Road trip with 2 under 2, deleting social media & should kids have chores?!

26:34No. No.

26:34Jules:It was always the 15th. I thought it was when Jules got back from her vacation Okay so here's the updates I'm going to summarize and you guys can tell me if you have any issues with this We're going to start next week Monday, Wednesday, Friday drops And the sub stack will drop next week Either Tuesday or Thursday And what do you think about I think more Thursday because It's my favorite day of the week Jules I'm so down Okay perfect We need to replace the Thursday episode Great done sub stack So Tuesday you won't hear from us Okay perfect Tuesday is my just, I'm going to do a bunch of random things day.

27:08Jules:Maybe I could organize my closet for once. You don't think that it should drop on Sundays, and that way it can also recap the week of podcasts? Well, that's why I thought Thursday, because it's like late enough in the week, and we can maybe throw something from Friday. Love it. Planned on there. No one's reading their email on a Sunday. No one's reading their email on a Sunday. Goodness gracious, no. Big Sunday email guy. That's you. I think owning the inbox on a Sunday is great. No one is in your inbox on a Sunday night. And no one is in their inbox on a Sunday night. Yeah, I would rather just gnaw off my arm and open my email on a Sunday.

27:38Jules:Totally agree with Jules. You know what maybe we'll do? Thursday, though? I'm feeling good. We'll do some split testing. Okay, perfect. We'll send a cohort on Thursday, and we'll send a cohort on Sunday, and we'll compare open rates. Are you going to sign when you come in and be a writer? Are you going to sign at Harrison? 100%. So should I sign the other one's Alex? There needs to be full transparency on who is writing. I fully agree. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to sign them. Okay, perfect. I'm going to sign them all at the bottom. I also want to do a couple like, I got a lot of ideas for the Substack.

28:13Can you confirm AI's role in the Substack?

28:16Jules:Yes. Only checking my grammar. Okay. AI is not allowed to write anything. Okay, I love this. I will be the writer of the Substack. So you don't know this about me, I don't know. Let's hear. Back when I lived in LA, I did this thing. and I actually just got a notification. I think I still buy the domain for like$6 a year. I had this thing called DTLA, downtown LA Alex. And it was a website and I would write and I would write every morning and I would email it out to people. And I would write anything. I would write about songs I was loving. I'd write about stories I heard. And I've always loved to write.

28:53Jules:So I'm very excited to do this. You're a very good writer. Thank you. I'm very bad at grammar though. And you're a very good storyteller. Thank you. So this is not surprising to me. So I'm excited. It's kind of coming full circle. I'm excited. And you know what else? What? You look very pretty today. Thank you. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's so nice. Yeah. You look very handsome. Thank you. Let's talk about our road trip. Okay. So we went to Dallas this weekend. And we had so much fun. It was really fun. I got to see my Oklahoma City friends. The kids got to play. It was like a blast. But what I. Very good time.

29:25Jules:It was a very good time. But we drove. With our two little. Our little kiddos. Three hour drive. And Jules was like, okay, any takeaways from the drive? Yes. Harrison sat in the back, in the middle back, between the two car seats, there and back. And it was a game changer. You need to divide and conquer. That's the number one parenting tip for road trips. Someone sits in the back. If your kids are two below two. We have two under two. So you've got Rocky Bears, who sometimes his pacifier falls out. And the good news about him is he eats every three hours. He was fed right before we left. And then we pulled in and he was hungry.

30:06Yeah. So we timed the drives around his eats. So he was fed full, burped, goes in the car seat, night night for Rocky. Yeah.

30:16Jules:But if the passy fell out, Harrison would put it back in. Because he can get worked up if the passy falls out. Now, Tate, I think you were on. I don't think you checked your phone once. We talked for three hours. Him and Tate. Not to me. They reviewed the elbow where her nose was. And we just, it was pure do not let her get bored. But I think that it was so much more fun for her. Just because like, she also saw like, I couldn't go anywhere. So she couldn't go anywhere. And you kept telling her that like, Dada and Tate are both back here for two more hours. I told her I would love, I would love to do uppies.

30:57I'd love to do uppies.

30:59Jules:We can't. There's no uppies right now. There's no uppies. you two you already have a strong bond after that car ride of you just explaining there there's going to be no uppies for two more hours daddy wants to do uppies tate wants to do no more uppies do you want a snack and then she'd go knack and we would have another snack here's the big question out of the car out of the road trip with two under two is it better to drive three hours or fly the 30-minute flight. So on the way there, I thought we should have flown this. Yeah. But then realizing, so you always say it's a 30-minute flight, but no, it's not.

31:40Jules:Because you've got to go to the airport, you've got to go through security, you've got to land, you've got to Uber to the hotel. But it's three hours all in of plane versus three hours all in of drive. But the problem with the plane is when one kid is out of the duna you're carrying a car seat you're checking a car seat i think energy wise we would have exerted a ton of more energy if we would have flown what's your answer so my answer is we drive i'm torn because the change of scenery would have kept tate way more into like you don't need to be on full entertainment duty i agree because things are always shifting up and down so i think that the reason why i go drive is because in the case that your flight gets delayed it would be the worst thing and so drive as long as you're timing your drive not around traffic i agree with that i just i it was also very nice on the way home But if I could guarantee no flight delays, then I would say you fly.

32:50Jules:Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. I'm picking drive. I just, on the way back, I was like, this is quite nice. However, if the kids were crying the entire time, I would have picked fly every time. So. Rocky was a rock star. Rocky was awesome. But anyways, this weekend was very special. We were celebrating my friend's parents' anniversary, a birthday, and Dallas. Like, I love going to Dallas. I think it's beautiful. I think the drive is easy. and then like tuck and roll out. Yeah, it was phenomenal. And that's what we did. So it was our first, it was Rocky's first time out of the city. He didn't even know he went.

33:26Jules:Good boy. He's so cute. Oh my goodness. And Bubber's like really having a moment right now. She said the other day, like I want food. And it's like she can now tell us that she's hungry. We can ask her, do you want eggs or pancakes? She picks pancakes. Like we're really, it's really, she's at a really fun age. If you felt stuck trying to lose weight, you're not alone. Enter Weight Loss by HERS. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals, and HERS now offers access to affordable ranges of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the WeGoV pill and the WeGoV pin. With WeGoV at HERS, lose up to 20 % or more of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise.

34:08Jules:It helps you regulate your appetite, eat less, and keep weight off. Plus, WeGovi is the first ever GLP-1 pill for weight loss, so there's no needles needed. Everything is 100 % online through HERS. You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door. No insurance necessary. Plus, you get access to 24-7 messages with your care team and tons of in-app lifestyle and nutrition tips, recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, and more. So if you're ready to reach your goals, visit ForHers.com slash 2Parents to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.

34:47Jules:That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash 2Parents. ForHers.com slash 2Parents. Weight loss by HERS is not available in all 50 states. WeGovi is the registered trademark to Novo Nordisk ASC. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, WeGovi clinical study information, and restrictions, visit ForHers.com. okay so speaking of rocky being like such a rock star oh rocky being a rock star we talked about last week with dr brown it you know him digesting the bottles and she was like he has classic reflux right and i think just naming that and knowing it has made it so much better do you not agree i totally agree like okay so giving him his bottle it's just i give it to him a little slower he sits up and now I burp him it's the cutest thing I like hold him right here and I lean forward so his heads it's almost like both of our heads are facing this way and I'm cradling him and his back is to me and like we burp that way he's a lot happier and then instead of me giving him the bottle being like why is he crazy see his reflux we get through it and then done so things have been it's a lot more calming yeah it's a lot more calming and so um yeah i would say that and he also loves to lay on his tummy which is really cute and then the other thing i want to discuss when it comes to kids is i made a video talking about the impact of a father on their daughter before the age of five because their core attachment template is what's forming during that time yep and i i was so shocked because i would think it would be their teenage years this would happen but no self-esteem is when it's below the age of five and a lot of people in the comments were like okay well what about why not a mother's role and the reason that is is because you are their first did you what did i say um you mean a second video no no i just responded to the comments being like well what about you know what what can't the mom form their self-esteem and it's Like, of course, the mom, the grandma, the aunts, you play a part in it.

36:54Jules:But the reason it's you is because, or a male, is you are their non... Let me look. Let's pull it up. I can't remember the way I worded it. I said this dynamic is daughters with dads. So this experience with a dad feels psychologically distinct from a mother or a sister. because even when a daughter, like a daughter just sees her mom as like an extension of her or a version of her or sort of like same, same. But you to her are so different, but it doesn't have to be dad, right? It can be grandpa. It can be an uncle. It could be... Interesting. It could be the neighbor, you know? And so I think it's a really cool dynamic to think about.

37:37Yeah, got to lock in.

37:39Jules:Yeah, you've really got to lock in. If you didn't see the video, basically daughters will ask questions like, Like, am I worthy of love? Which is like, oh my gosh. Or if I need attention, is that okay? And do I get the attention? And a lot of that comes from dad. It's just like another kick in the butt and reminder just like to be so focused and so present. Totally. And loving and caring and supportive. Yeah. And kind. Okay. So what else do we want to discuss on this? Oh, so I spoke on a panel last Thursday, and Harrison came, which was really cute because it was all, like, it was a mom's event.

38:24Jules:And I kept asking him. I was like, will you please just come and stand in the back? So he came, he stood in the back, and then he left whenever I was gone, which I thought was really cute. But you made a note talking about, because, so it was me, and it was a psychologist, and then it was two other moms. And the event was hosted by? Pure Mama and Nuna. Very nice. And the Pure Mama founder hosted the panel. And basically the psychologist was talking about, how did she word him? Postpartum mood disorder. Yes, postpartum mood disorder. And I was like, okay, well, can you elaborate on this postpartum mood disorder?

39:00Jules:Because I just know about, you know, postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression. But she was talking about how it can show up in forms of OCD, paranoia. What were the other ones? I didn't realize DEMER was part of postpartum mood disorder. I did not either. Yeah. So OCD, anxiety, rage. Yeah, rage. Depression. Yep. DEMER. And I think there's one or two others. Psychosis. Thank you. But I was thinking about it. if you have one of these postpartum mood disorders, you get six weeks of unpaid maternity leave, and then you just have to go back to work, like that would really take a toll on a mother. Absolutely, especially, and I thought it was so interesting about her talking about it, was just all the different ways in which they can take form.

39:57That we don't know about. Yeah.

39:58Jules:That I am pretty involved in like what's going on in motherhood, I feel like. Like I'm trying to read a lot, XYZ. And I didn't even know it could show up as rage, could be a postpartum mood disorder. You know, and like how scary and frustrating that would be. And then to throw on top of it, got to go back to work. Like, do you know that would have meant I went back to work full time at an office last week? Yeah, I think that we approach maternity leave fundamentally upside down. And it needs to be so much, so much longer. and we need to have a much better support system in place for mothers as they take time off and then return to work.

40:39Because they're not taking time off.

40:41Jules:They're taking time off of their job, I guess. Thank you. Yes, but they're going and doing something. That requires way more effort. Just understanding what moms go through now. Honestly, I didn't used to think a lot about maternity leave. I didn't have a feeling on it one way or another, but it's something that I do. you know, I feel very strongly about. And I got to figure out what to do with that. I'm going to have to do some research to figure out who's lobbying for more. I don't know. Okay. What do you want to talk about now? H town. You tell me. Let's talk about Amanda and West. What happened?

41:21Jules:So they're in Italy together. Yeah, they're in Italy together. I mean, it makes sense that you didn't see this since Harrison isn't on his social media, but it's just everywhere. like there's just a video of amanda at a dinner table just appears to be spitting in west's mouth from afar it it's like the most vile thing i've ever seen the video live yes if you just want to google amanda sitting in west's mouth like a man it's everywhere and i don't know like i don't know what actually i can't believe this reunion is three parts yes we get it tomorrow yes tomorrow the 9th

42:07what?

42:09Jules:I don't know it's everywhere I don't even know if there's much to say on it I just felt a duty to put it in the programming is there a chance that they're like blowing each other a kiss? I don't know there's no way that that's what people are saying there is this is like my whole for you page it's like cosmos written articles about it

42:36Jules:i think kyle put out a statement on it like it's everywhere yeah what did he say i didn't read it let's see he said it was um interesting honestly that's like all he can say um interesting that that to me is the case and this is the internet is getting it wrong she did not spit kyle said what the helly and they're calling it spit gate these two can't it well when are these two so i'm surprised they haven't been spotted more in italy they've been they've been spotted apparently they were um west was getting black for amanda paying for a meal oh come on no that's so funny they're being really heavily spotted like they're seeing these weird mannerisms and because i would think if they like i know if brad pitt steps out in it or kim kardashian like they are getting photographed right but with this social media storm that's happening like i I would think anywhere these two go, people are just going to think this.

43:47Upload. I'm trying to wrap my head around what I think of them leaving during the thick of all of this. And whether I love it or I hate it.

43:59Jules:I love that they left. Okay, I do too. I do too. Protect your peace. Well, not even protect your peace, but it's another thing to talk about. How fun. We get to now watch them in Italy. Like when you're on a trip together, you're with the person 24-7. If they were in New York, like he'd go to the gym. Yeah. But it's also, I think, it is great because like while I'm here for it. Yeah. I'm here for the trip. Fabulous. Fabulous that they left and were getting spotted in XYZ. I'm just I'm wondering are they going to what's their next move here do they post a photo together in Italy on like an infeed I mean the internet have they not infeeded yet?

44:51Jules:I don't think so no they haven't she hasn't posted she hasn't posted since like two months she hasn't posted since she posted the not the joint statement but she posted something afterwards being like, I'm going to go about business as usual or something. And then she hasn't posted since. And then it didn't work. Is he posting? I don't know. I'm keeping up with him through his podcast clips. And he's still podcasting. Yeah, he's still podcasting. And he talks about, he's like, well, I bought her flights and the hotel. It was okay that she put down her card for a meal. So he's kind of in it still.

45:27Jules:You guys know Tate is in the stage where everything has to be eaten on the move. Between Winnie and Tate, there's always someone making laps around the living room with a drink or a handful of snacks. If you have kids or pets, you know rugs basically become ground zero for every spill, stain, and disaster. That's why I'm obsessed with Tumble rugs. Before Tumble, I felt like I was constantly on my hands and knees scrubbing stains out of the rugs. And even when you finally get a stain out, does the rug ever really look the same again? Most of the time, no. Most rugs are either too delicate to wash or just a nightmare to clean in general.

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47:16Jules:I will say this. It doesn't look to me like she's spitting in the sound. It looks like they were going to do something and they didn't do it. I don't know. I agree. I don't, I don't, like clear verdict. I don't, I don't think there was a spitting out. Taking the internet by storm. But the internet needed something to take it by storm from these two. Do you know what I would love to see? Hmm. Is a video of them talking about how they set this whole thing up and they're like, we're going to drive. And they start trolling the internet. and they start doing stuff like this to just like mess with the internet.

47:51Like if she's just like walking in Italy and just like takes her shoe off and hands her shoe to West.

47:56Jules:I just think they - Just like start with like bizarre behavior. I think they are because people are like hating on her hairstyle and then like she just wears the same hairstyle like eight more times. Like I know that they know what they're doing. They know what they're doing. Jules, I don't think they do. Do you know how you know they don't know what they're doing? Because she's not posting. Because they're not doing a good enough job. It is bugging me, but I do know that they know what they're doing. I think she likes the hairstyle. That's what I think. Yeah, I just, I don't. I think that if they did, like to me, they're solid coring.

48:35They're very much solid coring now.

48:36Jules:Meaning they're afraid? Yeah, they're fully operating scared. I don't know. I don't know either. I just, I don't think they're in on the joke. agreed but jules does okay interesting all right let's talk about in the comments so last week our bicker of the week was is it better to arrive on time with nothing or to arrive late with a gift for the hostess now i thought the one interesting comment was a couple people say i love when my guests are five to 10 minutes late, even 15 minutes late, because then that gives them a little extra time to set up, a little buffer time, a little time for their best friend to arrive to help them welcome people.

49:24Jules:What do you think about that? I am fully operating in a world right now of like a 7 p.m. start time is a 7 p.m. start time. Do you think that's a kid thing though because like you have such a finite amount of time? Yeah. Before bedtime. time yeah and and also like as i'm prepping the food i'm prepping the food to be ready on time because obviously i do a lot of the cook i do like cooking for the guests so i love a 10 a little not 30 minutes late i love a seven o 'clock start time a 7 10 arrival you guys are flipping sides right now i know and i don't know why i like that but i just do i'm i'm i'm just i i i hate to do this to myself, but I need a backtrack because I was catching this live.

50:11So if we tell people to come over for a six o 'clock dinner, okay, I am expecting them to arrive between 6 and 6.15. I agree. If they arrive at 6.16, I think it is very rude. If they arrive at 6.14, I'm totally good.

50:31Jules:okay do you that to me seems a little ridiculous but do you want like to me there's a full 15 minute grace period and i'm planning i'm plating based off that 15 minute grace period but i think the minute you go over that 15 minutes like you you step into rude territory even with kids yeah i think that when you're like yeah because you're giving them the 15 minutes okay and do you think that they should arrive with a gift. I do not. When you come to our house, please never, ever, ever bring a gift. Okay? When I come to your house, I will always bring a gift. I will always bring a gift. Always. Even if that means you're going to arrive past the 15-minute grace period.

51:15Well, I will plan accordingly.

51:17Jules:No, Harrison, it's too hard for us to plan accordingly with two under two. So let me ask you this. Would you rather arrive past the 15-minute grace period with the gift or make it in the 15 minute grace period no gift those are your options which one you pick in i would get there 15 minutes early and have cookies being door dashed done i think you could drop it off the next from tiny boxwoods i think you could drop it off the next day so i never i'm like never learned the art of the hostess gift me either and so like this is something you're gonna have to instill in your kids hostess gifts and thank you notes like not something my mom ever did so not something i've ever placed value on in my yeah i was taught you never show up you never show up anywhere empty-handed even for your closest friends

52:15well that that's very different like when we go to the neighbors we don't bring anything neighbors come to us they don't bring anything it's when someone is like hosting you at their house.

52:25Jules:What was the example the other day we were leaving and you were like. But like for the neighbor's Christmas party yeah I would bring them something. It'd probably be like a funny joke but I'd bring them something. Yeah I didn't learn about hostess gifts until like I was out of college. And then I was like oh this is a thing you have to do. So we. Spring wine. No one cares. You just gotta bring something. We did a hostess gifts for like if somebody threw you a party or if you were invited to like if they mailed out an invite okay right like if they mailed you a dinner party invite and it was really a big to do I would take a hostess gift and that hostess gift would be like flowers or you know a step above something nicer what I don't love so much is these grab a bottle of wine take it over just to check the box I don't love a check the box hostess gift I agree.

53:23They shouldn't be check the box hostess gifts, but it's better to check the box and do nothing. And it's like, even if our good friends are like inviting us over to go swimming, like you just, you want to show up with some Aperol. Like you, you want to just be a giver to the party, not just a taker.

53:39Jules:I agree with that mentality. Be a giver. I just think we should dial in our gift giving. Like we need to get, we need to have a gift that we take all the time. I stand by this. I love this. I love this idea. I love this idea. Did you see any of the recommendations in the comments? Did we have a good one? You had a great one. You guys know I can't remember anything. Don't do this to me. Cocktail napkins was the main thing. Like, custom cocktail napkins. Really don't understand that. Oh, I do? I think, like, the cups that you got people for Christmas. Thank you. Those take so long. No, no, no. H, you don't do, they're not their last names.

54:15Jules:They say something like cheeky. Something, like, specific to you guys. Five o 'clock somewhere, but not. Love Tate and Rocky. You could do that. Yeah, I don't know. I'm still not on the train. So what I was thinking today is like we love Aperol spritzes. So we could do mini Aperol things and put them in plastic and like a bow on them. Yeah, I think we should just have like 20 baskets of Aperol spritz mix and we just bring them to people's houses. But then we'll drink them. No, we could do better than that. I love the cocktail napkins.

54:56Jules:I don't know. Another really good gift, by the way, though, just while it's on my mind, but it does require customization, is ribbon that says, like, the Fugmans on it. So anytime you wrap a present, you put that ribbon on it, and they know who it's from. Such a good gift. Very smart. It's a great gift. It's something that we should also probably get in general. Anyways, so that was number one, which is, like, some people love when people are a little late. Now, the other video I wanted to discuss was we talked about if your kid's going to stay up past bedtime, give them the two options of they can either be running or they can be reading.

55:29Jules:So many of the comments were like, my kids love reading. They would stay up all night long and choose to read. So I was thinking, okay, what's another good thing you could give your kid as an option to do to stay up late? They won't. You would never say you could watch cartoons because, of course, they would be up all night. But I love that kids love reading. But I was thinking, what's something else that they could do that would keep them awake in a positive light that's obviously not a punishment, but isn't something that they would love to do for so long? And running. I still think running.

56:02Jules:Running's a good one. Pull-ups is a good one. I think organizing your closet. Organizing your room. Doing laundry. Doing laundry. Folding laundry. Jules. Folding laundry is such a good one. This is exactly what I was thinking. Doing the dishes. what are we going to do? How bad do you, how badly do you need to reorganize your closet right now? Harrison, it is of dire need and it almost needs to happen today. Mine is atrocious because my situation, like I have everything labeled and nothing is in the label drawers right now. Yep. It's just a matter of what day do I want to do it. You've taught me though, like don't overcomplicate things like me organizing my closet.

56:40Jules:I would block, I would typically block off like an entire half day for that. Whereas you're like, it could be 45 minutes. if you just do it. Just hammer it out. Yeah. So I'm trying to make it less of a... I'm going to do it tomorrow night during the reunion. But see, I am so sorry to do this to you live. You won't do that. So what you need to do... Why? Because you want to sit and watch the reunion. So don't do that. Do it when you know you can just give yourself 30 minutes. That's when you're best. Okay. You love sitting and watching the reunion and we dissect it and we pause it. Don't tack that.

57:19I keep pausing the reunion and doing, what do you think?

57:23Jules:Yeah, like don't tack that with organizing the closet. I think I'm on a watch. I'm like, you've really got me enjoying this. Okay, things we DM'd. Ready? I had my second baby just over seven weeks ago and know from experience that every feeding journey is different. There's no right way to feed your baby, which is why I'm so proud to partner with Bobby, who offers expert-led support for however you choose to feed. In partnership with NAPS, a team of nurses and lactation consultants, Bobby offers parents a first-of-its-kind resource, the Feeding Room, which gives you access to live lactation support, expert-led sessions, and more with no judgment and at no cost.

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59:14Jules:And before it even leaves their U.S. facility, you guys. If it doesn't meet their rigorous standards, it doesn't meet your baby. If you want to feed with confidence too, head to HiBobby.com. That's HiBobby, B-O-B-B-I-E, to find the resources you need. And if you choose, the formula trusted by parents and loved by their babies, one million and counting. Okay, so Esther Wojcicki. Wojcicki. Wojcicki. I'm sorry, Esther, if I'm not pronouncing that correctly. So she's raised two successful CEOs and a doctor. Here's the unpopular parenting rule I always used on my kids. American parents are doing too much for their kids, according to the CNBC Make It contributor, Esther Wojcicki.

59:58Jules:It's the origin of helicopter parenting in which parents constantly remove obstacles so their kids don't have to deal with challenges. So our number one piece of advice is don't do anything for your kids that they can do themselves. Don't do anything for your kids that they can do themselves. I think that's a great question to always have in the back of our minds is can they do this themselves or do they need help? And that being the guideline as to when we step in or when we don't. So I think it's one of those great things to just always have top of mind. So let me ask you this. Bubber Tate now can, we can say, hey, will you hand me those Kleenexes?

1:00:37Jules:Yes. And she can do that. So what if we start saying, hey, take your plate to the sink. Just take your plate over there to the sink. Yeah, I think that we're, it's a very perfect time to start that. Oh, Bubber. Are we going to give her chores? And we'll need to help her do that because she's not going to be able to get off the table and off the chair. So we'll need to have her off the chair and then we'll give it to her. And she'll love it. She'll love doing that. We can explain to her the plate's cool. She loves to do what we are doing. Hence why she carries a bag around now. She's stolen one of Alex's bags.

1:01:09She brings it everywhere.

1:01:10Jules:She has taken my mini denim bag and she put, Tate, if I'm carrying it, she points out it. She says, for Tate. And it's like the cutest thing on the planet. So I give it to her. But the only problem was yesterday in the car seat, I gave her the bag, obviously because it's her bag now. But I left some lip gloss in it. And by the time we got there, the lip gloss was all over her face and all over her legs. But I think she thought she looked so pretty. She did. The bicker of the week, which I, it's not even a bicker because I'm fully on board with you on this. But Tate kind of calls herself Tay. She doesn't really pronounce the last T.

1:01:49No, she doesn't. So I've been calling her Tay. Now it's not happy. I hate it. So I've had to stop calling her Tay.

1:01:56Jules:Her name is Tate. And she calls herself Tay. T-A-Y-T-E. And so I guess the verdict being... Okay. That if you... No, I... But I think this is a double word. I think if you care about what I call her, then I need to change it. but I don't think I would ever tell you like if you called him or her something that I didn't like I wouldn't tell you to change it. So okay I'm going to push back on this completely. Now here's the bicker of the week. Within your household is it okay to say I hate the nickname you've given our daughter or our son? 100%. I'll give you an example. No I'm saying this is a double standard.

1:02:43Jules:No no no. It's not a double standard because I'm okay with it. But listen, let me explain this to you a little further. You have more nicknames than anybody I know. Yeah. You're calling the Allie Bears, Alex, Rocky Bears, Tatey Bears, Tate. I mean, we got a million. Bubber. Bubber. All of these came from you. Yeah. Okay? I love all of your nicknames, right? And they're very endearing, and I adopt some of them, and you adopt mine, and we call you Dudders, and you call me Mummers, and we have this whole little language that we speak as a family. Okay. yesterday you throw in tay and i'm like get it out get a band that's i'm like no because like we're constantly all talking to each other we have our own little language you throw in a tay and i'm like oh we can't we can't call her tay her name's tate she called herself tate and so i love i love our little family language but if there's one that i'm using that you don't like at all you got to tell me because we talk we're but if you're so close-knit i'm good with it is my point no like you use someone's on rocky that i wouldn't pick but do you not like them though which one's rocket man i think rocket man's really fun i love it i sing to him rocket man maybe you call him rocco rocco rocco but like if you like calling him rocco i'm not gonna say don't call him rocco oh i think you 100 should say oh i don't love that one yeah that's i'm not gonna that's what i'm saying is like we just we're gonna operate differently i will stop calling her tay but like if you want to keep calling him Roko great but Tay is short for like Taylor to me I think it's I think it's really cute because she calls herself Tay she calls herself Tate I don't know if she gets that T she does and she loves the second T okay yeah I'm good with it I also hate when you call me Alex okay Alexa I would prefer that Alexa like if you called me Al I wouldn't like that much.

1:04:42Jules:Allie Bears was just shocking to me. I was like, who's that? Me. Allie Bear, Harry Bears. The use of Bears is getting... We're like the whole world of Bears family. There's too much Bears going on right now. Tandy Bears, Rocky Bears. It's a whole world of Bears. Allie Bears was shocking to me. So I assume we're going to put that up. We're just going to put that phone right back up. Someone commented the other day, they said, I don't mind when Harrison checks his phone. And I said, imagine having a conversation with someone that's just on their phone like how is it any different um okay so what else what were we talking about before the parenting advice to the bicker of the week to what else alley bears alley bears the bears oh i have to go back to the things we dm's jenny bears and jenny bears the the mom is the mom of the youtube ceo and the 23andme ceo yeah and they're sisters Yeah.

1:05:39Jules:That's not mind-blowing to anyone else. Okay. It's not just like Joe Blow CEO off the street. I can't believe I didn't ask what are they the CEO of because I love to see the finished product, right? Yeah, YouTube and 23andMe. Okay. Then I do want her advice. So we are going to stop doing things for Bubz that she can do for herself, including when she takes the water, the agua. She brought Harrison a spin drift yesterday. This is all time. She brings it to him, and he's like, for dadders. and her face just drops and she's like for tate and harrison was like okay you can have it because she does not open soda yet so he opened up does not open cancer and he gave it to her and she just had it and just slurped it looking at him the whole time she was so excited that she got to have this binder but she brought it over to him for tate not for harrison for tate for tate and harrison was like oh for dadders and she was like is it for data no okay the other thing that's so cute i've been having her practice calling you daddy and she can do it oh she's never done it yet to me she's done it to me daddy it's so cute so cute i miss her um anyways okay on the ceo thing so okay so tate will spill her water on the floor big thing i think all the kids do it but we have her wipe it up which i think is a good thing but there's a whole and this will be for another episode because i need and it will also be for a substat because i need to research it but there's a lot of dialogue around chores.

1:07:06Jules:Whether or not you give your kids chores. Like why is making a bed a chore not just like a thing you do? Yeah, I sidestep that question because I don't have a view on it and I want to research it. Yeah, and I want people to tell us in the comments your experience with chores. Yes, because where my head is at initially is as she does things with us, they don't have a negative connotation to it and she actually enjoys doing them and I feel like the minute that they get put in the wrong bucket, then it becomes a negative thing. And so I feel like there is a potential art to this that I want to understand.

1:07:40Jules:Yes, and so I want to look a lot into chores, but what I don't want to do is like a chore chart where you can't go outside until you've watered the plants and vacuumed the rug. I want to do it a little differently. Yeah, but I think it starts with us. I don't know. I think if we like bicker about who's going to do the dishes, then she learns doing the dishes is bad. Harrison now I can't wait to take out the trash I'll do it honey leave it there that's mine that kind of thing and so I think that there's gonna be like an incredible amount of importance on the way we talk about all the chores okay well we're gonna have to up our enthusiasm I love doing dishes and that's honest I am also what's my favorite joy chore which she also loves doing too vacuuming I love to vacuum and now she loves to vacuum I should get her a mini vacuum so she can vacuum her room because our vacuum's too heavy for her okay so we need to do like a deep dive on chores but i would love people who have older kids than us to tell us what they did with chores if they had something that hasn't worked yeah anything that's successful please please let us know um do you want to talk about the motherhood index just published by peanut x nuna what was the one below that in the neighborhood collective effect efficacy oh so somebody dm'd me this and they're like this reminds me of you guys and it's this thing called the neighborhood um collective efficacy which is basically if it's less about the city you live in you know a lot of people are like i want to raise my kids in this city which is fine to think about but it's more about on your street if people that live near you are willing to help you raise your kids look out for your kids engage with your kids then you have a higher neighborhood collective efficacy, which correlates to loving parenting more and loving raising your kids.

1:09:45Jules:So they were like, I feel like you guys have a very high, they call it the NCE. And I was like, yeah, we would. And then the guy that was doing the video was saying, okay, so my neighbors would rank me very high because I will be outside. I will engage with your kids. I will help watch your kids. Also, the grandma down the street, she's going to help watch your kids too. She's going to offer something different, which is like warm cookies, for example. And so we've got a high NCE because we're not just a bunch of like, I don't know, people that go to an office from nine to five that don't engage with the kids at all.

1:10:17Jules:So I would say our street would rank very high on the NCE. Yeah. I don't know what the nine to five thing has to do with it because like you can have a really high nine to five you can have a really high and see with well have a nine to five job well the whole street could have a nine to five and they could still have a high and i'm just saying take a take a 30 year old with no kids that loves to go to work that have you know and then goes to happy hour isn't home very often has no interesting kids me yeah a jewels a jewels profile she's just like no like see ya yeah um and i it's positive reinforcement versus no reinforcement or negative reinforcement.

1:10:55Jules:But a jewel's on our street. You want to surround yourselves with other couples that are loving and positive and not like, I want to hang out with guys, with men that prioritize their wives and prioritize their families and talk about them in a positive light. I don't want to hang around a guy where I'm going to go and we're going to go get beers and watch a game and you're going to talk shit about your wife. Because, like, that is the type of negative reinforcement that you want to avoid. So I think that it ties into many facets of life. Well, it does, but think about it this way, too. When we fell in love with our house, we fell in love with the walkability.

1:11:42Yeah. And we, and those were the first two things.

1:11:46Jules:That was why we moved into the house, okay? we didn't even know the neighbors on our street at all when we moved in yeah okay then we met winnie's parents well they on the nce scale are a 10 out of 10 winnie bears winnie bears so they're a 10 on the on the nce scale okay then we meet everybody else on our street our street is so kid oriented i mean take our memorial day barbecue for example right like we just we have a literal like we have toys in the street yeah so that came with it but we didn't know that so i think it's it's something that happens a little bit more by chance less by choice you can you can pick your friends i'm totally with you but if we have a jules on our street that's fine that's great in fact because jules would want to live in the walkable area that we live but on the nce scale like jules might have the most pretty house on the street jules might give us the best christmas presence but jules might not rank high on this certain nc that we're talking about of like jules isn't going to come over and take tate for a walk but i think i do think though like if you're in your guys's neighborhood me you'd probably be inspired by by the the community around you'd want to be a part of it because you don't want to be like the other on the street even if you don't have kids and not into kids totally agree with that you probably like we have some people on our street now that I will give some of my PR to.

1:13:12Jules:They don't have kids at all. Are they dinks? What? We don't talk about that enough on this podcast. What is that? Dinks? It's a dink. Dual income, no kids. Okay. We've got... I don't think we have a dink on the street. We have a single... A sink? A sink. We have some sinks. Single income, no kids. We also have a great dog park where there's a lot of sinks. I've been seeing them. They're all hanging out together. It's actually quite cute. You want to come hang out? I always drive by that dog park. It's a little too close to the road to me for me. Oh, we have a safety issue. We should report this.

1:13:47Jules:Too close to the road. And it's on a downhill, so people drive fast. We counted, Jules, the other day, we're getting pretty Waymo heavy in our neighborhood. Very Waymo heavy, I would say. In Dallas, did I see a Waymo? You may not be in Dallas. I said that to my friends. I said, I can't believe I've gone a week without seeing a Waymo. I think it's the best thing ever. A lot of Waymo's. Yeah. Oh, I feel so safe when I see a Waymo. You're so funny. I also, on the way, on the driving, I used our cruise control. So good. It spaces you. And then if you get within three car lengths of the car in front of you, it slows you down.

1:14:29Jules:And then if you change lanes, it speeds you up. Like I was up there playing like a video game. It was very fun. I was really enjoying the cruise control. Typically, I'm anti-cruise control, but now I'm very pro. You did a good job driving. Well, I know that you don't believe this. I'm a good driver. I think you're a good driver. My biggest ripe with you behind the wheel is you in the parking lot. Your biggest what? Right. Did you say ripe? I said ripe. I said ripe. My biggest ripe with you is the parking lot. You just like, you overcomplicate that situation beyond belief. I don't want a dording.

1:15:08Jules:And I'm not, I'm not. Your dording to effort ratio is upside down. No, it's not. It is. Not the gym. At the gym, I have my three favorite parking spots. You were like sitting waiting for a parking spot. Like someone is, I got to tell the story. This can be our bicker of the week. There's got to be 12 parking spots, but she has a favorite parking spot. She saw the person walking to the car to get into the car to the parking spot. We waited for the parking spot. It's got a wide open space beside it so I can park on the line. And then I can swing my door wide open. There was an endless amount of parking spots down the way.

1:15:46Jules:Dallas and Austin have very small parking spots. Like to drive a Tahoe in this town would be very hard. Have you guys noticed that? Like they're very, like they don't say compact car. Like in LA, they say compact car, which means smaller car. All of our parking spots here are compact. Environmentally friendly. No, we're not. We're like, it's like the obsession with getting one more car in there. It's very, I'm like, just spread them out a bit. It's Texas. People drive trucks. Also, we saw something gnarly, which was somebody in broad daylight unscrewed the bike rack and stole all the bikes. What?

1:16:20Jules:Yeah. They must have done it very quickly. just like zoom zoom zoom it would be really easy to do in Austin yeah oh wow in the economic spread month wild move yeah that is wild um okay so are we good you guys we did it um alright well thank you for listening thank you for listening look forward to next week we're gonna have three episodes and a sub stack woo I love saying it because then we will do it um love you guys have a great week thanks for listening to another episode of Two Parents and a Podcast powered by Just Media House. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review.

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