280: Absurd Chaos Ft. MacDoesIt

32:05Someone responds, what's the problem with being child-free? OP responds, it's unnatural? Question mark, question mark. Oh, all right. Okay, okay. Maybe I don't want to go to the wedding, you know I think I'm out I think I'm like, okay Also, like, is she wearing dog collars Or is it just a choker necklace? Because those are back Yeah, it might be a choker necklace She might be just a hot topic girl, you know Apparently there's some issues about A potential dress that the sister was going to wear And our writer has a problem Saying, like, she would dress inappropriate Like, this is not okay for her to wear this dress.

32:50That's when you have a dress code for your wedding. Yeah. Apparently, this neckline shows too much cleavage. A slit isn't appropriate. I'm sure she'll wear some of her usual jewelry. These are all comments coming from OP. We do get a link for the dress. Are you ready? Yeah, show me. It's beautiful. Oh, I was expecting like a, what was it? Like a J-Lo deep V or something. thing when you were a plunge neckline simple it's just giving like james bond you know situation yeah it's giving like normal hot girl dress and i'm like you can't wear a dog collar with that so like yeah no yeah maybe some drop earrings so for those listening it is like a beautiful like higher neckline it actually like the neckline kind of sits right on top of the boob ruched dress, a slit that's, you know, maybe a little upper thigh, but depending on how tall you are, like on me, that would be above my knee because I'm a short gal.

33:54And it's got like a halter top. So like it's staying up. It's pretty nice. She can rock those, you know, the moves after getting a little beverage or two and it's not coming down. It's a very cute dress and it It has 4.4 star reviews after 155 purchases. Oh, okay. So I'm going to be honest. I do want to order it. Add to cart? I'm obsessed. Yeah. So I think OP, what I'm learning. That healthy amount of conservative might be a little bit too healthy. Yeah, I have a problem when people start encrouching and judging on others. And it's like, if she wants to be child free. Cool. Like, maybe she'll have more time to be an amazing aunt to your kids then.

34:41Like, I just think it's weird when you start to be like, it's unnatural. That's not the case. Because some people, literally, even if they are with a partner that they could have kids with, air quotes, you might struggle with infertility. Like, nothing is guaranteed. So, like, unnatural. Yeah, unnatural is a crazy thing to say. That's absurd. I feel like that's when you lose a lot of people on your side when you say it's unnatural. It's like, well, last time I checked, you're not God. You don't even know. Like I have heard of stories that people find out they're actually like they have, they don't have ovaries when they start trying to find, like start trying to have kids.

35:19Like you don't, you don't know unless you've gotten a scan. Like you don't know how many eggs you have. You don't know if he's got a sperm count. Or if he has eggs himself. He could have some eggs. He could have a fallopian tube. We don't know. Some people have both. You know, we are magical. Our bodies are magical. So someone does respond and goes, oh, ew, to her unnatural comment. And that's how I feel. Like, ew, just bug off and let people live. And someone does bring up to her, so you'll be unnatural if you have fertility issues and are unable to ever have kids of your own. And OP responds, the lack of desire is unnatural, not the inability.

36:08So again, just you're moving the goalposts and freak behavior. I'm just like, girl, grow up. In this economy, I feel like a lot of people don't have desires to have kids right now, you know? I can't. I just saw something where on average, kids cost a million dollars. Like from zero to 18. Isn't like what, like 300 ,000 a year or something or like 100 ,000 plus? I could so see it. Or something with a child, yeah. I mean, you talk about clothes, food, sports, technology. Especially when like babies, like diapers and formula. If you're like not, yeah. Yeah, I've seen a lot of people. I'm on a really weird side of TikTok right now.

36:46I'm so sorry, everyone. Like, I'm just like, my algorithm is messed up. And maybe this is not messed up. I don't know if I'd be able to handle it. But I've seen a big movement for reusable diapers. and it's so green and I love that for people. I've also seen videos about reusable pads too and I'm like, oh. Well, there's a period underwear now. Yeah. There's a period underwear? Period underwear. Okay. Yeah. So it's like a giant adult diaper or? Yeah. Okay. You just wash them. I'm kind of, I'm kind of for it because I'd rather. Instead of having it constantly. Yeah. Versus like a Dixie cup where it's like a little bowl that I'm shoving up.

37:24Like, I think I'd rather just... Put on some underwear. Freebleed.

37:32I'm so sorry, Mac. It's fine. You're going to walk out here being like that girl? I was raised by women. It's fine. Morgan, you both in a Dixie cup. I'm dead. It's a Diva cup. Diva cup, yeah. Oh my God, it's a D... Stop! Or you put a Dixie cup. See, I didn't judge. You might put a Dixie cup up there. That would give you, like, toxic shock. But, you know, to each their own.

37:55Stop. Oh my God. Okay. Well, thank you, Bailey, for the Dixie Diva Cup save.

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39:44it can unlock better rates, more options, and real savings. So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on Credit Karma for less craziness and more credit. A cup is about the same size as a Duma cup. They're about the same size, so. Wow, that is wild. Woo! Okay. I'm moving along to this next one. All right. Also just PSA Apparently if you do use a diva cup You have to boil them So make sure everyone's being safe Regardless of what you're using for your periods There you go, Maru now Okay This next one It's got me stressed Okay, ooh I'm sweating It's coming from AITA Relationships Titled Am I the asshole for planning to confess my feelings to my married manager.

40:45Planning? Mm-hmm. Oh. Okay. Come on. It's giving, um, it's giving one of those, like, short-form vertical dramas. I'm in love with my married manager? I already see the thumbnail. Literally. I, 27 female, feel like I am losing my mind. My best friend just called me delusional and threatened to distance herself from me if I go through with this, so I need an outside perspective. For my own personal sanity, all names have been changed. For the past year, I've worked closely with David, 38 male. He is the assistant manager at the retail pharmacy where I work as a pharmacy tech. He is married to Sarah, and they have two toddlers.

41:34His locker is covered in drawings from his kids, and he talks about his family constantly. On paper, he is the ultimate family man. But over the last six months, I feel like our relationship has changed. It started in November when my dog passed away. He noticed I was crying in the break room, went down the street, and brought me a vanilla latte and a muffin. He sat with me for 10 minutes and just listened to me vent. No one - That's when love happened. All you have to do is listen, men. Men, do you hear that? Bring a muffin and listen. No one else at work even noticed I was upset, but he did.

42:16Since then, we've developed a routine. Whenever we pass each other by the stockroom, he gives me this specific warm smile. A few weeks ago, during a hectic Monday rush, I made a joke to a difficult customer that fell flat. But when I looked across the pharmacy counter, David was smiling and shaking his head. It felt like an inside joke just between us. This is so vertical drama. Then there was the team dinner last month at a packed deafening restaurant. Because it was crowded, David sat directly across from me. At one point, the room got incredibly loud. David leaned all the way across the table just to hear what I was saying.

43:00While I was talking, he looked directly at my lips, smiled and nodded along. A few of our co-workers at the end of the table actually stopped talking and just stared at us because it looked so intense. It felt like the rest of the room completely melted away. The biggest thing happened last Friday. We were staying late to finish checking in an inventory shipment. The store was closed. He walked over to check my progress, and as he leaned over my shoulder to look at the terminal, his sleeve brushed against my arm. Oh.

43:41He didn't pull away immediately. He stayed there for at least three seconds. Before he clocked out, he looked at me. Oh my God, Mr. Gray. And he said, quote, Don't stay too late, Shelby. We need you around here. It felt like a physical spark I am convinced that he is trapped in a passionless marriage And his kindness is his subconscious way of crying out for a connection Okay He always remembers exactly how I take my coffee Men don't pay that much attention to a woman unless they are deeply attracted to her My plan is to ask him to grab drinks after our shift this thursday and gently lay my cards on the table I want to tell him that I know he feels the connection too and that i'm willing to wait for him My best friend snapped at me saying quote shelby.

44:38He is a nice guy He bought you a coffee once you are being delusional and you are about to ruin your job based on a sleeve brushing against your arm. Am I misreading this? Or am I the asshole if I say how I feel? I feel like she might be misreading it. I feel like I've been in that spot before. And I'm going to give you serious talk about it, girl. You might be experiencing what I found, because I have therapy. It's called feeling neglected. And when you feel very neglected in like some personal space, when someone gives you that feeling of like what you feel like you're missing, you might interpret it as like, oh, we're supposed to be together.

45:20And so I'm like, girl, you might need to just go out and go on some dates. I think that might be your answer. I think she needs... Go on Tinder and go lay with the man for a few nights, you know? She needs a hug. Rethink how he's approaching you. She needs some physical connection. There's like a physical neglect in her right now. And she's like misinterpreting this niceness as like, oh, he wants me. I would be very curious. Like, when was the last relationship you had? When was the last time someone held your hand? When did you get a hug? When was the last relationship you had and how did that person treat you?

45:55Yes. Did you cuddle? Like, to me, I think you are just so on the nose with it where she has been so neglected that literally a brush of a sleeve is sending her into a frenzy. A frenzy. Like, she's giving Twitterpated, like, from Bambi. Like she is just like, oh my God, she's just distraught over this. And I'm like, to have someone listen to you and you think they don't care about women unless they're this attracted or invested or deeply connected. That means you've had some past relationships that were very one-sided in I guess that aspect. I'm kind of like, now I'm like, God, I'm just like a little worried for her.

46:36Because I'm like, are you not having genuine conversations with anyone in your life? Unless they like want to use you in some way. That's what is kind of coming off. Okay, like girl, stand up. I'm like, I really, I want to go give her a hug. Yeah. I'm starting to feel really bad for OP. And I'm like, I do just think like, he's just being a nice guy. Like if I walked into my break room and saw someone crying, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to do the same thing no matter who they are. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I went through, I mean, I'm, I had a therapy situation about that. I went through that period of like feeling neglect and I was like attaching myself really hard to a specific person only because they were listening to me during that time.

47:16And I went through that period of being like, oh, I think we're supposed to be meant to be together. Oh, I think I think he wants me. I think he's in love with me. And, you know, it took me a second to really snap out of that and realize, oh, I was just in a bad place. How did you snap out of it? Therapy. Was it really? It was really. Was there something that your therapist said that just like clicked and you were like, oh, shit. He talked to me about like just feeling neglect and all that stuff. I was just like telling him about my feelings and everything. I was like, yeah, that's just like you're just you're in a situation where a person you're with or people you're with weren't really giving you what you want or what you feel.

47:45And someone else did you like translate that to what you like. Yeah, it's just it's long winded. But I appreciate you sharing because I think that's like so relatable. And like it is it is. I understand like a work crush, like sometimes these like little work crushes and people joke like, oh, that's my work hubby. It's my work wife, but he's married with two kids. Two kids, a whole life. That's just a full-grown father, just, you know, being nice to one of his employees. Like, he would be nice to probably one of his kids. And I'm like, I'm not, I don't think we're, like, misinterpreting it. Like, based on what OP is sharing, like, I genuinely think she is misinterpreting.

48:30She's misinterpreting a little bit, yeah. So, we do have some comments, okay? Top comment that I have right now. Of course, you're the asshole. He is married with children. You have no idea about the state of their marriage. And that is something where OP is like, he must be in a... That's also, I forgot about the part. I was like, have you taught, has he like brought up his marriage problems? Yeah. Has he said anything about it? No, I don't think so. Not by the sounds of it. Otherwise, then she would have added it because then it's even like more ammunition for her to be like, I love you. Yeah.

49:03and the thing is too where she she says like i'll i just want to like lay my cards on the table and then i'm willing to wait how long because divorce ain't going to be quick that's not yeah that's long okay so he's so you're going to be the side piece that's your goal like what is also what relationship are you going to even have so he can determine if he wants to blow up his life divorce his wife split custody 50 50 go through a divorce separate maybe lose his house like what what are you gonna give him a couple more brush of the sleeves in the pharmacy like what how do you even know if you'd work looks and smiles yeah i want to be like i wonder what it's like to be this level of mystified like you know what i mean it's not great as a person that experiences it once the bubble pops you're like oh and you just you get really embarrassed like the person i was really attached to we we're very we're kind of estranged now and i'm like i understand but at same time i kind of feel bad i'm like i'm so sorry you know what i mean like i i know you didn't deserve all this from me but you know i was in a place yeah i sorted comments by controversial now just to see if we have any people that are like yeah tell him like tell him girl and still even the controversial ones you're the asshole girl this isn't some romance book leave the dude alone You want to be friends?

50:28Cool. But don't make it more than what it actually is. You're willing to break up a family and marriage because you're selfish. And someone goes, even romance books wouldn't do this. Someone does say, go for it. YOLO. I would be the one. I'm like, you know what? Do it for the plot. Do it for the plot. Do it for the plot. It did get nine downvotes. But only nine. like only nine which is like kind of concerning someone else goes you're the asshole imagine being without a best friend and a job because she's gonna lose her bestie over this someone goes fired for sexual harassment and no reference I mean yeah that's pharmacy I feel like there's a huge HR situation with pharmacists so yeah you can't I don't know I don't know the life of pharmacists yeah I don't think you're allowed to really fraternize in that no no In those chemistry rooms.

51:26No, no, no, no, no. A lot of people just comment, your friend is right. You're being naive and delusional. At 27, people already should understand what is good and bad. Like, no, girl, no. And then we do get an update. What happened? What did she do? What does he do? Hi, Reddit. I definitely didn't expect this post to blow up so much. Okay. Many of you definitely had similar insight that my best friend had and shared with me beforehand. Prior to making this post, I had already began searching for a new job to remove myself from this environment, as I have no desire to be the other woman or much less make a move on someone and become a homewrecker.

52:21You did not say that in the original post. Yeah, what? You could have saved us a lot of stress. Within the last month and a half, I've been able to secure a new job working as a pharmacy manager, the same as David. When I left, I felt assured that this Reddit would not need an update since I had removed myself from any and all contact with my previous coworkers, David included. How wrong could I be? Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Two nights ago, my phone lit up at 11.30 p.m. with a text from an unknown number. It turned out to be David. He started off by saying that he tracked down my private cell number by going through old company shift logs.

53:05He congratulated me on my new manager role, but then the tone shifted into something completely predatory. And my stomach absolutely dropped. David said this. Oh, so her intuition was correct. I'm sitting here talking about my, I was neglected, so I understand you. And she was right. It's fine. It's fine. But how? How? David, quote, honestly, Shelby, the store is completely miserable without you. I miss looking at you across the counter. Now that you don't work under me anymore, we don't have to worry about HR. My wife is taking the kids to her parents' house this weekend. What Sarah doesn't know won't hurt her.

53:53jail how did she how did how how how how wow wow you know moral of the story you know don't um second judge a female's intuition i learned i'm learning i'm learning i'm learning i'm becoming better today hey i just want to apologize

54:18she didn't share enough in the original post that like she did it and i'm like the intimate dinner it was loud i'm confused i sat there in absolute horrified shock i wasn't delusional after all the spark was real, but I had completely misjudged his character. He wasn't some noble, honorable family man. He was a textbook creep who deliberately used my vulnerability when my dog died to groom me for an affair, calculatingly waiting until I left the company so he could pursue me without getting fired by HR. Oh, what a tone shift. This went from vertical drama to a vertical horror. I still, I'm like, I don't think he used your dog dying as a way to groom you.

55:10No, I don't think so. Yeah, she's jumping. That's very serious. And how could he have predicted your dog would die? Unless he went in there and is a serial killer. No. Okay. We are really going off the rails here. I refused to protect a liar. I didn't reply to him at all. Instead, I immediately screenshotted the texts, found his wife Sarah on Facebook, and sent them directly to her. I explicitly told her that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him and believed she deserved to know exactly what her husband was doing behind her back. Yesterday morning, David completely snapped. He sent me a string of furious unhinged texts calling me a psycho and a home-wrecking liar and a vindictive bitch because Sarah had apparently packed her bags, taken the kids, and left him.

56:02He tried to claim that I ruined his life over a harmless joke and that I took things too far. To make it even crazier, two of my former co-workers who are buddies with David actually texted me defending him. They claimed I was cruel for destroying a marriage and a family with two young kids, saying that I should have just blocked him and minded my own business. I am completely baffled by anyone defending this guy. I didn't destroy his marriage. David did that all by himself the second he decided to cheat on his wife and hunt down an ex-employee's phone number. I feel entirely justified in protecting a mother and her children from a manipulative liar, and I refuse to let him flip the script and make me the villain for exposing his toxic behavior.

56:48I'm really confused, though, and I don't know if I took the appropriate steps or if I jumped the gun. Am I the asshole? dot dot dot again I think she might have jumped the gun a little bit I don't know it seems like we're missing a lot of like characterization you know what I mean from the original one and this one it's like a lot of suddenly he's a groomer now you're like okay we're missing a lot of connections here so I feel like it's hard to judge but based off of just the jump without the connections yeah she's coming off quite much I'm overall confused. It's confusing. You went from knowing he's married with toddlers and wanting to be their step mommy.

57:34Wanting to, yeah, she wanted to risk it all and now suddenly she's the better person. And now that he does want ya. Yeah. You're like, oh my God, he's a horrible person and his wife deserves to know. You were feeling a connection. She was really into the fantasy and then once the fantasy became real, she was like, wait a minute. What signs were you giving him to feel this spark? You know, fire takes a lot of different elements to get it going. I watched Survivor. You need a fuel. You need air. You need a spark. You need a twig. You need wood. What are you in this? are you the coconut shell or are you the flint like you know what i mean where i'm like you it does take two to tango and i'm like you were saying street there was like this huge spark and i'm like ma 'am you the shoulder brushing the sleeves uh this is this is nuts me personally i don't know i guess like send the screenshot and i don't know whatever you you walk away with a clean conscience and maybe that's what it's about but also i think for sarah to pack the bags and the kids maybe there's some other stuff other stuff bubbling yeah maybe there's some other stuff maybe this isn't the first pharmacy rodeo he's fallen for yeah maybe it's it's maybe it is a whole ploy maybe he does that I don't know.

59:12That's what I'm saying. We're missing characterization. We're missing pieces. What do you think is missing? If you were going to predict what was left out. Just all about the man, the dude. I feel like she was so focused. She was more hyper fixated on how she felt about him in the first paragraph. I feel like she was overlooking probably so many red flags about him. And then she came back and was like, like I said, the bubble was popped. And she's like, oh, wait, actually, he's not that good of a guy, you know? I think it's just one of those things. Like the bubble was popped. Rose colored glasses came off.

59:46And I think it is like psychologically people want what they can't have. And then once you can have it, you're like, don't want it anymore. Like I've been watching Love Island, the UK version, way better. Really? And my girl Mika, man, like she just has been going back and forth on Samaraj. And I'm like, Mika, that is not your man. I've never seen that show. I know a lot of people are obsessed with it. The UK version. Because it's like a 24-7 surveillance dating show. Yeah. Okay, because I watch Big Brother. I'm into Big Brother. I'm into competition, you know? Are you watching this season? Yes.

1:00:24Rick Devens is on. And D, I'm a big survivor. He's currently the head of household right now this week. I don't know when this is coming out, but. I've never seen Big Brother, but I'm a huge Survivor fan. I love it. I mean, Big Brother is Survivor, but just in a house. In a house with food, yeah. With air conditioning, yeah. Yeah, probably the one I'd be better at. I know. I'm like trying to get my husband on Survivor. And I want to do a show. You know, I'm like, I need a fun show. I want to do Traders. I know they started doing a regular people's Traders. And I'm like, maybe I can sign up for that.

1:00:54I don't think I'm, I think I do. I'm like a C-list celebrity. So I think I can get on the regular season of Traders. You'd be really good. You'd be really good. I think I'd be a really good Trader. I think I'd be really fun. Alan. We've got Mac right here for you, baby. I'd love to go together. Maybe we can like co-apply. Do we know any casting people that work for NBC Peacock and Traders? Let us know. Let us know. I would love that. Yeah, there's something. Something's off here. So this next story is actually brought to you by Universal Pictures One Night Only. It's the biggest rom-com of the summer in theaters August 7th.

1:01:39set in New York two strangers played by Monica Barbaro and Callum Turner Dua Lipa's new hubby they try to find love on the one night of the year that single people are legally allowed to have sex one night I'd go insane my nightmare how do they catch people not like are there like trackers I don't know we'll see we're gonna have to see yeah watch the movie we can go yep it's messy and speaking of this next story also a little messy So this next story is coming from our best friend, DirectCaterpillar77. It's... DirectCaterpillar77? Okay. Yeah. He is on it. The best of the best, he finds it. Hey, give it to me.

1:02:25It is titled, I, 32 male, have been sleeping with my best friend, 32 female, for two weeks. And I think we've been dating for 10 years and never realized it. Wow. Okay. One of those. So me and Sophie have been best friends since like the first grade. She was my next door neighbor growing up. We went to the same college and got jobs in the same city. And we've been roommates since we were like 25. So typing this up almost feels like we've been in a couple all along. But I've never really thought of her sexually since we were teenagers. She had a boyfriend at like 17 and they were really in love with each other and I was good friends with him.

1:03:04But unfortunately, he passed like a week after we graduated high school. She was obviously a wreck, and I helped her as much as I could to get through it. And in the process, we pretty much became inseparable. It's not like one of us was clinging to the other. It was completely mutual. We liked the same things, have the same interests, and did stuff together all the time. When she was having a hard time sleeping because of her boyfriend's passing, she asked to come over because she didn't want to be alone. And I, of course, was there for her. Eventually, we graduated college and decided to get the jobs in the same city, and eventually after that, we decided to move in together as roommates because we could save a ton of money and we were always hanging out together anyways.

1:03:46Now, I realize that basically, I think we've been a couple except we just didn't have sex. Of course, she would have a guy over sometimes, but it was never really serious and same with me. I dated a bit, but never really felt a connection with any of them. So about two weeks ago, we were watching wrestling like we do every week. And she started softly crying and we were sitting like inches from each other on the couch. So, of course, I put my arm around her and I ask her if she's OK and if she needs to talk. Basically, she's been having a hard time finding a guy and she's really upset. She's always been kind of thick, but now she's pretty chubby and says that attractive guys don't want to sleep with her anymore.

1:04:27Hey, I heard about this thing called Shrek-ing, though. So you always got yours.

1:04:40So I'm trying to be supportive and stuff, and I wasn't lying. I've always thought she was really pretty. So I said that's not true and that plenty of guys would love to sleep with her. She's not a prude or anything, and we've always made crude jokes to each other. And I said something like, quote, If we weren't best friends, I'd have been trying to fuck you for the past 10 years.

1:05:04If we weren't best friends. If we just weren't, you know. Dang. She gave me this look like I had just flipped a switch on a robot. And she was staring right into my eyes. And my brain is telling me to kiss her. So I did. We were making out for probably five minutes. and she had pulled my shirt off and I'd pulled hers off. And then I think, oh my God, what am I doing? So I stopped and I'm like, whoa, we need to think about this. Are we sure we want to go down this road? We talk for like two minutes and we basically decide, hey, we've been friends for 25 years and been through way worse together.

1:05:45And having sex one time shouldn't be an issue. It was by far the best sex I ever had. There we go. And now, since that time, we've had sex at least once every day. Sometimes... Every day. Ooh, okay. Sometimes two or three times a day. Wow, come on, stamina. Let's go. We both realize we need to discuss this, but keep saying we'll discuss it tomorrow when we'll have more time. But I recognize we have to discuss it, like, soon. and I'm scared. I think I've realized that I've been madly in love with her this entire time. And that's why I never connected with any of the other women I've dated. And I'm really hoping it's the same for her.

1:06:36I think we both might have felt this way for a long time and we're just finally realizing it. It just sounds so fucking crazy. Like what the fuck is going on? Am I crazy? am I getting my hopes up if she doesn't feel the same way I do how can I ever hang out with her again what do I do he's just panicking he's panicking I mean y 'all been friends for close friends for so long I mean nothing will really change if you guys become a relationship it doesn't really have to change much I mean sex now every day apparently three times a day okay I know I feel like I mean I guess when you like turn a friendship into a relationship there is that like obligation that kind of grows and all that stuff and that nerves, all that stuff.

1:07:22But you guys have been so close for a while. Just go for it, I'd say. Guess what's the harm? Mm-hmm. Could it end badly? Maybe. Maybe. But if you guys are friends and if you guys have been communicative for, I mean, probably not. If you guys are just figuring out your feelings now, you probably haven't been that communicative in a while. Ooh, I don't know. Layers. Ooh, layers. Do you think she likes him back? Or do you think she's like using him for sex or? Well, I know some people can really separate it. And I know there's some people that like sex can just be sex. I have a hard time separating sex.

1:07:58For me, I'm very like, if I'm having sex with you, I like you. So, and for him to be like, it's the best sex I've ever had. Like, there's definitely some chemistry there. Sexual chemistry for sure. There's a chemistry, yeah. Romantic chemistry maybe, yeah. Yeah, so I'm like, I feel like there's a really good shot. She does like him back. And I'm like, you probably don't even have a reason to be actually nervous. Yeah, no reason to be nervous. I mean, she was crying next to you about how she couldn't find a man. Maybe that was her way of being like, you know, like, oh, you know. Maybe that was her leaving hints.

1:08:32I mean, that would be honestly kind of a play because otherwise, like, you started crying during wrestling. Was it like watching people? Like, what about wrestling? WWE? John Cena out there. WWE really bringing the tears out. Yeah. Yeah, no, I read it the first time and I read it as we were wrestling. I go, we were wrestling? There was a couple that like to do kung fu in their living room though and like really go at it. So I'm like, you never know. You never know. You never know. But I feel like you got to just talk. Like no more sex until you talk. Yeah. Talk about it. Come on. like down to business my guy but i think this could end up really like soulmates do you believe in soulmates like a disney happy ending you know yeah i do believe in soulmates so this could be it there's a lot of comments on this one everyone is like very happy and hopeful someone goes i think she's in you otherwise she probably wouldn't have slept with you multiple times i suggest that you start taking her out on real dates.

1:09:40If she agrees and is receptive to cuddling and holding hands, she's definitely into you. And whenever you feel the timing is right, you can tell her what's in your heart and how you feel about her. Which is interesting. More of like, don't tell her yet. Don't tell her yet. That's weird. Yeah. I mean, you guys have been friends. Just tell her. See, I would say just tell her. Just tell her, yeah. Like, I'm really vibing with you. I'd actually like to try to start dating. or do you I guess do you just start dating and then it just falls into that but that's where I'm like I think that could get even messier and you could get more fucked up because if you then start going on these dates and she's just like this is my friend Tom just taking me out and then you fall more in love oh yeah things get messy fast yeah just speak your feelings yeah speak Speak your truth, King.

1:10:30Speak your truth. OP does respond. I mean, like we always cuddle on the couch. And in college, when she would come to my dorm because she couldn't sleep, we'd sleep in my bed together. Just nothing sexual happened. I'm starting to think she's spent 15 years trying to give me hints now. Maybe. Probably. I was saying like she was next to you on the couch crying. You're like, I can't find a man. I feel like that was very much a hey. I'm starting to think you're right. Yeah, no, I think that really was like, God, I've done everything except cry.

1:11:06Like, no, I'm like, wait. 15 years later. 15 years later of hints. I've been oblivious before. I'm pretty oblivious when people like me. I don't know unless you tell me right through my face. Yeah, I think I'm like that because like a lot of times when I've liked people, they haven't liked me. So I've just kind of given up being the one that initiates. Like my husband, when we started going on dates, it took us like he was like so explicit. I thought he just wanted to be friends, even though we met on Hinge. And we literally we went to the nun. It was so scary. And I'm still sitting there. I'm like freaked out.

1:11:44And all of a sudden he puts his hand on my leg and I'm like, oh. And in my head, I was still like, maybe he's just like a friendly type of friend. But no, like he didn't want to be friends. But like it took that for me to be like, okay. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know, but I'm hopeful. They have decided that they are going to start going on actual dates. So OP is taking that person's advice and says, we're going to go on dates. We do go on dates all the time. I just didn't realize they were dates. Like dinner together, lunch, museums. That's the youth nowadays. days i was just talking about that to a friend i'm like you people don't like state like like this is a date anymore you're kind of just like oh let's just go see a movie and then go get dinner i'm like is this a date it's not a date someone say it's a date or not i like when a guy i've been talking to a guy it's like we're going on a date right now i'm like i love this i'm not i'm not used to this straightforwardness i appreciate that because then it's just like are you interested in me or not like like set the tone here like what do i what should i expect what's going on Yeah.

1:12:54Did you have to communicate that or was that just like on them? It was like on them. Yeah. I was like, okay, take me on a date. I love that. That's, yeah, that's so refreshing versus like are we, aren't we? And like the beat around the bush of it all. I hate beating around a bush. Like those bushes are big sometimes. Those bushes are massive. You can't find your way around. I'm lost. I know. So we do get an update. Okay So they're married Yep they're getting the minivan They're going down the altar Down the whatever aisle The aisle soon Update So she got home and I told her we need to talk And she seemed disappointed So I was really bummed Like she looked like she wanted to cry But I said please just let me say What I need to say and then we can go from there I told her that since we had started having sex, I've realized I'd been in love with her for a really long time, and I didn't realize it.

1:13:58And she started trying to hold back tears, and I got the worst knot in my stomach, and I thought I was literally going to puke. I told her it's okay if she doesn't feel the same. I would always be there for her as a friend, and I would try my best to not let my feelings get in the way. But now that it's out there, I guess there isn't any going back. She told me to stop, and she was crying now. Okay. I stopped, and it felt like an eternity just sitting there. I couldn't even look her in the face. Then she just kind of wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest and was sobbing. I'm just sitting there confused, trying to figure it out if this is good or horrible.

1:14:41I hope this is good. It sounds like it's good. I don't know. She seems like a crier.

1:14:49Finally, she looks up at me and says she's been waiting for me to say that since college. And that the reason she was crying with me on the couch the other week was because she thought it had been long enough and if it wasn't going to happen, and that's why she kept trying to put it off having a talk after we started having sex, because she thought that that was the closest we'd ever come to being a couple. Oh. You clocked the crying. Oh, yeah. The crying. It was there. The hint. The hint. You knew it. Aw, cute Avril Lavigne song. Credits, you know. Yeah. He ends it with, now we are waiting for our Chinese food to come after some awesome sex.

1:15:38Three times.

1:15:43Thanks so much for the advice and getting me to finally say something. This guy is like the epitome of like, oh my God, what is it? But he's not complaining about it, but he's like, you know when people are like, uh, lobsters too buttery. Like, you know that saying? No, what? Oh my God. It's like a really like big saying right now. Lobsters too buttery? Yeah, lobster too buttery, steak too juicy. Like it's like people complaining about having - Oh my life is too good. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Lobster too buttery Bank account too full Like Waiting for a Chinese food after we Fuck Life is great dog I'm just like Dude You could have just like I get it You're excited But like You had to rub it in Like Come on You want everyone to know He's having sex You know He's a sex man Okay I'm so happy for them though Oh my gosh This is wild Did you see it coming?

1:16:54I mean you clearly did You knew the crying I was hoping I was like it's gonna have a happy ending You knew But will our movie One Night Only Have a happy ending? Will it? Will it? Will they? Won't they? From the director of Anyone But You Easy A And Friends With Benefits One Night Only brings a new spin This episode is brought to you by Chrysler. Life with kids is basically a never-ending series of plot twists. One minute, everyone's buckled in. The next, someone's dropped a snack, lost a shoe, or needs a bathroom break immediately. That's why the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica is built for real life.

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1:18:41Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Visit cashapp.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. This episode is brought to you by Billy. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter. I'm in hibernation mode and I grow out my leg hair a little bit, but it's getting warmer and now I'm excited for that first shave of the season. And if you are, then you got to get the Billy razor into your life. It's designed for how women actually shave, legs, pits, toes, happy trail, wherever prickles decide to show up.

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1:19:53Ooh. I love a rom-com. Popcorn too buttery. I'm ready. How you doing? You got one more in ya? Yes, of course. I've been enjoying these. I'm going to give you a choice. Ooh, okay. You get to pick. Option one, my partner confessed to me that she frequently fantasizes about settling down with her childhood friend that she's always had a crush on and proposed a hall pass arrangement. Or am I the asshole for telling my friend that her free wedding is unrealistic? Free wedding? Free wedding. Free wedding? What do you mean free wedding? I know. As someone that planned a wedding, I cannot even imagine getting that for free.

1:20:38I kind of want to hear that because I want to know what a free wedding is. Let's do it. Okay. Let's do it. We also had a childhood best friend, crush. Coming together. And I'm also like, you're engaged, but you're asking for a hall pass for your childhood best friend. Ma 'am, you're with the wrong person. Go with the friend. But okay, let's get into this wedding drama. This is coming from AITAH, again titled, am I the asshole for telling my friend that her free wedding is unrealistic? I, 24 Female, am a member of a friend group in which one member, we'll call her Coral, 23 Female, is getting married.

1:21:14She announced her engagement to her fiancé, 25 Male, a few weeks ago, and we are all happy for her. Over the weekend, though, she shared more specific plans for the wedding, and that's where things have kind of gone off the rails. I want to hear about this wedding. Let's see. She said she's been seeing a lot of people on TikTok and Instagram showing how to plan a free wedding. Weddings where the couple spends zero dollars aside from the marriage certificate fee, I guess. At first, I thought she meant a city hall wedding, which would be completely fine. But then she got into the details and her expectations for the ceremony.

1:21:55She's going to try and find someone with a large outdoor space to use, not formally a wedding venue, who will donate their area in support of love.

1:22:10she is going to have all of her guests bring a potluck very specific assignments though and she will have a friend officiate a friend do photography a friend do the save the dates and invites her family do the flowers etc including some harder to swing in my opinion things like getting a large tent, decorations, wedding favors, speakers, a band, etc. I'm not sure what her plan is for a dress. Okay. Okay, so she has a lot. Okay, when I was thinking like, oh, free wedding without money, it's like, oh, someone's backyard. You got a friend officiated. It costs like, what,$15 to become a wedding officiator person?

1:22:51You know, what's it called? Ordained minister. It costs about$15. I'm an ordained minister. I forget about that. I can do it. I don't know if I'm ordained, but I did a class online. Really? Okay. Yeah. It's just like a form you sign at the Universal Life Church. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I have the same one. I was thinking, okay. Yeah. Hey. We're ready. Come on, colleague. Have you done one yet? I did it on, I went on a comedy tour in like 2018. And then two people during my like VIP meeting, it was like, you're an ordained minister. Can you officiate us? I was like, yeah, sure. And they recorded it. They had a witness.

1:23:27Yes. And I luckily I had my ordained minister stuff because it was like a whole joke on my tour that I was ordained minister. I've been joking. Oh, yeah, I have this certificate and everything. Like we can actually make this real. I've I've been joking. I want this is what I want. This is what I want, guys. When we go back on tour, this is what I want. Yeah. Officiate a wedding. It's fun. Yeah. So I officiated one wedding on the run. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. No, this girl's got a list and it is extensive. It goes on to say,

1:24:23to make the cake and then sent me some pictures for inspiration. The cakes were ridiculously elaborate. We're talking multi-tier fondant flowers, gold leaf, and one even had a hand-painted watercolor design. I'm not a professional baker. I just like to bake cookies and brownies sometimes. I told her that those cakes would probably take me days to make and they wouldn't come out anywhere near as good. She kind of just laughed it off and said, quote, oh, it's not about it being perfect. It's just about everyone pitching in. It'll be fun. I told her that fun or not, what she was describing was basically her friends and family subsidizing her wedding with time, money and labor, and that it was kind of unfair to expect people to spend so much on her free wedding or else she was expecting everyone to show up to a lackluster event and just pretend it was amazing.

1:25:19It's like a group project that none of us wanted to do because we already graduated and moved on from all of that. I feel that. So we don't need the credit. She does graduate a year later than the rest of us. I said that if she wants a free wedding, she should probably just elope or go to City Hall because this isn't really free. It's just free for her. I might have been a bit more forceful in my wording, but I didn't swear or call her names or anything like that. She got super quiet and just looked at me for a minute or so and then left with another one of our friends driving her home. Later that night, I got a text from that friend saying that I really hurt Coral's feelings and that even if the plans were a bit unrealistic, I should have just let Coral come to that conclusion on her own.

1:26:07Coral then messaged me saying, quote, sorry, don't worry about the cake with no more context. I'm feeling pretty bad now, especially since Coral was so happy and excited and she never really said anything to me. Perhaps I should have just gone along with the cake since she said she wouldn't be mad if it turned out badly. But I'm worried that her wedding would not have been what she wanted. And I was also frustrated about the cake request. Am I the asshole? I feel that. I feel that. Maybe she didn't like have high expectations maybe she was just like she thought it was a fun idea for everyone to come together and like do this group project but I feel like that will only make sense in my mind if like my grandparents were getting remarried and we made it like a oh let's do a free wedding everyone come together as a family and like we built this wedding together but I can't imagine like a high school friend getting married and like expecting me to do all that for them you know that's a whole different no scenario well and going back to her list too like i've got prices for all this stuff i literally i did this i did basically a backyard wedding put up my own tent um hired a band did decorations did all this stuff and just like just the band four thousand dollars for a band okay like if you want a good band it costs money like Unless you know a band, like you can call your brother and his friends up and be like, hey, will you perform at the wedding?

1:27:33Like, that's different. But I guess like, should you have said something? I don't know. You really did shit in her Cheerios. Yeah, it's kind of. I don't think she was well at delivering her, like, how hardcore is her expectations? If the expectations were delivered, better be like, oh, you know, I don't care. which is a Vons cake with a bunch of splatter on it. As long as you got like what I was, you know, trying to go, then maybe she was like, okay, I'll just bake a cake and do whatever. But I think because she was setting like severe, like serious hardcore wedding cakes, it probably was like, I don't know.

1:28:12Intimidating. Yeah, intimidating. I know because then like OP does be like, well, what I could do wouldn't be anything like this. And then sweet Coral, bless her heart, says, no, it doesn't matter what it looks like. Like it can be bad. It's just like, it's more about the thought. So then I guess OP should have taken that as like, she just wants to do this and like, okay, cool. But I think then it's like OP really was like, no, no, no, girl. Like this is super unrealistic and you're actually just like taking advantage of people and like subsidizing your wedding at everyone else's expense. Like and literally expense, money.

1:28:47It is money. And so I'm like, would you have said anything to your friend? I feel like it just depends on the scenario. It depends on the friend and depends on what they expected. how close that's the whole thing so it's like yeah i don't know the connection fully i know and op even says here like i might have been a bit more forceful in my wording but i didn't swear or call her names okay so it's kind of like a stress response you probably like said something out of like the moment yeah i'm like how forceful how forceful like how how what did you say how loud were you yeah how good did you get would i have said something probably not right then and there.

1:29:27If all I had to do was make a cake, I would have made the cake and that counts as your gift. Like, and it would have been a box cake. Like, I'm not, we're not doing this from scratch. I'd say a little bit of Vaughn's cake, I'd just put a bunch of splatter on it. Okay, I, the grocery stores are popping off on the cakes. Costco, Costco is popping off on the cakes. $14.99 for a beautiful cake. Really? I haven't seen a Costco cake in a second. I got my grandma one for her birthday. Okay. I'm going to show you a picture. It was beautiful. And I just like, I left a little note on it and I was like, flowers, yellow, happy birthday.

1:30:07And they, it was incredible. It was beautiful. I'm going to have to insert a picture of the one I made for my grandma because it's beautiful. No one has really good pictures online. Maybe that's why everyone doesn't know about Costco. Yeah. Spread the gospel, you know, here and now. I'm spreading the news, you know, a little jingle. I literally can't find a good picture, but there are people that are trying new Costco cakes. But like here's one, like these are like their little happy birthday cakes, but you can do custom orders. So you can do like flowers, specific colors. And again,$14.99. Yes.

1:30:49Where are you getting that elsewhere? I don't know. Costco, yeah, Costco. I mean,$14.99 plus the membership, though. But you know what I found out? If someone buys you a Costco gift card and they gift it to you, you don't need a membership to go use the gift card. No, no, no. No loophole. We're going to fact check that just to be sure. We're going to have a bunch of people going to Costco with a gift card. That girl from Two Hot Takes sent me here. But I'm pretty sure, like, because it's like they want you to come in. And I'm right. Right? Okay. We fact-checked. Thank you very much, Bailey. Like, what a great sales method.

1:31:30Good way to get in there. Get in the door. So, yeah. You still shop there without the membership? Ooh. But this, girl, I do think you might have been a little hard. But if you're close, this is something I would probably say to one of my friends. Would I have gone as poop in the Cheerios? No. No. No. Where do you think the comments are going to go on this? What direction? Um, probably say you're a bit harsh, I would think. I feel like it could go either way. I haven't read any of them. I'm kind of nervous. Sorted by best comment right now. Top comment, almost 7K upvotes. Not the asshole. Okay.

1:32:12She's in for a rude awakening the first time she asked for a free party tent from someone. Those are expensive as fuck to rent. So I got a tent. It wasn't a tent. Should I show you a picture? What was the tent? Was like a tarp? A tarp over a frame? So I say tent. It was not a tent. It was a structure. So it had aluminum steel beams that each beam weighs like 5 ,000 pounds. It was not a tent, but it's technically a tent, you know? But it's not. So you bought a building. So I did get quotes for rentals of these because I thought like the circus top tents were beautiful. But like I was getting married late September.

1:33:04I knew it was going to be cold. So I needed sides. And I just didn't like the look of what I was working with. So I wanted this structure looking tent. And I got quotes. And for what I wanted to rent it. one day, one time,$124 ,000. Wow. So I ordered one myself. Alibaba.com. Okay. Was it a terrifying experience? Yes. I had to wire thousands of dollars to Singapore. Just no idea if I'm going to get anything. But it arrived. And have to wait like two months for it to come? Three months. Three months, okay. It rolled up in a shipping container in a big ass crate and it turned out pretty good. Oh, wow.

1:33:52Oh, I did not expect this. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. Oh, my God. Alibaba. Alibaba. I know. Now you know. Now you know. But this, I mean, this is still tens of thousands of dollars. You're not getting that for free. Regular tent rental. I did get quotes on that. for the three big post circus top looking tent, the nice white ones, 14 ,000. Okay. So unless you have a family friend that owns a tent business. You're not going to get it for cheap. You're not getting it for cheap. Like it is actually a lot of times cheaper to find a wedding venue that has a building already established than a random ass field to put up a tent.

1:34:36Like I have a friend that rented a venue for like 5 ,700. Okay, yeah. Like that's not bad in terms of wedding stuff. Again, I just said the band was 4K. We're not even going to talk about flowers. My flower gal was amazing. But flowers. Flowers get expensive. Flowers was more than food. Were you like flowers on every table? Okay, that's where you went wrong. See that? Yeah. I had flowers everywhere. Come on. Wow. Yeah, so this is my flowers. Oh my. Like, oh, yeah. See, that's thousands, right? Can I say that? Yeah. Okay. Thousands of dollars worth of flowers right there. I recognize I'm very privileged.

1:35:22Like that was a beautiful fucking wedding. It was, it's mind blowing. Like it's absolutely beautiful. Can you do stuff on a budget? Can family and friends come in and order flowers from Costco or Trader Joe's and DIY it? Yes, you absolutely can get that. on a DIY. But I wonder, like, did she really have strong expectations or she was like, I'm just going to shoot for the stars and, like, see where I land? Was that what her mindset, like, I just depend on where her mindset was, you know? You would have to, like, really clarify. Mm-hmm. Because if she genuinely doesn't care, then, like, whatever.

1:36:01Just everyone give their best shot and we're good. And she will, I guess, like, what that one friend was saying, where the one friend was like, you should have just, like, let her find it out on her own. You shouldn't have been so hard on her. Like, I think that is very, very true. She's going to reach out for tents, for a venue, for a band, for food. Well, no, she's doing a potluck. That sounds horrible. Like, I just want to go to a wedding and have fun. But if I got to bring guac, okay, whatever, that's not bad. But like a pot roast. I'll bring some Hawaiian rolls and, you know. I could cover those.

1:36:35I could cover those for sure. But like, I think she would, Find out quickly the reality of like, it's not happening. Trying to make that happen without money. Yeah. How do you determine in life when you need to be the bearer of bad news? Because sometimes I'm really bad at that. I am too. I don't know. I mean, in that situation, I wouldn't say anything. It's your wedding, you know? Your wedding, your consequences. I would feel that way. But I'm also autistic to where I would feel like I need to say something because that's just the reality. And I'm just like, oh, my God, keep it in. Keep it in.

1:37:12A lot of people keep going down the thread of like, I wanted to do a cheap wedding as we were in grad school and our families couldn't help much. I rented a park shelter in a very nice park for$50. My parents brought basically barbecue. My mother-in-law built a cupcake tower. I made fake flower centerpieces. Bridesmaids picked their own dresses. Grooming got a matching tie and wore their own clothing. Then we had a cabin for people to hang out in after. My friend officiated. We did that two weeks earlier, but that was it. It is possible to do a wedding pretty cheaply. It is not possible to do a fancy wedding for free.

1:37:48Yeah, there we go. And then a lot of people just go and share. They're like, I did my wedding for total under$2 ,000, which is amazing. A lot of people are like, it takes a lot of volunteers and family to do that, though. Yeah, it takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of, you gotta know, are you like well connected with these people you're asking? Like I said before, like if it was my grandparents could be married, I'm like, yeah, I'll go all in for that. But if it was just like a friend from high school, I'm like, no, I'm not gonna, I will buy you a Vons cake and you'll just enjoy it. Yeah. A lot of people say, not the asshole.

1:38:23Your friend is also embarrassing herself. Guests are not beneficiaries and employees. Coral is being tacky. And I honestly have secondhand embarrassment for her. I think a realistic discussion about this is akin to letting her know that she has spinach in her teeth. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. I'm like, I don't know. Now I'm like, I'm starting to feel really bad for Coral. I am too. She is only 23. Okay. I missed that part. Like, Coral's only 23. So young and ambitious. Okay. family has probably been you know paying for her up until this point freshly out of college you know also you don't know how much a wedding costs until you get into it like there is a big sticker shock there so maybe she's just like blissfully unaware and has these high hopes and ideals and again maybe she truly doesn't care how good or bad something is she just wants her people to come together and feel the love.

1:39:31So she can make a little Instagram reel for it, you know? Yeah. I did my wedding for free. I did a zero wedding. I feel bad for Coral. So OP does have an edit. Honestly, I feel a bit bad now. Coral really is a sweet person who is just a bit naive. I feel like a lot of people in the comments are tearing her up more than she deserves. She has always been the baby of the group, and I just got frustrated and ranted on this case. I don't know what the fiance thinks about all of this. That's true, too. There's a whole other person. Yeah, she is getting married to somebody. And his family is loaded, as OP said.

1:40:16So I don't think they're going to have to worry about free, not free. I think it's going to work out just fine for Coral. And I would actually, Coral, if you're out there listening, I'd like to come. I'd like to see. I want to see what happens. I would like to see. We could go. Coral reaches out. We'll be part of the TikTok. We will be there. We will be there. There are two updates.

1:40:47Oh no. Oh, yes. I don't know. You guys, I literally had my computer shut. If you are listening on audio, my computer was shut. I was going to be like, thank you so much for listening. So long. Farewell. Oh, my God. Did it happen? Did it happen? Update. My last post sort of blew up. I really didn't think so many people would be that interested in my silly friend group drama. Short recap, my friend Coral, free wedding, yada, yada, yada. After reading the comments, I honestly began to feel bad for Coral. She really is a kind-hearted person, but a lot of the people interpreted her as an insane entitled bridezilla.

1:41:30That's really not the case. I decided I was going to make the cake and I sent her an apology text to which I didn't get any reply. That was making me feel really anxious. I still didn't think that Coral's requests were that reasonable and wasn't expecting the wedding to go fully to her plans, but that's not for me to worry about. Finally, I got a message from Coral's fiance, who we'll call Basil, Basil, however you want to say it, asking to meet up. I said yes. My expectation going into this was that Basil would tell me how much I hurt Coral's feelings, and I was going to reiterate my apology and share some research and planning that I had done on the cake.

1:42:10That is not how it went, though. As it turned Turns out the whole free wedding thing was Basil's idea. That's not the impression I got before. Basil didn't at first explain why he wanted to do it. But when pressed, it sounds like it's so he could spend the money that he and Coral had been saving up for their wedding on something else. Oh, not honeymoon.

1:42:41not a honeymoon a boat okay come on straight men let's go a catalina 27 apparently very useful and practical thing to have when you're living in the city especially if your fiance gets seasick oh my god we did one of those river cruise things a while back and she had a bad time basil says he'll help her get over that and sailboats are different anyways after my whole outburst coral has apparently been having second thoughts about the free wedding thing basil asked me to talk to her apologize and tell her that it isn't a bad idea after all. He basically said that I owe it to him to help clean up the mess that I caused.

1:43:35Basil. No, Basil. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not, no, no. I'm not getting involved in your relationship. That's crazy. Just so you can buy a boat. A boat. For yourself. What's a Catalina? Is that the one, is that like a speedboat? Or? It is a sailboat. A sailboat? Okay. I mean, it looks pretty nice. Okay, that's what I thought when I heard a Catalina. Okay. It's got one big mast, two sails that pop up. I've seen those in the marina. It's nice for a day, but, you know, there's a saying about boats. I'm from Minnesota, land of 10 ,000 lakes. A lot of people try to have a boat, okay? There's two really good days with boat ownership.

1:44:17The day you buy it and the day you sell it. Okay. Boats. Are just a lot to handle. A lot to manage. A little problematic. They break. They have issues. Goes on to say, I don't feel great about that though. Apologizing, cleaning up the mess. I don't want to drive a wedge between Coral and Basil, but telling her I think it's a good idea after all of that just feels like lying. And I guess actively advocating for a potential train wreck is a further line for me than just agreeing to play my assigned, voluntold baker role. Moreover, this was my first real conversation with Basil, and I have to say I'm not totally convinced he's a great person.

1:44:58I don't know if he has exactly manipulated her into going along with this, but it kind of feels that way. So what do I do? It's been a little while now since I talked to Basil, so I really do need to do something, but do I do what Basil asked or further involve myself in the drama by telling Coral I don't think that the wedding or entire marriage is a good idea. So you went from telling her her free wedding is bad to you need to break up. Yeah. Wow. Just make the cake. At this point, just make the cake. Make the cake. Put your head down and keep on going. Just keep trudging along. See no evil.

1:45:46Have fun with your boat, I guess. I don't know. I hear no evil. speak no evil like that like no I think Coral is gonna figure out that Basil is a bad boy or you know what she will fall into that um divorced under 30 hot girl glow up category like I have a bunch of friends from college that literally like live by this mentality of like getting divorced before 30 was the best thing to happen to me like they are thriving after like a bad first marriage. Okay. And I kind of, like, I kind of, I see it. Like, you knocked one out. Now you can, like, you know. Go again. Yeah. Like, you know what you want.

1:46:31Your radar is in tune. And now you're going to be more locked in and ready. And, like, you know, I see it. I see it. So I think you got to let Coral, Coral. Figure it out, yeah. Let Coral, Coral. Let her do her thing. Hmm. Yeah, I would just keep it pushing at that point. Yeah, let her let Coral Coral at the end of the day. Let her figure it out. People on the update just say not the asshole. I would be a good friend and tell her the truth that you do think the free wedding idea is foolish. But ask her to explain more about what she thinks about Basil and the boat. Let her talk it out herself.

1:47:13She may be already starting to see Basil for who he is. and OP just kind of responds to people like it sounds like reasonable advice like I should meet up, I should talk, I should be a supportive friend and then the final update in this saga hi again finally posting this update hey how y 'all doing? I was finally able to get in touch with Coral and talk to her one on one the first thing I did was just ask her how she's doing. Apparently not well. Ooh. She's now fully aware that the whole free wedding thing really was her fiance's idea and he had mentioned the boat in passing as something he wanted to save up for but hadn't at all framed it directly as the thing he really wanted to spend the wedding money on as he did when he told me.

1:48:11Coral didn't even know. All right. Okay. Maybe he thought that that would make me think he's cool or something, or he thought having a specific goal in mind would make me more likely to support the idea. Anyways, it's not just the wedding planning that has made Coral upset. Apparently, Basil, who is into boats, I guess, has been spending more and more time at the marina. That's 78 minutes away. Coral quoted the exact number lots of time. He doesn't even spend that much time out on the water. He just hangs out with everyone there and has been spending less and less time at home. He also keeps talking about Grace, who, as had to be explained to me, is a boat rather than a woman.

1:49:01Okay. Parentheses, fortunately. Fortunately. Coral said that she's been invited to the club a few times, but has never really felt like she was a part of it. When she brought that up to Basil, he said he also feels that way because they don't own their own boat. I don't think it's the same at all. Even if Grace isn't a person, Coral is feeling jealous. Last night, Coral brought up the wedding plans with Basil again, and she said that she thinks she wants to wait and sort some stuff out. Basil didn't get angry or anything. He actually said that he understood. but also asked if that meant that they could spend some of their wedding savings since they would have more time to save up again.

1:49:42He wants to buy the boat. That broke Coral, which might be why she finally agreed to meet with me. I know it makes me kind of a jerk, but to be entirely honest, I'm just glad that Coral is talking to me again. I told her to break up with Basil. Oh, all right. She's thinking about it, but I'm scared she won't. I kind of want to offer to do it for her, but that would be silly. That would be crazy. That would be insane.

1:50:14Girl, you just got to butt out. Butt out. We've all had that friend where we don't like their boyfriend or their partner or... So, okay, so Basil was hanging out at the marina with a bunch of boat people without a boat. And that's why he wants a boat. Yeah, he wants to fit in. Okay. He wants to fit in. He wants to fit in with the boat guys. That's so random. And that's expensive. Like getting a boat, especially like parking at a marina. Yeah. Like there's rent for that. Oh, the boat slip? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I wonder how much the Catalinas go for. I'm very curious. Because like also, what a little like shit too.

1:50:53Like we should do a free wedding. And then he wants to buy a boat. So, seeing some prices on older Catalina 27s, seeing$10 ,000,$19 ,000. I was going to say about like$15 ,000 is the average for like a used one, I will say. Yeah. Mm-hmm. An old one from 1981, that's about$6 ,000. But those could need a complete restoration. Like that thing might not even be able to float. Most likely. Like, so... Buddy, you're going to need that for the wedding. But I actually, I don't know if there's going to be a wedding. Oh, my God. Some of these sailboats are 300K. Yeah, boats get expensive. I'm not a boat.

1:51:39I love going on a boat, but I never want to own a boat. You never own a boat. No, thank you. I am like, wow. That was delicious. I enjoyed every single one of these stories. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. Your energy was so fun, so contagious. I'm obsessed with you. and your content, which where can people find you? Where can they go watch? You can find me anywhere if you search Mac does it. It's all one word on everything. On everything. I'm a fully branded diva. Yes. All of Mac's links will be in the description. Super easy to find. You just go down, click show notes, click, click, click and go subscribe.

1:52:17Watch the content. It is so, so funny. I'm again obsessed. Thank you. That's all we got. So until next time, friends. Bye. Adios.

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