282: 1st Day on Earth! Ft. Direct_Caterpillar77

33:36About 10 minutes later, she whispered that her stomach was hurting. I quietly told her she'd be okay. Around 20 minutes later, she mouthed that she needed to fart, but didn't want to because my family was sitting nearby. I told her if she needed to, it was okay. About 15 or 20 minutes later, she said the same thing again. She needed to fart. Then another 20 minutes later, she said that she needed to use the restroom. There were warning signs. I told her that if she needed to go, she should go. She asked me to come with her. I said no because I wanted to keep watching the movie. And since I didn't need to use the restroom, I didn't see the point in both of us leaving.

34:17Every 15 to 20 minutes for the rest of the movie, she was tapping me and continued saying she needed to go and for me to go with her. I was getting irritated because I was trying to focus on the movie while being interrupted repeatedly. I kept telling her if she really needed to go to just go, but she kept insisting she didn't want to go alone and wanted me to come with her. The repeated interruptions made it harder for me to follow the movie, and I started feeling more frustrated as it went on. When the credits rolled, I sarcastically said, quote, quote, now you can go use the restroom since you were bothering me the whole movie.

34:55We all used the restroom, talked about the movie on the drive home, and everything seemed fine. When we got back to my house, she was clearly upset. I asked what was wrong, and she said I'd put the movie ahead of her health. I responded that she is an adult and didn't need me to accompany her to the restroom. She ended the conversation by saying, quote, yeah, I don't need you. Okay. Later, she texted that she has serious bathroom issues and that I wasn't taking her health seriously. From my perspective, it never seemed like a medical emergency. It seemed like she wanted me to walk with her because she didn't want to leave alone.

35:36She says I prioritized the movie over her. My sarcastic comment was rude and I didn't care about her health. Run. I agree. The comment was unnecessary, but I also felt like it was inconsiderate to repeatedly interrupt the movie over something that she was capable of handling herself. I don't think she was unable to go because I didn't accompany her. By the way, just to rule this out, this is not an unsafe theater or area whatsoever. She would not be in any danger or harm walking anywhere in this theater alone. So was I in the wrong here? I'm looking for honest opinions. This is, this is actually the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

36:22Um, yeah, actually, like, I don't, I don't know what to say. 21, you're not a seven-year-old at Despicable Me. You are perfectly capable of going to the restroom this is also i'm pretty sure the runtime on the odyssey is like three hours three hours every time i talk to someone who says that they've seen it instead of when i say how was it instead of saying it was good first they they go it was long very good long i i'm really surprised and i think this should be honestly a common thing in theaters and i get why they don't do it break i love an intermission that would be great i love going to Broadway musicals and knowing I'm going to get a chance to pee.

37:10I love an intermission. So true. Let me refill on snacks. I would for sure buy more. Let me get another icy and pee in peace without missing anything. If it's over an hour and a half, I think that would be great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This three hours. How are you sitting there hotboxing everyone in this theater with an upset stomach? Like just go to the bathroom. Fart. I know. Fart. Just fart. Yeah. I will fart in a loud theater right next to Justin. That does not faze me. Just fart. Yeah. Someone definitely cropped us to me today. Yeah. It's just fine. Just fart. I feel so horrible. We've come a long way, haven't we?

37:50What? With what? Just the farting. Oh, yeah. People still send me the fart cake or that article of the girl who got paralyzed because she wouldn't fart. That's horrible. I get sent that at least a couple times a week. That's awful. And I appreciate that you are concerned for my health, But I will, rest assured, toot city at my house. There you go. We're fine. You're healthy now. I'm just passing gas. Yeah. You know, what did this turn into? You needed that is what I saw. That was a moment that you really needed. So apparently. Apparently. I love that little kid. Do go on, Lauren. I'm so sorry.

38:27I've derailed this train. You're good. I think I might be in a like a slower wavelength as you today. So I'm struggling to keep up. No, the past couple episodes I've recorded, I need to start putting a limit on the caffeine intake because is that what that is? I like it, though. I I would like to match you right now. I was we could go have an espresso shot across the street. It's too late for that. I'm working on my sleep and self-care. How do we get back? How do we get back? Maybe this way. Can you imagine just being tapped the whole movie? No, it pissed me off so much. I have to fart. Can you take me to the bathroom?

39:14Can you make sure I get in there? Will you wipe my butt too? Oh my God, no. No, no, no. No, no. I will not. Also, let's say he does walk her to the bathroom. What if she needs 20 minutes in there? Sometimes you get in there and you don't know how long you're going to need. if her stomach is this upset where it is a medical emergency and he is neglecting her health I also it almost feels like she's just like purposely testing him like it feels it feels really odd like it I don't know I mean I guess maybe do people genuinely think like like this I don't think so I do think this is more of a test actually now that you say that because I mean, they're engaged at 21.

39:55Very young. You know, maybe this is their first relationship. Is she pregnant? I don't think so. Because like, if that were to be a factor, I wonder if that's plays into it where she's just like, if I need something, you know what I mean? I don't know. Because like that would change things a little bit for me. I'm not seeing anything in regards to her being pregnant in the initial comments. I'm not seeing an update on this. Interestingly enough, though, OP does respond to this comment that says, I'm leaning towards you're the asshole. In that particular moment in the theater where you are whispering and it's hard to communicate, it's very difficult to get her full story.

40:35She asked for your support multiple times, and you didn't understand why, but clearly she felt she needed you. In that specific moment, it doesn't matter whether or not her reasonings are legitimate. The result of your behavior is that you were incurious to her situation and wound up dismissing her concerns. See, I'm sorry, but like if roles were reversed and I was sitting there and my partner kept doing that to me being like, I got to fart, I got to fart, I got to use the bathroom. What do you mean? What do you mean I'm confused? They just told me what they need to do. Like what? Well, and I think too, like modern times, people have phones.

41:09Like if it's more than that, like, and you're in a theater, it's loud. I have heard from people, this is the loudest movie they've ever gone to. please if you're going to go see the Odyssey and you haven't seen it yet bring earplugs but you could type it out like hey I'm actually genuinely having a problem can you please escort me to the bathroom I'm scared I'm not going to come out I'm scared I'm going to pass out on the toilet I'm blah blah blah like whatever you're going through she if he could hear her say I got a fart multiple times he could have heard her say I'm scared I'm gonna pass out true the person does go on to say you prioritized a movie over her attempt to reach out to you shut up when she was distressed grow up they keep going they just they they go on they go on they go on this she found the post and this is her this is her that's literally my first thought yeah op does respond this is totally fair and i appreciate your response it didn't end up being an emergency or anything of that sort when i found out later on it's not uncommon for her to blow things out of proportion or make things sound way worse than they actually are.

42:10So it's difficult for me to tell if it's a true emergency or not. It's kind of like the boy who cried wolf. Regardless, yes, the simple response would be to walk her to the bathroom and figure out what's going on and then afterwards have that conversation. Thank you. And that is something I was going to say too, where it's like you spent three hours of her tapping you, interrupting, so much so to the point you even say, I couldn't focus on the movie. Yeah, you might as well just go do it. Just go do it. You might as well do it. But like at the same time, then I'd be pissed because I'm like, I didn't have to use the bathroom and I'm missing this movie.

42:42Like specifically depending on like where they are to. There is a theater in Orange County that like I know people that in weeks in advance could only get one seat, had to sit by themselves, not go with friends. It was front row. But like that's how sought after it was. So like my point is, is that it's like this was like the movie that like people have been really excited about. And so I understand why he didn't why he was just like thinking, OK, this is the last tap. This is the last time she's going to tell me she has to fart. And now I can focus on the movie. And every single time it happened, he probably was like, this is the last time.

43:18Yeah. But like but yeah, like would it have probably been better for him if he just like went with her? And I guess better for both of them. Sure. But like that's what you call enabling. So I don't know. I don't know how I feel about that. So we have an interesting plot twist here. Oh, my God. Stop. Don't tell me I've been talking shit in the wrong direction the entire time. No. So someone comments to OP. She did make a post and then deleted it when all of the commenters called her the asshole. That's not a plot twist. That is a plot. Validate. But so we go, we click. It's on Am I the Asshole.

43:58It is titled, Am I the asshole for being upset that my fiance wouldn't take my stomach issues seriously during a movie? The post has been deleted by the person that posted it. Top comment, you're the asshole. You are old enough to go to the toilet on your own. You're the asshole. You're the asshole. You're the asshole. Just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. But OP responds and says, Hold up. I had no clue. LOL. Well, that may be her, but to be completely honest, it seems like someone copied my text, put it in a chat GPT, and asked to write it from the other perspective. The quotes and everything are identical, so that may be the case.

44:38Thanks for letting me know, though. Bailey's chiming in. Says very clearly, chat GPT. AutoMod does have it pasted. I'll make sure that the post is linked if you guys want to go down and read it from the AutoMod, but it does basically read as the other side and a chat GPT prompt, honestly. Like, there's a line here from her. Emotionally, I felt abandoned. Everyone's entitled to their feelings. Would I, me, feel emotionally abandoned because I wouldn't get walked to the bathroom? No, you would tell Justin to go to the other side of the universe so that he didn't hear you to. No, I would fart right next to him.

45:23Okay, you guys are there now? Uh-huh. He's still pretending like— When did this happen? They just slip out. Okay. Wow, this is great. I got a lot of gas. Yeah, he still pretends like he's never heard one, though, so he can live in denial, but I'm letting him rip. Yeah. It's fine. Silent? No, there's noise. Okay. Mine are very unpredictable. They're oftentimes loud and deadly. Wow. We don't get the silent type. Wow. It's not fun for me. There is a couple other comments here, though. Someone does say the emergency was that she's trying to figure out if you'll show her you care to an irrational degree so that she can feel loved.

46:02I'll save you the suspense. People who have deep self-esteem issues never feel loved enough, no matter what you do. Someone responds, yes. This is her version of, would you still love me if I was a worm? She sounds like an insufferable child. not the asshole people are commenting major red flags op get out now um forget about this guy someone says what health issue requires him to accompany her to the restroom someone else not the asshole are you sure she's 21 and not two yeah no i think that like something like this and entering in a such a big commitment like a marriage i don't want to be that person that's just like jump ship but at the same time I think that I don't think you guys are ready for marriage right now or at least at least she's not because that's just that's really it's not a healthy way to unhealthy expectation out of another person in general like or even just the communication then after exactly yeah like you neglected a major health concern just say you felt unloved yeah emotionally abandoned exactly exactly say how you feel don't manipulate the situation into then again boy who cried wolf exactly but let's get into uh marriage and what happens when a marriage doesn't go well i wish we had an update we have to go to the next one okay nothing all right but it's new but that was odyssey just came out yeah you know right he's very active in the comments maybe we'll see it okay there's hope odyssey boy fret boy chime in yeah frat boy fart Oh, fart boy.

47:40Take a shot every time Morgan says fart. People are going to be wasted. Okay, this next one is coming from r slash when women refuse. It is titled, my friend is getting a divorce and her husband is pretending like he doesn't know what this means. So my friend Katie and her husband Alex were having a conversation about their cat. The cat is elderly and has health problems that are interfering with its life. They've taken it to the vet many times and tried different things, but nothing is working and the cat continues to have problems. During this conversation, Katie suggested that perhaps they need to think about putting the cat down.

48:20Well, Alex exploded. He started shouting at her and basically called her a horrible person and said a lot of other things, and it came out in all of his shouting that he had been having an affair. He claimed it had been going on for a couple of months, but katie subsequently learned alex had been cheating off and on with this woman for all caps 10 years wow so of course she was like you broke our marital vows and you've been lying to me for ages i cannot trust you i want a divorce and since the house is in my name that means you must move out ASAP. So she gave him a deadline to move out. A few days later, Alex still had not moved out.

49:08And Katie returned home from work to find that he had purchased a tomato plant. She was like, Alex, what the fuck? You are moving into an apartment. Why buy a plant? You aren't going to have a yard anymore. And he said, quote, I thought I could spend four days a week with affair partner and three days with you. Oh, that's a great idea. Why did I think of that? As if he didn't understand what a divorce was. What is happening? As if she would want joint custody of this lying unfaithful piece of shit. Alex finally did move out and in with his affair partner, but left all of his stuff behind. He refused to come get it until Katie threatened to find the most expensive moving company in the Chicago metro area and have all of his stuff sent to his affair partners and then send Alex the bill.

50:05He continues to call and text her and email her, begging her to take him back. He will not take no for an answer, and Katie is like, what part of I want a divorce, do you not understand? She's trying to force the divorce through as quickly as she can, which is very quickly, as they have no children or joint property. She found out about the affair in May, and the divorce is likely to be finalized before July is over with. And he still thinks if he begs her enough, she might take him back. He still acts like he can't understand why she's doing this. This grown ass man acting like he doesn't understand that actions have consequences.

50:52I just want to know, like, I want to have like a screen up and see what's going through his head. Yeah. Like, I just because like, I'm like, is he that delusional? Like, is there some underlying mental health issue that he's dealing with that's like making him truly not understand what's going on or does is he saying like if I just keep swimming just keep swimming yeah that like eventually if I just pretend like it's not happen happening and then she's gonna be like oh okay it's not happening she'll get over it yeah I'm gonna move that tomato plant in there she's gonna see I can garden really well yes yeah she's gonna fall back in love with me it's perfect perfect plan that's great brilliant and can we just talk about the fact that he wanted to split custody with his affair partner and his ex-wife.

51:38Joint custody. Joint custody. What did he say here? How many days? I'll spend four days a week with affair partner and three days with you. Why does she get four? Why does she get four? I was your actual wife. Yeah. Why am I not getting four? Yeah. And she's getting three. Well, because you decided to leave me, honey. It's just... She gets one more. You guys could fight for the extra day. No, he would literally use that and he'd hear that and he'd be like, you're fighting over me? That's so sweet. You must still really love me. Maybe we put a pause. Put a pin in the divorce. You love me. But still four days a week.

52:14Dude, don't you just want to go be with her? It's really interesting to me, people that have affairs, and it's like, okay, we're done. You're free. Go be with that person. And then they're like, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's why he had an affair for 10 years is because he wanted both. 10 years is... He wanted both. that's the thing is like I think that like there's different types of affairs you know there's an exit affair where it's like the marriage really is not working out they all of a sudden find somebody else that's making them feel you know whatever and then they you know run off and to that partner but like an affair for 10 years like that's got to be they want them both they genuinely have your cake eat it too and honestly I mean you probably get to year three and you're like I've been getting away with it so far.

52:59And then as the years goes on. It becomes normalized. Five. He doesn't even see anything wrong with it because it's been that ingrained in the way that he operates. Ten years, a decade. It's a long time to play two different roles. Exhausting. Yeah. I can't fathom it. I can't fathom the hurt that that would cause. And I would never want to hurt someone like that. Like, I cannot fathom that level of disrespect. I don't think, I feel like, I mean, there's obviously people who don't give a shit that it, like, hurts people. But I feel like some people just, like, they don't think of it as hurtful, you know?

53:38Yeah. And I could see some of this being maybe, like, weaponized incompetence where it's like, I don't know what divorce is. Yeah, exactly. It's like just him trying to, like, play dumb so it doesn't happen. I mean we see that with silly things about I don't know how to the I don't know how to do the dishes I don't know how to do laundry and you just kind of slide by I have someone um in my life that is going through a divorce right now and her ex is basically just like having these unrealistic demands of like well you owe me this and well you got that when we were married and so I should get have of that and it's it's silly things like the value of their car and just like really unrealistic things and so wait what do you mean the value of their car well it's like you got this nice car while we were together like I don't get that car so you should pay me for half of it like diabolical crazy things and it's like it I don't want to get into the details too much so they're like I don't want them yeah right identified but they told me I can talk about it I'll tell you I'll tell you offline.

54:43But this person is like asking for unrealistic things, asking for half of stock values that she's gotten, like crazy stuff. And he's moving in with his new girlfriend. And it's like, I kind of told her, I was like, just wait. I go, he's going to want to propose to her. She's going to want him to not be married anymore. Just wait. I go, you don't have to bargain with the terrorist like just wait it out yeah because he's gonna be motivated eventually and he's gonna want to sign yeah and that's like kind of this it's just like let him play dumb proceed as you can try to get the divorce you know whatever but like don't appease him see stuff like this is like i'm like do i want to get married you'll find the right person and you're like yeah no i'm like why why can't we just symbolically get married yeah i'm like i don't have the party why do i have to have the legalities when like i hear stuff like this that i'm like i feel like if i'm going through something super emotionally heightened then the idea of having to like delegate all of these other finances and things like that and having them be like i don't know i feel like that just sounds so stressful that's also what prenups are for.

56:02Have everything very clearly defined. Your exit plan is in place. And not because you're predicting a divorce, but because the state already has an exit plan predetermined for you if you don't have a prenup. We do have some comments to get into. People just really like chiming in for support. Someone says, quote, she broke up with me out of nowhere for no reason. I hate people like that. That statement is always a red flag. Absolutely no self-awareness or ability to do some self-reflecting. OP responds, Katie has put the whole thing on public social media and telling everyone she knows so all of their friends know exactly why they are getting a divorce and Alex can't pretend to be a victim.

56:44Poor Alex. I wish I saw this on my social media. If I was just clicking one day and seeing someone blast Asked their partner. We have seen that. Who? One of your exes. Oh, God, he's always so problematic. Next comment we've got here. Thank goodness he told her, but I am sad about the cat. Letting our fur babies go when it's their time is hard but right. And Opie responds, Alex abandoned the cat. He has shown no interest in it since the affair came out, didn't take it with him, and refuses to contribute to the vet bills. Hmm. So it wasn't really about the cat. Mm-mm. Yeah, Alex sounds really shitty.

57:31I just peeked at OP's account. We don't have any updates. They are very active on Reddit, though. Very involved in kind of random and obscure subreddits like r slash medical gore. Not getting into that for us today. No, thank you. r slash Wikipedia. A lot of posts. They're very, very, very active. I'm going to be honest. I don't think if I have ever in my life seen this much karma on someone's account. Wow. So username is cat poot in my shoe, but going by the name Megan on here and the bio is I run the Charlie Project. Look it up. And I post medical case reports, history, et cetera here. If you like my content and want to support it, join my Patreon or tip me.

58:20She has 4.8 million karma points. Wow. 64 ,000 different contributions. What? Eight year Reddit account. A lot of awards. Again, I don't know if I've ever seen this many awards on an account. What does that mean? Like, what does that mean? So every time like you post something, if people upvote, you get a karma point. If people like a comment you posted and they click upvote you get a karma point so she has again but almost 4.8 million everything that she posts though like she's getting love for it most of it what is she posting that's like getting that much love like that stuff like this this post that i just read 2.6k so she's just like posting other people's business too because i'm like for someone to have that much i'm like are you like is it your life story and you're just like giving updates and it's always that crazy I'm going to be honest, this seems like her job.

59:16Yeah. So looking at the Charlie Project, I have actually heard about the Charlie Project thanks to the true crime work and stuff I've been working on. The Charlie Project profiles over 17 ,000 cold cases, missing people mainly from the United States. It doesn't actively investigate. It is merely a publicity vehicle for missing people who are often neglected by the press and forgotten all too soon. And I mean, she's saying that she runs it. This is a full time job. Yeah. So she's posting these updates on Reddit. She's probably getting karma from that. So really, really cool OP. I'm really, I'm happy we came across her.

59:51I'm very curious. This is going to be like a little deep dive I do on Patreon. I'm going to go through some of her posts. I have food in my shoe. I just love how like you guys were so unfazed by like this username. Like it was just like. Yeah. Yeah. That's the usual. It's really, it's really interesting. She also does a Patreon, Charlie Project Patreon and does a missing person of the week, which is what I started doing over on Clues as well. So it's just, it's really, she's doing a lot of amazing, amazing work. So I'm definitely going to do a little deep dive on her account and some other threads she's posting.

1:00:25I know I'm overdue for a true crime episode on this show and I really want to do highlight some cold cases that are maybe close to being solved because there are a lot of them and Reddit has solved cold cases from the internet sleuths, the internet detectives. So this episode is brought to you by Cash App. I myself have fallen for a scam, thought I was getting a really good deal on tickets, and bam, I sent the money and I didn't get my tickets. There's so many common scams these days and finding all the red flags can be hard. That is where Cash App comes in. Keeping your money safe from fraud deserves to be a priority and Cash App treats it that way.

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1:01:35Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Visit cashapp.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. This episode is brought to you by Revolve. My summer has been jam-packed with moments where I just want to look cute. And the best way to do it is to find a good fit, an outfit that makes you feel confident, that feels on trend or reflects your unique style. And Revolve is my go-to place to find those fits. I just went to Europe and basically every single one of my outfits was from Revolve. and I've never, never been complimented more. So whether it's a big night out, a wedding, a summer trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, Revolve always has it.

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1:02:57It can unlock better rates, more options, and real savings. So whether you're moving, leasing a car, or upgrading your cards, it feels good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much on your plate, you can count on Credit Karma for less craziness and more credit. I'm gonna put that on our radar, but moving along to this next one. Okay, Lauren, I really loved that intro you did for our friend. Why don't you introduce who's here now? Can we just keep the one that I did? I felt like it was really natural and beautiful. DC's in the host. here we go guys this has been a big request from all of you out there i think since we started really talking about direct caterpillar and then we did the theme that was literally all direct caterpillar stories and i think ever since then everyone has been like get direct caterpillar on and guess what we got him we have matt joining us today

1:03:58glad to be here i'm so excited how long have you been on reddit because the direct caterpillar account is four years old now but like how long have you been on reddit and kind of doing this um ironically i was on reddit years prior i had an account didn't really do anything with it but this account is really the account that I have done everything with. It is so crazy. Four years. Yeah. Three years with the sub. It's amazing. Like looking at your account, so you have 5 ,778 ,086 karma, 6 ,794 contributions, 59 different achievements, 11 trophies. I mean, you're decorated. You've got the credentials.

1:04:53You know, over time, it's built up. But I always look for the weird stories, the ones that are just a little bit different, because you get tired of just the same old... I mean, how many times can you do a cheating story or an open marriage story? I'm with you. Yeah, I completely agree. That's why I love just going to your account. I'm like, you always find the best ones. Did you know? Sorry. You go ahead. Oh, I was just curious. Did you know two hot takes at all? Or was, I mean, I'm just so curious. Like how, yeah. When Morgan reached out to you, did you already know who two hot takes were? Yeah.

1:05:36What did you think when I messaged you? First, I knew you subverted prior because I did get a lot of stories from yourself. Yeah. Very good stuff. The day you reached out was probably the weirdest message I ever received. And I received some weird messages. Oh, man. I love how this is described. Took me a second to kind of figure out, okay. You're like, wait, you want to make an entire theme about me? It was a little bit weird. and we had a little bit of a chuckle going, you know, behind the scenes. But yeah. Oh my God. That's so funny. I was hoping you were going to be like, Morgan's my hero.

1:06:25I was so excited. Absolutely not. Oh my God. That's so great. I'm tearing up. This is so funny. The other question I had, and Bailey too, especially, because like Bailey's been finding Reddit stories now for years and we're so curious about the karma and like what do you do with the karma can you cash it out you don't do anything with it it's worth nothing what you can't do anything with it you literally have been doing this for four years just just for fun just just for the love of the game really love of the game oh my god just trying to find the hard to find ones the ones that you can't really find anywhere.

1:07:10It's almost for you. Does it feel like you're like metal detecting or rock collecting? It's like a puzzle solving thing. Yeah, that is so cool. Because I found a great post and then I come across an update and it's like gone. So it can take months just to find it. Wow. That's amazing. What was that site that you used to use? The Wayback. Yeah, the Wayback. Wayback Machine. Yeah. And that doesn't exist anymore? Oh, no. I have about 18 sources to find posts, and it's just going from one to another. I just had one. I found a post and an update, 12 years old, and it was great. Oh, my gosh. I can't remember where the hell it was.

1:07:55You'll find it. You'll get it back. I'm trying to find it again. I'm going to the same source. I've been going for like days. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Well, this first one I'm going to read for you is one you found a couple of years ago. And it's coming from Best of No Updates, which is my favorite sub that you basically run. And I know a lot of people listening are like, no, give me an update. We'll get there, guys. Don't worry. But this one, I'm hoping maybe we'll get it out there for you. And then they'll come back and give you an update. So this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole for making our guests participate in our puppet-themed wedding?

1:08:35My fiancé, 26 female, and I, 27 male, met at college. We were in our school's performing arts program and met in a puppetry class. In the class, we designed our own puppets. Mine, named Hat Boy, and my fiancé's, Daisy, she's better with names, were what we initially used to talk to each other and then flirt in class. We fell in love, and in a way, we've considered Hat Boy and Daisy in love as well. Years after graduating, we still use Hat Boy and Daisy both at home and at our local but fairly prominent theater where we perform puppet shows with high-end, Muppet-style puppets. While planning our wedding, we realized we wanted Hat Boy and Daisy to be a part of the ceremony.

1:09:22They've been with us since the beginning, and it just felt right. We also invited our entire troupe of puppeteers from the theater and got the idea that we should have our wedding completely officiated by puppets, and that our wedding parties would be made up of puppets with our closest puppeteer friends. We figure it'll make for incredible pictures. Here's where we aren't sure if we're the assholes or not. We are insisting that all of our guests also participate and use puppets. In lieu of gifts, we've asked everyone to purchase high quality, but not nearly the quality of professional puppets, to have for puppets to use during our wedding.

1:10:07We took the guesswork out of it and directed them to several vendors, some of who offer some really cool options. Everyone could realistically expect to spend$150 to$500, depending on what sort of details and whatnot that they wanted. Lost me. We also want everyone to wear their puppets during the entire wedding and reception. All the puppets we're suggesting can be mounted on and controlled with one hand. The puppets are meant to be guests at the wedding in the same way all of our human guests are there as well. Well, let's just say there are a lot of people not happy. Both of our parents, my wife's sister, and my family members on both sides have complained that this is completely unreasonable.

1:11:00They're concerned about how much they're going to be able to eat and drink. How are they going to dance? You don't need hands to dance, so I don't know where that complaint came from. We, of course, don't expect people to have their puppet on their hand while in the bathroom, but everywhere else we'd really like to insist on it. We also made sure that our hors d 'oeuvres are all finger food. There will be plenty of cocktail tables so people can put their drink down. We even made sure that all of the food for the dinner itself is portioned so that it can be eaten in bite sizes just with a fork without having to use a knife.

1:11:37You guys are so weird. we really think this would make for a special day we only get to do it once and think it will be an event that all of our guests will remember for a lifetime we have a hard time believing that once there they wouldn't have a blast so reddit are we the asshole for making what we think is a silly but harmless and reasonable request for our one special day thanks for reading this was a find what do you what are your thoughts on this matt i actually love it because it's like an avenue q wedding you know i mean what is avenue q wow you don't remember that i'm looking it up i actually have an uncle who is a professional puppeteer his name is steve and so he has a lot of these puppets and I'm gonna have to reach out and be like were you involved in Avenue Q but yeah it is looking at pictures of Avenue Q it is kind of giving that vibe for sure how I just imagined this wedding being like the most weirdest wedding ever I agree I I'm curious when you say that you like this like do you you like the idea of it as in it'd be fun to have a puppet wedding because like I don't I I agree like that's kind of that's kind of a vibe um well I like the idea of participating but not having a Muppet themed wedding yeah yeah it wouldn't be your your choice for a wedding theme no so I agree I think it would it honestly would be hilarious and if that's really important to them it'd be it'd be great but my problem is with weddings is like when people start to get too controlling of other people wanting them to do or be or purchase certain things like I you know when you have a wedding I think really it should be about having people just gather together and so when it gets kind of to that point where yeah and that's the thing too is like 150 to 500 that's that's insane like I mean especially for like each one of your guests like to expect that from something that they're not gonna use again likely for most of them probably don't have the same type of affinity for this topic.

1:13:59And the other thing too, I was talking about with somebody is that when people buy people wedding gifts, it's like, even though they're still giving the gift to somebody else, it's like, they like to be able to pick out what they're spending their money to give somebody else. Like that's something that I've heard a lot of people kind of complain about. I totally understand like having a honeymoon fund. That's something that I would put up on there too for a wedding. But like, I've heard people be like, that's all they did. And I really wanted to get them like something, you know, and they said no gifts.

1:14:29And I had this idea that I wanted for them. And so it's like people do like to give gifts in a way that's from their heart. So that's where I have a problem with this. And then just the like wearing it the entire time, that's too controlling. But like the concept itself is fun if they provided the puppets and if they said they could take them off when they want to. Yeah. I mean, that's what makes it, You know, just a little bit too much. Exactly. Too much is just perfect. And I do agree. Like, some people don't even gift$150 to someone. And when the puppets are starting at that price, it's a little steep.

1:15:11I did peek at eBay. And I'm like, I wonder what eBay has for puppets. You can get some pretty decent puppets on eBay for$16.50,$8. bucks. So I think if you didn't set that, you need to go to these vendors. I think it could go over. It could go over well. Yeah. But the question I'm wondering is what happens to the puppets after the wedding? That's a good question. Do you get to keep them? Yeah. Because they did say like, in lieu of wedding gifts, we want them to buy these puppets. So that is a really good question of like, is the couple then keeping all of these? Because like for me, I don't even know if I'd want a puppet in my house.

1:15:58No. I'd be too afraid it'd come alive at night. I know. I know. Looking at eBay, there's actual ventriloquist dolls. No. No, thank you. I saw that one movie where the guy was killed and he was actually used as a ventriloquist. Oh God. Did anyone see that movie? No. Yes, I did. Thank you, Matt. Thank you. I love that movie. What is it called? Oh, um, oh, it's called, uh, Speak, Son, um, oh, um. I know I can picture the actor. That way, the dead silence. Dead silence, yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, that movie was crazy. Crazy. The follow-up was creepy. It really was. So top comment on the original post, you're the asshole.

1:16:46You're not like bad people, but Jesus Christ, I'd never want to associate with y 'all ever again. I'm exhausted and infuriated reading this. Your quirky nonsense is going to keep people away. Would you? Yeah. Would you go? Yeah. Yeah. Would you just buy the cheapest puppet? Yeah. Matt, you said you're down for it. All I'm down for is the same. I just go. I would obviously complain about it to the rest of the guests. Like, how crazy is this? But then I'd be like, this is hilarious and iconic. There's some things in life that you just do for the plot. Exactly. I just feel like I just would. But like, I also I think sometimes, too, for people when they're going to a wedding, like you don't really know what's going on in their lives at that time.

1:17:33And if they're traveling and booking like the hotels and everything that they're doing, maybe they're bringing their kids, finding babysitters. it just feels like another thing to like ask of everyone to have to have this like handcrafted like specific it just feels like kind of it does feel like it's asking for a bit much there's a comment here on matt's post on best of no updates where someone says would be the easiest rsvp no out of any wedding invite i've ever gotten i'm like i think people need to be a little more open-minded. It could be fun. Oh, it could definitely be fun. I'd be out there having conversations through the Muppet.

1:18:14Yeah. I mean, you have to go all out on this thing. Oh, yeah. The Muppet needs a drink as well. Oh, two? One for me and one for this guy here. You know? I just love how much Matt loves this. Just like a recap on my favorite moments of Matt so far is Morgan messaging him weird puppet wedding not weird oh man it's great okay well let's get into the second story also again from direct caterpillar on best of redditor updates originally posted to r slash legal advice and this one is titled Last month, a friend began to cross a flooded river in his car with me in it. I jumped out. Now I have a letter from his lawyer asking for damages.

1:19:10Early in November, we went to pick up car parts after work that my friend, who I'll call Aaron, because his name's Aaron and I think he's being an idiot, had bought on eBay. We had to go through some back roads to get to the property and pick it up, and all was well. It had been raining for a part of the day, but really picked up when we were loading the parts, and we got to a causeway that we'd passed only an hour before, but it was now covered in what looked like half a meter of water, and we stopped. I'd been navigating and knew that we could back up and take another, much longer route, even though the highway was just a bit on the other side of this causeway.

1:19:50There was no way I'd go through the water, as it looked, but because I'd been caught on a causeway 20 years ago in less water and had my car pushed off into the river, I didn't want to risk it. I didn't lose that car, but it's one of the scariest moments of my life. I said we had to turn back and could take a different road 10 kilometers around, but that would take us via a bridge on the same river. Aaron decided to push on and started moving and I panicked and I got straight out of the car. It was far more water than I'd had to go through when I nearly lost my car and life previously. I got out well before the water though, so I didn't let water in the car, by the way.

1:20:38Aaron didn't even get halfway across and the water pushed his car off the side, rolled it completely over, and ended upright on the bank 50 meters downstream. Wow. He was extremely lucky not to drown. And I ran down and helped him out. Immediately, he was aggressive and combative because he said with my weight in the car, he'd have made it across. Oh my God. Admittedly, I'm 130 kilograms, but his car is a 1650 kilogram Commodore Wagon with a couple hundred kilograms of eBay parts in the back. So it's not like I would have made much of a difference. That's so frustrating. We phoned for help and the river went down within an hour and made it across the causeway by foot.

1:21:29We haven't spoken since and he's avoided me in places we usually go. But on Friday, I received a letter from a lawyer that I know is real in our town, but it sounds like it was written by my friend. It's asking for$50 ,000 for the car and personal damages Because I made the car unsafe by getting out This guy's an idiot It was a 1997 Commodore Maybe worth$1 ,500 on a good day Someone reassure me that it's not up to me to sit in someone's car When they're doing something dumb No, you're very correct So There's that Oh my god What did you think when you found this one? I thought that the friend was an idiot.

1:22:18I'd agree with you. Genuinely. I don't think it would help either, right? It wouldn't. No. Like, there's no way. Water is just going to push your car. It doesn't matter how much weight you have in it. It's just going to move. Yeah. No, that's so scary. And, like, imagine it rolled and, like, you're not able to get out. like does he have a window breaker in his car i do i do have one of those little like window breakers for emergency everyone everyone should have one i do too i got i was getting like slammed with ads non-stop on tiktok and i was like all right guys they convinced you like bought like five they convinced you so matt put some relevant comments here someone says so what I gather from this friend wants to cross river washed road you say it's a bad idea he says nah mate I'm doing it you get out at fear for your own safety friend drives in and car washes away your friend blames you because 130 kilograms could have saved it yeah that sounds like a crock of shit I don't think you are liable for shit however I would consult an attorney for legal advice pertaining to this situation.

1:23:32You were in imminent danger and acted on it by ensuring your own safety. There's nothing wrong with that. However, do not repost responses here and show him what people say to you. You could be liable for reasons or even be incriminated. Wait, for what reasons? They don't say. That's what they say. You could be liable for reasons. What? Unknown to me? I have no clue. I also, what do you guys think about this? Because like, I feel very positive that the friend wrote this and then put the name of the lawyer on the letter because it just doesn't sound like this is something that a lawyer would write yeah um and also because he said it sounded like his friend's writing so that even more so so it's like he could literally counter sue his friend because that's like that's very illegal to do that to use the lawyer could sue him for misrepresenting as the lawyer right right right yeah yeah I guess for me I'd almost want to reach out to that lawyer and be like hey yeah I got this letter from you is this is this real it's extremely illegal to do that and even if it's not the like an actual name of a lawyer to do like a fake lawyer and put on and send a letter that's also very illegal so um your friend's a moron and then the other thing too is I don't I think it's a safety hazard to be friends with people that are that stupid so I would agree with that I would agree I should probably cut that one off so OP does respond to a few comments basically responding to the one I read too and just saying yep that's what happened I got carried away in a moment of salivating over internet justice I won't say anything to him about this post.

1:25:22And then someone says, your, parentheses, probably ex-friend is an idiot. Hasn't he seen the, if it's flooded, forget it adverts the blood police put out every time there's a decent amount of rain? And I really, I can't even imagine like seeing this flooded over riverway and like convincing myself to drive through it. Like, can you even would you even like how much how no trust me i've seen idiots try to drive through that stuff and it's amazing how many get stuck it's it's not worth it no yeah because you're on the east coast right yeah or okay at least four four seasons so you've had flash floods that you know will cause that and i've seen it really i don't like we don't have many causeways in like la or minnesota like I feel like it feels like a Florida thing, too, like kind of down in the south.

1:26:23I'm not sure. Yeah, I don't know. I'm Googling what a causeway is. I need pictures. I know. I didn't want to say it after I'm like dishing on this guy being a moron. And then I'm like, what's a causeway? It's a big word. So it looks like this. It's basically a road in between like bodies of water. Yeah. And then obviously if it floods, then it's like. It's 100. Yeah. I did not know that's what those were called. Yeah. So then you're like, you're just, that's nuts. That makes it even crazier. Yeah. Well, and this sounds like it was the middle of nowhere, you guys. Like, these are back roads. Like, that's a nice causeway with, like, pavement.

1:27:02This doesn't sound like that. And when I was living in Palm Springs, we did have, like, kind of, I guess, like, riverbeds. Like, you would drive through the road, but there would be, like, old dried up riverbeds on either side. and when it would downpour there, those would flood up finally. But like, I never would have driven through it. Like they actually closed them there. So this is crazy to me, but let's get into the update and see how this all turns out. So update. I went to a lawyer my parents had used a few years ago and that they recommended. She took one look at that letter from my friend Erin's lawyers and she said she has concerns about it and that she would respond.

1:27:46She contacted his lawyer and my lawyer mailed me to tell me Aaron's lawyers aren't his lawyers at all. Whoa, shocker. But to contact her if I heard more, otherwise no need for any more action. Aaron had apparently faked up the letter and admitted as much to me yesterday when he finally decided to talk to me. He wants me to retract my complaint to his lawyers about him using their letterhead. I hadn't complained to them myself, so I did the time-honored thing and told him to go pound sand, but it might have rhymed with go eat a bag of dicks.

1:28:28So it sounds like that lawyer did reach out to him to be like, hey buddy, not good, not okay. He should tell him to go drive over another flooded causeway. No, Lord. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Bad. I mean, he said eat a bag of dicks. I just thought this one would be a little more whatever. Anyway, he already lost one Commodore. Yeah. No, I don't. I don't actually not actually recommending it. Just, you know, play on words, I guess. This is a satisfying update, though. I appreciate you finding this because this is a very, very satisfying update. Yeah. how long does it take you to find it? You said sometimes it takes months.

1:29:11I've had one that took maybe two years to find. Oh my God. Do you remember what story it was? Yeah, it was, uh, it was a woman wrote in that her boyfriend only wears one shirt. Uh, the beef. Where's the beef? I read, where's the beef? Two years to find that one. I heard, heard about it. I said, I got to read this. Wait, I don't think I had an update when I read it There is no update I looked but it took two years to find the original Oh my gosh Yeah I just read that on my episode with The basement yard guys Oh yeah Yeah they loved it You guys give me a spark notes I want to know what it is Matt you want to do it Yeah there's this Woman goes to Relationships and she wants to know If something's weird how every date she's gone on with her boyfriend, he wears the same exact shirt.

1:30:09Where's the beef from Wendy's? So it gets better when she goes to his place and she asks him about it. He's got about, what was it? 20 shirts of the same shirt, the same color. He's a cartoon character. And she wanted to know, is this real? Is this normal? Yeah. Everybody said no. Everyone's like, no. It's a little odd. I really wish we had an update on that. I really wish. Oh, my God. I know. I got to make – I don't know if I ever made a social video for it. I'll make a social video. Maybe again. She's out there. But I did end up ordering some Wears the Beef shirts, and I gifted it to the guys.

1:30:48Oh, that's awesome. So it was really good. That's such a good one. But I just have to say thank you because you make my life, my job, so much easier. I also messaged Matt a couple weeks ago now. and I was like, hey, do you remember this story? It was kind of like this, this, this and you responded back so quick and you're like, I'm on it. Like, let me see. I love it. Within 20 minutes, he sent me the post. Wow. And I'm like, you're just, you're so good and I appreciate you so much. So thank you for coming on and helping us tackle these stories. Thank you for having me on. I really enjoyed this.

1:31:26I know, maybe round two, we'll give you a full episode. Yeah, let's go for it. Okay, good. This is a good test run to make sure you liked it. So I'm really glad you feel good because this was so fun for us. I know. I want to, I'm really... Baby steps. I was going to ask because I know that you were like a little bit nervous about this. How does it feel taking it from the keyboard to the mic? I'm honestly, it's, I'm not as nervous as when it started. I know it's not that bad. It's a little bit better. You know, I know maybe next time I might be a little bit better because this was the first time I've ever done anything like this.

1:32:02First rodeo, yeah. And you did great. You did great. And natural. Thank you. Yeah, this was really fun. I really enjoyed it and everybody was really great on it. Thank you. Yay. Yay. Thank you. Okay, guys. What did he, did we lose him? Matt, are you still there? No, I'm here. Okay. I was like, damn. I just like. I know, the screen. And this episode is brought to you by Billy. I don't know about you guys, but I get a little lazy in the winter. I'm in hibernation mode and I grow out my leg hair a little bit, but it's getting warmer and now I'm excited for that first shave of the season. And if you are, then you got to get the Billy razor in your life.

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1:34:07And with upgraded hardware, play at home or on the go, whenever the mood hits. Learn more at Nintendo.com slash Nintendo Switch 2. Games and systems sold separately. Some Nintendo Switch games may not be supported or fully compatible with Nintendo Switch 2. Games rated E for everyone. That blocked. No, but you did so good. This is coming from our very own 2 Outtakes subreddit. Hey, family. Hey, guys. It is titled, Advice Needed. Should I give back the office of my coworker that came back from maternity leave? Probably. Hi, I'm a longtime listener of Two Out Takes. Love the podcast. Hope to have some of y 'all's help.

1:34:52Thank you. So I, 23 female, Chloe, I'm a new grad and I've been working in an accounting firm for one year, my first job as a newer grad. And I took the office of my 30 female coworker, let's call her Julia, that was on maternity leave. Back in 2025, I was at the end of my school year and was dropping off some resumes. By chance, Julia was due to go on maternity leave in late July 2025. So I started in late June. I was following Julia everywhere. She showed me everything. When it was time for her to leave, I took her office, making it my first office. Months passed by and I decided to decorate it.

1:35:31I brought some plants. I put up my diplomas, put up a huge mirror, LED lights under the cabinets. I painted all of the walls because it was a bit overdue. Wait, what? What? All with the approval of my two bosses, Mike and George. It was now my office. Now the problem is that Julia's back. One of my bosses, Mike, assured me that I would stay in my office, that office, and that Julia knew that she had to take another office because she left. He repeated this message to her multiple times, even months before she returned. He made it very clear that whoever left their office would lose it. The first day back, Julia came into my office and said, oh wow, I'm going to come and get ready in my ex-office every day with this nice mirror you have in my old office.

1:36:27And, ah, I miss my office. Oops, I mean my old office, with this arrogant tone. She seems to think she's better than everyone else because she had a higher position in another country and is now a bit lower here in Canada. She always has something to say and wants to be liked by everyone, especially the bosses. Julia's been complaining to George, the other boss, about her new office. The other office has smaller windows, but is still very big and is more secluded with a little hallway and is more cramped, but in a way that you still have a lot of space. It's a bit weird, but has charm. George says the person with the most years at the company gets priority, which is Julia.

1:37:13Mike shared everything with me today and wants us to find a solution. I understand she just wants her old office back. On one hand, I want to give it to her since she's returned, but I know she'll constantly remind me if I do in an arrogant way. On the other hand, I'd love to keep it, but I'd be very uncomfortable working next to her. I don't want to leave my office that I literally rebuilt and upgraded for my comfort just so she can benefit from it. I also thought of just taking everything and transferring it to the other office myself. I want to be the bigger person and not fight over a silly thing like a workspace.

1:37:51However, I would have been more receptive if Julie had come to me directly and asked or told me nicely that she was uncomfortable in her new office. I find it disrespectful that she went behind my back. Honestly, I don't want to work there anymore because of the environment she brings. I feel undervalued and not taken seriously. I don't know if I'm overreacting, but I'm torn. What should I do? Give her office back or keep it? Thank you, Chloe. Edit to add, julia knew she would not have her office back from the day she left like i can't like as a like recent grad my job as a corporate woman was to not this i don't know i don't know just not this it's just maybe just not rock the boat so much yeah it's like it's and i would have like i just can't even especially like i mean i guess if they said hey when you leave like you won't get your office back like yeah I guess if they made it clear and she agreed to that that does change the whole story but I also think like I don't know like even like in the job I work now like people are very particular about their offices it's not like you can just take somebody's office who's on maternity leave and then like make it into your own little home and paint the walls and like grow bushes in there beautiful plants whatever but like and then just be like oh sorry sucks to suck like and I do think that you know she mentioned like oh she might she thinks she's better than us I guess I don't know her attitude and I know maybe it's like maybe it's pretty rough that can happen and that's truly she could be miserable she could yeah she could be like I don't know she could be pretty rough but I do think that there's a hierarchy and it doesn't seem to be like that it's like computing to you at all that like there's when somebody puts in the amount of work that they do in a corporate job and climb the corporate ladder it's like you would hope that there is the you know if you have a baby and you come back like you'd hope that there's some respect for all of the work that you've put in versus somebody who's just starting off like because again like when I was fresh out of college and in my corporate job like my job was to respect the people who were coaching me and teaching me and giving me a job there and like helping me learn how I can be like a good employee exactly and so I think that like I don't know unless this is like missing like a bunch of like a contact yeah a lot more context than it than it feels like you didn't have to paint the spot like you decided to paint the spot like you put in the effort to do that and that wasn't like a required thing that you had to do and now you have to give it up and honestly even if it was like if I was 22 and like right at a college my boss was like paint my office I'd be like say no more buying that paint no I would you would I would yeah I would I was so bright eye bushy tail ready to work ready to impress like ready to please them and like I don't know like maybe that's not the thing anymore no but it was when I was and honestly like I'm looking at OP and I'm like I am very I'm very impressed by your ability to stand your ground and like kind of steadfast in your beliefs because if this were me back when I was 23, honestly, maybe today at 32, like I wouldn't be able to rock the boat and I would have people pleased my way back down the hallway to the tiny office.

1:41:18You know, and like maybe I'm just... And maybe that's wrong. I don't know. And maybe my reaction is off of jealousy that I didn't have that type of way of advocating for myself whenever I was young. You bring up a lot of really interesting points though yeah and i think one of them is the fact that maternity leave right this wasn't she quit it feels like discrimination in a way it does like it just feels weird to me it does and it does feel almost like an hr problem that like hr could get involved because i think like obviously pregnancy maternity leave like you're in a different protected class not an HR expert I know we got him out there hop in the comments but this was a planned break it's not she quit it is a planned maternity leave she's not doing this break for fun she's pushing out a baby taking time to bond with baby like again like there's this expectation she's coming back so why even you know why even put this effort in the office why paint the walls why bring the plants if you have it like she's coming back and I get the boss was like said like Julie Julia knew yeah the day she left she wouldn't have her office back and that's the part that is tripping me up because if that was something that was reiterated to me even as a young person because again it sounds like that's the hierarchy yeah that's that's Julia's boss right yeah who said that so like that's a company owner right so that does like that would be confusing and then like when you're being told that then like you're like wait no I deserve that so I do I do see where OP is coming from because at the same time like if you're an like a junior employee like you're new grad first job Julia has years of experience she's probably more involved like you're an associate she's a partner she painted the she painted it so she deserves it someone reimburse OP here I love you OP yeah this is tough sisterly love right now yes we love you but like truly it's just like do not rock the boat like julia could actually be one of your biggest allies as a woman in this field with you this could be your mentor like you're a new grad this is a part of the process it is a part of your dues yeah and this is any job whether it's lawyer ot blah blah blah blah like does it feel shitty that you painted yes but you didn't have to do that knowing Julia was coming back on maternity leave.

1:43:52I get you're getting very mixed signals from the two owners. Right, which is one is saying Julia is a priority. She wants her office back and should get her office back. One is saying, no, you keep it. It's your office. Love you, girl. It's mixed signals. Obviously, everyone needs to come to terms with this. If this were me, how I would proceed going forward, I'd give her the office back. Let me go on a reality show during lunch or midday, have my snack cooler, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'd say, hey, you know, if you bought the paint with your own money, hey, can you reimburse me for the paint then?

1:44:29And yeah, take your mirror, take your plants, take all the other shit you put in there. Definitely. Because on the flip side, that's still your stuff. I do want to say like on the flip side, scrape the paint off. Oh yeah. I'd actually, I am so, so petty that I would repaint it back to the color it was. It wouldn't be a cute color that I picked. It'd go back to millennial gray. But I will also say I could see a side of this that Julia also knew she wasn't going to get the desk back, but then came in and saw all these nice modifications and is like, I love what you did with the place. I'm going to try to get this back now.

1:45:06I don't think so because I mean, maybe this is just a me thing. Okay. But like, I would not care about the paint and that's the reality. She's not going to keep all of the plants. I feel like OP was like, I kind of just want to move everything over. Almost like OP was going to leave the mirror and the plants. Do not leave your stuff there. Obviously bring your stuff. What do you mean? Leave that thing an empty shell. Yeah, I mean, that's your stuff. You're going to bring that. But like, yeah, I don't. So that's what makes me think, I think she just wanted the office. I think she just likes the office.

1:45:38Clearly a hot commodity. better view not down a cramped hallway I mean OP was like trying to make the other one sound nice but like otherwise OP would have went to the other office that wasn't occupied you know this office is giving prime central where everyone says hi the fact that she went on maternity leave and she like jumped to it it's like yeah it sounds like it is an office that is better yeah and I just think at the end of the day like that is something that you know you do have to you have to pay your dues a little bit when you're in the corporate world like you really you gotta to grind it out.

1:46:09And like, this is to be expected as a new grad. Like you're saying new grad first job, like you said it multiple times. This is like, so it does come with a little of the territory. And Hey, if you feel you're undervalued and you can get a better job with maybe more pay, do it then. Like that could be a fun, go to the next ship. Or maybe, maybe the problem with the job is that you're getting two different things that are making, making you feel uncomfortable. Like you have two different owners that are saying opposite things and it's making it so that like the company is not a well-oiled machine like yeah you know like it's like who do you listen to that yeah you want the consistency because otherwise it doesn't feel good naturally so i think if that's if you want to find another job where like the leadership is more aligned and that would be better for your yeah what is it called i'm like trying to think of like your constitution pledge allegiance to the flag no no no like have you never heard like your personal constitution i probably but i was i was looking for the code you live by okay what makes you feel good okay i'll keep using that one like yeah yeah so let's get into some comments though see what everyone else is feeling out because again this is just this is just your two big sisters so top comment feeling narwhal 91 61 one.

1:47:31I'm siding with Julia on this one. It's messed up that she would lose her office for going on maternity leave. That being said, you definitely take all of your things and decorations with you. She gets the space, not your stuff. Next comment down, and actually losing her office because she went on maternity leave would be misogynistic as hell and possibly illegal. Next one down, yeah definitely sounds like this company has opened themselves up to a lawsuit for discrimination someone responds that's stupid no company would put anyone's needs over leaving an unoccupied space just because they are lucky the offices even exist keep that and they'll find a new meeting room and both of them work in a QB that got downloaded three times someone goes I just love when people disagree to a pretty reasonable comment and begin it by saying that's stupid essentially being like you should have that to yourself yeah yeah essentially but i do think there's a lot to be said there where like it does feel a little discriminatory like kind of like it was maternity leave it wasn't she quit i guess it depends on how the office is set up because if they didn't have assigned offices and that's just kind of like where she took place but but then but then you have this girl who completely decorated so clearly like i do want to just make a comment though like again if you want to handle this maturely i would go to the bosses and be like hey like i feel like i'm getting mixed signals from you two who are kind of supposed to be in charge of this because people are being like they're potentially opening themselves up to a lawsuit like they're these two guys who are in this power position being like to these two women one of which coming back from maternity leave being like hey you sort it between you girls and it's like no this is your company yeah quit sending mixed signals and let's just let's sort it pay me back for the paint upgrade my office go hire a painter so I don't have to do it probably not during her work time probably after hours again free labor free paint reimburse me for that and then hire a painter so I can have a nice space because you're kicking me out of mine after kicking Julie out of it and then sending us both mixed signals.

1:49:40Maybe it's their first day on earth. These two little bosses. It's their first day. Get it together, guys. There's a lot of people that like also just don't know what is legal and not when they run a business. And whenever I was working at a company where I would sign up payroll for people in small businesses, it was like a that was always so astonishing to me. And I was I was young. like I was complicated and like yeah but I was young and I was like signing up payroll for like these older men and and I'm telling them like what they're doing is illegal and if somebody ever sued them like slippery slope there is one last comment I'll get into because OP does respond to it it's the only comment that OP responds to and it's not even from the two I take subreddit so OP did post this as well on r slash advice.

1:50:33And again, same title, same body of the post, it appears. And so someone says, quote, I took her office. You shouldn't have done that. She trained you and showed you around. And then you took her office knowing it was hers and that she'd be back. The bosses should have assigned you an empty office. And now you're making it weird and uncomfortable. Quote, I find it disrespectful that she went behind my back. That's ironic. it's just an office. So move into the other one and let the one who has seniority have her office back. What happens if you take a day off? Will she just move your stuff out and move her own stuff back in?

1:51:08OP responds, yes she did when I have my day off. She comes in the office and uses everything and I wasn't even sure if she was coming back at all from her leave. I will say the leave started again we're July 2026 she's just coming back this post is only seven days old week old her leave was almost a year oh so don't know if this is the United States there is no mention of what country this is coming from some countries their standard maternity leave is one year the U.S. does not have a standardized maternity leave it could be six weeks it could be three months could be six months we don't know so a year I don't know if that changes anyone's feelings on it I mean it's definitely enough to get comfortable and not leave the prime real estate maybe open the whole time but again yeah she's back yeah time to move right let us know what you think in the comments I feel like that one is gonna be it could be divisive for people but okay one last one for us here are you ready for this let me feel the vibe vibe check i'm ready for this yeah last but not least this is coming from r slash relationship advice it is titled i 35 male was caught using ai to write wedding vows and partner 34 female walked out what do i do i 35 male recently had a wedding with my partner, 34 Female.

1:52:40We've had a stable and happy relationship so far, and I love her more than anything in the world. The problem arose when it came to writing vows. Don't get me wrong, I love many things about my partner, but I couldn't figure out how to put them into tangible vows. I decided to use Chat2PT so I could have something well-written and expressive to share at the ceremony. The thing about my partner is that she's very confrontational and no nonsense. If something annoys her, she immediately addresses it with no room for backing out. I also know that she's expressed disdain for AI in the past, but I didn't realize how far the hatred could go.

1:53:21I don't know how, but she immediately recognized that the vows were AI. After I finished, she had this angry look and whispered to me, quote, did you use fucking AI to write that? During the wedding? I was quiet because I couldn't believe she had noticed that and she was choosing to address it while we were on full display for everyone. Oh, no. She then said that I either speak from the heart or she walks out. Oh my God. No. Keep going. I literally couldn't get any words out. Oh, he's stunned. And she kept her promise and walked back down the aisle, much to all of our friends and family's confusion.

1:54:16Oh, they didn't hear her? She wasn't mic'd up. Okay. She's been ghosting me these past few days, which is atypical for her, and honestly giving me panic attacks. Oh, no. Most people agree that calling off a marriage because of AI vows was an overreaction, and that maybe it was a sign that our relationship would have issues, but a few female friends have said that they would have done the same. I'm hurt, and I honestly just needed it to help make the day more special. Is this worth fixing? honestly I don't know because AI aside I think it's just the fact that she walked out during the like right like when they're about to yeah it just I wonder sorry go on no and I was just gonna say and then the ghosting too it's like to ghost somebody after that like obviously like again like you didn't even go back to the bridal suite and chat right and it's like do you think that he had these horrible intentions when he did that and if you do think that then yeah like you guys probably shouldn't get married because if you think that he was like malicious it was malicious then you know and so and if you don't think it's malicious then it's like why are you ghosting somebody who wanted to spend the rest of their lives with you and they're going into panic attacks like right after you walked out on them in front of all your friends and family and all of your loved ones supposed to be the most special day and again And you spent a lot of money probably.

1:55:44Exactly. And it's just like I do understand like being really disappointed and really hurt that like you were really wanting your partner to like. Speak from the heart. Speak from the heart and say their own words. Show me why you love me. Right. Vow. I think if you're willing to walk out and ghost your partner after that, that just seems like a really hard like uphill battle for a marriage. because I think, again, if you know him well enough, you know he probably was just trying to get— Had maybe good intentions. Yeah. And if you don't think he did, then it might—it's just— Yeah. I understand being hurt and let down while you're there at the altar.

1:56:24Should he have used a eye to write his vows? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Like, buddy, I don't know why you thought that would even be a good idea. like that should have came from your heart and not some paraphrased human computer like that is really shitty but she confronted him up there I understand being shocked I understand being like deer in headlights but the fact that like you were you were literally ready to say I'll spend the rest of my life with you and then she walks out it is an interesting reaction and it does beg Like the question of like, are you even compatible? Is this worth saving?

1:57:02I don't love AI. I'm very against AI, especially in terms of using it to write your vows. Like that better come from your heart and our experience and just be so sentimental and so you. Otherwise, I don't want it. Yeah. So I completely get that. But I don't know if I would have. I just threw away a marriage and a life with someone if there weren't already a shit ton of cracks. Like, there's got to be a lot more going on here. I have a lot of questions with this one. I'm, again, like, very curious why he even would think this is a good idea. Again, kind of like first day on EarthBuddy, like, did you think AI would be a good way to write your vows that are supposed to be very sentimental and heartfelt?

1:57:47And I feel like for me and Justin, when we talked about our vows, it was like a demonstration of like our relationship and why we mean so much to each other and like what we are vowing for our future. Like I promise to always support you even through your toughest days when you don't even believe in yourself. Like I do think it's a really good opportunity to show your love for this person and that like I see you. I understand you. ChatGPT doesn't know her. and I fully understand why she's so upset and I'm very confused why he's like kind of like surprised by this but like I think again like as you said AI vows aside maybe the AI vows aren't like really the issue here but I'm really curious because I do think there's a lot of cracks as you're saying there's got to be other issues but I'm really curious if she told him before the wedding please don't use AI I know you love Chachipiti But like, please don't use it to write your vows.

1:58:47I'm really curious if this was a conversation before this all went down. And that's why her reaction was so was big. Yeah. Explosive. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. And the thing is, like, too, though, like with with A.I., it's not like I mean, he could have just been like, tell me what I should say when I'm getting married. And he could have just done that. but he could have literally written out like how much he loves her and then put it in AI and been like can you make this better and better like more well written and and then AI could have taken everything that he still came from his heart and cleaned it up so that he didn't sound like an idiot yeah so it's like I mean I guess I don't know there's like there's there's levels there's tears to all of this we do have a few comments from OP so let's get in the top comments first I do see some responses from OP, but I just want to see overall what was best.

1:59:41So top comment. I'm skeptical. Most people told you this is an overreaction. Let's see the vows. Most people is just his way of saying Chachy PT told him. Big red box here. That's funny. In vain, I've struggled it will not do my feelings will not be repressed you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you in declaring myself thus i'm fully aware that i will be going expressly against the wishes of my family my friends and i hardly need add my own better judgment we this is it's a role play that is not op god i was about to faint that is not op that is someone role-playing vows it did get a decent amount of upvotes and a award um so no the next top comment i see here expressive and ai don't go together she was able to figure it out that it was ai because ai doesn't have the same tone as you you outsourced how much you care about your partner to a machine and you're upset she didn't like the idea i want to say this is fake but one glance at linkedin proves how ai rots the brain and makes you incapable of critical thinking let's get into op's comments wow so everyone thinks that that was a marriage ender i think everyone's like dude like what were you thinking everyone is like very surprised that he would even do this like he would even yeah because it's like what like what were you thinking yeah and i do think like there's there's groups to this ai where it's like some people hate it not going to use it and then some people are like it's my best friend i love chat like i chat like and you see i'll see it on people's stories where it's like chat like blah blah blah blah and they ask chat everything like chat has become their internal monologue and so i don't know where majority of you guys fall like i i don't use it.

2:01:48But I surely would not use it for something so meaningful and special as my vows. Like people frame their vows in their home. Yeah. It's weird. But let's see what what OP is saying. So someone does say here, did you write this with AI too, bud? Come on, man. You should have been talking from the heart. And OP says, no, I could write this just fine. For the vows, it was different because I wanted them to be perfect. And there was a lot I wanted to say that I ended up not being able to say anything. So like kind of describing being overwhelmed, panic. I wrote my vows morning of. Like I did procrastinate and panic write them, but it did really inspire greatness, if I do say so.

2:02:32OP says here, I didn't realize she would be able to tell right away when I spoke of her disdain for AI. People are making it seem like it was a deal breaker that I simply ignored, which isn't the case. I didn't understand that it meant that much to her, and I definitely won't be making the same careless mistake again. Someone says, the thing is, this is a slippery slope. Once you get AI to do something as important as writing your wedding vows, you will even more easily be getting AI to reply to your text messages and creating apology messages when you get into arguments, which you didn't even write, at which point she might as well be in a relationship with ChatGPT instead of you.

2:03:11OP says, This is the first time using it to write text, and this whole situation scared me off it for good. If I can fix things, hopefully I won't fall into a slippery slope again. Someone commented, $10, she planned the entire wedding. OP probably just had this and picking up their tux to remember and couldn't even be bothered to put in any effort. OP responds, I was involved in the wedding process. She always asked for my opinion, and we came to decisions together. I also paid for half. I'm not some freeloader because if I was, she would have kicked me to the curb a lot sooner. Yeah. People are like really going in.

2:03:50Like, I mean, if his story is what his story is, he was so overwhelmed and nervous. And like, again, like he didn't say, like, I just said, write the entire thing for me. He said, I didn't know how to like exactly express exactly how much I love her. And so it's like, I don't know. People are like acting like he's like the worst human that's ever like and it's like yeah like it was a bad call but like he's not like this malicious yeah they're like it does sound like he was overwhelmed they're just like they're like i bet you didn't plan the wedding i bet you're just a piece of shit that like is a worthless scum of the earth like i'm just like chill the fuck out on him no jesus i don't know some people like there are some comments he responds to where people are just like didn't you have an officiant like ours offered to help us both individually with vows OP was like, I actually thought getting help from an officiant would be less authentic.

2:04:42I guess I took it an even worse route without even realizing. And it's like, I guess like if you look at that versus let me have this other human influence, my vows versus like, I don't know, some thoughtless machine that is my sounding board. Right. That is just, I could see how he would get there. There's a comment here, last one that he responds to. someone just asking are you by chance on the spectrum and this is where like I'm really surprised this next part comes from them but they say I can't imagine the tone deaf carelessness you exhibited without some kind of neuro spicy traits parentheses speaking from an often tone deaf careless person with odd hd and I'm like I get you can relate but like kind of worded that almost as a disservice to people that also have that.

2:05:35I don't know. OP response, this has been brought up before, but I don't have a reason to believe it's true. I've seen two psychiatrists and none of them had mentioned wanting me to get tested or anything. I think I just might be a dumb boat. He's really like, really feeling himself. Like, kind of like, oh, hurts. I mean, I guess if everyone wants to hate him, I feel bad for him. Sorry. like I don't think that's something to be sorry about it's I mean it's tough like this is a crossroads for a lot of people in life right now like to be honest my dad uses AI sometimes he would send me AI shit and I said don't fucking send me that shit anymore called me up the other day he goes how's it going I go good and he's like I wanted to send you something but I know you don't like AI so I didn't send it to you and I go thank you we have boundaries around it it's a crossroads for a lot of people and again this is just it was his first wedding his first time writing vows first first time on earth first day on earth doing that specific thing yeah as he said he won't make that mistake again but uh we do get an update let's hear it are you okay are you just feeling so bad for the guy so bad like he's like his his partner just like walked out on him ghosted him he's having panic attacks he goes to like the internet to be like am I a bad human and then then everyone's like yeah you're a bad human like I just feel I'm like I mean it like you said it's a new thing for the world like AI is new for the world and it's it's weird it's confusing and like I just yeah he made a mistake but like have some grace for the guy yeah it's new I don't know I'm I'm with you again I still think it's crazy he went there but maybe there is some truth to that comment or being like are you you know are you neuro atypical like what's maybe there's just lack of social cues or something like whatever but or like what if he put in a sentence and was like can you make this like sound more eloquent and it was like I love you because you remind me of the sky and I love the sky and you're my favorite person the entire world and then AI it's like made it like a little bit more like flowy made him sound less like an idiot like I'm really curious yeah I'm really curious what they were because the way that she just clocked it.

2:07:52I'm like, what were that? Yeah, that's I wish he would. I wish he could give it to us because then that would give us so much more context. They never get shared. And I from scanning the update, I don't see it there. But let's get into it. Update. I honestly wasn't planning to do an update after all because of how humiliating this entire situation has been. I didn't want to give any more reason for people to rip me apart. But now that my story is posted on a popular YouTube channel, there probably won't be much of an escape route for me. There's no doubt people we know will find it now, so I wanted to give the short update everyone has been itching to get.

2:08:27I did what I said previously, and I told her about the Reddit post and how the replies gave me her perspective and that I was sorry. She ended up getting even more angry with me about, quote, posting our business, even though our names weren't mentioned and that she couldn't believe I needed online strangers to tell me why I was wrong. Also, apparently my mom was texting her about paying back all the wasted wedding money and she used that against me too, which I don't think is fair. I have no control over what my family does. Snacks and flowers didn't do much. She refuses to give me another chance even after offering to go to couples counseling.

2:09:07So yeah, the wedding is never happening again. It's over. This has been the most horrendous time in my life. I've thought about giving up altogether. See, that's so fucked up. Meanwhile, she's posting about brunch with friends on her social media. Makes me wonder how she could move on that fast while I'm a wreck. People have accused me of not caring about her enough to write my own vows, yet the difference in our reactions to splitting up say the reverse i hope you're all happy feel free to rub salt in the wound i'm not coming back to this account this is so depressing it's really i hate this entire story

2:09:52i'm sorry the he's thinks about giving up completely like it's just like that is devastating the oh my god like i don't like we don't even know the details of like what like Yeah. And it's just like, yeah, like I hope he's out there. I hope he like comes across this and I hope he sees like, hey, there's another side to it. And like the only one, the fucking lone soldier right here, like advocating that he's not a horrible person. I don't think he's a horrible person. I'm confused why he would think it was a good idea to use it. But I understand being overwhelmed. But is it that confusing? Like like when people are so anxious about their vows and then there's this like thing.

2:10:31Again, I was. I procrastinated until the morning left. Yeah, and then, and, like, they think they're going to sound like a complete idiot, and then they think, oh, here's this, like, source that's going to help me put in my thoughts. Like, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I guess I don't know. What he, I mean, he basically said this was, like, the first and last time I'll use it. Right, and so, like, puts in, like, his thoughts, like, maybe, like, maybe, benefit of the doubt, like, that he was putting his thoughts that were, like, actually how he feels, and then asked AI to make it sound better, and then AI made it sound better as AI.

2:10:57you know like let's just say that's the case and it's just like so like the aggressive amount of hate like yes unnecessary of course everyone should write their own vows and like that is definitely like a thing to like put out there to everyone write your own vows we're gonna have ai like it's not gonna go away it's gonna continue to be louder and louder it's gonna be a part of the world it's a part of you know when you go to a fast food restaurant they're using ai they are every company is using ai so like you're you can't fully get away with it even if you're not clicking in it so it's just like it's all around it's really being forced upon us everywhere exactly and so i think that like i think this is a good moment to like be like remember to write your own vows and remember to not get lost in the fact that it's going to be pushed all over the place and still be you and still use your own thoughts even if they seem more dumb like it's it's it's good to be authentic it's good to be human to be human it's good to make mistakes it's good to sound stupid like humans make mistakes yeah here you go yeah your life is still worth living exactly you are gonna go on and find someone who i honestly i don't know if she loves him like i'm gonna i'm gonna like i think her reaction again unhealthy relationship unhealthy conflict resolution unhealthy communication you're gonna go on and you're gonna find someone who's amazing and loves you and maybe the next time your vows won't even be hard to write because you have such clarity on that person and you love them so much that it just spills out of you or maybe you sound like an idiot when you say your vows and that's and your and your partner laughs so hard because they love when you sound like an idiot when you try to express your love of you they love yeah absolutely i am definitely going to send op a message in case he happens to ponder on that account i just feel like so heartbroken that he got like dumped at the altar and then everybody is just like yeah you're a piece of shit like i don't it's just like oh my god like Yeah.

2:12:49And he wasn't trying to be awful, you know, like there's a lot of people that try to be awful. No, I genuinely think this is one of those human mistakes that just happened. And that's the beauty in humanness. We are going to make mistakes. We're not going to get it right all the time. We're not all knowing beings. Who am I? Just Morgan. Maybe I was reincarnated. Maybe I was someone else before, but it feels like my first time doing this for sure. So no, I think it's good to have grace. And I think that is what makes us human. And again, just two takes here. Everyone's going to see it a different way.

2:13:28There's a lot of sides to a dice, two sides to a coin for sure. that's for sure yeah for sure I know I know that um but yeah you know I just and that's the thing too that I do like want to continue to like convey to people because obviously we're on here and we're judging anonymous stories um but I do think it's it's tough when we come across when I come across things on the internet even if it's celebrities the way that people are so unforgiving about celebrities making mistakes and people making mistakes in general or like I like I'll see somebody gets like bit by a shark and it's like oh someone was bit by a shark and then the comments are just like well you're an idiot for going like you deserve to die because you went in the shark's land and it's just like can we just like be nicer to each other and like be human and just like remember to give grace and that like people say stupid things people mess up people make mistakes like people do things they regret like let's just all give each other like a little more grace and give each other a little more love.

2:14:30Yeah. Well, I think too with Reddit, remember like potentially a lot of times, I would say most times, there's a human on the other side of that. Yeah. There's a human on the other side of that. And, you know, there's unfortunately, came across my page the other day where this Fox rehabber actually, you know, because of comments online And it's just shouldn't be like that. No, exactly. So be kind. I think everyone out there today, like, take this as a reminder of, like, compliment someone, do something nice, pay it forward in some way. Like, I just think we are in this world and we are creators of the world we want to live in.

2:15:14And I know, obviously, a lot is out of our control and it can feel paralyzing and overwhelming and just catastrophic most days. I've really been going through it this week. Like, so just a little reminder of like, just be kind. Like someone, like smiling at someone, complimenting them could make a huge difference, a big impact and let you be the person that makes someone's day. Like, how good does that feel? So just be nice, be kind. I also, that was beautiful. And I also saw something that was like, to be a human is to be a hypocrite, which is so - Oh, I love that. Well, it's so funny to me because it's like, I used to be like, oh, hypocrites bother me so much.

2:15:53but like I'm probably hypocrite too like we all have contradict myself week to week yeah and I've noticed it with everybody in the entire world like there's there's always there's always going to be a moment where like you're judging somebody for something that like you've probably done in a different relationship or like on some capacity it's just like we climb by the seat of my pants how I feel on a day is gonna yeah totally impact how I act behave what I say yeah so just remember to try to be to be kind to people it's okay to like get angry and bitch about stuff and be mad and like judge people but like but also have those moments to come back down to earth and be like i'm an i'm imperfect too so beautiful love you guys love you guys so much we are also going to be doing more of these stories over on patreon and again like we're gonna i think have more stories where it's like whose first day on earth is it within the story and that's how all of these are kind of intended to.

2:16:47It's like, whose first day on earth was it? Yeah. Is it their first day or, you know, are they well experienced? And maybe it's our first day as we found in the Tamarind story. Yeah. With me and the Pissachio. But this will be again, a bonus episode over on Patreon. Patreon, I don't do ad for you guys. It is all new stories, new content. It's not repeated anything. So head on over. There's also a upcoming theme called jump scare. You guys are going to see very soon. Patreon episode for that. So come join us over on Patreon. Free stuff too. So just come be a part of the family. Anything else, Loewen?

2:17:26No, I just am so glad to be here. Until next time, guys. Bye, guys. Bye.

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