278: Hot Mess Express

34:47You know, she's trying to. I think it's ridiculous. Point blank. I think male egos are annoying. So I'm annoyed that she said it. Like, it's a reason to excuse it. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's silly. I think I'd be like, dad, grow up. Come on, dad. I'd be more so like talking to my dad if he was seriously upset. Yeah. Yeah. Someone goes, not the asshole. When we all ate dinner that night. So you had dinner after eating 16 hot dogs. Jesus Christ. I hope he responds. I ate some green beans, I think. But man, the toilet was... Full. Destroyed. Double flush. Maybe triple. I don't like that that gave me a visual.

35:28I wanted a full poop episode. No, Justin. Call it Justin's poop episode. You can put that on your own channel. My first video. Yeah. Someone responds to that. Well, I'm certainly glad you added that detailed dogler. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, guys. We do get an update. Oh, let's hear it. I can't wait. 2025. Okay. As a little update, my girlfriend found this post. She was a little mad at first. Yeah, you put the dogler shirt on there. Dead giveaway. way. But overall, our original argument kind of went away because I put all of my clothes in the dryer and luckily I booked two consultation appointments.

36:18So that part of the argument went away as well. Say what? I missed something? Maybe because the job, like finances were kind of hard, like job stuff was tough. So that part of the argument went away as well. The hot dog thing was kind of just a bonus jab she threw in my face when she found the Dogler shirt in the washer. She doesn't really care about it now. She agreed to stop bringing stuff up from a long time ago and said she accidentally over-exaggerated how sad her dad was about the contest. I had a feeling. I had a feeling. So overall, things are nice. She's a little surprised and upset at the amount of posters that suggested we break up.

37:00Also, I was a little surprised by all the people who called me the asshole just for entering the contest. Also after a lot of asking I've decided to post the shirt I smoked a little too much before I fell asleep And I forgot to take the shirt out of the dryer Before I spent all day running my business But I remembered now I posted the shirt And had to make an account on Imgur Just for this So I hope you're happy Okay I am So he didn't post it originally No So they're probably not He's probably not wearing the shirt when they do it No It's a sore topic now it's just they're having sex he's winnie the pooing with just the dogler on oh my god winnie the pooing no thanks oh my god wait why is that like that image is just so i hate it but i love it it's hilarious immediately yeah you got it it's not really a comfy get up you know just wearing a t-shirt around it's not really yeah yeah i also don't like how now that I look back at the original post, my girlfriend and I were arguing about something else and she brought up the contest and said I'd acted childishly.

38:10Like we're going to be in a fight about finances and like, I don't know, paying our bills. And then it's thrown in your face like, yeah. And six months ago, you beat my dad in that hot dog contest and he was sad. Yeah. No. And she's trying to accuse him of being childish. And then she throws that in there. Ma 'am, the minute you bring up the dogler, you're done. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Credibility lost. It's gone with the dog. Out the window. People do that all the time. It's in the toilet mud. People are pulling shit up all the time in arguments. You know, I've been there. It does feel nice to sling a little mud when you're feeling fiery and hurt and whatever.

38:48But you're slinging the dogler as your mud. That's what I was going to say. I was like, it's actually, maybe it's even a nicer thing than what I would have done. because I feel like if I were to be mad bringing something up it would be something that like actually was like really hurtful for me you could hold a candle too yeah it's more valid so it's almost like it seems actually kind of innocent in hindsight that it was like yeah well well you eat a lot of hot dogs that is true that is very true well I like the dogler me too our guy that needs to be on a merch at some point hot dog yeah right next to the coconut.

39:27Just kidding. Too soon. The doggler. This episode is brought to you by Skims. I don't know about you guys, but I love the feel of cotton undergarments. They're lightweight, breathable, leave you continuously feeling fresh throughout the day. And my Skims cotton undergarments have been my new staple. I love the lightweight cotton thongs and my cotton rib boxers. The cotton jersey t-shirt has been amazing, whether I'm wearing it with an athletic skirt to run errands or jeans for a date night. This t-shirt is stretchy and it really just enhances everything with this body-hugging fit. It really takes comfort to the next level.

40:05It is a t-shirt that I could literally wear anywhere and with anything. So if you're ready to find some of your new favorite cotton pieces, some new staples for your wardrobe, try Skims. They've got all your simple basics that are going to end up becoming a part of your daily routine. Shop Skims cotton and all of my favorite pieces at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select my show on the dropdown menu that follows. Thank you. Okay. Number three, right here, right now. Right here. Right now. Right here. Yeah.

40:40No, same. God, we're so in tune today. Now she wants to do the chance, but she didn't at the start. That's a good one. A train is a little intimidating. Okay. Yeah, especially you guys should have seen you. I need to take a video. Wait, can you put it on the Instagram and I'll take a video and you can include it because. I know it was just like that, like to this. It was the way that. Am I taking a video right now? No, no, no. We can roll the tapes.

41:08But no, you don't see it from my angle, though. I get I get why you were scared. Don't need to. It's better from our angle. True. I feel like I have the best angle. I don't understand that. This one is coming from our very own Tuatix subreddit. It's titled, I told my wife she's extremely insecure and that I'm not going to throw away my childhood diaries just because they involve my ex. Am I wrong? No. I've been married to my wife for eight years and we have two kids together. Before I met my wife, I was with my ex for 14 years. We started dating in middle school and were together for pretty much my entire teenage years and most of my 20s.

41:49We eventually broke up because we wanted to prioritize our careers and it would have meant spending years in a long-distance relationship. It was sad, but mutual. During our relationship, we both kept diaries. They weren't shared journals. We each had our own personal diaries where we wrote about our lives, our relationship, our hopes, fears, and pretty much everything else. We also kept photos, ticket stubs, letters, and other little mementos. When we broke up, she asked if we could swap them. She wanted my diaries so she could remember that chapter of her life, and she gave me all of hers for the same reason.

42:29A couple of months after the breakup, I met my now wife. Since then, I honestly haven't paid much attention to those diaries. They were shoved in a bag somewhere and basically forgotten about. Last week, my wife was away on a business trip, and I was sort of bored. I wanted to finally read those diaries, and I spent an evening reading through the diaries and looking at the old photos. It was really nostalgic. Reading about what life was like back then and seeing everything that we had saved brought back a lot of memories. Her diary entries were full of how much she loved me and how she thought we would spend our lives together.

43:08When my wife got home and saw the diaries on the table and asked what they were, I told her the truth and even let her look through them. She got really upset. She told me I should throw everything away because it's disrespectful to our marriage. She also told me that I should stop having any contact with my ex. For context, my ex moved to another country years ago. We sometimes exchange a text maybe a few times a year, usually something like happy birthday or hope you're doing well. She's usually the one who texts me first, and I usually respond in one or two lines. I told my wife that I wasn't throwing the diaries away.

43:48To me, they're not just about my ex. They're a huge part of my childhood and the 14 years of my life. They're memories of who I was, not something I'm keeping because I want my ex back. I told my wife that she should stop being so insecure. Am I wrong? Well, okay. Because I, you know, the title kind of made me feel like it was, um, his diaries. Yeah. And a little more, like more innocent being just like, Oh, I have a crush on Susie in my class. But like this is like It doesn't feel great It feels like a romance movie And it doesn't feel like You really shut the door I'm not sure I'm not sure You're dead on I don't know You're dead on Romance movie is the perfect way to put it Yeah Where they He finally opens these diaries And reads She opens hers And it just happens to be at the same time They text each other If it was truly his diaries, I have no problem.

44:52Right. That's amazing to relive your life. Or I know like some people's kids want to read their diaries. Like I have friends that read their parents' diaries. My grandma and my mom have read my great grandma's diaries. That's really cool. But it's not his writing. It's this other person who he's not married to and has kids with. It is, to me, very strange. The swap originally is kind of strange. here's the thing. I'm so nostalgic and like, I like to keep all of those type of things. I was just talking about how I have my homecoming dress from sophomore year. It's like so random. It's not even senior year.

45:33Like why? I don't, anyway. So I would have a hard time throwing it away too. So it's like a paradox. I'm like, I don't even know which one, wait, that's not the right way to use paradox. Anyway. I'm the exact same way. Yeah. I can't get rid of stuff either. my mom's going through her house right now pulling out all this old stuff and we're to the point where it's like take a picture of it and then get rid of it because you just want the a lot of the stuff is tied to memories and being nostalgic it's not actually physically having it it's a combo it depends on what it is in going through all that stuff I found a big box that was from when me and my ex were together it was his love box And it was all the same stuff.

46:19It was all the notes from in high school. It was all the movie tickets, everything you can think of, right? All little things that mean things, but they don't anymore. And it's not, I wasn't even interested in opening up the letters and seeing. I mean, I think you just tossed it. I was literally sitting there. We were all watching like Timberwolves game or something. And I had a recycling bag and a garbage bag in front of me. And I was just like. Oh, look at that. I was just like, but I'm exactly the same with the nostalgic thing. But when it came to items that are the similar to these diaries, I don't even, I'm not even curious to read through them.

47:00Those aren't the memories I'm, I'm like nostalgic. That's what I wanted to bring up because he's like, I want the memories and blah, blah, blah. They're not your memories though. They're not your words. They're someone else's most inner thoughts. Did you read these diaries before when you broke up or are you literally just reading them now 14 years later and when your wife's out of town it's just seeming weird like if this were me and you i don't know if it would really bother me but like maybe it would like these inner thoughts and then i read them and it's like this is the love of my life justin we're gonna get married and i'm just like exactly like ew yeah maybe it would bother me but i think it's fair to be like hey do you think you could reach out to her and maybe switch back if you want to keep these diaries I understand but they're also not yours Why can't we make a little switcheroo?

47:47Romance movie continues Exactly, you might There's that risk Setting them up But the whole tone of the story from the way it was written from the beginning Does feel exactly like how you pinned it It feels like the door is open Because it feels like he's reading these letters Being like, oh, that's so nice That was such a nice thing to say oh we had such a great love for one another that's the issue right the issue is not that they exist the issue is that the way he's going about all this leaving them out and just being purposefully I think leaving them out and then being so proud to say oh these are diaries from when I was with blah blah blah you can read all of them read through them please read through them it's like he wants like leaving them out on the table people in the comments do ask about that like why would you leave them out if you knew your wife was insecure like why would you kind of set that up because i'm not hiding anything that's fine but again like what were you really that bored with me out of town that you had to bring up these diaries that's the thing i would do that like one time i remember i was like looking on like social media and i like pulled up somebody's name that i had messages with and like scrolled through our conversation i it like i accidentally got there but then i got interested that's less weird and i'm like reading all like these messages and i was like starting to feel like those feelings that i felt so long ago that i've forgotten about and it was like whoa it brings you back yeah it brings you back for a second it kind of feels it kind of feels cool like to it does time travel a little bit but were those your writings, your memories.

49:30Right. Again, everyone is on board. Yeah. Until we swap the journals. And that's the top comment. I was with you until you swapped journals. That is weird to me. If I was your wife, I'd be OK with you revisiting your old journals. But keeping and reading the exes. Oof. Next comment. The worst part is he left them out on the table for his wife to find when she got back from her trip. Same. Ask the ex if she wants them back. If not, Toss them. Next comment, this is absolutely the way to go. Maybe he can see if he can get his back. Definitely weird to keep and reminisce over his ex's diaries. Someone goes, I bet she threw his away a long time ago.

50:10Be curious. I'd be curious. Someone goes, so you left them out on purpose to trigger your wife, and now you can blame her for being upset? Sounds like you are not overly satisfied with how your life is now. So strange. I want to know what OP says. Well, upon refresh, when I had the tab and I could see how old it was, it was 27 minutes old. Upon refresh, it is three hours old. OP has deleted their account and removed the post. Damn it, Morgan. Don't do that to me. We can't have an update every time. But I want one. Duh. I really want one on this one because I really wanted to hear if he's confessed that he does have feelings or if that he's like, whoa, what are you guys talking about?

50:57It's not that deep. I just wanted to hear from OB. Hey, I mean, posted on the two hot takes Reddit. I looked at the account before deleted. Didn't seem like a fake account. Maybe they'll be back. Okay, someone - They know where to find us. Someone DM me a fake ending to this so I can have some closure. See, here's the thing. Not getting an update does not bother me. I just envision something in my head, typically the worst case scenario, but - Oh. I fill in the blanks. And then if I get an update, hey, Christmas morning. But I will say we are working on an update episode. I have a new producer.

51:33She's amazing. You'll meet her soon. Maybe familiar face for some of you. But we are going to be working on an update episode and like going back and going through our thousands and thousands of stories that we've read and seeing which ones have had updates. And we'll finally find out what was in the box. Oh my gosh. Won't that be good? I just like, I think it's so funny that you had a love box. Didn't you have that? No. Oh, I had that for my high school boyfriends. I wish I had one. Like that's like. Morgan's got a stock of them. That's. I don't love the love boxes. No. I didn't. Yeah. I didn't keep stuff like that.

52:16I think there is like my prom picture though. That's like up on my dresser in Minnesota still. I have our first movie tickets You do? Yeah That's adorable The Nun Of course it had to be that movie Oh god Brutal But Part of our story, Lauren I know It's true It just sounds How scary is that movie? Not bad You should watch it tonight It's a good one to watch by yourself Six and a half Oh Yeah Nothing You should put it on Seven Is it kind of like a Jump scary? creepy looking nun it's not great it's good though it was a good move because then you get Morgan to cuddle with you so I did that's the point it is it's always a good move that's how I knew he wasn't friend zoned because we're sitting there in this movie and we went to the theater that had like the recliners and there's no like no separation in the middle you could put the armrest up so it's like a chase for the two of you and we're sitting there and it's getting scary and I'm like covering my eyes and all of a sudden he puts his hand on my leg and I'm like oh fuck he doesn't want to just be friends Lauren already knew that though not by that point she hadn't met you yet yeah I don't know what no she knew from you texting that was down the road I didn't know that was the first time I knew you I don't know the timeline of like how long you were seeing him before we all went to yard house it's the first time we all yeah you drove you weren't a good driver well you feel that way about everyone so that's true thank you lauren i'm i'm just a very good driver she asked me if i wanted to drive today and i was like no i don't like driving i don't want to be judged no you're so funny i was like one day we were going somewhere i was like do you want to drive and you're like anyone but you i'm like i just have really bad car anxiety yeah so So I just like, I'm anxious.

54:13Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And I already like get paranoid that people are judging my driving when they're in my seat. So you did really good that day, though. You did end up driving me. Oh, and you did great. Thank you. OK, moving along. We are still choo-choo chugging along. But this next story is brought to you by State Farm. Sometimes it feels like life just changes overnight. One day you're splitting rent with roommates. The next you're signing papers for your first house. And having support from someone who understands that, like a State Farm agent, can help you feel ready for whatever's ahead. So this is coming from r slash Am I Overreacting?

54:51It's titled, Am I Overreacting for being upset that my partner is sad to move out of their parents' home to move in with me and our child? Hi, me and my partner have been doing long-distance relationship for almost three years now, and we have a baby. Finally, we are moving in together in a flat around 10 minutes drive away from his family. I'm moving across the city away from my parents for us to live together and finally have a fresh start just the three of us. I'm excited but also feeling worried for my parents as I take on a lot of household chores for them and look after our pets. So it's bittersweet, I suppose.

55:30Nonetheless, I'm really happy for us to be under the same roof and I've expressed this. My partner said they feel sad to move out from their parents' home and said, quote, deep inside, I don't want to move out, but on the other hand, I have to and I'm going to. I feel offended by this. I get moving out is a big step, but I'm making the bigger sacrifice as my family will be further away. This comment made me feel like me and our baby are a burden and living with us is merely a duty or an obligation rather than something they desire. Please tell me if I'm overreacting. Appreciate all and any advice.

56:09I feel that it's not not normal to be sad that you're moving out of anywhere. Unless you're in a really bad situation. Any place I've ever moved from, even a rental place. I cry. I'm kind of like, goodbye room. Goodbye living room. Goodbye kitchen. You know, you have this moment, especially with your childhood home. Yeah. So it's sad regardless. But, and that's not where the problem was. The problem is, but I don't want to. I mean, actions speak louder than words. So the fact that they are committed to doing so is a big thing regardless. And I would see if this keeps coming up as in you move, there's more comments prior to moving or you move in and it's still like, I miss living over there.

56:56I miss living at home. I miss this. that's when it becomes more of a problem to me. But the emotions of moving, especially if it's a childhood home, I don't think we have that context are, they're strong. And so you, I could see how it might lead to someone saying something like that in the moments like, but I don't want to, but we all know the right answer is we should be living together with our child. Right. I mean, That's obvious. No, they've gone through so many big, big life changes. This is like such a big life step and to feel so unsupported and just like someone feels meh about moving in with you and your child.

57:37And I completely agree. So sad moving out of your home, moving away from your parents. I moved out of my dad's house when I was like basically turning 30. I think I was like just about to turn 30. Yeah. Remember how excited we were? Like we were - We were ready. We were, I know we were ready. We were ready. I know that. But it was still sad. Yes, exactly. So I would see how it evolves. Yeah. It's gotta be a pattern. Otherwise, and if this is a one-off, then yeah, it's not great, but then it was a one-off. Yeah. If there's further comments or further references or things, then it starts to become a bigger problem where you start to consider, is this the right fit?

58:17Well - But you have a child together, so you might as well see if this was just kind of a fluke. I don't know. Well, and I was going to say too, when I got into grad school, I was super excited when I immediately found out. But then from the time I immediately found out until my first day, I cried basically every day. I was like, I don't want to move. I don't want to go to grad school. I was just like so scared. And it's again, a big change. And so I think OP used the word bittersweet. Her partner is using the word sad. I honestly feel like they're the same word. Like it is kind of bittersweet.

58:51It's a big change. And like leaving your family and moving out of your home is it's hard. Right. Well, and the reality is you can always go and support your parents when they need it. You need to be where you need to be. Yeah. And if you're that dissatisfied with where you live, then then it becomes a relationship problem, like we've said. but the reality is like, yes, you shift over here but that doesn't mean you don't still support your family and you don't go spend time with them or especially support them when in need. You still have that ability but we have priorities. And by the sounds of it, they're still gonna be very close to his.

59:32Yes. So the comments on this one, top comment, you already have a baby and he's dragging his feet moving in with you. Girl, what? All caps. Next comment. He's having separation anxiety. He might have some issues around his parents that are not understood here. Yeah, it's rude and you should wait for it. Talk to him about it. Let him know how that made you feel. Ask him what he's feeling and let him know that you're excited to be a family and it's hurtful that he doesn't seem to be. You deserve someone who wants to be a family with you. Find out now if this guy is that guy. You don't want to be living forever with someone who doesn't want to be there.

1:00:07someone goes not overreacting that's a stupidly insensitive thing to say about moving in with your partner and they like paraphrase i don't want to leave my parents ugh again like someone finally kind of responds to that and goes it's a normal feeling they're definitely overreacting your little ugh comment sucks i yes i can see things on both sides it again we need the context of the whole relationship. Because I always go into these things when they don't mention a bunch of relationship issues. Yeah. I assume, oh, relationship's strong and it's good, but there's this thing. Well, and it sounds like they're both coming from living with their parents.

1:00:48So maybe, you know, finances, that is what they were able to do. Right. Yeah, it's like, it is such a big step forward for their relationship, their lives, their baby. So they really just need to get on the same page and communicate and work this out and start supporting each other maybe a little more and better. Yeah. Clearly, things change. And when they do, you can trust State Farm to help you protect the people, places, and plans that matter most. Who doesn't love a little support? Yeah. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This is coming from r slash relationships. It is titled, my longtime best friend keeps messaging me from his honeymoon.

1:01:33I don't know how to end the friendship. Damn. I'm 25 female, longtime best friend, 25 male. Will and I have been friends since pretty much forever. We literally grew up together. Our mothers are best friends, and we were raised by each other's families in this sort of semi-commune type situation. His mom is like a second mom to me, and mine is the same to him. We've both always said that we lucked out to have two sets of parents and this huge extended family because of it. I see him as a brother. Exactly as a brother. I feel the same way about him as I do my bio brothers. I've never had any romantic feelings for him, and it's honestly disgusting when people make jokes about that, to me.

1:02:19I always thought it was the same for him, because that's what he told me, several times over the years. We all went to the same local university and lived at home, and by all, I mean me, my siblings, Will and his siblings, to save some money, and because honestly, it's a great school. So because we stayed so close, we all met everyone's significant others and really got to know them. I clicked with Will's college girlfriend, Sarah, who he proposed to last year and married last week. I couldn't be happier for them and to have Sarah as a sister and our weird little family, which is what makes the next part even worse because I'm not sure how to handle this.

1:03:01Will messaged me on their wedding night and told me that he had always loved me and had hoped that I'd feel the same way too and that he only got married to Sarah as a way to make me realize my feelings for him and fight for him. Oh my God. He had tried to provoke a reaction and he didn't love her. He didn't want to be with her. And now he just wanted to tell me because he would leave her for me if I wanted. I didn't know what to say so I just signed out of everything for the night and cried because everything about that just made me feel sick and it was too much just too much to process it was like my brother was admitting incestuous feelings for me he messaged me throughout his honeymoon almost all of them begging me to run away with him and a few of them were blaming me for leading him on oh my god which still makes zero sense to me i've never flirted with him.

1:04:05I act the same way around him as I do any of my siblings. Literally nothing is different. He said that he'd always see me in his head as the other woman. And because of me, he had never fully been able to love Sarah, who he admits on paper is his ideal spouse. Okay. Such an asshole. I don't know what to do because both of us stand to lose a lot, no matter how all of this goes down. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my family because of this and not just his side. Everyone is close. And if I'm identified as the problem, I'm afraid that I'm going to be pushed out. But maybe that's what needs to happen.

1:04:49I really don't know. Reddit, how the fuck do I deal with this hugely fucked up situation? I need some outside advice and I don't have anyone in my life who doesn't know any of the people involved in this. If they think that you're the problem and if they push you out oh my god those are not people that you want in your life that would be nuts i would genuinely be like am i in a dream did everyone lose their minds literally is this the quiet place and some like alien invaded like what's going on right that would be insane you're not the problem no also i know it feels like a lot but like hey i I love you like a brother.

1:05:31I don't share those feelings. I think we should go no contact for a while. I wish you the best. Yeah. I mean, that's what you have to do. He's the problem. Literally, he's the problem. And you have to distance from your second family in a way. I don't even know because I think if you went to your second mom and was like, Will just confessed his feelings to me. Like, I feel like, you know, like I feel like she'd be like, what? Well, the bigger thing. You guys shared a bathtub. What? The bigger issue in all of this is that what he's doing to poor Sarah, to use her as a pawn in his game and his sick little game for someone who has said she just doesn't have feelings for him.

1:06:13It's like, how are you going to do that to this poor girl? That's so mean. Well, because it was taken that far, that's why I don't think even with a lifetime of no contact, I don't think the feelings are going to change. No, it seems like an obsession, like a really unhealthy obsession. That's why I'm saying I think the no contact has to go beyond him. Like terrible. It's one of these things we always talk about where you end up in a situation. You did nothing to cause it, but you need to deal with all this bullshit and it drastically affects your life. but you're going to for your own sanity you're gonna have to figure out that balance of where the no contact has to go it's terrible i would talk to my mom like i think if you're close with your mom like for me i would go to my mom and be like what what do i do like what's wrong with him i've never led him on even if i've never done anything even if she did flirt with him or whatever like that doesn't excuse anything that he's doing no and i i do think like to your point what he's doing to sarah is horrible you got engaged yeah maybe you getting engaged would have flipped a switch for me that didn't work so you went all the way through with your wedding did you expect me to run down the aisle and object right and then you text me on your wedding night yeah you couldn't even like get through the wedding night what did you do all this for?

1:07:43If that was truly your end game, do you think me being the other woman or you leaving this nice girl for me is going to sell me on you? No, you're an asshole. You're not a good, nice person. Well, like confessing your feelings isn't wrong. It's the timing in which you did it. It's the way in which you, how long you waited to do it. Because if this was written from his perspective and we were much earlier and he said, hey, I've had these feelings for this person. I'm in a relationship. I think I'm in too deep. She's kind of wanting to take next steps. Should I confess my feelings to who I consider my one true love?

1:08:28We would all say, yes, you should do it. Yeah. But that's then. it almost gets to the point where once you've gotten engaged gotten married it almost flips to where it's like you shouldn't confess your feelings because look what you're about to do to so many people's lives especially the one you're with and this one who's been a sister for your whole life like it's I don't know there's really no right path there's no good way about it I mean, I mean, the messed up thing is that he is trying to flip it on her and be like, what? Like you've been leading me on. Yeah. It's your fault. I have these lustrous feelings.

1:09:09Just lashing out. For him to be like, I only did this for you, like to try to make you jealous. It's like, it's just so, so shitty. I don't imagine being the other person. Yeah. Like, holy hell. Exactly. Yeah. So I just, it's so shitty. and like the way that he handled it again like when people are truly in love and I get wanting to express that and like see if there's a shot the way that it was handled was wild wild it is it's really bad top comment is I think you need to send him one single message that tells him you're sorry but your feelings are so polar opposite to his and that you do not and never have and never will have romantic feelings for him because you don't have the capacity to see him as anything but a brother.

1:09:57Tell him you hope that this is a strange manifestation of cold feet and encourage him to work on his relationship. After that, I'd probably go quiet with him, at least for a while. Keep all communications courteous, but not close, and do not pursue a conversation in writing or in person anytime soon. Hopefully, when you see him again, it will be as it always has been. It is very troubling, though, that he'd go so far with this charade that he says now, after the vows are made, that he only pursued a relationship with Sarah to get your attention. I mean, what the fuck? That's psychotic. And that he is now trying to paint you as a villain, suggesting you've messed with him by insinuating romantic interest, just sort of puts the nail in the coffin.

1:10:42Given these things, I think you should seriously consider alerting your own family and possibly at least his mother to the situation. It isn't just that someone you always considered a brother has confessed romantic feelings. He is becoming manipulative of you and has been terribly irresponsible and harmful in his handling of the Sarah situation. Yeah. And I do 100 % all of that. Mic drop. And that's kind of what we were saying. It's like he got engaged, wedding planned, got married. What was he expecting? and the you've led me on that's that's bad that is extremely scary behavior he was hoping for the rom-com situation the object like you brought up the objection at the wedding i think there would have been signs though yeah my guy no i fully agree i mean signs in college signs long even before engagement but especially between engagement and marriage i mean that like you said that would the time.

1:11:44That's when like, I mean, we hear these stories all the time. Like that's typically when people are like, oh my God, I realized I was in love with my best friend. Yeah. And I think engagement or a big change. And I think that like, if he would have approached it that way and been like, I, I am so sorry, but I'm sitting here about to, and I can't stop thinking about you and I can't stop thinking like, like, what am I doing? And I just like care about you so much. and I don't know. And then she could be like, no. And then that's what he needs to realize. Okay, then I'm probably not with the right person.

1:12:17And I probably should call off the wedding, even if this person doesn't want to be with me because I clearly don't like this person enough. Who I'm going to marry should be somebody that's not making me. I think he's honestly got to screw loose. It sounds like it from those texts. Yeah. So OP does have an edit. I'm sorry I didn't include this to begin with, but I'm not thinking 100 % clearly right now, and I still just feel terrible about everything. More info. Our families live in the same house, and our parents share parenting duties for all children. When I called out for daddy in the middle of the night as a little girl, both dads came running, for example.

1:12:57Our families are so intertwined and always have been. Honestly. I was thinking polycule. Yeah. I was giving polycule to me. 100%. Our families are so intertwined and always have been, and I feel like Will just handed me this huge bomb. I think there's going to be a massive fallout from this, and that breaks my heart. We're all very close and tightly knit. I keep cycling between sad, angry, and betrayed. I'm upset because I feel like he's tasking me with breaking Sarah's heart, and I hate him for that right now. I love Sarah, possibly more than he does at this point. I wonder if that's actually the real reason.

1:13:35I wonder if maybe this is fake. I'm just like, God, I'm like praying. Like, please don't be actually like trying to go for her. Please just be such a coward. You don't want to say you married the wrong person. And you're trying to, I don't know. I'm like, what other plausible excuse could there be for this? Because knowing that they grew up in the same house, knowing that it's daddy and it's literally both dads, like they're this really blended, maybe a polycule family, that would feel incestuous I I'm like I didn't really grasp the incestuous it feels like my brother right but no that is your brother right you were raised together under the same roof right that is your brother you know I I just I it's so interesting because I have like mixed feelings on if that's weird or not because I do I do think that it's her brother she was raised to feel like that's her brother that's how she feels like but I also think like you hear stories sometimes where people are like raised under the same household but not related and then they like end up like loving each other in later years and I'm like it depends yeah it depends on how you grew up we've talked about this so much of like can step-siblings get married and it's like well when did you become step-siblings did you grow up together there's a lot of nuance to that but this they're very clearly blended family brother did you ever watch the umbrella academy no okay so it's something like that because they're all like superheroes and they're raised by the same dad but like it's giving x-men kind of yeah and it's like a really like cold the dad's really cold so the siblings like really bond with each other but they also don't have that like same type of like family dynamic and then one of them like is in love with one of the other ones and it was like they like grew up together and they all refer to each other as like their siblings yeah and so it like i just felt weird about it that is but then i'm like but is it weird they don't look anything alike they're not related but if you looked at each other as siblings right then that i have a hard time with it's a little bit odd but i you know if your parents got married when you were both 18 and then you didn't really grow up together and you both went off to college and are like, wait, I like you.

1:15:54Okay. It's almost like he never did see her as a sibling based on, I think, that's what I'm saying. Like, you know, if he was a little boy and like had a crush on her when he was a little boy, like, like knew that it wasn't his actual sister. And so from a young age, he'd be like so excited to see like his crush. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I guess it just, yeah, I don't know. They're both interesting. Still like, It still doesn't remove taking it so far and being just terrible. Oh, yeah. No, that part stays. Yeah, but it just, yeah, wow. This episode is brought to you by Billy. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter.

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1:18:28Games rated E for everyone. Well, let's see what we learn in the update. Oh God, yes. Oh God, yes. Holy crap, has it been a stressful month. The original plan was to wait two weeks from the time I posted to deal with it with Sarah and Will, but I ended up spilling the beans to my mom around three days after the post went up. She noticed that I wasn't my usual self and pried it out of me like moms tend to be able to do. She was flabbergasted and honestly didn't believe me until I showed her the messages on my phone. She called my dad and Will's parents in to an emergency family meeting, and we all talked about it.

1:19:15I broke down crying, and I told them everything that I had told you guys, and to my surprise, rallied around me in support. We all ended up crying and had a really long talk about our combined family and what this could mean for all of us. It was agreed that something somewhere went wrong. Because while the sibling flag was raised in my mind, when it comes to Will, it wasn't with him. I didn't get into this in my original post, but Will and I were the youngest. We were born just a matter of days apart, and he and I are closer than we are to any of our siblings because we always did everything together.

1:19:56He's my best friend, but more importantly in my mind and my heart he's my brother i expressed all of that to them and they agreed that my feelings were what they were going for when they opted for a shared family and we all felt like this was incest that night we started researching local therapists who deal with situations like this and the next day we chose one for me to go to because honestly it was traumatic and i had a lot of feelings that i just didn't know how to cope with yeah i'm still in therapy and it's going pretty well, I'm dealing with a lot of shit and starting to feel better. We decided to keep this between the parents and I until Will and Sarah got back from their honeymoon.

1:20:37The night they got back, we had a huge family dinner with her family there too. Oh shit. None of us, parents and I, were excited about it, but we couldn't cancel because it had been set in stone as the only time it would work for everyone for a longish period of time. Still cancel. I would cancel. I spent that night trying to keep my distance from Will because honestly, I couldn't handle being around him. He thought this was odd and ended up cornering me outside in the garden. He asked me what was up. Why was I acting so weirdly? Okay, what a weirdo. Where you been, dog? I told him that he knows why, and I tried to walk away.

1:21:21He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back towards him, but I resisted. I ended up breaking down and telling him that I would never and could never feel the same way about him that he felt about me. I saw a look of genuine confusion. It was her? And my heart and my stomach sunk. You guys? Sarah wrote the text? I had no idea this was going to happen! I'm not kidding. Whenever you started saying this I was like what if it was her? I... It didn't cross my mind. Or what if he's just plain that it was her so that he can pretend this never happened because he's embarrassed? Okay, tell us everything.

1:22:01I need to know. OP goes on to say, he had no idea what I was talking about. Those of you who guessed that it was Sarah all along were actually correct. His phone went missing during their trip and he hadn't cared because he was excited to be on his destination honeymoon. Oh, shit. I told him everything. he threw up in the koi pond and we hugged for what felt like forever i broke down crying again because my knee-jerk reaction had been to cut him out of my life and through sobs i was able to get that out he comforted me and told me that he understood because almost anyone whose friend and brother decided to hit on them would probably feel similarly he said that he would never hold my hurt reaction against me, we've been friends and family for a long time.

1:22:52We just sat there for a while because neither of us knew what to do because, come on, this situation is fucked. Dude. Eventually, our moms came out and flipped out when they saw us together and, like, amazing moms sprung to my defense. We got them to calm down and explain everything, that it had been Sarah, and Will's mom lost her cool. She went into the house and ended up apparently tearing Sarah a new one. I don't know all of what was said because I remained outside with Will trying to calm down from everything. Fast forwarding a bit, Will decided to divorce Sarah. It came out that she had always been jealous when it came to me and absolutely hated me.

1:23:41Wow. Her goal had been to either get me to admit feelings to Will so that he'd cut me out or to get me to cut him out. It also came out that she had never been faithful to Will and had regularly cheated on him throughout their relationship. So honestly, he dodged a bullet, albeit a bit too late. Will has moved back in and we are both looking at finding a place together as roommates. And he's gotten into therapy as well to deal with everything on his end. So in the end, my world didn't collapse and my bond with my best friend and quasi-brother only deepened. But he ended up heartbroken. I'm so angry at Sarah for putting us all through that when really she should have and could have expressed her feelings to me and we could have probably addressed things.

1:24:33But then again, she was still a cheater. Just ugh. Yeah. I don't even know what to think. So I guess it's a happy update? Question mark. Yeah. 100%. Definitely. But like also really messed up. Like what the fuck? Sarah was defending you. Yeah, I was thinking that. So Sarah was hoping that she would like go no contact by the time they got back basically. Yeah. And that they. Or I think like if OP would have been like, yeah, Will, I have feelings for you. Oh, no, no. I get that. And then she'd delete the other messages and be like, what? That's inappropriate. You need to cut her out. No, I get that.

1:25:11But I'm saying on the way it went, then you're going to, I mean, imagine, I know she's the villain in the story. Imagine coming into that dinner though. Yeah, I know. Right. Wouldn't you be like, they can't interact. They can't interact. They can't enter. Like you've already set the groundwork. Right. I'm just thinking as a criminal right now, basically. Well, you don't think they're going to talk. Exactly. Wouldn't you be like trying to keep them set? Like, I don't know. That moment though That he shows that confused look Oh you guys It did I had no idea this was coming That was crazy I had no idea this was coming This is coming from our friend Direct Caterpillar Yeah I read the title Of course I trusted him Yeah Uh huh I literally have been emailing him today I'm so excited I love that He's gonna come on Wow I This was a great one This was a great twist This rocked me Lots of feelings That's why you guys like updates.

1:26:08We all love an update. But, you know, we got to have a good variety. Morgan here. I'll just make it up myself. No, I need to know. No, I do like it. But unfortunately, like, not every story gets an update. This story is coming from February 25th, 2016. Oh, what? It is very, very old. I would love to know what they're up to now. Yeah. We don't have an update. the last comment we have is from 10 years ago in the process of getting divorced, but okay, in reference to how is Will doing? And I think people were asking, like, why did he throw up? And OP was like, because people have visceral reactions to things that disgust them.

1:26:52His world was also just turned upside down. Like the person that he thought that he was like in love with and going to spend the rest of his life with, now everything has changed in that moment so outside of just being like grossed out by the fact like the idea of oh my god his his sister thinking that he was in love with her then there's also just the world being too much to handle yeah no i'd crash out yeah i'd crash out can you imagine though those two weeks for op thinking like oh my god my brother's in love with me no i know that's like and then the whole family together the night before?

1:27:28Dude, I... The family meeting? I would be not there. I would not have been able to sit through that dinner. I would have found any excuse for me to be gone. So... Totally. Kudos to OP. Which is what she would have wanted. That was the whole strategy. Literally. And then they never would have talked. Because the family wasn't going to confront him. Yeah. They weren't going to? Not there in front of the dinner and her family. But then it would have come out, right? It would have come out eventually. Yeah, so it's just... I don't understand her endgame. Like, I'm very, like, I get you, I get what you were trying to do, but didn't you think the other five to ten steps ahead of how this was potentially going to play out?

1:28:06I think that she was convinced she was going to get a confession. Yes. And which is why she kept hounding her. That's right. Because she wanted to get a confession. And since she kept digging herself deeper because she was like, shit, I need to get a confession. Otherwise, yeah, this might happen. And now my only hope is that she just disappears and doesn't say anything because she feels how OP originally said she was feeling. Like, do I need to leave my family? Right. And she's too scared to tell the rest of the family because she doesn't want to break up the whole dynamic. So that probably was her last hope.

1:28:38But she probably knew that she was kind of screwed. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe. It's super simple to use and with no selling fees. So you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. This episode is brought to you by Cash App. I myself have fallen for a scam, thought I was getting a really good deal on tickets and bam, I sent the money and I didn't get my tickets.

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1:30:27It can unlock better rates, more options, and real savings. So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on Credit Karma for less craziness and more credit. Damn. Wow. This one's like up there, guys. This is like top 10. This next one might rock you guys a little more. Okay. Our next story comes from r slash relationship advice. It is titled, my fiance wants me to get circumcised before our wedding. Hmm. So you can show it off. What? Well, it's like, what's the point?

1:31:09I don't understand like you're not gonna it's not like at weddings you go around like alright everyone drop them let's see at this wedding like most people lose weight for their wedding to look good for their photos or they do XYZ but this one is like she wanted him to lose a little bit of weight

1:31:28oh you too okay I feel like Justin didn't get that oh I understood fully I was just I was gonna let it sit out there okay We met in the summer of 2018 and got engaged last year. Although our relationship is pretty solid, she can be very hot-headed. For example, she gets upset when things don't go her way and takes it as a personal insult. It's definitely a princess syndrome that can be difficult to deal with, but it's never caused serious issues. A couple of months ago, she told me that I will get circumcised before our wedding later this year. I said no, and she straight up told me that, quote, it's not a choice.

1:32:13Actually, it is. So there's that. Friendly reminder. We argued for a bit, and she said that I wouldn't be attracted to her if she had an outie vagina with extra skin hanging. Her words, not mine. Damn. Wow. I told her that it's not really the same thing at all and that I would be attracted to her regardless. However, she got very irritated and ignored me for the rest of the evening. She has not stopped talking about this since that day. Every day she sends me articles talking about the benefits of circumcision, that it's totally healthy and safe. She's a freak. Leave her immediately. I hate her so much.

1:32:56And why I should do it. I hate her. She says that civilized men get circumcised and that we're not like those Europeans. The thing is, she's mixed race, half French, and grew up in France. So I don't understand her thought process here. Her ex was French, but she repeatedly said that she dislikes French people and wants me to be better than that, according to her. That includes getting a circumcision. Yesterday, she brought it up again, and I said that she has no right to tell me what to do with my body. She yelled that she spends a lot of time and effort on her appearance and isn't asking for much in return.

1:33:41While it's true she spends a lot of money on beauty, hair, facial treatments, around$800 a month, I don't think you can compare that to a circumcision. No. She got very upset, calling me selfish and heartless, and basically told me to fuck off. Normally when we argue, she doesn't get that heated, but I could hardly tolerate her attitude yesterday. Later that evening, we had sex. Yes, I'm stupid. Wow. Gross. And in the middle of it, she brought up that topic again. It felt very manipulative, and when I told her that this is not the right time, she accused me of not loving her and actually started crying, Since she rarely cries, this didn't seem genuine.

1:34:28She got up and told me that we will get this done either way and that I shouldn't let such a small issue ruin what we have. Hmm, look at the mirror, bitch. To be honest, that sounded ominous, and I don't even know what to think of it. Is this something that we can work out at all? Throughout our entire relationship, she never complained about my uncircumcised penis, and now it's such a big deal to her, it's giving me anxiety about our future and I don't even know what to do. We've had so many discussions about it and it always ends the same way. There's no future here. Leave immediately. One easy question.

1:35:07Is this someone you want to raise kids with? And I get some people are child-free, but I think that's a good qualifying question to a long-term partner. Is this someone I want to raise children with? Do I trust this person to raise children with? Would you? I'm just terrified With the fixation on something like this And it's like you're gonna do No I'm genuinely terrified of her in general She's sick That line Yeah that she's body shaming other women too Like what an actual bitch I hate her Like what? Every vagina looks different Also if the roles were reversed And your partner was saying to you You need to get labiaplasty And cut your vagina lips off So you can look like an 18 year old The way I want you to look, just like the entire topic of trying to tell someone to change that part of them is like, no, that you don't do that.

1:36:03Let everyone, come on, like don't do that. Especially because it's like, it's sort of like get a boob job or I won't marry you. It's, you're holding it over. Honestly, I feel like. And then the we will get this done. They're both really wrong, but I almost feel like a circumcision is worse than a bone job. I mean, it's like any surgery. It's volatile to like demand that on someone. Yes. All of it's bad. All of it's bad. But it's a we. We. No, and that's what really messed me up. Her saying we will get this done either way. What does that mean? Either way of what? Are you going to like chloroform me and make me pass out and drag me to a clinic?

1:36:45Like what? Yeah I think it's like really like for an adult It's like Not a pretty healing process This attitude Over anything would be concerning But over this is just like I I don't know she makes me so mad I don't even have words anymore You can have your preference But don't project it on me Go find someone that has what you want Yeah exactly It's not wrong to want what you want But you can't go force someone to be exactly what you want Go find someone that is. Also, what if like they're just genuinely not sexually compatible and she thinks this is going to fix that? Say he were to do it and then your sex still doesn't get better.

1:37:30Are you kidding me? Just find someone else. You're clearly test driving the car before you're driving it off the lot. Make a choice like that for yourself. And how long until it starts to be an insecurity for him after you have someone who's like your life partner telling you constantly that it's a defect on you? True. She's literally saying she's not attracted to you because of it. No, that's... How did they get to the point that they're getting married? And that's what the comments start getting into. Top comment. This relationship sounds hellish. I can't imagine wanting to stay with someone who makes such demands and who cries during sex in an attempt to influence me.

1:38:08Manipulate. What are you doing? OP responds, I'll be honest, I don't know. Yeah, get the fuck out. Someone else says, wow, this girl sounds absolutely awful. It's bad enough to try and pressure your partner to change their appearance in small ways, but she's trying to force you to get an unnecessary procedure on your dick and harping on it. Her tears were 100 % manipulation. You need to tell her that you are absolutely not altering your body for her ridiculous preference. And if it bothers her that much, you will leave. And you should. This is a woman that doesn't respect your bodily autonomy and therefore doesn't respect you as a person.

1:38:48I honestly don't think this relationship will last. and if you stay with her or god forbid go through with this you're setting yourself and potential future children up for a lifetime of emotional abuse and being controlled yep i have to add to that i find it pretty strange she's been presumably fucking you for quite some time now and is just insisting you get circumcised now that you're going to be married so weird op responds that's what I don't understand. When we first had sex she didn't even comment on it. This came out of nowhere and I don't understand why she didn't bring it up earlier.

1:39:28She needed to get him locked in before she started editing him. It's like she had an experience with someone else she cheated and then she decided she liked it more. I literally was like Why did I even think of that? Because it's such a fixation out of nowhere and it's like if I'm going to be married to you, you got to be exactly what I want to have. I was wondering if she cheated. Or is cheating. And like, that didn't even cross my mind for some reason. But that would be a good, that'd be a good point. Yeah. So someone responds to that though. Like, why shouldn't bring it up earlier? OP's comment.

1:40:04And someone goes, did you ask her why she suddenly feels this way? I mean, I don't think the answers will change what I think about her or that this won't last. But I'm genuinely curious. OP responds, I asked her, but she won't give me a reason. She just says that it's her preference and that she discussed it with her friend. Oh, great. Her friend that she sleeps with.

1:40:31What? That's all we got. That's all we got? That's the end? You're lying to me. I know you're lying, Faze. Yes, we do get an update. I don't know where to start, but I'd like to say thank you to everyone on here first. I have received countless private messages, all pretty much saying the same thing, yet I still wanted to work things out and marry her. Then, a few days after my post, we had a huge fight. She threatened me. I won't give too many details, but it was more than enough to give me a wake-up call, and that's when I finally realized that this relationship isn't healthy or normal. I had those thoughts before, but her action that day confirmed it.

1:41:16Right now, I'm in the process of completely removing her from my life. That incident had a significant impact on my mental health. And at this point, I just need a long break. I've spoken to her parents in private, and they're almost begging me to rethink the whole situation. I won't. I still love her, but couldn't do this anymore. It's a shock to the system, I went from planning my future with her to actively cutting off everything that connects us. I read through all the comments again after the incident and they put things into perspective. Thank you again for all of the advice and private messages.

1:41:53Thank God. God bless. I just, this just, the story really, really pissed me off because it's just like such a like delicate thing for people to, and to, for that to be the hill that you die on like shaming somebody about that part of them is just find a different partner if you don't like that like don't try to change that it's just like uh it's just it's rough and intimate body part I know and I'm even like worried about the listeners here like getting insecurities based off of this girl's opinion like I'm like it's so mean it's so mean it's weird it's weird and this is like i i feel like not a lot of countries do circumcise their kids like it is a decision that nothing wrong with it no it's literally more normal it's so fucking no it's the most normal it's like literally it literally is how you're designed yeah it's the most normal yeah no but i do i just think like if anyone's gonna pressure you or make you feel bad about your body you're not with the right person like you're just not like your bodies aren't meant to be they're not meant to be they're just not right and so hearing this and it's just like oh god it's just it's it's I have no words I feel like I'm you in the episode that came out this week where you just sat there and you're like and people literally the comments have been so funny on it people are like I literally had to go and make sure my phone didn't disconnect from my car I know or that the video pause I know sometimes so like I assume that you'll edit that out and just make it like it was so good though it was so good I got the edit back from Jenna because Jenna will edit it first and then I do like another pass and like Jenna check it out and you put it back in no she didn't okay she thought it was so funny she was laughing I was dying again when I watched it yeah because your face just says so much and that's how I feel right now I'm like I don't have words It's just such depraved, disrespectful, horrific behavior from someone.

1:43:59And you don't deserve that. Like love is respect. And that is not respect. No. That's what I'm hoping OP will gain from this is not to have to go all the way. I mean, the first sentence of that update was scary. I was still planning on going forward and getting married despite everything we had heard in the original post. I know. And what I'm hoping for OP is that, okay, you can see from this that based on all the comments and just the experience, everyone already knew where we were headed. But for you, it took, and I get it's harder when you're in it, but it took even another step further of something even that much worse happening for then you to realize and be like, oh shit, okay, this isn't good for me.

1:44:46so I'm hoping for OP that this has made your radar stronger to this type of thing so you can not have to go so far down and experience such bad shit to realize someone isn't good for you and you know the the good thing is that once you go through something like this you will have that naturally you'll know the second someone feels a little bit like that and all your flags will go up and be like, nope, not going down that rabbit hole. But you'll also know when someone is the opposite of that. And you'll be able to quickly know, oh, wow, this is so much better than what I was dealing with before.

1:45:27And then it's the classic, I can't believe I stayed in that so long. But again, easier said looking back 2020 and much easier said from an outsider looking in. but you know you just hope someone it allows for someone to grow and just be able to have better experiences because you get rid of the bad ones quicker yeah I mean his radar is going to be more in tune hopefully she will now get maybe some help that she needs I hope so and he can just move on and find his person but wow wild I also love Morgan that you go I have no words and then you like went and like dropped three big words and then like ended with like a like poetry I was like you found the words bitch you found the words choo choo yeah yeah no and I just I just want to plug this quiz again because I've shared it on two outtakes in the past I've shared it on father knows I've shared it on clues because we do have you know so many of you out there listening where sometimes it's one of these stories that makes you realize like oh like wow maybe maybe I'm not in the right relationship not in the right or maybe oh god that feels like that's hitting a little too close to home and yeah there's a website it's called loveisrespect.org they have a quiz on there that basically you just answer very general questions about your relationship and it gets to the end and it tells you like, hey, maybe you're not in a healthy relationship.

1:47:03The website also has safety features built into it. So if you hit escape twice, it just goes to Google. And if you hit back, it doesn't go anywhere. Like it's, that's cool. It's meant for people that need it. Yeah. And so I've shared this now a couple of times on, you know, all the shows. And I actually have gotten multiple messages now from listeners that have used that quiz as a way to have a conversation with their friend because what they've said in the past hasn't worked. It's made their friend not share or it's made their friend not feel like the relationship is safe to share or that their friend isn't going to judge them.

1:47:39And so multiple listeners have reached out and said, I sent it to my friend. She's now getting out. And so just like, it's so, it's so amazing, like what this show can do in terms of like helping people realize you do deserve love and a healthy relationship and respect so i'll post that quiz again in the description and i took it like i literally took it just to like see i'm like i think i'm good but let me see you need to zoom in on justin's face right there i just think everyone should take it like i do think it's a good barometer of like let me just be sure you can take it too you take it i've got to make sure guys i mean shit you never know you never know though you do like i think that's like it's so easy to slip in like toxic patterns and it's like it's not that bad or that's one time because it's it gets it um progressive you start to think it's normal it's it's each like little thing and then and you're like it's not that bad but if if they were to do this on the first date you would be like oh yeah But it's like it's there's this goalpost that gets pushed.

1:48:53And you're now married and it's not that easy to unwind your lives. And we've got kids and I really don't want to separate and give up 50 percent of time with my kids. And so there's so much context and nuance. And, you know, life is messy and big and, you know, not everything's black and white. It is oftentimes really gray. When you need to address things as they are in recent times, we're not staying together married because we've been married for 25 years. Can't evaluate our potential. We're not going to continue our friendship just because we've been friends for 10 years. We need to look at how the relationship is now.

1:49:37We don't make decisions based on the past. Make decisions based on now. Yeah. That's all I got. you know a lot of updates this one you know that's why i do also like not having so many updates on an episode because then we get through a lot of stories but this was really good crazy chug chug train mess hot mess i um i did want to say though like when we did the live shows and we would do meet and greets that was the thing that we had a lot is that people came up to us and they shared their stories that they were in the worst relationship of their life they listened to the show they decided they got the courage to to leave and then they found the love of their life literally there was one woman forgetting what city it was please comment if you're comfortable of course but she was like I left I got out because of the show and now I'm sitting front row with my new boyfriend and like and I've never been happier and he treats me so well and I didn't know that this was even possible like it is it's so beautiful to get those stories I think that is one of the best things about this show is people realizing that they deserve better.

1:50:51Yeah. I'm oftentimes really awestruck in how the show reaches people. Don't make me cry. It's just, it's such a gift and I'm so thankful for everyone listening. no I honestly the the last episode that we had I asked for dental advice and the amount of people that have reached out to me like even like outside of the reddit people have come and found my instagram and reached out to me and it's like it makes me feel so close to you guys and it makes it feel so real and it makes me so grateful this is our village yeah and it's just like the fact that like there's this support and people who are willing to reach out and give advice or share their stories about their dental issues.

1:51:39Yeah, and be vulnerable. Yeah, it's just so, it means so much to me. So I just really, I'm really, really grateful for you guys. I know. I love our little hottie community, our hotties out there. Speaking of live shows, we do have one coming up now. Oh my God, when I ever posted it, everyone thought that we were going on tour. They were like so upset. I know. We're going to get there. Next year is tour year again. We're going to get back out there. I see you. I see where you want us to come. But, you know, if you haven't told us yet, please drop it in the comments. I see Canada. I know I was going to say it like Canada wants us there.

1:52:14Ohio. A lot of Florida. Can we go to Canada? I want to go to Canada. Okay. I don't know if there was like a weird like tax thing. There is. Might be a pro bono show. But can you say pro bono for this scenario? I don't know. Well, because like, I liked it though. I liked it, but I'm like, does it actually fit? It does, yeah. We would just donate it to a Canadian charity instead. Musicians tour all over the world. You just have an accountant. We're baby. We're baby. We're baby. You know, we're not selling out stadiums yet. We're baby. We're still just a little tight-knit family over here, guys. But I still feel like babies do tours around the world, don't they?

1:53:04Yes, there's lots of baby tours. Boss baby on tour. God, you guys are hilarious. There is a baby in my apartment complex that I swear to God is boss baby. He is up to something. You should introduce him to Michaela. It's her favorite movie. Oh, my God. And then literally one of the listeners was like, thank you, Michaela. He's always smiling deviously. Did he wear sunglasses? That would be. That would be. That'd be crazy. Someone, one of the listeners, though, I think like her dad wrote Boss Baby. That's so dumb. Or something. That's so dumb. They reached out to Makayla or they commented and Makayla saw it because I remember her talking to me about it.

1:53:39But oh, I love that. Yeah, we're going, we're doing a live show in Irvine, November 15th for UFest. So I'll put the link for that in the description too, in case you guys want to come and see us. we might also have a very special guest along with us. Am I special too? You're the most special. The most. I love you guys. I love you guys. But until next time. Until next time. Until next time. Choo-choo. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga. Bye. Bye. One chug for the road? One chug? Just one chug? Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga. That was so good! Good! Woo!

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