238: Wedding Blues..

30:58I don't fucking care. Like nothing has been set in stone. Like they should be willing to work with you and you should be able to get a different dress. You can't block the charge. That's not going to work, but continue. I don't know. Put a freeze on that card, Get new numbers, report it stolen. Don't do any of that. That's really bad. But let me just share my experience, okay? So my advice to anyone getting married that wants to wear a dress, do not say yes to the dress until you go to at least four different places to try on dresses. Four. Has to be four. How many dresses at each? I literally try on as many as you can at each appointment.

31:43I went to my very first appointment. I went to Kleinfeld's. I felt very, very, very pressured there. It is very sales, sales, sales. Let me sell you. I told them my budget. I said my budget was $5 ,000. Every single dress I got put in was in at least the$8 ,000 to$12 ,000 range. Like they just kept putting me in dresses that like were out of my range. And I only tried on four dresses. So when I found one that was like slightly made me feel good and not frumpy and gross, I was like, oh, yeah, this is good. OK, I'll get this one. I left that appointment and immediately was like, I don't know if I like it.

32:18I had this same experience. I was like, I don't know if I like it. My mom got food poisoning. She couldn't make it to the appointment. I was like, I refused to say yes to the dress because I couldn't do it without my mom there. I just like I had so many doubts and didn't feel good. Then I went to la and I went to a salon out here jackson james who has a lot of like really great Like dresses great selections I found a dress that I I you know, I really liked the material. I really liked the dress, but I just wanted some changes to it so We customized some options I thought that dress was going to be like great.

32:52Like this was Perfect solution for everything. We were going to make a bolero. We're going to do this. We're gonna do that I got the dress back and the designer like totally forgot their design. Like this dress was botched. The bridal salon admitted it. My consultant admitted it. Everyone admitted it. Like the designer did not follow their own designs at all. So then you have to like fight with this person, this designer to like remake the dress, get the dress right. And Jackson James was like really good about going to bat and like getting the dress fixed for me. The designer had to pay someone here like to fix it.

33:29That ended up being the dress I wore for a majority of the night because I did feel more comfortable in it. But I really didn't love either dress I wore, especially not the one I wore for the ceremony because it came with sleeves and Kleinfeld's didn't do the sleeves right. So I couldn't get them to stay up on my arm. The sleeves kept falling down. It just wasn't comfortable. Was it beautiful? Yeah. I'm sure you guys will see the pictures and you'd be like, Morgan, you're crazy. It's a beautiful dress. But it just wasn't what I wanted. And I, I realize now in hindsight, like everyone's like, oh, you're probably going to go with something you never thought you'd go with or like, try on dresses that are outside of your style, which I do recommend doing.

34:14But also make sure you're trying on stuff that is you. Like, I should have gone with an off the shoulder dress. And I didn't, I like didn't trust my gut. And I just, it does not take away from our day. Like you do not have any stress over it, but I just wish the ceremony dress would have been good. And why did I not wear the second one the whole day? Well, because I didn't want my money to go to waste. So I wore them both. And you know, Hey, maybe that's a mistake. Like I still had the most amazing magical day, but all of this to just say, make sure you go and try on dresses everywhere, as many as you can.

34:56Some of my favorite appointments where I had the best experience was actually at Anthropologie. Their wedding dresses are amazing. They're super budget friendly and they have like similar styles to a lot of the big designers out there that you see on Instagram and stuff. So I really appreciated that. Did you find it was more helpful to not commit to anything during an appointment and really look at the videos and pictures after to see how you felt about it? Yeah, 100 percent. Because at Anthropologie, there was one dress where I was like, oh, my God, I really like it. And my mom was like, are you going to say yes?

35:32Is this the one? And I was like, I just I don't know. I went back. I looked at all the pictures, the video, and I was like, that is not my dress. So you need a good picture and video taker along with you that actually takes the right angle. That shows what it's actually going to look like. Yeah. Don't feel bad about like being the weird person getting pictures and videos. Like that is the time to do it. Like don't feel self-conscious about it or getting in anyone's way or being cheesy. Even at Kleinfeld's where everyone's, you know, parts are out. Oh my God. At Kleinfeld's? I did not see this.

36:13This is through hearing it. No, I think I showed you that dress because it wasn't the one. Yes, but you were saying how there's people sitting there and literally can see everyone. You guys, if I put a picture of this dress on the YouTube right now, it would get taken down for nudity. Like it was sheer. There was no lining to this dress and they do that because you can add lining, but it doesn't come with lining. It's this whole thing. I'm walking out and my areolas are out and there's people's grandpas and dads and everyone in the fucking room they should have a lining for this dress like it was insane I'm just like oh my god trying on dresses is an experience tell you that maybe if you do a bunch of these uh fittings all around you'll just get used to it I know just won't even bother you I know well and like we One thing I do love about our wedding is like we did not take that many pictures.

37:07We like were so present in our day. So I think with one of the dresses that I got from Ukraine, got it from like an Instagram company from Ukraine. And it was like the cheapest, most beautiful dress, but I didn't wear it. I want to do like a styled shoot. So I would say like be more present in your day versus trying to get the perfect photos. Well, a lot of the photos would be candid, which is awesome. That's kind of what we said. We knocked out the family photos basically as an assembly line. You in, out, you come in, this side, out, parents, in, out. It was just like boom, boom, boom. We knocked it out.

37:48Our photographer and videographer were amazing. Amazing. That's a great way to do it. And don't let other people interfere and say, oh, what about one with blah, blah, blah, blah? What about? Nope. We have our list. We're set. Go. Yeah. It worked. It did work. Okay. Enough about the dress. We're getting tangential. We're getting tangential. Sorry. Top comment on this dress one. Has since been deleted. Lame. But OP did respond to it. So it was a good response, but OP was like, I hadn't thought of that. The dress in my size hasn't come in yet. So there's always a chance that when it's actually altered to fit my body, then I'll love it again.

38:26I was unable to return it due to the store's policy. Should have canceled the card. No, you're gonna ruin your credit looking at the pictures. It's just not what i'm envisioning while i'm walking down the aisle However, it gave me such an emotional response when I tried it on. I had to have felt some way about it I'm, not sure i'm just so torn right now Yeah, but you can be caught in the moment, right? You can be excited to be a bride and oh my god, it's all coming together I'm choosing my dress i've been looking forward to this day since I was a kid That might all be floating through your head and you might just be like, I love it.

39:00I love it because you're just kind of trying to Go through the process of it all Exactly that. Yeah And it's like don't put that pressure on yourself You got time don't do it. I've talked to so many brides and like I think something i've experienced that a lot of people Have agreed with me on is like I'm, just not someone that looks good in a wedding dress I think a lot of people I talked to Were like I was like I don't know What it is about the dresses like I kept trying them on And like they didn't really look that great on me I don't know There was one dress I tried on And it is the dress I probably should have gone with But I didn't do it And I don't know it's a Kim Kassah Beautiful dress But that's the one that I'm like Damn that one didn't look good I think you're a damn good looking bride Okay thank you A really cute bride Cute?

39:51Yeah Oh All the above All the above You're gonna make me cry But Well we can read our vows They were some kick ass vows Someone does say This happened to me too And I really wish I would have taken my time And shopped around more The dress was non-refundable And I can't afford to buy a new one now I'm getting married next month And decided that I just have to make the best of it Which is also true Because it's also not the end of the day The dress doesn't make or break the day it's your day and really what is the day about it's not about the dress not about the suit it's about who's there and it's about what you're there for yeah i will read this one last comment before moving on because i really do like it yeah this person goes this happened to me check my two posts i actually hated it the photos i had taken were not flattering it was not in my size too small.

40:46I called the store and went back to try it on again. Fell in love with it all over again. Delete the pictures. Wow. Which solid advice. And I will say like another tip when you go try on dresses, like don't go with your hair being greasy and having a bad hair day. Wear a little bit of makeup or if like you don't wear makeup, then don't do that. But like if you are someone that wears makeup, go with a little bit of a face on because that can also throw you off. But if you go straight out of bed, your hair is a mess and you have no makeup on and you love the dress. Then you'll really love it all dolled up.

41:26Then damn, you're going to be set. Exactly. Okay, moving along. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is eight months old now. I've been saving it for quite some time. Titled, Am I the Asshole for Cutting Off the Mic during the father of the bride's speech at my friend's wedding. Probably not. Probably not. So I, 31 female, was recently a bridesmaid at my best friend's, let's call her Sarah, wedding. It was supposed to be an amazing day, but things went completely off the rails during the reception. And now I'm at the center of the drama. Sarah and her husband are not religious. They made it very clear that they wanted a secular wedding.

42:15No prayers, no religious speeches, just a fun, drama-free day. Everyone seemed to respect that, except her father. During the reception, it was time for speeches. Her dad gets up, takes the mic, and at first, it's all sweet, talking about how proud he is of Sarah, how beautiful she looks, etc. But then, out of nowhere, he shifts gears and starts talking about how a marriage isn't real unless it's blessed by God. I see Sarah's face freeze. Her new husband, who was raised in a completely different religion, looks super uncomfortable, but her dad keeps going. It turns into a full-on sermon. He starts talking about how he, quote, prays they find their way to Christ and even says, quote, a marriage without God is doomed to fail.

43:13Nice. The whole room goes tense. Sarah is staring at me, looking mortified. I know she doesn't want a scene, but I also know she does not want this moment at her wedding. So I made a split second decision. I went over to the DJ and signaled him to cut the mic. The speakers go silent. Her dad looks furious. He tries to keep talking, but obviously no one can hear him. Finally, someone from the catering staff gently takes the mic away and he storms off. The catering. Now Sarah secretly thanked me later, but the fallout has been insane. her dad is livid saying i humiliated him her mom is saying i ruined the wedding and that i had no right to interfere even some guests think i was out of line but i don't know wasn't it more out of line for him to hijack his daughter's wedding like that am i the asshole for cutting off the mic or should i have just let it happen no you did exactly what had to be done Honestly Round of applause baby You know Maybe could have been done a little earlier But Wow To step up and actually do that In the middle of speeches Because in the middle of speech I mean you hear Someone set their fork down Like I know You notice if anything's different So to stand up Because you recognize the look And you knew exactly that What was happening That they didn't want this And it wasn't it wasn't just a like, hey, he's clearly religious.

44:58And during his speech, he's like, you know, may God bless your marriage. I love you both. Congratulations. Yeah. This was almost shaming them. Yeah. Shaming them and implying that their marriage is doomed to fail if they don't find their way to Christ. Like, yeah, that is not the time or the place. Well, because this story isn't about religion. This story is about a couple setting their very clear wishes for their day and those wishes not being respected. And I think that's the theme with any problem at a wedding. It's here's what we want. And then someone goes against that. But when that person then gets cut off or somehow is not, I can't see him feeling ashamed, but when that person has to face the fact that someone shut the mic off or whatever, then they turn it around and say, like, then it's them against you.

46:08He's got a scapegoat now. He's got a scapegoat that he can point at where it's like, I didn't ruin the wedding with my speech. I didn't make everyone uncomfortable. It was embarrassing because I got cut off. Your friend had no right to do that. No, your friend's a real friend. That is a real ride or die. I mean, it was clear the vibes were not good. The bride was tense, looking mortified. And so, like, I think you handled it the best way you could. Like your friend came up to you and thanked you. Yeah. So not the asshole. Bottom line. Bride was happy. Groom was probably really happy. So does it matter if the dad is humiliated?

46:51No. He caused his own scene. Not his day. The mom saying you ruined the wedding. You had no right to interfere. I mean, your bridesmaid. Of course she's going to say that. You're involved in the wedding. You're the wedding party. So, I mean, you acted accordingly. if the bride wanted her dad to go on the bride could have then said hey dj can you turn the mic back on dad continue your speech if the bride would have wanted that to continue sure she would have made it happen it was clearly a blessing no one else interfered to get him talking again so there's your answer it was well received yeah so there you go and you op i wouldn't care what these people think about you.

47:33No. You probably don't see your friend's parents that much. And if you did, well, you won't anymore. And that sounds like a win. Well, and you're there for your friend. Yeah. So you were loyal to the person that you were there for, which is good. And now, honestly, as the bride and groom, I would sit down with the dad and say, cut this shit out. Yeah. They did exactly what I wanted. They saw the look on my face. You could even say that you kind of whispered to them and say, hey, shut him down. I know. I mean, really, you got to make it clear that your friend had your back and your dad did completely like the complete opposite.

48:17Yeah. And make this an issue with him directly, because I don't know how many events after a wedding that this could repeat itself or whatever, but you need to set it straight that no, you completely went against what we wanted. You are the one that caused, if we want to say that this ruined the wedding day, you are the one that did that. Yeah, I mean, it's hard. And we had people pull audibles and give speeches that we were not expecting at our wedding. but yes it's hard it's this is so blatant this is a bit different i i guess like i just don't know i think it's kind of one of those things where like i'm all for like communication and confronting it and stuff like that but as you said like there's probably not going to be a lot of other circumstances where he's going to give speeches like this this would probably be one where if he keeps bringing it up.

49:16Obviously you have to address, but I'd let sleeping dogs lie. Like for our wedding, my mom and my dad gave a speech. Like my dad, Jerry, who you guys all know, he bought a bottle of wine shortly after I was born and it's been sitting in a cellar waiting to be opened on my wedding day. So we opened it on our wedding day and tried this wine and my dad like gave this speech to like talk about that. And it was beautiful. Then my mom was up there, you know, standing with him. Which he did well though, because it was just about that. That was great. And that's what we had talked about. We loved that.

49:50Then my mom got the mic because she was up there and she had like also called up my bio dad with her, which I didn't want. And so that was an audible. And then like she gave the speech and kind of like just went off the rails and said stuff I wasn't expecting. And then like my bio dad got the mic and said stuff that like was not expecting. And so it's just like when you have stuff that pops up like that, that you're not expecting, it's extremely stressful in the moment. And you're like, I'm like literally like. Well, you looked over at me and you're like. But it was fine. Like other people thought it was beautiful.

50:31Would anyone else notice? No. It was fine. Did I notice? Yeah. But then you get into a territory where like you almost want people to know, like, no, that was unplanned. Yeah. Like, cause then I wouldn't have had that go down. Right. But then you kind of look towards my parents and you're like, Hey parents, like that was not planned because if we had planned for them to say something, then maybe my parents would have said a quick little word if that had been planned, but it wasn't. So it's not like we left my parents out. It's that was just not part of it. Well, and like who does speeches at weddings is totally up to the couple.

51:07Like the groom's parents usually do the rehearsal dinner, bride's parents do the wedding. So it's like, that is what it is. But it is very stressful when you have audibles happen for your speeches. And then how many can you have before? Because we've all been at those weddings. We honestly were bordering on too many speeches. Yeah, but we... They were beautiful. They were so good. Our brides... Our planned speeches were the best speeches I've ever heard. And I know we're biased because it was like involving us since our people. but I gotta say I don't think I've ever heard better written ones than those seriously they're beautiful your best woman Josie I'm like I forget what you were calling her best woman she stood on my side so I'm like she was one of my bridesmaids but like also your best woman best woman yeah her speech was great I had two maid of honors Lauren and Alejandra their speeches were great it was beautiful it really was beautiful but this can be stressful Yes.

52:05OP, not the asshole. Top comment on this one. Bestie for life. Guests, especially people close to the couple, who don't respect the couple's requests, can kick rocks. My cousin got married to someone religious. Our entire extended family is from a different culture and none of us practice any religion, but out of respect for his family, we bowed our heads and listened to the pastor bless them. It was their day, not any of ours. The mom and dad are complete assholes. I agree. I agree with that. We have no update on this one. Account has been deleted by the person that posted. So that's all she wrote, friends.

52:52No more deleting counts, you know? I don't know what it is with people deleting things lately. It's very frustrating. But moving along to this next one. Yes. This episode is brought to you by Talkiatry. When your mental health is suffering, finding the right treatment can be overwhelming. That's where Talkiatry comes in. Talkiatry is an online psychiatry practice with licensed psychiatrists who can evaluate, diagnose, and provide ongoing medication management when appropriate. They accept major insurers, can treat anxiety, ADHD, depression, and more, and you can schedule your first visit in days, not months.

53:30Go to takiatry.com slash hot takes to get matched in minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y dot com slash hot takes. Takiatry.com slash hot takes. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Okay, real talk. To-do lists are unhinged, and the stuff that actually gets done, always the stuff you had help with. Flat pack furniture, meal prep, things that are just better with another person. Now, State Farm can't help with the sofa or Sunday cooking, but when it comes to helping find the right coverage for you, they're on it. You can talk to one of their 19 ,000 local agents in person over the phone through their easily accessible app or at statefarm.com.

54:14Whatever works for you. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. okay so this one is coming from r slash stories four days old it's titled i scammed my husband into liking me and i admitted it on our wedding day admitted it in my vows actually in front of all of our guests for me it was love at first sight for my now husband not so much for him I was his little sister's friend with braces and constant teen girl giggling. He was the older, much, much hotter, couldn't care less older brother upstairs. I obviously had no shot. Later, we met again through mutual friends, now both older, no headgear.

55:02I was just as in love, he was still just as cute, and this time I actually had a chance. I wasn't going to blow it. I invited him to crash at my place after a friend's birthday party and dot dot dot dot. I had staged the place. I had casually left out a t-shirt of his favorite football team, you know, just tossed on the back of the chair. Oops, how did that get there? I left a CD of his favorite band on my nightstand because obviously that's what any casual fan does. I love them too, duh I had his favorite beer in the fridge Yes, I 100 ,000 % drink this beer too It doesn't taste like piss water to me at all No Was I a complete weirdo for doing this?

55:53Yes Did it work perfectly? Also yes It also made for perfect wedding vows His sister, a bridesmaid was only a little annoyed to find out I was using our hangouts as study sessions on her older brother. Just kidding. She thought it was hilarious and knew all her friends thought he was cute, obviously. That's it? That's the post. Wow, what an ending. That just felt like, boom, it's done. And the way you're reading that just felt like I was waiting for the next sentence. That's all she wrote. Okay. Yeah, I feel like I had a similar experience. I didn't really stage anything. No. But I also feel like I definitely worked very hard to win you over.

56:42And, you know, this one, it's not weird or anything. I love it because, yeah, you may have staged some things that were not super true. but at the end of the day you guys ended up together and I don't think knowing this he would be like oh well the whole relationship's a sham it's built on a crappy foundation it just was the initial thing to get his attention and then your relationship if it was gonna work or fail it would have worked or failed it's not because of this and I feel like ours is similar in the sense that But at first, I was all in. And this is part of my vows. I left that bar that day and I said, I'm going to marry this girl.

57:28And then I did. But at first, it was a lot of really doing everything I could to win you over. And even when I thought I had won you over, it was still not there. I still wasn't there. so just it's a similar journey yeah but like it doesn't take away from the strength of your relationship or how far you've come and all of that it's just more of a And you know, it's perfect. I use it in my vows too. It's a perfect full circle. And I do think like, I really do agree with you where you're like, yeah, it was more of like an entryway to get in. But then they still had to like have that chemistry and work out to get to the next step.

58:14Yeah, you're not going to get married to someone because of the beer, the band and the, you know. So it's like as long as she didn't totally completely change who she was to get him to fall for her. Right. Then I'm like, okay, cute. but I do think people might be split 50 50 on this one. I think half the people listening could be like, Oh my God, that's so cute. Like kind of a, a young immature thing to do, like being the cool girl. And yeah, this is my favorite band too. Ha ha. And then there's the other half of the people that are going to be like, no, that's actually really creepy and manipulative.

58:48I don't know. Maybe at first, but then again, that doesn't have any, you know, weight of the relationship now. It's just a funny story. I know. I know. I think it's cute. I do think it's cute. It seems like very lighthearted and just like, haha, like a cheeky little thing. And I think that is adorable. Like, I don't know. I think I can relate to like having a crush on like a friend's brother or like this kid that lives in my neighborhood and I'm going to walk my dog in front of his house just in the off chance he's outside and notices me. Like we all kind of do that weird shit when we're younger and trying to get someone to notice us and like us.

59:30So I'm like, hey, that's fine. It does remind me of a story we had though. And maybe you guys can let me know which one this is. I feel like it was either an episode with Lauren or Alejandra. And it was a story about this woman who had like seriously changed herself and manipulated her husband into falling for her. And then she admitted it to him and he like immediately like got so creeped out. He started divorcing her. Which is crazy to be able to keep that up. Yeah, I'm forgetting. Because he would find out she's not the biggest fan of that band or that team really quick and that she doesn't drink that beer the second he pours them both a beer and she's like, ugh, and can't finish it, you know?

1:00:19But what I do love, I'm gonna interject really quick. What I do love about this though, is going forward, you can now use these things, which maybe it's happened, but you buy a case of that beer every once in a while and just have it stocked in the fridge for him, just as kind of a throwback to the joke of the start of everything. You buy tickets to the game to go see that team or you buy tickets to that concert when that band's in town, you keep it going almost as like a nod back to your beginnings, even though it was kind of faked. I just think, I don't know. I like it. No, okay. So the story, I found the story.

1:01:00It is titled, I stalked my husband for two years before I formally met him. Yeah, that's totally different. And it was just like really, really crazy. And it was like, I saw him at a park. I found his Instagram, found his social media. I also found where he lived since my brother offered to walk him home while I tagged along. When I got home that day, I knew I wanted him. But of course, I was only 14 while he was 18. So I came up with a plan. And then she like admitted this to all of him. And then he went nuts, which, justifiably. So where do you think the comments went on this post? I don't know.

1:01:39I know where I sit, so I'm not worried about it. So comments right now are sorted with controversial being up top, which is the default for this subreddit. And this comment says, it would be disgusting if you don't actually like any of those things. If you do, though, and not just because he does, then you've done nothing gross. It's definitely gross and shameful if you don't actually like that stuff on your own. Relationships built on lies always die. it isn't built on that though that was just the start that was probably the first date it does have it doesn't negative 90 down voice yeah because it's like it's not literally built on that if your relationships built on a like for a band a team and a beer what i mean there's got to be more depth otherwise what's there come on i'm not it's not like oh we're all vikings fans so we all should be married to each other because we like the Vikings.

1:02:36You need more than that. You gotta decorate. You gotta travel. There's a whole bunch of shit you gotta do together. I mean, people did not find this that cute I'm gathering from the comments. Someone else goes, quote, I'm not a creepy stalker, end quote. No, you are. I think people are just jealous of people that actually find real love. Everyone typing these comments is at home single and can't find a date. So they're like, you found them the wrong way. If he knows about it, which he obviously does, and he, if he had a problem with it, he could leave. Doesn't seem like he has a problem with it.

1:03:15He got married. He heard the vows probably before they said, I do. He had a chance. He could have left. He probably knew it a long time beforehand. He is the one that should choose if he wants to leave because of that. Not all you type in your comments. It doesn't matter what you think. So OP does have an edit. Edit to the people who think this is weird. One, I already owned the shirt, local school, my dad's shirt, and CD because I genuinely liked them. I just made sure they were visible. Two, I don't care. I'm into my husband. Sue me. Exactly. Final edit. Live your own life. Wow. I guess I should have expected Reddit to be a hellscape, but not like this.

1:04:02The fact that some of you are genuinely DMing me to harm myself because dot dot dot I laid out a shirt for a local college team. My husband and I have been together for many years now. He was not tricked into anything, you freaks. He's seen this post in the comments and is just as confused as I am at how shitty you guys are being. Stop being miserable fucks on the internet and find some happiness. Literally. For those that have been kind, my husband and I, thank you. Yeah. I mean, people admit like cute, crazy things in their vows and speeches. Like our videographer, actually, I found them, him, it's Josh, and his wife is Mare, and they have like a videography, photography duo.

1:04:51Amazing. amazing people. But I found them because Josh posted a clip from one of his weddings and the groomsman or best man was giving a speech. And in his speech, he was like, you know, Rachel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, used to look at me that way. But you know, when she started looking at Chris, I knew that Rachel really had met her soulmate. The only problem was Rachel was dating me at the time that was his best man speech like people can joke and kid and like not be so serious and it's like yeah I mean he obviously knows all these things and like it's not a big deal it's not goofy but that other story we read and I I'll find what episode it is and tag it in the description for you guys if you want to go back and watch it that person stalked him for two years.

1:05:46Like that's different than you have a crush on your friend's older brother. Ha ha. Yeah. The other one feels like a crime. This does not. Yeah. God, people are nuts. Don't take things on the internet so seriously sometimes maybe? Moral of the story with that one? Yeah. Live your own life. The keyboard warriors came out. Do something with your time. Please. Yeah, it is interesting. I mean, just looking at some of OP's comments, people really went down the rabbit hole, assuming things, speculating, and did kind of take a funny story way out of context. And they're implying like, oh, you're a bad friend because you didn't even tell his sister that you were dating her brother and you were just using her to get close to the brother.

1:06:37And OP is like, his sister knew we were hanging out and talking. We're in this post. Did it say I didn't tell her first. She's one of my best friends. She was also a bridesmaid and couldn't have been happier. There's literally no issues. They're happily together married. There's no problems with the sister. They're all fine. No. What is the issue, people? I don't know. This is goofy to me. This is really goofy. People need to evaluate if they're leaving negative comments on that one. But again, people have their opinions, I guess. Go find your own love. Go find your own love Yeah Don't try to take other people's love down That's what it feels like I mean out of Vows I've seen online Those sound cute I saw one person's vows that went viral Where this guy was like Promising to come inside her like a toaster strudel Or like He said something where he's like I love the way you drain my balls That was his vows in front of all of their family, friends, and, like, their kid.

1:07:43Well, that's a good pick, huh? That's crazy. You just want to, like, take a little cattle prod to him, like, zap him. No, he'll fill on his own. Moving along. Please. So this one is coming from r slash wedding planning. It's two years old. And this is something that is a very, very big fear for a lot of brides. Okay. Okay. Before we get into this story, I just want to let you know that it is brought to you guys by Ollie, and you'll see why in a second. Ollie knows that feeling hormonal is totally normal, but sometimes PMS is just not something you want to deal with, especially on your wedding day.

1:08:31That's where Period Hero comes in. It's designed to support PMS symptoms like bloating, mood swings, and breast tenderness. We're dealing with a lot on our wedding days, and the last thing you want to do is be ready to bite your partner's head off, feeling like you're in pain, bloated. So, Ollie, period hero. And it plays into this next one. Okay. It is titled, Despite my best efforts, I will be on my period on my wedding day. I did everything I could. My fiance and I talked about it, and we agreed that if we could pick a date where I could not be on my period, that it would be better. This wasn't solely for the obvious honeymoon-related activities.

1:09:15I have pretty heavy periods. My dress is A-line. I'm not worried about bleeding on the dress. I am terrified, though, that I'm going to look bloated in the pictures, be irritable the whole day, feel sweaty and gross, and just all around not enjoy the day and the first couple or so days of the honeymoon. Originally, when picking a date, I checked my app, which I've used since 2021. I have a pretty regular cycle. The original projection for my cycle and period was the last week of June, ovulation first week of July, and to be clear, for July 12th, which is our wedding date. Wouldn't start again until the week we got back from our honeymoon.

1:09:53When I logged my current period, which started yesterday, it updated predictions and moved my period a whole two weeks, putting it as the last fifth day being on July 12th. I don't understand because this period was one day late. This wouldn't be the end of the world quite yet, as my fifth day is usually pretty light, if anything at all, but I'm still currently only spotting and haven't truly began to fully bleed yet, which makes me realize that the later it begins, the more it will be pushed back into July. I've never taken birth control, and I don't plan to. My mom had terrible side effects on multiple different brands.

1:10:31My personal preference is to refrain, so any suggestions of starting birth control won't help lol the more it gets pushed the more likely i am to be on it for the entire honeymoon feeling pretty frustrated and disappointed reassurance or comforting words question mark any help question mark this is a real thing a lot of people getting married consider and think about i i just can't uh fathom the fluctuation like that especially when something so regular. I mean, have you had that experience where one day late and it dramatically changes the entire outlook? Oh yeah. Like I updated it in my app and you see everything shift.

1:11:14And like when we check on the app, like ovulation and I'm like, oh, are we in a safe zone? And I'm like, oh, I didn't log my period. So I logged my period. And then it's like, oh no, we're actually in a danger zone. Like it can really, it can really change. Right. But with how much that changed just based on one day, how locked in is it that it's actually even going to happen that that fifth day is going to line up with the wedding? I mean, is it all kind of up in the air? Yeah, it is. Especially considering stress can totally change your cycle. Like if you're that stressed, you could be late.

1:11:51So I guess like for her and like any bride out there, because I was worried about this, like I got lucky. I started, I started my period literally like the last day of our honeymoon and it just timed up really, really well. but I was worried about this like feeling bloated being crabby like when I'm getting my period I'm extra emotional I'm mean I'm crabby I'm not happy like I feel like I have that kind of insane PMS like the really heightened version of it so this period hero I'm gonna try this like this is probably gonna be my new best friend so I don't bite your head off around shark week I need this But for any bride out there, like it could fluctuate.

1:12:37It could be bad. It could not come at all. You don't know. So I guess like it might be comforting for a lot of people to have something like this Ollie product, period hero on deck at, you know, in your emergency kit, just in case you do have your period. Yeah, for sure. I mean, what other methods are there? Like if it's going to be inevitable, it's happening on that day. And that's just nature's course, right? Yeah. What other things can you do? Is this kind of a new step in a new whole category here? Because, I don't know, ice packs, you use a heat pad every once in a while. Oh, when it's real bad, yeah.

1:13:23But what else really is there that you can do to at least make it the best possible it can be for that day? Period hero. Yeah, no, that's what I mean. Like what else really is there? There's not a lot out there. I mean, that's the one thing about women's health. It's like it's kind of overlooked. Like women were not a part of studies for so long because our hormones would negatively impact the studies on drugs. Like they didn't even test car seatbelts on women crash test dummies until recent years. Like there's a whole book on it. So the fact that Ollie is like focused on women's health and like Period Hero isn't just the only product they have.

1:14:06Like they've got a bunch of other stuff for women. I just like I feel like it could be such like a saving grace for a lot of people out there. Like not just wedding day, but like other events too. Like it still blows my mind that women have to go to work on their periods. Like blows my mind. So to then have like something fun, like a big life event that's so fun and to have your period just like an added thing you don't want to have to worry about, especially if you get bad periods. Yeah. Like I've got friends that like go to the hospital basically every other period because their cramps are so bad and they have endo and they have all these other things.

1:14:47Like it, it's just nice knowing that there could be something out there to like help. Anything. Yeah. Like just help support your PMS. Well, as you're building up to a wedding, you're thinking, I think a biggest one is I hope the weather's what we hope. Oh my God. We were terrified about the weather. Another one I kept thinking about is I just don't want to be sick. I don't want to have that sore throat creep on the day before or the day of. I mean, how terrible of timing to get sick, which this kind of falls in that category because you can't control. You can only just react. And so, yeah, if there is a saving grace, which, you know, there are certain things you can take if you're feeling a cold, come on.

1:15:34It's like, okay, what are the emergency things? Because we've read stories about that where I woke up the morning of my wedding. It was downpouring and I started to feel like I was actually getting sick. Like, well, there's certain medication things you can kind of take. The weather, I don't know. You go inside or there's a lot of umbrellas. So, yeah, what's the plan B here? Period hero. Yeah. I also think, like, thinking about your honeymoon, too, and I know it's like, oh, it's so frustrating if you're going to, like, a beach vacation and, you know, you don't want to have to have a tampon string potentially hang out of your swimsuit.

1:16:09Been there, done that. Cut your tampon strings, not too far. You need a little tug still, a little tugboat string, but cut them. Cut them. Because no matter if you tuck them up your butt, water can push that little string out. And then the next thing you know, you're on a paddleboard with a tampon string hanging out and someone's telling you about it. So cut it. But I think like, just like try to enjoy it. Don't stress. You know, your honeymoon is about typically for a lot of people relaxing, de-stressing after the wedding. So if you do have really bad cramps and you just need to sit in the room a day, that's fine.

1:16:52Like take it as a day to cuddle and have your partner look after you and just relax the best you can. I think that's what a lot of honeymoons are all about is relaxing because that's really what you need when you get through wedding planning and you get through the day itself because I think the the day itself is amazing it's so fun but for you hope that's the goal right like if you haven't had that wedding day be what you wanted like do a mulligan do vow renewals do something get yourself a mulligan because it is so fun well either way whether it's fun or it's terrible you're gonna to need you have to recover yeah i think yes planning a honeymoon that's adventure and travel and crazy is cool but i think you need to mix in a couple of spa days or beach days in there because once you get to the other side all you want to do is relax especially if it happens to line up with shark week shark week and you know what there's always towel time and at a hotel Yeah let's talk about towel time You're not messing up your own towels at home Have we ever Toss them on the floor Yeah have we ever talked about towel time I don't know if we've ever introduced towel time on the pod Towel time's great That's the other thing Yeah like and you're at a hotel You don't have to be self conscious Hotel people they've seen it all Trust me I messed up a sheet Amsterdam I got my period in the middle of the night and it went through to the mattress pad.

1:18:28Like, also been there. I have really, really bad periods, you guys. But, like, just don't be weird about having sex on your period. Like, it's so normal. And we've had stories like that where someone is like, my husband won't touch me on my period. Like, he's scared about getting blood on him. Yeah, that was wild. Good luck. No. Like, have the fun. Obviously, you might not want to do certain activities. but like put a towel down under you we call it towel time you know when you're in the danger zone of shark week so you don't mess up your nice sheets or your mattress and just have some fun sometimes it makes it better too right yeah i've heard people you know those little puppy pads that people buy for potty training their dogs i've heard people will use the puppy pads especially if they're like big into like lube and stuff like that it's like waterproof yeah save the sheets and save the towels, I guess.

1:19:24Yeah, towel time. But doesn't it also sometimes make, you know, the negative effects of a period better? It does, dude. Temporarily? I swear. I have really, really bad cramps, and then we'll do stuff, and it's like healed. Healed. I don't know how. At least for a little, right? I don't know how. Healed. Well, who knows if that applies across the board. Oh, my God. We just shared so much info with everyone. But, hey, you know, periods are beautiful. our cycles are beautiful but everything that comes with it like the bloating mood swings breast tenderness not so beautiful and Ollie gets that whether it's period hero for PMS support or love and libido so you can get yours at two cart Ollie is wellness that shows up for women you can find these supplements and more at any national retailer or at Ollie.com O-L-L-Y.com These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

1:20:22This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Thanks, Ollie. Okay, on to this next one. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole, 13 days old. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Uninviting My Sister-in-Law from My Wedding After She Leaked My Pregnancy? Another leak. Another leak. I, 26 female, am 10 weeks pregnant. My partner, 28 Male, and I told our immediate families early but made it very clear we weren't telling anyone else until after the first trimester. Last night, my fiancé's sister, 29 Female, posted a story on Instagram. It was a get-ready-with-me for a family dinner we had last weekend.

1:21:10She then casually, indirectly, talks about becoming an auntie. She tagged me and my fiance. I saw it when I got a notification that I was tagged. I had over 50 messages from distant friends and coworkers before I could even process it. We hadn't even told our friends yet. I was totally mad, called her screaming. She tried to say it was an accident and that she forgot and she was just teasing. I told her she was uninvited from our wedding. She cried. My future in-laws are furious, saying I'm overreacting and ruining the family over a silly social media post. They say I should just be happy. People are excited.

1:22:00My fiance is on my side. Am I the asshole? No, but I don't know if it's being blown out of proportion because once the dust settles, really at the end of the day, what is the meaningful thing here? You know, I, it's tough because stuff does leak. You walk this fine line between you want to tell close families so they don't feel that they were left out. And, you know, you want to share the excitement. It's hard to keep things that are really big like that to yourself. So you want to tell your mom, you want to tell your dad, you want to, you know, and you also don't want them to get to the first trimester and hear later on.

1:22:41You know, it's not about that, but you just want your people to know. And I think when you trust people with that, there's always a risk, right? Because people slip. People tell people, don't tell anyone else. Promise me you won't. And then that, whatever. Here in this case, it was a social media thing. Maybe it was a lapse, you know, just kind of happened out of her excitement. She didn't really think about it. it doesn't feel malicious to me in the sense that she didn't say, this person's pregnant. She said, talking about becoming an aunt. But then tagged them in it. I know, I know, I know. Like, come on.

1:23:19Yeah, so I don't know where it falls in that, but I would have her at the wedding. I would make your point clear, but I wouldn't necessarily burn the bridge and blow everything up over this. Yeah. Your call. But for me, it just feels like, yeah, it sucks. But there is some validity to what the other people are saying. And like, everyone is just excited. And, you know, this isn't the way you want it to come out. But it happened. So how do we go from here? Because we're not going to go back and change it. I'm not saying don't be mad at her and not hold her accountable. Absolutely be mad. But at the same time, take a step back and really look at what's in front of you.

1:24:04Really important day and really big things coming. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it was an accident. I don't think she just forgot. I think she wanted the satisfaction of being able to break that news. That's true. She posted it in a Get Ready With Me video. She seemingly recorded it, edited it, watched it back. That's true. Still chose to post. Yeah, it's not like it's alive. Accidentally tagged them in it. no accidents. It's a pain in the ass to tag people and stuff. She knew what she was doing. She wanted to revel in the fact that she had this insider information and be the first to break it.

1:24:43And I think it's incredibly disrespectful to slip up and share someone's news when they're not ready. I agree. A lot of people don't do it out of, let me keep this to myself. We're excited. We want to just soak this up. A lot of people wait and don't share until they're out of the first trimester just in case. Sure. Yeah. Just in case. Yeah. So it's one of those things that's like incredibly disrespectful because what if things did go south? What if it didn't work out? Then they have to explain to all these people they never would have had to do that if you weren't such a dumb fucking bitch. Yes.

1:25:22So I do agree with you. I first wholeheartedly, not the asshole, take some space let this cool down don't talk to her for a little bit yeah tell your friends how you want like bring this back to being about you your fiance your baby and kind of get some of that back but yeah I agree I wouldn't burn the bridge I'd have her at the wedding I'd make the seating chart and put her as far away from you as you can you know you get a little power with that seating chart you can strategically place those people that's true so you know put her at the boring table that that other girl had on her seating chart closest to the door I mean I I joke but I ours is really tough I don't think we had a boring table no we but you just our wedding was pretty intimate with family and friends and the head table honestly if you're there you're special Yeah It's the seating If you're back by the door It's just because That's how the arrangement worked It's not any less special They thought of you And invited you And wanted you there Yes To celebrate their day They mailed an invitation Or got an invitation to you Like There's no bad table Like you are in the room Yeah But maybe just like Mess up her food order Yeah Oh she wanted chicken Oh she gets beef Oh she has a dairy allergy Oh well she gets milk Mm-hmm Top comment on this one Not the asshole not only did she go against your wishes, she also took away your joy of making that announcement yourselves.

1:26:55Not just that, but only 10 weeks. If something goes wrong, hopefully OP had a pleasant and trouble for your pregnancy, that will now be a huge list of telling a bunch of people. And if you forget someone, it's explaining over and over when someone texts how the pregnancy is going. It's really rude when they made it clear they weren't telling anyone before after trimester has passed just to put it out there. Yeah. Well, and it reminds me, I guess, of when we did our engagement and honestly, without really telling people, nobody posted anything without clearing it with us because they knew it was such a big deal for us to be able to tell.

1:27:38Yeah. So I guess, yeah, it would feel, I'm just trying to relate to it Because we haven't, you know, we haven't gotten to this stage yet. No. And so I guess the more I think about it, the more it would be hard not to just go scorched earth the second this would happen. Oh, I would. I would freak out like OP. I would feel so attacked. I would really feel attacked. I don't know why I'm not necessarily - Yeah. Maybe I'm not my sassy self tonight. Ooh. Because I was more kind of thinking from a bigger picture. But I think I would be pretty, pretty, really upset right away. And I know if like this were me and you, you would go crazy like at bat for me if I was upset over this.

1:28:32Like I know you and you wouldn't be the like pacifist in it. You'd be like, yeah, fuck her. Fuck them. Well, sure, maybe initially. But I do think I am good at coming around to look at the bigger picture and taking a step back. You do talk me off the ledges. Yeah, you're pretty good about that. But yeah, OP is not the asshole. No. Overall vote was not the asshole. 13 days old, OP has since deleted their post. Oh, I thought you were going to say account. Everyone's deleting the account. No, post has been deleted, but, um, well, it's just weird because I can still see the post, but when I go to their account, there's no posts on their account.

1:29:19Huh. Glitching. It could be glitching. Um, but I'll keep an eye on the account and see if any update gets posted. I mean, it's 13 days old. It's pretty, pretty fresh, but we're going to move on to this next one. This episode is brought to you by Chrysler. Life with kids is basically a never ending series of plot twists. One minute, everyone's buckled in. The next, someone's dropped a snack, lost a shoe, or needs a bathroom break immediately. That's why the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica is built for real life. With thoughtful features like stow-and-go seating, hands-free sliding doors, and passenger seating up to eight, it helps keep everything moving.

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1:30:34So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on credit karma for less craziness and more credit. This next one is coming from r slash wedding drama two months old titled my dad's new wife had an adult temper tantrum the whole day. So for some backstory, my dad is recently married to a woman that myself, my siblings, and many members of my dad's family do not like. She has done some very hurtful things in the past year and is very controlling of my father and his contact with us.

1:31:13Anytime she doesn't get her way, she has an outburst, and my dad takes the path of least resistance and just does what she says, even if it comes at the cost of hurting his kids. However, I decided to put all of that behind me and invite her to my wedding anyways, knowing sadly that my dad would likely not come to my wedding if she wasn't invited. I did, however, only ask that he come to the rehearsal, as it would be only about 20 people, and I didn't want any drama happening the night before the wedding. My dad agreed with that plan months ago, but then a week before the wedding called and said he wouldn't be there if she wasn't invited.

1:31:53I stood my ground and said that I would see them on the wedding day. That seemed to have set her off. She arrived in a bright red sparkly mini dress. Multiple guests were overheard asking, quote, who the stripper in the dress was, cried before the ceremony started and refused to stand as my mom and dad walked me down the aisle, sulked and disappeared for family photos, even though I was inviting her to be in them, loudly said that she, quote, didn't want to eat any of the shitty food that was being served for dinner. This comment actually got my grandma, who never says a mean thing about anyone, to tell her that, quote, if she can't be respectful, then she needs to leave.

1:32:43Got into a fight with my dad and threw her drink, kept disappearing to drink in her car, and then reappearing just to sulk and cry in the corner. Luckily, none of the events impacted my night at all. I had the best day ever, still trying to decide if and how to confront my dad about how concerning this behavior was. It's honestly just kind of hilarious. Oh, I'm glad OP has a sense of humor too. Just how absolutely pathetic some people are. Dude. And just the worst, worst just side of humanity. Just like, come on, where it can't be about anyone else but them, no matter what. Yeah. And just to have this much emotion and anger and everything over someone that's not even your kid's wedding day.

1:33:44Yeah, why are you crying and refusing to stand as OP's walking down the aisle? What did she do to you? Why? How did she hurt your life so much? You know what I mean? I mean, it's an adult kid. Like, you're coming in and marrying this guy. When all of his kids are seemingly grown, like, how does him having kids threaten or negatively impact you? I can't believe. She's crazy. just it's just unfathomable because I just can't ever imagine myself acting that way no or having that much feeling over nothing it's just this jealousy this weird competition that isn't even a competition it's just these kids want to see their dad yeah it's not like they're competing with you it's just so weird I don't get that I truly think like if you can't handle being a step-parent and you're jealous of someone's kids and you are upset that they have kids that aren't your kids, don't marry them.

1:34:50Don't be with them. If you can't handle being a step-parent, don't be one. That's your choice. Like, oh, I fell in love. Don't care. Move on. But someone is, like, it's got to be all of them. You can't just fall in love with a part of someone. Yeah. You need, if you're going to commit, they're a dad as well. Yeah. If you're going to commit and truly love someone, you need to love them and also the people around them. That's just as important because if you, I mean, we see it a lot with the people trying to, you know, get someone isolated on their own and kind of what's the term where they take them away from their friends and family.

1:35:34Isolate. Isolate and yeah. Yeah, no, it's an abuse tactic. Yeah. And that happens for sure. But if you're really genuinely there for someone and want to truly fully love them, that includes their friends, their family, everyone they consider special to them and their kids, you know, especially. So I don't know. I don't know why this is so common. I don't know why people like to play these games and think that, oh, it's my kid's wedding day, but I'm going to listen to my new crazy ass wife because I don't want to ruin things at home. So I'm going to create this problem with my kid forever. It's super weird.

1:36:18I'll never forget it. But I do find it awesome that she had the best day ever. And it's absolutely hilarious that she had the best day ever. And this woman is doing all this shit. She's miserable. she's miserable i love that i love that op really embraced the be a duck in this like didn't ruin my night i had the best day ever still and that was me and you like if you're over on patreon you will see a quip i posted but we went through some very very very similar family drama before our wedding. My dad, love him, is dating someone new and just got a little goofy. And at one point was like, I'm not coming to the wedding.

1:37:05And just like not being himself, like just being so goofy. And it's hard to know where that's coming from, whatever feeling on the feeling wheel. He wants to narrow that down. But he bucked up. He showed up. He was perfect. Went to the rehearsal dinner, went to the wedding his girlfriend did not come even though she was invited this whole thing I don't need I just all over nothing all for nothing like it's just this goofy thing and like it started out kind of in a similar way where we were really tight on rehearsal dinner numbers and I was like she's welcome to come to the wedding but like as of right now we don't have room if that changes and she's in Duluth she'll come and he threw a fit and just like blah blah blah blah blah but you know just caused us really all we ended up with is mountains of stress for the few weeks leading up to the wedding the two months leading up to the wedding I mean it was really sad it was really just like unfortunate that he was being like very dramatic in that moment but I mean she didn't end up coming and it was it was great like my dad was more present either way it was perfect what's the point paid for her meal but you know whatever we ate it the next night we did have leftovers but I just think it's it's times like that where like family can come out of the woodwork even people you don't expect like if you would have asked us before we really got into wedding planning and like all of the stuff like who's gonna create drama on your day I would not have picked my dad and so it can bring out Interesting stuff in the least likely culprits Like it's just it's very surprising You know on the day everything was awesome It was it was perfect he was great so I didn't hear about any drama No No You know people wait to tell you They're not going to tell you on your day No But they'll wait to tell you until like you're back from your honeymoon There was nothing My grandma had like a little hell scare leading up to it The week of that I found out after But other than that, there was nothing like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, got into a fight and they stormed off.

1:39:16No, I haven't heard anything either. Like nothing. Now I'm going to have to text everyone and be like, did anything happen that I missed out on? Yeah. What happened? What do you think about this person though? Like we did kind of like talk to my dad. Like we really kind of did confront him and like kind of hash through things a bit. Should this person even bother? It feels like they've been down this road many times. It just, what I took from this story is that it's built up over time. We already know exactly who the new wife is and how she thinks of them. We, you know, they mentioned how dad will just run off and take the easy route when it hurts his kids.

1:40:00So they're, they've been down this road. They know what this is and they're affected by it. it's not going to change. He's not going to change. I'm sure they've had the conversation. So at this point, I would just say, man, that's a crazy story to tell from the wedding. I had a great time. And from here on out, I don't know. If dad wants to come hang out with me, cool. But I'm not going out of my way to invite him, which basically includes her, to anything. But if he wants to work on our relationship, Great. Otherwise, I'm just going about my life, enjoying my new married life and continue forth.

1:40:43Yeah, I agree with that. And so does the top comment. Top comment says he knows what she is, but he gets to fuck a stripper in a red sparkly dress. That's all he's thinking. Don't confront him. Just let him know that when she takes all his money, he can't live with you. Oh, I like it. Next comment Sadly this is the answer This dad is thinking with the wrong brain Next comment That implies that two brains exist Where none does Yeah This comment says To quote the legendary English madam Cynthia Payne When the balls are full The brain is empty Damn Graphic Very Like Like, eh. Another constructive comment is just, I wouldn't invite this woman to any other event I promoted.

1:41:39And if my father got upset, that's his problem. Yeah, it literally is. Another one is, I'm sure he knows you had a great day. Be glad and move on. Far away from her. And honestly, like, this is your dad's circus. Let him deal with it. Like, he knows who he's married to. He can't Have had fun with that Like there's no way Like let him just revel In his misery Yeah That is them And their relationship He's choosing He's choosing You're not gonna tell him not to He's an adult He's doing what he wants Fine He's gonna do his thing But okay I've got one last one for us here And then we are Out of here Cause it's late It's time for bed We're still very jet lagged From our minimum So I feel like every Every ending like this that has to do with the wedding, because this feels like, you know, the episode after the wedding.

1:42:36Yeah. It feels like another door closing on our wedding. It just feels like it's all over and it's done forever. We are going to do a wedding theme over on Patreon. Oh. This episode is brought to you by Revolve. If you're looking at your closet right now thinking, no, none of this is working, just go to Revolve. I love that they have the brands I actually want. There's always something new and I can order a few options because the shipping is fast. And the returns are easy. Go to revolve.com slash THT to shop my faves and use code THT for 15 % off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out.

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1:43:47Plus, if you're about to send money to someone new and Cash App notices something looks a bit off or that you might be falling for a scam, it will send you a warning before the money is sent to confirm that everything looks right. Download Cash App and spend with peace of mind today. Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Visit cashapp.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Yeah. Great. So it's not over. The wedding's not over. Okay, so I'm giving you a choice on this last one.

1:44:21The other option will be going over to Patreon, okay? With me With you We're doing a full wedding theme Over there Probably gonna get A lot more tea spilled You know I gotta Gotta keep it a little Tidy over here Okay so this first option Okay Help The moms of the bride and groom Are ceasing me On their war Over the invitations Or option two My husband got jealous Over the girl he let on for years at our wedding. I think I'm gonna have to go with number two. Number two? Yeah. Okay. My husband got jealous over the girl he led on for years at our wedding. I, 25 female, got married to my now husband, 24 male.

1:45:14We'll call him Jim a week ago after dating for two and a half years. Jim has a friend called Misha, 22 female, who was invited to the wedding. He and Misha have known each other since high school and were close friends, and Misha had a very obvious crush on Jim from what he and others who know them have told me. Jim told me this after I met Misha for the first time and confessed that he leaned into her crush and led her on throughout their high school years and for a little while after, before we got together because he was struggling with his mental health and he really liked her attention. He seemed genuinely guilty about all of this because he thought Misha was a nice girl and a good friend, and because he showed guilt, I didn't feel the need to bring it up or argue about it despite thinking it was a shitty thing to do.

1:46:06Plus, Misha is a nice girl who has never overstepped boundaries and has been nothing but kind and friendly towards me, and I now consider her a friend too. Misha moved away to the city last year and has done really well for herself and has a long-term boyfriend who none of us have met yet. So when it came to sending wedding invites, I told her she was welcome to bring him as her plus one. The first red flag came when Jim was weirdly resistant to the idea of Misha bringing her boyfriend, but he excused it on being concerned about the number of guests we invited and then the matter was dropped. When the wedding day came, Misha showed up in this beautiful dress, nothing inappropriate for a wedding, and with her boyfriend on her arm, who I'll admit is a very handsome guy.

1:46:56Think Kit Harrington type. She's also lost weight and has a haircut that suits her better, and I thought she looked great. We also found out throughout the night that her boyfriend is very successful and earns more than practically anyone else who attended. Throughout the reception, I noticed Jim glaring at Misha and her boyfriend the whole time, and he was really cold and short towards her when she came over to congratulate us and give us a gift. He was also straight up kind of rude to her boyfriend when Misha introduced us to him. When his mom, who's always known and liked Misha, mentioned that she was glad Misha found a great guy and praised her boyfriend for being so nice, Jim snapped that, quote, at least she won't be desperate and hung up on me for the rest of her life, which I thought was cruel and uncalled for.

1:47:58But I didn't challenge him because I didn't want to argue at my wedding, despite the fact that he frankly sounded bitter. The whole thing has left an awful taste in my mouth. And I can't help but think that Jim got jealous that Misha has found a guy who's honestly quite a catch, who she's clearly very in love with and is now completely over Jim. Wow. That's the post. Wow. I wonder if it's captured in any of the wedding photos. The happy couple And then she's like on his arm And he's just like Staring Which This is really tough Because He obviously liked the thought of Someone out there Pining over him Yes Weirdo Even having that still Like oh I'm the man I'm gonna You know not that he's cheating But he just likes That feeling I guess And so now that person's gone because it makes you start to wonder, did he like that?

1:49:07Maybe not that he was going to actively cheat, but it's like always a backup option that's out there. Or is it simply just the attention of having someone out there that wants you but can't have you? You know, what is it that he likes about that? because obviously he could have chosen her if he wanted to back in the day. I know. Because like he could have dated her. Yes. So is it truly him just like being deeply insecure where he likes that ego boost that someone out there is obsessed with him? Oh, she likes me and I'm too good for her. Like what is it deep down that he gets off on that? Yes. About that attention.

1:49:50But I will say, I think I'm getting an annulment after that. I mean, I would. You spent the entire wedding night staring and fixating on this. And then you're going to snap when your mom brings it up and you're going to be rude to him and not really give her the time of day when she showed up to support you on your day. Yeah. Because she think it's probably not the easiest thing, especially for her in the past, to think one day I'm going to go to his wedding and I have to watch him marrying someone else. She's moved on. She still showed up to support her friend. So happy for her. She's got a great situation.

1:50:30I just can't believe that this took center stage on the wedding day. He's a deeply insecure man. And man. Deeply, deeply insecure. I, it's - Or self-centered. Is that like an extremely self-centered, egotistical asshole? Like I would love a psychologist to chime in and be like, what is this about? Top comment. I think I would have to take a step back from hubby and see if there were any other red flags you've missed. He was jealous of this woman and her boyfriend on your wedding day, all caps. I cannot imagine how much this hurt you. I am so sorry. It's a nightmare. It is. Next comment. How he admitted to treating that girl was the red flag and OP entirely overlooked it basically.

1:51:22He was okay using someone to meet his own needs and feed his ego for years. How exactly did OP think that makes for a good husband? But that's the other problem. Way too young in my opinion to be getting married anyways. Which, I mean, they're not that young. Next comment. Dude, right? Years. years he spent stringing her along i'm so proud of misha misha i don't know sorry for her perceived happiness i hope it's genuine also can you imagine just that that thing he said at the wedding when the mom was like i'm so happy she's found a nice guy and at the wedding he goes at least she won't be desperate and hung up on me for the rest of her life.

1:52:09Yeah, sure. Because that's exactly what you want. Then why are you mad if she's so desperate? Why are you acting mad and sad and dejected when you're getting married to someone you love? Question mark. Right. No, it's it's freak. There's that that whole situation is not going to work out. But I don't really, really hope this isn't the case and I'm not thinking it is but what if she went and found the best possible option to play her boyfriend or to show up as her date or to you know get convinced some other guy to go to a wedding with her that she knows will make him jealous and get his attention all night long because she's been hung up on him forever she won't move on so what's What's she got to do?

1:53:02Wedding day is the last stand, man. I got to find the best possible person to bring with me to get him to stare at me all night. She seems happy. And be jealous and then cause a breakup in the relationship. Then, you know, we were talking like, oh, we're OP. We're going to get an annulment. There you go. You just got her out of the way. So now, now the door is open again. Now he might all of a sudden, you know, He just lost his love because he was staring at you all night. That relationship's done. And now you also randomly break up with the guy, show up on his front doorstep and say, I broke up with him.

1:53:45I know he's perfect. He makes all this money. He treats me great. And he looks amazing like Kit Harington, but I'm choosing you. I just broke up with him for you. Hell no. And I'm on your front doorstep. Let's make this official. That should have been our wedding. And now we're going to have it. No, hell no. Misha is so much better off. But there's many Netflix movies and movies, Hallmark movies on this plot of like going to a wedding with a hot date. One old movie, similar vibes. It's from 2005. It's called The Wedding Date. It's with Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney. he dates Jess in New Girl he's the hot old guy forgetting his name what are the movies is he in he's also in My Best Friend's Wedding hot old guy well he's older now My Best Friend's Wedding anything Julia Roberts wedding related Runaway Bride My Best Friend's Wedding she's into is really good The Wedding Date Table 19 is a hidden gem of a wedding movie it's with Anna Kendrick Super good I like that title That's cool Table 19 Yeah It's All these people get put at the Misfit table And they share this amazing time It's a great movie Great movie I like that That's a great idea Yeah If you've got any other wedding movies Please put them in the comments I'm like Trying to just like Soak up any wedding What's the one in Alaska?

1:55:18Wedding movie? Oh The Proposal Yeah Oh and Betty White's in it Great movie That's top tier Great movie Any honestly any like good romance Rom-com movies please send them my way I'm gonna go home and watch Penelope Tonight with Christina Ricci That's like I think it's Christina Ricci That's one of my favorites So you're supporting my case You know the more I sit here and think about it I think that's what she did You think? Yup You know why? Because we've all seen those movies And I bet she watches all of them I bet she has a subscription to every service So she can watch all those movies I'm thinking she's in love I really I do hope so I will say I do hope so I hope she's moved on and found someone better than him because he's kind of a lost cause at this point I feel really bad for OP I know but I'm really starting to think that that was the play and I want I don't think so if it goes this way I'm not wishing this into existence but if it goes this way I want an update and I want the update to say I ended things with him and then she, Misha Misha, ended things with Mr.

1:56:30Perfect Kit Harington and she showed up on his door and boom, boom, boom, cliffhanger. Yeah. Will they end up together? I hope she ends up with the nice guy who's not an insecure freak. We don't know enough about him. Kit Harington lookalike because he sounds hot. We don't know enough about him. I also will say I watched The Materialist and I really, really, really had high hopes because God, what an all-star cast. Chris Evans, Dakota Johnson, and Pedro Pascal. You did me dirty on that movie. Botched board? Botched board. Wow. So we do have a half update. There's a little bit of a comment at the end of the post.

1:57:12After getting some private messages from people, I decided to go through his phone while he was napping after work. And needless to say, this marriage is over. I'll post a real update when I have sorted everything out. And you're still doubting me. There was part one. That's the first thing that needs to happen. Now all she needs to do, not OP, Misha, needs to break up with her guy. And it's all... Okay, let's get to the actual update. Oh, there's more. I thought she said it was coming. Yeah, we have it. Yeah, we're ready. Hey everyone, I'm posting here because I said in my last post that I would update when I'm able to.

1:57:56Pretty much the day after my original post, I got some PMs from people suggesting that I go through my husband Jim's phone to see if he and Misha were truly just friends before this and that nothing romantic happened between them that would explain his reaction at the wedding. He always takes a 45-minute nap after work and so I used that as my opportunity to swipe his phone from where it was charging on his desk so that I could look through it. I've seen him put his passcode in a ton of times, so that wasn't an issue. I didn't find anything in his text with her, but I know that Jim goes on Instagram a lot, so I checked there too.

1:58:33The immediate red flag was that he'd used an app lock that required a passcode to access Instagram, but the dumbass used the same passcode that he uses to unlock his phone, so I got into that right away. It's his birth year. Go figure. Nice. And what would you know? I go to his messages with Misha and find messages from him the morning after our wedding telling her how beautiful she'd looked that night, how much he had missed her, how he felt that her boyfriend being there spoiled his opportunity to catch up with her and that he was desperate to meet up with her.

1:59:15I never would have guessed. I would have I did it's on camera Misha never replied to these messages and he sent some more later to her that day I won't get into what he said because they were very personal insults that were frankly just gross but just think about the kind of stuff you would read on that nice guys subreddit Misha left him on red and when I clicked on her account it appears that she's blocked him. I scrolled through their messages quite far back, and I believe nothing romantic has happened between them. I wish that was all, but looking in his other conversations on Instagram, I found that he's been messaging other girls on there.

1:59:59They seemed like aspiring Instagram model types from our area. Most of these conversations were just him shooting his shot and getting left on read, but others had evolved into flirting, and two of them resulted in sex stain. Dang, right there on Instagram, huh? Wow. And the most embarrassing part of it all, the nudes he was sending to these women weren't even of him. I know what his body looks like, and he doesn't have chiseled abs and isn't that well endowed. I think he must have found a man's profile on some adult website and used those pictures just cropping the face out. These two conversations happened in the past six months.

2:00:48Right during wedding planning. Right during wedding planning. I ended up texting his mom and his brother from my phone, asking them to come and pick him up from the apartment, and then I went to wake him up. I told him that I knew about the girls, he was messaging on Instagram and that he needed to pack a bag and get the hell out before he started throwing his stuff out on the street and causing a scene. He started crying and begging me to not kick him out and swore that they were just messages and that he would never actually cheat on me. But I don't believe him for a second. Then he had the nerve to tell me that he didn't want me to tell anyone else about what he'd done, but I had left the room and started ignoring him by that point.

2:01:28He left with his mom and brother and is staying there from what I know. I've blocked him on everything for the time being until I'm ready to tell him that I'm seeking annulment. Thankfully where I'm from, you can get one almost no questions asked as long as you haven't been married for longer than 30 days and I've already looked into the process. I haven't really left my apartment at all this week and I've been calling in sick to work because I don't feel I can face people. I'm just so embarrassed that I've wasted over two years on this man and that I married him in the first place. I don't feel like I can even talk to people about this.

2:02:02So posting here has helped, and I'd like to thank you all for your kind words, advice, and support. I might reach out to Misha when the dust has settled, but I think I'll need to build up some courage for that. Dang. Yeah, that's tough, because then, you know, you probably took off time from work. prior. You've been building it up with everyone. Oh, I'm getting married. It's coming in two weeks. I mean, you talk about it to everyone. That's been our conversation for months and honestly a year. I know. I'm kind of ready to move to the next chapter. I'm really, I loved it. I loved it. I want to plan more weddings for fun because I loved it, but I'm, I'm excited.

2:02:44But everyone's going to be asking first day you get back, you know, to work. How was the wedding? oh my god that's all you're gonna have yeah and you just have to face that with i mean you have a kick-ass story i understand it's incredibly emotional and terribly heartbreaking and just probably the worst you could possibly feel because i've been through breakups but not literally right after the wedding i mean can you imagine so i feel for her i really do kind of shocked on the whole Misha situation. So I was half right, but, you know, I'm sure we're all curious. We do have one final update. Oh.

2:03:29This update is coming four months after the original post. Hi, everyone. I just thought I'd give an update to my situation since I still get messages of support on here every week or so. You'll be glad to hear that I was able to get the annulment and I didn't have to go through a messy divorce with Jim. I struck an agreement with him that I wouldn't tell a soul about his cheating or what happened with Misha and would leave him alone forever if he agreed to the annulment and got it over quickly. I did end up sticking to my end of the bargain, but it ended up not mattering because it turns out his brother is quite the gossip and let the cat out of the bag over Christmas after getting into an argument with Jim while drunk.

2:04:11A lot of Jim's family were pissed and asked for the money they contributed to his half of the wedding fund back, and some of our mutual friends have cut contact with him. A couple of our friends plastered everything on Facebook and humiliated him. Nice. It was interesting to watch the back and forth between them and Jim, honestly. I lived in our apartment and covered the rent on my own while he lived at his parents until the lease ended back in January. And now I'm living with my dad and I plan to stay here for a while and take things easy. In January, I also tried reaching out to Misha via text asking if she'd like to meet up for coffee to talk about anything.

2:04:51I never got a response directly from her, but a few days later I got a call from her number and it was her boyfriend on the other end. he said they were both sorry for what had happened to me and that they hope i'm doing well but that misha thought it was best to cease any contact as this whole ordeal had made her anxiety and mental health problems spiral and had landed her back in therapy i did ask why she never told me that jim had messaged her the day after the wedding and her boyfriend confessed that he advised her not to get involved and his direct words were, quote, I'm sorry to sound rude, but it's not her circus.

2:05:30I'm a little disappointed that she doesn't want to talk to me, but I get where she's coming from and I can't force her to do anything. To be honest, I think she's been looking for a way to divorce herself from our hometown and the people she knew and Jim back in high school for a while now. As for me, I'm also in therapy as I want to sort through these feelings and get back to feeling good about myself again before I even think about entering the dating scene again. I've also been firm about ending friendships with anyone who's taken Jim's side as I don't want him finding his way into my life again.

2:06:05So far, he's stayed away from me and hasn't tried to contact me, although his mom reached out over Christmas to ask me if there was any chance I might forgive Jim and take him back. As in her opinion, quote, you two are just meant to be together. I didn't respond to her and I've blocked her on pretty much everything now too. Thank you again for all your kind words and support. I'm certain leaving that asshole would have been harder for me had I not had hundreds of comments backing me up. Yeah. Yeah. Good job, OP. Yep. Hey, four months in, slowly but surely, get all back to normal. Well, and like moral of the story with this one is like, Even if you go through the wedding day, if you feel it's not right, don't keep going forward.

2:06:56OP was like, I'm so sad I wasted two years of my life and blah, blah, blah, blah. But what is it if you marry someone and then you're not feeling it or something's off, red flags, and then you go two more years. And then you still are in the same spot you were. and now you've wasted seven years or nine years or 11 years. Like it's, what's that saying? It has to do with trees, but it kind of fits this vibe. It's like the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is today. It's kind of like that with relationships. Like don't let the sunken cost fallacy get you. Move on. Yeah.

2:07:42Yeah. Well, I will say too, I think a lot of times the gut reaction when something ends is, oh, well, I've wasted seven years, but you really haven't. I mean, there's a lot of things you might look at differently because of the cheating and what was going on at certain times, but really there had to have been some good times and you had an experience. You got to know someone very closely. You got to have all these experiences with them. And really, if it all was, you know, kind of a sham or on a crap foundation, then you grew in some ways. You learned something. You took something out of it. I don't think the time is ever truly wasted.

2:08:28It's just the journey for you to really find that right person. And yeah, maybe it meant having a 10-year relationship that blew up at the end and felt like a waste. But whatever that was is leading you down the right path to that right person. And you wouldn't find them if you didn't have that. So yes, I get the reaction, but it's not wasted. You just got to work through it and keep on moving on. There's only so much you can do with dwelling on the past. And sure you can learn things from it but if you really dwell on it nothing good's ever going to come from it you just got to look forward and keep moving forward otherwise you're you're going to waste more time dwelling on the time you think you wasted and so you're just going to dig yourself deeper just forward forward forward and onward and better and have a good wedding but more importantly have a good marriage if that's what you're you're going for a good life and for op have a good second wedding kick-ass second wedding dude i want to have another one it was so fun like to you no like to you but i literally like i see why people do vow renewals like i didn't get it but now i get it i'm like that was so fun i don't want to change my vows though no like i want to keep them the exact same well you just like keep updating over time but they're they're really good.

2:10:00Yeah. Maybe we'll include a picture of them or something. Or we'll, I guess they'll be in the wedding video. We could do a Patreon segment where we read our vows to each other. No, I don't want to read them again. I could not stop crying. That was the one thing about the wedding day. I took a beta blocker. Those are magical. Those are amazing. Loved the beta blocker. What do you think it would have been like without it? Worse, crying more. But like, I just felt like on the brink of tears the whole day. Like I was just so emotional. I was so excited i was so like in my feels that i just like i just couldn't stop crying it's a crazy combination of feelings it's such a crazy amount of feelings but we'll talk more about our wedding over on patreon i i want to yeah not bore people too much do you have one little palate cleanser okay this is coming from r slash wedding shaming it's titled i can't believe this guest wore white to my wedding.

2:10:58We didn't have any, did we? No. Did you notice anyone? We've read so many of them. I'm saying at ours, did you notice any? No. Because remember we were talking about that? Not one person in white. I didn't even think about it the day of. No, I didn't see. We're going to have to look through the photos. I didn't see anyone in white. We're going to have to look through photos. No, I was looking at people. Oh, you were? You were scanning? Yeah, I was looking at people. Okay. We were totally fine. Okay, so that's the title. I can't believe this guest wore white to my wedding. Okay. And they go But it's okay Because he was our ring bearer And wore it very well And it's a picture of an all white dog He didn't even wear white He is white Yeah he's just bright white fur Look at that He is white Very cute Like Ghost It does look like Ghost The dog from Game of Thrones That's cool That's all I got Friends I'm gonna give you I think that gets a pass That definitely gets a pass He's a good boy You have to spray paint him before the wedding Like that dog spray Do the dog spray and like what they can do, make poodles look like tigers.

2:11:58It's crazy. But we're headed over to Patreon. I'm going to give you a sneak peek of some of the stories we're going to read. Am I the asshole for telling people the real reason why I skipped my friend's wedding? Am I the asshole for not canceling my plans to attend my sister's wedding? One of my husband's friends made me uncomfortable at our wedding, but it's my own fault. Am I the asshole for telling my friend that her free wedding is unrealistic? and last but probably not least trigger warning for infertility this one is titled my fiance used my infertility story for his best man's wedding speech yeah it's gonna be a doozy of an episode i hope to see you guys over there october is gonna have some really really fun bonus content wedding episode a spooky episode and then a surprise i don't know what the heck it's going to be yet, but very excited to have you all over there.

2:12:58Thank you so much for being here. You really allowed us to have our dream wedding, all of your support. It means the absolute world to us and we appreciate you guys. And I'm really excited for you to see our wedding photos and videos. I think by this point we should have a picture up on Instagram. So if you want to see the dresses and our amazing wedding head over there any final final thoughts final notes so good i'm just like admiring you doing your thing okay yeah okay cool yeah okay okay until next time guys until next time bye bye

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