272: Squirm Happens Ft. Sarah Sherman

25:48Not my first choice, but I agreed. Now he's throwing a tantrum that my body count is 20 times his. Is it time to just cut my losses and move on? I'm 25. I've been with my fiance for four years. I love him and used to respect him, but his recent fixation on this dumb subject has really hurt my respect. He proposed a year and a half ago. I said yes. About a year ago, he found out that his friend had slept with 100 women prior to getting engaged, and somehow this affected his psyche, and he proposed an open relationship. Guys, everyone's just fucking and sucking all over town. At first, I was disgusted by the thought, but I agreed after he threw a major meltdown.

26:39So I started going out with friends. The first few guys, I was so nervous because I'd been with two guys, including my fiance prior. but after I got over the nerves, I realized when there's no pressure to start a relationship, I'm really good at picking dudes up and sending vibes that I'm down to fuck. I've actually met several of them off Reddit as well. I've been with 42 guys in the past year. I never thought it would happen but I've enjoyed myself immensely. Okay. But honestly, I'm ready to stop. But as it turns out, my fiance is not good at it And he's had two really bad hookups from dating apps.

27:18When we were having the where are we discussion. He had two and she had 40. He had another meltdown when he found out how many guys I've been with. He kept repeating, you've slept with 20 times the number I have. 20 times. I said, maybe we should just stop. He said no, that he wasn't ready now. now, but he wants to impose a rule that I have to have a break until he gets to 10. No. And then I can go out and meet someone new every five new girls that he sleeps with. No. No. To me, this is goddamn ridiculous. Part of the fun was the independence and not checking in. Now he literally wants me to keep a log, and then when he hits an achievement, then I can do my own thing?

28:08How shitty is that? In all honesty, I don't want a relationship where we compare numbers, let alone fuck other people. I want a normal life with kids and a house and a dog. What are we supposed to say? Quote, I watch the kids until you fuck five women, then it's my night. Is it time to just say enough is enough and move on? Is there any hope here? This guy's a fucking loser. Nobody wants to have sex with him because he sucks, obviously. This guy sucks. Get out of there. This guy stinks. I mean, it's either an open relationship or it's not. Right. And then the thing with these open relationships, like when the rules happen and now their rules had numbers, like a numerical coefficient, like get out now.

28:51This guy's in now. Nobody wants to fuck him. Take the hint. this is kind of what happens with these open relationships though like typically yes guys will do this right i have seen one though where someone just wrote in a reddit and he's like my wife told me and he literally this is the quote she wants to be a slut and like was asking for an open relationship and wanted to sow her wild oats whatever but typically it's coming from a guy yeah and then relationship is open woman has an easier time and then they get upset they have no confidence. It's like not anyone's responsibility that he like has no self-worth.

29:29He's a loser. And that's what I think he needs to work on is like you need to be more confident in yourself. Like why are you comparing yourself to your friend that slept with 100 women? And by the way, he's lying. You think? It's like everybody's lying. So, Opie does have a little bit of an edit. RIP my inbox with people calling me a whore. Guys wow Glad my best karma Has to do with me sleeping around I have 1400 unread messages And 17 chat requests I'm almost certainly not going to bang Anyone from this thread So we do get an update I guess I made the front page Of Reddit yesterday Whatever I read the responses well into the morning While my now ex-fiance Absolutely blew up my shit Alternating between calling me a whore And a see you next Tuesday asking me why I disgraced myself and him like that.

30:25He also peppered the barrage with things like, what's going to happen to us after this? I finally fell asleep at like 3 a.m. and should have worked, but after finally admitting that I needed to break things off with him, I called in sick to work. Went to fiance's house, asked to come in, told him we had to talk. He said we did. But as a testament to his fucking out-of-control ego, he prefaced his part of the conversation with, quote, I want you to know in advance, I may not be ready to accept your apology. Fuck him. I planned on being nice, but that was too much. I just told him it's over between us.

31:01His look of surprise was a combination of pathetic and amusing, because even after calling me all sorts of gendered slurs for the better part of a few hours, he still wasn't expecting me to break up with him. He begged me to know why. I think I told him he had to know why, and I tried to leave. I had no desire to talk to him, so I tried to leave and he kept blocking me. I finally told him that if he didn't fucking let me go, I was going to call the police. He finally relented, but as I was trying to drive away, he came out and started punching the driver's side window. It was terrifying, but it didn't break.

31:38Between leaving his place and getting to mine, he texted me and called a dozen times. I just blocked him, deleted the whole conversation without reading it. Fuck him too, because I had the ring in my pocket and planned on giving it back to him. But now I'm too scared to see him and give it back, so I'm selling the motherfucker or getting it melted down. So that's that. I don't know. This might get removed in a few days, but it's all good. I don't know whether I'm coming or going at this point. It's been a crazy couple of days. We're going to see this guy on the front page of the news for something crazy.

32:09You called it. I absolutely called it. Moving along. Psycho. Moving along to this next one. Are you a thrifter? Do you like thrifting? Everything I'm wearing. You're good. Okay. So this is coming from r slash reselling. It's a subreddit for professional resellers and those that aspire to be. This one is titled, I bought a box at Goodwill for$5 and I need some advice on a situation that has developed. I do my usual Goodwill rounds on Saturday mornings looking for stuff to flip and I found this nice looking wooden box with brass hardware for$5. I thought it was a jewelry box or maybe a cigar humidor, so I figured I could flip it for$40,$60 easy.

32:58I got home and opened it up, and it was heavy and full of a grayish powder in a sealed bag. There was also a small metal plate on the inside lid that I didn't notice in the store. Like it has a name and two dates on it. Yeah. So yeah, I bought a person. Yeah. I listed it anyways and dumped the bag into a Tupperware container and listed the box on eBay and it sold within a day. About a week later, I get a message on eBay from someone asking if the box had anything inside of it when I bought it. I said no because I panicked and I'm a bad person. They sent a second message that was very long and very emotional, explaining that their mother passed last year, and somehow her ashes ended up at Goodwill after a family dispute, and they've been searching for them for months.

33:54They described the box in perfect detail, including a small scratch on the bottom left corner. So now I have a dead woman's ashes in a glass Tupperware container in my garage, and her grieving daughter is messaging me on eBay. And I already told her the box was empty, and I sold the box to someone in Ohio. I looked into whether Goodwill is liable for selling human remains, and the answer appears to be complicated, and also nobody has tested this in court, which is not comforting. My questions are, one, do I come clean to the daughter? Two, how do I explain that her mother is in a Tupperware container now?

34:32Three, is there a way to get the box back from Ohio without explaining why? Four, can Goodwill ban you? Because I still need to go there on Saturdays. If he doesn't give the ashes to the daughter, he's going to hell. But what do you do? You'd be like, I have your mom in a jar. You have to give them back. Yeah. I wouldn't be able to sleep with myself if I didn't find a way to get these ashes back. No. Like, how is this even a question? I feel like there's people out there that would have flushed them, to be honest. Yeah. Or thrown them away. Yeah. I think this happens pretty commonly at Goodwill.

35:08Really? I think it's like a thing that they get ashes quite a bit. Right. Lord. He's got a—it is interesting that he kept them. Well, he felt guilt. He had to have felt some guilt. How does he not have more guilt now? Everyone's probably telling him to return them, right? Let's see what the comments say. Top comment. Just tell them you lied at first because you felt guilty for accidentally coming home with the remains and that the box sold. Get them the ashes. They don't care about the box. You could be the real key in their grieving process. Good luck. Someone says, yes, this. They want the ashes, not the box.

35:47I will say, urns are pretty pricey, though. How much is an urn? If it's like a stone one, like I paid$600 for one. Whoa. $700. Okay. Can you open it? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I looked in the ashes. I like wanted to see if you could see any teeth because I had previously heard that sometimes it doesn't. And was it? There were some shards. Like bone? It's hard to tell. Hard to tell. But this is like a box. It was like a wooden box and then it comes in just like a bag. Like they're just in a bag. And they're like gray. It looks like fireplace soot. But an urn, they're just loose in there. No, still in a bag typically.

36:31Unless you pour the bag into the urn. Right. But like we just shoved the bag into the urn. And it's like a plastic bag. Yeah. This is like, I mean, I think you can kind of get a bunch of different options. Oh, the wood is a bargain. $79. I wouldn't know that that was an urn. Urn. Oh,$400. Also, who's buying like a wooden box on eBay? This sold immediately? I don't know. Cigar boxes are pretty bougie. I guess, right. I wonder if this person, if like the person who's buying it on eBay. No. like yeah i would think not but maybe they labeled it as an urn because how did then the other person find the listing so it must have been labeled like with an urn description had like i don't know dates or whatever brass plate right i've literally i've looked on ebay and offer up in craigslist for lost items of mine so like it can be done yeah what were you what what was missing oh Cartier ring just slipped off my finger.

37:32I was hand sanitizing outside of a Lululemon and Studio City and bam, popped off, didn't feel it. You know the thrifting hack on eBay. What is it? You just, you type in designer names wrong and it's people like not really knowing what they have. That's good. Like listing items wrong and then you get like, you know, cheap com de garçon because someone didn't know what they had. That's smart. Mm-hmm. That is really smart. Yeah, okay. Now I know what to do. I'm on the hunt for some things. You're cardiating, that's for sure. I know. It's clean. It's sanitized. We've replaced her. Oh, congratulations.

38:11She's fine now. She's good. But yeah, definitely got to give this back. We don't have an update, so we have no idea what OP does. OP, you're going to the fiery furnace of hell where the ashes were. You're going into the crematorium if you don't return that. That's crazy. You have to give them back. Have to. And also, this episode is brought to you by Chrysler. Life with kids is basically a never-ending series of plot twists. One minute, everyone's buckled in. The next, someone's dropped a snack, lost a shoe, or needs a bathroom break immediately. That's why the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica is built for real life.

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39:43Evening, buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice? I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. Like, can I get banned from Goodwill? No. No, you can get banned from all of your group chats if you're the guy. I wouldn't be texting you back if you're the guy who didn't return the mom's body.

40:25No, I'd be done with you. Okay, this next one, this is coming from r slash relationship advice. It's titled, my boyfriend loves to feed me meals every day. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months. He's the best boyfriend I've ever had. He's so sweet and attentive. he always puts me first and it's honestly a fresh of air compared to my past relationships. He's a chef. Whenever we went out to eat, he would always feed me a bite of his food. I never minded and thought it was cute. When we started hanging out with others at their houses, he would always offer to cook and then he would feed me my meal.

41:04I told him it's fine, I can feed myself, but he would always insist. He said he loves feeding beautiful women his food. Right. You've got a pervert, ladies and gentlemen. Now it's kind of escalating. He wants to feed me on his lap. Yeah. I told him that I'm not interested in sitting on his lap and getting fed. I'd rather just watch the show and eat my chips myself instead of a whole meal he made. When I say no, he gets a bit awkward and I start to feel bad. But it's so weird how he loves to feed me all my meals. Why? I know there's way weirder things out there and the intention is sweet, but I'm starting to think it might be a kink or something.

41:47Yes, it's a kink. You have a feeder boyfriend. I don't discuss the intimates of my relationships with my friends, so I'm on here. Is this weird or sweet. By the way, this is a daily occurrence whenever we're together. Well, first of all, why don't you got friends you could talk to? Some people just like don't want to embarrass themselves or like say something bad about their partner and then stay with them. And it's like, well, I'm staying with the food guy. If your boyfriend's got a feeder fetish, if you're not into it, get out of there. That's what he likes. He's like shoveling it into her mouth by hand.

42:24I wouldn't mind that. You wouldn't? Hungry. I'm a hungry girl. The top comment. I mean, it's gotta be good. It's gotta be good food. Sit in his lap. Have fun. It would only, the novelty would wear off, though. Yes. It would wear off very quickly. And him getting, like, irritated by not being able to feed sounds, um, bizarre. It can't be every day. I'm like not king shaming at all because there's a right shoe for every left. Like someone's got a feeder fetish and they'll find their feety whatever. But like it would not do it for me to know someone's getting off on feeding me. And that's how I know I'm just I wouldn't.

43:07That's not my person. Right. Right. It sounds like she's not into it. Sounds like she does not have the right shoe for his left shoe fetish. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Top comment. I'm not even a little bit involved in the fetish kink community, and this is screaming fetish to me. Yeah. Someone goes, yep, the guy's a feeder. Someone says, I suggest you look into feederism. It's a fetish. Also be careful with your waistline, because if he gets off on feeding you, there's a chance he'll get off on fattening you up as well. Yes. That's part of it. Yes. It's like Hansel and Gretel. I know. I know all about this.

43:46Do you? I think I maybe need a feeder and I want to be the mouth. I'm hungry all the time. Are you really? Yeah. Do you have like, there's someone that literally just posted recently and they're like, I'm hungry all the time. Like, I think I have a parasite. Yeah, maybe. Honestly, maybe. Haven't gotten checked? No, there's like other problems that come first, I guess. It's just like the never-ending list of problems. I mean, all you have to do is mail-in poop. That's true. You're familiar with the process already. I'm very much familiar with this. I've sat on a train with a box of my own poop in my lap, and it was warm.

44:19What? I had to bring my poop to my doctor, and it was not mail-in. It was I was the delivery person on the train. Do you have tummy problems? Of course! Yeah, every hot girl does. You know Catches up with us The train though Was a new experience Yeah it was warm in my lap It was warm That was But it wouldn't That's a fresh sample It was fresh It was It wasn't even that fresh Yeah But I guess it's really hot When it comes out of you I Did not ever Come into contact with mine When I took samples I had like a little Like scoop Right And you just scooped it And you do it Then you did it there. No, I did have to have it in my house.

45:06And I like triple bagged it and just kept it by the door ready to go. I remember the scoop. Of course, I remember the scoop. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like he's trying to fatten this girl up. Yeah. And she's sitting in his lap so he wants to feel the weight. Yeah. OP does share, I'm naturally pretty thin. Since quarantine, I have gained 15 pounds, but I just assumed it was quarantine weight. feederism let me look it up sorry girl you got got you got fed you got fed you got full we do get an update i've never given a guess this many updates before thank you i appreciate it yeah taylor tomlinson like actually like cried over the lack of updates i had for her i'm so sorry taylor i've bested you i learned from my ways so update thanks for everyone that replied i read every single one.

45:58I didn't even think my question would get more than a few replies. Someone commented that I researched feederism and I did. And wow. So many things became clear. And now in hindsight, I'm shocked I didn't see it earlier. In my defense, I'm not a kinky person. I didn't even know this was a kink. For starters, I'm naturally pretty thin. It's a big insecurity of mine. I know she keeps repeating it. I know. We get it. Rub it in. I'm 5 '7". When we first got together. I was 110, now 125. Oh, she's thin. When he first met my parents, he later remarked that my mom being so thin after having five kids is crazy.

46:37Looking back, he seemed disappointed. He also tells me all the time that I have the perfect frame to be thick. He noticed my weight gain before I did, and during sex, he would always caress my waist, hips and stomach area and tell me I'm looking more voluptuous. It really didn't click. It really didn't click for you. He also told me that he can't wait for me to get pregnant because he knows I'll be even more beautiful and he'll feed me so much I'll never snap back. He always said it in a joking tone and a laugh, so I thought it was a dumb joke. I decided that before I say anything to him, let me look up his exes and see if any of them have gained a lot of weight.

47:21He's new to the area and has only been with one girl before and her Instagram page is private and her profile photo is a group picture. So I couldn't tell which one she is. Then I looked up her name on LinkedIn and she has a profile. She co-owns a business with her sister whose Instagram isn't private. So I searched up and my suspicions were confirmed. She used to be average weight and now she looks heavier. I was still in denial and thought maybe that she was responsible for her weight gain and not him. I just couldn't believe this fetish was a thing. I invited him over last night to watch a movie.

47:55I was scared to see him because I know if I didn't say anything, I probably never would have the courage because I'm not very confrontational. He came over and watched a movie and ordered food. Our food came. He heated it up in the microwave and plated it for us like he always does. He kept the two plates next to him. And when I tried to grab one, he held them above his head and shook his head with a grin like it's cute. I rolled my eyes and he grabbed a fork and took pieces of chicken and then held it in front of my mouth. I refused to open my mouth, so he pressed it against my lips. No, no. And I pulled back and stood up to grab the plate that he was holding over his head.

48:38No. He gave me a weird look and I wanted to say sorry so bad. Why am I like this? But I didn't. I just grabbed another fork, walked over to my couch with my plate, and started eating, hoping he could take the hint without me having to say anything. He came to sit next to me and started eating too, and we just watched the movie for a few minutes in peace. He then took a piece of chicken off my plate and tried to feed it to me again. This is a no means no situation. This time I said no, and he asked what was wrong. I said nothing was wrong and that I'm an adult and I'm perfectly capable of eating my own orange chicken by myself.

49:16He said he knows I'm an adult and he wants me to concentrate on the movie instead of worrying about feeding myself. He then tried to keep pressing it against my mouth and I just wouldn't open it. Dude, relax. This is like a Law and Order episode. Are you kidding me? I would go crazy. Can you imagine? Donald's closed. Getting orange chicken off your lips. Oh my god. At this point, I was fed up and I snapped at him. That is weird to constantly want to feed me and I don't want him to anymore. I did say it in a harsh tone, but I was upset. He tensed up and didn't say anything and scooted to the other side of the couch.

50:07He scooted, dude. Then he just stared me down as I ate. Literally, he wasn't even watching the movie. Even when I would look at him thinking he would look away, he would just stare at my mouth as I chewed. I was disgusted. After I finished my food, he picked up his uneaten plate and he told me that I could have it. I told him I'm good dude I'm good and he said he'd rather it not go to waste and if I'm too tired to feed myself he'll do it bro relax I was fed up again and told him that I think we should break up because we're obviously not on the same page he asked if all of this was because he wants to feed me and I said yes it is he said that he's a chef and he loves food and he also loves women and there's nothing better than combining the two.

51:03Right. He's going to eat a woman. That was my first thought. I felt like an object. He said that this can't be the real reason why I'm ending things and I must be seeing someone else. Right. That he treats me like a queen and most other boyfriends wouldn't have ever cooked me a meal, let alone have fed it to me. Right. They wouldn't have. I asked him to leave and he wouldn't until I gave him the real reason as to why I broke up with him. I said, because you have a feeding kink. And he started cackling, saying that I'm a sick bitch. Oh, Jesus. And that a guy showing me he loves me, someone as sad and disgusting as me must truly be some sort of kink because no one in their right mind would ever do it.

51:50All these men are going to be on the news, I swear. Then he left and blocked me everywhere. I loved him before, but that conversation turned me off so much. I'm honestly not sad that we're over. I'm actually kind of relieved. I just don't understand why he truly has this kink, why he wouldn't tell me and ask me to indulge in it. Why would he deny it and block me? It is because of my dismissing behavior when he tried feeding me? This guy, there's going to be a doc. He's about to catch a documentary. The Feeder Swindler. Yeah. Yes. It's coming. Coming soon. In denial? Yeah. How could you be in denial about being a feeder?

52:28You're pressing the chicken in her lips. I love cooking, and I love women. Girl, you didn't even cook the food. You microwaved it. You door-dashed that. Ugh. Like, what? Bizarre. I would not be able to handle this. Watching, having someone just stare at my mouth as I chew. If you're a feeder, no problem. Hey, what's up? I'm a feeder. can I put this orange chicken in your mouth awesome next all good it sounds like it's like a control thing yeah I wonder if that's where it comes from I will make her weigh 138 pounds psychologically I'd love for a psychologist to chime in and just like give us the top fetishes and be like this is where it comes from and it's all good you can have that fetish just don't lie and be sus I do have another fetish one but what is like what's a kink that you think you would be okay with or a fetish that like isn't that out there one time I was in when I was in Chicago doing stand-up I had like a picture in the Chicago Tribune where my armpit hair was out and my friend was a dominatrix at the time and their client was like, had a body hair fetish.

53:49So he was like, yo, I saw your friend in the newspaper. Would she let me lick her armpit hair and jerk off? And I was like at the time, yeah, that sounds cool. It didn't end up happening, but I was open-minded. I was going to get paid a thousand bucks for a guy to lick my armpit hair and jerk off. I didn't have to do anything. A thousand dollars? At the time, I needed it. And it didn't happen. And I was... No, that's like... I know. Oh, I know. How do people find these opportunities? I have a friend that she would sell feet pics, but he didn't even want to see the feet. He just wanted to see the dirty socks.

54:28Oh. And I'm like... How much did she get for that? She made a lot of money. I know. A guy once asked me for feet pics. and he his big so he showed me like examples of what he wanted like it had to be like toes curling and all this like kind of stuff yeah that was like and I was like totally down it was like 300 bucks or something and then he said but your face has to be in it like it had to be like me going like whatever with my face in the background I was like bro if you want my face in it that's like that's like 2000 it's double and he wouldn't he wouldn't pay up I was doing a lot of volunteering for Bernie Sanders campaign at the time.

55:08Okay. And he wanted me to wear a Bernie t-shirt, underwear, no socks, curling my toes with my face in the background. So specific. I so, so... He wanted like universal healthcare, toes. He wanted it all. Why does this feel like a blackmail? Well, I was like, I'm cool. Like if you... I'm like, what if it was just my feet? No face. And he was like, no, your face has to be in it. No. And this is when I was like, you know, I hadn't gotten on SNL at the time. I was kind of hoping my, you know, had your fear. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I kind of just didn't want those pictures out there. But I was, I said$2 ,000.

55:47He said no. What was the original rate? It was like$300. Oh, yeah, no. And I'm like, bro, pay off. You're really begging for specifics. Yeah. No. That is so, so funny. So this post is actually coming from our very own 2HotTakes subreddit. Oh. We've got our own page now. Whoa, whoa. And it's titled, I, 25 female, have a secret kink that I haven't told my partner 27 male about. Okay. I'm trying to exposure therapy myself into being able to share this with him. And I feel like this is a pretty accepting and sex positive community overall. So here we go. I'm a mid-20s woman who has been with her boyfriend for a few years ever since I became a sentient being I've always had a thing for tickling Like I've always wanted boys to tickle me.

56:43Yeah, and as I got older It's been really intertwined with some bdsm stuff and ultimately I want to be tied down and tickled until I literally can't think It's definitely a power dynamic thing and a I need to turn my brain off thing and it feels good to me physically and mentally. It could absolutely go a sexual route, but honestly, even just the tickling by itself would do it for me. When I was in college, I met up with a couple of guys in the city I was in who were also into it. Oh, that's cool. Literal ecstasy. Oh! I just floated for days afterwards. I've been with my boyfriend for a few years, and although I have a feeling he knows at least a little bit that I enjoy it, I haven't confessed it to him.

57:31He will tickle me a lot and has even made comments about how he can tell I like it. He just doesn't really know the extent of it. Anyways, that's my weird story to share. I'm happy to answer any questions or yield any judgment. I know it's atypical and it's def a shameful thing for me. No. Hence why I haven't shared it with my very sweet and loving boyfriend after all this time. Thanks for reading. Don't be ashamed, girl. Get your bag. Get your tickling bag. This one sounds great. There's a documentary about this. You're good. People know about it. The tickling? There's a doc? Yeah, there's a doc.

58:07There's a doc. You're good. What? Have you watched it? I know, but it was like a thing. I feel like this, out of all the ones to have, this sounds great. No one's getting hurt. No one's getting fat. No one's getting chicken on their lips. It's all good. A kuchiku? She's got to tell him. It's funny. Like so many people are coming to Reddit to ask questions that they already know the answers to. I know. But that's like that's the crazy thing about shame. Right. Where you just like her anxiety or whatever. Like is that barrier in our head where it's just like it's so irrational but yet just pesters you.

58:42Right. It's all good. I want to know what happened with those two guys from college. What does a tickling orgy look like? I know. Or was it even an orgy or was it just like a tickle down? Which is right. So it's a tickle orgy. I mean, with or without sex. Now I'm curious. I find tickling to be absolute torture, which I see as part of the BDSM part of it. She's depriving. Maybe she's like getting off on like depriving herself of joy. Don't do that. I know. Do not deny yourself. Tickle on. Life is short. Get tickled. Good for her. Do we have an update? We do have a little bit of an update, but I did look up that Tickled documentary.

59:28Yeah, yeah. It's from 2016, and it's about competitive endurance tickling. Yes. Yes. There's tickling competitions? Yeah, this is like a whole thing. She is like, there's a whole world out there for her. This is an activity in which young, athletic men are restrained and tickled by each other. This is crazy. I know. The world is so big and complicated Like there's so many things I don't understand Like this The slap competition Is that a fetish? It must be Don't touch my face Do whatever you want to me Don't touch my face Have you seen them? Their faces swell They get rocked I don't That's gotta be in line with this So yeah we do get a little bit of an update.

1:00:23Okay. After the top comment says, that's low key one of the least embarrassing kinks. I would think your boyfriend would be happy for you to open up to him. Only fun to be had. And so update says, I told him. He was mostly confused about why it was such a big deal to me. And he said he finds tickling me mostly amusing, but that he is open to making it sexual as well. Okay. I'm seeing him tomorrow, so hopefully I get wrecked. Okay. I can't imagine getting wrecked by a tickle. She's like a Teletubby or something. She's like a Care Bear. But I'm not holding any expectations of him because I know it is new to him.

1:01:03He also said to me that 90 % of the male population would shrug their shoulders at this and be perfectly okay with it. Yeah. Which basically aligned with the comments. So yeah. Yay. Thank you all very much for your kind words and encouragement. I have felt extremely weighed down by this secret and confession, and I finally hit a breaking point. All the affirming comments really gave me the courage I needed to move forward with this. She should be on Reddit finding her people. The ticklers? Yeah. I could be a new sub. Totally. But she's got her little tickle boy now. Right, but I kind of want her to get down.

1:01:38I kind of want her to go to, like, festivals and, like, conventions. There's got to be. Parties. I wonder if they trim their nails. Like, how in there do they get? Oh, you have to trim your nails, don't you think? I'm also like, I'm like, is there a difference between a sexual tickle and like a schoolyard tickle? Have you ever had anyone sit on you and tickle you? Yeah, like as a, as a torture. Yes, yes. Like that must be different. Or it's not. Wow I'm gonna be exploring this There is a video on TikTok About tickling At a Ren Fair Okay, right, there seems like a lot of Overlapping of interests here Yeah, which out of all the places To see tickling I'm like, but I'm like, I wonder if it is The same thing Ren Fair tickling I don't know, it's a whole thing Tickle fun Okay.

1:02:39Are they really, are we tickling each other at Ren Fairs? Yeah, they do everything at a Ren Fairs. Have you been to one recently? No, it's never come up. I know. I feel like you would thrive there. I know. Again, like the same thing with Disneyland. It's like, I don't want to be outside like walking around. You're too Jewish for like any of these things. Not outdoorsy? I don't want to like go outside. I don't want to do, I don't have time. Again, I don't have time for this crap. You've never been camping, have you? I slept outside one time and it was the worst day of my life. It wasn't camping.

1:03:15It was like I had to. I was doing comedy at a music festival in Kentucky. And we were all sleeping in tents and I never slept in a tent before. I couldn't find one fun thing about that. It was cold. Yeah. You're on the ground. Oh, you didn't even get it caught or like a little roll? I had like a little like egg crate. Yeah, no, I didn't. See, I— There was a spider. Ooh. I just like, no sleeping, lied there. I'm more of a glamper. Okay. But I do love a nice hotel. Of course. Love power. Love electricity. Oh, my God. I love a sink. I love soap. I love toilet. I love toilet. I know you can't. Want smoother, brighter skin without adding another complicated step to your routine?

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1:04:54Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Can't tell by my hair, but I do like to shower. Why? Don't pick on yourself. You're right. I put the glam in glam thing. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Man. Okay. I got one last one for us here. Okay. This is coming from Today I Fucked Up. It is titled, Today I Fucked Up by asking my friend's mom out. Oh. My friend's mom has been single for the last few years. She is currently in her mid-40s. I am in my early 20s, and I have always found her to be really attractive.

1:05:40She carries herself with confidence and has a pretty wicked sense of humor. For most people who do not know her, she can seem pretty cold, detached, and aloof, but once you get to know her, she is one of the nicest and most caring people out there. I have been strongly infatuated with her for the last two years. Recently, I ran into her in a shopping mall and we had a great conversation. She got us both a coffee and we had a good time yapping away at the cafe. Ever since, she appeared in my dream twice. I have never felt like this towards any other woman before. Not in the last 22 years of my life.

1:06:24Yesterday, I decided to make a move. I slid in her Instagram DM and told her that her dinner outfit was amazing and looked really good on her. Then I asked her for dinner, just to catch up further. She replied initially, saying sure, and she would bring her son Alon too. I did not know how to reply to that. I wanted to make it clear that this was a date and it would be the two of us. I gave it a few hours. Then I got a bottle of red wine, chugged two glasses down to calm my nerves and boost my confidence. Then I texted her, telling her I would love to go on a date with her. Right after I sent that, it was radio silence from her till an hour ago.

1:07:10She dropped me a text, gently declining my offer and telling me I'm a great kid and all the best with girls my age. I am absolutely crushed I don't know how my friend Will see me from now onward I have no idea if she told My friend Today I fucked up Milfhunter.com bro you're good Just get you a milf All you need is a milf you're good There's hey I bet a lot of moms deal with this My mom was Harassed Harassed By your friends My brother's friends. So my brother's eight years older than me. So like my mom had him when she was like 19. Sure. So she was always the hot mom. Yeah. And those, they're freaky.

1:07:59They are freaky. Moms are off limits. Come on. He's got some chops though. Because I would be squirming. Like that conversation, like you couldn't pay me. And good for her for responding tactfully. You're such a good kid. really like hammering that home. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Because some people have done this. You know, some people do sleep with their kids' friends. I can't be doing that. I'm like thinking of all my friends' dads and I'm like, well, I can see it. Yeah, well, what are you going to do? There's a couple. There's a couple. My one friend has an uncle that like everyone goes feral over.

1:08:43I was out. I was at a party, Bragg, the other night and one of my friends that I was with, there was like a young 25-year-old and she was like, oh, we go out with your uncle. Your uncle? No, like she said it to my friend. Like, oh yeah, like we part, hey, I know we've never met, but I partied with your uncle. Uncle stay inside. What? Why are they outside? Uncle, if you're an uncle, stay in. Yeah. You can't be outside. Oh my gosh. Yeah, no. Also, what a weird way to... Introduce yourself to someone. Yeah. I mean, I guess you find any bridge you can to cross with someone, but partying with my uncle would make me not want to be your friend.

1:09:23Yeah. I'm good. I'll see him on Thanksgiving and I want to be thinking about you. Yeah. Is the uncle famous? No. That was my question, too. How'd they meet? I don't know. Pilates? I hope. Is he gay? That's it. I mean, that would have been better, but no. Her uncle's outside. Yeah. Married? I'm being so discreet because I'm like. People start. Not married. Okay. Okay. I'm glad my uncles are. Locked up. They're locked up. They're not going out. Top comment on this one with 17 ,000 upvotes. Inviting her son was her way of turning you down nicely. Yeah, she was being nice. Do you get weird inquisitions these days?

1:10:13I could always get more. I try not to really look, but I'm sure there's some stuff in there. Well, you have an Instagram too. I have an Instagram, but you know how there's like a secret folder where they go? Yeah. So I don't open the secret folder because that's Pandora's box of hell. The requests? Yeah. So I see like messages from my friends. There's a separate folder. The requests. Where the creeps come out at night. I should look. I'd probably feel better about myself You'd probably have so many more Like hey Sarah I'm ready for your feet I'll pay 2k I know Honestly now Putting this out there If you want a picture of my feet With my face in it And I'm wearing a Bernie shirt 15k I'll do it no problem That seems like a That seems reasonable For nowadays Right It seems reasonable Okay You guys know where to find her right?

1:11:06Her to hear first Thank you so so much for coming on everyone go watch Sarah's special on HBO what else are you working on oh SNL just finished so oh my god yes your butt yeah my butt my butt was out it was so good well if you have a butt fetish watch that your auctioneer bit too did you watch see how did you prepare for that I literally watched cattle auctions it's I like rehearsed it a lot and then so I practiced it a lot and then I showed it to Matt Damon and he did it immediately without practicing. He's probably done it before though. Movie star. Yeah. He's probably done it before. At an auction.

1:11:53There's a school. There is a school. I see their videos on TikTok. Me too. I saw I was like watching a bunch of auctioneer videos to practice and I saw the school and I was like oh maybe I should hit up the school and like get a tutor for a day to practice yeah and then i should have done that hey i would have been coming back up again you never know you never know if anyone wants to tutor me betty butterbeer better better beer it's that's a real um yeah it's like they're yeah have you been to an auction no my dad used to be an auctioneer though it was like a side quest of his back in the day.

1:12:31What kind of auctioneer? He would buy companies and liquidate them. Oh, like a company auctioneer? Yeah. There's all kinds. Yeah. There's so many. Yeah. Oh, I actually have an auction I need to call into today. I'm trying to buy a piece of furniture. What kind of auction? It's a furniture auction. Yeah. Art furniture. But there's no fast talkers. No. No. I know. It's kind of vintage. It's a dying art. It really is. So guys, let's keep it alive. Yeah. Where can everyone find you? You can find me if you need to DM me request for feet pictures at Sarah Squirm on Instagram. And if you want to see my butt on SNL, you can look at it on YouTube.

1:13:12All of Sarah's links will be in the description. Until next time, guys. Bye. Bye.

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