268: Boy Brain Ft. ShxtsnGigs

28:51And so we talked about growing up, how she used to make me terrible instant coffee. He definitely just wrote shit down that day. Also not nice. Yeah. And then I pivoted into what I thought was a meaningful point about growth. But you really just like dogged on her. You didn't say like, This guy's not a good brother. I've watched my sister over the years go through some hard things and she's come out the other side just a new person, so driven and mature. And I'm so happy she's met her match with Tom. I know he's in it for the long haul. he loves her so much damn that was good I mean it's just like I get the point you're trying to make and show how far she's come and she's this great person now or whatever but it's like yeah she was married once before it didn't last long yeah I hope you're here for the long haul new guy yeah yeah wow because I can't be bothered for a third brother or not I can't be bothered I don't want to meet a third guy I'm not doing this again His take about like, oh, I don't think a wedding should just be about like fake happiness or whatever.

29:54That's literally what weddings are. That's exactly what they are. Literally. Who asked for brutal honesty on a wedding? No one ever. Just say fake nice shit. It's not therapy. That's what therapy's for. And that's where he needs to go. Yeah. Wow, he's a hater. It does seem like he's a hater. I was going to say, he does seem like he resents her. because like I feel like this goes beyond just not understanding social cues. Yes. Like you don't do this to someone unless you don't like them. This literally reminds me of, I watched the drama last week. Have you seen the drama? No, I've heard it's crazy.

30:32Oh my God. Yeah, this is giving the drama. Oh, the speeches at that wedding were horrifying. Oh. Yeah, it was a lot. Damn. It's so juicy. I need to watch it. I'll watch it when I get back. I want to see that and I want to see the little sheep movie The Sheep Detectives I have no idea what you're talking about It's with Hugh Jackman Oh I saw a billboard Animated I'm assuming He gets murdered Yeah it just came out It's about sheep Sheep Sheep Yeah they become detectives to solve their farmer's murder This sounds awful No it's got a 93 % on Rotten Tomatoes I don't believe that for a second are raving.

31:14They demand original content. We have to support. The Sheep Detectives. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Starring Hugh Jackman who dies. Well, he's in it briefly. He's in the middle of the poster. That's such a fake sell. That is a fake. But same how when they did Chris Brown and Stump the Yard. He died in like two, three minutes. It was a piss take. Yeah. Because that's why everyone wants to watch the movie. What a throwback! I mean, maybe he's in it a little longer than I'm expecting. The Sheep Detectives. Look at those little guys. Look at those cute sheep holding a magnifying glass. No, we're not tolerating this.

31:46I'm sorry. I will see it multiple times. Really? I'll tell you right now. Is that your bag? I guess. Okay, cool. My favorite movie is National Treasure. With flipping homeboy? Is it Nicolas Cage? Yeah, with Nick Cage? Yeah. That's your favorite movie? Top five for sure. I've probably seen it over 200 times. Between one and two. Damn. Why? I feel judged 100 % right now No My mind is blown That's why It's just good It's just like a feel good The music The scoring is really powerful I don't remember Love a Nick Cage movie I literally don't remember I do love a Nick Cage movie The Weatherman Banging movie Face Off Face Off Face Off isn't bad John Travolta John Travolta Yeah I watched that a lot When I was a kid I had that on VHS Fun fact What's the other one Where he like Lives a different life And then like He lives like the life That he should have lived Family Man.

32:41Family Man. Banger. Unreal. Banger. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a really good one. Yeah. He's a versatile guy. He's versatile. I don't know if National Treasure is in there for me. What's your favorite movie? My favorite movie is probably Whiplash. That's a great movie. I don't know if I've seen that one. The drumming movie. That's a great movie. No, I've never seen this one. You've never seen it? That's a great movie. No. Incredible. No, when you said drumming movie, I was like, drumline? No, I've never seen this one. Drumline, I've seen a lot of times as well. Okay, I'll put this on my list.

33:11Whiplash is phenomenal. Whiplash is intense. Yeah. Yeah, National Treasure is going to get knocked off the pedestal immediately. You know what's crazy? It has the same score on Rotten Tomatoes as Sheep Detectives. The 93 %? Crazy. Okay, how many reviews are we talking about? Sheep Detectives must have 11. It just came out. Yeah, I'm saying Sheep Detectives has 11 reviews. I don't know where I see how many. It should say in brackets next to it, like a number. Yeah, like a young 304 304 Yep, and then the popcorn meter rating 50 ,000 plus is 94 % It's Sheep Detective? No, that's your whiplash Oh, okay, nice Let's see about the sheep It's gotta be like 10 and 4 Yeah, I'm saying there's 11 reviews on there Ooh, it's actually up to 94 Oh, 95 % now This is impossible 44 reviews only though So it's got 250 more to go And we'll see where we end up Okay.

34:10This doesn't make consent. 95. 95%. I'm telling you. All-Star cast. It's a British movie, I'm assuming. They sound British. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like a British movie. It does sound like a British movie. The sheep detective. It's a British movie. Quintessential British movie. Yeah. USR signing that off. They're not signing that off. I'll tell you that for free. All right. I'm not going to watch it in theaters, but I'll - It's a plane movie for you. Oh, if it's on the plane, I'll watch it on the way home. Okay. I'll let you know my thoughts. Okay. Thank you. on the pod. Yeah, I'll tell you you're watching that shit.

34:41The Sheep Detective. I hate CGI talking animals. Really? I can't stand it. Really? God, what's another one that's out there? Lion King live action you weren't about? It wasn't too bad, but I knew what I was signing up for. Okay. More like Babe. I can't stand Babe. Babe? Yeah. Oh, that's iconic. I know it's iconic. I can't stand that movie. Do you know what my least favorite movie is of all time, probably? Chicken Run Oh wow That's deep Throwback The worst movie ever What a throwback Wow I don't know why I hate it so much I just hate it It's the same animation as Wallace and Gromit Wallace and Gromit Yeah That clay shit Stop motion Yeah It's so impressive though It is impressive Yeah I don't think I mess with the chicken Okay cool That's good to know No Top comment on the wedding one You're the asshole Overall vote Oh yeah yeah You're the asshole No brainer Are you fucking serious?

35:36insulting the bride are you fucking serious insulting the bride in your speech at her fucking wedding the most obvious asshole behavior I've ever seen and if you were my sibling our relationship would never be the same disgusting disgraceful behavior yeah he's a jerk he wants to be alienated boy yeah he's a top jerk yeah that's peak someone replies to that and says my first husband negged me in our wedding speech Mildly enough, like he said something about how he always hoped to make me happy because Sweeper's business is, as you know, universal. What a surprise that that marriage was over in 18 months.

36:17And I kind of dated my loss of faith in him to the moment he couldn't bring himself not to insult me at our wedding. And someone goes, sorry, I think that went over my head. Could you explain what this means as an insult? Yes, I took the words out of my mouth. I've never heard that. Sweeper's happiness is, as you know, universal. and someone responds, the implication is that she isn't happy. She makes everyone else miserable. So you'd better make her happy because it sucks when she isn't. It's a fairly common sexist trope and definitely not something you want to hear at your wedding. Oh, interesting.

36:54User's name is like Sweeper. So I think that's why they were... So it'd be like me going at my wedding to my husband being like, Justin's happiness is, as you know, universal. Mmm. Which still like kind of lost on me to be honest. It would have gone over my head in a speech. I'd probably see it as a compliment. Yeah, probably. If my bride said that to me on my wedding, I'd be like, oh, that's sweet. Oh, safe. Yeah. And then everyone else would be like, oh, what a bitch. I couldn't smile. I didn't hear, in the crowd. No, no. I'm like, what's happened? Weddings are stressful overall. Were you stressed at your wedding?

37:29No. Really? No. You were just happy, happy? Yeah, Dina was there. I don't think I was stressed. Everyone kept trying to like, I think I got stressed by people. The only time was people being like, are you okay? Do you need anything? Are you okay? And it was constant to the point where I was like, should I not be okay? Like, and it was one like person. I was just like, I need someone to like get him away from me because like I took my beta blocker. I'm chilling. Like I'm having so much fun. I go, no, no. It was like stuff went wrong. Like you just have to roll with the punches and like have a blast.

38:04Yeah. Nice. But I had a camel. A camel at your wedding? Yeah. Interesting. Why? I just wanted a camel. I wanted something different. I had beer donkeys. No. Just camel? Just wanted a camel there. Nice. So how did that play out in the wedding? I got married on my family's farm. Okay. So there was room for the camel. That's more context. Yeah. And beer donkeys, magician. What's a beer donkey? A little donkey that walks around delivering beer. the sheep detective thing is making yeah this is really adding up yes okay cool cool it fits now okay context yeah yeah that's a good one this episode is brought to you by nintendo everyone's version of me time is a little different that's why the nintendo switch 2 system is so fun with exclusive and nintendo switch compatible games like mario kart world animal crossing new horizons nintendo switch 2 edition tamo dachi life live in the dream or yoshi and the mysterious book There's something for every vibe.

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40:12Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Visit CashApp.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. But again, moving on to this next one. You have started a new segment on your show Called Daddy Fantasy Oh yes indeed I was thinking what segment? Yes I have It's a hit I'm glad yeah Yeah my assistant Dina Is obsessed with it She actually told me you guys are doing it Megan's idea Yeah And I know I said thanks to Megan Because you read Fourth Wing Which I just finished all three I read all three of them in five days Really? Damn Yeah I was so hooked Yeah fantastic And now I'm like okay But you get the romantic fantasy book genres You guys understand it Okay, cool What's your favorite so far?

40:57Out of all of them? Yeah, that you've gotten into I would say my favorite so far Actually was probably What did we just finish? The third one Have you started now too? No, I listen Okay, you listen to his recaps Because I was like I think you said in the fourth wing one I watched You're like yeah, actually, I kind of want to read it now. Are you considering? Yeah, you listen to Fourth Wing. Or you just want to watch it as the show. Audible. So I've listened to Fourth Wing. I'm halfway through the second book. I can't remember what it's called. Okay. And I've listened to the first two of... ACOTAR?

41:33ACOTAR. ACOTAR's been a little bit harder for me to get into. The first ACOTAR book I thought was boring. That's where I'm at. Boring. The first, first bit of ACOTAR, I was like, damn, this is amazing. I was hooked When you first did The first episode Of Akatab book one I was hooked I was amazing But boring I actually think This one I just finished The third one Wings and Ruin Maybe I think so yeah Wings and Ruin The best I think Wings and Ruin Is actually my favorite So far Out of all of the There was a lot Going on Out of all of them Okay Okay cool So you thoroughly Understand them So you'll have a good take On this next one Fun This is coming from r slash relationship advice, and it's titled, My 35 female husband, 35 male, asked me to stop reading romance novels.

42:28Okay. Sounds like a hater. He doesn't look like, I'm intrigued. Okay. My husband, 35 male, of 11 years, asked me, 35 female, to stop reading romance novels. He said that he doesn't like that he's not the one turning me on. He hasn't said this in so many words But essentially he thinks it's cheating Okay The thing is He was just diagnosed with a porn addiction Okay Interesting Diagnosed is fucking insane By the way Who goes to get diagnosed for that? Where do you get diagnosed for that? I'm not stepping into that building You can't fucking make me I'd rather just say I am Put me on a notice board Yes, I love sex and I love porn That's it, it's over I'm not going to get an official diagnosis Let's just say I am And leave it there Well, he has had erectile dysfunction Due to his Overconsumption of porn I didn't know that was a thing And gorilla grip Masturbation techniques Sorry?

43:39You've never heard of death grip syndrome? No, what's that? You have to squeeze until it's like about to pop for you to come. To get... No. Gorilla grip or death grip syndrome. Death grip syndrome. That's how much he's fat. Yeah, he's beat his dick that much. Okay, fair. I would go see someone for that. I'm not going to lie to you. Yeah. I would be mortified. Yeah, 100%. He hasn't been able to finish P &V sex since we got pregnant with our kids five years ago. Okay. The last year or so, he hasn't been able to get or stay hard without porn and a tight hand. I had... My fucking tight. You're a great reader.

44:23Yeah, you really are. I had HG when I was pregnant. The one and only time we tried to have sex, I vomited on him. We have had very little bedroom time since. I finally convinced him to see a doctor about this issue because he has been so incredibly depressed. He was diagnosed only a week ago and will have his first therapy visit in two weeks. Last year, I started going to a monthly book club. I normally read high fantasy books, but this club is for fantasy romance books. I started going to this book club as my own means of socializing. I have a difficult time making friendships because I have autism, only so much energy to spend on people outside of my family.

45:01This once-monthly book club has been amazing because it's a scheduled two hours. I have loved feeling like I belong and actually contributing to discussions. I look forward to seeing my friends, and I feel like my mental health has really improved because of it. Since starting going to this book club, my libido has increased steeply. I always turn to my husband, but he is frequently unable to provide what I need with his ED. When things don't work out with him, I lose my interest in chasing an orgasm. We both end up feeling rejected and dejected. Today, he asked me to stop reading romance novels altogether.

45:44After writing this out, I can now see that he's likely feeling a lot of pressure from me. I don't want to lose my friendships. I also don't want my husband to feel inadequate or like I don't care about his emotional needs. I'm trying to figure out a reasonable and rational way I can keep my once monthly socializing with these friends while respecting the current needs of my husband. He has not stopped or even slowed down his porn consumption or masturbation. Since his therapy session isn't for two weeks, we don't have anything to go off of. He's banging them out. He's got two weeks to really smash these out.

46:25Okay, I get it. I'm feeling a little lost on the best course of action for the both of us. What do you think is reasonable going forward? Right. What a relationship. That's fascinating. That really is juicy. What I'd give to be the therapist in this situation. I'll be foaming. Both of you getting in. Yeah, I'll be foaming. Let's hash this out. All right. So homeboy. I can understand his perspective. He's down and out. He's clutching at the wrong straws. However, for one, you can't compete with a 700-year-old high fey. You just can't. You can't. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With shadow magic. It's not possible.

46:59Dragons and dragons and all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they fuck their women. They fuck and they fight. He doesn't need them. He just squeezes his dick until it's about to pop. That's the best he can provide. I can understand how he feels. It's a horrible truth, but in his mind, yeah. The more she reads, the hornier she gets, which she has to just consistently get reminded that he has ed yeah and then he just feels more embarrassed so in his mind he's like well if you just stop reading it then you'll stop trying to fuck me and then you'll stop being reminded that i have a porn addiction and can't get hard for you until i can start doing these therapy sessions and then we can get into it but for the next fortnight i need you to put the books away but what about him not that's like stopping oh yeah That's where the compromise is at.

47:49That's why in his mind, he's like, yeah, but I'm sick. So I need this. I need this so I can wake up tomorrow. I need something to look forward to. So you can't stop my ED or you can't stop my porn addiction. This has been me my whole life. You just started these books. Facts. You just started the books. It's been two months. It's been 12 years for me. I'm an addict. Have you seen my forearm? My dick is black and blue. It's not as easy. Honestly, I'm surprised it's not. It must be a mess down there. It must be. Death grip. Death grip syndrome. I've never heard of that. Yeah. Why did she vomit on him?

48:23Oh yeah. What was that about? Because I was going to ask about that. What is that? HG is hyper amesis gravidarum. It's this thing that can happen when you become pregnant where you just have morning sickness, intense vomiting the entire pregnancy. It's just constant. I see. So she had that HG and then they tried to be intimate and she accidentally threw up on him. I see. That was the last time they actually had sex. Fuck. Kind of by the sounds of it. Yeah. This whole thing is a mess. Yeah. We really need to get back to ground zero. I find it. I was going to say, I find it difficult that she didn't know he had a porn addiction early, but obviously he would hide it.

49:01I would hide it if I had a porn addiction. 110 % I'd hide it. So it's like, it's hard for, no pun intended, but it's hard for him to come out with that kind of information to anyone, let alone your partner. Yeah. And then a therapist on top of that. I know, I wish we had like a phone a sex therapist button right now because I'm like, I just feel like I've had so many questions about the way guys look at porn lately where I'm like, do guys realize that porn isn't real? Oh, is that a genuine question for us? Yeah, like do you think the average guy watches porn and is like, that's not acting, like that's real?

49:37Yeah, 100%. It's hard for a guy to conceptualize the acting part. Okay. Because it's like. They're seeing it happen. Yeah, especially for a guy, because we have to remember as well, in order for a guy to engage in sex, he has to get hard. So if I'm watching porn and the guy is hard, my mind is like, well, he's not acting. He wants to be there, because otherwise he just wouldn't be able to get hard. Especially if you're watching it from like 13, 14. That just is instilled in your brain. So crazy. So I can see that they probably do think like, yeah, it's real. To an extent. To an extent, you hope.

50:12I mean, you hope. but like we come across it on Reddit all the time with like all of these like porn, like my boyfriend's hiding porn from me or like the new one is my boyfriend is talking to an AI girl. Okay. That's ridiculous. And having a relationship sexually with AI. That's ridiculous. I would love to know the T, but that's ridiculous. No, that's like, that's where we're getting. I just did it on episode and it's like, she found out her boyfriend is sexting AI. Okay, what the hell is going on? and so it's like where like where's the line that's a desperate need for um i don't know affection then i guess that that sounds like a different beast altogether i know texting sexting yeah sexting yeah yeah i don't know about that one i know and is it cheating or is it not cheating since it's ai it's 100 in the same yeah same realm yeah yeah that's i mean that's it's like an emotional affair in a sense.

51:08I don't think Homegirl, because he said he feels like she's cheating on him with these book things. Oh yeah, that's crazy. That's ridiculous. That's crazy. He needs to grow up. He essentially thinks it's cheating. No, he's... I feel like he is lashing out with that one. I think he's just saying stuff. I don't think he believes that. A book club. Facts. You're cheating. What do you think? The character's going to jump off the page? Yeah. And fuck me? She wishes. Literally. She wishes. Yeah. Someone needs to. I mean, it'd be better. Facts. Oh, that whole... I feel sorry for both of them. I feel miserable for both of them.

51:42That's so horrible. Top comment on this one brings up a really good point, though. Ask him if he was thinking of you and your needs every time he watched another woman have sex on screen. Yeah, of course. Ooh. Because it's like, in his head, he's like, you're envisioning yourself with these characters. That's what's doing it for you. Well, what about when you watch porn? Are you putting my face on them? Like, are you thinking of me? That's interesting. But also, is he putting himself in that scenario with the porn also though? Because again… Or is he just a voyeur? Yeah. That's interesting actually.

52:17That's a good take. Because when I've watched porn, I don't imagine I'm there fucking the girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a visual stimulus. Watching it. Yeah. Fun fact, I haven't watched porn this year. Well played. I'm over it, dude. Well played. That's pretty good. I'm over it. It's boring. Yeah, we're almost halfway through. Yeah. Yeah. And the thing is, there's just like, I'm just, I think, I don't know. You're good. I'm just over it. It's just like boring. As a guy reading the romantic fantasy books, do you kind of have a concept like now to like kind of combat what he's saying where it's like, there's no way it's cheating.

52:50Like it's just so, because like I tried to describe it to my husband where he's like, because I, you know, read Fourth Wing and I'm like, oh my God, this book is so good. He came home from a trip and I ignored him for like two days because I was like, let me just finish my book first. but like he obviously isn't threatened by it but trying to explain what these books do it's like you just get lost in the world but I'm not wishing I was that character you know what I mean I understand entirely it's also I also think I have like a different perspective because as I'm reading it it will be like Violet speaking but like I can't identify as Violet exactly so because I'm like a straight guy.

53:32So like hearing a girl talk about like her experience in like banging her boyfriend or whatever, I'm just like, nice. Nice. Decent. So it's, I can't, but I'm not there like, what's he going to do next? What is he going to do next? Yeah. So again, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, again, if you're just like, I'm just, I'm just happy for the characters when they get after it. Yeah. Yeah. And I get absorbed in the like, turned on-ness of the environment of the storytelling. But yeah, again, I'm not in that scenario. So I can see, I can definitely be like, the dude just needs to grow up.

54:10I know. I did have a story that I found recently though, where the person is obsessed with the romantic fantasy books and accidentally said the character's name during sex. That's my line. Yeah. No. We can't come back from there. Like then you're kind of going… We can't get back. It's past fantasy. Yeah, it really has jumped off the page. Yeah, wow. We can't come back from that. But what about role playing? Like if your partner knew upfront and then committed to the bit with you, then I'm like, okay, fair game. Role playing for me, again, is… I would be down with the role playing. If she asked me to be Zayden, for example, I can only be Zayden one time.

54:58I have to be Zayden one time. Then I need to be flipping Tamlin one time. Then I need to go and be Reese another time. Like we can't always be like, be Zayden again. You're Zayden again. I'm going to call you Zayden again. Yeah, yeah, you're Zayden. It's like, no. Because then it feels like, no, you're trying to be Zayden. I mean, you just want to fuck someone else. I just want me to pretend to be him. But role playing in general, like, cool, great. But I'm not going to be the character for you every time. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah, one and done. That's like fair. It's like we tried it, but like I'm not taking on this persona permanently.

55:32Yeah, literally. So you can say Zayden in bed every night. That's not happening. No. I would lose interest immediately. As soon as I hear Zayden, I'm tapped out. I'm tapped out. Has anyone accidentally said the wrong name with either of you? Impossible, no. Really? No, I would never go over it. I would never forgive her. Straight, simple. I would never. Because where are you right now? Where are you? Because you're not here I'm inside you When I'm thinking of him You're not present with me No that's a nightmare That's my worst I can't think of anything worse than that I've done it before Shut the fuck up To my husband When we first started dating I was so drunk I like literally I didn't Yeah Just wrong names Slipped out Sorry Who did you say?

56:22Like one of my guy friends names No No You're joking Do you like him Did you like him No No Like Purely friend From the jump Of meeting him And I didn't remember it Like I He told me And then I was like What the fuck I'm like I'm so sorry Like I had no idea The next day So I'm like Okay well Like I'm trying to rationalize Why I would have said that But Yeah Again Your husband's a real man Yeah Yeah No That would break my heart I know He's a good one Have you ever gotten like a hey dude message on Instagram or anything? No, I haven't and I can't. That, when you see that, like, hey girl. Have you had it before?

57:04Yeah. No. Yeah. And you just feel your stomach just drop. No, no, no. My blood would run cold. Oh my God. You just like immediately clammy. Fuck. Like you're nauseous. You're like, what the fuck? Yeah, he was at my house last night. Oh, those guys are the worst, dude. I'm just like, oh my God. No! I can't receive one of those. I know once this comes out, all I'm going to get is those. Yeah, yeah, yeah, facts. All I'm going to get is those. No, I can't. I can't. I just can't. I just can't. It's so crazy. If you're listening and you found out that your partner was cheating on you some crazy way, like your dog found her underwear, whatever it is, please put it in the comments.

57:45Because I know some of you out there have definitely... Apple Watch, I feel like, is becoming more common. I couldn't be betrayed by my Apple Watch. Like something about like, oh, he closed his rings at like 2 a.m. And by like vigorous activity, like something like that. Like, yeah. Yeah. You know, that's out there. Really? Okay. Wow. There's different methods. Drop it in the comments. Vigorous activity. Yeah. Oh, I must have been beaten. Can you imagine? Can you? Okay. Check this. Imagine you're happily married. That thing is linked as well, isn't it? Yeah. Imagine you are happily, happily married.

58:20Fuck. and then you coincidentally see your wife checking her like aura ring results and at 2am there's a spy connectivity While you were out of town for work. 2am, there's a huge spike. I'm confronting her. I don't know what I'm saying though. Because it's like... It feels crazy. Like going to someone and being like, your aura ring has some activity. Like you would feel nuts. I feel like I'm stupid. Yeah, it should make you feel stupid. She will. She will. Yeah. And that would annoy me even more. Yeah, but we both know what this is. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's an absolute nightmare. My biggest fear.

58:57No thanks. Yeah, it was bad. A lot of comments on this one People just asking like Clarifying questions Why does sex have to stop When your husband's erection stops Are his hands And his mouth working? Valid That's I forgot That came to my mind As we were reading actually Really? Yeah Like why is he still not Where's the oral at man? I Selfish Yeah I would think that If I had ED That would be like my What would make me feel Super Because obviously This is like a Someone's actually asked me this And they were like Oh how would I want if I had ED how would I want to be addressed about it one thing that I would really really really prefer is if she was very selfish with her nuts and was just like okay cool your dick doesn't work but your mouth and your hands do so like what are you doing about it that would set me at so much ease yeah because the pressure's off yeah the pressure's off and we can draw attention away from this thing and the more attention we bring to this thing the worse it's just going to get question call one Obviously, not obviously, but you have ED in this situation.

1:00:00Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're pleasing your girl. Mouth, fingers, are you taking your boxes off? To just see? Because naturally, naturally you would, yeah. I would like to hope so. I mean, honest, I would like to hope so. I wishful thinking maybe, but I would like to hope so. To just say they're soft. But you have to get comfortable. Yeah, you do. This is who I am right now. I have to get comfortable with it And that's the best way Like exposure therapy dude If I keep the boxes on Then this is like You're clearly hiding something You're clearly hiding something I have a mental block Knowing that I'm still scared to see I might as well just get naked And be like I'm just soft And that's who I am I'm a soft guy Yeah it could help To taking him off With like Okay I'm gonna really Get into the bit I'm going for it Maybe it would encourage something Yeah hopefully Imagine you get a boner That is well Happiest day of your life Oh you would I wouldn't act on the first boner though Oh, you couldn't.

1:00:57No, no, no. I'd be too scared I'm going to lose it. That's like a pump fake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a hezi, yeah. No, no, no. So you just slide it in? Yeah, it's a tease. Yeah, it's a tease. Again, as soon as he knows I've acknowledged him, he's going to go away. Because that's all you're going to be thinking about. Yeah, that's all I think about. Oh my god, no, hard, hard, hard. Lose it. And then she's going to go through things. Just mouth and fingers until I surprise her. Chaos. Yeah, once that therapy kicks in. So we do get like an edit slash update from OP. I want to thank everyone for their support.

1:01:30There are some points that I wanted to address. First, he obviously does have hands and a mouth. I just feel immediately turned off if he's not also obviously visibly enthusiastic about performing those activities. Okay, he's a selfish lover. Also, at the risk of sounding too vulgar I usually end up with a yeast Or BV infection After he uses his mouth or hands What? So I avoid it Stop it Usually Bacterial vaginosis, yeah Or yeast infection, which I'm like What? Bro, it's just got dirty, dirty hands and mouth Do you know how embarrassed I would be If I went down on my garage and was like Now I've got BV, so now what?

1:02:16with your disgusting mouth. He sounds like such a hot mess. No wonder he's got a porn addiction. That's his only release because he's dirty through and through.

1:02:33Usually. Usually. After the second time, stop. Stop. You're hurting me down there. Stop, bro. I'll go see someone. That's fucked. I know. and so there's like a lot of conversation happening right now with BV sorry oh my god sorry a lot of conversation around BV yeah where a lot of people are like yeah every time I have sex with this guy I get BV again you're tapped in by the way well like I have a friend here who was literally like every single time she'd get treated for BV and then it kept coming back and she'd get treated again and then it would come back and she finally put it together that this guy, every time she would have sex with her guy, it would come back.

1:03:20And so while it's not classified as a STD right now, there's research that increasingly shows it is sexually associated and can be transmitted between partners. And so studies are showing that by treating male partners, it can significantly reduce occurrence in women. How do you treat for dudes? I'm pretty sure it's just antibiotics. Oh my God, really? Interesting. Antibiotics. Interesting. I thought it was just like dirty dick. Prescription, antibiotics, it can be a pill, gel, cream, or suppository. Suppository is crazy. That is crazy. Poppy the pill. Why is that even an option? Just give me the pill.

1:03:59Why is that an option? Well, if you think about a suppository, it's like a little pill, and then you just shoot it up like you would a tampon almost. It's like the same applicator. Oh no, for a girl, yeah, 100%. Yeah, for a guy. Yeah, you know, you'd have to shove it up there. Yeah, why is that an option? I'd just say the pill. I mean there's gel too Gel Yeah gel Oh okay Gel and cream That would make me so embarrassed It would I'd pop the pill But anyway yeah Yeah But that's what they add And then she does go on to say Second we are both trying to navigate things right now He started meds And he wasn't given any direction On how to stop these problematic activities He tried to stop the first few days But he literally stayed awake for 40 hours It's consuming him I honestly feel like this isn't Sorry, sorry, sorry.

1:04:44What's happening? The porn addiction. He was watching porn for 40 hours. No, he like tried to stop for a few days. Oh, and that kept him up for 40 hours. Can you imagine? I can't sleep. I need to know. I can't sleep. That's all I'm thinking about. 40 hours. Couldn't sleep. Put me in a hospital. I'm not leaving the hospital. Do they have kids? Yeah, they did. Yeah. She's pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had our kid five years ago. I would have left. Just one kid by the sound of it? I would have left. If you were her? Yeah, so long ago. She's very understanding because she does go on to say, I honestly feel like this isn't just a behavioral addiction.

1:05:27He needs support, love, and acceptance. She's a real one. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not pissed and hurt by it, but people who aren't in this situation can't truly appreciate the nuances to this kind of addiction. I'm not going to up and leave him. We are a family and I'm going to exhaust all of our options before leaving. Fair enough. I rate her, man. Yeah, same. That's a trooper enough. She's ride or die. Literally. Not on my time, bro. I'm gone. I'm gone. 40 hours. I couldn't see that. That would be the straw that breaks me. I love a nap. I'm like 40. Yeah, he can't sleep, bro. He can't sleep, can't eat, can't work, can't do anything.

1:06:02No, this is genuinely clinical. I think he should actually go to an inpatient rehab facility. Yeah, 100%. I don't think monitoring and handling this at home is going to do it. You need seven days, seven nights in one of these strapped things. Yeah. And just figure it out. Or like some mitts. Like, you know, duct tape oven mitts. That's so scary. That's tough. Yeah, I'm checking myself into rehab. 100%. Yeah. I don't think you would, though. Foohead. I don't think you would. I didn't sleep for two fucking days because I need porn. I don't think you would, though, James. Like, because... I think - Two days!

1:06:39I appreciate, I understand what you're saying, but I've heard you now hear me. I'm listening. I genuinely think the blockage would be, or the barrier would be, you having to tell whoever at the front desk why you want to be here. I think that would stop you from admitting yourself. Yeah, I would just tell my wife to do it for me. I need you to call these man, tell them that I'm checking in, tell them why I'm checking in. Cool, yeah, cool. And then just let's be discreet about it. Just put me in my room and then let's not - Yeah. And when we are doing the, hi, my name's James and I'm an addict, we don't need to fine-tooth comb it.

1:07:12We're all addicts here. Yeah, that's why we're here, aren't we? Yeah, you don't need to know that I need the gorilla grip, something, something. No, just like, dude, like, whatever. Do you feel like that's because it's something that's shameful? And is that because a lot of males' identities is tied to sex and performance? yeah i would struggle when it's when it's like when it's the talking time i would need to hear some horror stories for me to have the confidence to be like i haven't fucked my wife in god knows how long and i can't come unless i squeezed all the blood out my dick and i didn't i tried to go cold turkey from one and i didn't sleep for two days yeah um and now i'm i'm jealous of her fictional fairy characters that she reads in her local book club and i actually have the audacity to ask her to quit the book club because I just can't compete with fictional characters.

1:08:02Whilst I, and the two weeks before I started therapy, you guys have no idea how much fun I watched. Even though I'm in the same PA meeting as you. Yeah. I don't think you understand how much I'll be holding back a laugh. Okay, laughing, okay, laughing is a hot take. I think it would be, I think it would be the sheer shock factor of you being so nonchalant of how easily you can just blurt these things out. And I'll be like, damn, bro. I hear it. Because I actually, I also don't think it will be fair for you to move on. Or for like the person that's hosting the meeting, they have to stick with you all meeting.

1:08:39They can't be like, okay, now you, now you're like, there's too much information. Yours is tea. And I need to know how it ends. Yeah, it really is tea. But I'm not there to be judged. So if you laugh, I'm going to tell homeboy to kick him out. If I laugh, they'd have to kick me out. I'd have to go. I'd stand myself. But how I'd want to go is similar to you, like my wife or partner would have to bail them, but I don't want to know the date they take me. I want them to just pull up to my yard. Really? You want to be like kidnapped? Yeah. Just pull up to my yard. My wife's already got an emergency bag packed.

1:09:11Okay. It's time. And then boom, yeah. You wouldn't want to just voluntarily drive there and check in? Nah. You want to be taken? Yeah, just take me, bro. I think it only works if you're ready for it though, and you do volunteer. I think that would allow me to be like, okay, cool, it's go time. As opposed to thinking it's going to happen on Sunday. I mean, dreading. It's Wednesday. I know it's happening on a Sunday. I don't think I would stop watching porn. From Wednesday to Sunday. Yeah, I think I would watch an excessive amount. Because I know this is the last time I'm getting it. Which is kind of what he was doing.

1:09:39He's like, I know I have two weeks until my appointment. So like, I'm going to go for it. I'm going to have a roller coaster for him. Wow. His category list must be intense. Yeah, I was going to say, he must have run out. He must have exhausted everything. I don't know what kind of porn he watches. And that's also, like, what are you watching? What are you watching? Because there's levels, and if you're at a level I don't like... I hope they've had that conversation. I know. He's probably lied. I would lie. Yeah, I was going to say he's probably lied. Yeah. Just lie. Amateur. Yeah, because I don't think she's...

1:10:09Like, I wouldn't want to watch that. Yeah. Like, it's already so hurtful. I'm not going to watch you and the only thing that you're getting off on. OP does add She is going to put some boundaries down I told him that I will be continuing to read One book a month and I will be attending the book club Good for her I will not initiate sex again until at a time that we all Him, me, therapist Feel he is comfortable having healthy sex again See that, I don't like that bit As the man or the girl? Yeah, as the man, I can understand the necessity for that That adds so much pressure It's not even funny It does add pressure Really?

1:10:46The day we're in that therapy session and the therapist is like, okay, James, I actually think it's a healthy time for you guys to try. Yeah. My dick would be the limpest. Well, it doesn't have to be that day, but like at least you then get the clear. Yeah, but still, still. Because anytime she like touched me, I was like, oh my God, she's initiating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all I'll be thinking about. Rubbing my shoulders, whatever. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. It's time, it's time. Please, please, please. If I can't get hard, I'm just going to cry. Yeah. Yeah, I'm curious if there's any therapists out there that would chime in and be like, here's how the right way to go about it would be.

1:11:14So there isn't that pressure. So it feels spontaneous and organic. Yeah. Yeah. God willing, because that is stressful. OP says, I won't hide what I'm doing. I'm doing something that's healthy for me and I shouldn't suffer for it. He was naturally pretty upset to hear this. I think you guys are right that he's projecting, trying to grasp some control in the situation by making us equal in his eyes. I was too deep in it to see what was rational. Now that I can see it I'm not budging Luckily I have the autism To help me with that Thank you for helping me See what's healthy Nice Fair Good for her man Fair Him asking her to stop The book is crazy It is Can I play devil's advocate This is not my belief system Yeah yeah I would also be threatened By the double down of I'm not stopping Reading these fantasy books Mmm Because then In my mind I'm like So what is it This is Yeah this is It's not about the reading anymore It doesn't sound like It's about the reading It's about the sex It's about the sex and you deserve it because you're deprived.

1:12:14But again, I would be concerned because she's so adamant about this is the type of book I'm going to be reading. It's not just books in general. Yeah, it's not just the reading or the club. It's the fucking steamy hot fantasy books. That's what I want to read. In his perspective, based on what he's going through, I would be like, I would be scared thinking, okay, cool. He's a real addict. Yeah, does it? See, I'm in... No! That's what we'd be thinking. Who's a real addict? Who are you? See, for me, I feel like it's more about the club. She said it's about the club. Yeah, she did. I just want us to read different genres in this club.

1:12:53But that's not the club. Those aren't where her friends are at. They're not at the... So it's a sex club. The cookbook club. So it's a sex club. Who's a real addict? No, bad. No, we're playing devil's advocate. The devil doesn't need an advocate. clever that is clever fucking hell well played I've never heard that one really dead ass yeah thank you so much for saying dead ass really yeah why because I've been saying it for years and no one appreciates it and so to hear it come out of someone else's mouth is just very nice and refreshing oh nice oh wow thank you very much no one's ever appreciated me saying it I say dead ass all the time yeah we say dead ass a lot see I'm in the wrong country hey come hop across the pod we'll be happy to have you Okay, this next one.

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1:14:44So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on Credit Karma for less craziness and more credit. Which, how are you guys doing? Hanging okay? Yeah, we're good. This next one is coming from my good friend, DirectCaterpillar77, my bestie on Reddit that finds all the good stories. Oh, nice. Yeah. It's titled, My husband wants me to make breakfast for his coworkers three to four times a week before they go to work. Oh, my God. What? Okay. We've been married for almost four months.

1:15:23My husband works a fairly lucrative office job and is a great help with the finances and bills for our house while I tackle a BA at college at the moment. For that, I'm very grateful and I love him very much and we are generally happy with the marriage. However, about two months ago, he asked me if I wouldn't mind preparing breakfast for him and a couple of co-workers a few times a week. Of course, I agreed because I know how rushed things can be in the mornings for some people and I was glad to see my husband fraternizing with his colleagues. Also, we have a beautiful home, and it's always nice to have people over for meals.

1:16:01I get along with his co-workers very well for the most part, which is a plus. This has been going on for two months, and I didn't used to mind it much at first, but I feel that a couple of mornings a week has turned into nearly the entire week, and it's too much for me. Getting up early and preparing eggs, bacon, multiple pots of coffee when there are more than just a couple of coworkers over and occasionally stuff like pancakes and French toast? I attend night classes several nights a week and I don't get a chance to sleep in as much as I would like to. How do I respectfully tell my husband to tone it down a little with these morning visits without hurting his or his coworkers' feelings?

1:16:42I do not wanna jeopardize his relationship with the people at work and don't wanna push him or our visitors away. It has just become too much for me. This reminds me of the episode of My Wife and Kids, where Junior got onto the basketball team, and then all of his boys on the basketball team were just coming around his house and just murking the house. And they were just fusing him for all kinds of shit. Yes, I remember now. Sounds like homeboys getting played by his boys at work. He is. I feel like this is a hot take purely because she said he is lucrative. If he is lucrative enough to Find out his lifestyle Nice house All of that stuff Get someone to cook for you A couple days a week Don't use your wife That's cooking for multiple people every day Almost every day She also goes to school at night And then doesn't have enough sleep And still does everything else It's like That's beyond unfair Yeah If it's so important Just go take the boys to a diner every morning Like why does it have to be In the house every day And your wife has to do Let's go IHOP Yeah They have everything we need.

1:17:47Yeah. If it's important for you to like feed your colleagues, take them to a diner. They'll probably feel more comfortable there than watching your wife slay for you at seven in the morning. You would think OP does have some comments. So people were asking how many people is this for typically? Like, is this just one or two or like how, what's going on here? OP says about 20 people. Shut the fuck up. That's impossible. But they show up at different times. So typically within groups of two to four coworkers a time. That's impossible. This doesn't make any sense. You're running a restaurant in my yard.

1:18:23That's impossible. That's impossible. 20 people. What? That would have happened. If I'm the wife, that would have happened once and never again. The thing is, this is not even his business. Yeah. This is just his colleagues at work. Yeah. This is not him like running like a whole business. There's no money coming from this. Yeah. Yeah. What? They're in the west coast of the United States. So somewhere on this side. Originally from New York, we moved here from my husband's job 13 months ago. It's just a job. He doesn't own the company. So it's not like he's doing this for his employees. These are co-workers.

1:18:56They do this because they live five to 10 minutes away from the office. Most of the co-workers have a commute a long way to get to the office. Hence, they carpool from their area, arriving here in one car. No, bro. This is spiraled. No, bro. This is spiraled. They take my husband with him, and other times he offers up his car and drives three to four co-workers to the office. This guy's a doormat. He is. This is to avoid the parking fee. This guy's an absolute doormat. Wow, yeah, he needs to go some balls and be like, guys, this is actually getting ridiculous. Well, this is getting really weird, too.

1:19:29So they can actually take 15-minute breaks throughout the day at their leisure. Some of these co-workers are showing up to her house to pick up snacks and ciggies and then head back to the office. What is going on? I told you, this is the My Fing Kids episode. Yeah, they're taking the piss out of both of them. They're easy food. Yeah, he's a joke at work. They're spending about$350 a week to feed the co-workers. Okay, this is what I'm saying. After day one, it's never happening again. It's never happened. 20 people on the first day. I think it's accumulated to that, but like about 20 people is one of the comments.

1:20:07Getting the memo out that this isn't happening anymore. This sounds like one of those things where he's probably thought in his head, this needs to stop. But the idea of having to tell 20 people, you're not coming around anymore, will significantly affect his status at work. Yeah. And now he's probably thinking, I don't know what the fuck to do. Yeah, he needs an exit strategy. Or just move back to New York. Move. Just move. That didn't work out. That's the exit. Pack it up versus confronting everyone and being like, hey guys, we got to tone it down a little bit. Pulling up for snacks in the middle of the day.

1:20:41That's a fucking mistake. Who are you to me? Yeah. There's a comment that someone else mentions, but someone mentions that OP said that they show up and like tap on the window. That's exactly how I envision it. Let me in. Let me in. Like by tapping on the window. Service. I've only got 15 minutes. Where the Siggy's? I mean, Siggy's. Treat it like a restaurant. Yeah, it's peak. Siggy's and snacks. Hurry up. Fuck. I'd go crazy. I'd resent my husband. Oh, so much resentment Because she also says that she has to do all the dishes He doesn't help with any of the dishes So she's got pots, pans, plates, cups, everything This is happening four times a week No This is out of control That would have ruined my marriage Every single night I come home I'll be terrified I'll be terrified to face the version of my wife That would ruin my marriage So how do you get to stop?

1:21:31Do you just be like, hey honey, done doing this for you? If I'm her? Yeah, do you compromise and say, let's cut it back to once a week? Like, how do you realistically proceed forward? I'm shifting everyone to the closest diner. And for the next four weeks, I'm just paying. Paying, and then I'm going to slowly, one day, call a sick day. All the guys go to the diner. I'm not there to pay for it. Someone else is going to have to pay for it. And that's just how we change the culture from there. How you're rolling. Yeah, I think that's the best way to get out of this. Yeah, if I'm the wife, I'm just telling my husband after the first day, this is never happening again.

1:22:10Standard. I don't care who shows up at the door, there's not going to be food. The next person that taps this window, I promise. Yeah, they're going to hear that. They're going to hear it. They're going to hear it. Yeah, 100%. That's the first thing. Tell your boys if they tap this window again, I swear to God. They're going to hear that sawn off. Yeah, they're going to regret it. Top comment. Why can't your husband prepare these breakfasts? Also valid. Clearly. OP says, admittedly, I'm a better cook than him. And I never mind making meals for both of us in the mornings. Honestly, if it was just him and I, I could do it for the rest of my life.

1:22:44But it isn't just him. And I can't do it anymore. And he simply has no times in the morning. And he has to get ready to be at his office by 8am. Then he just wake up early. She does, she works, she goes to school at night. Then has little sleep to then wake up to cook for multiple men. 20? This is insane. What are you talking about, bro? Someone in the group also needs to address the weirdness of it. Yeah. Like, number 21, you'd hope, would be like, What the fuck is happening? Yeah, what do you mean we're going to Jeff's four times a week for breakfast? Doesn't make any sense. Why? What are their wives doing?

1:23:17Yeah, and why aren't their wives being like, You're not going there again. You're not going there again. For another woman to be cooking you breakfast. Who is she? What's so good about these fucking breakfasts? A lot of conversations aren't happening. Clearly. No. Yeah. This is a movie. This can't be real life. This is out of control. So we do get an update. Please. We get an update. I want to thank you all for who gave me advice and sympathy in the original thread. I had mentioned several times that I was going to sit down with my husband this Saturday and have a stern talk. But I'm sure a lot of you will be pleased to know that it happened much sooner.

1:23:51I decided to stay home from night class on Wednesday night so that I could speak to him as soon as he arrived from work. He was very surprised to see me still in the house, as I have night class every night of the week. I brought up many good points from the thread and told him how it makes me feel. I told him the three to four breakfast parties a week and co-worker visits through the day were keeping me from focusing on my studies. And that thinking of a menu every morning was stressful. Thinking of a menu! And it gave me anxiety. Also, the tapping on the window from random visits by his colleagues made me feel unsafe as well.

1:24:32They were all brought up by Redditors in the thread. And a lot of the points I had never thought about myself. There were tears and some loud moments. Loud moments? How has he got a voice? The first time this has happened since we've even been together. But when I told him I made a thread on Reddit, he went absolutely ballistic. Fair. Yeah, that's where the loudness came from. He's realized, oh, my life is in the public now. Yeah, even though it's anonymous, he's not thinking that. He's not thinking that. Oh, shit, they know what I'm like now. They know what I'm bringing to her table. I'm an asshole.

1:25:07At this point, I went to our bedroom and confined myself to the bed. A couple of hours later, he came in, got in bed, and said that he was very disappointed in me. Oh, that's not a disappointment. And that was that. And that was that? Yesterday morning, Thursday, everything was the same as usual. He woke up smiling and radiant as always and got ready for work quicker than usual. He came out to the kitchen while I was making the breakfast for the day and told me that he was glad everything had been cleared up. I gave him spare replies and didn't really feel like looking at him. He was shocked to see that I had only made a basic breakfast for him.

1:25:45Let's go. He told me other people were on the way and I told him I had to catch a bus to the library to do a research paper for class. We had a loud argument that stopped when people arrived at our house. I stormed out and went about my business. Let's go. No words between any of us since then. Today, I did the same, except I left the house while he was getting ready. Let's go. It is very sad that it has come to this, but I hope things settle down. My plan is to have another talk with him tomorrow morning and tell him that I am willing to cut the breakfast down to Mondays and Wednesdays only, and that all visits from coworkers are to end immediately because I do not feel comfortable with them using our home as a rest stop.

1:26:25You've all been very helpful. Thank you. There is nowhere to go but up from here. This guy's insane. He is insane. He's an artist. Mondays and Wednesdays. No, never again. It's never again. We're not compromising on this. I'm surprised she's still willing to. Yeah. To be like never again and then she's like, but I'll do it two days. No. That's insane to me. Like I would never. Wow. She is an angel. She is. And he's taking advantage. of that. He's taking the piss and wasting it on dickhead co-workers. Literally. Literally. He has all this love and kindness. You're wasting it on losers from work.

1:26:58She's going to burn out, bro. Who are taking the piss and tapping your window? Do you not? Why are you prioritizing how they feel over how your wife feels? Yeah, that's... Who gives a shit about these guys? That's insanity, bro. Oh, that is horrible. If they cared and liked you, they would be like, hey, buddy, you've been hosting now for months. Let me take one for the team. I get that a lot of them are commuted in but then find a diner nearby i'll take one hey buddy you've been spending thousands of dollars on us a month 350 a week so let us let us take care of you let's go to that's people's salaries bro yeah yeah they don't give a shit about him no they're using him the window tapping no i would i would scary that happens once it never happens again i know i wouldn't answer wouldn't answer anymore but that's so hard when you're home and someone starts knocking on your door and like you got a tv on it's like well how do i play this off i would i'll tell him what do you i would make that co-worker have the confidence to tell me exactly what he wants what do you want bro cigarettes cigarettes and snacks that's what i want do you hear yourself yeah like this is not a general store yeah oh my god do you hear yourself facts do you hear yourself you're coming to my house happening on the windows for cigarettes You're an addict Go away Mommy, Siggy Yeah Oh that's What?

1:28:14Scary That is scary I would go crazy She's a trooper She's an angel I'm surprised I'm surprised she didn't lash out even more I like the fact that she stormed out Like after making him and her breakfast It's like oh everyone else is coming They're blah blah blah That's your problem I'm leaving That's literally your problem You made your bed bro I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall Oh yeah See what the co-worker said to him I know they would have ate their eggs being like What the fuck is this today? I didn't come here for this Is this what everyone's been Banging on about Yeah I came here for Bacon eggs and cheese Where is she Facts Where is she Because this is disgusting Did you make this I know they say Your wife's cooking Warm me next time I won't come Wow okay I know I love her Sticking her gun Yeah she had to Jeez what a loser She does Update in the comments Three days later Okay People were asking Like how has this been going Yeah And she goes A lot of cold shouldering And silence this weekend with occasional talk from him unrelated to the breakfast.

1:29:11I wouldn't know what to update you with today as I'm at the library studying and he had to fend for himself this morning. He's such an arsehole. Is he still bothered about this? He's such an arsehole. Yeah? I think he's too wrapped up in it to even understand. I think he's more concerned about preserving his social status at work that he can't even see outside. Where she's coming from. Yeah, where she's coming from. You know, the last comment we have from OP is in response to someone that says this. Before you did this Did you know If any other wives Performed that service For the office And OP says Not that I'm aware of But that doesn't Change anything Everything Is over Oh Yeah It had to come It had to come to a head Makes sense But I'm like Everything Is that like The breakfast Or your marriage Sounds marriagey To me It's whatever you want To make up to me I've said This is the last post You're getting from me The thread's over Yeah the thread is over Yeah Make up it You will, bro.

1:30:08Use your imagination. And that's all we got. Wow, that was juicy. That was juicy. The post is now 11 years old. Really? Oh, damn. I wonder where she is now. Shout out, Herman. Hopefully live in her best life. I fucking hope so. She can't breakfast in bed from someone new. Yeah. Doted on. I hope so. My God. I hope he's jobless. Thanks. I wish him. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe.

1:30:46It's super simple to use and with no selling fees. So you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. This episode is brought to you by Revolve. My summer has been jam-packed with moments where I just want to look cute. And the best way to do it is to find a good fit, an outfit that makes you feel confident, that feels on trend or reflects your unique style. And Revolve is my go-to place to find those fits. I just went to Europe and basically every single one of my outfits was from Revolve. And I've never, never been complimented more.

1:31:25So whether it's a big night out, a wedding, a summer trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, Revolve always has it. Go to revolve.com slash THT to shop our faves and use code THT for 15 % off your first order. Fast shipping, easy returns. It just makes everything easier. That's revolve.com slash THT. You can shop our faves and get 15 % off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out. Unwell. Wow, that was fantastic. That was. Well played. I've got one last one for you here Cool, let's do it Are you familiar with astrology and astronomy? Barely Not enough Oh, this is going to be good Okay, cool This is from True Off My Chest Titled I thought astronomy and astrology were the same thing I might have ruined my relationship with my girlfriend Okay, right My girlfriend, 32 female, of almost one year Has a doctorate in astronomy My sister, 35 female, has astrology as her biggest hobby.

1:32:36I, 33 male, thought they were the same thing. And now I think I ruined my relationship with my girlfriend. Sorry, what is the difference? I was hoping you would ask me. I know one of them is Scorpio and them. And I know one of them is actual science. But I don't know which one is which. Actual science! I don't know which one is which. Okay. Sorry. I think I know, but I don't want to embarrass myself. So I'll let you finish. Yeah, we'll see what he thinks first, and then we'll talk about it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I thought she and my sister had lots in common, but after she met my sister, when I introduced her to my family, my girlfriend was angry.

1:33:13My sister was just confused, but my girlfriend, furious. At first, she thought I was belittling her career by comparing it to astrology, which she says is completely fake. After I told her I honestly and truly thought they were the same thing, she got even more upset. She claims the only way I could think that was if I never listened to her. That's not true. They both have names that are almost the same, and they are both about space. My girlfriend says she has a doctorate, has worked in America at NASA and Europe at the Space Agency, and has written a lot of scientific papers. Okay, love. All right.

1:33:55So her accomplishments should not be compared to someone who believes in astrology. My girlfriend has not spoken to me since the day I introduced her to my family. She canceled our visit to her family so I could have met them. She canceled our recent date. And she told me to figure it out when we argued after we left visiting my family. Okay. This is a bit much. She said we were done, but it was in the heat of the moment. I admit I made a mistake I honestly did not know they weren't the same thing But I don't think it was a huge mistake I think I might have ruined the relationship with her I swear I didn't know and I didn't mean to upset her That's a lot That's a bit much Understandably big mistake But who cares?

1:34:44She's taking it as Like Morgan said As if he's not listened to her for the past X amount of months or years they've been together he's not um taking what she does she's seen as doesn't take what you do seriously you've not listened to me whatsoever yeah and you're comparing me to fake shit that's all she's hearing when he says oh i didn't know the difference between the two i thought they were the same thing which is an easy ish mistake to make they're spelled similar bar one letter so it's like how can you be that mad at him so i think what you're interpreting how she's reading it yeah spot on what's the thing that you guys are most passionate about in this world like what is your niche your I mean like your career is now podcasting and creating content is that your passion is like podcasting like I have a great example I have a great example of how annoyed I would be if I was in her shoes if my partner said Man United and Man City were the same thing that's where she's at would make me want to jump off a bridge.

1:35:46That's where she's at. Yeah. So I understand. I can put myself in her shoes. Yeah. Like it would be like you for a year being like, I have a podcast. I'm so passionate about it. I love, you know, reading stories and helping people. And then your partner being like, yeah, she, you know, she talks into a microphone, I think. But like, I don't really get what she does. And it's like, but like that's a part of my identity. That's my passion. I'm so career driven and accomplished. I've worked at NASA. Yeah, valid. I'm helping get people to the moon and you don't even know what I do? But also though, it sounds like, but okay, to defend homeboy, it sounds like to me the equivalent of like, he just thought, I don't necessarily, granted he didn't understand what she does, but it sounds like he just thought his sister is interested in her work.

1:36:40So maybe it was more so that he doesn't know what the sister's into? Potentially Okay Because he's obviously heard what his girlfriend has said You hope Yeah, and he just thought astrology, astronomy, the same thing So he's like, oh My sister Bridging the gap, by the way She fucks with you Yeah, she has an illustrious career And she also is interested in this hobby Only to find out, no, she's interested in spirits and ghosts and predicting the future and personality traits. Essentially, yeah. I started the universe. Because astronomy, scientific study of celestial objects in the universe using evidence, physics, and observation, astrology is a belief system and pseudoscience that interprets planetary positions to predict human events and behavior.

1:37:30So it's like, I was born in Pisces, and so I'm emotional, and like blah, blah, blah. So it's like more fakey versus no. like home girl is doing math equations and figuring out physics. I mean, I can understand that if I, yeah, maybe if I'm just not listening to the sister and her interest, I just know this interest. Yeah. I would still be like, yeah, you guys are into the same thing. I don't know. I don't know. I think I can talk myself into a very just boy brain. Just boy brain. Like, yeah. Okay. Innocent. If I don't know about astrology, it would be very easy for me to assume it's the same thing.

1:38:06Okay. Okay. That makes sense. okay i mean i don't like i know i'm a pisces but beyond that like i know astrology is like there's so much to it there's birth charts things go in retrograde there's cleansing i'm like but i don't understand it but i don't know i i feel like mixing the two of them up does seem a little hard it does but like if you're a complete novice yeah because like with the pseudoscience thing right if if i was like oh okay cool so like how do people know that like tauruses have this behavioral trait and all that kind of stuff if then my sister's like oh easy because the stars this and one of this and then that sounds like science to me if i don't know that this is all bullshit yeah it sounds like oh okay you're mapping the stars and that's how you guys predict this kind of stuff if i just don't care and i just listen to it and take it as face value i would assume it's the same thing that my wife does.

1:39:01Regardless of all the intellectual shit that she tells me about it. Not even necessarily the same thing could because it's a spectrum. Yeah. It's a part of what she's doing, but she's working over here. My wife's working over here, but it's under the same umbrella. So hobby, career. I just thought you guys had stuff in common. And that's my bad. He was trying to be nice, but maybe showed he's a bit too much of a dope for her to date. Yeah, she said the whole thing is done. Yeah. It's over. You're too dumb for me. Yeah, that's an ick. You're too dumb. She was icked out. Yeah. She was icked out.

1:39:33What's your biggest icks? What gets you? What gets you icked? Oh God, why do we start? Why do we start? Not being able to handle your heels. So you take your heels off in the dance and you go barefoot. In the club? Yeah, or outside of the club, wherever, wherever. Walking down the street after the club? Yeah, that. I have been there once or twice. I can imagine everyone has. Yeah. That's why you need to sneak some socks in your purse just in case. You take the heels off, put the socks on, throw them away when you get home. Oh, nice. At least you have like a thing. Ruffer. I know some people that have started to like hide their shoes, their flats in bushes.

1:40:10So when they come out of the club, they like grab their flats. That's not a bad shout at all. You know people. No, I've seen it on TikTok. Oh, okay. The girls are doing it. It's a new thing. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. That's like, that's clever. it's clever I wouldn't want to I'd be scared my shoes would get stolen from the bush who's stealing flats from a bush homeless people bro they deserve them then yeah for those backs yeah I wouldn't be upset if I came back and my flats were gone I wouldn't be upset I'd be pissed but I wouldn't be upset yeah you gotta you gotta bring the cheapies if you're gonna do it I guess um my biggest ick you know what this is actually funny because it came up a conversation the other the lengths that people will go to to avoid having their like if they're on a date and they want to get as much like pictures and videos of this date if possible without including the person you're on a date with so to the point of like if you're in a restaurant and you're having like video in your food and then your partner's there and you're like oh yeah that shit that's weird that can't happened to me in person who you had me from exactly the world yeah yeah 100 % I social media here's like social media is so fake and I'm so tired of it I have like someone I know that will take pictures on dates and like discreetly show the date's hand save it and then post it on like a Friday to make it look like she's booked and busy that's a literal Drake bar really that's a literal, literal Drake.

1:41:37What is it? And he literally said booked and busy as well. I will have to find it and I'll send it to you. Wow, really? Yeah. That's crazy. I'm like, you just can't believe what you see on social media. I think it's called Emotionless. Okay. Or Scorpion. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, okay. Are you team Drake? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's not for this guy. Oh, my gosh. I love it. Top comment on this one. Girlfriend realized she's dating a box of hammers. Oh, wow. I think, okay, my final thoughts on that are she realized he's dumb. And I think she could have handled it with a little bit more grace.

1:42:15As opposed to treating him like he's done something like aggressively offensive. Yeah. I think she could have just woke up and be like, yeah, you're just a fucking idiot. Well, I mean, you have dated him for a year. Like this is the first you've noticed him being dumb? Yeah. This was the straw? Yeah. And like also just like his intent. It's a valid straw. It's a valid straw, but his intention was trying to be kind. It's not like he was just flippant about, I don't give a shit about what you do. It's all the same, same, same, figure it out. He was genuinely just trying to do something kind and nice and then fucked it up.

1:42:48And then it's taking extreme accountability. And then it just breaks my heart when he's like, oh, she's completely left me after a year of good times. Because I made this mistake and I'm owning up to the mistake and I'm sorry about the mistake. I was trying to be nice. And then she's like, fuck you, dude. We're done. I think we need to start giving people the benefit of the doubt more. Like when we know people are not malicious, there's obviously glaring red flags that some people have where you're like, no, no, no. Like that's, I'm going to stay away from them. They don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

1:43:18But it's like, if it's someone you were dating for a year, you know them. Like maybe give them a little slack. Not maybe not in this case, but just in general. Like, yeah, we got to have a little bit more nuance to things. I've had this discussion with like exes in the past and all this kind of stuff. is like where something will happen in a vacuum and they will treat me like they don't know me. And I'm like, if we've been together for like two years, does this scenario seem like part of my personality? If not, please let's take like a step back and be like, what might he actually mean with this situation, what's going on?

1:43:55Because it's not what I know him to be. They make blanket statements. Yeah. Like, don't just treat me like I'm a stranger off the street who's offended you. Like take all the information that you know about me and then you use that with like your judgment of this like specific scenario. Which is so fair. And if someone can't do that, then it's like, it's not going to work. Cause like you have my track record, you know me. Maybe this specific time should be put in a separate little box because there's this context behind it. That's why I reacted. I was triggered or I didn't see that or what, but yeah, I'm on your page.

1:44:26Nice. Where can people find you? Thank you guys for being here. Thank you for having us. I loved running this back. This was a lot of fun. I forgot how good this was. That prediction is going to stick. Gorilla grip. And the wife cooking meals every day. Oh my God. That's so fucked. Yeah. Okay. That was fantastic. But you guys, I mean, your segments are amazing. You get an icks, relationship advice. I've been seeing a lot of your like imposter content. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. That's a fun game. You do some fun stuff. So where can people find you? So literally, Shits and Gigs or James and Fuhad literally anywhere, just type it in.

1:45:02And then, yeah, you can see us on TikTok or YouTube or Spotify or wherever you digest. Instagram, yeah, wherever you would prefer to see our faces, you can surely find us there. Okay, amazing. All of their links will be in the description. Check them out. Amazing podcast. And until next time, guys, bye.

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1:46:34Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Trimfia today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit TrimfiaRadio.com. Have you heard that McDonald's spicy chicken McNuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back? Remember to grab a few extra napkins. for a limited time at participating McDonald's.