Our first two weeks with 2 under 2, Mother's Day gift ideas & is “dad brain” real?!

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0:38Kraft Mac and Cheese, best thing ever. I can hear him. You can hear Rocky? Yeah. Okay, well, we have Rocky in the studio. He's hanging. Is this Rocky's... Did Rocky come to the studio before Tate? Has Tate ever been to the studio? Yeah, she was here and we moved in. okay so she's had one appearance yeah so they are they're at one one-to-one so we have rocky in the studio today jules in the studio today and alex as a listener in in the studio today but once again well i have a mic i will be hosting and here we are what how do i shut this off again Harrison come on welcome back to another episode of two parents in a podcast good job featuring one parent on camera and one parent off of camera correct because I'm here I'm holding the rocks we got a lot of stuff going on and I think the way we'll start it off we'll give the IRL rundown and then talk about really what the first two weeks of of two under two is like i've given you some notes on breastfeeding okay but i think like most things where and then we'll get into uh get i've given i've given you notes on wait get into some q a and then she's just a natural she's just a natural i really knew when alex was coming i was like no i'm not gonna talk No, this is all you.

2:18It's what you want to do. It's all on what you want to do. I just want to make sure we give the listener the notes that I gave you about breastfeeding and how I've been feeling mentally. I just want to make sure we give that. Perfect. And we will make sure that all of that is covered because what you want is most important. No. And then we'll get into some Q &A and then a couple things that Jules and I DMed each other because Things We DMed is featuring her and I this week. Wait, have I been cut out of the DMs? No. No. You're there. I'm just trying to keep it too. I'm really not on my phone a lot.

2:51I think everyone – one thing that I'm doing when I pump in the middle of the night and whenever I – just all day is I'm reading a book now and I'm not scrolling. What book are you reading? Next to Heaven. That sounds like a religious book. It's very much so like a fictional – it's really good. I don't know how to describe it. Okay. I don't know the genre. It's funny. It's like at this point, like why not just have a camera on you? I look like I just, I mean, I don't care. I could care less if we have the camera on me. It's just. Okay. So let's, let's keep building off of that. And she looks great.

3:33And you know, you look amazing. Thank you. You truly do look amazing. But I would not say I would, I would not say I look camera ready. Okay. Harrison's not going to say that. I'll say it. I don't look camera ready, but thank you. Agree to disagree.

3:49So why don't we start off with the breastfeeding? And I hate to do this, but I feel like there is no one better to talk about your breastfeeding journey than yourself. Okay. Well, I will say everyone tells you with the second baby that you make more milk. And I was like, that won't be me. But I'm definitely making more milk, which is amazing. Like we already have a freezer supply. but with that comes more pain I would say because your boobs fill up faster and bigger and so I had to get new bras and I've ordered like new tank tops and things and it's just like a little bit more painful but I don't have deamer which is really nice and if you don't know what deamer is that's the thing that I had with tate which is like when you get a milk let down it can show open different ways, which sometimes is, um, you get like a wave of sadness.

4:41You get a wave of thirst. You get a wave of anger. It can be all these different things for me. I just had a wave of like flatness and I would just be like, Oh my gosh, what's like, I just sort of a days is how my DMR showed up. I don't have that this time. And I'm actually enjoying breastfeeding and pumping at this moment. We're 10 days in how many days? 11. So that's, that's my 11 day intake. will I be enjoying it in two weeks I don't know but right now like the pump is not my enemy breastfeeding is going really well um he's a good latcher I'm making a lot of milk but when I start to get up and out of the house like will that start to drive me a little more crazy I don't know so stay tuned but Harrison and I did google last night can you hear him breathing that's so cute um I can hear it it is really cute though oh he's just drinking a bottle and like cooing or snorting kind of, but we Googled last night.

5:35So I don't know if this is accurate or not, but for the first six weeks, don't mess with your supply. So like leave it be. And then if you want to sort of wind it down a bit after that, like pump every five to six hours, what you do is you don't pump to completion. So you just pump to get relief. Maybe it would be like 10 minutes and then you could sort of slow your supply that way. So that might be something I do, but it's looking like the pumping will go on for six weeks at least i was going to state my observation but i think much better coming from you on like how it feels second time versus first time and are you a lot more comfortable are you a lot more confident overall just yeah i think i'm definitely i'm definitely more confident and it's so much more it's so much less unknown.

6:25Um, and it's easier this time around right now. Um, and I'm just throwing the pump on and I'm enjoying reading my book while I'm doing it. Like I'm enjoying it right now. And if there comes a time where it feels like a job, I'm going to reassess, but, and it will, I'm not going to do it for six months to a year this time. I can, I can already say that, but as of right now, it's going well. And the only thing is this, I think I'm hungrier this time than I was last time. I have been ravenous and meat doesn't sound good. Protein doesn't sound good. The only thing that sounds good is like overnight oats, um, pancakes, the peanut butter.

7:11My friend Olivia made me these lactation bites, brownies, cake. That's the only thing that sounds good. So, and I'm eating just trail mix with M &Ms in it. Like I'm eating a ton of that and I feel like I can't get full, but I do think it will level out. Well, you're doing a phenomenal job. We have a ton of milk, which is great. It's nice to not be what, what happened with Tate was I was bottle for bottle and somebody messaged me and said, you need to reframe. You weren't a just enough. In fact, your body made everything she needed, which was, which is a really sweet way to look at it, but said differently, you're always on the hook for the next bottle.

7:43And with him, i mean we got plenty what did what sorry what did you mean by the six weeks you said something about six weeks that you might be pumping until six weeks so what we what we read about last night was basically don't mess with your supply for six weeks because it can cause like engorgement or mastitis like you can get an infection oh so just make what you're making there's some added color is i think that that that may not have been shared alex had was had voiced concern that she was producing too much milk and it was like and so the question is oh i'm producing too much milk every one to two hours like i now need to put them on the buber pump what what do i do about it and so we went to claude and that that is what was learned okay that's what i was confused on so you're gonna just stick with how it's going for six weeks and then you can make adjustments after that if you need to yes because there's a way jules when when you're pumping and stuff that you can kind of adjust your milk supply you can scale it up if you need to you pump more or if you want to scale it down you can pump or feed less because your body may every time you drain it signals to your body you need more milk make more milk so if you go six hours without pumping your breastfeeding your body says we don't need to make as much so i was saying should i start to do that and what claude said was no because then you can be at risk for engorgement or mastitis which is like a bad it feels like the flu so they're saying don't touch it for six weeks let your body do its thing and then you can start to adjust okay that's what was missing and the main adjustment strategy that they shared was pump to relief is what it was called meaning right now i pump 20 minutes, but I feel relief after nine to 11 minutes.

9:30So I could just pump for nine to 11 minutes and that wouldn't be a full drain of the milk. And then my body would say, okay, let's make a little less. Got it. So the other big development over the past week is, uh, Alex has started to want to go for walks. So we've been going for walks and there were two, uh, two subject, two pieces of subject matter from our walk today that I think was worth discussing that were not on the docket. The first is our anniversary as we are claiming our official anniversary date, which I think is an unconventional way to do things because we are using our anniversary date, which is the day we met and the day we went on our first date, not the day that we officially signed our marriage license.

10:19We didn't really talk about this ad nauseum. And so I want to ask you why. Because to me, like that is when our love story began. Okay. And that's a very significant date, November 4th, 2023, because nothing was the same from November 4th. I agree. And I think that most couples don't have a clear cut start date like that. And we do. And so that is what feels right to me. Are you not on board with that? So is that a... No, I'm fully on board with it. I just didn't feel like we flushed out the conversation. But then it was funny because I had my friends Maggie and Tony over earlier today. And one of them was out there like, what did you know?

11:03And I was like, I know this sounds so crazy, but I knew the day I met him. As did I. As did I. You did. Know that I was the one for you? Oh, yeah.

11:16Jules. I'm leaving that in. Good. Please. Please. Isn't November 4th election day? This is a no-cut podcast. Isn't November 4th election day? Is it? What patriots are we? No idea. No idea. It was a Saturday in 2023. That's why I was looking it up because I was wondering what day it was this year, if you could potentially do your wedding party that day. I think it's like a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. Yeah, we looked at that. We looked at this, yes. Anyone who's a parent knows feeding decisions aren't a one-time thing. You make them again and again, stage after stage. And that's where Little Spoon comes into play, you guys.

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12:59That's a win we'll take every time. Get 30 % off your first order at littlespoon.com slash twoparents with code twoparents. That's L-I-T-T-L-E-S-P-O-O-N dot com slash twoparents with code twoparents for 30 % off your first order. so unfortunately no um no luck there and then the other interesting conversation point that came up is what do we want to call us do you want to call it we're 10 days in or two weeks in because 11 days in doesn't feel right two weeks please okay so we're gonna go two weeks let's run two weeks so how we're feeling on family size two weeks in oh this is the other thing we talked about this morning i see what you're saying do you want to go or do you want me to go you go you're this is your podcast i know but now you're sitting here i feel like i i should be i should be passing passing the mic over so i think we told this story on last week's episode how we were driving did we tell us how when we're driving back from the hospital we talked about like hey does this feel like it's it in terms of kids or no okay well then we'll get two stories here so when we were driving back from the hospital on Tuesday, Alex and I both looked at each other and we're just like, do you think this is the last time we're going to do this?

14:21Like, like, are we done with two? Are we done with two? What's your gut instinct telling you? And both of us were just like, we are so happy. We are loving this moment. We also, we want more. two yeah because i think that you when you know you know and you leave and some people say that they they thought they wanted three kids they had two and they just felt so complete and and while our family feels very complete yeah it feels like there will be more and we want more correct god willing correct and um now two weeks in the conversation today which obviously was led by you being told by me was like that that third feels like I don't even know how to say this at this point it's hard for me to talk when I feel like it's kind of you're something that is your call do you know what I'm saying yeah I know what you're saying but I think that so wait I'm sorry what are you wanting to say that I said we can definitely do three and I might do four?

15:30Yeah, I guess is kind of it. Because this is the way. So just because pregnancy is so hard on me and like I do – like I find out – we were talking about this. I find out I'm pregnant at the three-week mark because I get this just like flat depression blah feeling and hunger. Like remember I start to crave just like crackers and peanut butter. And it's – I'm two for two on this. and then it's just like I find out I'm pregnant so early and so you have so long to go and I don't enjoy being pregnant although I'm thankful for it it it overtakes my body and you know once you have the baby you're not it's not like you have the baby and you just pop back to your normal self so you know you take a long time out of commission and so what I was saying is I could definitely do three and then we're going to reassess on the fourth but probably i'll do three and then maybe take like four or five years and then do the fourth we'll see yeah we'll see it's it's the this is dreaming but i don't know i don't know um and and i think that was like the first time we've ever discussed that concept of of an age gap of a large age gap in between in between the kids And I think we both kind of, it felt like we're on that same page of, you know, when we start trying again.

16:51Well, I always say it's a short-term loss of, you know, doing things and being productive and having a pep in my step and for a long-term gain of having these kids that we want. Totally. Well, totally isn't a fair thing for me to say, but I support you. So, Jules, help me here. where um i guess are we good on are we good on that we good on the kid thing i think so okay so ultimate conclusion i don't even know that was it we don't need a conclusion yeah that was just that was just where our head was at that is the latest update on on kid thinking where where do you think we Take it from here, Jules.

17:39Well, Alex texted this morning about her push present and Mother's Day gifts. Oh. I would love to not talk about the push present. Okay. Well, I'm getting a lot of questions about the push present. So we're going to talk about it because. Well, what you want, we get. Perfect. Yeah. I've seen her DMs. She got a lot of questions on it. Correct. I think a lot of people are asking me about a couple things right now. So I just wanted to do some housekeeping here. And do you want me to take the push present? You can take the push present. And then I don't let me forget Mother's Day presents because I have just a couple ideas for guys listening or moms.

18:11If you don't know what you want. At some point, Alex sent me a link to a bag. I think it was in January. It was. And it was before I believe it was before it launched and it was just announced or something along those lines. I mean, it just dropped. And she's just special edition. I love, love, love, love, love this. and I was like she rarely like stakes her a flag on an item that she's super into and then she referenced it like very shortly after and I was like you know what I'm gonna get this and I'm gonna save it for a special occasion um if I try to like go back to that exact moment what did I have the push present in mind i'm not exactly sure i think it was probably the leading candidate for when i would have given it to you but you're such a hard person to get a gift for i saw it as like okay this is something that she like obviously really wants so let's go and and um and you know whatever get it get it have it in storage uh it was where'd you store yeah i have two questions which is where'd you store it in right in front of her face yeah right right uh it was stored right beside where she works out in a box oh yeah she'd looked at it every day but not it wasn't in it was in a brown box it was in a brown box oh yeah and then i understood what you meant by the color but the color's so good that he i think that because i recently color is very pink i recently sent him the same i recently sent him the same bag in blue oh and i was like i just love that i don't know what it's called a speedy something i love that top handle bag that they make um i would much rather have it in pink it's so cute and pink i love it i just i just didn't see blue as your like color if that makes sense i love it i don't i just didn't think you'd get as much you said of it and i don't need to do blue just because he's a boy like that doesn't exist and i love the pink and i'll give this bag to bubber and i'm obsessed with it so thank you so much so so much you you deserve it i'm just very happy that you liked it because it was uh well beyond the return window i absolutely love it i absolutely love it like i was so excited but i love bright colorful bags like that on mother's day yeah this is so much fun that you are here because what I was talking to Jules about yesterday and we will get into Mother's Day and part of my confusion around recording this episode is I don't talk to the audience I talk to you and there just happens to be a mic here like some podcasters I feel like talk to the audience right I have no idea how to do that and so even just having you in the room is making this a lot more fun.

21:09You're just a guy that chats. I do feel like what this podcast is is a lot of your and I's typical conversation just being recorded. No, I agree with that. It feels a lot more natural. And what I will say is, I'm not even sure if this is what anyone wants to hear, but what you being on maternity leave has showed me is how much I enjoy doing this. Because right now I'm only recording we're only recording once a week and I want to be recording twice a week like I had this date circled like this week has felt really long to me because I didn't get to record until Wednesday well there's a couple things to say about that number one we like we like we've really been loving the podcast because it's mutually beneficial with us in the audience we learn a lot from you guys and I hope that I don't think you learn anything from us but I hope that we you can relate to us and enjoy it yeah and enjoy it um but the other thing is I think we just love we love what we do but on maternity leave what I want to say is like I am enjoying not having to be here right now being able to just stay at home and snuggle him because so the way our days work right now is Tate goes to Maria's but they're going to Winnie's every day so she's gone from eight to five right now, just while we get in the swing of things with him.

22:33And so from eight to five, we get to be in our little newborn bubble. And then at five o 'clock, it's really sweet. Cause we go get her and we walk to the park or we do something as a family. And then that time's really sweet. So we're getting a little taste of both. Like we're getting the taste of the family of four and we're getting the newborn bubble. And so I am enjoying just doing the snuggles. I'm staying in bed till 10 I'm reading, I'm sitting with my heating pad. We're watching shows. Like I think that that I think the newborn bubble doesn't last forever and it's the sweetest time of your life and so I'm really enjoying that but I do agree with you like today I was like I do want to go go with you to record because it just feels like fun but I don't want to put any pressure on myself to have to be anywhere yeah and I really respect like the line you've drawn around what you will do and won't do from from a work perspective and just know that that you're supported um no matter no matter what what route you take my line right now is do what I want to do if I want to do it I'll do it if I don't I don't I I'm I'm stunned that you're sitting here but I didn't want to come last week and today I was like yeah I think it's good for me and you also you said like you you don't want to program like you don't want to program you don't want to you know deal with a variety of matters and you've held so firm on that but we got you here but and then I'm enjoying being here because it was like my decision to come and I think that whenever we start to record like this is a good break for me too because we're going to add a third episode and i'll be like ready ready to rock and roll get things flowing you said something before oh mother's day i just have to do it really quickly number one i linked to phone cases from bobble bar i think if you know here's the hardest part for the guys you got to figure out what kind of phone your wife has don't mess it up like really figure or just ask her like what kind of phone you have or go to her settings and it'll tell you what kind of phone she has but i think if you got her this phone case with her name on it or your last name or your kids names or something really good gift and then secondarily I was going to ask Harrison for this but I went ahead and ordered it for myself and I'm telling you now because you need to press order now because it will arrive in time bubble bar this is not an ad I just like their stuff also makes necklaces that you can do one name on two names on or three names on and I ordered one I used to have one that said um jelly Tate and Harrison but now we know his name's Rocky so I ordered another one and it's Rocky Tate and Harrison and I think it would be a really good Mother's Day gift it's a really like weird full circle moment just on the ball of our front because I probably heard about this company for the first time like maybe I don't know let's call it seven years ago plus minus because you're gonna have to bleep the name but is one of their early investors oh really yeah I think they're okay so I was worried about the quality of the necklaces because I don't like when things tarnish and what I love about their stuff, number one, it's light, so it doesn't hurt my neck and number two, it's high quality for the price.

25:28Like I think they crush it. So great Mother's Day tips. The other thing I'd add is your phone case, you got an R, a heart and a T, which I think looks very good. A lot of people are DMing me how they get the heart. I can't believe Balvar made a typo on your request and forgot the H, but that's okay. You're the heart. Thank you. You're welcome. And you said to get your wife's name. Don't do that. Because remember, you received some things, not from Harrison, with your name on it. And you're like, just put Tate's name on it. I'll wear it 10x more if it has Tate's name on it. Good call, Jewel. Good call.

26:06I love this phone case being a teen. It's so cute. I'm very obsessed with it. And the colors are great. Here, pass it over here and I'll show it. Here it is. Very nice. There you are. The baby's finally asleep. the house is quiet when the unwanted thoughts crash the party. Did I accidentally hurt the baby and not realize it? What if I'm a terrible parent and everyone knows it and I don't? Or maybe it's something that makes you feel ashamed to even think about. And that's where no CD comes into play. You guys, your brain grabs onto thoughts and it won't let them go. Now you're spiraling, checking on the baby again, seeking reassurance from your partner, but no matter what you do to try to feel better, it never helps for very long.

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27:23Visit NOCD.com to book a free call with their team. That's NOCD.com. So can we talk through your Mother's Day gift? Because the way I had the push present locked in and dialed in, I got to be straight. I am completely blind on the Mother's Day gift. So am I. I'm a little upset that you ordered something that could have been a Mother's Day gift. Well, I thought I could. That feels a little. I thought I could sit here and type this out to him and explain to him the order and which one to buy and all this. Or I could just do it. And they took Apple Pay and I just said, I'm done. I'm buying it. So I bought it.

28:02But what I want for Mother's Day, I don't know. I don't know. I think I'm going to have a, I think I'm going to request a pair of shoes if I get to request because Bubber loves the Pottos, which is what we talk about in our house. We've learned that you requesting is the best way to do it. Yeah. And so I think a pair of shoes and you know what, if we don't find them because we have a lot going on, let's just go to the mall together. All of us on Mother's Day and we'll get them. We'll take the whole family, go to lunch. I think I would love that because I would also love a spa day, but realistically I'm going to plan that for myself next Friday.

28:32so and you've also taught me you don't like services as gifts you like physical things as gifts yeah because i'll book like i know what hydrofacial i want i want to book it when i want to go i don't want to be away from you guys on mother's day i want to be with you so i do feel like that is that is a very nice mother's day a brunch to uh to thoughtful shopping that's that's my kind of mother's day some people probably love doing the spa but do you need to give your what your your partner a heads up that that's the game plan so it doesn't feel like you forgot about it well i think the nicest thing to do is have flowers and a card as like something to give and then in the card say we're going shopping but i kind of feel like you need to do that before mother's day or else you could it could feel like you forgot like almost you you know what maybe you do is you send a save the date so you go to the post office and you actually mail a letter and it's a save the date and it's mother's day and you you say 11 o 'clock brunch surprise 1 p.m shopping at your three favorite stores yeah i think you could also if if the guy had a price in mind he could do something with like a you could get like a visa gift card i don't know if you're like i want her to spend a hundred dollars take her shopping for a hundred dollars i think you could give her that in cash or i don't a lot of places don't take cash something like that i think you could do it with the price you can do cash as gift i agree i think you could do the visa gift card or you could do a nordstrom gift card and then say we're gonna go spend this yeah and even you go to nordstrom's you get the card maybe you don't even put the money on it but it shows you when and you did the act yeah because I do see what you're saying of like surprise we're taking you shopping aka we forgot yeah but I'm telling you just go maybe we go together okay Rocky is knocked out he's a snoozer he had his bottle and he is happy he is a snoozer what's going on with his arm what he just has it tucked under his head it's under his head it's not wrapped around you no it's under his head but he's sleeping on it he has been wrapping his arms around me a lot which is something Bubber used to and I loved it.

30:48It's the sweetest thing ever. I feel like this is a good transition into something that, once again, we don't have the docket, which I think is talking about

31:00the dynamics in the household right now over the first two weeks. And I think that one thing that has become quite prevalent is very much you're taking the lead with Rocky and I'm taking the lead with Tate. And it feels like there is an element of divide and conquer that has been going on. Do you agree with that statement? 100%. Here's the main thing, too. For the first week, week and a half, when mom is healing, well, heck, it could be depending on how bad you tear. It could be a month. And I can't go chase Tate around right now. So me holding him is a really good use of my time. And you can go chase her around.

31:46and go run and play with her. So yeah, I totally agree. And I think there's been a couple of big learnings that have gone on. And I think some things that out of the gates we've done right. And then some things out of the gates that we've done wrong. And obviously we're still super early into this. So it's fluid and changing and we'll make many, many more mistakes ahead. But I think one thing we did that Dr. Becky recommended that I love but that I think we took too far was on the introduction of Rocky to Tate. How we had Tate up to the hospital. It was only you and I in the room. We hung out as a family of three.

32:29We then got him from the nursery. And then the advice we were given was really focus on also giving her alone time. And so while we are doing an element of dividing and conquering, what we learned was that when we spend too much time apart, that flusters her. And she's happiest when it's the four of us. And so while on that introduction, I think it was really important that she didn't walk in on the three of us. it's it's really surprised me how much she loves being with the collective unit as opposed to just one of us well i okay yes to everything you just said i i wonder if there's a cause and effect element here of the way she met him and was introduced to him set us up for success with that and we'll never know we'll never know i stand by how we did it i agree for baby three I very much think we should do the same thing totally agree and Tate will be old enough then to understand a little bit more but I agree that that's really important to do it that way like it's not just mom and dad in here with the baby we're gonna go meet the baby together but what we did do with Tate where we messed up and it took us three days to figure it out and by messed up I mean we just we needed to iterate yeah we were she understood that she had a brother Bubba Rocky as she says we always say who do you want to go see Rocky she loves riding in the back of the car with them she loves to go say hi to him she likes to hold him for two seconds she wants to give him a bottle she understands when I'm pumping that that's Tay Tay for Rocky like she does not want us to shield her from the reality of what's happening she understands and wants to participate and we were trying so we over indexed on protecting her and easing her into it when you know she just was like I got it it's my brother I have one I have a brother now his rooms the blue stripes I've got the pink one yeah and and I do think if like part of the psyche that may be going on in her head is Winnie had a baba a baba and she loves when he's baba so much and I think a lot of it she feels like she got a baba it's almost like Winnie has a doll and she didn't have this doll but she really liked when he's doll and we finally were like hey you got one too and so she's so excited to have hers to have this baba and you see it in the dynamic of how the four of how winnie is to yates and then how she is to to to rocky um i didn't give you enough credit for that you said i think this will ease it for her and i was like no there's no way i do actually think that's been the most helpful dynamic is she's she sees she's with winnie every day and so she's with yates every day yeah so she just sees that there's two of them and yeah i think she wanted one and she's got one now and obviously like that there will be highs and lows through this and so while there's like an uh a ton of love out of the gates and accepting i i i'm sure that though that will overshoot on on the other side and so i don't want that to get lost like We still are, you know, not even really two weeks in here.

35:53Totally. But she doesn't go to bed unless Bubba goes to bed. Yeah. And so that's a good foray into routines and how the morning routine has changed and how the bedtime routine has changed. Because both of them, for her, have had very, very minor changes, but I think changes that are landing pretty well. So starting with bedtime, starting with wake up, one thing that Dr. Becky specifically called out for us is if there are things that you do with your son or daughter that are special bonding moments with each of you individually, do not stop them. And I think on this podcast, I've talked a lot about Tate and I's mornings.

36:43And so those have stayed intact. that is really the only one-on-one time that is existing for long periods of time but there is one major change and that is right when i wake her up in the morning the first thing i now ask her is who do you want to see rocky or mama and she decides who she goes and sees first it's always rocky which is no but it war but it's the sweetest that's all a mom wants all i want is for this to go well and her to want to see him and every morning she goes rocky and then she comes and she sees mama and she gives me a kiss and like then she runs back and forth between the rooms for an hour and if you're wondering how rocky's in his own room the night nurse is still in there yes so our night are precious and i get a lot of questions about this has the night nurse started and are you loving her she's fabulous she's warm she's on top of it like i feel so lucky but she She's working 10 to 8.

37:39So Tate gets up at 7. So Bubba is still in. And I think this is a helpful dynamic. He's still in his room. And I'm in our room pumping. So she doesn't wake up every morning and just see me holding him. Which I think has been really nice. So she goes in and says hi to Bubba and Diana. And then she comes over and says hi to me. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And then our morning goes as normal. with the caveat today as you alluded to like she legitimately spent an hour running between the rooms and opening the door and closing the door and saying hi bye hi bye hi bye and she would run into rocky and harrison kept saying do you want to go to the coffee shop she's like nope today was the first day since we've been back that we did not go to to the coffee shop and then on the bedtime routine, bedtime, what, or anything else on the morning routine?

38:33No, no. On the bedtime routine. So, um, the, the big change going on here has been, we had some struggles over the first couple of nights. And I think what we kind of clued into was there was the dynamic where all four of us would be in the room and then we would leave to put her to bed and i think that that was a tough psyche for her because she knew we still had rocky of leaving the three and also rocky is awake she felt left out and so what we do now is i is tate rocky and i go and we put rocky to bed and so rocky goes we walk into his room we put him to bed she we put him in the snooze she loves hitting the snoo button so we turn it into like the grand like okay we need your help and then she hits it with authority and then we leave the so we put him to bed and then right when we leave that room alex goes in and grabs him and i put tate to bed and that has been going um that's been going quite smoothly over the past couple nights and god add the head you're gonna tell me not to but we're still only a few nights here so things can things can turn quickly and we are well aware of that.

39:53But I think we're in as good of a flow as we can be from a routine perspective over these first two weeks. And very thankful for all the help we've had, obviously, between the night nurse, between our families in town, and so on and so forth. No, I totally agree. I think you described it well. I have nothing to add. Now, help. I was going to ask about the SNU, actually. Okay. Because I feel like you've said this for the last 10 months of the only thing that could potentially go wrong is that the snoo doesn't work with baby number two so i was wondering how it's going we so we got home from the hospital april 21st he he slept in this new april 21st and it was one of the first things i did and one of the first things i talked to our night nurse about was what i wanted to avoid was a habit of him only falling asleep in people's arms and I was concerned that if we went the first couple weeks and over the those first couple weeks he was always sleeping in my arms Alex's arms and night nurse's arms that then getting into the SNU could be tough and so we had him in the SNU night one and don't get me wrong he does a lot of sleeping on chest he's sleeping on Alex's chest right now I love having him on my chest but when When it comes to the nighttime, he is in the snoo from that 10 to 8 window.