269: Rare Breed Pt 2!

32:29At the same time, I messaged my boyfriend to ask if he had seen them, and he claimed that it had been so busy that he hadn't noticed and to just tell my mom and dad to go home. At this stage, I started to wonder if potentially he had pulled out of the marathon halfway through and didn't want to talk about it just yet. After some further investigation, I now know that he did not run the full marathon. Instead, he ran with a five-person relay group who each did a fifth of the route. I have not confronted him about this yet, but I have been really distressed by how blatant of a lie this is. He continues to claim that he completed the full 26.2 miles, and I keep thinking back to how he lied to my parents and friends' faces, most of whom donated towards him running a marathon.

33:22This isn't the first time he has lied to me. Typically, they have been small white lies about insignificant things, but this feels huge. It's been weeks, and I still haven't yet brought up the fact that I know he lied, mainly because I know he will likely just double down. I can't help but wonder if he is lying about this, what else could be going on? I feel utterly betrayed and I don't know how to deal with this situation. Is it worth continuing a relationship with someone who can clearly lie so easily? This is such a weird thing to lie about. When you were initially saying this, I was like, oh, okay, so was he lying about, you know doing a marathon and training and running because he's having an affair and that's like an excuse of where he's been all this time all the training yeah but she has his location and he actually did do a part of the marathon he's just lying about doing the whole thing like for what reason it's so ego i guess but like that's kind of weird and also he knows she has his location he knows that she asked for his bib number to track him i think knew that her parents were gonna be there too so like with all of those factors he still lied like that's another situation where if you are willing to lie under these circumstances then i cannot imagine the things that you would do if you could get away with more because there were so many reasons to be worried about getting caught.

34:56I'm like, maybe it's an ego thing. Maybe OP misunderstood, but I'm like, I don't think they misunderstood when he's still then claiming to be like, no, I ran the full 26 miles. No, it's the doubling down. It's the doubling down. I ran the whole way. The whole thing. It's like, you didn't and that's okay. It's fine. It's, it also would've been fine if you just got tired halfway through. It still would've been impressive. You could've ran a mile and I'd be impressed. I like. Absolutely. Running and me, I'm like, I wish I could run, but I don't run at all. It's not in the cards for me. I could do a lot of things.

35:30Running, I don't think is one of them. I'm going to try to like, like I want to have a goal to like just run down my street without stopping. Like as of right now, I can only get one block and then I have to walk. Let's do this together. This would be a great little activity. I just want to just like, I know it's like point four. Down my street, its point for. And I'm like, I think that for the safety, if I ever encounter a bear would be a good thing to have under my belt. For me, it's just more the action of running. It just feels too jostling to me. Oh, my boobs. I need double, double sports bras.

36:03I don't need that. They're strapped. They're strapped down. Oh, yeah, this is crazy. I the jostling. yes it's just my whole body like I don't know um yeah I I don't understand it I understand also why this would be a weird situation to be in as a partner because it's like technically he's not lying about something that's so consequential to your relationship or like it's not hiding this terrible awful thing he did it's just this weird I almost feel like he just needs to go to therapy for for lying insecurity yeah that's the thing it's like why like again if we get down to the why to what end exactly and I think OP even saying like I'm just kind of sketched out because I've noticed a lot of other white lies about insignificant things and I I do think it's interesting when people will lie so much about insignificant things and it's like why I feel like I just psychs me out I used to struggle with arguing about inconsequential things and and feeling the need to be right and like prove that I was right and this feels kind of similar in a way where I had to eventually realize the other person doesn't care that I proved myself right no one is impressed by this like I'm not but but seriously like and it feels like the lying too where you have to get to a point in life where you realize like I don't know what I'm doing this for because it is some kind of ego thing but it's not real like this isn't actually making people think better of you do you feel like though because I really relate to that but I think for me I do it because it's like almost like a it depends on what it is but it's almost like this defensiveness of like I don't know I'm just like I'm trying and like almost like the people pleaser side of it where you just like want people to like understand your rationale behind things i think that could sometimes be it but i think what i was doing previously was a little bit more ego driven okay to be honest see for me i'm just like i'm just i'm not i'm not trying to be mean i'm like oh just like over explaining yourself over explaining yeah that too that too for sure i'm just like oh but i don't know i think that this is a quality that would be very difficult to have in a long-term partner.

38:30I do think if he could work out why he does this, there's like the potential for things to be okay. But if this is a pattern, yeah, if you lie about something like this, why would I have any reason to believe you're not lying about the big things? Exactly. And that's kind of what the top comment starts picking up on. Yeah. Top comment with almost 3k upvotes. This is an extremely bizarre thing to lie about, in my opinion. And if, by your own admission, you've caught him in other white lies before, this makes me wonder what lies you haven't caught. Yeah, exactly. I'm really concerned about the fact that you mentioned people donated money towards his marathon for him.

39:10He's way too comfortable lying and taking from people in his life. Confront him and leave him before he lies about something significantly worse. Yeah, and it's just so important to have trust and to feel like, oh, if I go to my partner about a thing, I can believe what they tell me. And if you can't feel that way, that's terrible. I know. OP does comment back to someone who was also concerned about the money and was like, you need to get the money back from people. Is it for a charity, though? And so OP does confirm. Yeah. I can confirm that the money raised definitely did go to the charity. and it seems like a lot of his family who donated the majority did understand that he was only running a relay.

39:51My main guess is that he lied to make himself seem better. I'm not sure if that at some stage he was meant to run the full marathon and then dropped down to the relay closer to the time and then lied out of insecurity. No, and you know, I can't run at all. So this is coming or did I say lie or run? I don't know. I can't run at all. so this is coming from like not a fair place yeah but going from one person to fully five people is so funny to me like you couldn't have even done like a two person like a half z's yeah because what is that it's 5.3 miles and he's doing other other marathons right like he was doing he did an under four minute mile or something like that no so sub four is like you run the whole marathon under four hours.

40:40Like a lot of people have crazy goals of like a sub three. So you literally like your pace, like to do a sub three, it's like, I don't know, what is that? Like seven minute miles. And see, I actually can in my mind, picture the type of person who would do a relay and then be like, yep. And that was a sub four that I did. And it's like, of course, because you only did a fifth of it. I know. And I'm like, that is cool. But like, also you had five people. So you're all kind of fresh and only running five, not the full. Yeah. And yeah, so like a sub three marathon, which is like a big goal for a lot of people, you have to run basically six minutes and 52 seconds per mile.

41:20Like, do you remember running the mile in high school? So the issue is that I have no concept of how long a mile should take. I mean, people walk a mile, I think in like 18 minutes. Oh, okay. I could run a mile. On average, it takes 15 to 22 minutes to walk a mile. I could run a mile I just wouldn't enjoy it I wouldn't enjoy the experience Do you think you could run non-stop? For a mile I don't think I could run non-stop You know what? Let me visit with a treadmill Let me visit with a treadmill Maybe you should just go to a track Four laps Give it a go Oh, I remember that That was miserable Yeah I have no interest in doing that No That's literally what I remember running the mile in high school Running the circles And at my fucking physical peak That shit took me so long I was always a walker.

42:09It's a burn in your lungs? I'm good at sprints. I actually, I was good at sprints at the time. I used to. I used to be too. And then I tried racing my like seven-year-old nephew in the Mall of America the other day. Oh no. Fucking beat me. Oh no. I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm like, I didn't, I wasn't properly packed down, you know? So it's a little hard. But I'm like, still, I'm like, I'm out of, I got it. Well, only seven years. He's got a lot to run for. He's got a lot to live for. I know. So he's got dreams ahead. kid that's no i can't he's got dreams ahead he's chasing him i just can't i once you put it in the perspective of doing the laps in high school i was like never mind take that back but i do want to just run down my street yeah yeah weird thing to lie about um again a lot of people very concerned about the money op is like no like it did go to charity that's the only thing he didn't lie about apparently it's not uncommon where op is from that marathons will allow for relay teams to run to raise money for charities.

43:07This involves official stops where you pass a baton onto the next member for the relay. You run amongst the other runners, but just take a different turn at the end of your leg. I wasn't paying attention to his location for the first hour, as I knew it would likely take him a few hours to finish. When I checked for the first time, he was only beginning his run. Plus, I didn't know the official route. And again, all of that is fine. It's just weird to double down and be like, no, I did the entire full thing. I think people are kind of confused. Like, why haven't you talked with him about this? And so OP does reply to that person that asked that.

43:43I guess fear that I'm wrong. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only person who has picked up on the fact that he didn't do the full marathon. I do believe that he did not do the full marathon that day, but he is unbelievably convincing and I'm concerned about how he will react. I've also been abroad since a week before the run, so we haven't spoken in person. I thought OP said that his family knows that he did the relay. I know, but like maybe on her side or like friends? It does. I could understand this being a situation where when she does bring it up, she's just met with such severe gaslighting about it that it doesn't feel worth it.

44:22But then you're six months in. Don't be with this goofball. Oh, she's only six months in? Six months in. Oh, easy out. Six months. Really easy out here. Since we met six months ago. Met six months ago. Oh my god. Girl. Girl, run. Talk about running. Run. Get those little New Balance shoes on and run. I would run the high school mile for that. I'll tell you. That's the one time I would to get away from this guy. That's so funny because earlier I was like, you know what? They can maybe get past this. No, there's no need. I don't think there is. There's no need to. No, pack it up. Pack it up and go.

44:59Okay, on to our next one here. This next story is brought to you guys by State Farm. How does that saying go? By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. That's one saying I'm not going to botch and something we should all take very seriously, because when you take the time to prepare for moments that matter, like talking to a State Farm agent, you set yourself up for success. This next story, ROP definitely could have prepared a little bit more for what happened. Buckle up, guys. It is seven days old. Okay. It is titled, Am I the Asshole Not Putting Up My Daughter-in-Law's Painting in Our New Home and Telling Her That I Am Not a Fan of Her Art?

45:43Okay. My daughter-in-law has been married to my son for a few years, and she has a side gig of making art. She has a habit of giving paintings to friends and family as gifts. I think most people like them, but for me, I'm not a huge fan of her art style. I am much more of a nature person than someone that wants scenes with people. Also, when she paints people, they are stylized. My husband and I bought a house and we have fully moved in. My daughter-in-law gave me a painting of someone sitting at the beach because she knows we like the beach. I don't like it. The woman in the painting looks off.

46:21Her legs are too long. She's too curvy. I know it is her style of painting, but I just don't like it. At the time, I got the gift. I thanked her for it, and I thought that would be the end of it. I put the painting in the garage and kind of forgot about it. I bought an ocean painting for the living room. My daughter-in-law visited the other day because she wanted to pick up some of our old 4th of July decorations. Our house is smaller, so we are purging decorations. We were in the garage, and she saw the painting there. She was surprised and asked why it wasn't in the house. I told her I didn't have a spot to put it.

46:58She kept pressing and mentioned that I got a new painting for the living room. I told her again that I don't have a spot for it. She then picked up the painting and said that she could help find a spot. I told her no. She asked why not, and I decided to be honest. I told her I'm not a fan of her artwork. She got quiet after that, and I gave her the decorations. I got a call from my son that he was mad. He told me I need to apologize and hang up her painting, that his wife has been crying, and it took her hours to make. I told him I'm not hanging it up, and that resulted in an argument. I need some opinions.

47:39I feel like it's my house. I can decorate it how I want. Am I the asshole? Wow, I'm very torn on this. I kind of feel like they're both assholes a little bit. Is that crazy? I have a really hot take. Maybe it's not a hot take. We don't want to hear it. So I really, really don't think you should gift people art. I don't think that's a hot take. I feel like art. or I do think it's a hot take but I don't think it's crazy yeah I agree I just feel like art is so personal and subjective and you really have to love something to put it up on your wall so when someone gifts you ginormous pieces of art it is like appreciated like you don't you don't want to feel disingenuous and like you don't appreciate it because you do because it's nice that someone's thinking of you.

48:36Yeah. But then to be like forced to put something on your wall or find a place for it or store it because you can't donate or give away art that someone gave you. Like, yeah, you're kind of stuck with it. Yeah. And then you have the potential for issues like this. Yeah. I I if I were the artist and I saw it in the garage, my feelings would be hurt for sure and I think there's maybe a way that it could have been said that would have been better but also she was really pushing about it and kind of wouldn't just let it go and I think in that kind of moment you have to take the L a little bit and sort of realize what they're saying without forcing them to say it like okay I get the hint this is in the garage Like you don't like it, but that's okay.

49:32It was a gift. And the meaning of a gift is it's something that I did for you. And whether you like it or not, like that's not your responsibility. Like a gift, it shouldn't be like a burden to somebody. I know. And that's the hard part about art. Yeah. I think if someone asks you for your art, that's a different story. If they're overly expressive, like, I love that. That's such a beautiful piece. Then it's probably going to be more received. Yeah. But a ginormous painting. Yeah. That's a tough one because OP does have an edit. It is 26 by 36. So two feet by three feet, which probably took a lot of effort, too.

50:12But it's just, yeah, it's one thing if someone you know their favorite artist and you it matches other things in their collection and whatever and then it can be like such a personal special gift to give somebody. Or if it's a small print. Yeah. If it's a 12 by 12. Which I've done that before. Yeah. That's manageable. That's you know whatever. Could she have maybe put it up in like a guest room if they have a guest room? Probably. So OP does add in the edit we downgraded our house. There is no place to put it that I won't see it every day. We have one bathroom, two bedrooms, one that is my office, the living room, and a kitchen.

50:49The basement is my husband's workshop. He doesn't like it either. I seriously dislike how she does portions. I don't like that the waists are tiny and the butts and boobs are huge. Not my type of artwork. I don't like it. I don't wish to decorate my home with art. I don't like, and I have to see it every day. If I gave her artwork, I wouldn't expect her to hang it up in her house if she didn't like it. even if I spent months on it because it is not my house. Yeah. What would you do in this situation? I'm in this situation. Really? Oh, yeah. So what are you doing? Are you keeping it a secret? I don't know what to do.

51:26Switch it out whenever they visit. If it is in the guest room up against a wall currently, I'm in this and this is a delicate it think. I don't know. Would I ever tell that person that I don't like their artwork? No. No. Especially if I don't have that goal. If they are the ones who painted it especially. Yeah. I don't think you're the asshole for not putting it up. No. I definitely think you could have maybe placated her a bit more nicely. Like we just moved in. I'll find a spot eventually. Let time pass. Let it sit in your garage. If it continues to be an issue, talk to your son, pull them aside.

52:05Yeah. I think if I were in this situation, I don't know, it's hard because I would probably have a little bit more just innate fondness for art that my daughter-in-law created for me. Like it would maybe surpass the, oh, I don't know if this goes in this room for me, but I don't, I also don't think that that's a necessary way to feel about it. And I, I think that the daughter-in-law was very forceful about how she responded weird that behavior is weird and I get pushing again I do get seeing it in the garage and being like disappointed and sad and a little hurt by that of course I think that that that's a very normal reaction to have to it I just think that you have to kind of have an awareness if you make something for someone like I'm taking a risk here I hope that they like it I'm doing this because I want them to be happy and if having this isn't going to make them happy, then they shouldn't use it.

53:01Because then why am I getting them something? Then it's for me and not for them. Yeah. Top comment, not the asshole. When you give someone a gift of artwork that you made yourself and you don't see your artwork hanging up, that should be enough of a clue. There isn't really a polite way to tell someone, thank you for giving this to me, but I'd really rather you keep it because there's no way I'm ever going to hang it up in my house. She found it in the garage. You told her you did not have a place for it and that should have been sufficient for her to get the hint. Continuing to insist that she herself was going to help find a place to hang it was rude and invasive.

53:36Why are we not okay with mother-in-laws telling daughter-in-laws how to decorate but suddenly we're okay with daughter-in-law deciding how the mother-in-law should decorate? If this person is old enough to be married, she is old enough to have the maturity to recognize that not everyone on the planet is going to enjoy her work. Mother-in-law wasn't rude in the least, but as soon as daughter-in-law tried overruling her and insisted on finding a place to hang it, daughter-in-law absolutely crossed a line. Yeah. 12k upvotes. It's also very understandable for someone to just not like your art style.

54:08I feel like that's something that artists understand and know. Like you could have a family member who's like, you know what, I'm not interested in podcasts. And you'd be like, all Right. Cool. You know what I mean? Like you have to. Hearing my own voice is annoying too sometimes. I don't love editing. I think a lot of people who create something know like, oh, this isn't for everyone, but that doesn't mean that it's completely devalued to them that I do it. Especially with art. It's in the eye of the beholder. Yeah. Yeah. We don't have any other updates yet from OP. OP even says like, it doesn't matter if my son painted like this.

54:47I wouldn't put it up actually I would have a conversation about why he is drawing women like this why are you painting women like Jessica Rabbit and I get it's a style whatever you don't have to be hyper realist you know but OP does keep saying that Jessica Rabbit is the perfect example of how she paints people so she makes them curvy I think OP could reach out and apologize for the fact that she had to like see it in the garage and just be like, but again, there really isn't a place we just downsized. It's not the style of what we have in the house. It doesn't blend with what we have. It doesn't mean that I don't think you're very talented.

55:33That. I appreciate your talents as an artist. Yeah. I just, you know, it's not my style. Yeah. It's not that I hate your art. It's just not my style, but I think you have talent. Yeah. Amazing job. I love seeing it in your home. Yeah. It's just not our vibe. I can't wait to support you at a gallery opening. Yes. OP does add that she's 29. She doesn't need baby gloves. I wasn't even mean. I literally just said, quote, I'm not a fan of the artwork. Yeah. But I think it's the umbrella statement of it all that like kind of is like, but are your feelings valid? If you want to say that? Are you entitled?

56:10Yeah. But again, like I am in the boat of more flies with honey than vinegar. Yeah. And like, I think people just overall, like kind of realize how you're talking to people. People need to do that a little bit more. Yeah. I don't like your art style is a little harsh. Very clearly, the moment that mattered most is OP getting into this new house of theirs and picking art that mattered to them. But if they would have prepared a little bit more about how to have a conversation with their daughter-in-law about the art or maybe just hit it better, all of this could have potentially been avoided. I don't know.

56:49What do you guys think? Obviously, big life moments can come with a lot of change. But when you take the time to prepare, like talking with a State Farm agent, you can set yourself up for whatever may come next. Like a good neighbor? State Farm is there. Thanks State Farm! This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Supporting My Husband Quitting His Business to Become a Doctor? Oh God, that's a long journey. As someone with a brother who is a doctor, you're a great guest for this. Thank you, yes. I have a relative who's... My husband, 28 male, and I, 27 female, have two young children, two and one.

57:33Recently, his father was diagnosed with cancer, and it's been incredibly hard on him. Not long after, his mom had to have stents placed in her heart. In the past three weeks alone, he's taken them to the ER at least five times. It's been a lot, and I truly do understand how overwhelming and emotional that is. I've tried to be as supportive as I can, stepping up with the kids and continuing to work full-time to keep things stable at home. About two weeks ago, everything kind of blew up. He told me he wants to dissolve his real estate business and go back to school to become a doctor. His reasoning is that he wouldn't be able to run the business while also committing to school full-time.

58:17The part that's really hard for me is that I've supported him building this business for the past four years. I worked full-time, raised our newborns and toddler, and held everything together at home while he was able to focus fully on growing the business. It wasn't easy, but now it's finally at a point where it's successful and can comfortably support our family. And now he wants to walk away from all of that? I completely understand where this is coming from emotionally. Watching your parents go through serious health issues can change your perspective on everything. But at the same time, this decision doesn't just affect him.

58:57It affects me and our kids too. Going back to school to become a doctor is a long, demanding, and expensive path, and his plan is to fully step away from the business while I continue working full-time, taking care of the house, and raising our children. When I pushed back, things escalated. I told him I felt like he was being selfish and not thinking about how this would impact our family. Since then, he's basically shut down. He hasn't been speaking to me for the past two weeks. He stopped by this weekend to spend some time with the kids, but he's been staying at his parents' house in the meantime.

59:34I feel really torn. I want to support him, especially given everything he's going through with his family, but I also feel overwhelmed, hurt, and honestly, a little abandoned. It feels like I'm being asked to carry everything again, just when things were finally becoming stable. Am I the asshole for not supporting my husband's goals? Yeah, this is a tough one because you always want to support people's dreams and, you know, believe in them and not be the one who's saying you can't do that. But it is a selfish thing to want to do. Like it'll take 10 years before you can even start making money with this.

1:00:20And not only that, but you'll be pouring crazy amounts of money into it. And you can't make any money in that time because it is so demanding. And like it also just feels like there hasn't been that much time and thought put into this decision. This does feel a little bit quick. Like they've been going through this. They're still in the midst of these health issues. And it's very soon to say, OK, we're going to drop everything now, completely upend our family's stability. I've made this decision and it's final. It just feels very fast. like no conversation yeah no like what do you think of this I'm very like obviously in an emotionally intense situation with my parents I'm kind of feeling like things are really out of control and I'm seeing what they're going through in the health care system and it's like it's really upsetting I want to make a difference like yeah no conversation it's just I want to quit to become a doctor yeah and it's like and it all sounds very lovely but that's just not reality no and there's some comments from op that we're going to get into that like also makes it even more confusing to where i'm like i get where he's coming from but like like even up until this point he hasn't even been a good partner yeah you have a two-year-old and a one-year-old and your wife has been supporting you for the past four years basically for a different dream for a different dream basically letting you off the hook in terms of child care home care yeah like she's been the breadwinner.

1:01:53Yeah. Where are you contributing to this partnership? And now after take, take, take, take, take, you're saying, oh, I'm going to just like totally upend our lives, quit this business that you've sacrificed so much for, throw it away and chase this potentially other dream that's seemingly kind of developed overnight. Yeah. Like where's the give? Where's the balance? Which might not even work out. He could even like go through, I don't know, undergrad again, if he has to and then not get accepted into medical school. He could then go into medical school and not get accepted into like a fellowship.

1:02:26But there are so many people are like not matching. They could. Yeah, they could. It's a risk. So much money and time into this, not to mention like also a business that's doing well. And it's sad because I even hate saying this because I feel like it could be taken the wrong way. But there is a point in a partnership, especially with children, where you can't just keep chasing new dreams. You do eventually have to. And sometimes, by the way, like work isn't a dream. Sometimes work is just a thing that you have to do. And I think it's beautiful to be like, yeah, work is should be the thing that you love the most.

1:03:05But that doesn't always happen. And that's OK. That's totally fine. It doesn't happen that way. I think like a majority of people, I think there's like maybe a split. I'd be curious. Maybe that would be a good poll for this episode of like, do you love your job or do you just like work to live? And you're just kind of like, I like going to work and punching out. Like I'm good. And I feel like that's why a lot of people sometimes feel like they've failed because they think that they should love their job and like be doing something that's just always been their dream come true and is so incredible when that's just, you know, it's okay if work is just a thing that you have to do for money.

1:03:45I completely agree. It shouldn't suck your soul away if you can help it, but I don't know. I think this is tough. And also he doesn't even know if being a doctor would be his dream. He hasn't spent enough time even thinking about it to know that. He's certainly no time living in the actual reality of it. So it's just too much. Yeah. It sounds like, you know it's been maybe a couple of months if they had like a million dollars stored away and you know trust fund to live off of go chase your dreams whatever yeah that's fine I know it's really intense but I do agree with your point too like when you made the choice to have kids like you now also have another responsibility yeah and your life when you have kids like isn't just your own anymore.

1:04:35As weird as that is, like you're not just gambling your own life when you make that decision. There's a lot on the line here. And I understand where he's coming from, but it's... I know, it sounds very noble. I understand that his reasons aren't, you know, coming from this horrible, selfish place, but... It's a tough one. I'm like, he's only 27 and like people go back to school at all ages. But this is a big one. And so let's get into the comments. Yeah. So the top comment. He can take MCATs and any prerequisite science classes before applying for medical school. It isn't even easy to be accepted to medical school.

1:05:10Tell him he can continue to work in real estate while studying for and taking MCATs and see where that gets him. Yeah. And someone else is like, this is a very practical answer. That may also give him time to identify a solution for the business. Could he hire a manager to take care of it day to day? Could he sell the business? I wonder if he even gets into the reality of studying for the MCAT, if that alone will be enough to be like, oh, maybe never mind. I also wonder if there's a different compromise of working towards something in the healthcare system that isn't a 10-year becoming a doctor type thing.

1:05:46Yeah. I think that would probably be like a really great compromise for your family, like if this continues to be a dream for him. Start a nonprofit. I mean, yeah, there's so many options. I, when I was a medical scribe, I had this one doctor, Dr. Dyer, and he talked to me and he was just like, what do you want to do with this? Because like, as you are a medical scribe, you're doing it for hours to apply for med school, PA school, some sort of other program. You're not just a scribe. And so I was like, you know, I'm not really sure. I don't know, maybe med school, maybe PA school. And he goes, PA school.

1:06:24He's like, the golden age of being an MD is a little behind us. PA school, less debt, less time. You're in a great position. It's a great work-life balance. And the doctor was telling me this. Now, granted, this could have changed since back in, God, 2014 when I was doing this 12 years ago, you know? Yeah. But I know, you know even financial aid programs have changed in this country a lot recently and now college debt impacts your credit score which can impact you from buying a home or getting a loan it's just like yeah it's so messed up like I literally was posting my story the other day of like how do you consolidate student loans which also isn't necessarily a good idea because if you then go private with them then if there is any program that comes up down the road you're not eligible.

1:07:16So it's just like we're all in this rock and a hard place because of this. And so with education becoming even more expensive, he's looking at 500K. Yeah. They're looking at now taking out loans when they finally got to a place where they were getting money in and supporting their family. Yeah. It's just. It's a lot. So I agree. I think like an associate's program, Like I think nursing is an amazing, amazing career. And you can also grow so much within it. You can become like an injector and work at a plastic surgery clinic. You can go further and become a nurse practitioner. Like the best provider that I encountered during my emergency ER hospitalization stay was literally the nurse practitioner.

1:08:02Yeah, they're infecting people on the day to day. If that's really his, you know, inspiration. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And that's like an easier route. And also, I don't know, I feel like you're just more hands on in that route, too. Yeah. So people start commenting, is his undergraduate degree in one of the health sciences? Has he ever shown an inclination towards med school in the past? Does he have a pattern of jumping impulsively from one thing to another? How does he plan to pay for med school? OP responds, he doesn't have a degree. He said he was enrolled in college for a few semesters, but it sounds like it was mostly gen eds and he didn't get very far.

1:08:40He's also mentioned he failed quite a few classes, so I don't think he ended up with many credits either. Oh, this, I don't know if this dream is even possible. He would be going back to undergraduate. And again, I know I already said this, but even if he graduates and does well in the MCAT, it's still very, very hard just to get into medical school. So it just, it feels like something a child would be saying, not someone with children. Sorry, that might be mean. Hot take for the day. I like it. Hot take for the day. I like it. I mean, someone I worked with as a medical scribe, he actually did go to school in Ireland or like Scotland or somewhere abroad because he couldn't get in here in the States.

1:09:28Yeah. And the acceptance rate is under half. 44.5. Yeah. Which, by the way, like, I'm not trying to say that you can't start any new career at 27 or 28. Like, that is not at all the point I'm trying to make. I'm saying is, like, this being a decision for an entire family that's relying on you. It's unrealistic. It's just unfair. Yeah. Like, yeah, you could probably do it. If he was single. Yes. Whatever floats your boat, buddy. You want to like live with your parents, help take care of your parents, go to school. Girlfriend, boyfriend, dating. Sure. If like Justin woke up tomorrow and was like, I want to start over and become a doctor.

1:10:13I'd be like, what? Also, then you're going to have to move multiple times for where he does undergrad and then where he does medical school and then residency and then fellowship. Like every, you're going to have to move. every time. Yeah, someone else says, if he went through with it, I'd ask for a legal divorce, not because you don't love him, but because of the student loans and debt that he slash you would have tied to as his spouse. If he dropped out or changed his mind about being a doctor in a couple of years, he'd be screwed financially. And OP says, this is honestly another huge fear of mine.

1:10:49I worked really hard to dig us out of debt between our credit cards, auto loan, and I just finally paid off my own student loans, I worry that if he goes through with this and it doesn't work out, everything ends up falling back on me to fix again. Yeah, I mean, if he wants to, in his free time, start studying for the MCAT and maybe take an online class or two and see if he's still feeling that way, like, a year from now, I don't know, but this just feels so... I mean, that could be a good compromise of like, hey, I'm not saying no, but you have four years of an undergrad ahead of you. So why don't you start with entry level classes that you can do at night?

1:11:35Yeah. Like you keep working because that's what's fair for our family. Yeah. And if this is a dream, then you're going to do what it takes to get that dream, which is sacrifice and night classes and maybe working a little harder. but the burden of everything in our life cannot fall on just me yeah otherwise because that's what would happen yeah and otherwise like I'm better off being single and co-parenting yeah um a lot of people are like get your real estate license and take over the business OP says I've actually put a lot of thought into this I work full-time as a loan officer so I do have background in real estate and understanding that side of things what he does is more focused on property management and renovations so there would definitely be a learning curve, but I do have a little bit of a grasp on it since I've helped out when I've had time.

1:12:20At the same time, I genuinely love the career I've built and would hate to give that up. But I'd also hate to see a business we both sacrificed so much for just fall apart. So I'm really conflicted. Yeah, she's supported him before in this like swinging big, starting this really daunting thing, starting a business from scratch. Like it sounds like they both sacrificed a lot just to make this happen and like to finally see that pay off and then be like actually never mind it's too much I would feel like like the whiplash of it yeah where we're like whoa like and maybe with that comes resentment because then you're like what did I just put myself through all this yeah and you're asking me to do it again in a bigger worse way yeah Yeah.

1:13:06Someone comments to OP, what are your goals? What has he done to support them? What sacrifices has he made, if any? It seems a bit exploitative on his part, using you to achieve his life's personal endeavors and fulfillment. If you want to stay with him, ask him for a solid plan as to who will pay for his school, how he intends to support his family, and how he will be an equal contributor to the partnership. Yeah. And OP goes, wow, this is definitely eye-opening. I've been so focused on making things work that I don't think I've ever really stepped back and looked at the bigger picture like this.

1:13:42Yeah, because again, that's such a good thing to add to this conversation. I don't know if he's had any consideration of like, is it fair to put all of this on her? He's just thinking, is she supporting my dreams? And it's like, what about her dreams? Like, what about what your family's dreams are? What about what they need? Like, what is there? Can you picture a way of this looking where we can both be getting what we want out of this? Or is it just your way or nothing? It's feeling very me, me, me, me, me. Yeah. Not us, us, us, including kids. Yeah. And I've seen how much you value your dreams before.

1:14:24Like, I don't, sorry I don't need to put that much into it you threw the first one away real quick I'm just confused and I get like I don't know some people wake up and quit their jobs and start sailing around the world and I'm actually like a huge proponent of that like I think that that's a beautiful amazing thing I think I want to start a new career when I'm 40 probably like I there's tons of understandable things in this world something about this specifically to me though that's exactly it is very like no this this isn't right I will literally give me another story and I will probably have a very different opinion yeah I'm like I'm literally speaking to just this story right now so like don't ever apply what I'm saying to anything else like no no I'm like literally responding to just this story this moment how I feel in the way that each person's situation comes across I think for someone's out there listening right now and they're like oh fuck I was thinking about starting a new career, but I'm hearing the way they're talking right now.

1:15:24And apparently that's a crazy thing to do. Like, no, that is not what we're saying. It's also not what we're saying. No, I know. Take everything with a grain of salt. And it's like, I think these conversations are and why even OP is here on Reddit is just like trying to gleam other opinions and just see things from a different side. But again, it's like it's so context specific. Someone does ask, are his parents aware of his plans? if so what are their thoughts and op says yes they're aware and they support it which has really put me in an even tougher spot well i feel like that's almost there's like an emotional manipulation aspect to this where of course his parents support it because they're all like going through this health crisis together and they're probably like all experiencing the hardships together and crying together and it's like guys i'm gonna do this very noble thing and make a difference in the world.

1:16:19It's like easier for his parents to be on board with that than like the person who's going to take the brunt of it and all of the housework and all of the financial burden. Someone else comments, not the asshole. Is anyone else reminded of Betty Broderick on this one? She supported her husband through first a medical degree and then a law degree while raising six kids or something. And at the end of it all, he left her for his secretary and screwed her out of the money she was entitled to. Oh my God. Yeah, that doesn't sound that crazy. That's horrible. OP responds, new fear unlocked. I think like a lot of people too do start saying, what about other careers?

1:17:00And OP does say, I actually suggested something similar. I told him maybe starting with something like a CNA license or eventually pursuing nursing could be more realistic and a way to get into healthcare and also give him hands-on experience caring for his parents. Unfortunately, he was pretty set on becoming a doctor. It's just, it's so much work. It's going to take a lot more than like a month of deciding you want to be a doctor to actually feel motivated enough to get through all of that. It's very crazy to me that this is like, I don't know. Therapy. I think he needs to start some therapy ASAP.

1:17:39like something I've like really struggled with is like dealing with just mortality and like my parents getting older and like being so far away from home and like yeah kind of sounds like a midlife crisis almost and that's where I think he's at and I I do I even though it's not midlife but no but it's like when you're faced with like your parents like or a big life shock or yeah whatever and it's just like I understand where he's coming from and this inspiration and motivation behind it. But again, at the end of the day, we have to kind of be on planet Earth. So I really think some therapy could help him.

1:18:15Even honestly, if he just like wanted to get his undergrad degree and spend his free time doing that, even though that would be time consuming and cost money, I would support that. Like, I think it's just there needs to be more proof that this is something he's dedicated to and not just going to throw away the second it gets a little bit difficult and there needs to be a plan of action where the stuff at home is still evenly distributed and the finances can be evenly distributed but like yeah if he wants to get a degree because he's feeling some type of way about that like that's a great first step and if they can find the money and time for that sure that is one big thing to consider in this time it's time away from your family and your children that your parents and you're worried about your parents and the motivation is because of them you will lose out on so much time with them with your kids i mean just there's a lot to think about here so i really do think especially if op is like wants to stand by him and kind of try to work through this right now therapy yeah therapy but okay i'm ready for your story oh i have a story i'm ready for your story i have a story it's on my phone I'm not being rude guys it's a story I feel like we've been going like hi-lo hi-lo hi-lo because I'm like I feel like this one I'm nervous but I'm ready I'm just excited it's actually it's a tough one but it's just very unique and the subject matter I feel like has come up multiple times throughout my life at pivotal stages so I know no no I'm really excited to get into this.

1:19:58Okay, this is an r slash raised by narcissists, which I've never seen before. It's a crazy sub. And it's one day old. So I'm continuing your theme. Let's go fresh. The title is my mom used lice to control my social life. Dude, I'm already feeling itchy. From the ages of around eight to 15, I had lice off and on, but I think likely on the entire time. It was just never completely taken care of. My mom would never buy the shampoo, saying it was too expensive and never worked. She insisted on combing through my hair with a comb and individually picking out each louse with her hands. She wanted to keep my hair very long, so she refused to cut it and used that as an excuse for manually picking out the lice.

1:20:47Eventually, she graduated to using shower caps full of conditioner that I had to wear for at least two hour intervals. Obviously, I couldn't leave the living area during my lice quarantines. The conditioner worked to suffocate them sometimes, but I don't think it got all of them, as after a month or so, they'd be back. I was even instructed to sit at the table, hunched over a white piece of paper, and to scratch my scalp to let the bugs fall down, as well as nits, and to circle them on the paper. Question mark, question mark, question mark. My mom also sprayed Pam cooking spray all over my scalp after finding out that Pam kills lice.

1:21:23My scalp burned so bad, like all the bites from the lice were on fire. One time, we were going out to a drive-in theater and my mom made me go out with the shower cap. She put a beanie on my head, but I still cried and cried in shame. She showed me my head with a big beanie covering the shower cap. I assumed to show me it wasn't that bad, but what girl doesn't want to look cute when they go out? I felt so ugly and I looked silly. You couldn't tell if I was bald or not under the cap and it was huge. It made me cry even more, which both my parents laughed at. Fuck them. I had lice for years, and at times I remember them crawling in my eyebrows all over my head.

1:22:02Oh no. They were as big as fingernails and so painful. I had marks around my hairline that showed how bad it had been getting. My mom didn't fix it at its worst when I was 15 because she was ashamed of her boyfriend finding out I had lice. My dad ended up coming to the house, even though they separated, to finally fix my hair. He hadn't done it before because he was scared of her, and she always said it was her job. I think she kept not finishing removing them because that way I couldn't stay at other people's houses. It was so bad. Child abuse. Child abuse, child abuse, child abuse, child abuse.

1:22:36I'm like so sad for OP. From the ages of, I think, 8 to 15? I know, I was like, what's the 7 years? 7 years. Seven years to deal with an itchy scalp with animals, little gremlin lice biting your head. Yeah, there's like the physical pain. And then also, I think always being insecure about it. Always going to school, probably being known as the lice kid. Going to school, not being allowed to have sleepovers. Like, obviously, they weren't ever allowed to go sleep at other people's houses. And I think now they're trying to work through that and be like, was it really about the shampoo or did my mom like having an excuse that I couldn't go places it's a hundred percent control and again like I feel like Munchausen's yeah I think that's why that was on my mind earlier I know and it keeps coming up in like episodes for me and I'm like this feels like it where she's purposefully keeping her sick because I'm sorry just use the shampoo afford lice shampoo lice shampoo um 15 17 26 the shower caps all of the conditioner you're using you're spending way more money seven years worth no it's abuse yeah it's literally what a freak i know i know and also that's like a very it's a very uh unique method of control like no one I feel like people would struggle to even take that seriously right off the bat like oh I think my mom is purposefully letting my lice stay no it's kind of one of those like things where it's almost that plausible deniability where it's like oh oops I just didn't get them all oops I couldn't afford the shampoo yeah and the dad he's not off the hook either also abuse yeah stepping in oh I'm scared of her no just that one sense to be like well my dad didn't do anything because she said it was her job like okay you guys both of you both both of you step on a lego it's crazy it's it's very sad and i also like really related to the little thing about being a teenage girl and going to the movies and having to be in the shower cap and like just feeling embarrassed to be out i mean 15 you're like insecure about everything Even sophomore in high school, like, boys are starting to look at you.

1:25:00You might be interested in getting a boyfriend. You might have your first kiss. But you can't. And you're being forced to go out with a mask. Also, the mom said, not only is it too expensive, but it doesn't work as the excuse. Like, what you're doing is working. Why not try it? Let's try it. Let's just try it then. We spent seven years doing this. It doesn't work. Let's just try it once. Like, how do you know? Does OP say how old they are now? I actually was just wondering that. I wonder if they come back to it in the comments. They do have like responses on this thread. God, I'm so angry. The top comment is kind of shocking.

1:25:40It's someone saying, dude, I thought I was the only one. What? I had lice between the ages of 11 to 16. You got, no. My mom expected me to take care of it myself, but I didn't know how and was never taught. but I didn't know it was abnormal or child neglect to be treated like this so I internalized everything as if it was my fault and that I was disgusting. The constant paranoia of others finding out drove me crazy because the only person I had as a friend eventually when I was 12 did find out and I couldn't see her again until it was taken care of. It didn't go away until eventually I was hospitalized in the mental hospital after threatening to kill my family after breaking down and only then did the hospital staff finally take care of it.

1:26:22I wish I told them I had it for years and that my mom refused to take care of it Like I told wish they told the hospital staff I was also stuck living in my own filth yet my mom knew to clean up my room upon CPS coming over and I was too scared to say anything having lice that long. It's a unique experience Even now if I feel my head is itchy. I get paranoid I still remember the sensation of crawling in my hair. I remember scratching it raw I remember how the lice looked when pulling them out and then op replied i still get paranoid too and the evil thing is we were expected to magically rid ourselves of literal parasites without access to medicine or help on the back of our head what there's a reason other kids would have it for a couple days and be rid of it yeah other kids in my class even went to the doctor and had it taken care of there i just had to dot dot scratch my head over a paper.

1:27:14And circle them? Yeah. For what? Yeah. That's like such psychological torture. Scratch your head. And then when they fall out, circle them. It's crazy because there's actually a lot of comments of people kind of relating to this. Damn, if you are out there, if you are out there listening, I'm like, I know we have an audience under 18, which, hi, You're kind of crazy for listening, but like this is not okay. If you live in an unsafe home, it's not okay. You are a kid. Like you deserve to be taken care of and have basic access to medical stuff. And there's insurance programs in this country from when I was working, at least again, this country and everything's changing rapidly.

1:28:05But there used to be child health insurance protection and it was like chip and anyone under 18 even if your parents couldn't afford it you would have health care yeah and it's like you could go in and get access to that like it's just like but it's like these schools these schools are also supposed to be mandated reporters and it's like how do we even there was a comment about that to educate on such a niche little issue like do we need to go I know we have so many teachers out there and I know so many teachers are going to be like, I've dealt with this. Please chime in in the comments. I'm like, if anyone needs it, I will buy you lice shampoo.

1:28:41Like, please, anyone out there listening, like, do not go through this. Well, I can't imagine having this trauma for seven years and then being like, this is something that everyone else that I know was able to solve in two days. I've, yeah. So this just came up on Patreon. We talked about lice on Patreon. Really? Yeah. That's why I was like when you oh I'm just so I know some of the I know some of those comments were like and I can't imagine actually being traumatized by that and then reading that because I was like yeah no I I got lice in kindergarten I think it was like a really common thing in northern Minnesota to get lice during the winter with kids mixing up hats and sharing hats sharing brushes whatever so I got lice in like kindergarten and my mom I mean everything all of our stuffed animals went into a plastic bag for months.

1:29:30Everything got washed. We had lice shampoo. She picked it out with the comb. She made me sleep in mayo overnight, like a shower mask with mayo. She wasn't taking any chances. She did everything. And like I spent hours with my head down on the kitchen table. Oh my God. Picking out the lice. And so like I have that experience of like truly like that is the level of care a parent should give their child and to hear this yeah I'm like I'm physically disturbed it also another reason it feels purposeful and like a method of control is that for any other parent you'd think they wouldn't even want the headache of dealing with this for seven years life spreads yeah and like not having a home where you can have people over and not be worried about lice and like be picking them out of your child's head every night like this isn't a desirable situation so like it's beyond just neglect and not caring because there was an involvement you're watching your kid basically every day for seven years scratch their head yeah cry yeah be in emotional physical turmoil yeah sick it's awful it's awful and that's i think that she'd be in jail an interesting thing about this sub like raised by narcissists A crazy sub.

1:30:50Yeah. OP has 43 contributions, a month old account, but they've made some other posts as well. They had one in like r slash vent like a month ago, like 37 days ago. Some other stuff. They replied to a lot of comments. I don't know how old they are now, but they have one comment 20 days ago about when they first went to college. So they are out of the house, out of the house, a little bit older. I would assume like 20s or something. They have a comment like when I was in college, I would venture share my experience growing up. So they've got, yeah, yeah, a little bit separation from there, which I can't imagine like the mental process you'd have to go through to come to terms with this situation and like how you were living in that situation.

1:31:43But that's why I guess subs like that are so great to have. So important. So important for people to be able to like share and bond over this trauma they've gone through. I'm like the fact people were in the comments being like, I thought I was alone. I went through this. It's like, I'm, I'm shocked. I'm genuinely like shocked, but like to have that camaraderie, because it sounds like both of them are also dealing with like PTSD from this. Yeah, absolutely. They're both like living with paranoia about any itchiness they experience but it's also like well now you could get the shampoo at least again again if anyone is out there create an amazon wishlist for your lice shampoo and i will literally get it for you yeah yeah i mean i'm sure for other situations it is just neglect but this one does sound like a method of control and like a purposeful choice i'm fucking shell shot i know that's scary we were either gonna do for this episode like a like rare situation or like worst person situation i was like this works for it could be literally both no it could be both like another theme i'm working on is worst of the worst and these are just stories that are these people are such despicable creatures well parent stuff hits so hard too like that's just because it's so out of your control as a kid yeah you're they're so vulnerable you're vulnerable you're at their mercy.

1:33:12Oh, man. Okay, well, let's get into a goofy one. Shit. This episode is brought to you by Cash App. I myself have fallen for a scam, thought I was getting a really good deal on tickets, and bam, I sent the money and I didn't get my tickets. There's so many common scams these days and finding all the red flags can be hard. That is where Cash App comes in. Keeping your money safe from fraud deserves to be a priority and Cash App treats it that way. With security lock, Cash App requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. It's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard even if your phone is lost or stolen.

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1:35:03This is titled, My 20 Female Boyfriend, 30 Male, Pranked Me by Saving Up His Turds in the Litterbox. No. No. God. No. This morning, my boyfriend did this fucked up prank on me, and I don't even want to come home. I moved in with him a few months ago because his roommate of a few years moved out. I've been wanting to move out of my parents' house since I graduated and work a job where I can afford to pay the roommate's rent, so yeah. My boyfriend is a total sweetheart, but sends me kind of mean prank TikToks sometimes. Stuff I'm not really a fan of, but whatever. I warned him if he ever did anything really mean-spirited to me as a joke, I would just leave, because why would you treat someone you love like that?

1:35:52He has two cats and usually cleans the litter box every day, but he's been sick lately so I've done it the last couple of days. I hate cleaning the litter box and I'm not a fan of his cats but I love him so of course I'm going to do that for him even if it makes me gag or whatever. He reminded me to clean it today as I was putting my scrubs on and I told him I would after work as I have been but he said one of his cats had a really gnarly one and he could smell it through his vapor rub on his chest when he passed the kitchen and to pretty please bring him a bowl of cereal lol so yeah title i went downstairs and i smell nothing but i check inside the litter box it's in a cubby with a hole cut out and god all caps there's multiple huge huge turds in there.

1:36:49No. It's funny saying that now, but it was fucking nasty. Is it funny saying that now? One poking right out, barely covered by the sand, and I can see more like kind of buried in there a little, and I start gagging like crazy and get up. I really, really already knew this did not come from a cat, but wanted to be wrong, and no. He asked me where his cereal was and started laughing. I was still gagging and kind of tearing up, and I asked him, quote, what the fuck was that? Because I still wanted to believe it just came from our neighbor's dog or something, but he told me, laughing through tears, that he has been collecting his own turds for like a week now just to prank me.

1:37:37Using what method? He really is sick though and he was trying to find an excuse for me to clean the litter box because he read about someone doing this prank before and thought I'd find it funny but I thought he knew me better. Guess not. Anyways I'm at work now on break and I told him I'm moving back in with my parents. Thank god. I don't really have many problems with him besides the fact that I feel like I'm doing most of the housework sometimes but this was just too much. And I don't want to be bluffing by saying I would leave him if he did something mean-spirited. So that's what happened today.

1:38:13By the way, no, I did not clean it. He can clean up his own shit. He said, because I already work in an elderly care home, I should be used to it already. Now he's apologizing. No, thank God she left that house. Absolutely not. Also, like, how could she ever be attracted to him again? I don't, I don't understand this. This is so disgusting. What is the humor? There's, there's no joke here. There's no originality. There's no like, Ooh, that, that was so clever what you did. I, he needs to marry, like he needs to find another guy. Maybe I think like, I think that's the only person who would maybe find this funny, find another guy and that does prank videos and they could be roommates and like have a lovely time together maybe.

1:39:03I don't think any woman is going to like this. I understand everyone poops. I find some poop stories funny. Poop knife, read a hall of fame. Okay, crazy. But if I saw that much of Justin's shit, and also you knew he collected it and put it there. And where was he keeping it? How was he collecting this shit? Where was he storing this shit? It crossed my mind, but I was scared to pose the question. If I saw that, I would be so repulsed by him. Yes. It would be hard to come back from that. Yes, I don't want to touch him. Like, and I get, hey, sometimes the toilet doesn't flush perfectly. Okay, I'm going to whoop, flush, whatever.

1:39:47Yeah, very different, different thing. But the fact you went through this effort and these lengths, nobody. No, sir. No. No, thank you. No, thank you. Devil be gone. that's just I you just wouldn't be able to look at them the same and also it's just weird to do to somebody and I don't like the prank thing in general but this has to be one of the grossest this is crazy yeah this is crazy and the age gap to 20 30 he's 30 Oh my god I will say I'm so so so impressed with the fact that she just stuck to her guns Yeah thank god Especially as a 20 year old As a 20 year old Oh my god How many excuses I made for people Yeah Younger dating them Oh my god I'm so impressed She wasn't even living with him long before he pulled this shit I can't imagine I know A few months And then he started no self control Get out Get out quick Get out quick So top comment not only was he cruel to you, he was cruel to his pets.

1:40:53Yeah, that's true. I didn't even think about that. The cats. So I just went on Miles's podcast. Yes. It was so good. Shout out Perfect Person. Literally such a fun podcast. And we had a caller on it that said that their roommates were peeing in the cat's litter box. Oh, I saw. I saw that this was a thing. And now their apartment smells because the cats aren't going in the litter box. Yeah. And a bunch of people on the perfect person like YouTube, like in the comments were like, cats will not use litter boxes if they're dirty or if like it doesn't even smell like them. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God.

1:41:30And this. And then here it is. And then this. Yeah. Like, and now he has to go in there. Now he has to deal with that because she's gone. So good luck with that. OP responded, not even a fan of cats, but that is very sad. I think he placed them there yesterday or this morning after I scooped it yesterday. I didn't even think of that. Oh my God. Someone else. Placed them there. If you don't leave, then you are signing yourself up for a lifetime of cruel pranks. I've talked about this with people before, how women can get into this like mommy role in their relationship and how even just like that can sometimes negatively affect the sexual chemistry and like the romantic chemistry.

1:42:16This kind of takes that to like the 10th degree. It's like this is a child and it's a disgusting baby child that I have to literally clean the shit up of. No, thank you. That is not appealing to anybody. No. So we do get an update. Ooh. I realized I'm still logged into this account instead of my main. So I thought I'd give an update before logging out forever. I've officially moved back out, back to my parents' house. And they're very, very glad I'm back. Yeah. I haven't told them why we broke up, but they think he cheated. And that's fine by me because the truth less embarrassing is honestly more embarrassing he kept texting me all day while i was at work and i ignored him the whole time until i went home when he was texting me that's when i learned he kept them in the mini fridge in his room because he said quote that's why i told you so angrily not to take my red bull from there he usually doesn't care when i got home i saw that it was stored in a Tupperware container because it was in the sink along with an assortment of other dishes he left for me with like assorted brown streaks inside it.

1:43:38I didn't clean it and I think that's when he realized I was actually so pissed. I slept in my own room instead of his and when I woke up all the dishes were done and he bought me flowers. I packed up for a couple of days and he knew I was leaving. He was really sad and helped me pack one day and broke down crying. He said that he made his old roommate leave too with his antics. And I didn't push further though. Now I really do have to wonder. I understand why some would find it funny because this is something I'd laugh at in a sitcom or something, but not in real life. It just felt disrespectful and disgusting.

1:44:14And while at work, I just kept thinking about how honestly, how often he made me feel that way. We had been trying for a baby for a month. What? In parentheses, dumb at my age, I know. Oh my God. And I was thinking about him talking to our future son or daughter like he'd talk to me sometimes and just felt this full body cringe slash chill. To everyone that thought this was a prank, from me to Reddit, what would I gain from that? I have more karma on my main just for sharing pics of my Tamagotchi collection. I know it doesn't matter overall and that someone calls every story fake. I do that too.

1:44:54It's good to suspend your belief when reading things on Reddit, etc. But it still kind of hurt my feelings. Like I felt like I had to defend myself. When I got home, by the way, it was already cleaned up by him. Otherwise, I would have gotten a picture. I wish I did when I first saw it and I regret not doing it so much. But I wasn't thinking in that moment. I'm glad she didn't personally. You would have shown me that shit and I would have been unhappy. Anyways, yeah, we broke up. Wow, I'm so glad they broke up. Also, girl, you were in danger. He was trying to, they were trying for a baby? He was trying to trap her.

1:45:28Also, no. Baby trap. That's a baby trap if I've ever seen one. Learning more about him, it's like no wonder he is dating 20-year-olds and he can't even get like a 20-year-old to put up with his behavior. Insane. The fact he took that shitty Tupperware and left it in the sink for her to see and clean. Yeah, hell isn't hot enough. If he actually would have like learned and been like, oh no, she's mad, throw it away. Oh, I, yes, that is one that you just throw away. You don't need to save that Tupperware. You really don't. I know a lot of people were commenting and like he probably threw it away after.

1:46:09And one of the comments in the best of Redditor post on this, I love how optimistic that last commenter is about this guy throwing out the Tupperware. I guarantee you that being left to his own devices, this man put the Tupperware back in the cupboard. And then what did he do with the sponge that he used to clean? Sorry. Nope. Sorry. Also back to cats, we've had a story where someone was using their dish brush to clean out the cat's litter box, to scrub the cat's litter box. And it was, and then it was back in the, and then back to the sink and then back to the litter and then back to the sink.

1:46:48Okay. People are so silly. This has to stop. I know not a single one of you out there listening right now would ever do something like that. No chance. Because you're all good, lovely people. But we as a collective have to do something about this. How do we create a list of like, don't clean cat shit with your dish sponges? Like, how do we create an all-encompassing list of like, PSA, here's some public life advice. Love it. Carousel on Instagram. Maybe we make a Google form. Like, maybe we can put that together and like, everyone can submit their life advice and we just keep it rolling. Things we shouldn't have to tell you, but maybe we do.

1:47:30Dude. That's yes. Yes. That's terrible. It's really awful, Morgan. Well, we're not ending on that note. Thank you. Certainly not. This is coming from True Off My Chest. It is titled, I made my brother's girlfriend cry at dinner and he thanked me for it. My younger brother, Ethan, who's 23, got a girlfriend, Maya, who's 22, in January. He met her at their university in the biology department. She's majoring in marine biology and he's doing general biology. They'd been talking for a while before she asked him out and they began dating. I've met Maya once or twice briefly, since I sometimes get asked by Ethan to get him lunch since my work's close.

1:48:16She's a very shy, sweet girl. Last week, on Saturday, we had an end-of-the-week dinner, where Ethan invited Maya for the first time. Our family has a tradition where we invite our partners to dinner only if we're serious, and whenever we do, the whole family has to bring a reasonably decent welcome gift for the new person. We did it with my husband and my oldest brother's wife. Apparently, it started on my father's side. Anyways, after we had dinner and sat on the couch, it was time for gifts. Everyone gave their gifts and I could tell that she was getting a bit emotional and I summed it up to her just not being used to it.

1:48:57My turn came, and I gave her a royalish blue scarf I had made with a hand-embroidered dolphin on the end of it. What the hell? Maya stared at it for a solid five minutes and then started crying. Like, completely sobbing. I began apologizing and asking if I did something wrong while my mom got her water and my brother comforted her. After a bit, she calmed down and said she was okay and that I did nothing wrong, but she left a bit early from dinner with Ethan. I was truly, like, so confused on what I did that yesterday I called Ethan and asked what was wrong. He told me that her father died three years ago from cancer and that he, who was also a marine biologist, the reason she wanted to be a marine biologist, used to call her Dolly.

1:49:52slash dolphin because it was her favorite animal growing up and still is, and that his favorite color was also coincidentally blue. Oh my god. Maya has been depressed ever since his death, and she was so emotional that she ended up crying really bad that night because she loved the scarf. Maya wanted Ethan to tell me that she didn't dislike me or anything of the sort, and Ethan also thanked me because the morning after, she was grinning all day with the scarf, which hadn't happened in the year that he's known her that's so like uh beautiful it's so it's so cute like the thoughtfulness and just like the coincidence of it all which like probably the universe it's just like signs like everything i don't know i felt like such a sign yeah i'm still here yeah it's just so special I don't know if I've I've talked about it on here yet I talked about it over on clues but after the episode I did with Kaylin someone reached out because she talked about losing her aunt Susan and the person reached out and was like you know as I was listening I just kept getting glimpses of these yellow flowers and they sent me this message on Patreon.

1:51:14And I, I sent her a screenshot of it and she goes like, shut up. I got the chills. Like yellow flowers were Susan's favorite flowers. Oh my God. And so our listener who's over on Patreon who, you know, I'm talking about, I like sent back and I was like, oh my God. Like it was just like, it was such an amazing thing. I'm like, some people are just so gifted. So this is really special. Everything is connected. There's like little threads that tie us all together in this world. It's a really beautiful thing. It really is. So be a rare breed in a good way, not a freakish way, not a bad way. Way to tie that up, Morgan.

1:51:54This is why you're a pro. I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I crash out every week. New episode drops, comments drop, and I'm like, I'm a failure but I'm just like not feeling like myself so this this felt good this was a nice distraction and just I feel like we had a good a good mix a good balance of stories and well that's such a great tradition too oh my gosh even just that without the um beautiful coincidence that it turned into like love a present that was such a kind thing and I think even without that like if you've recently lost a parent to then like experience such a warm welcoming family when that's something you've been missing like that's already so overwhelming and incredible it's so incredible so that's really nice yeah absolutely oh yeah that's a good note 10 done I like it thanks for ending us on that note we needed to story no god not to remind everyone that that happened but yeah yeah I didn't do that no it was a good balance good balance and uh I like the palate cleanser I've found a few really good palate cleansers lately yeah so excited to keep bringing them up but if anyone has any new theme ideas you want to see drop them in the comments um there's going to be some amazing bonus content on patreon this month with this theme the worst of the worst theme.

1:53:18And I'm really trying to find the right person to come sit with me for the work episode. I have so many amazing work stories now, but I want to find someone who's like maybe a creator, but also still works and or like is an HR creator. Yeah. So if you have any ideas about creators you'd like to see on upcoming episodes, let me know. I feel like there are creators who that's kind of their niche a little bit yeah like job tips and like work stories I know stuff like that I know I need I need there's a perfect suggestion yeah well it'd be nice if like you guys let me know and then there was like kind of a common majority I think that'd be great I'm also already thinking about a pride episode and I've got a few stories that I'm like starting to tee up.

1:54:08So if you see any stories that would be good for pride or any, again, people that you'd like to see come sit with me and respond to the stories, let me know. But other than that, thank you for being here another week and until next time. Bye.

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