Sibling introductions, play kitchen vs. toddler tower & is it OK to parent someone else’s kid?!

32:27Like you are just going for comfort. And I promise you, Skims is where it's at. Plus, their t-shirt bra, you guys, is such a game changer. I just ordered a new color, actually. Shop my favorite bras and underwear at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. So all in all, like the house, we're trying to take it over the finish line.

32:55And what I'll say, I would like to do like a third, because I have under a month left. And I want to be honest about how I'm feeling, where we're at, blah, blah, blah. And I'm excited. So I'm excited about this pool. And I'm excited about all these things that we're doing. Because I feel like they exist after I have the baby. Right, like it gives me something to look forward to, which is really nice. but I will say yesterday I broke down. I was just sitting on the couch. I just started crying and I was like, I feel pathetic. Like that's the only way I know how to do. And those are harsh words to say.

33:27Right. But I was like, I just feel really pathetic because I have a list of three things I want to do today. One of them being as simple as we've been doing gardening outside and I just wanted to sweep the porch off and get all the leaves off and get all the dirt off. And like, I couldn't even do that because I was getting dizzy and I felt dehydrated. And like, I was just, I was just frustrated with myself because I felt really tired and I was just happiest laying down and Harrison you're so sweet because he just came and he sat by me and he just said look he he pulls up these things like he'll pull up my accomplishments for the year and then he'll also tell me you know you're making a baby and then he'll point at bubs and be like you made that and like it's nine months of sacrifice but it's long-term gain and so you you always make me feel so much better about it but I do really struggle in the last month.

34:17I forgot how hard the last month of pregnancy was because this boy is going to gain half a pound, you know, each week. So you're really hungry. Your stomach's heavier. Your back hurts worse. And like, you're more swollen. And what I found is it's like truly slowing me down more. Like being in bed just is my happiest place. But then when you're in bed, I'm not getting anything done. I'm not doing things and I love to do things. And so mentally it's nice where I feel really good is I know with Tate, with your first baby, you, you don't know if you, if that ends when you have the baby, but now I know that ends, there is an end date in mind.

34:59It's less than a month away. So I absolutely can do it. It's just one foot in front of the other. And so I'm so excited for the baby um i'm so excited to not be pregnant i'm so thankful that i am pregnant it's just the last month like i don't want to make it seem like it's easy because it's really kicking my butt yeah you you're you're doing phenomenally well um i i think it's you know quite impactful that you um you share the struggles and both the highs and the lows especially because like when you're like right now your energy is like so like while we're recording like your energy is like so high and you're so positive and um and yeah yesterday was understandably so a tough day and um but you're kicking ass but i know how to get out of it too like i had i what i find to get me through right now is plans so yesterday we had pool mahjong planned and being in the pool pregnant is the best thing ever because it takes all the weight off your stomach and I love playing Mahjong too because it feels like your brain's getting massaged and so I went over with a lot of my really good friends to our friend Tony's house and Tony and Caroline's house and we played Mahjong in the pool and like I had the best time and it distracted me and I even told them I was like oh I was just like I had a morning and then I get to get there and then we have our friends over and that distracts me and so right now if I can attend plans I think that's really important um but like we were gonna go to the rodeo afterwards and I was just like I can't I will fall asleep on the way there and I will be I'll be probably crying halfway through but I do think I think a lit if I can do a balance right now things I get excited about like a coffee date with a friend and then know like I'm gonna have to get in bed that's what I was gonna say I feel like it's for you about making the right plans because there's the other side of it where sometimes I feel like there'll be plans that you'll have made and you'll be then develop like, I don't know if anxiety is the right word, but like when you feel like you've made the wrong plans and it's not what you want to do and it's going to take energy away from you, then it creates this negative effect versus like yesterday where it felt like the plans you made, like you were looking forward to them and then they had a positive effect on you.

37:29Does that make sense, what I just said? Yes, it's also important for me right now. Do you know what I realized when you were saying that? Remember the first trimester when I would make plans? And I would, it would truly, what I've just realized is this is way better than that. Because this is an energy deficit as opposed to like being nauseous and throwing up at the plans. Oh, yes. So like I will really take this over that all day. But what I'm experiencing right now is like, I'll take a nap and the nap doesn't, I see the, I've talked about this before, but I see all the dialogue online about like newborn exhaustion versus pregnancy exhaustion.

38:12And what this pregnancy exhaustion is, is like in the third trimester, especially the last month, you can drink a coffee, go right to bed. You can drink a diet Coke and go right to bed. And I know there's some of you that are like, no caffeine. I drink caffeine when I'm pregnant and my OB thinks it's safe. So that's not what this conversation is about. What I'm saying is you can, you can have your caffeine and then still go to bed. And if you take, if I take a 3 PM or a 5 PM nap, I can still go to bed at eight or nine because that nap doesn't give me energy. It just extends your day. Like it's not, it doesn't, if I took a nap postpartum, I'd be like, well, I'm not going to go to bed till midnight because I've got so much energy.

38:52Whereas these naps just, they make it to where you can get to the end of the day. Totally. So I don't know. I think a lot of people that listen to this are moms. And I think I run into a lot of you out and about that are pregnant. And I think sometimes it seems like I have a lot of energy on this, on this podcast, but I do want to say like, I don't have a lot of energy. Harrison, the number one question I get on in the stories I feel like is how are you balancing a toddler with being pregnant or people thinking about getting pregnant, but they have, you know their first baby and i'll just say 99.9 percent of it is falling on harrison right now that is no no no but that is how about you but i'm carrying the baby but you're helping so much with tate you're doing phenomenal but i think we need to be honest about how i'm doing it and a lot of how i'm doing it and i'm really lucky is harrison is is taking the bulk of tate it's the least I can do how are we able to take Tate swimming yesterday Harrison comes and I had five of my best friends they're helping to like and so at one point I laid on the lounge chair and put the towel over my head like I I just I think it's I don't I don't want to paint the picture that I'm running around with Tate you know and have all this energy because I definitely don't and so thank you thank you okay well we're gonna move on past that because I can until Harrison feels awkward because he doesn't want to make it about him.

40:22It's not make the pregnancy about the father. Well, I'm not making it about you. I'm just saying you are having to take a bulk of tape. Well, you're doing all the heavy lifting. Thank you. Okay, the last thing about Bubz. Bubz got a mini gardening kit and a lawnmower. And she won't go anywhere without her lawnmower. So even if she goes down to the basement, she goes and gets her lawnmower and takes her lawnmower to the basement with her. She took it to the coffee shop yesterday. But here's what I've. How long did it take you to get to the coffee shop? I've reached a conclusion on the lawnmower.

40:54Okay, what? She does not know it's a lawnmower. She thinks it's a stroller. That's why she likes it so much. But she likes anything she can push. She like sees us pushing her all the time. And so she wants to push something like it's a kid. So I actually, I think the lawnmower is getting way too much credit as opposed to. a handle with four wheels being pushed she has no idea that it's a lawnmower like she doesn't know it's supposed to cut grass no but the gardening stuff she like she takes the the shovel and and shovels the dirt because she sees me unsuccessfully shoving shoveling the dirt so like the gardening kit she actually understands the use whereas the lawnmower I don't I don't I think she misunderstands the use of it I don't think she's ever really she's never taken it to the grass she only puts it on the sidewalk yeah I don't think she's ever seen a lawnmower exactly so yeah I don't think she thinks it's it's it's to cut grass but I think she does think it's something that she gets to push that's purple and pink which is very exciting for her should we get her a baby stroller well we got a lawnmower so what's the latest trend in hiring skills-based hiring, which emphasizes capabilities over education and direct experience.

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43:36So we've learned a lot in the comments lately. We'll go there. We'll go to that section. All right. The first thing before we – well, no, we can address – no, we'll address this first. Okay. So I stand corrected because last week I had said we're not going to get our daughter the play kitchen because she cooks in the real kitchen with you. And so she doesn't understand the difference between a real banana and a fake banana. and like she actually puts all the ingredients in the cup. So I don't want to confuse her with the fake, all the fake kitchen things that you can do, right? Well, then I saw a lot, and this is why I love the comments.

44:13And then I did some research myself, right? So basically what we learned in the comments was both are good. Real cooking is good, but fake cooking is also good, mainly for imagination development, okay? So imagination, pretend cooking, and real cooking are both useful for toddler development because they develop different parts of the brain. So real cooking does fine motor skills, right? So you're stirring, you're actually pouring, you're following directions, right? And then you have sensory learning. So you get the textures, the smells, the heat awareness, like she knows caliente. And then confidence and responsibility because she does get to make it and then she does get to eat what she made.

44:53But pretend cooking, really good for imagination and creativity, language development. So her telling us like, I'm making soup. I'm making muffins. Social skills because she can serve others. She can role play. And then independence and storytelling inside their heads, which I do see both of. So I think it's beneficial. I've got to push back on that. All of those things you get from real cooking. She does not get imagination from real cooking. Yes, because you use your imagination in coming up with what you're cooking. But she doesn't know what you're making. You're telling her we're making egg bites today.

45:31whereas in her kitchen she can be like i'm gonna put the banana in the soup which makes no sense but in her mind it might she does that when we cook like we don't follow the recipes like it's six eggs bob does eight like if she sees anything on there she's grabbing it and pouring it in you see how much paprika she put on i did see all the paprika what do we make on the chickpeas It was basically a paprika dish. I think if you have 30 minutes and you want like – I don't think that fake cooking is bad. That makes a lot of sense. But I think if you have 30 minutes and the option between the two, I think it's a much better use of time to do real cooking as opposed to fake cooking.

46:16I think – but I think it's very beneficial to have both because here's the thing. You pick that you guys are going to make the chickpea cheese protein balls. When she goes to her kitchen, though, she gets to say, I'm going to pick all these ingredients. She can do that in real cooking as well? But she's not tall enough to go to the refrigerator. She's one and a half years old. She can't go to the refrigerator and pull out the eggs. So I do think maybe we should get her the little play kitchen so she can do both. And she can learn. Where I struggle with it is, does she know the difference in Tate's Kitchen versus Dada's Kitchen?

46:52Dada's Kitchen, you get to eat the food you make. Tate's kitchen is fake? I'm sure she'll figure it out. And obviously, if you want to get her the fake kitchen, let's do it. And I understand the use case of the fake kitchen because it takes 100 % engagement to do real cooking with her. And often as parents, we don't have 100 % engagement. And so that's the time to use the fake kitchen. But I think if you have 30 minutes and you're wondering what's a better use of time, I find it hard to believe that data would be supportive of fake cooking over real cooking well and here's the other thing the fake cooking will be a lot cleaner that's very bad so i think i think that i actually think if we get her the fake kitchen at this point she would really understand it i'm sure she'd love it i'm very pro fake cooking i'm very pro the fake kitchen i just think like to put them on the same level i i'd need to i'd need to see the studies behind that um because that that doesn't line up to me at face value yeah I don't know I just I do I do see what they're talking about with the imagination and the creativity and it being her idea I like that I'm actually like very into that here's what I think's gonna happen I think we're gonna get her a fake kitchen yep and I think it's just gonna be great fake bananas everywhere and we'll just see what that looks like but I I was I thought wow lucky us we get to skip the fake kitchen stage and then the comments were very quickly like no both are good and I mean they were overwhelmingly like both are good and I was like okay and And to be clear, I think both are good.

48:24I just think one is better than the other. But that's why I love the internet too. It's like I never would have thought. And I don't even know how all these people know all these things. So anyways, with that being said, the question becomes, is it good to get her a baby doll and start changing the baby doll's diaper and get a stroller so when I'm pushing this baby, Tate is pushing that baby? is it beneficial to get your toddler a little baby to take care of before you have a sibling come along and I thought the answer to that was no we were going to do baptism by fire just like bring him home but after reading what the comments were saying they're saying give her a little baby now and let her start taking care of it I don't I don't know it's like I don't know what I don't know I just wish somebody would tell me this is the best way to do it what I have landed on that I do like is a friend told me when you're in the hospital, cause I was debating, should she meet her brother at the hospital or at home?

49:20And the favorite thing I have heard is when you have 30 minutes, like, like the last 30 minutes before you wind up to go home from the hospital, have her brought up there so she can meet Bubba and then everyone leaves together. And I love that idea. But should she have a baby doll that she's pushing while we're pushing him? I don't know. because that's going to make her grow up so fast my mom would murder me if i didn't say this she's been asking me to tell you for weeks okay what does nori manage want us to know nori that the number one thing that i think no one told her that she was shocked by is that when tate does come to the hospital you're gonna think that she grew five inches and like is three years old now that it makes your first child look so much older and bigger the second you have your your second so Jules I have heard this in some of my dms I am not ready for bubs in under a month to just catapult to some teenager like this is just like so hard on the mom and the dad I feel like you're we were sitting on the couch last night the three of us doing tickles and she kept saying more we We were doing tickles.

50:31And I'm like, you're telling us our baby girl is about to grow five inches. And then we're going to have a new baby boy. And she's going to be taking care of her own baby doll. I was looking at her feet this weekend. And her feet are just like so big. And like when we go in now compare it to newborn. But I don't know. Once again, I do wonder how different we're going to feel. because like there is another baby at our house five to seven days a week or where we're at their house so like that baby goes home no no i i'm not saying in terms of the psychological and the behavioral side of things which i do think will be reduced i'm also saying in terms of like we see Tate beside Yates pretty much every day.

51:24Like we see her giving him hugs and kisses. And so

51:31like where I just kind of like, to bring it back to the initial question is what is the pre, we're a month out. So if we're going to do the pre stuff, we probably got to start it now. So my question on that is what are the one or two things we should be doing? If anyone has, has good advice. I'm good going either way on this. If we don't give her responsibility ahead of time, I'm not overly concerned. And part of why I'm not overly concerned is because she does interact with another baby every single day. I don't think it's the same thing. I think a lot of babies are around other babies and those babies go home.

52:10I think it's going to be very different when that baby cries in the middle of the night, wakes up and mom and dad are holding him because right now she's used to waking up and it just being us but what i will say about it is i just do wonder if that really is what creates like eldest daughter mentality like are we going to start that at one and a half by giving her a baby doll that she takes care of like then does that just bring out every caretaker gene in her and then it's just like because i don't want to really put that on her. Well, there's that great study that you sent over. Yeah, we can go there now.

52:47That was the things we learned this week, which is if you have a toddler and then you have another baby born, right? So this one's going to be baby brother. And you bring home baby brother. If you start to see your toddler acting like a baby or becoming super clingy to you, it's not because they're acting out in a bad way it's because around two years old that's where attachment is the strongest and so they feel their safety threatened so they're like wait you're supposed to be taking care of me but are you also taking care of him and so it's just because they need attention and the study says every 10 minutes they need to reset knowing that they're safe and I think that makes a lot of sense so by giving her her own baby doll to take care of I wonder if that would train her like I have to take care of myself and this baby doll as opposed to mom and dad are taking care of me I don't know I think I've talked myself out of wanting the baby doll I think I really want I don't think I wanted out the baby doll yeah my my brain kind of went somewhere different because it was kind of back to something that you said a little earlier okay what was it i do think it is unique how much time tate from like month three has spent with other babies okay and so i'm very curious how this transition will be relative to how it is in most situations.

54:22And I could see a world where the way she interacts with our new child is very different than one would traditionally expect. Do you want to give her a baby doll? If there's an overwhelming amount of either positive supporting data behind it or friends that suggest it, I'm all good for it. But I, if once again, like I'm good either way. Yeah. Like I'm not going to take the lead on getting her the baby doll. But if, if the information is presented that, that that's what we should be doing. And I'll definitely research it after because I actually now do want to know. Then, and then I would, I would take the lead on it.

55:17well one thing I do like about us is that we we don't know we don't know right so I do like that we're kind of saying let us know because on the play kitchen I thought I was like of course we don't get her one because she cooks in the real kitchen but now understanding the difference between the two is really helpful so I am with you on this I just I've had a lot of messages saying nobody said get a baby doll I see it in the comments some but the messages I've had for my friends have been have mainly been like just bring them home and trust me it will be wonderful anyone who's a parent knows feeding decisions aren't a one-time thing you make them again and again stage after stage and that's why little spoon is the best you guys and i'm not turning my back on little spoon anytime soon you guys because it's a trusted place to shop meals and snacks for babies toddlers and big kids all made with real ingredients without having to rethink every choice or lower your standards at each developmental milestone.

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57:40It shows up ready to go, takes the pressure off, and somehow still gets devoured, veggies and all. No artificial dyes, flavors, or sweeteners either. And you know what? That's a win we'll take every time. Get 30 % off your first order online at littlespoon.com slash twoparents with code twoparents. That's L-I-T-T-L-E-S-P-O-O-N.com slash 2Parents with code 2Parents for 30 % off your first order. And then the question to kind of what you said before, is the first time she meets him, we're going to go home? Is she not going to meet him, leave? You don't want, so apparently what we don't want. And then she'll come back?

58:22No, apparently what we don't want is for her to come up there, see mommy and daddy with another baby. Oh, my goodness. That's the worst thing we can do. That would be. It would break her heart. She would not understand why does she have to leave. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. So what I mean is sanity just like the grasping her seeing that Harrison, it would break our heart to think about that. so the two options are bub stays home the entire time and we bring her brother home which to me that that feels uh that doesn't feel like the move or she comes to the hospital before we leave and she meets him but the key here is we all leave together yeah no i totally understand and that to me is what makes far more sense than the first i think the hospital i'm going off of when you introduce dogs but you got to do it in a in a neutral territory because if you bring the baby home and you're bringing it into tate's home maybe she got a little defensive it's that i mean because that we were talking about this last night tate thinks we're in her living room you are that is her couch those are her toys and so for her to break yeah it's for us to bring home a brother to her it's funny that that um that visual of her seeing us with the new baby and then leaving has planted a massive seed of doubt into what i was saying earlier about what um how much it's gonna affect her oh are you getting sad she's resilient i i trust that she will thrive where where I think she'll get it where I think it will click is when we walk upstairs and we and we just put him in his crib for one second and explain this is Bubba's room like this is your brother's room this is why the walls are painted blue this is why you moved this is this is what this room is for and I think then she'll be like oh my gosh

1:00:24I think she'll get it then I know it's a lot it's a lot it's a lot to think about I keeps I think about it all the time H like this little girl who has constant mom and dad attention not just have our constant attention but like we're two on one right now it's going to be really confusing for her to be like whoa now I have a brother but I think I just know too though like she loves all these other little babies I just know she's going to love it and I think she's going to be so excited about it yeah Yeah, it'll be great. What's that look? What did I just say? I'm looking at photos above her.

1:01:20Don't cut this. He was on his Apple Watch. He doesn't know what I just said. What did I say? Why did he get so mad? because I don't want to talk to myself when we podcast I don't look at my phone or my gadgets it's not fair that you look at yours just when you're not talking I was looking at photos of Bubber because you were talking about Bubber what was I saying? what was I saying about Bubber? huh? no tell the class what I was saying because we have it on record so we all know what I was saying we were all paying attention has anyone else in the room checked their phone? I haven't checked my phone once.

1:01:59All episode. P has. P's admitting that she's checked hers. You talked about how you're just, you're doing such a great job and how appreciative I am of you. No. And how you're thriving. No, I was saying this little girl, she's got two on one right now. No, I listened. I can actually repeat what you said. Yeah, please do. how she has all of our attention and how it's going to be so crazy for her when there's someone else in the room now what do you think about that yeah I I think I've said all I have to say on the matter which is this transition is obviously going to be massive I think she's as well positioned as she can be and like you know all things in life when change is presented you adapt and you um and you lean in and uh i'm very excited for this this new chapter to begin um even if it's gonna create um i'm sure some challenges it's like it's so it's i'm so excited for it it's so worth it and i know it will be yeah okay and i i always think about it everyone goes through it like this is just a tale yeah we're not like the first people to have two kids no oh my gosh it's just it is hard though like it is hard to think oh my little angel feels like we're almost like overcomplicating it all right well let's not do that let's go to the bicker of the week so everyone has one go-to pan in their household right yes but the question is should your stove be panless or are you allowed to leave your one token pan out constantly so caraway scent this is great pan okay that pan is used for everything 95 of our cooking yes i think that pan belongs on the stove should always be on the stove my sister and mom are very much of the mindset that when you are done cooking, there is no pan on the stove.

1:04:14Here's the thing about Caraway though, and this is not a Caraway ad by any means. That's a pretty pan. I believe designed. I don't know if this is part of their tagline, but these, these pans are so pretty. They're kind of designed to be left on top. Now, sometimes I think we take it too far. And I think once you leave one on top, sometimes we have three on top. That drives me crazy. Agreed. I can handle one on top. yeah I think one on top is is is the is the move but I'll play the other side of the token here for the sake of the bicker of the week okay I do think after every single time it looks a lot nicer if you put the pan up and then the stove is clean because I do think you're setting the precedent I'm okay leaving things out on the counter now we've got the blender out on our counter constantly because we're in it we're in a smoothie era it's driving me crazy so I do think we're setting this We're doing a slippery slope.

1:05:05Once you do it once, if you leave one pan out, why not leave two? Jules, are you pan on the stove or no pan on the stove? I have a glass stove, so I would never – like I have a glass cooktop. Right. I would never. I think on a range, fine. On a glass cooktop, that would look weird. Agreed with that. Glass cooktop, I would say absolutely not. On ours, it's gas. It does look fine, but I think we should tuck it. But I think here's the question, right? like when you're done cooking do you put the pan underneath? Well I'm playing the other side. No I'm for I'm on your side here remember don't forget.

1:05:40I'm just Okay because last night when I brought this up you did say you'd rather the pan be underneath. I leave the pans out. But I was going to say you said that but you do leave the one pan out. I leave one pan out. I think everything else like that big Le Creuset thing that I make the sourdough in. What's that called? Yeah. A Dutch oven. A Dutch oven. That thing, when you leave that, I'm like, put it under the sink. Because that, so the thing about this one pan. It matches our backsplash, though. It's really pretty. But the thing about the one pan is it's breakfast, it's lunch, and it's dinner.

1:06:14All the time. That pan between your food, my food, and Bub's and Winnie's food is probably used north of six times a day. Totally. So that, for me, is fine to be left out. But the late crusade Dutch oven that is once a week max goes under. Probably two to three times a week. Goes under. Goes under. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. Okay, so we're in general agreement on this. Yes, we sure are. Okay, so this... Bubber. Sweet Bubber. All right. In response to us experiencing the first time that a kid was mean to Tate, and we put out that clip, right? And people were commenting, it is okay to say something to another parent's child if the parent's not saying something that to me i was like no it's not wait what so the question is is it okay to parent other people's kids not a chance the scenario is you're on the playground their kids being really mean to your kid people in the comments were saying it's okay to say something no you got to talk to the parent you don't talk to the kid i agree with that i well i actually wouldn't talk to the parent i'm just from the school of thought let's just let's just take our kid away like let's just go play with somebody else i think if it's if it merits a conversation the conversation is with the parent not the kid that i think it's wild to parent someone else's kid i would agree with you and but i'm not even talking to the other parents i'm just saying like let's play somewhere else just play somewhere else but people in the comments were saying it's okay to say something i don't know maybe we're not at that age yet tate's just one and a half but i'm just i'm just reporting to you what i read yeah that was just like my my general instinct on the situation yeah the question is though you know maybe when we're thinkery there are these two boys and there was this really cool um activation and it was wind and you put the ping like these little wind tubes and you put the ping pong ball on the wind tube and it would shoot it up and there were these two boys and they must have been seven or eight years old and they just were hog like they were hogging that area they would not move and tate was there first and uh and like bubs and winnie were like trying to get in there and the guys are just like boxing them out and um they'd run and pick it up and then like move the girls out and like i i was looking you were looking at the mom i was looking at the mom waiting for her to look up from her phone and she just didn't look up her phone the entire time and to me the the comment to be made was would have been to the mom and not the kids would be like hey do you mind talking to your son so he can give the girls a chance it's not to talk to those to those boys because i think that you just don't know how that parent wants to parent and i think that's a slippery slope that's my instinct and i don't know maybe my instinct my instinct in the situation is let's play on something else and come back but i do agree like i'm always trying to look out for in dance class and things like because i do think as the parent right now it's our job to step in and say hey guys give her a turn yeah and i totally agree with you like my general instinct would be and as it was in that situation was just to move on right if a talk is to happen though yeah i would rather do it with the parents i agree okay but yeah in that situation we had we had Bubba and and when he leave and we just said let's go do something else yeah but I do think um it is I think and correct us if I'm wrong if we're wrong granted like we have only been iPad died we've only been parents for a year and a half like a lot of people were saying you can say something to the kids I guess let us know how you do that and in like what scenario yeah my my assumption would be that you can only say something to the kid if you know the kid right so for all the kids on our block if the parents said something to tate i'd be very understanding of that right because they know us they know our parenting style they know tate right and i think and so that i would understand but like a random person just going and telling tape what to do on the playground that would be tough especially because we're very encouraging of her exploration at adventuring but we're also very encouraging of her like she has to take turns she has to share and we have to do all of those things but i would imagine we're not ever on our phones at the playground so like i would think we would catch that but yeah but it's why i do um it's why I love like the the one year in podcast yeah because then you can be monitoring the situation of what's going on but also not be bored totally totally no I hear you distracting on your phone I'm curious to see what people say on this one because to me I was like whoa you you you would say something interesting I wouldn't um also speaking of people saying something I really got I landed myself again in the land of I cannot believe you would show your belly pregnant and you want to know the one comment that got me because like okay so I made a tick tock of my outfit on Saturday night which I thought was really cute and people were like I just don't know why we're showing the belly that's fine I think on this we agree to disagree I love to show the belly some people don't no big deal there was one comment that got me what was it I never showed my belly because I don't need to feel like I have to prove something proof I was like prove something what am i proof i think i've proved it like even if i was wearing like a head-to-toe gown that covered me you can see the belly i just thought it was a bit of a i don't like to use this term lightly bit of a pick me comment because we're not proving anything with our stomachs sticking out carrying a six pound baby like i think we've proved it like i don't show you know like we're not proved like women aren't proving anything we we've got the baby in there i think people can see that you do what you want no i just thought oh my god i'm not proving it i just think the belly out is listen it's not you're not pregnant forever right so you've got nine months with it and actually what i've realized was doing the math yesterday you had 10 months with it we were saying i'm eight months pregnant do you know that i'm nine months pregnant right now is that right you're you're it's 10 months it's 10 months and i'm in the ninth because isn't it 40 weeks.

1:12:45Yes. How many months is that? 40 weeks. That's 10 months. 10 months. So I'm nine months pregnant. And I'll hit 10. And when I hit 10 is when I'll have them. That's very confusing to me. I don't know why I've heard nine months for my whole life. Well, everyone always says, yeah, you get pregnant for nine months. You're actually pregnant for 10 months. So you're only pregnant for 10 months. And I was thinking about it. And I was like, if you want to show your stomach, show your stomach. Like, you can show your stomach. Like, no problem. I don't have any problem with these comments. The one that did kind of strike me was like, I don't think I have to prove it.

1:13:18And I was like, well, you know what, Helen, I don't feel like I have to prove it either. I just sometimes want to wear a crop top. Well, there was one comment I saw and that comment was a lady saying that she wished that she leaned more into her pregnancy body and her bump when she was pregnant. And she loves that you're doing it. No, and I'm going to keep doing it. I love doing it. I think people are allowed to say it's not for me or it is for me like it is for me. I love doing it. And I didn't do it as much with Tate. And so it's fun for me this time. It's also really hot here. So it's fun for me this time to embrace the bump.

1:13:55And I'm good with people being a house divided on it. I'm not good with people saying people that are doing it are trying to prove something. Yeah. We already proved it. I loved coming upstairs. We're like waddling. You were so excited putting on that outfit. I loved the outfit. And you look phenomenal. Thank you. And I still love the outfit. Those comments don't bother me. I think people are allowed to say that. Like I think they're allowed to be like, it's not for me. It's for me. That's all good. But then, and then there was another comment that I'll address because this one got me. And it was when I said that you had to do the gardening.

1:14:26Someone commented, doesn't he do everything? And then I responded and said, he doesn't carry the baby. Yeah. And I really got him on that one. There you go. Yeah. I was like, well, this is obvious. This one's, this one's a slam dunk. Gardening is not speaking to me. it's really not speaking to me all of our flowers that we planted are dead like i like don't want to go do it i'm clear like i'm not like a lot of roles and responsibilities like i'm excited to take on like even i want to do the steps i'd love to do the steps but like this whole gardening thing it just feels like it was rewarding for a second when we planted the first two rows because they looked really pretty and then i watered them a ton and i put the growth fertilizer stuff on it which i know i'm not allowed to touch he put it on there and then i watered it on top of that and then they they were dead that was very deflating but we have the rest of the flowers which we have to plant we got to take it over the finish line from there i think we can outsource it it's not our it's not our jam yeah i it just feels like one of those things where like to You really need to put the time and effort into it.

1:15:40And I don't have the time. We also don't have a green thumb. We've had to change our orchids to be fake. Like we can't give an orchid a life. Why do we think we can plant a garden? Yeah, this was a total missed mark. It's not like sourdough bread, which you can just do like that. Oh, please. You said you were going to make some. Yeah, my plate's pretty full right now. I need to get a starter from our neighbor I officially like the starter I have sucks not sucks I just I need to feed it more but I used it all so I got to get the starter from the neighbor can I bring a starter back from like this much okay then I can bring our starter back I'll start that today okay well you guys we love you all thank you for listening and happy Monday or start to your week whenever you're listening to this oh we didn't talk about reality TV okay you need to give us our update We cannot not do that.

1:16:35Okay. I slacked this week. Okay. I just wasn't into it, but I may have a show for us to watch. What is it? If we have any feedback on it. Did you ever see Jury Duty season one? Love. You watched it, I thought. What is it? Jury Duty? It was like with James Marsden and a couple other known people, but they like pretend it was a pretend case and they were just like messing with this one guy that didn't know everything was fake I swear you watch this I feel like they set up a fake jury and they had one guy on the jury who was a real person and everyone else on the jury was fake and they just trolled him so was it a comedy show it was almost like mockumentary style in a way Yeah.

1:17:30So the new season is out. Okay. Is it season two? And it's season two, but it's not a jury this time. It's a company retreat. So they have a guy who interviews for a company. Oh. And it's like, what I love about it, it's like The Office. So everyone in the entire company is a paid actor except for him. I watched the first five minutes of it last night. I think there could be some legs to it. Okay, let's try it. They like have the guy interviewing. I was wondering how they were doing that because I saw it was a company retreat, but I was like, how would someone not know? I didn't realize they were interviewing him.

1:18:12That's great. Yeah. So they interview the guy. The way it starts is they interview him and they say, hey, for the interview, it's your job to focus on this retreat. We have the whole thing being documented. So you got to be okay being on camera. Okay. And so they set the stage really well. That's really funny. And I'll say the guy, initial read on the guy is like very good cast. Okay. Very good casting. Just seems like a really, just a really nice dude. A really nice dude. That's incredible. I get that they can't do jury duty twice because the person would know. I mean, would they? Maybe. I mean, I wouldn't have.

1:18:50I wouldn't have. That show is so good. You have to watch the first season if you haven't seen it. I haven't. I have never even heard of it. Oh. I don't know. So maybe if I see it, then it'll spark something in me, but I don't believe I watched it. So, okay. All right. So I don't want to say we're for sure going to watch it. I'm going to say we might watch it. I'm happy this is at the end because I don't want to tether ourselves because we're not really in the plate. Our bandwidth is pretty spread thin right now. So are you able to record on Thursday?

1:19:21We'll discuss. No, we're going to need to record Wednesday morning. Okay. All right. We'll discuss this. okay well I wish I told you Wednesday no but that wouldn't have been enough no because you knew I was going out of town I wish I told you Wednesday I messed that up it's fine it's fine alright so I don't want to say we're for sure going to watch it I'm going to say we might watch it because our plates are pretty full but if we do get to it then we get to it or if you have another suggestion for a show that we should watch together please let us know yeah let us know we love you guys and my only request is not to give us a show that's like 10 like that's more than five seasons in.

1:19:58Yeah, like don't give us Grey's Anatomy. That's overwhelming. I've already watched Grey's Anatomy through twice, okay? Yeah, your celeb crush is, what's her name? Meredith Grey. Yeah. All right. We love you guys. Thank you for listening. Thank you. Thanks for listening to another episode of Two Parents in a podcast powered by Just Media House. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook at Two Parents and a Pod. Welcome to our home. Sorry it's so messy. New episodes Mondays and Thursdays.

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