Colton Underwood & Jordan C. Brown on male infertility, IVF & daddyhood

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0:32Today, we are in Sherman Oaks. Do we call this LA? Yeah. Yeah, we're LA. We're in the valley. You can send your mail to LA or Sherman Oaks. It'll still get here. If you put it on the - Yeah. Los Angeles. How about that? Still Sherman Oaks. Okay. And today, we have two very good guests that we are so excited about. Colton and Jordan Brown Underwood. Yes. Hyphenated. Yes. Jordan C. Brown. Oh, thanks. Yeah. I saw that on Instagram. I love the C. What's the C for? Christopher. Okay. You want to know why I use the C? Yeah. The youngest person to ever be convicted of murder in the United States of America is named Jordan Brown.

1:09That sucks. Yeah, it sucks. But Jordan C. Brown is an outstanding citizen. Now, Jordan C. Brown, that's our guy. And is it hyphenated Brown Underwood? We keep our last names are still the same. But our family name, obviously, yes, is Brown hyphen. Yeah. And then Underwood. Okay. And why did you do it that way? because B is first in the alphabet. I think it just flows better. We like said it out loud. Just sort of similar when you're picking baby names. We like sort of like yelled it and just wanted to hear. Actually, I do. I kind of remember you wondering which would look better on the back of a jersey.

1:43That too. I was thinking like football wise, like, I mean, obviously it's going to be a long last name no matter what, but like, how is it going to look? Yeah. So Brown Underwood just, I think, is more of like the All-American scholarship potential. And that's important to think about. when you're doing it. For sure. For sure. I see it. Does Bishop have a middle name? So, okay, wait, hold on. Let me tell the listener this really quick. Why we were so excited about this interview is because their son Bishop was born September 26th, 2024. Yeah. And Tater Tot, our daughter's name is Tate. She's September 17th.

2:18So they're a week apart. It's amazing. It was. And when I read it, I was like, oh, Bishop's a year older because it was 24. And then I was like, no. Same. 24. It's flown by. 10 months old it's wild but yes bishop does have a middle name okay and it's colton that's our family tradition so the firstborn gets the father's name dropped to their middle name so like my dad's scott i'm colton scott okay so that's very cool we decided to keep my one of my family traditions going we did um we got like very lucky with this so similar guys little different yeah uh we wanted our middle name to have family lineage um and so tate's middle name is francis okay and her um late grandmother who recently passed away her name is francis and my great grandmother was named francis oh that's amazing and so like it it serendipitously worked out really well and like over i think when we first heard the name it didn't necessarily click but like as we thought about it loved it and then serendipitously again what we just realized is another family member that we each respectively looked up to had the same name so for baby two we already have that bag but we have not told anyone yeah who that family member is we will that mistake the first time yeah did you say the name oh yeah and then people had opinions and we were like why did we say i know because we didn't change well they say that's why so we didn't say our name because somebody told me a long time ago she had the name of her kid told people and then would see the look on their face and it like wasn't so that happened to you guys yeah yeah oh yeah people are like wait what are you that's like a position in a church or like you're naming him after a chess piece like yeah it was like that or my personal favorite where i i rolled back would be like well what do you think about and they would give us another name and we're like we just told you what name we're thinking about why are you inserting another name for us we have a really close friend who named that they named their daughter francis and she goes by frankie which i think is so cute can i tell like a funny yeah jordan c brown oh yeah name yeah i knew a guy know a guy uh and very nice guy very successful guy his name is jeff epstein oh jeffrey epstein oh that's way worse that is so the perspective that that has been a yeah at least now if he's emailing people they know it's not him savage but true it was just like one of those honestly though if you're gonna take digs at anybody in our country right now that's the one to like we'll just give it to him every time like you think that that new story fades and it comes back i'm just like i didn't go this guy who's like done everything right everything the right way and now that's just like poor guy despite all of his accomplishments while there are many yeah yeah okay let's do now i want to go i want to go to intros really quickly oh yes um because we forgot that part okay so colton yes we know you from the bachelor yeah but now dad also also going going to be a host of a new TV show.

5:35Yes. Do you want to plug that? Yeah. Um, Are You My First is going to be out on Hulu on August 18th. It is, it was an honor to, to host that show with Caitlin Bristow. So exciting. And we have 20 plus virgins for everyone to meet and we help them date. And, and it was a full circle moment for me because my virginity was a storyline that I really didn't want to lead with during my bachelor run. Um, for reasons that are now obvious, like I was struggling with my sexuality. So I like didn't really want people to pry into that. And I always found the topic of virginity so interesting because it sort of consumed a lot of like the dates and time that I spent when I was dating women.

6:17So for all of these virgins to come to one place to date without having to feel that shame or stigma that was going to come up on the sort of similar to sharing your baby name, right? Like you can share your virgin, you could just see sort of like the tone or the vibe shift in a date. It's happened to me. So for us to provide this space for these virgins to date without shame, to date without stigma, to push boundaries, just to see like, how does it feel in a safe way? Knowing like that other person has something in common with you was so special. And I'm really excited for America to meet these people.

6:50It's going to be great. Sounds, sounds super interesting. Can you share more and totally understand if you can't about like the the setup of the show and how i can't quite yet just because we haven't like fully gone into everything and and um but i will just say it it was a format that made just a lot of sense and it's from the creators of uh love island and so it's it's the same sort of you know similar vibe and one of the best productions i've been a part of i'm doing a lot more producing these days and creating and the showrunner Peter Geist is a friend of ours and also just an A plus human being and really took a lot of pride in taking care of the contestants, which if you know anything about my story and what I've been through is the most important thing to me when I sign up to do a project professionally and just making sure that everybody who came to be vulnerable and to share their lives with America is taken care of during, you know, in between and post show.

7:47Yeah, that's incredible. That's something that I think like would be so scary yeah right because you like agree to put yourself out there and then you watch it back and you're like you have to trust people and and that's not an easy it's not an easy thing to do no that's that's i can't wait to watch the show it's gonna be great it'll be fun yeah so good okay and so and then you're doing tv producing i'm doing a lot more producing these days um hosting the daddyhood podcast which is parenting as well but um it's yeah i sort of am in a flow in a really good place in my career where I feel like I sort of now haven't figured out.

8:21You know, I came into the entertainment industry straight out of football, fell into The Bachelor, did three seasons back to back to back. It was sort of like a shock of like, okay, now what? What's what is my career? I'm not I don't want to be like a typical influencer. I love the entertainment industry. I love being in front of the camera. I love being behind the camera. How do I make this my career? And I feel like I have a really good grasp on how to do that now and I'm really enjoying the work that I'm doing. That's funny. They say like whenever you have, whenever like your family forms and whenever you have like the kid, I always thought like being a mom would take me away from the career.

8:57And I feel similar to you. Like, I'm like, okay, everything's starting to come into focus. And it's funny whenever like the family piece comes, it all clicks at one time. Totally. Yeah. Busy year of our lives. Yeah. Huge year for you guys. Okay, Jordan, are you a political strategist? Yeah. Okay, can you elaborate? Tell us. Well, I'm maybe a retiring political strategist. I've been doing it for 20 years since I was in college. But I've worked on like four presidential campaigns. You know, things aren't going great for the Democrats right now, you may have heard. No, tell us. And I think I just, it's sort of like, you know, it's important to me to be part of making our country better because we have a child.

9:38and making but i also am like i need to tap out for a minute i think and so when we had our son i was sort of surprised because it was right before the election and it just you know as you know like your your priorities just really shift you're like i don't care about these like three zooms right now like i want to be with my kid and so over the last 10 months since we had bishop we have i think talked a lot about how to do more together uh carve out more time for our family and sort of reorganize our lives so that you know work can be different his work often looks like him being away for you know he just did traders where he was in a castle in scotland for a month you know so as that kind of thing happens like i would like to be able to bring our family you know so we're not like apart for three four six weeks oh like go over there yeah or that's really cool so like being able to work more for ourselves and remotely we're working on some things together We're doing the Daddyhood podcast, season two.

10:37And yeah, and have some producing projects in play as well. Yeah. That's awesome. More of a team effort now. Because we were similar to you where I sort of always joke when we first started dating and then got married that I entertain the world. He helps fix it. Yeah, that's good. You know, now, I mean, he still very much is in fixing things. But I do think there's, you know, for us, there's a role that we can play that is both where we can entertain America and we can also help just show up for who we are, who our community is as parents and just as human beings. Before. OK, so we're going to get heavy into parenting.

11:17But before, will you tell us mainly this one who's like dying to know the love story? Oh, yeah. yeah you want to take a shot at it i've told it a few times sure okay so i mean it was just the kind of thing that in no world did either of us think that anything serious was going to happen um we you know he had just come out which you know for someone who has been out for a while like is like the red like any therapist would be like what are you what are you doing like this person is not going to be ready for like a real like they need some time um and i had recently got you know was getting out of a long-term relationship and we um just connected and we we met um at his netflix wrap party um one of my best friends was dating the former olympic olympic um skier gus canworthy who's one of the most well-known out gay athletes in in the world he helped me come out and so that's he was a part of the netflix project oh that's awesome yeah so he hosted like a mixer for me yeah and then you know he was like come by and have a drink with this guy i didn't know who colton was i hadn't watched you know there are other reality shows i like i had never watched any of the bachelor shows um but i i showed up and they like tried to get me to like take a covid test and put a mic back on i was like i'm here for like a cocktail i'm swinging by there so i texted my friend i was like i'm out they're like come back you don't have to like do the show part and i came back and we met and it was just like you know there were 50 people there and we like chatted for a few minutes um and of course i thought he was the most beautiful person i'd ever seen in my entire life in person uh and then we went on a group trip up again coincidentally um over memorial day this was 2021 and like you know that's when i will say this went down for in like the highlight part of the love story is it was pouring raining in in p-town and we were it was june so we had only packed like swimsuits tank tops like shirts sweatshirts and stuff we're like it's the first week in the summer at provincetown okay okay okay i didn't know so it's like uh sort of like a gay mecca like it's a gay destination yeah um and it's pouring rain and we're sitting in the house like getting ready sort of pre-gaming to go out and i'm sort of like a little overwhelmed because there's like it's my first sort of trip with like a lot of gay men and he sort of could sense like okay like i'm gonna just get you out of here for a second and he took me he's like do you want to go for a walk and i was like it was pouring rain so we go for a walk and it was raining sideways it was 45 degrees outside and he kisses me in the rain so it was very sweet it was very sweet and then is the rest history well the rest is i'm like okay at sports and like exercise type things i'm like okay like i can play tennis you know like i do think i hike but he was like do you want to go to my hotel and i was like this town doesn't have uber there it is i mean the kind of rain that you're like a little worried you know you're like is this like is there gonna be a flood and and i was like what's sure but like what's your plan he's like let's just run no okay so picture like like the worst storm you've ever been in.

14:31I think there was even lightning and it was like more than a mile for sure. Like I blacked out. Just like a quick little jog. It's like it's like six minutes if we do it fast. He did great. He did great. Actually, yeah. It's amazing what you can, you know, your body can do. When you want to. You really push it. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. Do you guys remember summertime as a kid? I do because I would go start a lemonade stand just so I could make enough money to be able to go to Build-A-Bear, which is where the Greenlight app comes in because with school out, summer is the perfect time to teach your kids real-world money skills they'll use forever.

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15:46Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills. Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at greenlight.com slash two parents. That's greenlight.com slash two parents to get started. Greenlight.com slash two parents. Funny enough, we just, on the first kiss topic, on Thursday, we went back to the place where we had our first date and our first kiss. And it's the Balloon Museum. I don't know if you guys have been. No. Where we're at. It travels. It travels. new york okay and there's but it was in austin because it travels got it got it and they have a massive ball pit like the size of this like entire kind of building and uh it's super dark uh with like all the balls are black and swanky we were in the ball pit and we had our first kiss so it wasn't rain but a ball pit's a cool place to have a first it felt it felt right and yeah yes yeah you go for it when it's from there yeah when it feels right but we i was thinking that ball pit seemed a lot cooler the first time the second time i was like this is like it's kind of funny when you're in that moment how everything is a lot more like romanticized and then as opposed to the second like you probably wouldn't catch us these days kissing in the rain but like you're right in the moment for the first time it's very yeah now that you're a parent you're like what kind of germs are in this ball pit yeah i was looking at that i was like are you guys germaphobe parents like if something fall if the pacifier falls on the ground what are you doing oh no just put it back in like blowing it that's what we do well we put it in our mouth and then i have a theory that like i don't mind introducing like bacteria to him at a younger age like germs so that he can build his immunity system up i think the bubble kids are setting themselves up our kid also doesn't like a pacifier he's just like not into it at all so that's nice i just want to build the immune immunity system so yeah i'm we're we very much operate on on on that mindset germs are good i wish we were like japanese because i mean how chic is it to just like take off your shoes when you get inside and have slippers and like every instagramer i'll ever see that's like there are 32 bajillion things on the bottom of your foot every day when you walk in the house and our kid is like crawling around but it just feels for whatever reason it's like impractical or like you know you then like a package comes and you're like where are my shoes I need you know so yeah we've been pretty chill about his playroom we don't have is kind of separate and no shoes in there and that's kind of our compromise and and also in his nursery we take our shoes like there's no shoes on his carpet in there too so you guys are better than us we're pretty good there's no better yeah there's no you're right you know what thank you for that yeah that's a theme of this there's no no one's doing it better there's pros and cons it'd be cool if we took our shoes off for the playroom but we don't get there yeah to keep to keep the guys if this was a double date what i would want to ask now would be have you been to japan only once yeah i have not i would love to go back i want to take her so badly i've just so badly it's that's a real bucket list yeah and by the way like again another amazing like some like four season destination because you can go skiing there they have the cherry blossoms i want to do the cherry blossoms so bad yeah you're wearing kind of the cherry blossom color right now before having a girl i wore a lot of neutral colors and now i like identify heavily with pink oh did can we you can cut this i don't know if this is allowed did you pick the gender no we actually we've talked about this too okay well i don't know if we have it's okay i don't care um all of our embryos are boys no way yeah so we don't even have it like be like well what are you gonna do next they tell us in genetic testing like all of them were boys we wanted a girl we did want a girl but But with IVF, there's like the gauntlet.

19:34You have like this many eggs that make this many embryos and then this many are healthy and this many get sent to genetic testing. And then this many are like - I kept saying through the process too, I kept like, I don't want to play God. So I don't want to try to like - And we felt the same. So like whatever was given to us was meant to be. And that's sort of how we operated. Can we just like go back like one or two steps? Because - How'd you go from kissing in the rain to fertility? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it's more like we, like, I'd love to understand what the, like, the process looks like. Two years.

20:10Yeah, like, from time and, yeah, like, from the beginning. Because this, you know, is, we were, yeah. And you guys started before you got married. Yeah, just a little. We were engaged. we were engaged and then yeah we got legally married about almost a year before our wedding yeah it was when the Supreme Court overturned Roe vs. Wade and one of the justices said like we also think that like maybe there was like an implication that they would be looking at marriage equality next to not honor certain marriages so and California is like the best state for fertility in the country in terms of the laws it's just the most sort of like it was a lot of the procedures and stuff were invented here so yeah we were engaged so we started the process took two years about 12 people probably in total that it was on our fertility team between like doctors lawyers nurses all of the specialists that have to sort of go through it and then the reason it took longer for us too is because when we first went in for our sample collection i didn't have any active sperm so i all of my sperm were dead um because I was truly baking them because I spent a lot of time in baths, hot tubs, steam room, saunas.

21:30I worked out more than four times a day. I was taking not a day or four times a week, taking testosterone. So pretty much everything that I could do to kill my sperm I was doing. So I had to go into sperm rehab for six months. Do you think people know that? A lot of men don't bake sperm like you could like the sperm's made every three months. So a lot of people don't know that either. you just think since like we can make a lot of semen sorry um that you think it's just like full of sperm but sperm's actually produced every three months well it takes a while yeah i thought it was even longer i thought it was like no it's about it's about yeah um but yeah you can i mean that's it's kind of why you got the balls you know because they can go up and down i didn't know they're like trying to get away yeah most men don't and then after i came out I did this article with men's health talking about my sperm journey and so many men, including straight men in my life, sort of sheepishly and with shame was like, Hey, I'm so glad you're talking about me too.

22:28When we first started, I, for two years, we sort of blamed my wife and then I got tested and it was me. And that's what I always now like to say to people is like, men are 50 % of the equation for most traditional fertility. So if, you know, you're going into your gynecologist and getting ready to do fertility i always encourage men to go get their numbers tested as well just so like you have all of the data till it makes a ton of sense wait so but if so when you learn that your sperm is baked like it's non-existent you go into sperm rehab for six months and then there's no place to go in but yes yes there's like rehab because like it was truly and bless him he did not have to he had 55 million sperm is what i was told um he helped change our life because it was like i enjoyed getting in the coffee getting in the hot tub every morning with my coffee that's how i started my day and he sort of helped make changes with me to like and there's male prenatals which a lot of people don't know so it's like i even tell people who don't have fertility problems like my friends who are like we want to have a baby in the next year or two like take the prenatals for a few months it's going to make everything healthier and yeah um it's really funny though it's called again invented in la by some doctor in beverly hills but it's a supplement called alpha sperm and you can take it and now it's just pills yeah like like prenatals that you probably took when you were pregnant yeah they they have a lot of the same stuff in them but there's some different things for men wow yeah it truly is though it is 50 50 yeah okay so so then that delays the process delays the process yeah but all at the same time you know we're getting matched with our surrogate and our egg donor which are two incredibly different women and they're both, they were both amazing.

24:08Um, and we did the egg retrieval and we made our embryos and from our embryos, we, you know, the process. So you sort of had a lot of eggs and then you get to like a few embryos, froze them. And then we did the transfer. And then I always encourage people to what I, I, if you're going through fertility and if you're using a surrogate, um, or just IVF on your own, there's a thing called a mock cycle, which they can do basically where they prep your body as if they're going to do the transfer and instead of doing the transfer they just run a lot of tests on like how your body would receive the embryo and it delays it a little bit and there's a cost to it just by one month but it gives your doctor all of the information he needs to then make sure or she the the information ours was a male doctor but uh to make the right decision of like how he wants to do the transfer so just helps with success rate super interesting and yes and the the egg donor um and the uh surrogate the surrogate yep did you know them beforehand we know our surrogate um we do not we didn't know her beforehand though we did not know her beforehand no okay we were matched with her okay the egg donor thing is blind like um she doesn't know who we are we don't know her identity okay we just you see photos you see health things you see family medical history we did a zoom with her with our camera off to like oh that's cool yeah um and then we and then for the surrogate you meet them because you're going to be at the doctor's appointments and i'm at the birth and everything yeah and then the thing that i would again like we have friends going through this now that was is our advice is like the the partner of your surrogate is every bit as important you kind of want that person really on board and you want like pregnancy is you know really intense we've heard and and you know if you're caring if there's that added thing of like you're carrying a baby that is not yours you know it's like you just want to feel supported and so our surrogate and her husband were like really really incredible people they're really wonderful building their family too which a lot of times surrogates are women who have had all the children they plan to have and they you know they liked being pregnant or it wasn't complicated for them and they're like i want to do this now for other people we had a different situation where and it's honestly why we sort of fell in love with her so yeah they're still building their family and they're like we live in southern california it's expensive and like we have dreams for our family too and like this is a way for us to be able to afford that wow yeah wait so when the baby comes out because for me there was like this like very intense emotional connection with the baby like coming out and it goes right on you when a surrogate has the baby do they hand him right to you guys or do they hand him to her we had a birth to you it's up to you so we had a birth plan that we he so sweetly printed out to make sure every single nurse in our birthing center had a copy of our birth plan of like what we were doing what our preferences were how we wanted to do it and one thing that we checked with her is we wanted her to have skin to skin with him right away.

27:16It was like he was all she knew for the whole pregnancy. I mean, we would like send voice notes that she would play to her belly. And when we would see her, we would like get in there. But it's interesting because I always say it's this really weird mix of miracle and capitalism. It's a miracle. Bringing a new life into the world is unbelievable. But also there's like a ton. And if you're like us with IVF, there's a ton of contracts and legal stuff so when you arrive you're like handing the hospital a court order from a judge that's like the baby that's born out of this person between this day and this day belongs to these other people it's a court order so the hospital and they're all had to make sure all that was in line yeah if you're doing this in a place that isn't used to surrogacy birth they're like what's happening you know but in in most big cities and especially in california they're like they do them every day so it's it's it's like pro forma it's not a big deal at all but like the law would be that like the hospital or like we would have had the right to be like the baby comes out and like goes to us and we just were like we didn't we did want it to do what felt right we had our own room that was right next door to hers and it was really cool and really nice we got very lucky i think to have like a really beautiful fast uncomplicated yeah birth that's incredible wow i i'm like i never thought about that sounds very special it was is is the the plan for one kid or more kids no we're we're gonna be um going for another hair soon i mean we we always wanted because also with ivf we could have chosen to try for twins and we it was a topic that we discussed but um obviously it's more of a risk pregnancy for the surrogate but then on top of it we were really strongly adamant that we wanted to bond with bishop solo before we brought somebody else in too so um but yeah we we have plans for a big family so we yeah we want to do four to five that's amazing wow cool basketball team yeah that's part of why we love austin texas so much because austin is a town that like we find very conducive to large families and i think it's really cool like growing up in vancouver it felt like most of the families around us are like one to two kids and uh it feels like when we are friends in austin the mindset is very much like you know go big and yeah uh and everything you know works for different families but yeah right now we're on the please have five kids like i always joke that like you know the people that have seven kids are like not the people you want have seven kids like we need all the nice sane cool people who are gonna like be great parents to have lots of kids take families thank you yeah that's yeah i don't know i i just do you guys feel this well no that's not the question i was gonna derail us there for a second okay this is what i want to ask is about default parenting have you heard about the term i don't think so yeah never thought about describing it okay so i don't know how to explain it other than a lot of couples feel like one parent is the default like i know the milk schedule i know the nap schedule i get up oh we have our roles for sure like we know who takes care of what or who's better at taking care of what we both take care of like everything and we can step in like he is the king at his meals so he started him on solids we also worked with this incredible nutritionist, Allie Bandier.

30:46She was phenomenal. But he made homemade bone broth to do all of his purees, would spend hours on his food. Truly would spend hours on Bishop's purees, and Bishop would take like two or three bites and then be done when we first started the solids. And I was just so impressed because he spent hours out of his morning and his days. I'm Ballerina Farms. Love it. Love it. So he, I would call you like the default parent when it comes to food. for sure so you don't have okay he's like you making bone marrow bone marrow butter like just it is it is come on come on like i'm cheering this yeah yeah he's like oh yeah i make her ribs a lot oh like she will like chow like massive tricks um and the bone feels good if they're teething yes which is nice yeah we like to take her to terry block terry blacks in austin and she'll like just chow turkey and brisket and yeah uh so have you read the book breath no okay okay all your same vibe or that's the exact same vibe i'll send it to you guys so you could have it to answer that is like yes so this is like a good practical i'll describe it really quickly for your audience breath is this book that basically said we studied cavemen's um fossils and they didn't have asthma or crooked teeth why because they didn't eat purees they gnawed and chewed on shit and it expands their soft palate and their upper palate and makes their airways bigger and their sinuses and they have more room for like they didn't their wisdom teeth weren't crowded they didn't have crooked teeth they didn't need braces so um we are trying to give him as much stuff to like chew and gnaw on as possible um for that reason that's in do we need to read the book hours that that's kind i mean there is a lot of stuff for adults too okay so if you have it's a lot of it's basically like again sorry to the authors because i'm you know people should read the book but like the gist is breathing through your mouth is really bad and breathing through your nose is really healthy and you should do everything to breathe through your nose okay and give your kids stuff to chew on do you guys sleep with mouth tape my man has every instrument possible he gets he gets i had mouth tape on one night and he like rolled over in the middle of the night and like give me a kiss and like really freaked out i bet you're like also i once i'm in bed like i'm out within the first five minutes so i have no clue what he does for like the next 30 to 45 minutes as he like lays there and scrolls and i like read books and i just like i'll go to bed with him so sweetly sitting there and then i'll wake up and he has like his breather right strip on and his mouth tape on and i'm like whoa this is not the same person i went to bed with but i'm I'm here for it.

33:23You're like, okay, hi. It's a joke. I'm scared. Do you use that magnet thing? Yeah. I have that. And then you have a friend that had like a sleep company that sent us a bunch of like. Yes. It's really cool, actually. Like the blue light blocker glasses that I use for like the last hour. He sent us this incredible kit. And I'll have to plug it for him later. But red light glass, like it just helps or blue light glasses. It just helps you sort of get ready for bed. If you're on your phone, you wear the blue light glasses. Or even if I'm watching. He has this thing, too. look and he makes it too but if you punch your screen three times it takes a blue light out of you we have to set it up i mean i feel like we need this i feel like we need every shortcut it's in the disability set or accessibility settings on your iphone it takes like two minutes but you just triple click like the side button and it takes all the blue light out of your phone it takes blue light out of your phone so that your brain can shut it's a one minute youtube video your school how to take how to block blue light from your iphone it takes one minute to set up an accessibility of your iphone would that remove the headache you get too from like scrolling which i know i should not be over scrolling but if i'm going to i think that's also eye fatigue i talked to a doctor about that as well colin's like i also had eye fatigue it gives you a headache it's unfortunate because as you know like he's like we're spending too much i'm like that's my work nothing good's happening on the phone that's why we all need five kids because i'll distract you enough that you're too exhausted to be on your phone garden and chicken and i want to be in my yard barefoot i'm with you that's what i want what's better than a bowl of cereal, a bowl of cereal that is fueling you guys, which is why magic spoon is the absolute best magic spoon makes high protein, zero sugar cereal and treats reinvented straight from your childhood.

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35:43Both are great on the go pre or post workout or as a midnight snack. The best. Get$5 off your next order at magicspoon.com slash two parents or look for magic spoon on Amazon or in your nearest grocery store. That's magicspoon.com slash two parents for$5 off. We have this incredible thing that I love. And I'm once again, just like parents out there that love music and like want that stimulation without the screens, the Tony's box. Have you heard of that? No. It's incredible. It's this little music box and they have characters that have like and probably like a chip in it and it's magnetized. So you can take different.

36:20So like we have a Lion King one and a Winnie the Pooh and when you set it on the box, it plays the soundtrack. But it also reads the story of the movie. But also reads the story midway through. So like we have all these characters. We have a Cars collection one. So like. Unbelievable. It plays like life is a highway and then it plays three songs and then it goes into the story of Cars. So he could sit there and play. By the way, I had a moment where I like burst into tears like two days ago because we always do this for him. We get the little thing and we put it on. And then I walked in and he was sitting there with his nanny.

36:50But he took the one off that he didn't want to hear anymore and put one on. And I was like, I'm not ready for this. It's when they do something like that. Unbelievable how fast that happens, too. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, I thought you couldn't move. Yeah. I know. You're like, he's like a boy now. Like, he sent me this video. and I was out of town recently and he sent me a video. He took him to the park and he's eating an apple by himself with a backwards hat holding his sunglasses in one hand and just like chomping on the apple. I'm like, you are a three-year-old. What is happening to my 10-month-old baby?

37:24Yeah, you were just like a fresh little baby and now is he crawling? Oh, he's standing up. He just got him a rock wall gym with like... Shut up. I think that we're going to have the kind of kid who like crawled early and walks late because he's so good at crawling. He's kind of not that interested in walking. He moves. He scoots. What about Tate? She's crawling, standing up, clapping. Cute. And trying to take steps. So I don't know. It all happened. Like one week we went through a sleep regression. We like weren't sleeping. And then one day it was just like crawl, walk, clap, yell. Was she teething?

37:57Yes. That's what we had too. B's teeth just fully came in too. These huge teeth. How many? Yeah. He has these two and the two top teeth in the middle and the two bottom teeth okay and they're big hold on we want a rock wall we saw oh yeah and we he wants to put a rock wall right yeah i'm talking like actually yeah we don't have that we don't have that so what we have is because we think we're going to move in the next year or two so i didn't want to like it's it's it we got like a baby gym yeah it's a baby okay but then we can move they connects so you can have the angle and there are like little there's like a ladder This morning I worked with him on it and he bear crawled up.

38:37I put it on a steeper elevation and was there for him. And he bear crawled up and then grabbed it. I always set something that he wants up at the top so he knows to go up and get it. I'm going to need the three lengths. The going to sleep blue light. Yes. The Tony's box. The music box and this little gym. Did you order that off Amazon too? Which one? The little play gym. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we got to get that. Everything. We're very committed to her. I'm sorry, I cut you off. No, go ahead. Go ahead. we're very committed to her playroom right now and getting that thing just like set up to and you're going to be in your house for a while so you can like yeah see that's what you want to tell do you want to tell them what b's playroom currently is our bar we were so as we were designing the house our designer walked through and was like i want to make this chic bar and we're like great and then he goes and by the way when you have your kid it'll just be his playroom and we're like yeah right it was so pretty i had like this cool hidden wine fridge with like It's beautiful.

39:32It's his playroom now. And we have to squeeze in to get our bottles of wine. You're like, excuse me. It's his. I know you have so many. Well, I guess, so do you do screen time ever? We haven't. I feel like we're realists about it. I mean, I know we talked a little bit before we started about like photos of your kid online. And I feel like we have no clue how much our lives are about to change because of AI. It's we can't even imagine. Right. And chat GPT is already like at this insane level can basically function as your assistant already. It's getting it's like doubling in power every like six months.

40:12It's going to be part of their lives from a very young age. And like whether it's a screen or a wearable, it's like I don't know. Like to me, it's like you either have to opt out of like modern life or you're going to have to do some give and take. And so I feel like we're going to wait as long as we can. like i'll say this during football season he'll probably sit and watch a game with me like he's already watched a little basket like when i have it on it's not like i pull him out of the room because there's the tv's on we don't like lead with that ever we've never handed him a device to like watch something that's for him yeah so we we have a different different definition of screen time so to us screen time is like is ipad time oh versus tv on in the background we don't really think we don't think anything of yeah um and but sorry i i i gotta drop there we we don't know i guess that's the answer is we're gonna do our best and of course we don't want to give him a ton of devices but i do think we travel a lot so i want to be real about this i would much rather him watch a movie i don't think he's interested in it yet he's not thing he's like too little but like and and we have our some of our friends who we think are the best parents that's how they deal with it is like at home there's nothing and then um when they're traveling they get to watch stuff and they get their devices yeah i think that's very much aligned with how we're thinking about the world it's like hold off on it as long as possible it's inevitable it's going to be part of their lives just how do we have it as part of the lives and it's healthy um a way as um as possible can we have you guys heard about coco melon yes the way they design it though no we we play coco melon playlist coco melon has its own character on the tony's box as well okay i'm gonna tell them i'm gonna tell them this thing because okay so we're like you guys in the sense of haven't done it yet know it's gonna happen one day but like obviously trying not to and in terms of ai like that's very like we i think we think very similar yeah so what we were looking at is like when we do screen time what's a good way to start and what are they doing these days.

42:18So one, somebody sent us the study about Cocomelon, which was, and, and listen, Cocomelon like comments on my videos and like, I, I love them, but I am about to just not do them no favors. They put, they lined up a hundred kids and they put Cocomelon on one screen. And on another screen, they put somebody just doing regular house tasks, like washing dishes, doing the laundry, and they monitored the kids. And anytime any of the kids looked away from Cocomelon over to the basic house tasks, they marked it. And they went back and they changed that part of the TV to make it more flashing lights louder so it would be more addictive and that's why whenever parents take away modern day shows sometimes the kids act out because they crave it and so that's like little addicts isn't that crazy yeah then when we posted that one of my best friends messaged me said we had to stop doing coco melon because tantrums would follow it huh and they say a lot of so like watching a football game for example or an old school cartoon or even like how to lose a guy in 10 days was a movie i was watching one day and she kept turning towards it and i was like i think some of those things are fine because you know like we watched cartoons because it's kate hudson's best work exactly and because that yellow dress was awesome and it's fine if she watches that but i thought that the way that they're designing tv nowadays i just thought that was really interesting well same with miss rachel by the way there's been uh studies psychologically of like why she uses the high high tone and with her voice and how she's so expressive like some of that is good for kids but there is a psychological factor of creating this addictive pattern for the kids to want to tune in more and ask for it yeah and so what we're experimenting with is like what is it like if he has some like music going but there's not the visual part we're also good he's really really good at being in tune of like he's had a lot of stimulation today let's give him some quiet time like let's take him to his room no music no white noise like we try to never interrupt him when he's doing something like if he's focused on something we don't just like pick him up and move him like we'll kind of wait till he's done yeah we let him do but also like we have to acknowledge i think like we we work and we work from home so we he has a nanny and that helps us do some of this stuff so like i have a brother who has five kids and awesome parent you know but like works outside the home and like i i think has a different approach to like sometimes they're like i need a second to myself and like the kid's getting an ipad and i'm like that's fine no question and i see i like i feel like kid one versus kid two very well could just be a total night and day yeah kid five it's like here's a grilled cheese good luck yeah like this is a french like this is mcdonald's and we're making bone broth for the first one exactly told and then like here's an ipad and like i mom does need a break right it's like that i'm really glad you said that because a lot we are both on baby one both with nannies and it's like that does make our job we're blessed because i'm on one side to me and it's helped me a lot when like we're traveling and i have to give the kids something he does i wouldn't normally is like your body's not a temple it's a truck treat it right most of the time and it's going to run just fine and i'm like that's how i want to approach it like it's not going to kill anyone if you eat fast food for a weekend when you're like visiting your grandparents you know trucks can do they can go over potholes and they can hit curbs bicker of the week our our number one bicker right now is a couple is is around the car and is around like my i guess my spatial awareness when i drive like isn't the best where we kind of pull into our driveway and i hit this rock apparently every time i don't feel the rock like i do not feel the what do you what would you call what i hit a rock a rock but it's like a boulder type thing uh it's a good svv yeah you're good i have a defender same those were built for that we have a range over no which by the way our bicker of the week is the exact same so really well i know i mean it's the only time we find evil like we are very insane like i know that people are going to roll their eyes we really truly do not fight outside of the car but i'm only time we come for each other is in the car and what i should say this when i'm driving i'm I'm a really good driver.

46:34No, same. There's no other way to put it besides I'm a good driver. Something that I use my signal. So your bicker of the week is driving? It is the bicker of our relationship and our life. I mean, sometimes we're both just like, I'll just drive. And I usually just drive because I'm like a nightmare when I'm a passenger while he's driving. He also does this. He sits in the passenger seat and I'll be like scrolling. And they'll be like, babe, babe. And I'm like, you're watching your phone. don't look while you can't just look up and yell at me brake lights do you not see them the biggest so that's my pet peeve is when that happens yes like don't just jump in at this the where i shot myself in the foot was okay so you have the defender and i have i have a range rover sport yeah and i did this whole pitch about how i needed it because it can go off-roading and like it's just a really good car for texas and then like he hit a pothole in it one time and i was like yo you're going to throw the alignment off.

47:28And he was like, dude, it's an off-roading car. And I was just like, talk about a backfire of my own argument. So the pothole, so our baker was, well, I'll ask you. So when you see a pothole, should you swerve or should you just hit it? Oh, I would say swerve for a pothole. If it's safe, like if you can quickly look in your mirror and you're not going to hit another car, but they say don't ever swerve for animals. Right. Right. But for a pothole, like, I mean, depending on where you live, and how good the roads are like you can seriously fuck up your car i probably wouldn't have seen the potholes so i'm i'm rolling all over it that's these these are bad drivers they're just yeah i thought like we're more kind of like mine it was like the whole ai commentary and some of the other stuff and i'm like i'm coming back in on yeah yeah like i can teach you how to drive there we go thank you it's like so by the way our kids will never learn how to drive You don't think?

48:24No. We talk about this all the time on here. Absolutely not. Okay. They will never get a driver's license. That was my prediction three episodes ago. Oh, really? So you think it'll be autonomous? By the time they're in kindergarten. Do you think you will still buy them a car, though, that is autonomous and they will get in it? Buy a membership or like some sort of service that... I think it depends where you live. Yeah. You live in a big city. You order like, today I need a truck and it comes. Today I need a taxi and it comes. Today I need a minivan. I'm somewhat like a little bit of a prepper like that's also why I'm looking at some land right now because I'm like really invested in building a cool tech safe house that like and I'm going to have some trucks there you know like I want to like prepare so that I can take care of my family if I need to not like the last of us style sort of I'll handle that but like yeah if like there's a fungus coming for us I got us you're gonna like lock down yeah i mean yeah i just want to be able to take care of my family no matter what and i think city infrastructure is not going to be the place to be when ai takes over totally but do you guys like ai i think it's really a great tool to use um i met this really amazing tech futurist recently which i think is such a cool job her name is siné bovell she's on instagram and she said if we can get through the next 10 years that the world for like your kid is going to be amazing yeah and that i do agree with that like there's going to be shit's going to break the u.s and china are in like an arms race for this and so there no one's going to slow down to test safety because if we slow down the other side's going to pull ahead yeah and so definitely there are going to be some kinks i think to put the thing that i read is the the rate at which chat gbt and ai is learning and teaching itself it like we're ahead of other countries right now and if we stop to do regulations and stop to put guardrails up they'll surpass us and then like what's the point of us even stopping if somebody else is just going to get there first so the rate that it's teaching itself is so insane like i mean did you guys use chat bt jet chat gpt when it first came out yeah i think he's an early pastor uh call it 18 to 24 so like now that same right and then like now when you do it it obviously learns from how you used it do you talk to it well have you i i recently asked it to write a letter to my younger self to understand how well it knew me and it was it like it nailed it yeah i get really really scary do you do the thing where you talk to it uh when i'm walking yeah i will i will to me that's when use the voice side of it um but i use it for like a lot of more transactional things so we've been redesigning our house and it's use for that is amazing our business um our legal fees as a company are probably down 70 because there's so much just like layer one work that it can do obviously all the big stuff like medium to big stuff still goes to um to to our our lawyer but all the just kind of like scan this document and so on and so forth has been it's been used it recently for like we were like here's a pdf of everything we fed our baby over the last month design his menu for the next month using this approach and create a shopping list by week and they made us a meal calendar and a weekly shopping based off of how long the ingredients can stay good in a fridge.

52:06Incredible. That's a really good thing to do. So it just made our life like that much easier. Typically, you don't associate speed with quality. For example, you don't go to a fast food restaurant expecting to have a sit down gourmet five course meal, do you? Because, well, they're not the same thing and the expectations are different. But there is an exception to this unwritten rule. If you're hiring, you can find candidates fast who are extremely qualified for your job. Just use ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Alex. With ZipRecruiter's advanced resume database, you can proactively find and connect with qualified candidates in minutes.

52:49So there's little waiting. want to meet with a standout candidate you can unlock their contact info instantly which i know is what a lot of us want there's 320 000 new resumes added monthly which means you can reach more potential hires and fill more roles sooner experience hiring speed and quality with zip recruiter four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day and if you go to ziprecruiter.com slash alex right now you can try it for free again that's ziprecruiter.com slash alex zip recruiter the smartest way to hire okay i want to ask you about we flip-flopped on sleep training we did sleep train now we don't when he when he did it it was too hard on me he and chat sleep trained our daughter together and he would respond and he'd be like okay she woke up again and then it would respond to me like i'm like it stayed up with him all night long and it was like you must be really tired i'm thinking of you right now but you should go check on her and just rub her belly but keep her in the crib it was unbelievable great job dad we splurged i'll say this it was it was that's a luxury splurge for us we hired a night nurse for the first four months and it was a game changer because once again we both work from home and we cannot be our best selves and also we can't be the parents that we wanted to be throughout the day for him if we were getting up every other hour so for the first four months we had and she helped us sleep train him so that's that was what was worth every penny see so we did we did a night nurse we somehow messed this up we like got it but we did it for the first three months three months okay and she slept great but but here's a difference right the night nurse comes in and wakes you up to breastfeed no yeah okay so like we didn't have that so like we could peacefully sleep through the night with our night entire night that's the difference between for us yeah but then but then bishop was just completely sleep trained no no for sure not like we he's he he had a regression two weeks ago yeah and we always just feel like once you you feel like oh i learned my baby they change totally so like for two weeks he would sleep through the night and then for two weeks he would wake up at 3 a.m every night last night was 7 to 7 15.