it just like people like that i'm like what about what's gonna happen in your relationship when you guys are like I don't know 80 years old like are you going to be going after some young 20 year old just because your wife is 80 now like and doesn't want to hook up with you as much like oh it's so funny I actually like know someone through like a mutual connection it's very loose but she ended up cheating on this guy and getting together and then got engaged to this guy that was like 40 years older than her and she literally like turned 27 aged out air quotes there and he broke up with her ended their engagement and then started dating someone that was like 22 wow and like keeps like yeah breakup date younger breakup date younger like it's kind of like that running joke on leonardo dicaprio that whenever his girlfriend turns 26 he breaks up with her yeah i don't know oh yeah i don't Yeah.

1:13:05But this next one has me intrigued. I also have not read any of these today. I was just trusting Direct Caterpillar. Okay. The titles are really enticing me and that's what I'm picking based on. Good. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. Breathe in. Now breathe out. You feel that? That's the calm of having Intuit Credit Karma in your corner. If you're trying to get your life together in this crazy world, Credit Karma is a great place to start with the money stuff. Your credit score isn't just a number. It can unlock better rates, more options, and real savings. So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you.

1:13:47When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on Credit Karma for less craziness and more credit. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe. It's super simple to use and with no selling fees, so you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. Okay, I'm going to give you a choice on this one actually option number one i 20 female saw my 22 male boyfriend's apartment for the first time and it creeped me out or option two a girl 23 female i 21 male went on a date with made some very hurtful remarks about me and my sword weapon collection and my martial arts that have been liked and shared on Facebook dozens of times.

1:14:52Do I demand an apology? Ew, I don't even want to hear that guy. Shut up. So option one. Okay, no airtime for you. Again. Should I demand an apology? Well, now I'm going to make you read it on Patreon. Oh, God.

1:15:13Just kidding. I don't really know what my evil laugh would be if I became a super villain. I just need to say this because I don't know when to say this. But the last episode that came out, we were talking about Taylor Swift. Yeah. And how she's coming out with an album. And then she got engaged. And then she got engaged within that time that we recorded. Like a week later. Yeah. and um people were like i can't imagine how you felt if that's how you felt with i freaked out i literally i texted you to you immediately yeah no i was like she's engaged it was like i found out within like two minutes of it happening i know i'm excited for her i'm obsessed i'm so excited for her that is literally my king and queen i drafted him on my fantasy league this year oh yeah love that yeah my number two tight end if i did that i would draft him for every pick And I'm sure that's not allowed, but you know what?

1:16:09That's not a thing. I would make it a thing. I literally picked everyone that I love watching this year. I've got Joe Burrow as my quarterback. I tried to get Josh Allen, but he went a little too early for me. I've got Travis Kelsey. I just kept picking people that I really enjoy watching. I'm not personally a fan. I think there's other quarterbacks that are better, but that's just me. That's my take. I'm not a Chiefs lover. you know I'm not I just like watching Travis Kelsey yeah that's fair he's fun to watch tight end tight ass celebration good stuff oh I'm not allowed to say that whoa careful that's our that's our girl's guy whoa he's a he's a killer no I don't even know what his butt looks like I just I liked the play on words sure you don't I don't I'm obsessed with them I'm not obsessed with him individually yeah no I'm obsessed with him for her exactly I'm just like really excited for someone that's been like ridiculed in the media from the time she was like 16 about boys and who she's dating and very asked very inappropriate questions.

1:17:14It's just nice to see her happy. It makes me so emotional. Like when I see clips of them, when I see clips of her speaking about things that she wants in life and in a relationship in the past and seeing her get that now, like it literally makes me choke up and cry. I know. It's a little manifesting. I'm obsessed. Never doubt that your person is out there and don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. Yeah. You'll find the one. So this next one, again, I, 20 female, saw my 22 male boyfriend's apartment for the first time and it creeped me out. Hi Reddit, I'm making this on a throwaway because I'm scared my boyfriend is a serial killer or something and I don't want him to see this.

1:17:58Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year. Let's call him Michael. why did you pick a serial killer name i've never visited his apartment before he's always stayed the night at my place on date nights and whenever i asked to go visit his he just said he prefers it at my place and i never really thought anything of it anyways about a week ago he got really drunk and incoherent so i told him i was going to take him home he asked to go to my place but i said no as I didn't want him being sick in my apartment. I had to drag his address out of him, but I assumed he was just drunk and it never occurred to me he didn't want me to know where he lives.

1:18:37I took him there and he lived in a real nice part of town, like seriously the type of apartments rich businessmen live in. I knew he had a good job and made a lot of money, but I didn't know it was this much. I took him into his apartment and this is where it gets weird. I don't know if I'm just overreacting and he's just non-materialistic, but it was just too weird. He had literally no furniture. He had a mattress in his bedroom with covers, but no pillows, which he immediately passed out on, leaving me to look around. Next to his bed, he had a giant pile of books, almost all of them on sales and people skills.

1:19:22I get he's into the whole self-help thing and I am too but really only books on making people do things you want he works in sales so it makes sense but some of them didn't seem as much to do with sales as they did manipulation like there was genuinely a book with manipulation in the fucking title the rest of his house was not a good sign the rest of his house was empty he had a built-in wardrobe full of expensive clothes I knew he always dressed good, but when the only thing you own is expensive clothes, that's kind of weird. Also, he had his phone charger plugged in and nothing else other than cosmetic stuff.

1:20:05So bathroom essentials, cologne, that sort of thing. It just amazed me he could live like this. I checked his fridge and it had plenty of food in it and he had a few cooking stuff in his drawers. So he clearly lived there enough to justify some sort of furniture. No TV, no laptop, not even a fucking chair. The only room that looked complete was the bathroom. It had everything you'd need. Toothbrush, toothpaste, a mirror. That room seemed complete enough. It was just so creepy, I started thinking back to all the weird things he's done. I know he's lived there since I've known him, because I don't recall him mentioning he lived in that block early on.

1:20:45But then it got me thinking, okay, he's always being dedicated to his work, and I love that about him. He's ambitious and passionate about something, but that's pretty much all I know he cares about. I've never met a single friend of his. I've seen work buddies, but I don't recall him ever once seeing anyone out of work. I've never met his family and barely know anything about them other than he's never met his biological mom. He's very good at making people like him. All of my friends love him, but I've never known him to be interested in anyone other than me, I guess. He's always kept me at a distance, saying he needs a lot of alone time, especially with him working all the time.

1:21:24So I see him a few times a week, but the rest of the time, he's on his own in an empty apartment. I know this is wrong of me, but I asked a friend to follow him one day after work, and she said he went straight from work to his apartment. I even went to visit him without warning one of those days, and he was there all alone. From what I could tell, he wasn't even reading, as all the books were still in a pile. So what the fuck does he do? I don't know if I'm being ridiculous, but I'm convinced he's either a vampire who's adapted to sunlight or some sort of psychopath. I haven't talked to him about it, and he hasn't acted like it's weird or needs explaining.

1:22:02What should I do? What does this mean about him? I feel like there has to be some sort of explanation. This isn't normal. He has enough time off work, but never seems to go out so he can't just be sitting in an empty apartment doing nothing it doesn't make sense um i don't find it that weird really let's hear why i mean yes it it's it is odd but to wonder if he is a vampire who's adapted to sunlight unlikely to me i mean i guess i don't know how long he was living there. But if he's so focused on work and why don't you think he has a laptop somewhere else? Like maybe it's just in his closet. I don't know.

1:22:46I mean, maybe he works when he gets home from his bed. And yeah, that's weird. Maybe he stands at his kitchen. I don't know. Like it's maybe he just goes on TikTok for hours at end when he's done working and just sits on his bed and looks at TikTok. Like, sure, these are all weird things. But like, I don't I don't know if it's the level of what she's looking for. I just feel like there's a lot of guys that I've known of specifically. How old are they again? 22. Yeah. And 20. Yeah. Like, come on. Like at that age, like there was so many people, guys that I knew that just like didn't have, they don't care about their furniture.

1:23:22They don't have anything in there. No, there's like a running joke about guys not having a headboard and having the same blue comforter. Yeah. And gray sheets. Yeah. It's a running joke. Yeah. Specifically if this guy's like super into his work that sounds like that's what he's focused on and doesn't really care about what else. He probably realizes that it's embarrassing that he doesn't have furniture so that's why he didn't want you to come over. I mean I will say it's a little crazy he doesn't even have a chair. Where are you sitting? They're 20 and 22. But where are you sitting? On the bed.

1:24:01All the time? You gotta mix it up. Are you sure there's not like a chair around the island table? She said no chairs. No chairs. No TV. No laptop. No chairs. Beds are for sleep and sex. If you want a healthy sleep routine and good sleep habits, good sleep hygiene, sleep and sex. I'm not a chair. it's weird I just don't think it's the level of weird of what she's trying to figure out also I eat my bed you guys like I'm disgusting I wear outside clothes in my bed sometimes when I'm really tired and just need a nap so I will say I don't follow the good sleep hygiene rules but no chair sir go to Ikea yeah I don't know I don't find it that weird like I do I find it weird like I personally would not want to date someone that was doing that but if I was like in my young 20 if I was 22 or 20 I would be like this is weird but I wouldn't think like are you a serial killer like it was quite the jump right that's what I'm saying also they've been together for almost a year if my boyfriend didn't let me come over to his house for almost a year my guess wouldn't be serial killer I'd think married yeah yeah like I'd think married and that's his second house that's the fuck apartment right like i wouldn't think serial killer but and if he was older i might think that too like if they if they were like in their 30s i'd be like maybe that's his bachelor pad true he is 22 but hey sounds a little bougie given the where the apartment is and the nice level of apartment close to work makes a lot of money he can be trust fund kid he can yeah there's such a difference between like getting a spot and then to live and then decorating it.

1:25:54True. And maybe he maxed out by getting such a nice apartment and does not have anything for furniture. Yeah. I know people do that too. A lot of people I've seen on TikTok are like, please watch my video so I can get furniture for my house. Like we spent everything getting the house and with how things are nowadays, like that is a reality for a lot of people. Like to be able to afford a house, the down payment, all of this stuff, like people do become, air quotes, it's house poor and you might not be able to get furniture right away when you get your keys. Like that's the reality. Yeah. So. And then once you get used to it too, like, I feel like it can be just like a, he normalized it.

1:26:34Like maybe he was like, I'll get to it eventually, but then he just normalized it. But I agree. I think it's weird, more weird that he didn't ever invite her over in a year. In a year. Yeah. That's a decent amount of time. Yeah. To be dating someone. It's not three months. A year. A little fishy. So sorting by the best comments, it doesn't mean he's a psychopath, but it's definitely weird. I've known dudes like this. That's what I'm saying. It's off-putting at best. He's highly driven, highly compartmentalized, utilitarian man who has no need for aesthetics, like an alien who came to Earth undercover trying to blend in.

1:27:12I find it insanely troubling that you've been dating for a year and this is the first time you ever went over to his place. that should be a first month activity keep that in mind yeah it's like exactly what i said just extremely condensed so there is next time so there is a comment that op responds to here this person goes the guy is 22 works in sales and this is probably his first apartment he may not know how to furnish the place and make it nice he may not have had time because of his job deciding that he's a weirdo is going too far. I'd like to take a moment to talk about your actions here.

1:27:49First, you had this guy followed. Yeah. What? Who's the weirdo? You had him followed? That's a big deal, ma 'am. It's not a minor thing. Second, when you went to his house, you decided to check on, one, how much money does he make and what does he spend it on? Two, what kind of furniture does he buy and how much does he have? Three, how does he prioritize clothing, work versus personal? 4. What does he keep in his fridge? 5. Does he know how to cook? 6. What's in his bathroom? 7. What kinds of things does he read and think about? And then decided to draw your own conclusions and interpretations on every item above.

1:28:28I understand you are probably intensely curious as this is an important relationship to you. The way you are going about figuring this guy out is awful. Having him followed, snooping around through his stuff when he's passed out, and drawing your own conclusions, 100 % giving him no opportunity to explain, that sucks. If you want to understand someone, talk to them. I strongly urge you to stop having your boyfriend followed and stop snooping on him. That behavior is really sketchy. Yeah. OP responds, I get that having him followed was a step too far, but do you not really find this peculiar if you were me?

1:29:07Would you not want to look around his apartment to try to figure him out once you saw this. I didn't check how much money he makes. I have no idea. I just know these apartments are expensive. I didn't have to check furniture. It was obviously not there. It didn't take a detective to figure out it was empty. I checked the fridge purely to see if he even lived there. If it was empty, that would be a good clue he's been renovating or something. Do you not know how girls look around a guy's apartment when they first visit? Even if it's normal, we just like to be nosy. True. Honestly, true. In some sense, I wouldn't have the person followed.

1:29:44Yeah, like I don't I think looking through drawers feels a bit invasive, but like looking in the fridge, that's not that's I'll do that at any house like with a without even thinking without even being hungry. Just open the fridge door, close the fridge door. the amount of times i open my fridge i know for no reason i honestly like i should have to pay a tax or like i have to do a jumping jack every time i open it because i'm constantly anything good no shut it walk back nope now is there anything good still now no does anything look appealing this time no no same so there is another comment someone goes i don't think he's a serial killer.

1:30:27I think he's probably living somewhere else permanently with a girlfriend, maybe. And this is a spare place. You haven't met his friends because, well, he has someone else. Same with his family. His alone time, probably with his other girlfriend in the place where he actually lives. You should never be dating someone for almost a year and not know their address or meet their friends. Huge red flag for the future. I know. OP responds, my first thought was he doesn't actually live there, but I don't think that's it. Why would he rent a really nice apartment and make it so sinister if he's trying to live a double life?

1:31:00Wouldn't it make more sense to rent a reasonably priced apartment and decorate it with cheap furniture? If this was a fake place, I definitely doubt he'd have the huge stack of books or be there when I randomly called. Plus, my friend followed him and he went straight there after work. I know if he was going to pull some double life shit, he'd be smarter than that. So I'm going to have to assume it's genuinely his place until I find evidence to say otherwise. The family and friends thing I never really thought about until this. I know despite him being so charismatic and lovable he isn't actively very social.

1:31:34He's a very good listener but when I think about it he's always the one asking the questions and listening but never really talking about himself. I actually asked him about why he doesn't talk about himself much and he told me that everyone likes to talk about themselves more than they like to hear about others, which is like a common tactic in a lot of those books, I will say, because it was in a masterclass, like how to engage with people socially, continue to ask them questions. Side note. I'm doing a bad job at coding him, but it did sound very sweet the way he explained it. He said that through working in sales, he'd learn to care more about other people than himself.

1:32:09He also said he already knows everything about himself, so it's become more enjoyable to learn about others. If it wasn't for all the books on people, I'd think that was sweet, but knowing he's clearly researched how to get to people to do what he wants and like him, it's kind of sinister. Also the fact that so many people like him, but he never wants to go out with anyone if they ask is kind of weird. I feel like I need to ask. I don't really mind if he has a bad relationship with his family and isn't very social, but I gotta know why. Sinister. Again, And I hope he's very aggressive with these words.

1:32:48Unfortunately, we do not have an update on this one. Here's the other part about this. Killing me. Well, here's the other part about this episode that's kind of wild for me. I was just looking at direct Caterpillar's account, picking the best titles. I didn't even look at what subreddit it was coming from. If it was coming from best of Redditor updates or best of no updates. I played myself. I literally was fully reading this about to get an update. and now I'm pissed. I played myself. Now you know how it feels. Welcome.

1:33:21Yeah, no, that's really a buzzkill that there's no update. None. I just checked the account. None. I also just think like maybe you guys should just like break up and go your separate ways. I don't know. Just throwing it out there. Just throwing it out there. This post is also eight years old. So we are not getting an update. Wow. they're like 30 now i want to know if he has furniture if he finds this please let me know if you got furniture and if you did please send pics love to see how you decorated yeah please uh please update us someone does say on this um post from direct caterpillar in best of no updates lol he was the embodiment of a young man just needing a mattress and tv and she thinks he's a serial killer.

1:34:10That's what I'm saying. Someone does go, to be fair, it's the state of the apartment plus everything else. She didn't know where he lived for about a year dating, hasn't met his family, no friends outside of work friends, doesn't ever talk about himself. Those are all yellow or red flags. So once she saw the apartment, it set off her concerns. Yeah. Wild. I will say you're a bit of a goofball for having him stalked. Don't do that again. yeah I would say don't do that unless you have a valid reason to do so goofy don't I don't know I don't know if there are well there might be a valid enough reason yeah if you think people hire PIs yeah not even cheating if you think that somebody's genuinely doing something really actually horrific you could save some people's lives if you haven't followed so I don't want to say never do that there you go always always the exception to the rule So this one is coming from our very own 2HotTakes subreddit.

1:35:10Making sure I haven't read it so no one yells at me. Wow, I didn't even realize making sure I haven't read it is the same as Reddit. I think that's why it's called Reddit. No, that makes sense and I never thought about that. Yeah. Wow. So I haven't. It's not in my master spreadsheet. So if I have, I'm sorry. This is titled, My neighbor thinks I hexed her because her sourdough starter died, and now she's staging counter spells in my yard. That'll happen. So I live in a duplex, and my neighbor, let's call her Linda, is this 50-something woman who's really into witchcraft, crystals, moon water, the whole deal.

1:35:57I don't care. She's harmless, or she was. About a month ago, she came over ranting that her sourdough starter died overnight and that she could feel my energy was bad that day. I laughed because it's bread goo. I told her maybe it was just mold or she forgot to feed it. Big mistake. Ever since, she's convinced I hexed her kitchen. She started doing these loud cleansing rituals in our shared front yard at like 3 a.m., burning sage, chanting in what I think is bad Spanish, and sprinkling mystery liquid around my plants. One morning, I found my basil covered in glitter. last week she escalated i came home and there was a raw chicken not even packaged just a raw slimy chicken sitting in the middle of my welcome mat with a note taped to it that said the curse is returned oh no all caps i literally had to bleach my doorstep i've tried ignoring it But last night she knocked on my door holding a mason jar of cloudy water and told me to drink this so we can be friends again.

1:37:17Oh my god. I said, no, Linda, and shut the door. She started screaming that I, quote, don't respect the balance and that, quote, the bread gods will punish me. Now I'm wondering if I should call the police. but how do you even explain my neighbor thinks I killed her yeast and is retaliating with poultry based magic see my toxic trait is that I would have drank the cloudy water and been like okay linda balance has been restored oh my gosh what what you don't know what she put in there what if there's bleach in there yeah but I don't know what the consequences are if I don't drink the water there is no way you'd actually drink it there's no way i don't know i there's not a chance i you're right i i wouldn't but i would be i would like wait lay it up at night and be like like what's gonna happen that i didn't drink the water there's no way lauren you're scared of fluids and you didn't drink the breast milk there's no way yeah that's because you guys wanted it all to yourself you keep telling yourself that no i'm kidding i definitely didn't want it but you were gagging at the thought yeah so there's no way yeah no but like i don't know i have such a bad i hate coming across those things like on tiktok for example where they're like oh click yeah or write yes on here if you want to have a good day i'm like shit okay yes oh my god i just i hate it i'm like leave me alone don't do this to me i really i don't want it to get in my head and they do get in my head yeah so i don't i like to avoid all those things and so i would hate having a neighbor like linda because i'd be like damn it linda gotta drink this nasty water again just to restore the balance the world just get out there at 3 a.m and whip some sage around with her yeah no i would just ethically sourced sage only i would have to move which like a lot of people are like you can't get ethical sage use other things if you're not indigenous I will just say that now, but yeah.

1:39:20You'd move? I think Linda would be too much for me. Yeah, I think there's a couple different routes you could go. You could traumatize her back and go harder and really start chanting and doing your own chicken spells. You could do a wellness check, try to contact her family. Three, ignore. Four, move. That's kind of... Police, though, is a good call as well. A little wellness check could be good. I think if there's a mental health crisis going on, if you have a mental health agency in your area versus the police, I would recommend calling them. I know there's a lot of cities that are making initiatives to have mental health responders instead of police for instances like this.

1:40:11Yeah. Is it safer for everyone? but that's not very common. It could be hard to find. It might not exist but maybe look into it if it's available for you. Top comment on this one with only 299 upvotes. I had a neighbor with delusional thinking and had to have the police talk to her and explain where she legally can do her crazy. She took their instructions seriously. It didn't keep her from standing in the street and yelling at me but she never came onto my property or talked to my kids. well that's not that big of a win but okay yeah uh someone goes oh my god yes exactly like that having the cops set clear boundaries can totally keep things from getting crazier even if the weirdness doesn't stop 100 definitely the way to go before things spiral any further next comment i can just imagine the scene two very put upon looking officers drawing a chalk line on the sidewalk.

1:41:08Ma 'am, in the future, the chicken must stay on this side of the line. Is that clear? I don't know if you can put the chicken there. It's littering. That's an interesting take. We do get an update, luckily. Nice. Finally, some satisfaction. Thank the Reddit lords. The night that I posted the story, I saw her last night burying a Ziploc bag of cooked spaghetti under my car and yelling that she has to do this to confuse the bread spirits. I thought that would be my last straw, but then last night I saw her in my backyard, my fenced backyard, shaking what looked like a salt shaker over my lawn while mumbling something about restoring the bread line.

1:41:54That was it. I called the non-emergency police line. Two officers showed up about 20 minutes later, I explained the whole situation, the dead sourdough starter, the 3am chanting, the raw chicken, the jars of swamp water, the spaghetti burial, all of it. I tried to make it sound serious, but not too insane. They go to talk to her and within about 30 seconds, I hear her yelling, quote, she's lying. The dough told me what she did. Then she drags them in her kitchen to show them the evidence. Ten minutes later, the officers come back out looking like they just survived a hostage negotiation with the Pillsbury Doughboy.

1:42:37They said she has some unusual beliefs, but as long as she's not physically harming me or damaging property, their hands are tied. They suggested I install a fence, I have one, and avoid engaging. As they were leaving, Linda stood on her porch, holding a loaf of bread over her head like the Lion King baby, and screamed, The curse will turn on you! So now I have police documentation, zero solutions, and a neighbor who probably thinks she won that round. Linda, you're insufferable. Linda! Linda, listen! Do you remember that meme? Oh yeah! Listen to me, Linda! They're so cute. Was that, that, that was the name, wasn't it?

1:43:33Yeah. Right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I can't end it on that note. So I've got one last one for us. Dude, that was it. Like I would have to move. Are you kidding me? Yeah. I think if you're renting, unless it's like an insanely good deal that you just like cannot pass up I would probably try to relocate I even if I wasn't renting I feel like I would try to move yeah that that would drive me crazy honestly I luckily have like really really good neighbors but like it is interesting how like you could literally buy a house without knowing who you're gonna live next to yeah like and you're locked in then like that is a crazy concept I'm surprised like I don't know I feel like there should be I feel like there should be like an interview process be like hey are we all gonna are we all gonna jive here I haven't even thought about that but if you're buying a house like if you bought your house unknowingly in a neighborhood that was the opposite political party is you and then everyone kind of like turns against you and you're this odd man out everyone has those long signs and you're just like I don't belong here scary yeah yeah we had we had one sign on the corner and the guy got real fucking crazy and luckily he's not my neighbor because i'd have a hard time with him but um he literally was on the corner and had all these like crazy political signs that i do not align with he was very clearly a trump supporter and people were messing with his signs so much because like that's not my neighborhood and he literally had to install a camera on the street sign pointing at all of his political signs and then my other neighbor across from him put up like kindness signs and like love signs and a love garden and like was combating all that negative energy so it was like just a battle between the two of them it felt like and battle between the signs yeah it was it was interesting to watch.

1:45:35And I really appreciated my neighbor with the kindness garden. But this last one, okay? Me too. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Suggesting My Seven-Year-Old Name His New Stuffed Tiger Tig Bitties? Okay. Pretty much the title. My son won a stuffed tiger at the fair last night and said he had named him Tig. He asked me what its last name should be. I couldn't help myself and just instantly replied, biddies. Then I turned to my wife to share a smirk, but she was pissed and quickly suggested a few different last names. But my son insisted that he liked biddies. So now his tiger is Tig Biddies. My wife thinks it was completely inappropriate.

1:46:26I think it was a silly joke that went over his head and will have no negative ramifications. Am I the asshole? See, I would be the stick in the wife. Oh, wait. Stick in the wife? Stick in the mud wife. And I'd be pissed. I would be so mad. I mean, imagine this kid bringing it to show and tell. Hey, this is my tiger, tig, bitties. I would be so pissed. It is a really good story to tell down the road. Yeah. Like it's funny on the outside, but I could just see myself being in these shoes and my husband looking over at me with a smirk and me just like Arthur fisting like are you kidding me yeah like can you be appropriate for a second in front of our child like our impressionable child our seven-year-old yeah so what do you think asshole not the asshole I mean like I said if I I would be in I would be mad too but like at the same time it's not that deep.

1:47:23Yeah. Overall verdict, not the asshole. Top comment, not the asshole. Inappropriate? Yes. Still funny? Also yes. Not the asshole. You jokingly suggested a name. It's not your fault your son happened to like it. There will probably be no ramifications, but you and your wife can probably convince him to change the name if she dislikes it that much. Just think of a new last name and tell him in a really excited way that you just thought of an even better last name and I bet he'd really go with it and change it no I think he's set once he saw the resistance I think he was like I need it this yeah kids are so funny for the rest of his life that's gonna be his emotional support teddy that uh-huh yeah oh my god I want more stories like this from you guys that are parents out there like what's the craziest thing you've convinced your kid of oh i would love that what's like something you've like openly talked about with your partner that's like gone over their head i feel like i traumatized my nephew when i was home in minnesota last week we went out for justin's birthday and my sister-in-law asked me like oh my god like i i heard about your friend that's in you know in mexico in prison oh my god forgot about that it's a whole thing you guys um one of my friends from high school bad bad bad and my little nephew Emmett like heard and he's like prison Mexico and like the whole time was like why is she in prison in Mexico and me and Amy were like drugs this is why you don't do drugs you can't do drugs that's a learning lesson then well then he goes what are drugs and then we're like learning lesson a little too soon yeah and it's like how do you explain what drugs are to a kid it turned into a whole thing i think you guys handled it pretty well it was chaos chaos and so every time i see him he's like mexican prison oh my god no i know no i know so i dug myself a hole with that but i would love to know what you guys have gotten over your kids heads or any crazy stories or names like take biddies or for those who are not parents like myself share a story about things you thought or that you really picked up on when you were a kid because when I was a kid I thought that when you ate that it went down to your feet and then filled up up to your knees and like you got full when it was like up to like your head like I But I don't know how.

1:50:05Actually, no, no, no. I wouldn't say head. I think that I thought it went up to here. Because you could feel it. Yeah. When you were really full. Yeah. I had my uncle scare me really bad when I was little. And he told me if you eat watermelon seeds, one will grow inside of you. Oh, I totally was afraid of that as well. Ugh. Yeah. That traumatized me. I wonder why they did that to us. Was it like, was it because it was bad to eat the watermelon seeds? No, no. A lot of them you can eat. Well, I thought maybe it's like harsh on a little kid's stomach. I don't know. I feel like a lot of times adults just like fucking with little kids.

1:50:36They were just messing with us. Wow. It's kind of mean. It's kind of messed up. What else did I believe? There's other things that were stupid. Like my sister was eating frosting out of a jar and told me it was her medicine. Chocolate frosting. That's why I couldn't have any. And I was like, yeah, that tracks. You need the meds. You need help. Just kidding. Shoe fits. No, I'm kidding. But tell us in the comments. I'm excited to read them. I love reading all your comments. I love hearing your takes, even if they're different. It's like really cool having conversations in the comments and being like, oh, my God, I didn't think of it from that way.

1:51:08Or I totally miss that detail. Like sometimes people will be like, I didn't even touch on blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, oh, my God, that totally went over my head. Yeah. Thanks for pointing it out. Cool. Yeah. No, I know. I like whenever I see a conversation happening about something that we did miss, but it's like not an angry conversation. Say it in a nice way. Yeah. It's just like, for example, when we forgot about the aspect of what he said with his wife in one of those stories, and we were like, oh, that's right. He said he didn't even care if his wife found him attractive. So it's like I like when I come across stuff like that that you guys bring up.

1:51:46I think it's kind of fun to be like, that's right. yeah when you point out like what sticks with you about each story because like i read it and like that line like gripped me yeah but then you read it and you're like oh no it wasn't even that line it was this line you're like oh my god wow what was that voice you're right my vocal voice actress after that line i'm like losing my voice right now it was like hot like you just turned yourself into like a sexy like 40 year old woman i don't know i'm gonna have to play that back but on that note head over to patreon i'm continuing with the direct caterpillar 77 theme because there's a lot of other good ones a lot have updates and it'll be me lauren and justin again so see you over there jtj wow j pow j pow it'll be good there's a lot of free content too so come over join us just be a part of the community we're rolling out some really fun new stuff over there very soon um i'm working with patreon starting to work out their new quips program and like a new change they're rolling out so it's a lot of fun so come on over all of the quips and everything i'm doing with them will be totally free and i'd love to have you guys so see you soon see you over there wait one last thing oh i thought that there was gonna be nothing i could grab onto to bring up taylor swift but then you gave me a sourdough story is she a sourdough girly oh my god have you not heard No.

1:53:17Yes. She's she on the podcast said that she's been making sourdough left and right. But a lot of people think that it's an Easter egg for the fact that she's going to perform at the Super Bowl because their mascot is sourdough. Sam. There we go. 49ers is the host this year. Yeah. San Francisco. And I think she's doing both. I think she's baking bread. Honestly, she's her. Yeah. Her perform in the Super Bowl. Her being the Super Bowl performer would make complete sense. It would be awesome. It should be no one else, honestly. Absolutely zero people would be able to afford those tickets to the Super Bowl that year, given how expensive it already is.

1:53:54But you know what? I'm going to be watching it from TV, so I don't care. Honestly, I've heard the sound is better from the TV, so hey, I'm down. Yeah. Unless my Vikings are in it, then I will be selling a kidney. I will be going one way or another. Wow. I didn't realize it was that level, but yeah. Justin will make out with whoever he has to make out with to get us there. Justin's going to hold the sign of that guy I saw in downtown LA. $10 will lick your dirty pussy. Just kidding. No. No. Okay. We got to go. We got to go. Until next time, guys. Until next time. Bye. Bye.

1:55:03We'll be right back.

1:55:13are back for a brand new season. We play medical doctors who are besties. Just like in real life. And we'll definitely be up in each other's cases. Scrubs premieres Wednesday on ABC. And stream the next day on Hulu. Side effects may include laughing, cheering, and lots of high fives. Hello, Superman. Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall.

1:55:57Find fall your way at Ross.