243: The People Are Ill..?

38:58Like we've gone above and beyond opening our doors, making sure your needs are met. We've put ourselves out there by giving you money, paying for non-essentials like weed. We really have gone above and beyond to make sure you are in a safe, happy, healthy home and you have recreational fun. Like we've gone above and beyond and you're not being at the bare minimum respectful. Yeah. We're going to give you three weeks to move out. That's no, I'd be like, you're out now I'm not even kidding I know I don't know I don't care I don't think he has any money I don't care get the fuck out you have a serious attitude problem and you need to fall on your ass and hard in order to adjust it because if you got kicked out twice before this and this is how you treat your guests or not your guests the owners like you clearly need something big to happen in order for you to change something needs to give because this is so unacceptable so like yeah go and like figure it out on your own.

39:57I know. And that's the other side. I mean, I think like, Hey, two week notice, like, no, he can go find a roommate. He's working now. Nope. Like right now you're done. Why am I being the devil's advocate a little on this one? Ooh. I just think, I just think that this like behavior is so despicable. It's like, it's just like triggering. Um, and, and then add like Taylor Swift. Now it's personal. so the people that hate Taylor Swift that are listening are like literally like crossing out my face on everything like no I mean everyone is entitled to like who they like like it I mean I don't love certain artists but like Justin does and so I'll listen to them if they're in the car that's that's different though you're not gonna spit on him for it but I'm not disrespectful exactly he's disrespectful top comment does say that he's living rent-free and throwing a fit over your music the audacity this isn't about taylor swift it's about his respect for you in your own home for sure time for a serious talk about house rules or an exit plan exit plan being now our uh our writer does respond thank you that's what i've been saying the level of disrespect is insane he's been my best friend for three years and now we all live together and my partner and i are helping him financially and he acts like this wait brother in law is best friend that's what oh they're all like i mean it was like they were all friends yeah so now i'm like okay maybe he's like really comfortable a little too comfortable okay maybe we can give him like one week notice i think two is no we can give him one week to get his shit together.

41:45And if he does, then he can stay for a little bit longer. Okay. I think that's a fair compromise. This other comment goes, not the asshole. I don't like Taylor Swift, but if you are graciously giving me a place to stay when I'm on hard times, your music choices would be my last thought. Yeah. I'd be more concerned about what chores I could do to pay you back while I looked for a job and to thank you on a daily basis. What to do? Well, he can shut the fuck up and contribute to the household or he can move out. Again, I really can't stand Taylor Swift. If someone was kind enough to offer me a home when I needed help, I'd be so grateful.

42:20Being a jerk about what music you love is such a terrible thing to comment on. You seem so kind and I'm sorry this is happening. Why do people like can't stand her? Like I don't understand that. We're gonna have to ask some people in the comments. I just think like it's you see that like her art brings so many people happiness and connection. Like why does that make you angry? I do not know, but we do have an update. This is like the one I don't want an update for. I'm like, move on. I hate everyone. Just kidding. Hey, Two Outtakes fam. Thank you so much for your input on my last post. With the exception of a few people, the comments were really affirming and helped me pull my head out of my ass, man up, and face the situation more directly.

43:03I went ahead and deleted the post just in case as I caught a few people I know in real life peeping it. My fault for putting everyone onto the pod. We waited until he was in a good mood. Then my partner and I sat him down and laid out everything on the table. We told him that his reactions to our music made us feel like we were walking on eggshells and being held hostage in our own home. We told him we were starting to become resentful and considering drastic measures if things didn't change. We made it clear that we were happy to help him to an extent and clarified the extent, but only if he could remain respectful.

43:40We clearly set the expectation that in our house, our house, we don't throw things, slam things, yuck anyone's yum, or yell. We made sure to address it delicately, but firmly. We asked if he'd felt respected in the house, if there was anything deeper going on mentally. He let us know about some personal things that he was struggling with, and we worked together to make a game plan going forward. So to those of you that pointed out, it was likely a lot of change at once, and there was probably a deeper mental health issue occurring. Thank you. He recognized and acknowledged that his reactions were inappropriate as well as unwarranted.

44:19He apologized for his responses and disrespect, thanked us for being willing to put so much effort into making him understand how his actions were affecting us and how mindful we've been about playing her music while admitting we've been objectively overly conscious. He agreed that the frequency we were asking for wasn't unreasonable. 45 minutes a week after a rough day over dinner without him, talks in private conversations not included him, during activities not included him, like watching TikToks on the couch as he walks by. This is fucking crazy. Yeah, you should be able to live in your house.

44:54Do you? Are you kidding? No, he can. No, there's no you don't need to make. No, he confirmed we weren't listening too loudly, that he wasn't able to hear it in his room or upstairs at all. He should stay there and that we should be able to sparingly listen to her music in common spaces as we allow him to do that as well. We came to the conclusion together that his frustration has been building since his feed has been full of her stuff recently with the recent album. that fact is likely due to his interactions with her hate videos is a discussion for another time hate videos who knows he's probably watching something and then getting even more of her content we collectively agreed that it's just better for him to keep his mouth shut going forward ultimately there's nothing we could say if we ever tried to make him like her and on the flip side there's nothing he can say to make us not like her we know how he feels he knows how we feel and there's no point in beating a dead horse.

45:49So basically, he's been overexposing himself. It was good to hear him come to the conclusion this whole situation was 99 % his own fault and tell us that we weren't doing anything wrong. We told you that. Honestly, neither of us were expecting the level of accountability he did take. Yeah. All three of us got headphones. We gave him a pair of earbuds about a week ago, and we will continue using them in heavy rotation for longer listening sessions of music the others don't enjoy. This is like way too many compromises for your house, but maybe I'm just an asshole. No, I agree. It's your house. It's no.

46:28OP goes on to say, I've agreed to teach him budgeting and basic finance management techniques to get him on his feet faster. I'm planning to surprise him with a few vinyls of his own of his favorite artists. Our lease renews in April. Until then, we'll be having biweekly sit-downs to go over concerns, and we'll reevaluate our living situation at lease renewal. If he's still here then, if all goes well, sooner if things don't improve. The mood in our house is great now. I thought there might be some tension after the discussion, but it went over really well. Well, as long as you're happy. That's good.

47:02There you go. I don't think you should have to make compromises though but if you feel good about it if you feel happy then that's what's important yeah I mean I don't think you need to be this big of a person but if you're comfortable doing that to make peace in your home and like support your your friend your family then that's a sacrifice you're willing to make but I also think he was being extremely unreasonable and disrespectful and he can go in his room when there's music playing in the living room that he doesn't want every single bill. Yeah. I'm like a little, I'm like blown away by like how much give there was, but good for you.

47:47You sound like a great person. Yeah, I'm sure it's probably just like, I mean, if, well, one, it's OP's partner's brother and then on top of it, OP's best friend. So I can see how like once you have that conversation and you're, he's being so like understanding and now he's being like respectful and taking accountability that then like, okay, cool. But then you kind of want to like, the love that you have for this person comes out and you're like, I'm willing to make compromises too. Like I can see how that would happen even though it's like her home. But, but I'm, I'm, it sounds like good enough.

48:23Happy ending. Good enough. Moving along. We love you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Teach me your patience because I, I do not have this level of composure. I don't anymore. I used to, I've been like really, I've been like having thin patience lately. Super thin. Yeah. How do you expand your patience? Is that like, how do you get that back? I don't know. This is like the first time that I've been this like quick to get, well, I don't want to fly off the handle. are you flying off the handle i don't even want to say that either because like i definitely have had like times where i get like really really like frustrated but like i feel it kind of like boils over yeah um and like lately it just feels like like i have like somebody like not let me in when i'm merging and i'm like fuck yeah a little road rage i had did i tell you about my road rage the other day no i'll tell you about it after but i've guys already heard about i don't flick them off though.

49:25Maybe that was on Patreon. I don't flick them off where they can see it. So I do I like do hold back a little bit because I don't want actual road rage. Oh yeah. It's like more internally but I do I flick them off under my car. I love my horn. I use my horn. No I just like I had one time like one experience where like I don't know like somebody did something stupid and like and they ended up honking at me and I was like you were the one who did the stupid thing so I honked back. I just want to do this and then she like honked at me again and then she was like honking and like flicking me off and like just being like like driving crazy and in that moment i was like oh my god it's not worth it to have road rage like it's not worth it to i can feel it inside and i can scream in my car but like it's not worth it to like interact with this person no people literally get killed over road rage like people are so ill people are ill people are ill this next motherfucker is definitely Really ill.

50:23Motherfucker. I'm ill. Okay, that was a little aggressive. I take it back. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Okay, real talk. To-do lists are unhinged, and the stuff that actually gets done, always the stuff you had help with. Flat pack furniture, meal prep, things that are just better with another person. Now, State Farm can't help with the sofa or Sunday cooking, but when it comes to helping find the right coverage for you, they're on it. You can talk to one of their 19 ,000 local agents in person over the phone through their easily accessible app or at statefarm.com. Whatever works for you.

50:59Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by Revolve. My summer has been jam-packed with moments where I just want to look cute. And the best way to do it is to find a good fit, an outfit that makes you feel confident, that feels on trend or reflects your unique style, and Revolve is my go-to place to find those fits. I just went to Europe and basically every single one of my outfits was from Revolve, and I've never, never been complimented more. So whether it's a big night out, a wedding, a summer trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, Revolve always has it.

51:35Go to revolve.com slash THT to shop our faves and use code THT for 15 % off your first order. Fast shipping, easy returns. It just makes everything easier. That's revolve.com slash THT. You can shop our faves and get 15 % off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out. Okay, next story is brought to you by Ollie Wellness. I hate feeling like an asshole in life. I like when I'm balanced in all aspects, but especially my vagina. So we're happy. Hoo-ha comes in. Ollie's vaginal probiotic that supports vagina health and pH balance. And this next story definitely needs something balanced out.

52:24I mean, I just warned you. I'm like, this is not okay. So let's get into this next story. So it's coming from A-I-T-A-H, nine days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Asking My Husband Not to Sneeze Like That? My husband has always been a loud sneezer in the 17 years we've been married. Recently, he's begun screaming while he sneezes, when before he had been making a loud yell, shout. I've brought it up casually that he's really loud when he sneezes and is it really necessary? He says he can't help it. Last night I was in bed with a headache right around the start of bedtime. He came in to use our bathroom and did one of his scream sneezes.

53:17I said, please don't sneeze like that. I have a bad headache. He didn't know about my headache. He became upset and said it's involuntary and he can't help it. He very sarcastically said, I'm sorry for sneezing. A few minutes later, he came to my bedside and asked me to open my hand. He put a folded up square of toilet paper in my hand and said, quote, I'll stop bothering you with my involuntary sneezing if you will stop voluntarily leaving period blood under the toilet seat. So will you go clean that up right now or should I do that for you? Whoa. I told him that I thought I had cleaned up after myself earlier.

54:04Earlier, I had asked him to bring me a new tub of Clorox wipes when I was on the toilet and I cleaned up with that. He then said, quote, I'm really offended because I apologized for my sneezing and you didn't even acknowledge legit. He then took his pillows and blankets and slept in the extra bed. This morning, he said he was sorry for getting snippy last night. I haven't known what to say about it all yet. It's all so ridiculous. And I'm wondering if I'm out of line for thinking that screaming while sneezing is not necessary. He didn't used to do this. I'm not saying that he has to stop or control the actual sneezing part.

54:51You all are insane. Wait, is this a listener? No. No, this is coming from AITH. Likely a random. Yeah, I don't know what's going on, but you know what? They are out of fucking whack. But what's funny is that these are also very innocent problems compared to other stuff that we discuss. Like, you know, they're arguing over You go ahead I'm pissed You don't think these are innocent compared to some of the other stuff we talked about? I'm gonna shut my mouth and not interrupt you Morgan, we've had incest cheating stories Okay We have Okay Well, when you compare it to that That's what I'm comparing it to Well, you might be right there

55:42No, I don't know what it is I think this is a dude thing with age because my dad has become this person where he is like

55:53and it's like it's it you don't need to sneeze like that I I I understand but I I actually would be really upset if my partner tried to police my sneeze like how do you sneeze I don't know do you scream no but like i still think that i still think i would be very upset if my partner tried to police my sneeze but at the same time i don't know if i can judge that much because i will yell at brian for his burping is that is that similar that's yep that's apples to apples so he a different font what he does though which grosses me out so much yeah you're in it i kind of feel bad for saying this like on here but like he'll burp and then he like lets his whole like body like like growl with it like oh disgusting and I'm like stop doing that and and he's like it's just just a burp but I'm like no it's not you're making yourself like act like you're about to throw up like stop so i'm so i'm like i can also relate to her too i just i feel confused

57:10i think there's a little bit of a breakdown in their communication clearly oh i mean his response was was so crazy that's what's sending me yeah can you imagine you accidentally so pissed like I, the other morning, like I, my, oh, my cramps were so bad. I couldn't find my heat pad. I was like on the brink of like, I kind of want to go to the hospital. Like my cramps were that bad. Couldn't find the heat pad. Justin's looking all over the house for 45 minutes. I fake cleaned and I hid it somewhere. Can't find it. The next morning I get up and I like ruined a pair of underwear while I was sleeping, ruined them, ruined them.

57:52And I take them off. I rinse them. And then I'm like getting into the shower. And before I can get in the shower, I'm like dropping globs of blood on the floor. You know, I don't like to. Periods are really bad. I don't like glob talk. But like I wiped them up. I grabbed like our cleaning bleachy spray, whatever the hell it is. Wiped it up. But if Justin then would have came to me and been like, open your hand. Oh, yeah. I'm thinking it's a cute surprise. I'm thinking he got me a piece of chocolate to make me feel better. I don't know. And he goes, here's a piece of paper towel for you to go wipe up your period blood, you nasty woman.

58:29I'm just like, that's like how it feels. Yeah, no, I'd be furious. And so it's like, hey, I have a headache. I just kindly asked you to not sneeze like that. Why are you screaming? You didn't always scream. Why are you screaming? I think the fact that he didn't always do it like that. That would send me. That would send me over the ledge. So I'm like, okay. All you had to do is be like, hey, super sorry, hon. Super sorry. Will you rest up? And if you see a little period blood around the rim, you ignore it. Just like you do the explosive diarrhea spots. You ignore it. I knew that was coming. Sometimes you have to ignore it.

59:10Yeah. I have the grossest story, but I'm not going to out this older family member. So I'm not going to go there. But it was pretty nasty. And guess what I did? I ignored that bathroom and guess who cleaned it the next day? Justin, because he loves me. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's love. That is love. Love is ignoring the nasty parts. I'm like, is the older family member me? No. Did you pee on my floor? No. Yeah. No. I like that you, I don't know if you're keeping this in here, but me and Morgan were talking about how I now say ruin. And so I thought that was funny how you're like, ruin, ruin, ruin. I have a guest coming up who's also from the Midwest and I'm going to compile a list of words that we say wrong and I'm going to hand them the list and see how they say.

1:00:04Yes, I love that. So if you guys have any words that you want me to make them say, please drop them in the comments. Maybe I'll like pin something. I know I said hammock weird the other day. I don't know what got into me. I don't say hammock usually. I don't think at least. I don't know. I did realize I say Toyota wrong. Oh yeah, I saw that comment. Can't win them all, okay? Wait, I think I say hammock. Yeah, I think I do say hammock. Do I say hammock too? I don't know. Oh god.

1:00:41but hey I think these people can figure it out I think they need to communicate I think there's a way to get back on track get balanced again because this just like is not gonna work long term like you guys have been together 17 years and maybe this is one of those things because they've been together 17 years they're like what do we have to fight about oh I guess sneezing yeah that's period blood but hey after 17 years if your sneeze changes I want to be a little sussed out I'll be a little pissed I like how you try to fight me on the fact that this one is like one of the worst stories we've come across and I'm like do you remember what we've read not the worst but like it just like some of the innocuous ones just have irk you because it's more like Me and Rich.

1:01:29Yeah, I get that. That's how I felt about one of the stories. It's like, it's so random, but like, I'm like, it did something to me. I don't know why. It peaked a core. Yeah. But hey, just like our relationships, sometimes vaginas can get thrown off balance too. Ollie gets that, whether it's happy hoo-ha that empowers you to take charge of your vaginal health or period hero for PMS support. I period heroed it up the other day. Like, those were so good for my cramps. Great timing. Nice. Great timing to have an Ollie event to go to. It was magical. But you can find Ollie supplements at retailers nationwide or at ollie.com.

1:02:08Code THT30 for 30 % off. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Wow. That's pretty good. Thanks, Ollie, for sponsoring that story. And we're on to the next one. Oh, I didn't even read the comments. Ah. Ah. Yeah. Top comment. My husband used to do the same thing and I told him, great. So why isn't it involuntary in public? He's a loud sneezer in public, but no yell. I would have killed him had we gotten to a scream stage. After that, he stopped. Not saying it would work for you and not saying it was an easy conversation either, but it's been a lot of years now.

1:02:51I love the way that you're reading her. I like feel like I can hear this person actually talking I try I try. Uh, someone else goes This has been my experience to the letter my partner sneezing so loud at home It would hurt my ears yet. We stayed with his family for a week and he did quiet sneezes to not make noise in their house I clocked it immediately because he spent years claiming that he cannot sneeze quietly I pointed out he was doing normal sneezes and he had always denied being able to. He now sneezes normally. I'm still baffled why he was always screaming his sneezes previously. You know what it is?

1:03:31Can you do a scream sneeze fake one? I just like, I need to like, I need to hear it. So my dad sneezes really loud. So let me try to channel that. I'm nervous. I'm locked in. I'm listening. What? don't want to be friends anymore. That was not it though, because my dad was way deeper. I was really trying to channel his sneezes. But the thing is, is that like, if you have kids around, I will say that me and my brother would laugh so hard when my dad would sneeze. That's cute. So I think that's also why this doesn't trigger me is because I have a good memory associated with loud sneezing. That's cute.

1:04:09Yeah, I do not. I have been woken up so many times by my dad's allowed sneezing. If you have a loud sneeze screamer, can you please record them and then tag me in it on Instagram? I would like, I just want to see for research. Like, what are you dealing with? But okay, we're moving on to this next one. Okay. If you are grossed out by poop, please skip to the next story. Okay, so this one is coming from r slash am I overreacting? It's titled, am I overreacting? She shit with me in the shower. Yes! This is bringing back to our first episode. Throwback, baby. This is the one that the episode that I would talk about to explain.

1:04:57That I would tell everyone what the podcast is about. Hello, long-time lurker, first-time poster. Throw away, because I don't want this affiliated with my mane. I, female 22, have been dating this girl, female 21, for about three months, and it's been great. The only red flag I've seen before this was that she was a bit messy, leaving things without putting them away, including trash. Anyways, yesterday we went to a karaoke club, got super wasted and she spilled her drink all over us. No big deal. We went to my apartment after. We were in the shower. Nothing sexy or anything. We were too drunk for that.

1:05:38But I remember looking down and there was a streak on the bottom of the shower and I asked her what it was. I shit you not. She said, quote, oopsie, I did a poopsie. Keep her. And pushed the ball of shit into the drain with her toe. Oh my God. I didn't know what to say. I just kind of stood there. This chick really just pooped? I told myself that she was drunk and we could talk about it tomorrow, today. Fast forward to this morning. We woke up and I could not get what I saw out of my head And so I tried to keep it light and laugh about pooping Maybe try to get it into the toilet in the future And she goes on to explain that she just feels comfortable with me And doesn't want to hide who she is anymore Whoa I asked if she poops in the shower all the time Yeah

1:06:48She does No

1:06:53I asked if she could refrain from doing so in my shower And she agreed Dot dot dot dot dot I just feel like I can't move past this And look at her the same And kind of want to break up with her Am I overreacting? I need you to know how much more disturbing this image is for me after yesterday unclogging our bathroom. Bathtub.

1:07:28What was in your bathtub? There was not poop. But my point is that my hair is long, right? And even though I try to like It gets in my hands And I'll put it on the side of the shower And then I wipe it away I clock you But still some hair falls into the drain It happens So it started filling up And so I like got a snake And pulled it out And it was like an actual snake in there And like my hair was tangled up With just like Gunk And it was like white gunk and like I don't I don't know what it all was but I was like pulling and pulling and it was like really gross and I just can't imagine if my partner was pooping in there and I'm using my hands to like rope this stuff out with their poop in my oh yeah no sorry that is a safety hazard we can have nope we can't have any of that did I do you remember what happened at the condo when I lived with my dad our pipes in the building the building was old the pipes got insanely clogged apparently the upstairs neighbor was flushing wipes there were rumors he was also putting diapers down the toilet like it was it was really bad so our our pipes for the whole building rumor like clogged well because this guy who came said he found diapers and oh my god yeah i i'm a hard time believing someone would be dumb enough to flush diapers, but there's a towel in there.

1:09:03If there was someone dumb enough, it would be him. Full on Christmas tree. And so because everything clogged all of a sudden, because it went from the third floor to the second floor to the first floor out to the sewer. Yep. So my toilet started overflowing with stuff that wasn't mine. Yeah. The pipes were so backed up. My bathtub started filling with the building's shit. Oh, my god the night before i was supposed to record like my first episode with a big guest it was horrible horrible they had to come over to that they're like smells good no i i i paid for an emergency plumber it was the most insane thing they came and like jetted the pipes with a huge water jet oh my god but like you're not that stuff's not supposed to be in there no like i I don't blame you.

1:09:56I don't think you're overreacting. I think you would have to break up. You can pee in the shower all you want. Yeah. Pee away. But when you start pooping in that shower. That's where I draw the line. We're done. We got to have some type of boundaries here. I mean, if you accidentally shit yourself and you need to rinse off, different story. But if you're doing it continuously, there's toilets, girl. There's toilets for a reason. No, I completely agree. The fact that OP's partner said that it's a constant thing, that would be very, very concerning. Yeah, I mean, she said she just feels comfortable with me and doesn't want to hide who she is anymore.

1:10:35Who she is is shitting in the shower. I also just think it's so weird. Like, I don't care how comfortable I am with anyone. And like, why would you want to expose them to that smell? What if you had a taco the day before and there was a corn kernel in there? That's kind of a moot point, but.

1:11:03I just don't know why. Like, I think I had a story with Michaela this past week, too. And there was like a poop story because I don't know what Reddit goes through phases and poop is on the Reddit brain right now. I remember when people thought you had like a fetish. I know. I was talking to someone the other day and they were like describing their podcast and they were like, yeah, it's a comedy podcast. We talk about diarrhea a lot. And I go, whoa, whoa. You got to be careful with that. People will accuse you of having a poop fetish. I don't know why. That's like probably one of the funniest like negative things anyone's ever said about the podcast.

1:11:39It's so, so crazy. Because I really like it actually freaks me out. Like if you knew me, like I just find it hilarious. Well, that's why it's so funny. It's hilarious. Oh my God. But yeah, top comment. You cannot spend your life with somebody that shits on the floor and mashes it down the drain with their foot. I feel like this isn't a thing that even needs to be verbalized. But it's how we started the podcast. OP responds. She just said it with such calm. I wanted to be sure. Yeah. And now I feel so valid. I'm definitely breaking up with her. Wait, do they live together? No. Okay. Only dating for three months.

1:12:23Okay. Oh, wow. Only three months. Run. Run. OP has since deleted their account. That's all she wrote. She's like, I don't want to be associated with that anymore. um well that's that's just like nostalgic for me I know that sounds crazy but like truly that I think it was either the first or the second episode that we recorded was a story where waffle stomping yeah well where this where this girl I think was like I don't know what to do I just found out that my boyfriend always poops in the shower which is why after the gym he always forces me to shower first and one day I finally was like no you shower first like why do you why do you always do this?

1:13:10And he was like, it's because I don't want you to go into the shower right after I pooped in it. And she was like, what? And I think they'd been together for like years. Like they were living together. They were living together. Yeah. And that one. So that's one dodged a bullet. Yeah. But that's just like for so long when I would tell people like, they're like, oh, what's the podcast about? I'd be like, well, it's like Reddit stories. And they're like, what kind? Like finance? And I'd be like, no, like this girl had a boyfriend who poops in the shower so she's like what do I do and we're like I'll break up it's so vintage I um I spoke on a panel last year and it came up on the panel of like why do you have video podcasts and I'm like well like I'll give you guys an example does anyone in the room know what waffle stomping is and like you saw like a couple people like slowly raise their hands They're like, do I want to admit this?

1:14:02Literally. And I go, for those of you that don't know, waffle stomping is when you take a shit in the shower and stomp it down with your foot. And the room gasped. Like, jaws were dropped. And I go, that's why you have video. It was just like this, like, it was so powerful. It was powerful. But I think these next couple stories are going to be pretty powerful as well. Powerfully ill. Sick. Sick. This episode is brought to you by Credit Karma. Breathe in, now breathe out. You feel that? That's the calm of having Intuit Credit Karma in your corner. If you're trying to get your life together in this crazy world, Credit Karma is a great place to start with the money stuff.

1:14:47Your credit score isn't just a number. It can unlock better rates, more options, and real savings. So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on Credit Karma for less craziness and more credit. This episode is brought to you by Billy. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter. I'm in hibernation mode and I grow out my leg hair a little bit. But it's getting warmer and now I'm excited for that first shave of the season. And if you are, then you gotta get the Billy razor into your life.

1:15:21It's designed for how women actually shave. Legs, pits, toes, happy trail, wherever prickles decide to show up. It has five sharp blades and a pivoting head, so you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics. And it comes with a magnetic holder so your razor stays dry on the wall instead of sitting in a shower puddle. Grab a Billy razor in your favorite color in store or at mybilly.com. This next one, which I'm going to be honest, okay, you guys, there is gonna be uh the people are ill theme over on patreon with lauren we just read a story that it's a patreon story yeah it just does not fit on the side of things yeah it's a heavy conversation and we just feel that it's better to have in a space where it's a little more communicative and people can really like we can intimately have a conversation which is what we do on patreon with a lot of the stories that we feel are too big or too heavy for the main channel so that is now going to go over there it is a story about a mom who's asking am I the asshole for like still visiting my son in prison and it's a really complex story and we definitely want moms to chime in and just like have a conversation with us but it's going to be over on patreon so instead our last story before a palate cleanser is going to be this one.

1:16:51Okay, trigger warning though, you guys, this story does contain talks of a very traumatic birth. So if you cannot handle that today, please go to the palate cleanser. So it is titled, Am I the Asshole If I Told My Husband I Wanted a Divorce After He Made Fun of How Many Pants I Tried On? I, 30 female, had a baby eight weeks ago via a traumatic birth. 10 hours of active labor, super high fever, emergency C-section, and my son didn't breathe for eight minutes after coming out. Oh my god. I told my husband, 37 male, that I had no birth plan and I just wanted us to all get out of the hospital alive and healthy.

1:17:32However, I did have a very specific plan for the first 40 days postpartum that involved eating specific Chinese foods, limiting outings, and not being cold or in the wind. I told him it was very important to me culturally and for my healing. While I was pregnant, which also had its complications, I meal prepped and froze a lot of food that I just asked him to heat up and add vegetables and make rice, and I wrote down recipes for him. He said, I got you baby. He in fact did not have me. I spent the first two weeks postpartum sleeping on the couch because I couldn't get in and out of bed after my surgery doing the whole night shift by myself every night and not eating anything besides the fast food he would bring home or I would end up cooking for us.

1:18:27Oh my god. He told me that staying inside for 40 days was stupid so by day 10 we were going out. I know that I should have said no but I was too tired to argue. We had gone to the beach day 14 and when we got there there were 35 mile per hour winds and my husband said quote let me just fish for a little and then we can go but he disappeared down the beach with the car keys for three hours. Oh hell no. While the baby and I sat in the wind on day 16 he invited his sister to stay with us for a week so i had to vacate the couch and climb in and out of our bed still taking the whole night shift his sister had a very similar surgery hysterectomy earlier this year and was telling my husband and i about the risk of hernias after surgery like ours this was after both of them sat on the couch and watched me haul laundry to and from the garage while they watched TV.

1:19:33Wow. She also demanded that we eat certain foods while she was here, that she can't get back home. And my husband door-dashed whatever she wanted to the house and or drove us all to go get food that she wanted. Meanwhile, I couldn't get him to heat up frozen food for me. Wow. She also told us about the importance of scar care after the surgery and suggested that I get a C-section massage. Any place I found were over$200. And I texted my husband that I felt guilty spending that much money on something so selfish. He changed the subject and didn't address my text at all. I hate him so much. I felt so incredibly hurt by this.

1:20:20I don't know if it was hormonal or what. No, he's a horrible person. But him not saying anything to me, feeling guilty for wanting to do something nice for myself made me feel so unloved and insignificant. Especially because after his sister had her surgery, he talked to me about wanting to send her$10 ,000 of our savings to help her out with medical bills. And he didn't even acknowledge, let alone offer to pay for a$200 massage for me. Wow. After I was cleared for regular physical activity at six weeks, I asked him if it would be okay if I spent 30 minutes a day in our garage working out. He agreed and said he would watch the baby for me.

1:21:06The next day when I asked him to hold the baby for me while I worked out and he took my son, he put him down into the baby Bjorn. The baby started crying halfway through and I had to finish my workout while wearing the baby. He told me while I was pregnant that it was a non-negotiable for him that he continued going to the gym three times a week and started going back week four from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m., leaving me with the baby and having to figure out dinner. Two to six? Is there a typo in that? Holy oh my god. What is wrong with this guy? The last straw for me was yesterday. The last straw for me was right when you started.

1:21:52Right when you started talking, Morgan, I was done. I had been with the baby all night and all morning, and he wanted to go and get lunch. So I asked him to watch the baby so I could get dressed, and I was taking longer than usual to get ready. He snarkily said to the baby, quote, Mom's got to try on six more pairs of pants before we can leave. And I lost it on him. I screamed nothing fits me because I just had a fucking baby and I don't get to work out at all I told him I fucking hate him and that he should go to his parents house or sleep on the couch or whatever Just leave me alone He shook his head at me like I was being irrational and I felt such rage inside of me How could he not see that I was dying?

1:22:44I spent the night googling divorce lawyers and I feel like I'm overreacting nope not at all do we have an update I'm like let's cut to the chase where you guys do get a divorce come on fast forward to the ending also like try not to say it try not to say it try not to say it is he in love with his sister

1:23:10um there's definitely some interesting family dynamics I don't understand this like I would I would help my siblings if they needed it but I wouldn't help my siblings over caring for Justin that's see that's why I'm like it's it wouldn't be odd to me if that's the person that he is but the fact that he puts his sister on a pedestal and his wife who carried his baby like gave birth to his baby and he's going to treat her like crap like that's that is so weird to me I'm just disgusted by him I'm absolutely disgusted by him and there is an edit so looking at the actual post on reddit the post has been removed by op they ended up deleting their account so I don't know if that's because of the comments and what they got and just like didn't want to hear it or it reconfirmed what they were feeling and then just like, I'm good.

1:24:09I'm going to delete this before it goes crazier. I do have screenshots of an edit, but would you like to get into the top comments and then talk about the edit and then really go off on this person? Or do you want to go off, edit, top comments? Or go off, top comments, edit. I think just start reading wherever you first see a word.

1:24:36I see many words. Just pick one and go. You're stressing me out. I'm really indecisive lately. I have decision paralysis. It is bad. So the top comment, because I do think this came before the edit. Not the asshole. My ex once went hiking with a friend and left me alone with a four-month-old while I had a pretty serious case of the flu. That was only the beginning. Notice I said, ex, these guys just don't get it, don't want to get it, and should never marry in the first place. You are not overreacting. You aren't dragging it out for 20 years like I did. That's the type of wisdom I did not have.

1:25:21Next comment, my now ex wanted to go on a Father's Day hike. Ten days after our baby was born. Vaginal, not C-section. A hard rated hike. Five to eight mile loop around a waterfall. You start at the top, so the second half is back up. We got into a massive fight because he would not slow the fuck down while I was carrying our baby upward hike of slippery rocks and waterfalls. He put on the baby carrier and just sped off without me. Wow. He still does not think he was wrong. Our kid is a teenager. Some dudes just don't get it. Wow. At least both of those have my now ex. And someone does quote them and goes, at least some kind of happy ending.

1:26:11So one of the other top comments is a hyperlink, and it says, he gets it, he just doesn't care. And when you click the link, it goes to another post. It's from the 2x chromosome subreddit titled, he knows he doesn't care. My husband says he doesn't see the mess he leaves on the floor. I always end up having to pick it up. My fiance keeps grabbing my boobs randomly, even though I asked him to stop. My boyfriend yells at me and slams doors whenever we argue. He understands. He knows he doesn't care. He can hear you. He has a job. He attended school. when he gets pulled over by a cop, he gets his license out.

1:26:53He can read, he can follow directions, listen, understand consequences, and act to avoid them. He simply does not care about you. Yeah. He is quite comfortable with you being unhappy, uncomfortable, burnt out, traumatized, as long as it means he gets what he wants and can keep the status quo. There isn't a special way to rephrase your feelings that will get through to him finally or a special tactic you can use to get him to respect you. I honestly feel most women just don't understand how much disdain some men have for us on average. As painful as it is, we absolutely must come to terms with the fact that most, yes I said most, men do not see or respect women as real people just like them, equal in value and humanity to themselves and their male buddies.

1:27:45Most. Meaning it's statistically more likely the guy you're dating views you as a continuum from benevolent sexism to mild dehumanization to callous indifference to veiled contempt to outright hatred. Saying I care about you, I love you, I'm trying, I'm sorry does not mean those things are true. Actions make those words true. A man who cares, loves, tries, and is sorry doesn't make you rack your brain trying to find novel ways to communicate to him. He knows. He simply doesn't care. Wow. That's such a powerful comment. Yeah. Just wow. It really is like I was talking to my friend about this who had gotten out of a relationship and she was saying how she saw herself so mean to her partner towards the end in a way that she's never seen herself.

1:28:41And I was like, well, he did a lot of crazy, awful things to you. He betrayed you a ton and you continued to forgive him. And you kept trying to teach him how to love you correctly. And the thing that's so difficult is that like, as humans, it's like when we first start dating people, we're not showing them all our bad right away, right? So we get attached to each other early on. And then when the bad starts coming out, we're already attached to each other. So it can be really hard for us to like pull away. And so when these other sides come out, you instead of just being like, I got to leave, we think we got to teach them how to love me correctly.

1:29:16And sometimes sometimes I can work. But most of the time, it's this never ending game of making yourself crazy of just like trying to figure out what way you can communicate with them. Is it softly? Is it in the morning? Is it aggressively? Is it nicely? What's, what is it going to be that they'll finally start like getting it and respecting me and like, like showing me with actions. And the answer is it won't. You'll just end up being the worst version of yourself and screaming towards the end of the relationship until you finally are done. But sorry. No, I think that was really good. I'm just, I'm sitting here, like I'm soaking it all in and I'm like, I'm just, I'm thinking because yeah I think like if there's small issues early on yeah you can fix a lot of those you can learn how to communicate you can learn what each other needs from the relationship but if you get down the road to a point especially once a baby's involved and they're still not getting it you are expressing your feelings and they're still not hearing you or they just don't care they don't care then I do think it's a disconnect because love, like, love is work.

1:30:28And like, yeah, you can choose to like put effort in and like work on your relationship each and every day. I know there's a lot of relationship experts out there that like love isn't easy. But for me, love has not been this hard. Like love has been very like, honestly, it has been kind of easy. Like, have we had difficult moments early on? Yeah, we're blending two families. We're learning out how to navigate the holidays we're learning this and that about each other but like which should happen by the way that should happen that's growing if you're not growing in a relationship like that's not realistic either like or you're just gonna pretend if you're not gonna have any fight like there's there's somebody is like keeping to themselves yeah it's two humans very complex yeah you joining life to fight like Justin has always said because I got nervous about like some big fights early on and he was like no like fighting's not bad like you do need fights to grow They can be constructive and help.

1:31:25But like, again, like you shouldn't feel like a broken record. You shouldn't feel like you're sacrificing your needs being met and you just feeling terrible because your partner really doesn't care about you. Yeah. Even after a baby, even after you sacrifice. So let's get really into this. So what OP was talking about at the beginning of this whole post was called sitting the month. So this is a Chinese tradition after childbirth. It's usually about 30 days. It can be longer and it's a confinement period. There's a beautiful Chinese way to say it. I don't even want to butcher it. zhou yu zi i'm not sure but it's essentially sitting the month it emphasizes rest and recovery for the mother the mom is like supposed to have so much help the mom actually gets like massages every day to like compress the womb and it's just this beautiful thing they eat certain foods they get pampered you're not supposed to go outside you're supposed to sit in your pajamas you're supposed to be zen this is like what i expect like absolutely this is what i want yeah this is what i need i think every woman needs this yeah deserves this shouldn't settle for less the fact that he dragged her to the beach how many days after a traumatic birth and c-section No, it's so bad.

1:32:50I was honestly thinking that 14 fucking days. Yeah. And I was two weeks. I was thinking that he was going to spin it as like this is for so that you can get sunlight. It'll be healing. 35 mile per hour wind with a newborn baby. Three hours disappeared with car keys in the pocket. Oh, my God. I'm hitchhiking home. I'm leaving. I mean, this fucking woman went through hell. Three hours. Do you understand how long it is to sit at a beach for three hours? It's a Harry Potter movie. In a healthy world without a newborn? I don't even like being at the beach that long. Okay, well, that's where we differ.

1:33:33But I do feel your anger. Newborn. Didn't breathe for eight minutes after being born. No, it's insanity. C-section. cut open sleeping on the couch sleeping on the couch and doing all the night feedings without any help this motherfucker's laying in bed getting eight peaceful hours unreal I like if you break apart every single piece of this story working out from 2pm to 6pm four hours and she can't even get 30 minutes without the baby crying halfway through and then she's gotta wear the baby in a fucking baby carrier or a little baby Bjorn because he can't be bothered. You know, like situations like this make me sad that she can't just like disappear with the baby legally.

1:34:18Like the fact that you have to still like interact with this piece of poo sucks. This is the poo that should get pushed down the drain with the toe. Toe the fuck out of this lawn. Get it out of here. That was quick. I like that. Okay. Okay, I'm clearly very unhappy with this one. This man is ill. This man, oh, this man, what does he deserve? To date Pooh Girl. He deserves to... Pooh Girl doesn't deserve that either. No, no, no, no. God, Pooh Girl's gross, but not this bad. He deserves to be put in a big bathtub with a thousand leeches. Wow. Yeah, that's... Yeah, that's dark. That's not that dark.

1:35:08Thank you. Could have been way darker. If Mikayla was here, she would have came up with something really dark. Mikayla would have killed him. In detail. So we have an edit. Edit for clarification. That's what it says. We talked about every incident and he genuinely feels bad about how he behaved and has been spending more time with the baby with every talk. I fully know that I'm a doormat and have been working on it with my therapist, and it was really hard for me to even express my postpartum needs with him. He does financially support us and has spent a ton of money on baby gear and gadgets that helped make nights and feeding easier for me, bottle washer, nicer pump bottles, etc.

1:35:55Easier for you. Yeah, there it is. Why is he not fucking helping? He's a dad. Yeah He's a dad That's made it easy Takes two That's made it easier for all of us Is what it should be Because he should be doing He should be doing that So he wants to support the family financially But not emotionally Not physically He wants to have a puppy He wants the cute little puppy baby Like God And since the beach day He's greatly decreased our outings with the baby He has also been holding the baby at night For a couple of hours From 9 p.m. to whenever he goes to bed so I can sleep. I don't forgive him. He's also been on paternity leave this whole time.

1:36:37Wow. Just throw your computer into the wall. Burn the Christmas trees down. Sorry, guys. Light this place on fire. I read that right. I read. Yeah. He's also been on paternity leave this whole time.

1:37:00so he's not working Justin come here and he's getting eight hours of sleep and he's not feeding the baby he can't he can't even hold the baby for 30 minutes while you work out meanwhile he's on paternity leave and gets four hours to work out oh well he's decreased the outings you and your fucking baby shouldn't be going anywhere You're supposed to be sitting the month. Sit the month. He can't even heat up a microwavable meal that she already meal prepped and froze. Someone give this man a vasectomy so he can't do this again. Or to anyone else. I like the fire in you, yes. I'm gonna fucking get myself canceled.

1:37:45I want to -

1:37:50That's so bad. That's so bad. Can you help? I just, um, I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost you. Like you're in a different, you've, you've gone somewhere. I'm in the inside. Yeah. Inside out movie. Yeah. I'm the little red man. Oh my God. The red man. She's a, actually, I think it's, I think little red, little red guy. The little, okay. That's who I am. Yeah. I am him. He is me. Wow. Anger. Um, she's not done. Oh, after the whole, he's been on paternity leave this whole time. Also, I don't have any family I can stay with right now, and my friends have all recently moved out of state.

1:38:32That's so tough. Isolation. Oh my god. What? There's another update. That was the edit. We have an actual update. I don't know if mentally I can handle it. Update. We talked this morning and he said that I'm punishing him for things that happened months ago and that it's unfair that I won't forgive him or see his support in other ways. He said that I'm the problem and that I always need someone to be angry with. I brought up his sister and he dismissed it as me needing to compare my life with other people. I told him I feel like I ask for so little and that he's not listening to me. And he said, I just fixate on everything he doesn't do.

1:39:17Yeah, because he doesn't do shit. So classic. I just feel so unseen. He said he would love to give me time to go do things I want to do, quote, except you don't have any hobbies. He said, if I gave you two hours right now, what would you go do? And I said, I have to clean the bathroom and do laundry. He said, I'm allowed to treat him like shit when I'm hungry and sleepy, and he always forgives me. I do get very standoffish and short when I'm both hungry and sleepy, but I can't forgive him for something he did so long ago. We're speaking a little in riddles. Towards the end here. What did he do so long ago?

1:40:02Did he cheat? Is he at the gym four hours every day, or is he with a girlfriend? I feel like she's trying to say so long ago as in the two because he started off saying that like she can't let it go from how he acted right after the birth. I don't know. A little bit a little bit of a riddle here at the end. But I mean, the comments just go crazy. Like it's again and again, just like please be done. Like, please be done like this. You're already a single mom. Like, oh, he says, if I gave you two hours, what would you do? And it's like, I'd clean the bathroom. That's so messed up that he said that too.

1:40:42Like, you don't have any hobbies. So you don't deserve time. Yeah, literally. It's like, none of your business, bitch. I'll sit in a corner and stare at a wall rather than be next to you for two hours, you asshole. I would take a nap and that is perfectly acceptable. Yeah. Consider I'm doing everything else. Maybe I would have some hobbies if you weren't such an incompetent piece of shit. Yeah Maybe then i'd have some hobbies. I love that Maybe I would have the peace of mind being able to leave our child with you Yeah, knowing that you weren't gonna pop it in a baby bjorn and then not be able to handle Them when they're crying.

1:41:19Yeah Can't even work out for 30 minutes because you're so incompetent. I wish you could say this to him How can we somehow get this message delivered to his face? I don't know and I don't think we're gonna get any updates past this I mean OP deleted their whole account like I just hope that like if anyone out there hears this like this isn't okay someone can provide for you financially but they should still be expected to be a parent 100 % like you both committed to having children like you both signed up for that Yeah, I actually just saw someone post recently about when you are talking about kids with somebody that you're dating to really dive in and ask all of these detailed questions.

1:42:07Like, how do we divide up responsibilities? Like, what do you think for like punishment if like a child's doing something that's not appropriate? Like, like actually asking all these questions beforehand will give you so many answers. It's so important. And I just think I've never even considered that. Like I like when I was dating didn't even consider really like asking people if they wanted kids. Like unless they said I don't want kids. Then I just was like oh I just assumed like I don't I don't know. I just didn't really ask those type of questions. And I just think it's like such a good idea to do so.

1:42:41Because I mean obviously OP like you you know you got your baby like out of this marriage. And so that's wonderful. but like this guy is probably not your guy long term and the fact that he only temporarily started acting better and then went right back to being like you don't notice any of my good things you're just calling out my bad things like star votes he's deflecting and yep putting it back on you exactly i also am getting now like kind of hearing more too like i'm getting some financial abuse like you should have been able to just go and buy that$200 massage yeah you just had a baby truly it's like the least that you deserve so frustrating like you shouldn't have to ask to go spend$200 on yourself after having a baby yeah for both of you so I'm getting a lot of red flags so if this is ringing any alarm bells for you guys like please know you deserve better this is not not it I don't think I've been this distraught from a story in quite some time no I like literally like I said I lost you for a minute I don't know if you even knew I was here to be honest Justin's like sitting over there like I don't know what he's doing I didn't read this fully video game or something I didn't read it fully like again like I'll read some of the titles and then get to a certain point and I'm like yeah it's good enough okay this is really this is I didn't read I sure as shit didn't read the update like yeah Justin I know Justin popped in for this like last little bit he's like not reacting at all to anything and like his he doesn't have earplugs in do you want come in come here it's not too late come here come give your celeb take please be the male voice of reason I was just making jokes I don't want Morgan to punch you.

1:44:32Oh yeah. Did you hear me say that? He's so happy playing. I said, Jesse, come here. We need a face to punch. No one's going to punch you. It's just a joke. Okay. He's going to come in for a celebrity take. I'm going to move and then we will have the palate cleanser. I've never been this like razzled before. Razzle dazzle. I mean, I mean, am I the palate cleanser? Yeah. Is that why I'm here? I don't know why I'm here. Because the people like seeing you. You're a friendly face. Yeah, it's cool. I'm here. Hi. But like, I don't know why. They're going to have to go a whole week, maybe even two weeks without seeing you.

1:45:13But now they get to see you because you jumped in. You know, I had part in the trees. So, yeah. Doing great. I'm like scared. I have like stage fright. I have anxiety right now. I feel unprepared. Morgan's face is behind the camera Is great too This is going off the rails guys It's great It's a G episode, we've been off the rails Two hot rails I offered I offered prior to this story To sit right there with a mic in my hand And no one seemed excited about that I didn't know that It feels like I'm being thrown in at the end Like here you go You said it too quietly. We didn't hear you. No, it was heard and acknowledged.

1:46:01Is my face turning red yet? Any Christmas plans? Seeing family? Friends? This is going downhill quick. Okay, any thoughts on the story? I don't know the story. Okay. Okay, adios. This episode is brought to you by Nintendo. Everyone's version of Me Time is a little different. That's why the Nintendo Switch 2 system is so fun. With exclusive and Nintendo Switch-compatible games like Mario Kart World, Animal Crossing New Horizons, Nintendo Switch 2 Edition, Tomodachi Life, Live in the Dream, or Yoshi and the Mysterious Book, there's something for every vibe. And with upgraded hardware, play at home or on the go, whenever the mood hits.

1:46:48Learn more at Nintendo.com slash Nintendo Switch 2. Games and systems sold separately. Some Nintendo Switch games may not be supported or fully compatible with Nintendo Switch 2. Games rated E for everyone. But here, here. But, okay, here we go. Here, here. Here, here. Four score 20 years ago. Here we go with the palate cleanser, my friends. Because we are certainly not going to end on that note. So, this is titled, My Dentist Asked Me Out. Not sure what to do. It's not in my spreadsheets. It sounds familiar, but it's not there. So here we go. I went to a grocery store over the weekend and saw my dentist, which was a little weird, but she recognized me and came up and said hi.

1:47:35We had a little chat and it was nice because human contact is so non-existent nowadays. Then she said she had to go and asked for my number. I figured she needed it for dentistry reasons, if I'm being honest, but I probably should have figured out it wasn't for that. Anyways, after I got home, she started texting me with casual stuff. Eventually, we talked about how I'd never read Harry Potter or seen the movies. And she said, Did you pick this one for me specifically? Yeah, a lot of them I picked just for you today. And she said, quote, We could grab some food and I'll watch them with you, followed by, if you want, about five minutes later.

1:48:19I haven't responded and it's been 30 minutes. If she wasn't my dentist, it would be an absolute yes. She's hot and she's fun to talk to. I know we share a couple of hobbies too, which is always nice. On the other hand, I'm 90 % sure they aren't supposed to ask their patients out. I always thought she was being a little flirty sometimes, but like I said, I don't think they're supposed to do that. So I never took it as flirting. So I guess what I'm asking here is what the hell do I do? I don't want to cause problems with her career, but I also would really like to date her a lot. Find a new dentist, idiot.

1:49:04Boy brain versus girl brain. Come on. Love of your life. Oh my God. Over finding a new dentist. Over a once a year that you probably go in every other year, let's be honest. I'm sorry, what? I'm talking to the guy. How often do you go to the dentist? I don't know, like twice a year. Okay, yeah, you're good. I'm like, Lauren, you're supposed to be going every six months, girl. I know, I actually should be going every quarter because I have gum issues, honestly. I don't have dental insurance and going every six months is cheaper than spreading out longer because then you get a cavity and cavities cost way more to fix.

1:49:41That makes sense. If anyone needs a good dentist around the LA area, Dr. Bradley. Matthew. Don't, don't overbook him because I still need to go there. I know I was going to say that's risky. He's just such a good dentist, like such a good dentist. He's incredible. I like went somewhere here when I first like needed a dentist out here because mine in Minnesota retired. This dentist told me I need like four crowns. I had seven cavities. I went to him and he's like, you're fine. You need one crown. That's it. I'm like, con artist, savior. Like he's so good. So I get in that breath, I'm like, okay, I get finding a good dentist and not wanting to lose them.

1:50:28But Harry Potter and love of life and hot and similar hobbies. It's a no brainer. It's a no brainer. So top comment. It's easy to find another dentist, but it's hard to find a good wife. Also, it's not worthy to mention how up close she has been with him. She already has an intimate relationship with his mouth and still had the balls to ask him out at the supermarket. Bravo, madam. Yeah. Someone goes, you fucking go out with her and eventually become her trophy husband. What the fuck is wrong with you? Say yes. Someone does decide to quote the ethics code from the American Dental Association. 2.G.

1:51:20Personal Relationships with Patients. Dentists should avoid intrapersonal relationships that could impair their professional judgment or risk the possibility of exploiting the confidence placed in them by a patient. She could lose her license for becoming sexually involved with an active patient. Yeah, no, they just, they need to not be. I mean, as long as she's not a bad dentist, it's not like just because she's sleeping with him. I feel like that would incentivize her more to do good dentistry work. It just doesn't work that way. Okay. No, I'm just kidding. I know that. But okay, we do get an update.

1:51:58You knew it was coming, right? You said palate cleanser. So yes, I was like, there better be an update. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. Jeez. I'll say yes. Sorry.

1:52:18That's really nice. I'm really, really happy for them.

1:52:27Sorry. That was a really great episode, guys. No, that's cute. Okay, what else happened? is that it no okay edit number two oh my god haven't raccooned in a while no it's actually making it look like you have like a glitter it's pretty beautiful yeah edit two we're going to watch harry potter on friday just need to decide what kind of food to order thank you for pushing me to say yes i honestly probably would have turned her down oh update three days later i know it's a different account. Got an auto mod message telling me I had to make a throwaway account. So here I am. I don't understand the rules.

1:53:11It's annoying. Anyways, the update that two whole people asked for. Me and you. Checking in. Yes. We got together, had some food and watched Harry Potter. That's about it, to be honest. In all seriousness, we hit it off pretty quickly. I kind of feel like we were already friends anyways. We usually talk a lot during appointments while she's getting all of her tools ready and such. So I know a little about her already, but not being in that setting made it easier to talk to her for sure. Yeah. Also confessed to a bunch of stuff, found out she's had a crush on me since my first appointment two years ago, and she was trying to figure out how to ask me out for a while.

1:53:54Also got to hear how she would purposefully try to get a light schedule when I was coming in so she could go slower and we'd have more time to talk, which I think is the cutest thing I've ever heard. A girl actually wanted to spend more time with me on purpose. Another thing, I thought there were three Harry Potter movies, not hundreds, but we got through two of them and have another date set up for tomorrow, so I'm not complaining. Also, I had to take all of the tests, so in case you're interested, Ravenclaw, and I have a wood mouse Patronus. She seemed happy with that. Don't know why, but she's in Ravenclaw 2, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.

1:54:37And lastly, the entire reason I made my last post. I talked to her about it, and I do need to find a new dentist, which kind of sucks, but it's understandable and worth it. Not like I'll be missing her or anything because I can just talk to her whenever now. Unfortunately, until all the dentist swapping is dealt with, We are just friends, but we both made it clear that we want to be something more spicy than that when we can. This might be too much information for some of you, but if I didn't include it, someone would ask. So no, we didn't have sex and no puns about oral were made. We were making out and she stopped it.

1:55:22She felt uncomfortable doing anything with someone that was still a patient. So we just cuddled and watched the movies instead. And I drove her home afterwards. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Oh, my kitty. It was probably the best first date I've ever had. I love being on this journey with you. So cute. That's awesome. I'm just like, this is so funny. So anyone who follows me on Instagram probably knows that I'm watching Harry Potter for the first time through. I just finished last night and like I'm floored. You've seen it all right? Yeah. Yeah I had no idea like when I was little I watched the first three movies when they came out in theaters.

1:56:07And you thought that's all there was. Well I just didn't like I didn't piece them together. I kind of thought that it was like these kids that would do these little side quests and then solve it and then you know. Do you think it that is but sure but no it's just like well I didn't mean it like that I just it's a book he used to read them in like elementary school well that's what I thought Harry Potter was apparently but I just like I couldn't believe one how sad it was in the other movies I never expected that I didn't think anyone would die I thought they were like kids movies and I also just didn't know it would all tie together like the way that it everything all of a sudden started making complete sense and I just thought it was so magical and I love fantasy and I love magic type stuff so I just thought it was so fun and I can't believe it's been so long and I just think it's really cool that I got to experience that and I I don't know what to do now that's like what I had been looking forward to is like watching more and now I just feel kind of like what now have you seen um it's a show called the discovery of witches no i think you start there okay the white queen i love love the white queen oh maybe you start there okay start there okay the white queen it's all i got people are ill i'm ill after that my brain i feel like i have brain rot i'm like What?

1:57:35What did I just put us through? I actually feel less ill. Okay, y 'all. Lauren wants this. Spoiler alert if you haven't seen Harry Potter yet. Goodbye. This is where we end for you. Love you. Thank you for being here. Yes. Yeah, that was a great palate cleanser. I will say the other day when you posted a picture of Dobby, the elf. Oh my God. I was like, damn, she's going to be wrecked. I was wrecked. I was so pissed. I can't even. And oh, he's a free elf. And then bam, done. Unbelievable, honestly. Sorry, spoiler if you haven't seen Harry Potter. I was going to say you should probably add a spoiler before that.

1:58:11You've had plenty of chances to see Harry Potter at this point. No, if somebody like I, no one ever spoiled Harry Potter for me, which is so cool. I don't know how. I don't know how you got to experience that and Game of Thrones in modern day without any spoilers. I don't know. Make that make sense. I don't know. And you know what's so crazy is like I truly did not know what happened to the point that I started thinking Harry Potter was going to die. Oh, yeah. I was like, he's going to die. Also, I feel like I need to give a spoiler again. Can you put a spoiler right before this? Insert spoiler.

1:58:47Please. Yeah, okay. We'll put a spoiler in for you. Okay. Amazing. Thank you. Okay. That's all we got, friends. Lauren will be on a Patreon episode this month Michaela's episode just dropped We've got one coming with Justin All about wedding drama And holy smokes Since we did the wedding episode Until now The most insane wedding stories have actually dropped That I'm like Wow Wow Wow Wow I want to do three more wedding episodes Because people are losing their minds But we can't Well we could But I won't I won't do that to you So there will be a good one over on Patreon but thank you for being here.

1:59:25Another episode, another week, another year. I mean, we're coming up to Spotify's wrapped and I'm like, I'm just feeling so blessed, so grateful. I just appreciate all of you. I appreciate all my amazing guest co-hosts. It's just been a wild, wild, wild year and I'm just beyond thankful. So thank you. If you noticed this episode, we have holiday trees on set, getting very festive. These trees are going to be looking for a new home very soon. So if you live in the LA area and you need a Christmas tree this season, please comment on the Instagram or YouTube. I'm trying to make sure people can get some trees.

2:00:16So. Huge. How are you going to arrange that? They're going to send me a message, and then I'm going to send it to them in an Uber. Seems easy enough. Love that. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. A little something special. That's cute. Maybe if I have time, maybe I'll drive it over to you if you're close. But how'd you come up with this idea? Just on the top of the brain. I like that. Yeah. It's cute. I know. These trees, let me tell you, me and Justin were fluffing them last night. My hands are raw. Raw, Lauren. Raw. It's like the tinsel. I don't know. to think yeah but thank you guys love you and until next time until next time bye you

2:01:18I hate Mondays. King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite? Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm. Hey, let's get back to work, please. But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. Taylor Hansen? Nice. Try one. Mmm.

2:01:39King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. There's nothing like it.

2:01:49Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross. Thank you.