The 411 on Toddler Communication: Milestones, Red Flags & Tips (w/ Dr. Ari Brown)

18:00Dr. Ari Brown:That's not okay. That's, that's, we don't want to miss those kids. We want to support them.

18:05Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Interesting.

18:05Dr. Ari Brown:And how do you support them? Right. So the first thing you do when you have a child who's not speaking is checking their hearing. So we do, It's routine to do a hearing test on newborns, and that is checking for what's called sensory neural hearing loss. So if there's nerve damage where a child is congenitally deaf, you're going to pick that up in the newborn phase, which is great. And that's great. At the hospital, yeah. So that is standard. All 50 states do it. It's uncovered by insurance, which is great. But you can have something called conductive hearing loss where there's fluid behind the eardrum or you could get sensorineural hearing loss later.

18:46Dr. Ari Brown:And so the first thing you want to do if you have a child who's not speaking is doing a hearing test because if they can't hear, garbled in, garbled out, and they're not going to have that language. That's the first thing. The second thing is we will refer to a speech therapist to do an evaluation and then see if the child qualifies for speech therapy. Because, which we'll chat about, is if you can't talk, it's real frustrating to be a toddler. Could you imagine maybe being in a foreign country and you want to tell somebody or you need something, like you need to go to the bathroom and you can't find a bathroom every single day of your life?

19:22Dr. Ari Brown:How frustrating is that? So toddlers get super frustrated when they can't communicate. And so speech is supported, better outcomes when kids get early intervention. if they have speech delays, but also, you know, you just have a much better relationship and behavior wise when your kids can communicate with you.

19:40Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:On that topic of kids or toddlers getting frustrated when they can't communicate. One thing that you've taught me via Dr. Brown is rewarding Tate when she is communicating. So like when she is saying, you know, agua or saying more or pointing to something going and getting it right away and you know making it clear to her that we understand her yeah and in saying like i read that you know you were saying like you were kind of using it in a disciplined sense of like i can't think of an example but yeah if she says agua we'll get her the agua and thank you for asking for the water or if she's pointing like really trying to figure out what we're pointing at and getting it yeah the pointing is the one that I feel like is really become a, like a...

20:36Dr. Ari Brown:That's her nonverbal communication.

20:38Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:The important piece of it, like, that I went through. It's like, okay, like, if she's pointing, like, we gotta make sure right away that we're recognizing what she's pointing to and rewarding her for being expressive and showing that we understand her. Totally. It's hard to find people who are so good at what they do. Emphasis on the so good. It's like if you're hiring, how can you find the best people for all the different roles on your team? Easy, you guys. ZipRecruiter. And right now, you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com slash Alex. ZipRecruiter's matching technology works fast to find top talent so you don't have to waste time or money.

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22:24Dr. Ari Brown:a toddler okay so first of all let's talk about who your toddler is so once they turn one their goal is to be independent and in charge I'm sure you've seen some of this already your job is to make sure she doesn't hurt herself or hurt somebody else and so there's always that clash of you know goals here, but they want to be independent. They think that the whole world knows what they want, you know, like they don't quite get that concept yet. And then they don't have words to express themselves. And so it's super frustrating to be a toddler. And so what you see in that expression of their nonverbal communication, they will point and grunt.

23:08Dr. Ari Brown:They should, every universal, universal baby toddler points not baby toddler will point and grunt to show you what they want because they don't have words to express themselves but they also hit and they kick and they do some ugly things and they have a tantrum and you're like why did you just have a tantrum and it's just because it's the 20th thing that they couldn't tell you they wanted and they don't like the way you cut their sandwich and you know they explode so it's normal to have those behaviors because they're trying to communicate their needs and they only have, you know, a 12-month-old has one word.

23:45So that's hard.

23:46Dr. Ari Brown:Do you think being more on top of their cues then prevents the meltdowns? Yeah, so I think parents get really good at reading their child's needs and kids get pretty good at pointing and showing you what they want. And so sometimes you'll anticipate their needs and so then they don't have those meltdowns. But yeah, I mean, there's only a certain number of things that you can control, right? If they've decided that they don't like the way, you know, you put on their shoes before they were ready for the shoes to be put on or the, you know, whatever. They weren't quite ready to go to bed yet. Whatever.

24:21Dr. Ari Brown:They're going to melt down. And if they're tired or bored or hungry, that's when you're going to see more of those behaviors. They also go boneless. Have you had the boneless event? By the way, have you read Nuffle Bunny, which is like the best book ever. So the author, Mo Williams, he coined the phrase boneless. And so if you have a child who doesn't have words to express themselves and you're like walking, holding their hand and they decide that they don't want to walk anymore, they just turn into jelly. Like they go boneless. So like so sometimes kids, when they don't have words to express themselves, will just plop down.

24:54Dr. Ari Brown:We're not there yet. You'll see it. You'll see it. And you go, oh, yeah, boneless. She's going boneless. so yes but anyway the point is is you can't always um preemptively prevent these unfortunately but some of the things that are triggering are yes i'm trying to tell you what i need and you're not giving me what i need so if we get there if we go boneless if we're doing

25:17Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:a tantrum um if we missed the cue and we're having a full-blown meltdown then as a parent What is the best way to get through that?

25:26Dr. Ari Brown:Yeah, I mean, a meltdown is telling you that they're out of control. And some of it is letting them have that emotion, you know, come out and saying it's okay. It's okay. You're feeling frustrated. You're angry. Don't have a conversation. That is not the moment to have a conversation. Some kids just need to let it out and that's fine. And they can let it out on the floor. Some kids actually need some physical comfort. And so some kids actually do better with kind of a nice human sandwich and being held and kind of taking some deep breaths because you're co-regulating together. And again, I wouldn't have a long conversation with your toddler about what just happened because what they hear is wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

26:09Dr. Ari Brown:But you can have a very brief conversation about that didn't go well. You're frustrated. Let's find, you know, let's find a solution to what you need here.

26:18Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:So what I gather like over and over again, that's the most surprising thing, because let's say, take us, for example, we knew nothing about discipline, communication, parenting, and we're just kind of learning about it on the fly. And it's very, we're not at the age where you bother explaining it or you bother saying, no, you can't do you. You one remove the no, I find to be good. Like if so, let's say we haven't encountered this yet, but there's going to be a day where she wants to like slap somebody. What do you do then? You just go pick her up and move her or do you sit there and say you're not allowed to slap?

27:01Dr. Ari Brown:Yeah, you lost her. You're not allowed. That's that's gone. She doesn't get it. You can say no slapping. I mean, short and sweet. No slapping. And the thing is, is the reason why, you know, you can usually predict when they're going to do that. And it's somebody who, you know, especially with another child, I don't know, I know she's good friends with Winnie, whatever, like maybe Winnie has a toy and Tate wants the toy and Tate doesn't have words to say, hey, I want to play with that toy. So she, you know, she might actually slap her to get the toy because she wanted the toy. Right. So that's the situation.

27:36Dr. Ari Brown:And you can say, you know, so she doesn't. So what happens is a natural consequence. And you don't get the toy for slapping. And your friends don't want to hang out with you when you slap them. So that's the point is it made Winnie sad. We don't, you know, no slapping. And next time you'll remember, if you want the toy, she's going to have to point to the toy because she's not going to say the words. But as her language improves, which is coming soon, she's going to be able to say, I, you know, I want it. Yeah. Yeah. Mine. Yeah. Yeah.

28:08Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Or mine. One, and I like, I like a lot of your tips, the natural consequences. Like when you're cleaning up the toys left on the floor, maybe we give those away. Like if you're not like, so one of the examples in the book was if we have cleanup time, but you don't clean everything up. And this is when they're like four. Canceled it. Yeah. Then those all, those, those disappear. You don't have those toys anymore if you didn't put them up. Yeah, which is interesting. Or the bullying example you use of you're not going to have – people aren't going to want to play with you if you're a bully. And I find that it's so – you have to really pay attention to the way you word things of like, it's bad to do X, but you're not bad.

28:52Dr. Ari Brown:Absolutely. That is such a key point. So let's repeat that. the behavior the behavior is bad and you might even not want to use the word bad but the behavior needs work but you you are not bad saying that over and over and it's in the book over and over

29:11Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:again like the behavior that you're doing is bad but that you are not bad because if you tell a kid over and over again that they're bad they they believe it well yeah they start to internalize

29:22Dr. Ari Brown:I mean, so along with this, like, declaration of independence that toddlers have comes self-esteem. So that phase of development and that, you know, I did it, that accomplishment, that sense of accomplishment is what really nurtures your self-esteem. And so we want a kid who feels confident and feels good that they accomplish these things. No question.

29:47Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Yeah.

29:47Dr. Ari Brown:So, yeah. So you absolutely need to support that as a parent. Okay.

29:51Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Okay, now we're going to talk a little bit about discipline, but next episode we're going to talk a lot about discipline. Why does no become a favorite word for kids?

30:02Dr. Ari Brown:Well, they hear it a lot, so that's one of them is it's a word that's in their vocabulary, but you say no to them so much, they're going to push back and they're going to say no too. Again, their goal is to be independent. So if you say, do you want to go to bed? By the way, don't ever ask a kid, do you want to? Yeah, because they'll always say no. we're going to bed it's time for bed okay telling them it's time to leave the park

30:25Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:is i've heard it's helpful to give them two options yeah so not like do you want hamburger tonight do you want hamburgers or chicken yes so always giving them two options of things you want

30:37Dr. Ari Brown:them to do yeah and so everybody wins yeah it looks like a lot of this works for adults too interestingly yes human behavior but yes so she'll think that she's in charge she's getting to make the choice you guys still get whatever it is you wanted so win-win it is a really common theme it's

30:58Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:like if someone's like really upset that isn't the time to try and talk them through it which obviously we've we've talked about before like just the patience the reading the situation the controlling your own emotions when emotions in the room aren't um are being lost like all of this it is it is a great parallel like it's not just for um for the kid it's it's for life yeah and it makes sense in the morning sometimes we'll say do you want panqueca or huevos and she'll always say panqueca but it i guess we don't even realize that we're doing it there but we're just giving her two options we're not saying do you want breakfast we're just saying these are your too yep and then she picks okay when it comes to discipline what can they understand so let's use running away for example like you have the runaway baby um we had it for the first time in the airport the other day i saw she she got her distance a lot further from me than usual yeah does she understand no take come back here you can't run what do they understand in terms of discipline?

32:00Dr. Ari Brown:She probably understands the words no running. So that's it. No running. You can follow up with I need to hold your hand because you're showing me that I need to be near you. So but you have to keep it short. You have to keep it short for her age. But no running. That's about it.

32:23Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:And you talk a lot about timeout, supervised timeout. At what age does that mean anything?

32:32Dr. Ari Brown:Oh, it means something. I feel like we should hold off on that for our next, because that's a whole conversation topic. But the short answer is that sometimes parents need a timeout. So that's my pearl of wisdom is it's not always the kids. Sometimes the kid just needs their space. and you need to regain your composure. So I fully support a parent timeout and go into the bedroom for a second and regain your composure and come back out because you are your child's role model. And so how you are in a heated moment is how they're going to read it. And so if you can regain your composure and be calm, you can come back and be the role model you wish you would be.

33:16Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Oh, so it's more of a parent timeout. Yeah, so there's a lot.

33:21Dr. Ari Brown:yeah there's a lot of that but yes let's talk about that one when we really tackle discipline

33:26Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:okay i would love to i also i i just laugh about it and we'll talk about it because i don't think we're close to the timeout phase yet because

33:38Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:what would she do in time like put her in a i she would just start running around like she

33:43Dr. Ari Brown:would never stay she is so far from right and timeout is virtual okay it's not yeah so it's You're not sticking her in the naughty chair. Okay. It's a virtual thing. But yeah, let's hold off on that one. Okay, we'll hold it. That's a teaser for the next one.

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35:20Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:So check those out too. Okay. It's really good. Okay. Now we're going to go to questions from the audience. So a baby is communicating by babbling or making noises that sound like words, but pointing or waving, sorry, but no pointing or waving? At what point should I be concerned?

35:37Dr. Ari Brown:Yeah. So let's talk about some red flags. So again, nonverbal communication is what's happening right now. You know, you're 12, say 12 to 18 months, a lot of it is nonverbal communication. So yes, you might hear, you know, it sounds like they're speaking some foreign language and they're jabbering, which is awesome because they are saying something. You just don't know what they're saying yet. They should be pointing. That is universal. So 12 to 18 months, they're going to do that all the time. If you're not seeing your child do that in that 12 to 18 months range, you should let your pediatrician know, because that could be a red flag because your child is not communicating with you in a typical way.

36:23Dr. Ari Brown:What some kids will do that are, you know, neurodiverse is they might take a parent by the hand to show them what they want um or you know some other red flags are you should be able to say to tate oh look at that you should always say to say look at that light or look at that and if you point to something she should look to that point because she's engaged

36:49Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:with what you're trying to show her but not every time again she has to be in the mood she has to be

36:56Dr. Ari Brown:in the mood.

36:56Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:I find like sometimes she like is listening and engaged and other times like she just wants to like run.

37:03Dr. Ari Brown:Yeah. Yeah. And, and it's true. You may not get that consistently, but in general, they should be able to do that. So if you have a 12 to 18 month old who has absolutely no words, absolutely no words, you need to contact your pediatrician, let them know. The other thing is that some people will say, I don't, you know, I'm not sure they're, they're hearing me they seem like they're in their own world so if you call their name and they don't respond to their name that's another red flag they should again if they're super focused on something maybe they're going to ignore you but most of the time if you call their name they should do that so i would say for that parent i would say yeah you should tell your pediatrician so pointing is universal no question about it is waving yes if you teach them okay you know some of these skills I say oh do you play patty cake and the parent will be like oh no we don't do that so of course they're not going to know patty cake because they don't do that if you don't practice waving or saying bye-bye they might not know that but the point is is like pointing is wired in them

38:06Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:pretty hardwired okay so for this person at what point should I be concerned can I just double down

38:12Dr. Ari Brown:on the on the inconsistencies though and if that is normal and if it is not and like if they're in

38:18Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:the mood to wave versus not in the mood to wave and parental concern.

38:22Dr. Ari Brown:Yes. Yeah. So I will say that, so every well check, we have a huge developmental checklist and I'll ask the parents, you know, is your child doing X, Y, or Z? And people will go, I'm not sure if it's yes or no. Like, I'm like, okay, let's, this is very basic. Like, do you see this happening? Maybe it's not a hundred percent, but in general, as a general rule, would you say yes to this question? does your child do this and if you can say yes most of the time that's a check that's a yes

38:52Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:i think that's good yeah i i would say i've noticed 75 of the time i say tate she'll turn but there are times when she's playing with that new farmhouse i'll say tate like she's got nothing to do with me totally and it's like i'm not concerned but i just i i no no i want to call out i see a lot of like the waving thing this isn't about our this isn't about she will not she will not be in the mood to wave yeah and so i just want to specifically call that out and and for parents listening like yeah if it's not 24 7 it's it's just if they're in the mood yeah

39:28Dr. Ari Brown:majority have you seen it yes majority of the time would you say your child does this okay okay uh

39:37Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:how do I get my one year, this is a question I also have. I didn't write this, but I co-signed it. How do I get my one year old to hear what I'm saying? Wait, come here, stop. He just looks at me and giggles and does whatever he wants. Yeah.

39:51Dr. Ari Brown:So again, toddlers, they be like that. Toddlers are going to do what they're going to do. And if they're in the mood, they're going to follow directions. If they're not in the mood, they're going to ignore you. So sometimes if you really need to go somewhere, then you need to kind of create some, you know, strategy. So maybe it's going to be, we're going to set the timer for five minutes. When the timer goes off, it's time to stop playing and we're going to, you know, go get ready for bed. So you're going to set some boundaries and some rules. So even if they're choosing to ignore you, that doesn't mean that the party gets to keep going on, you know, like that's what they're trying to do is they're vying for more time or they're vying for, you know, like they have plans, they have goals.

40:36Dr. Ari Brown:This is what they want to do. And they don't want to stop playing because you just told them something. So you set the boundaries and being really consistent about it. So that's the other thing is your toddler is probably going to listen to you more if when you say that you really mean it. Following through is a big one.

40:54Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Yes. So if it's, but if let's say, for example, the airport's a big one right now because it's so not optional. Like we need to board the, we got to get on the plane and so instead of saying hey come sometimes I'll put my hand out to walk on the plane sometimes we want nothing to do with it so instead of bothering to communicate

41:11Dr. Ari Brown:through that do I just pick her up and get on the plane yes yes and you can even set it up for her and say when we're at the airport I always hold your hand okay these are the rules you know or when you're at the airport or when it's time to board I'm gonna pick you up because you know So expectations, like it's really comforting to know what's next, right? Totally agree. For all humans, right? So predictability, this is our airport routine. We always hold hands.

41:43Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Okay. That's the rule. Yeah. So just, okay, so repetition. Yeah. But as far as wait, come here, or stop, he or she just might not care.

41:55Dr. Ari Brown:Correct.

41:56Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:But they get it for the most part.

41:58Dr. Ari Brown:Oh, they understand. They understand. And again, it's just whether or not they choose to follow those directions. And again, natural consequences, we're making choices. Let me give you a global, again, this is a teaser for the next one, is we all have personal responsibility and teaching your child that they are personally responsible is so important for a life skill. Oh. We are personally responsible and we choose our behaviors, but our behaviors have outcomes. right and sometimes those are outcomes that we don't want right so that's where the natural consequences come in so you've chosen this behavior the outcome is I can't trust you at the airport so next time we're going to do the hand holding that's the plan right so they learn oh I made that choice and now this is the outcome and that wasn't the desired outcome so next time I'm not going to do it like that's that's the piece that people will say oh discipline doesn't work.

42:58Dr. Ari Brown:I've tried it 20 times. Well, they need 20 times to reinforce that that is exactly what the plan is and that that behavior leads to that outcome. And it needs to be one that makes sense because that's how they connect the dots mentally is I do this and this is what happens.

43:13Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:So cause and effect. And that's really good saying you are in charge of your person. Yeah. And what you do will have consequences. Yeah. But as parents, we need to set the consequences we can follow through with. Correct. Not like if you don't tie your shoes, we're not going outside today because then I can't go outside today.

43:31Dr. Ari Brown:Yeah, don't yeah, don't choose something you don't want to end up having to deal with. Yes.

43:36Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Pick something you're serious about that you can actually execute. Okay. Okay. All right. My one year old only says words by repeating after me but doesn't communicate on her own. Does that count as speaking or not? Yeah.

43:50Dr. Ari Brown:So that's another red flag. So when we're talking about what counts as a word, it's their word, the word they have come up with on their own. When they're just imitating you, that's called echolalia. That's them just copying you. They have to have the word on their own. So yeah, so if your child only imitates you and doesn't have their own words, that's a red flag you want to share with your doctor. Okay.

44:19Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:So, so far through the questions, um, no pointing is a red flag.

44:23Dr. Ari Brown:Um,

44:25Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:no words on your own. And if they're just repeating back to you, then that's not their own word. Okay. Okay. Um, how do you discipline when your toddler has a speech delay?

44:38Dr. Ari Brown:That's a good question. And I, and I would probably want to ask this person a little bit more. Are we talking about an expressive speech delay or receptive? Because if the child doesn't understand what you're saying to them, that's a very different situation than your child doesn't have words. Because if your child doesn't have words, again, they understand what you're saying to them. So I'm more concerned about a child who maybe doesn't quite understand what you're saying. And so then it's a little bit more of a physical thing than a language thing is, we're going to physically move you from this situation, or we're going to make your world a safer place, which I would recommend for everyone, make your world a safer place so you don't have to constantly, you know, make sure that your child is not going to end up in some dangerous situation.

45:25Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Totally. Okay. Is there benefit to bilingual or multilingual schools?

45:31Dr. Ari Brown:Yeah, this is such a hot question, like such a hot question. And I think it's really interesting. I don't have really great data on the actual preschool, you know, the multilingual preschool programs. But if you look at kids who have at least four years of high school language, foreign language, they do actually score higher on their verbal standardized tests. So there probably is an advantage. But the thing is, is it takes a family. It's not just your kid going to a multilingual school. The whole family has to you have to be in it like everyone has to be in it. So everybody needs to learn the language and sing songs and read books and use that language in the household.

46:17Dr. Ari Brown:So that's what really makes it more productive.

46:21Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:OK.

46:21Dr. Ari Brown:And and do bilingual kids take longer to speak? Also very common question. And so the answer is no. And so we don't cut a kid slack because they're hearing two languages in the household. They've got receptive language for both languages. Their output may not be what you understand. So that's the important thing is they may come up with, and it sounds like, you know, Tate speaks a couple languages here. So she may use Spanish for some words and she may use English for other words, or she may put those words together and create some word that isn't a word in the dictionary. but it's her word. So for a dual language household, you really need to be a kind of a detective and go, oh, that actually is the word.

47:07Dr. Ari Brown:And when families come in and go, I don't think they have any words. I'm like, go listen, go home, go, I'm going to have you, I'm giving you a homework assignment, go listen to your kid and see if consistently they're using that noise for that particular thing. So dual language, you may hear some interesting language, but the developmental milestones are still the same. Okay. Still the same. They should still have that language output.

47:34Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:I've noticed a lot of times it's syllables. Like pancake up, pop, like it's, that's how I can get it is the same amount of syllables. Yeah. But I don't necessarily always know the word. Yeah. I would love, I would love to learn skills on how to help kids feel seen, heard, and understood and help them understand the world around them as well?

47:54Dr. Ari Brown:That's such a great question. It's really important for parents to validate emotions. Again, this works for all humans, not just children, but we need to feel like it's perfectly acceptable to be angry or to be frustrated. Everyone's not happy all of the time. And so when your child is feeling those emotions, they don't number one know how to manage them and number two don't know what the word is for that so you give them the words so you can say I see that you're feeling angry or I see that you're feeling frustrated and then you help them kind of regulate which may be let's take some deep breaths together let's have a big hug let's calm ourselves together and then you talk about it but validating that emotion is so important.

48:48Dr. Ari Brown:I think that, you know, generationally, different parenting styles, and all of us have our childhood traumas, right? You know, emotions get swept under the rug. Oh, dust it off. You're fine. Move on. You know, don't cry about this. Like, it's okay. It's okay. And kids need to feel like it's okay to have that emotion. And then let's solve the problem. And then let's figure out how to calm ourselves. So and you can have those very brief, you know, conversations on a very toddler level. And then you build upon it when they understand. The other thing is teaching them what emotions are. And that's, you know, just playing games with them.

49:25Dr. Ari Brown:Let's practice. What does a silly face look like? What's a mad face look like? You can sing, you know, when you're happy and you know it, clap your hands, like all those kitty favorites. But then you can say when you're mad, and you know it, stomp your feet. Like, like let them feel those things. So they know the words for those emotions, because that's the only way that they can learn, right?

49:46Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Name the emotion, name the emotion and invalidate

49:49Dr. Ari Brown:them.

49:50Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Okay.

49:51Dr. Ari Brown:And then helps solve the problem.

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51:14Dr. Ari Brown:Here's another one that comes up all the time as far as red flags is, oh, he's a late talker. It's OK, because, you know, Uncle Joe, he was a late talker, too. And I'm like, OK, well, I'm not sure Uncle Joe was developing. Like that doesn't mean anything that you have family members who are late talkers. And I think this comes up more with boys. And that somehow parents think that it's OK to be a boy and be a late talker. The milestones apply to girls and boys. It is true that girls have a slight developmental advantage on language. They usually do talk a little bit sooner. But those 90 % marks that I told you about, that's for boys.

51:58Dr. Ari Brown:and we don't want to miss the boys and just chalk it up to, oh, they're a boy. They should start talking. And if you're not seeing their language evolving, I don't care about your family history. I kind of care about your family history if people have, you know, some things that might be, you know, developmentally different or atypical. But you need to check in with your pediatrician.

52:18Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Okay, so no matter what, if there's a language delay, doesn't matter if all seven of your brothers also had one,

52:26Dr. Ari Brown:you need to tell your pediatrician yeah i mean there might be a family history there that i might be needing to know about if all seven of your brothers did but yes but and and i just want

52:36Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:to understand this more so then you test the hearing like if a parent's listening to this they're like this is happening to me and i want i want to like add on i think to what you're about to say which is like you know the word red flag keeps coming up and i feel like that you know sounds like harsh and scary and so just like you know more so okay there's a signal that happens and then okay so a parent should go look into the signal because them looking into it can help solve it or diagnose it yes and you want to catch it early like what's the benefit of yeah right

53:11Dr. Ari Brown:early intervention best outcomes kids kids catch up they catch up faster so one is the outcomes The other, again, is your toddler is not communicating with you. They want to communicate with you. They want to tell you what they need. So the better you support their language, the less frustrating it is and the less behavior issues that you see that are really just, I'm trying to tell you something and I can't tell you what I want. Right?

53:38Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:And checking their hearing because maybe there's the fluid. I mean, you want to know if they can't really hear.

53:44Dr. Ari Brown:Yes. I mean, I've had kids who've had, you know, recurrent ear infections that have fluid in their ears for months. And it's like being in a swimming pool and you're not here or being up in an airplane. And so they're not hearing properly. And so their language isn't developing. So, yeah. So say it again.

54:01Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:Early intervention is...

54:03Dr. Ari Brown:Early intervention means the best outcomes. Okay.

54:06Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:So that's why if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, no, I think that there might be some quote unquote red flags for me. Early intervention, best outcome.

54:14Dr. Ari Brown:Yes.

54:15Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:That's comforting.

54:15Dr. Ari Brown:Yes. And I will say, and if you want to do a recap here on red flags and why this is so important, is pediatricians only get a little snapshot of your child at these well checks. We really rely on parents to tell us what's happening. And so we'll ask you what their milestones are. And we'll ask you, like, how do they play? What are they doing? So we are going to ask you these really important questions because we want to know if your child is meeting the milestones. But if you notice that your child is not meeting those milestones, absolutely check in. You don't have to wait till the next well check to check in.

54:53Dr. Ari Brown:And particularly kind of that 18 to 24 month time frame where we may not see you for six months. If your language is not taking off, we want to hear. OK. OK.

55:04Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:I mean, that really clears it up for me. Well, no, let me ask you. Will you summarize the red flags of communication?

55:09Dr. Ari Brown:Yeah, so kind of in the 12 to 18 months range, your child should have excellent nonverbal communication, meaning they tell you what they want, not with words, but with their bodies. They're going to point and grunt. They should connect with you, so they should respond to their name when they're in the mood and not hyper-focused on something. They should respond to your name. They should follow a point if you're showing them something. They should not seem like they're in their own world. they should be wanting to connect and engage with you guys okay I think that's really important um I'm just over here doing a mental check in my head and then oh all super helpful yeah all very

55:52Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:helpful so if it's in an early intervention best outcome if those things aren't happening okay and then is there anything else you think that we should discuss

56:01Dr. Ari Brown:I think that's it for communication okay okay I feel good about it Jules you think that that we

56:06Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:got it.

56:06Dr. Ari Brown:I think if we could get like what's the number one thing that parents can be doing at home

56:13Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:that can improve their toddlers communication.

56:17Dr. Ari Brown:Yeah so how to support your child's language development. So number one is that just seemingly insignificant talk time. You're sitting there in the car and you're driving. Just talk to your child. Just have a monologue of what you're doing when you're in the house. And even if your child is sitting there on the floor playing while you're cooking dinner, just talk about what you're doing or ask your child what they're doing. So talk time is super important. And I always tell people, turn off your own screens because that's what decreases the amount of talk time. If your screen is on, talk time goes down by 85%.

56:55Dr. Ari Brown:So that's the number one thing. The next thing is books. Like, make books a regular rotation. Maybe that's what you do for nap time and bedtime is you always read a book or two. But even throughout the day, reading is so important. I have families who are like, my child doesn't want to sit down to read. There are different ways of storytelling. So it doesn't have to be with a book. You can do things that are more active. You can get puppets and little finger play things that you can do or even a felt board where you can tell stories in more active ways. go to story time because then you've got skilled storytellers who are keeping the kids engaged and then music which is really a great way to learn words and language so sing with your child play music and nursery rhymes and things that rhyme are really helpful because kids will start to learn language through rhyming and then the final thing is just simple vocabulary word books so they're picture books and you can go through the pictures some of them are things like emotions so that would be a good one is like what is this face on you know this is a happy face this is a sad face but other things that are just vocabulary words and so another great way to sit down and work on language with your child because those those first three years of life are so important for language

58:19Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:development those are great recommendations even if you take one i think like during dinner time you sing i love that that might be cool like when you're making dinner you're singing together or

58:31Dr. Ari Brown:something that's those are really good tips we used to sing in the car i i love that yeah yeah

58:36Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:we have our spanish playlist that we now know the words to i don't know what we're saying but i think kate does um okay those are great rex thank you okay where can people find you

58:48Dr. Ari Brown:Okay, so locally, we're at 411 Pediatrics, so come visit. We'd love to see you. Nationally, I am launching Baby 411 in a couple of weeks, and you can find me always at Ari Brown, MD, on social media, and my website is draribrown.com. A-R-I.

59:11Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:There you go, guys. Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. And then next month we will do the discipline slash parenting episode. And I'm excited for that. Thank you so much for being here. My pleasure. Thanks for listening to another episode of Two Parents in a Podcast powered by Just Media House. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook at Two Parents in a Pod. Welcome to our home. Sorry it's so messy. New episodes Mondays and Thursdays. Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra.

59:50Two Parents & A Podcast Hosts:That's the OG. It kicked off this whole Zero Sugar Energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now.

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