285: Jump Scare!

31:07No. Cousins by chance, lovers by choice. So do we think this was like a romantic outing or do you think that cousins were sent to a mental hospital and they kind of, you know, like cemented their love in the... Wow, people are really declaring their love in ingenious ways this episode. Yeah. We've got graffiti on a mental hospital and blood vials. Yeah. apparently it is um the northern state asylum okay because a lot of people recognize it in the comments they're like shout out northern state so it's like a very popular but abandoned yeah next one down i was on their volleyball team go lobotomies wait i think people are volleyball team no now they're just being silly oh god they're just being silly also So, oh gosh, then someone links a YouTube video of Brad Paisley on one of the late night shows releasing a song called First Cousins.

32:05It's obviously like a joke, but we do have a couple other comments from people. Someone just asks, are you 100 % sure that they are cousins? Some people lie. And Opie responds, unfortunately, I am 100 % certain. I explained somewhere else that I talked to his mom and grandma pretty regularly. And is he normal with the mom and grandma? I'd like to know. Is he free for all female relatives or does he have like an age limit?

32:42There's another comment here. This doesn't seem like the sort of thing you'll be able to get over. Think about it. Can you see a world in which he remains close with his family and you don't feel uncomfortable something may happen? He may genuinely not see an issue with it. Personally, I would find it icky, and I don't see him cutting off his family because of it. It's awful, but logically, it's over. Yeah, it's like, I guess there are families that do that out there. I'm like thinking of Tom Brady kissing his son on the mouth. That was a big thing when it happened. That was a big thing. But even that is less weird because it's like a parent and a very young child.

33:19Yeah. And that was still like weird, but to me, but less. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like that's not something I'm going to be able to comment on until I have kids. But I'm like, I have a really hard time with like hugging people. Like, I feel like I'm a bad hugger. So I don't even know what to think about that. But OP does respond to that. Like, logically, it's over. and they go, you're right. You're so right. Because that's literally what I said to him after it happened at first. That if he were ever around her without me, I would be constantly imagining what might be happening. And it'd be wrong to cut off family, especially for this.

33:57Ugh. Can't one of us just change? Ugh. I mean, him specifically probably should be the one. Like, you want to change into a person who doesn't mind if your partner, like, gets his cousin's ass backed up on him and keeps pulling her back no and we do have another post here from op not necessarily an update but another post coming from r slash am i wrong titled is it wrong that i'm jealous of my boyfriend's sisters and how like were these posted around the same time i believe yeah four days apart she's locking in this week four days apart. Decision by Sunday. Yeah. And like, hey, I think the first post we read, obviously problematic enough.

34:48Like, I'm not sure if this one's going to make it better. He constantly says his sisters are too beautiful. And when they post pics on their stories, statuses on Facebook or WhatsApp, he screenshots it. Often he'll send the pic to me saying, isn't she beautiful? That alone isn't an issue, but it makes me jealous because he doesn't send them random pics of me saying, isn't my girlfriend beautiful, he used to post his sisters and his exes on his status and story. He's never posted me on his status and story, even though he takes pictures of me all the time. But to be frank, he hasn't posted on socials since a few months before we started dating.

35:24He called them baby and my love and my beautiful queens. All the same things he calls me. Wait, his sisters? I thought he meant the exes at first and then I was like, wait, surely not. it's giving sisters. I told him I didn't like him using the same pet names for me. I'd rather him just call me by my name. He got mad initially, but has since started calling them other pet names. I am generally secure about my appearance, but I have felt less than beautiful in this relationship for a while. He says, I don't have eyes for anyone but you, and I believe him. Um, yeah, I just, it just goes on. Like, this bone feels like my do I stay or do I go point, because knowing that he finds me attractive and is proud of me would make it easier to be patient enough to work on the rest.

36:11There's way too much to work on here. Yeah, girl, like, what do you have? Like, what's the good here? He's spooning his cousins. Which is enough by itself, even if he was perfect otherwise. It's, I'm confused. I'm genuinely, I'm like, I don't think you got much going on. And I don't think there's anything. Like, there's another post here that was removed by the moderators, but from r slash relationship advice, how do I get over my dislike for my boyfriend's aunt? Oh my God, what's the aunt doing? Am I overreacting? I feel like my boyfriend is not attracted to me and it makes me want to leave him.

36:49It almost feels like he's like the center of a female cult within his family in a weird way. Like it's a weird vibe. It's like, what's going on here? This is not a vibe I would want to be a part of. I feel like there's something extra happening. Yeah. And again, I will say seemingly real account. Again, old, has a decent amount of karma. Five-year-old account has been unlocking achievements like top poster, five-day streak, nice post, banana aficionado, banana master, active in the two-out-take sub nine months ago. Girl, leave. Girl, run. Girl, if you're out there, if you're listening, look at me, look at me.

37:34This isn't you. No. This is not meant for you. What are you fighting for? This is not meant for you at all. Jump scare. Okay. We're jumping off this ship. Okay. I don't want to be a part of this one anymore. Perfect. And I hope you don't want to be either because it's too weird. Yeah. I'll find someone for you, honestly. I'm incentivized. Mikaela the matchmaker. Okay, on to this next one. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Okay, real talk. To-do lists are unhinged, and the stuff that actually gets done, always the stuff you had help with. Flat pack furniture, meal prep, things that are just better with another person.

38:16Now, State Farm can't help with the sofa or Sunday cooking, but when it comes to helping find the right coverage for you, they're on it. You can talk to one of their 19 ,000 local agents in person over the phone through their easily accessible app or at statefarm.com. Whatever works for you. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This next one for us here, coming from r slash girl dinner diaries. Oh, I don't know that one. Have you been on Girl Dinner? There's a couple different Girl Dinner subs and they're quickly becoming my favorite stories. Is it posting about what they're eating? So they share what they're eating.

38:55I'll read you the sub like, blip of what it is for the feral plates and the feral thoughts post your unhinged meals relationship spirals late night thoughts soft moments braggy moments your messy moments it's kind of like this dump all and so you'll get this picture of like oh this is a nice looking taco and then it's like a crazy story you maybe have mentioned this yeah i've read a couple stories off here now but i'm really just finding it to be such a good sub to follow yeah this is again coming from Girl Dinner Diaries, titled, Found Out My Best Friend Is Hooking Up With My Dad. I have no idea what to do, y 'all.

39:35Please help. To start, let me make it known that we are in our mid-20s, not underage. Anyways, my best friend has been close to me, like a sister, for six years. We do everything together since we met. I take her on vacations with me, bring her around my other friends and family, pretty much any and everything. She's my go-to person for advice and to talk to about literally everything. She's always been around my family a lot to the point where she says it feels like a second family for her. And my mom absolutely adores her. Sometimes when my mom is mad at me, she'll even make jokes about how I should act more like my best friend and will refer to her as her favorite daughter.

40:18Oh, God. Not anymore. The other night, I was hanging out with my best friend at my house, and when she went to get a shower, she forgot to take her phone with her, which she usually never does. So I didn't even realize she didn't have it until I heard it go off next to me. She was getting blown up by someone and had her text previews on, so I looked at her screen and I saw her texts. She got them from an unsaved number and y 'all I looked at her screen and it was my fucking dad's number There were two texts from him that said quote when are you gonna be home? And I want to see you again soon, baby When I tell you my jaw dropped and fell right through my stomach and out my asshole Crying emoji.

41:05I literally was frozen just thinking to myself. What do I do right now? Do I just go confront her now and beat her ass while she's in the shower? Or do I go to my parents' house first, confront my dad, beat his ass and tell my mom? I was fucking floored. Completely at a loss for words. And the worst part is, my parents are still happily together in love and have been for over 20 years now. Oh shit. And my mom fucking loves my best friend. Maybe even more than me, for real. and I don't even know how long this shit has been going on for. Y 'all, what do I do? How do I handle some shit like this and who do I confront first and how?

41:47It still doesn't even feel real and I can't even believe I'm sharing this here to be honest but I genuinely have no idea how to go about this whole fucked up situation. This is the type of nightmare fuel that you know is possible but you obviously never think it's actually gonna happen. What do I do? I'm gonna need her to get a little bit more specific on mid-20s and six-year best friend take on vacation right because this is grooming like she literally looked at them as a second family and has been around and like so interconnected to the family for so many years well here's a picture of her tacos oh my god really fucking good.

42:34What is that? I'm so hungry. Is that pickle? It's like chicken fajitas. Chicken, corn, guac, sour cream, some grilled red peppers, grilled onions, grilled green peppers. Honestly, what I'm going to have immediately after this. Okay. Well, you know, at least she's got food. Nice taco to cry over. Oh my God. Like, no, this is definitely insane. Absolutely insane. insane she should go beat her dad's ass i would like yeah i don't know obviously it's weird and bad from the best friend too but she also i feel like in this situation might be a victim like potentially i don't know yeah absolutely i mean yeah there's no real clear like mid-20s that could be 25 it could be 25 it could be 27 it could be 24 so i'm like again it's not great Like there's clearly a power imbalance and to go from yeah, I look at your family as a second family to yeah, like that's not good.

43:35No, he's a creep. It's it's creepy. I guess in terms of how do you proceed forward? I would probably talk to my friend first and confront her. I feel like your friend is probably less likely to try to lie to you and I would want more clear answers. And then I would go to my dad. But like you got to know like to friend is immediately going to be like texting your dad like she knows. like there's gonna be a lot of damage control and like yeah so I feel like dad has more to lose so he'll be a little bit more huge yeah huge and so I just like confront her and then depending on what you learn go to your mom I'd probably go to the mom the mom first yeah I think it would be interesting to like figure out how he's gonna sell the story to her and some people some people's parents like have open relationships and then they find out about it in weird ways but it it's like you can have an open relationship but don't fuck my friend don't don't fuck your child's friend who was at the oldest 20 when you met her and was hanging out with your family in this like I don't know like that is a child parent dynamic to an extent even if it's not you know as severe as an actual child and even without that like that is an insane age gap and it's creepy regardless Yeah.

44:52I don't know. Also him saying like, when are you getting home? Are they like playing house? What's going on? Does he have a key to her place? This sounds pretty severe. Again, when did it start? How long has this been happening? Because this doesn't sound like super recent. No. If he's saying, when are you getting home? No, and I will say, this does seem to be a very real Reddit account. It's a part of the two-year club. Normal amount of karma. Doesn't seem like it's out of this world. like they're karma farming regular achievements they they typically post in r slash paintings r slash unusual art r slash oc poetry um so it does feel like it's very real which is like why why why why why but yeah i'm just like i i think i would do that order friend mom mom dad I like talking to people I agree and she's with the friend right now that's why it's also easy is there any way she like knows her phone password while she's in the shower I would have like really gotten in there but if I knew it I would have creeped I'm not usually for looking through someone's phone but I would want to know like I just feel like when people are definitely gonna lie like this is one where I think she'd come out and lie if I feel like if trust gets broken in some way like well now it's on the person who broke it to either fix that or show whatever so I think looking at someone's phone when they've done something like that is totally reasonable and valid yeah insane let's get into the comments on this one the top comment with 4.2k upvotes is just a meme of this guy just looking horrified which is how I feel inside right now yeah damn girl your font is huge i zoomed it for you oh thank you coming to just like font shame me or like text size whatever yeah i zoomed so you could see it thank you and that was really kind um another meme that gets shared is maya rudolph cringing i'm hoping with every single cell in my body that op misread the number I mean I think she knows her father's phone number yeah I feel like and in that moment I feel like you would also do a double take triple take and be like is that it's close no that's my dad I would take a picture of it on my phone I think you definitely when you come across shit like this you definitely need to take pictures of someone's screen because again people people can make you It just seemed crazy, especially if it's like multiple people that are cared about in your family who could kind of band together and create a different narrative of what happened.

47:41The next top comment here. Well, tell your mom for sure. She doesn't deserve to be in the dark. Next comment. Tell mom, wait on beating friends ass while your mom figures out what she wants to do. And if it's divorce, get what she needs lined up for that before either of them know and can do anything to cover their asses. OP prioritize your mom and getting her set up for the direction she wants to go right now without them coming up with a cover. Aspidians can happen later after your mom is set up. And that's a really good point. That's smart. Yeah. Play it cool. Like you still don't know and like try to secure the evidence off your friend's phone.

48:16Yeah. Like get the password for the next time she's in the shower or like you have a sleepover and then you wake up midnight and get it. Which feels like so. Put that phone screen up to their face. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh Oh, but the eyes have to be open. Yeah. Well, she could like... Get the password. She could like do it while they're awake, run to the bathroom, lock herself in the room. That would work. Right? And it feels like deceptive, but at the same time, she's been with your dad. But again, we don't know when it started. So I know there's like a very nuanced conversation with all of this where we don't know all the details.

48:52Yeah. But it's not right. No. What's going on one way or another, not right. Right. Damn. And I also like didn't expect it to for him and the wife to still be together. I thought it was going to be a story where it's just like they were divorced. Yeah. But bad anyway. But that's crazy. Yeah. No, a lot of people do keep commenting to ignore everyone else's advice and do this. One, do not say anything to the friend. Two, tell mom, let her do what she needs to do legally. Step three, tell dad. Step four, keep ignoring friend. You will never speak to her again. okay sure yeah I mean I'd probably want to hear her side too but I don't know after all the other I would yeah because I think a lot of people I think a lot of people see like mid-20s and are just like well she was an adult yeah but I think there's a lot more nuance there and again family vacations immediately followed by best friend of six years like and grooming like I think again And it's kind of like why I have a problem with age gaps.

49:53If there's like a power imbalance, like grooming can also be a power imbalance where she felt vulnerable. Maybe she doesn't have a good home life. Maybe she doesn't really have a family. She looks at this family as her second family, her chosen family. Yeah. And then it just devolves into this messed up situation. And so there could be. She's like kind of been adopted into this family. Which is even like you hear that and you're just like, God, this dude is just sick in the head. Ugh. We don't have an update from OP. It is very fresh. Just posted this morning. The moderators of Girl Dinner did remove it.

50:33Oh, shit. However, account still very active. I'm going to send her a message and just be like, hey, sending you love. Crazy, terrible thing you're dealing with. Like, please keep us posted. but it again is giving very real based on account history and all the posts i'm seeing yeah wild absolutely wild god i wish that i could text her i know i just want to like drop a pin let me help yeah let me like let's kick your dad out let's put all this shit on the lawn i've got a hammer what is that what you meant what are you gonna do with that hammer you know like hit him with it oh man we're gonna we're gonna fight with words okay sure you know allegedly since we're publicly posting this yeah and like maybe legal documents like yeah divorce papers got it got it totally alimony yeah that other big word alimony okay moving along to this next one okay trigger warning on this next one friends it does contain mentions of self-harm suicide body shaming it's a pretty heavy story and is honestly quite bonkers so if you can't handle that today please skip ahead the two hot takes dating show where all the people who write into the two hot takes read it with a gross relationship story we find matches for them i've wanted to do Jubilee.

52:12A two hot takes like speed dating thing in LA. You should. I know. Well, you can help me now that I have a business partner on this venture. I'll be the hype guy. You say stuff. I'm like, yeah, I don't want to talk. We'll let everyone do the talking. We just will screen people, make sure they're, they're good. We'll be like, you have to send us your Reddit main account. I'm good at that. I'm good at like looking into someone's social media and finding everything. You have to kind of know what people are doing on this Reddit. Otherwise they can turn out to be a monster like this next one this is coming from r slash relationships it's titled i 32 female just discovered my husband 34 male of six years is a reddit troll and i'm pregnant that's what you meant by troll okay he left the browser open on our laptop after he went to work this morning I go to work after, so I usually hop on and do my own things on my real account.

53:11Today, however, I was disgusted at what I found. My husband is a troll, a really fucking nasty troll. He leaves horribly mean comments to all kinds of people. They are filled with racist slurs, awful insults. He tears into fat people, ugly people, etc. He loves to troll around places like r slash progress pics to discourage people. He's sent private messages to people to call them names, calls women who post on r slash gone wild, sluts and whores and C words, etc. I was horrified, completely horrified. My husband is a nice, gentle man who is supportive and kind. In our nine-year relationship, we have fought a total of three times.

54:00I never thought that this is a behavior he would take part in. But this is something else. It made me wonder what else he did on the internet. So I looked at the browser history to find him also harassing teenagers on Tumblr. What the fuck? Telling them to hurt themselves, calling cute girls ugly and fat and stupid. It horrified me to think that this was the man who could be raising our daughter with me in just a few months. I understand trolling can be fun. We've all laughed at Chem N once or twice. but this goes far beyond what I ever imagined. I don't know how to look at him. I've lost respect for the man I look up to and admired.

54:42Good men don't tear others down. Good people don't do that in general. I don't know what to do. I want to bring it up to him but I don't know how to do it without him automatically getting defensive and spouting off the same lines you hear from people. Get a thicker skin. The world isn't kisses and rainbows etc. Of course it isn't but why contribute to it. What do I do? I'm confused because she's saying he's so nice normally, but then like she thinks that his reaction when she brings it up will be like get a thicker skin. Whereas if I, you know, thought my husband of nine years was so sweet and I would be like, he'll be humiliated.

55:20He'll be so embarrassed. He'll be like, this isn't him. But she knows that he'll kind of like argue about it. So I'm like, how sweet could he really be? I genuinely would be scared to confront this person yeah I don't know why because there's like a different side of them it's Jekyll and Hyde yeah like this would genuinely terrify me because it's like who are you because it's not the person I thought I knew and I would be scared of like some retaliation or I just I don't even know like I I just have like a weird feeling where I feel like I I'm like would I even say anything or would I just quietly be like, hey, this isn't working out.

56:01Yeah. I just I don't even know. Like, I think that's so valid, like a kind of person who can disguise themselves so well and so successfully. Yeah. That is very chilling. It's just it's clearly deeply, deeply disturbing behavior to go on teenagers accounts on Tumblr. Yeah. Like you are going out of your way to harass belittle degrade people r slash progress pics where people are so proud of their progress and they're they're trying to better their health or their life and you're shitting on them and maybe discouraging them his account should be banned his account should be banned but yeah that's not at all what i expected when i heard the title i was like thinking it was gonna be just you know arguing a lot or something like that yeah like shit posting or being a devil's advocate yeah Yeah.

56:54But and even that I would have been like, OK, like that's an unhealthy habit. But, you know, I'm sure you can talk it through and get better. But this is just like I don't think there's any coming back from that. It's just too spooky. This would I would be like, you need to go talk to someone. You need therapy because this is insane behavior. Like genuinely like this is not OK. This is despicable. and if you feel the need to do this and comment this type of stuff on other people's pages pictures whatever there is something deeply wrong with you whether you're that insecure I don't know what it is but you really need to get some help yeah like genuinely I would I'd even struggle to believe he's gotten better if he said he did because he was so good at hiding it already yes it's like You can just find a more secretive way of doing it.

57:50You just like go another layer deeper You get an extra phone and you only do it at work You do you know, there's always like a way to do it And if you can't trust someone to be honest with you of their own volition I think that that's really hard to come back from especially when the nature of what they're lying about is so anus so pulling it up on rare Reddit the top comment damn You just have to confront him and tell him everything you just told us What could possibly be his motivation? I always figured trolls were just lonely malcontents. Malcontents? I've never heard that one before. Yeah, malcontents.

58:27Someone responded to that. They are. They are also extremely insecure and like to project negative derogatory comments to others because that's how they feel about themselves. It's not something that can change overnight. It's how they view others and will require hours upon hours of therapy. Even if he does stop, The fact that he posts on multiple sites and various groups means it's something that will stick with him for a long time. OP has a troll in clothes at her residence. I cannot get over her saying his reaction is going to be, you need to toughen up and get a thicker skin. They're just comments.

59:02Like, what? No, and someone shares here too. They link a article. It's coming from Slate. It's titled, Internet Trolls Really Are Horrible People. and they basically summarize in their comment this. Trolling has been linked by psychologists to narcissism as well as sadism and psychopathic tendencies. Researchers have postulated that trolling is an expression of Latin narcissistic rage where a narcissist attacks and belittles others as a way of maintaining perceived superiority. I haven't read the article, no idea what it entails. I will be sure that we have it linked in the episode description.

59:43I'm definitely going to read it after this. But yeah, well, he's literally telling teenagers to kill themselves. A thing that teenagers famously will do, you know, like that's disgusting. A very volatile, emotional, insecure time in everybody's life. And it's like that is a you're not even just like saying mean things you like want harm to come to people well like he's on the brink of fatherhood yeah that's so scary how can you not like put yourself in these shoes now of like what i'm saying to other people if someone said this to my teenage daughter if someone said this like that is kind of scary where it's like he's about to be in those shoes and still isn't connecting the dots in his head yeah well it's not my daughter so ah doesn't matter and who even knows maybe he would troll his own daughter i've heard stories about that too like oh my god no there's been like only fan stuff yeah like the netflix doc this keeps coming up but like the netflix doc of the mom that like literally was harassing her daughter and trying to steal his boyfriend oh i was thinking about i was thinking about the story of the dad who was subscribed to his daughter's only fans and then he was like her biggest donator and then she found out about it mother what the fuck i'm sorry yeah Yeah.

1:00:56Yeah. That's a fucking jump scare. I know. Sorry. So. OP does respond to a few comments. Someone says you never suspected this kind of behavior based on how he interacts with you and others. That's extremely horrifying. He seems like he has a lot of pent up anger or resentment and is taking it out on people over the Internet. I think the best thing to do is talk to him about it. You're having a child with him and you can't just walk away from that. as horrifying of a discovery as this may be. But you need to be careful when you approach him. You weren't snooping. He left it open. He can't get mad at you for that, though I'm sure he will be extremely defensive.

1:01:36Update us and let us know you're okay. What? I'm sorry. That's a little tame of a response. You can't just walk away. You can. Just talk to him. What about this is terrible? You can walk away at any time. Sometimes, though, you don't just walk away and say you're leaving. you just do it in covert ways and you just leave because that is the safest way. Yeah. Also, like this was very minimal snooping. Like this might not even be the full extent of what she could find. There's no way. There's no way it's the full extent. Yeah. And this was easy to see. Yeah. OP responds, I don't intend on just walking away, but I am stunned and horrified at the kind of person he's showing himself to be, you know?

1:02:19Another commenter says, how would you know this when moderators in these subreddits delete those types of comments and subsequently ban the username. He's trolling on some heavily moderated places, so he can't be making frequent comments under one name. Do you have access to all of his troll accounts? OP said, there were comments up that he had just left that morning. That's how I know. And again, I think that speaks to the, you are not even seeing the full picture here. The hoes were just this morning? Just this morning. Oh my God. Yeah. So we do get an update. This update is coming eight days later.

1:02:56I confronted him about the issue very tamely over breakfast. I asked him flat out if he was harassing and bullying people online. He said yes and immediately withdrew. After telling him that I needed to know why, really why, not just I don't know, he said he needed time to think about it. When he finally gave me his answer, I was disappointed. He said he trolled and bullied people because it was an outlet for him to relieve stress. He said he didn't view the people as real or that what he was doing was anything other than a joke. And if it hurt feelings, quote, those people have bigger problems and it's not my fault.

1:03:36No, the teenagers kind of like don't like that can that can be like something that really becomes their biggest problem. in a really awful way. And yeah, it's very scary to say that the way you relieve stress is through harm. I think that, again, there's always a fear that that can escalate, especially if you're just now about to have a child with this person. That's often the time that a thing like that can happen. So yeah, huge red flag to be like, oh, it's just how I relieve stress is like telling people to kill themselves and like saying they're disgusting and ugly and that they'll never be loved.

1:04:13And And yeah, it's just how I, you know, it just makes me feel better. I'm nauseous. I'm absolutely nauseous over this. OP goes on to say, I told him that it wasn't an acceptable behavior of an adult and that he needed to stop it and find another way to express his frustrations that didn't involve hurting strangers. He said he would think about it. Oh. Unfortunately, he is still doing it. I saw it happening a few mornings back. And after he left, looked again to see more comments and posts. I was disappointed. This was not the man I married or so I thought, but I guess it is. I told him that we need to either go to counseling for this or start the separation process.

1:04:50I told him that I couldn't trust him to help raise a child if he speaks to strangers, children included, the way he does online. I let him know that I thought it was cowardly, pathetic, and that I have lost a lot of respect for him. I knew this would be abrasive and hurtful, and I don't like that I had to tell him that, but I cannot look at him the same way. We haven't had sex, have barely touched. I cannot see my husband as a loving, gentle man. I'm not afraid of him, but I am disgusted with this behavior. This is the sort of thing children do. I made an appointment for counseling for myself over this.

1:05:27Unfortunately, he told me that he wouldn't be going to counseling because there's nothing wrong with what he's doing, and he deserved to have his me time and release his emotions. Ah, scary, scary, scary, scary. This guy is scary. And because I want to protect my child myself, I have asked him to leave the house. He's staying with some friends, but I don't think this will lead to a reconciliation. I'd hope this story would have gone another way. I mean, and you know he's reading this post. He is on Reddit. I hope it was on the front page and he saw all the comments calling him a sicko. We do get another update.

1:06:09Really? It comes six months later. Oh, okay. Babies, babies here, babies three months old. So as you can see, it has been six months since this all started unfolding. Since then, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. She's the light of my life and she is one of the easiest babies I've ever been around. After one month of being apart, he contacted me and asked me if I would still be willing to enter into counseling regarding our situation. Of course, after being together for so long and us having a child, and my belief that marriage is not something to be taken lightly, I jumped at this. In counseling, it was revealed that he was doing a lot more than what I knew about.

1:06:49He was involved heavily in bullying people over the internet, and he said that this was his stress relief, that if people can't take it, then it's their problem, not his. He even admitted to being involved in taking pictures of fat women and posting them on Reddit, taking them from Tumblr, etc. In general, it was all worse than I had originally known. He moved to also doing individual therapy while still not living at home and us not meeting elsewhere. He then started to put his efforts elsewhere. He picked up a few new hobbies to release his tension to. What an idea. He then decided that he would stop, and we slowly merged our family together again.

1:07:30I was feeling happy, ecstatic really, that my daughter would have the life that she deserved. Unfortunately, he's still at it. After three weeks of being together and our lives seeming normal, I discovered from his friend that he was still harassing and bullying teenagers, fat women, etc. I have reason to believe that he is one of the individuals who bullied Lila Alcorn, as well as a few other trans teenagers. It broke my heart and solidified my decision. I tried to have one more counseling session to really get through to him, but he defended his actions as just the internet and not a big deal still.

1:08:09As of February, I filed for divorce. It broke my heart, and I wish there had been another way, but that's the end of the story. I can't be in a marriage with someone who is so cruel to children. I just, dot, dot, dot, dot, I can't. My daughter and I are moving to a smaller house closer to my family. She will be raised around many, many people who already love her. I mean, I guess that's a happy ending because when she said they were merging their lives back together, I got scared. I don't know. It's just that is a scary person there is a rage and a hate inside him and like a disregard for human life inside him that is like I don't yeah I think it would take more than a month of therapy I don't even know if therapy could do it like I think there's something I think he's maybe like rehab like rehab for?

1:09:08I think so. I don't know. I mean, he's, he's getting a dopamine hit off of this. I think there's, um, there's an article that came out from, I believe it was the cut that talked about like snark pages. And they said that people that participate in them do get hits of dopamine. I mean, you look at games like Candy Crush, even Candy Crush and why it was so big and addictive. It's dopamine, social media, dopamine. Like there's so many things that you wouldn't even correlate with these dopamine rushes, but that's what it is for him. It's, it's, it is genuinely, it's inexcusable. It is so disgusting.

1:09:45And it's, I, it's a, it seems like it's a wiring issue. I don't even know what else to say. Yeah. Whether or not he can ever even fix it. It's like, okay, well, that's not on you because also it's like, he could be good for a year and just start doing it. Like there's just such a evilness inside of him. And I, yeah, you wouldn't want that around you. You wouldn't want that around your daughter. It's scary. It's scary what he can hide from you. And I don't know how you would trust a person like that. No. From the first post, I was like, there's no coming back from this. And I think it is really sad.

1:10:18I didn't know about Lila Alcorn and looking just a little bit from headlines about her story. And she was an Ohio teenager who posted a suicide note on tumblr after and like if he like again like someone you find out that your husband's involved in something like that like and he doesn't stop even from that happening you have these are very real consequences and still says it's just an outlet like no he i want to just paddle prod electric just yeah there's not even a single moment where she's like saying he feels bad about it or saying like he he feel he had a moment of like wishing he hadn't hurt people there was a moment of him like saying he would try therapy to get back together which was a ploy yeah but he's still doing it it's never once been like yeah if i feel bad about it i i really shouldn't be doing this no he's a monster this is probably this is one of the worst ones i think i've ever read it's really fucked up this is probably worst of the worst it's really fucking scary yeah i'm so glad that like she has left him she has a community the divorce is finalized and she got out safely before things between them potentially became scary i would like bring the people he's harassed like over and make him look at them and like hear their testimony i don't know would a person like him even care i don't that's the thing genuine we haven't heard any yeah we haven't heard any remorse so I don't know genuine monster okay let's move on to this next one I hope everyone's hanging in there after that I know a bit of a doozy but he's evolving a little dark that one's a little little a lot of dark a lot of dark there this next one coming from r slash ask men it is titled shit stain after my third date what happens now boys here's one for you.

1:12:19Two days ago, I went on a chill dinner slash walk around the park date with this girl. It's our third date and things are going well. I can't say she's the one just yet, but we're vibing. We've hooked up once before, but didn't do much. After the date, we go back to my apartment and things get frisky. We didn't do anything too wild, but she ended up sleeping over with minimal clothes. I, of course, was butt naked. I knew she had to work in the morning, so she snuck out early and I have eyes opened to say goodbye. And then I went back to sleep. And when I woke up and rolled over, I noticed in the middle of the bed on my white sheets, a nice smear of a shit stain.

1:13:01Now, before you go on to blame her, it was me. I was gonna say, I wonder if it's a period, because sometimes periods can be more brown and like, I don't know. When you know, you know. It's been two days and I've heard very little from her. There are 101 reasons why that is, but I'm bugging that she woke up, saw my gift on the sheets, and has been disgusted ever since. Should I acknowledge it? Should I attempt to blame her? Oh, no. What? I hate this sub. Should I block her number and run? Oh my god. Only completely absurd advice requested, please. okay first of all so sorry to be intruding on this exclusive male space um i know you should have your safe places from women's opinions but women go here too to ask men for advice that's what i initially was like thinking it might be of like a you know i i don't have i i'm this is a thing that my boyfriend did or my dad did and i'm curious about like some women do pop in and be like, hey, coming from guys' perspective, is this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:14:10Okay. So it's typically geared towards a place to discuss men's experience or whatever. So did he shit himself or just not wipe well enough? It's giving didn't wipe. That's, you have got to figure that out. I think more boys need bidets. Yes. Let's get, that should be some promo. Bidet for boys. Boys for bidets. I could see that on a sign at a parade No it'd have to be like real gruff men Wipe their ass Real gruff men use bidets I think there needs to be a good PR movement Because have you seen This is just like I hate this video But it's typically on TikTok As a promotional tool to sell the bidets And you'll see people rub peanut butter Into carpet And they're like This is what it's like When you wipe your ass If you're a dude and you have hair You're just smushing the peanut butter into the carpet Can I tell you on my first podcast our first sponsor was a bidet And one of the ad read things was like If you got shit on your arm would wiping it make you feel clean enough?

1:15:15No So why would you do that with your ass? That is a great promotional tool I know That's a line I know That's a line So I think he needs a bidet and you can't do the wipes And I know a lot of people get the flushable wipes Wipes are not flushable Do not do that I found that out I found that out too The hard way, huh? No, just I'd been using them and then I found out later, but I was at a rental anyway. So it's like I don't really see the long term consequences of my actions in that way. Yeah. But someone will. So every now and again, we got to remind people wipes, tampons, not flushable. Yeah.

1:15:51Basic hygiene could have prevented this. Him being like, fellas, should I tell her it was her? Yeah. What? Let me gaslight her. Let me text you being like, hey, you shit on my bed. What? Also, you're a bed hog. Why wasn't in the middle if you're sleeping with another person? Maybe it happened after she left. Also, she's got some clothes on and you sleep butt naked. What happened to a pair of boxers, my guy? It's the third date. Clearly, you need them. Like, I don't want to be sleeping. And then all of a sudden, I just like my hands. Third date. No, no. Yeah. Keep your pants on. I don't like his vibe.

1:16:28I don't like his energy. Yeah. I'm not on board either. The line here where he's like, now before you go on to blame her, it was me. You know when you know. Like, do you feel like this is happening to him quite often? Maybe. I feel like when I was in college, I remember so many girls having experiences of men peeing themselves in bed. That has never happened to me. It hasn't happened to me. Well, to my knowledge, I guess, either. but but I do think that that happens a lot when guys are drunk now shitting oneself probably less likely but then you know if he doesn't wipe and he sleeps naked I of course this has happened before yeah he doesn't he doesn't clean up after himself and then he just puts himself on white sheets well no if this was happening a lot you'd think he'd maybe get some black sheets brown sheets brown yeah so from op's post history um again seemingly very real posting in r slash parenting severe anxiety about letting my kids sleep over at other people's houses is this common i would say yes so has a seven-year-old son runs his own marketing as a solo founder of a company.

1:17:49Okay. Yeah, that's cool. Look at you, boy boss. Just get a bidet for real. Just get a bidet. And don't try to pull fast one on women to blame them for your shit. Whoa. Look at that. Top comment on this one. Sweet Christ, lad. You shit the bed on the third date. There's no coming back from that. It's so funny how many poop puns. Yeah, like puns there are that this is yeah i really enjoy it next comment quite literally shit out of luck he really shit the bed on this one oh and put her in a shitty situation a situation a situationship oh my god wow we're so aligned shit happens me and that reddit user i'm just going down the line these are all like oh oh i see people punning punning together yeah yeah yeah we got a lot of creativity here this is officially shitty a shitty situation did anyone give him actual advice someone says this one does have a red box and a this award so maybe but they say don't say that there's always a chance just not with her you shit the bed bro cut ties and pray she didn't snap a pic before she left yeah i mean if you're did she really see though i can see her not seeing She maybe didn't see.

1:19:10I honestly feel like someone shitting themselves would be way less bad to me than them just like not having hygiene in their day to day life. Like because that can happen. And that's like out of someone's control, you know. So like there's a way to like kind of get over that. But if they just like live like that, then it's like, well, I feel like if there was more than one streak on the bed, then it's kind of cause for concern. But, you know, sometimes it just happens. Like maybe, you know. It sounded like the way he described it. And I hate to say this. It sounded like more than a smear. It sounded like a shart.

1:19:51Well, I think it was a shart because butts are really deep. Like, I don't know. Like where your butthole is, like for you to skid mark a bed, like that's unless you have like just a really you don't have a lot of cushion on your butt. Like that's deep in there. I feel like you'd really have to rub your butt. Yeah, you'd really have to like drag your ass across the bed like a dog on carpet. Like dogs, yeah. Yeah, like that's what I'm envisioning. And we've had a story in the past where I think it was on our bad hygiene episode very early on where someone like sat on the bed and did drag. And that's happened for me where like I thought my period was done and I don't know.

1:20:29You just get a little smudge. yeah but that is a period is a thing where you are actively leaking throughout the day and there's no control over when it just seeps out like there's no like you don't just like wipe it no you're at your period's mercy but i do think yeah i don't know this guy's entire hygienic situation i don't know how i don't know if he shat himself i don't know if he shit himself and i don't know if he just didn't wipe one of those but what i will say get a bidet and wear wear some boxers to bed or whatever. I don't know. I don't have a... Underwear. I don't have any strong feelings.

1:21:05Whatever tickles you fancy. There's another comment here. Coming from a female commenter, it actually has a badge under their username and they go, I actually had this happen once. We were pretty early on in staying the night together and soon after intimacy one night, it was discovered. I don't know for sure what happened and I didn't ask. I just calmly told him I had another set of clean sheets and we swapped them. It never happened again and I never found out why it happened then. He's a super good guy, though. I ended up marrying him, and we've been together just shy of a decade. There may be hope, just probably very little.

1:21:38Yeah, that's the thing is, like, I feel like I hear stories all the time of people dating and, like, a really crazy situation like that happening early on, and then they, like, get married. Like, I don't know, throw up on them or, like, do shit themselves or pee themselves in the bed or whatever and then it's like but you know we're in love now and they really took care of me in that moment it was really nice or i literally have the most horrendous story and i can't even share it well i can oh i can it's not about me it's quite literally not about me um but if you are eating lunch right now please skip skip ahead oh no skip skip skip like literally three minutes um so i have this friend that like lauren and i are are mutuals with and like not really anymore because of just like bad behavior on her part.

1:22:28But I actually recorded a podcast episode with her. It was supposed to be episode number four. Oh, you didn't post it. And I never posted it. And we just stopped being friends because of some bad behavior. And on her part. So she wasn't at your wedding? Was not at my wedding. And is no longer friends with basically the whole group of girls anymore because like she just was not a good friend. But literally we recorded an episode and she was like, yeah, like as I was 6 '9", with someone. My stomach was hurting. Okay. And... God be good to me. I can't. Her stomach hurt. Okay. She thought she would fart.

1:23:12Morgan. Uh-huh. My gentle ears. And they dated for quite some time after she did that. I don't know. Sometimes, like... I mean, on his face, in his mouth. Working like I threw up six hours ago. I'm so sorry. That's okay. You can hardly tell. We're going to get soup after this. It's going to be fine. Oh my God. Yeah. So like stuff happens and like they moved past it and dated for, I think she said like two years. But that's what I'm saying is like that's why I think shitting yourself is so much more forgivable than not wiping your ass so badly that you're leaving that now. So if he sharted, there's a chance.

1:23:54I think so. True skid mark. I would send her a text. Well, I don't know, because I guess there's a chance she didn't see it. She's not. Yeah, and she's not ignoring him. It's been two days. It's been two days, and I've heard very little from her. So not ghosting. Okay. Not ignoring. I'd go out and see. You know, maybe she's embarrassed. Maybe she thought it was her somehow through her underwear. How do you pry about something like that without saying it if they don't know already? Just being like, hey, I don't know. I feel like, okay, I feel like if someone was honest like this with me, it would probably make me like them more.

1:24:30Like, hey, I don't know if you saw something. I'm really embarrassed. That's never happened to me before. Such a silly accident. And it certainly wasn't your fault. I honestly, yeah, I don't know. I think there's a chance. There's a chance. I hope he keeps us posted. We have no update on this yet. But it is still relatively new, just coming from like two weeks ago now. And he's been posting since on r slash parenting and ask men again. So we could we could get an update on this one. I wish you well, buddy. Yeah. Hope you find love. Yeah. And wear some boxers to bed next time. And also, if she did see and thought it was her, I think you saying it was, I feel like she would be even less comfortable talking with you thinking it was her because if she saw it and thinks there's a chance it was her she knows you're gonna see it because it's your bed and it's your white sheets like it's a guarantee that you see it yeah so i think taking that off of her might make her feel more comfortable too i don't know i think so i hope we get an update yeah um what would have saved him though is a diaper this next one has to do with diapers okay transition hey this is coming from r slash relationships titled my boyfriend recently confessed that he likes to dress up as a baby sometimes and act and talk like one he has a secret room now he wants me to have weird creepy baby sex with me do i end it i feel very guilty and it's tearing me up I, 27 female, have known my boyfriend, 28 male, since we were 13.

1:26:14We've been together for five years. A week or so ago, he sat me down and said he had something he needed to tell me. He called my brother, their best friends, and asked him to be there for him for support when he confessed to me. My brother looked so uncomfortable. My boyfriend looked sad, afraid, and was green in the face. I thought someone was about to confess a murder or a gay affair. I would have preferred either of those, actually. My boyfriend confessed that since he was a kid, he has had a fascination with babies and has always felt sad that he couldn't be one, has always had urges to be a baby and act and talk like one.

1:26:55He told me that in his free time, he does all of this when he is alone. At first, I thought it was some kind of joke, as I didn't understand why my own brother had to be there for the conversation. I asked my brother to please leave so I could talk to my boyfriend, Jim. Then Jim got upset and teary and asked me if I still loved him. What? Now, I understand that everyone has quirks and fetishes, but I have never even heard of something like this. I've been Googling it and researching it, though, and I found an episode of Dr. Phil that talked about it. I told him that I wouldn't judge him. I just didn't really want to see that.

1:27:32What he does in his free time isn't my business, but I didn't want to see him like that. Jim was happy and agreed. Everything went back to normal, and I actually started to feel really happy that he had opened up to me, and I felt like our relationship was now more open. Then I began to notice my brother and Jim spending a weird amount of time together, talking on the phone, and hanging out. Then one night, I just felt very sad and kind of jealous. Jim hadn't really been talking to me like he used to. I confronted Jim and asked him why him and my brother had been spending so much time together the past few days.

1:28:07Jim said that my brother gets him and understands, doesn't judge him. I cry and tell Jim that I love and understand him very much, and I don't judge him and that I'm sorry for telling him that I don't want to see him as a baby. I tell him that I'm really sad that he hasn't been treating me the same since he told me and that he has been talking to my brother more. Jim says that my brother has seen something that I have never seen. At this point, I'm just hysterical. What kind of games is he playing? I ask Jim what he's talking about. Jim asks if I really do love him, and I shout that yes, I do love him.

1:28:49So the next day, Jim brings me to his house and into a room that I had never even really noticed before, as it's in the back of his house and kind of hidden. He shows me the room and says this is where he goes when he wants to be who he really is. The whole room looks like a baby's room. A crib, stuffed animals. I ask to look around and he says yes. I begin to look around and notice diapers. I was honestly so taken aback that I didn't really respond appropriately. I asked, what the fuck is this? Jim tells me he often wears diapers. I had never even considered that this was a possibility when he confessed to me.

1:29:26I should have responded better, but I was disgusted and Jim got upset and started crying and told me to get out of his room. I went home to collect myself and called him later that night and we talked for a long time. Things seemed to be resolved and we made many promises to each other. We have an active sex life. Never has Jim asked me to do anything even remotely weird in the bedroom, but last night Jim asked me if I would mind him dressing up as a baby the next time we had sex. I tried to be supportive, but told him that it would take me a while to get used to that. He then started begging me and saying that it's what he really wanted and that he would do it for me if the situation was reversed.

1:30:06I said, okay, we can try. So he puts on his baby stuff and we get into bed. He asked me to start rubbing him and cooing to him, quote, tell me you love me and would never hurt me and all of this other weird stuff. He wanted me to say, shh, baby, and undo his onesie and touch him. At this point, I couldn't go on and said that I had to stop. I got up from the bed and went into the bathroom. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I threw up and started crying. I've known Jim for so long and I've loved him with all of my heart. He was there for me when my dad died and there for me when I graduated college and there for me when I got my dream job.

1:30:44He has always supported me no matter what. I felt horrible that I have trouble supporting him through this. I feel like the worst girlfriend on the planet. I want to support Jim and let him know that I'm really trying here, but lately I haven't been able to find comforting words. I feel like I've gone about this all wrong. But then, a part of me does not want this relationship anymore. Whenever I look at him, it's not the same anymore. It's tearing me apart. I'm having trouble remembering the love. Instead, I feel like I've lost the real Jim that I've always known and loved. Like he died and has been replaced by a new Jim.

1:31:21To make it worse, my brother has been very mean to me, saying I'm a bad girlfriend. He's even called me over 40 times since last night, leaving voicemails on my phone that I'm a bad, unsupportive girlfriend and that he is ashamed to be my brother. Can someone help me? Do I fight for this relationship? Do I end it? How do I deal with all these new doubts? How do I explain properly my feelings to Jim? I'm terrible with words. How can I explain my point of view to my brother? Thanks in advance if you answer this. I feel like this isn't like the rarest kink in the world. Like I definitely have seen this in media and like heard that this is a thing.

1:32:08I literally just shared a video on the Two Outtakes Instagram that was an investigative story talking about this. And it was interesting at the end where people were like, how'd you discover this fetish of yours? And they were like, read it. And I was like, interesting. Sorry, do go on. No, but I was just going to say with that said, like, I'm not super knowledgeable on like what gives a person this fetish. And like what I will say is that it did sound like he was forcing her into a kind of pedophilic dynamic with the way that the sexual interaction ended up going down. Yeah. And I think that, I mean, that's why she threw up and like felt so disgusted with herself.

1:32:50Well, you do make an interesting point here because there is a thread where someone says what OP says, they quote it. He would do it for me if the situation was reversed. And they go, this is straight up manipulation. Regardless of the fetish, it's not okay to guilt your partner into doing something for you just because they'd do it for you. It's not about a fetish. This is about the fact that your boyfriend has absolutely no problem in using manipulative catchphrases to get you into doing things that are uncomfortable. This is backed up by the fact that he has sufficiently manipulated your brother against you as well Frankly, whatever the fetish it's irrelevant.

1:33:24His approach is never ever okay This is someone you want to get out of your life pronto He will blame it on the baby fetish and complain that you're bigoted and judgmental and that's okay You know the reason why you're ending it and that's all that matters And op responds and says yes when he said that to me I just felt horrible and like I should be supporting him 100 % but it was just so hard for me It felt like I was some sort of child molester even though jim is not really a baby But still I don't know. I have been trying to get used to the idea And someone responds honey, you don't have to get used to the idea if it makes you uncomfortable.

1:34:03You don't do it It's that simple He cannot make you do something sexual that you don't want to we all know what that's called an OP response. Thank you very much. Yeah, I think that that's why it's so sticky for us feeling like talking about it even because there's fantasy, which technically doesn't hurt anybody, but then it's like, are all fantasies okay? And I guess that's this like moral thing where it's like, yeah, hearing those words, a lot of us are very uncomfortable. And I don't know enough about this. I've seen like there's now studies coming out on this. When I started looking into it, it's typically called ABDL, adult baby diaper lover or age play.

1:34:47Yeah, age play is a fan. I don't like that either. It's a safe, legal, consensual form. Like as long as it is consensual. But it's essentially like they're trying to derive emotional comfort, stress relief, whatever. Like so this is now being really studied. Mm-hmm. And I think the first time it was documented was like the 60s, but there's a bunch of different things like adult babies, diaper lovers, caregiver little dynamics. The common motivations are stress relief, escapism, emotional comfort. So I don't like - Sure. I don't like, I will say like there is a thing where people are like, it is decidedly separate from pedophilia.

1:35:25Like psychologists are really trying to establish that it seems. And I know there's like a big, I don't know, I feel like online there's a lot of discourse of like don't kink shame i don't feel like it's necessarily kink shaming just to be like what he's doing with the partner isn't right and like it's not really about the diaper and the baby stuff it's like coercing your partner into doing stuff that they're not comfortable with and not into and recruiting the brother is so weird the way he's gone about it and like having a kink is one thing but i also think if you have a kink that is so out there like you have to have a little understanding of this is going to take my partner time.

1:36:04They're not really into this. Like this is a very unique thing that I'm into that, you know, would be amazing if she participated in, but like she's not required to. Be open and transparent up front. But instead he's like being mad at her and like manipulative. Yeah. Yeah. Very coercive, judgmental, like towards her. Yeah. Again, sticky, like you said. And it would make her feel very icky to continue doing that. clearly from how she said it. Based on what she's saying, absolutely. Like this goes against what you're into and what you feel. And there's nothing wrong with that. Break up. Like there's no other way forward.

1:36:41You're not right. You're not a match. I also just think the way that he's handled, he and the brother have handled the brother situation has been very weird to like, like how are these conversations coming across with each other? It almost feels like she's the bad guy in their conversations. and it's just like you haven't you didn't give her a chance initially and then she was accepting of it just you know understandably she wasn't into it so again she's trying everything she can to like support this whole thing I feel like she's giving it a fair shake she saw the room she like started the process with him rubbed his belly and she's trying she really did try because of her love for him and now you've just gotten to this point where it's like she's not on board.

1:37:29This is not what she finds. And now she's the bad guy to her brother. No. I'm ashamed that you're my sister. I'm almost wondering if the brother has been involved with him in the past. It feels that way. And is like almost like offended that she has such a hard time with it because maybe he doesn't. I definitely think he has the same kink. I could see the brother that's what I'm saying. Like I could see the brother and the boyfriend. Maybe he was gonna also admit it in that conversation but he kind of like chickened out. and that's why he was there yeah like they were both gonna say it and it was gonna be like okay we'll both tell her and then it'll be less weird it's it's odd the commenters kind of really pick apart on that too about the brother someone quotes the fact that he called op like 40 times and they go what what the sweet holy living fuck is wrong with your brother that's actually the weirdest part out of all of this to me who does that pressures their sister in a fetish play Ugh.

1:38:27You don't need to explain a goddamn thing about your reaction to your brother. The fact that he's even demanding an explanation is so far beyond inappropriate, I don't have words for it. The only thing your brother deserves is a come-to-Jesus talk that he is to never get this involved in your sex life again. Getting into the issue of your boyfriend's fetish, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but there's also nothing wrong with you for not wanting to be a part of it. I think you would be best served treating this like any other sexual incompatibility. It's okay for him to want what he wants, and it's okay for you to not want what you don't want.

1:38:58I don't want to say your relationship is over. That's for you two to determine. But this may have the ending that you are respectful of your boyfriend's needs while being realistic about the fact that you will not be the one to meet them. Yeah, they're also like only kind of coming down on the brother for that of like, he shouldn't be getting involved in your sex life, but also the boyfriend shouldn't be texting the brother about their sex life and giving him the details for him to know about it. Lack of boundaries. Yeah. Weird, weird dynamic. And again, people just pick up on that. Like, it's a sucky move by using your brother to coerce or pressure you into this fetish.

1:39:36You tried. It's just not your thing. Don't go guilt tripping yourself. You shouldn't be pressured into anything. And like, I think that's like the main point too. Like, everyone is going to do what pleases them and gets their rocks off. but like you don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable yeah the hot part about sex is two people that are fully consenting and making that decision to fuck around in fun ways together explore whatever but if one person is uncomfortable how is that fun exactly like that's not fun so just I like the fact that someone says like treat it as any other sexual incompatibility yeah because like that's the case like I've slept with people and like we just don't fit right together we don't mesh we have different styles and like that's okay but it's sad because they did before so it's like damn yeah or did they really did they really or was that kind of performative I don't know I guess I'm just taking her word for yeah I mean she does say we have an active sex life yeah so yeah it is interesting how it's like I wonder if something's shifted with him where it's like he now needs this more and more the brother validating him that it's like yeah important for him I do I think you're spot on though that I think there's some other involvement there like where the brother is into this as well or like yeah maybe they've done stuff together like it does feel they've certainly talked about it already because like the brother knew before she did yeah which is also why is my why did you how did it even come up between you and my brother how did you like it's weird to have this bond with each other but then also what was the first moment one of you disclose this with the other and why did you feel comfortable doing that i could so see it just they got super high one night and he's like dude something crazy i never thought i'd admit this like i like dressing up as a baby like i could just see it coming out super i guess the other guys like me too me too bro yeah what does that look like curious i want to try like who knows but either way unhealthy boundaries here and honestly i'd consider going low contact no contact with my brother and i think you have to kind of talk with your boyfriend and just be like i love you but this isn't working anymore yeah oh craziness she kind of summed that up at the end too being like i don't look at him the same so you know in your heart you know and can only do what would make sense for your life and how you feel can't stay with someone because you feel bad yeah that's not fair to either of you no well good luck let us know guys i'm you know let us know chime in in the comments like where does it come from what is the you know i could see you you're a curious cat like lauren i'm probably gonna look you're gonna go watch a little documentary on this yeah get into the dsm-5 it's in there oh i'm sure yeah i think usually when i've heard of this kink it's been like these ceo men who were like so in control in their everyday life that the way they get their rocks off is going home putting on a diaper and getting spanked yeah i just saw a video from a dominatrix who gets paid a thousand dollars an hour wow to like spank and whatever they want i guess i guess that's different though because one would be this this guy seems interested in the coddling and the sweetness of it right and then but that's so that's different from like this punishment i'm sure there's a dominatrix for the baby stuff though that's kind of what the video i saw was about this woman who gets paid to be the caregiver.

1:43:10Yeah. All right. I mean, hey. There's someone out there for everyone. I truly believe that. There's a right shoe to everyone's, to someone's left or whatever that saying is. Yeah. Find your person. At the end of the day, just find your person. Find your mommy. Whatever you want. Maybe. I don't know. Yeah. I'm not one to say. It's a path that each and every one of us will have to go down and discover. But okay, off to this next one. It's coming from Relationship Advice, seven days old, titled Married, 38 Male, Yet Fell in Love with My Neighbor, 31 Female. I've been married for 16 years, with my wife since we were 14.

1:43:50We have a couple of kids, and a new neighbor moved in with her boyfriend. They have a kid, our kids play. It's gotten to the point where we see each other every day. She's the last person I think about before bed, and the first person each day. We just went on a family overnight to a water park, hers and mine. Basically, our lives are intertwined at this point. We have just about everything in common and very much enjoy each other. My issue is I don't want to and will not cheat, parentheses, physically, but that's not because of my morals. It's because I see a future with her and I don't want that to be our start.

1:44:34I'm effed. Thoughts? Oh my God. Heartbreak. Heartbreak for the wife. First of all, does this girl have any idea she's in a relationship, she's got a kid, she might not have the foggiest clue. He's already like 10 steps ahead being like, I'm not gonna cheat with her while I'm with my wife still because I don't want our incredible, beautiful future to be tarnished by that. And she's like, yep, that's my neighbor. No it's probably It's probably so Unreciprocated And then that's more Embarrassing too I feel like for The wife and this is I mean similar to The other story we read about like the cheating And then getting rejected and coming back It's like oh my god I had a friend Whose ex tried to cheat on her But the girls didn't reply and then He'd be like well like I didn't cheat on you And she's like this is more embarrassing It's more embarrassing saying, oh, yeah, I don't think she knows.

1:45:34I can't imagine her knowing. Well, I think he would like give an example of a moment they've had together if they'd been having moments together, you know? I mean, the one girl that was in love with her manager and was like, should I tell him? I mean, they at least had a brush of a sleeve. Like she's got a sleeve brush on this guy. Maybe something like at the water park. I doubt there's anything. I think he's just obsessed. Yeah, he's obsessed. Like, he is in love with her. Yeah. And he also hasn't said anything about her personality in this post. He's not like, she's so funny. We have this in common.

1:46:12Like, she makes me feel this way. She's a breath of fresh air. Like, I don't know. There's just, I love her. I love her and we're going to have a future together. And I don't want to cheat on my wife because I love her so much. Yeah. No, he's like, we've got just about everything in common. Oh, okay. Well. That's very surface, though. Yeah, I doubt it. And also, like, as you meet someone and you're making friends, like, you're going to, of course, be like, yeah, I love that, too. Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, my God. They do that on Love is Blind all the time. They'll be like, you also love Christmas. I love Christmas.

1:46:42I've never met. I've never met anybody else who loves Christmas. Oh, my God. What are the chances that we love Christmas? The one line here that really threw me for a loop, though. my issue is I don't want to and will not cheat and for him to put then parentheses physically so you'll cheat emotionally yeah which for a lot of people is worse to me yeah I'm like an emotional affair feels worse than just like a one-night stand I mean especially in this context of like we're all hanging out as couples as families together I know her like me saying I'm the wife in the situation. I know her like this has been happening under my nose.

1:47:25And yeah, to hear that your husband isn't going to cheat on you, not because of his dedication to you, but because he does he loves this other woman so much and doesn't want the way that their beginning looks like to be anything less than like beautiful and perfect is awful. Yeah, it's more about like the optics for people. The top comment on this one, obsession. That's the word you seem to be looking for here. Yeah. Next comment down, limerence is the word. Dude's about to blow up his whole life. That one fits better. Hadn't run into that word before. Thank you. And yeah, I feel for the wife and kids sitting on a ticking time bomb like that.

1:48:06Makes me almost hope that this is rage bait. OP has since deleted his entire Reddit account which Really? Sometimes when people do that it actually makes me feel like it's more real because he's like Oh my god, I need this gone This can't be connected to me in any way Delete account Not just delete the post Delete account Honestly, I feel like he tried something got rejected was so embarrassed deleted any trace of it God, do you think if a situation like that happens that the girl should tell his wife? Yeah it sucks it's gonna make things awkward going forward especially your neighbors like do they own their homes are they just renting if I was the neighbor and like this dude confessed feelings to me I'd oh my god I would want to move so bad of course be so weirded out also it's like if it does blow up his life he could have resentment toward you about it yeah and like have now this that love could turn into anger and like hate and animosity and now he's your next door neighbor but i think yeah i agree with you about telling someone is that a bug no no

1:49:18about telling the wife because i think like that one comment said about him being a ticking time bomb i think that that's like a very apt way of looking at it i agree because i don't think this is like a if it's gonna go wrong i think it's when it's gonna go wrong and how bad yeah i do want to give people the definition of limerence i know we've mentioned it before on another story but limerence is an intense involuntary state of obsession infatuation and emotional dependence on another person driven largely by uncertainty and the desire for reciprocation we have that in um the story of the woman cheating with the guy the guy at the gym the her train oh my god or wanting to cheat with the trainer that's where it came up and the trainer didn't like her back i think the trainer was like what the hell no like yeah dude she's sending me nudes yeah i was like that was a really crazy one too totally one-sided obsession thing talk about a jump scare there that was wild a lot of affairs going on i know and why why turn to reddit it's also so embarrassing because in all three of the affair stories like the two today and the one that we just referenced, the person who cheated was then not fully wanted by the person they cheated with or like attempted to cheat with, I guess.

1:50:32I wonder if there's stats out there because I feel like that's more common than not. Yeah. Then like them actually getting married and ending up together. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that being more common of like, it's just not reciprocated. And yeah. Okay. Damn. I wish we could know a little bit more about the girls side of things and like if there's actually anything there or not maybe i doubt it she's out there maybe she'll see it oh my god if you're out there please if you yeah i feel like it's a pretty identifying story like the trip that they went on together yeah and you're like you're sitting there listening to the story and you're like oh my god yeah we just went to the great wolf lodge huh the ages are in it yeah yeah that's ringing a bell new neighbor kids great wolf lodge please dm us yeah this is me that's all we got on jump scare i hope you all are okay out there i don't think michaela is um we will have some more stories from patreon michaela's probably thinking i don't want to be a part of that listen i'm partially horrified partially like was i too harsh like is there is this really coming from you know like an okay place and i've been too hasty with judgment or is this really coming from you know a place i don't like but but and so I'm gonna be messing defer to you guys you know I'll go home tonight I'll sleep on it I'll read comments and figure it out go from there thank you guys so much for being here another episode until next time bye bye

1:52:20Thank you.