The 5 Biggest Surprises of Being First-Time Parents

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1:27now. Well, I'm wearing gym clothes for a second straight episode. How do we feel about this? Well, I love it for you for a couple of reasons. Not a couple of reasons. I like it for you because I know you want to work out more. I've, I'm trying something new with working out. What is that? Okay. So the last 90 days, we've been very light on workouts. No, I've been good don't wee me on that do not do not drag me down i was talking we as in me not you you've been great i i've got my gym in the basement i'm going my boxing back i'm happy okay let me rephrase that over because you actually have been you've been really really on it over the last 90 days i have not been locked in on the workouts okay and i when you're not locked in on workouts I observe a couple things from you and the main one is you your whole day is dictated by whether or not you worked out like your structure goes out the window yeah I'm I'm I love starting my day with a workout like I really really do but I've I've I've struggled with the ins I've just struggled with like getting up and doing it right like the nights are are still long right like I'm getting up early with her and so like it's just it's hard to to get that get that like foot out the door so what i've been doing is i'm all about accountability and accountability partners and so i've now found so i have three friends that i'm doing a different workout with each um one day a week and so i'm trying to do five workouts a week and three of them i'm held accountable through doing them with with a different a different friend who are your friends i don't know if they want to be shouted out on the podcast i know nick you go with on saturdays and i know he probably doesn't mind yeah i you know well it's a it's just a first name okay do you know how many nicks there are in austin texas i bet it's a top five name here we have a nick we have a nick we have a blake i mean that's not awesome who's introduced me to this um he's got this gym routine okay that that I really like so you're not going to Barry's with these boys where are you going so Nick we've been doing Studio 3 yep okay because our favorite instructor moved over from Barry's to Studio 3 the guy did yeah oh and Studio 3 is actually great is this interesting and you guys went with him yeah okay So Studio 3, you know how barriers is like tread and bench?

4:17Yeah. Studio 3 is tread, bench, row. It's three. Oh my God. Not going to catch you. And the row is amazing. But Nick and I are actually doing barriers tomorrow. Okay. This is great. Yeah. You guys have also gone on a run together. Nick's doing two workouts. We're doing a boxing as well this week. You're doing boxing with him? Yeah. Can I come? Of course. We're going to Archetype. I saw that he went. Okay. Okay, so this is great. All right. And then ****. And then **** neighbor ****. What have you guys been doing? Walking? So we have to bleep **** name. Yeah, we do. True. We said it. Neighbor T.

4:53We're mixing it up. What are you guys doing? We're mixing it up. Okay. Can be a run. Can be a class. So I'm going to piggyback off this a bit of a long-winded gym story here and tell, like, I just need people to get a little bit more of a window inside of your brain. So we go to this place today called Cabo Bob's, which is the Chipotle equivalent. Julie, we were like, we're going to go to Chipotle. Julie's like, go to Cabo Bob's. It's like a better version. It's on the UT campus. So we go. I buzz through the line, get my meal, sit down. I'm Harrison is in line right behind me. I'm sat down. I'm almost done eating by the time Harrison gets over to me and he comes and he sits down.

5:35He's like, that was a lot. And I'm like, that was not a lot. You made that a lot. You start out by inquiring about the types of tortillas. But weren't they so good? They had six different types of tortillas. And she's like, what type of tortilla do you want? I'm like, what? That's a great question to ask. Can you imagine? What are my options? The long-winded Harrison. It's always corn versus flour. And so we talked through all of them. And then I was like, you know what? We're going to go with corn. Corn was the only one they didn't make there. So we had to go back. We had to go back. So he went back and got the other kind.

6:10Long story short, we did three tacos, her three favorite homemade ones that they make. So then he goes through this line. And you went through this line like you were performing open heart surgery. Like everything was so meticulous and he was really like building his flavor profiles. Did you get the brisket? So I got three different tacos. Do not explain the three. And I had to dress them three different ways. I got a fish, a steak, and a chicken. and there wasn't any overlapping ingredients between them. Are you serious? Yeah, there wasn't one overlapping ingredient. I would love to tell you the ingredients.

6:46No. Can I just tell you my steak? Because here's the way to do a steak taco, okay? Queso, onions, and a little greens on top. Done. Done. It took you an hour. The line behind him was so long. No, I was being very respectful to the line behind me. No, of course. Please, please. You're always very respectful. You're so one track. You didn't even notice. And I was just sitting there watching, and I was like, I'm not going to say anything. And the fact that you came and sat down in front of me said, that was a lot. I was like, no, it wasn't. I've been through that line a thousand times at Chipotle.

7:19They have the same ingredients. I just love how Austin, I don't know if most cities do this. Do most cities have their own set of local chains? Well, I feel like it's more prevalent here. I feel like in Vancouver, most of the chains are national chains. I feel like Nashville probably has theirs. Charleston probably has theirs. This is a foodie city. It's very entrepreneurial. Everyone's go-to burger place here is P. Terry's. You don't hear people really going to McDonald's. How we didn't know about this, what's it called? Cabo Bob. I'm shocked that you guys. It's like twice a month for me. I will probably, I may up you once a week.

8:03It's so good. It's really good. It's not the most conveniently located, but it's very good. And I was checking it out. It was super clean. And I love an exposed kitchen. Yeah, it's very cute, too. I love that I can see it. And what I was loving the most was the college kids on dates in there. Like, I just took me right back to the University of Oklahoma. There was a lot of dates going on in there. Oh, it was so cute. It was a Tuesday at what time? I don't know. Two, one, one o 'clock. and they were in their, you know, traditional, the good old-fashioned outfits. It was really cute. It was a sight to see.

8:33Okay, so what are we going to discuss? What's the topic this week? We're going to do top five most surprising things parenting so far. Can't wait. We've each got our five. We're going to popcorn back and forth. I've been eating pop. Speaking of popcorn, I've been on a big bagged popcorn kick, like out of the actual microwave pop. Wherever that bagged popcorn is from. I got it from our neighbor. She brought me some bags. do we got to talk about bob's birthday quick okay let's do it yes okay one came applause to you thank you great planning thank you and i think most importantly i think i think the the event was great you you did it you kept it so fun the whole planning process a lot of people ask me did we have a party planner and i said nope alex did the whole thing you did it in great spirits um and I had a really great day.

9:30One thing that I think set the tone for the day was we got there. It was me, my best friend Nugget, neighbor T and Harrison. We all went for the setup party and we were supposed to go at 3.30. Party started at 4.30. We got there at like 4 and the guys setting up the ball pits and things. Harrison said, hey, can you guys be ready at 4.30? They said, we'll try. I said, no big deal. Like what are we going to like? Okay, so it starts at 5. Like who cares? I do have an interesting observation though What? About kids parties Okay Okay I thought So the party was from 4.30 to 7.30 Yep I thought People are going to show up 5.5.15 When it comes to kids Yeah And kids parties When you say 4.30 They show up at 4.30 We had a 4.20 arrival We had a 4.20 arrival for the party Yeah we got there at 5.15 And I felt very late Yeah like it was already going I do I do forget that because a lot of people's bedtimes like people were people stayed till 8 yeah we left at 8 30 but I remember we talked about this and we invited people over we had all those families over to cook out but but I I yes we talked about it then but I thought for a party that was you know the venue we chose was like 15 minutes outside the city yeah maybe 20 for some people like i when i looked up at 4 15 and i'm like wow like everyone is kind of here except jewels i was i was just like that's different and i people started to leave like while a lot of people stayed late i did notice people were going home at like seven because of because of bedtime yeah they didn't push it on the over like they normally do no no it was great um i just thought it was really fun like it was it had we had stuff for the kids we stuff for the adults like we had the ribs we had the bar and then we had the play pins and lots of grass so the kids could kind of run wild and what was fun too was like there was a bunch of four year olds there was a bunch of two-year-olds and then there was a bunch of bubs in winning age so everyone kind of had their buddies yeah yeah so it was great um i left the night just like so happy yeah like i was really fulfilled we all know the rules for aging well get good sleep eat protein manage stress, maybe even try that cold plunge your friend swears by.

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12:30For a limited time, you can try One Skin with 15 % off using code 2Parents at oneskin.co. That's 15 % off oneskin.co with code 2 parents after you purchase they'll ask you where you heard about them please support our show and tell them that we sent you and like you know we get like the ridiculous like it was definitely more than one would normally do but we just felt like we wanted to celebrate I got her celebrate the past year and and what a crazy but fun one it's been yeah and like we're you know we just I was just like due to throw a party I felt like I totally hear you on that I just was like I haven't I just want to throw a party I don't know it was really fun it wasn't stressful if it was stressful I wouldn't have wanted to do it like that but it was great and then your two best friends came in town and my two best friends came in town and it was amazing it was amazing I think here's my prediction I think we're gonna throw a party every year not like I think we're You and I are going to just host an annual party.

13:35A Halloween party, a something party. A something party. I think we're going to find our lane. Because I had a lot of fun doing that. I do wonder if it's always going to be at that venue. I love that venue. I love the venue. Did I just love that venue or was that venue that great? That venue was that great. They were so easy too. They were lovely. The people were lovely. But here's the thing. I would love the same person. We've got Canadian Thanksgiving going on that we're going to our friend Dan's house at. If he did that every year, I would love that. And then I would – sorry, I'm drinking a Diet Coke out of a plastic bottle, which always makes me burp the most of all the Diet Cokes.

14:16I would love to do – I would really love to do Halloween or Christmas. The challenge with Christmas is you're competing with too many different schedules, events, timing. Let's do a Halloween party and have a costume contest. I think Halloween is very good to lean into. I also think in collaboration with Dan, I think we may have an opportunity to take over Canadian Thanksgiving and really turn that into like the Friends Thanksgiving. I don't want to. I don't want it. I think you have an opportunity for St. Patrick's Day. There's nothing going on here. Wow. Jules. But like, yeah, to me, it's we need to we can't touch you American Thanksgiving or or let's just see the Christmas holidays, because there's just that's there's too much travel time.

15:10Halloween's a Friday this year. Just throwing it out there. But we got we can't. So you go Thursday for Halloween. Yeah. You have the party Thursday because people like I want to use bubs on it, but I want to have like an apparent. Oh, or is it a kid's party? OK, hold on. I have to do this really quickly while we're on this topic of things. Okay, so the wedding episode we had talking about do you have kids at your wedding or not. So then I was going through my DMs again today. There's this thing called the Wedding Babysitter Concierge that apparently we should look up. But my favorite thing that somebody did, lots of people had babysitters at their wedding, which I think is genius.

15:44But somebody had to build a bear bar. And you built, so the kids were able to build their bears. And then they had little custom outfits on that had their wedding date. Okay, that's amazing. That is so cute. That's amazing. We did kind of talk about this concept of like the nanny concierge at the wedding. But I think what we reached the conclusion on on the episode was that doesn't solve bedtime. So like that's the challenge because your wedding or wedding is hopefully going to go past 730. So my friend Rachel, she's going to be listening to this. Hi, Rachel. She, I liked what she did, invited all of her friends, kids to walk down the aisle before her, which is so cute.

16:23and then she said they were all first on the dance floor and like that's really sweet that's really fun i know so i think there's like a lot of really cool ways to do it um but yeah it turns out a lot of a lot of babysitters at weddings happening um okay jules hand up

16:42oh my gosh speaking of our friends and family coming in town jules has got a great reminder for us because we owe a very big thank you to the line hotel again remember they hosted us whenever we were doing our wood floors in that like i think you call it a penthouse i don't know what it was i walked in i was like oh my gosh another great spot for a party actually but they gave us a phenomenal um room block and discount so thank you to the line hotel and as i was telling nugget they have the alfred coffee yeah and the veracruz like the lobby there pops off it's the best hotel I'll say it in Austin.

17:16Period. I agree. That's definitely our go-to. Well, it's where we stayed when we were living here. And our suggested one. I have a very random one. Fire away. If I wanted to do this. Fire away. Because I dealt with this today. You know how when you're eating, you're supposed to, and you're finished, you're supposed to put your knife and fork beside each other very cleanly to signal that you're done. Right? No. You're supposed to put them. Okay, keep going. not necessarily well when you're done you turn your fork over on your plate and then you put your knife beside it yeah okay so the fork needs to be over it's not just them being nicely side by side in the plate though in the plate like in the dish you don't you don't put them on the table you put them in the dish and that symbolizes them done yeah yes but that is what i naturally do i naturally have it kind of ribbed up like the little handle just on the on the border of the plate That's how I think it looks nice.

18:14Because I was working from saw us this morning and I left and I had to use the restroom. And so I got up to leave my plate like that. I was like, wait, this is going to signal that I'm done. And I wasn't done. And there was only probably three bites left. So I then made my fork and knife messy on the plate to not. It just feels like we need to fix that. There's this great guy that I love to follow for etiquette. and he was actually showing me the other day. I don't know his name. I want to follow this person. He's in England, but he was like, we would never take a banana and eat it with our hands.

18:50And he took his knife and fork and slid it open the banana and peeled it off with his fork and then ate it bite by bite. And I was like, whoa. Do you open a banana from the top or the bottom? The bottom being no long part, the top being long part. Do we agree on that definition? That's the top? Yeah. Okay, perfect. Okay. This is actually a really good debate of the week, I think, because I just saw a video where a girl opened it from the opposite of me and it looked very easy. I open it from the top. The top. I used to do the top. Much easier to open from the bottom. You're supposed to open it from the bottom, I think.

19:24Says who? Yeah. The monkeys. They eat the most bananas, don't they? Monkeys love bananas, no? I think so. That's the thing. Yeah. Curious George? All right. Do we have anything else there? The only other thing I'd like to talk about is I get this once a year. I have the very bad New York itch. Very bad. Well, it is the season. It's fall. I can tell it's buzzing. I smell an impromptu trip over the next two weeks. Okay, then let me say this because I do think it's worth announcing. Harrison, you know, the other day just announced his top three restaurants in the United States, and I'm going to say them for you.

20:06Four Charles Prime Rib, New York City. Ishan's Bar and Grill, Okarchie, Oklahoma. And Oddfish? Charleston. Chubby Fish. Chubby Fish. Charleston. Yeah. South Carolina. I am very proud. Very, very proud of that list. And I really, really stand by that list. Like, when I go, I've only, I've been to two of them many times and one of them only once. Yeah. Chubby Fish is unbelievable. Yeah. I would go to Charleston for Chubby Fish. yeah it's like it's a it's a guaranteed good night to have there this episode is sponsored by regain couples therapy powered by better help you hear us talk about therapy all the time and today we want to put the spotlight on something specific which is couples therapy you guys know that i'm a huge proponent of therapy and i think that that also should massively include couples there because there is nothing more important than who you choose to do life with and how your relationship works.

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21:52Let's get into our topic. okay let's do it no time like the present as they say all right i'll go first so um all right so this is the top five surprises of parenting one each there'll be 10 total number one milk supply as a whole and the pumping journey as a whole but most specifically milk supply varies so much and how hard the pumping journey is and how you're like, there's so many things with it. Okay. I'm just going to spitball a couple here. Number one, deamer. When your milk supply drops, like you just have a mood swing. Number two, when your milk comes in, it feels like you have the flu.

22:38Number three, you have to pump a lot more pumping equals more milk. You got to drain the boob to make more. Number three, like some people are just, they're oversuppliers. Some people are undersuppliers and some people are just enoughers. You have to take your pump parts with you all the time. You have to wash them. Like in the first three months, you're probably pumping through the night. Like it is such a wild, pretty lonely, um, part of motherhood. That's like, just, it was so shocking to me. I didn't expect it at all. So that's my number one is like the pumping or breast or if you're breastfeeding, all of those still apply to you.

23:17So like that was crazy. Yeah. I mean, makes a lot of sense. It was a surprise to me. Couldn't believe. It was shocking to you too, right? What a toll it took, how much consistent, just like the consistency of it, how often you were doing it. I mean, you, you rocked it and And I'm so proud of you for handling everything. But I think like birth, right? Like birth, pregnancy, birth. Those are the nine months that are mental and physical. Yeah. But then pumping. And then, of course, your postpartum recovery is also mental and highly physical. But what was so surprising is pumping then, pumping or breastfeeding, as long as you do it for, is also mental and physical.

24:03Yeah. So it was kind of crazy. Yeah. Okay, go. What's yours? Mine was, or mine is, I was surprised by how much you can do with them in the first year. Okay, minus the first three months. No, no, no. Okay. Oh, I see. Like, I thought we'd be way more, like, locked down on the house than we were. and like especially in those first nine months the ability to take them for rest to take them to restaurants the ability to travel the ability to really bring them into your day-to-day and bring them to activities um that was like a huge huge surprise we went to new york the first trip we took was the day after halloween remember yeah um i'm not gonna call that easy because there was a lot of schlepping and things like that but in terms of bubber that was easy yeah she slept on the airplane the whole way there she slept at every restaurant that we went to and other than that we just held her yeah very much like the first nine months couldn't believe how we could and i know we're very lucky and everyone is different but how we could bring her to pretty much everything that that we were doing but at nine months that's when it's changed and i was also a surprise like i would think that it would be easier to travel with her at nine months than three months.

25:28No, that girl does not want to sit still. No. Where did we just fly? Little scooter. Where did we just fly? Oh, Tulsa and Oklahoma City. Yeah. And the Oklahoma City flight back here was, I mean, like door to door, it's 50 minutes. Yeah. That's it. Done. Bubbers is all over that plane. Yeah. She's all over it. That to me, like an under-hour flight, very, very manageable. You can do it. I can, like, we can really entertain her for that hour. It's when we start going east-west and we're three, four hours, and she very quickly gets born. Like New York might not happen. Our friends, Colton and Jordan, they had a really good idea for flight attendants when you have a baby.

26:15So you know how people online, they do, like, the little baggies for the people around them. It's kind of a lot. They don't do that, But they keep like a couple$25,$50 Starbucks gift cards in their wallets. And if they have a flight attendant that's like really helpful to them, like sanitize their bottle or something like that, they give a Starbucks gift card. And I thought that was very kind of them. Okay. I thought you were going to say they gave it to the people around them and I was not for it. I am so for it for the flight attendant. The one we had to L.A., who was it? we have had a couple gold star trip-changing flight attendants that are so sweet.

26:59And I really do love that. My foot's asleep. Okay, I'm for this idea. I thought it was very nice. Yeah. I saw people... I think that's a great idea. I saw a guy get one of those bags. The bags are a lot. He was on the receiving end of the bag, and he made a TikTok, and he was like, this is how bad humanity's gotten that these sweet parents had to make a bag like this is how much we're all assholes to each other that i had to i've received a bag when it's like i have noise canceling headphones whatever happens with your kid i'll be okay i i love the gesture of the bag i also the reality of the bag you're probably going to swing and miss finding like giving people what they actually want okay well what do you want in your airplane bag from a first-time parent flying that's saying sorry if my kid cries what do you want in that bag some flock chicken skins.

27:45Shout out flock. Okay well here's what I want. On airplanes I always want something sweet and then I want something salty so I would like like a some version of candy maybe like some some what are those called smart smart sweets smart sweets and then I would like some pretzels and then what else? Am I allowed to do this with my legs? Yeah. Yes. What else what else would you want in your bag let's go let's go back to the surprises I don't really want anything else I don't want anything from strangers I kind of agree I agree yeah don't give me a bag okay um okay what's okay all right so that was good I agree here's my second one your capacity for love grows so the best way that I could describe your capacity for love growing is I thought before we had Tate, my heart was really like full, full of love.

28:37Once she was born, what I realized is my heart grew, right? So it's not like you make space in your heart. It's that your heart actually gets bigger. They say when you have your kid and I've also found like me to be more full of love towards other people since having her. Okay. I love this and I'm going to switch up my order and I'm going to build off of this. Okay. So give us your second. Okay. My second one, which was initially my fourth one is I'm, I'm, I've been very surprised at how much I love each chapter or each phase or each month, but somehow I love the next month even more than the one prior.

29:21Yeah. Like those three months first three months in the moment like i i was overjoyed and now when i look back at those first three months now like i somehow even love things more yeah does that make sense it does make sense and it's and it's all and it kind of goes back to your point of like the expansion of of heart and expansion of love like and no i haven't been uploading content lately i think I may need to come out of retirement because I've got some fire fire content right now her communicating right now and there's this kind of thing she's been doing and saying that which is that that that that that that that that there's a video that we may need I don't know if it's gonna see the light of day but it is her at the door sometimes he says dadah instead of dadah and And then she figures it out.

30:17Oh, and her new one, her word right now is agua. She was asking, Maria was like, she's saying agua. And I was like, she is saying agua. And then all morning, agua. Agua? So I went and got her water. And every morning, after she finishes her bottle, first thing she does right after she finishes, I think it's the cutest thing in the world, just turns right to her left and jumps like a snake to go give you a hug and a kiss. The cutest thing. I got my little morning cuddles, morning bottle with dad. No, done right to mom. It's the cutest thing on the planet. I'm obsessed with her. But I agree with this because in the first three months you think, I remember thinking, I don't want this time to end.

30:59She's so little. I don't want her to get bigger. Every month after that I'm like, this is the best phase. No, this is the best phase. I used to love her sleeping on my chest. Love, love, love her sleeping on my chest. but now she knows how to come and crawl on my chest yeah and she wants to come in and hang out on my chest and that's like oh my goodness she's learned how to take five steps and it is her little leggies it is deathly it's the cutest thing on the planet oh it just like melts me okay we don't need to do like this does not need to be just do another 12 minutes of this i know i could okay i love her too so it's fine thanks jules jules finally jules wasn't a kid person but now she is i'm not a fresh baby person yeah this is a good people will relate i actually 100 % get that maybe not anyone listening to this podcast no sure when they when they don't have neck stabilized when their necks like aren't stabilized that's like a really really um it's a delicate time they're like a pet rock time have you seen this anthropology rock i wanted to do this to harrison yeah that's for sale what is it it's like this it's a really cool rock and it's like 800 bucks people have been buying in and i wanted to get it no no no no that is ridiculous we'll discuss that in our finance episode but it's okay no i was just kidding it's actually but it's a trend people like do on people so they're like i got this rock and the guys are like they're just grabbing like a random rock from outside and like putting it on the table and they're like well how much is that and they're like it's 800 bucks in anthropology and they're like what why did we not do this to me i know i actually thought about it.

32:38I mean, that would have been, yeah, I mean, I would have like hook, line and sinkered on that. Yeah. He would have been like very confused. Um, okay. My third one is how quickly you adapt. So things that seem impossible at first, and then they become second nature. So for, well, I think, I honestly think the best example of this is the breastfeeding, um, or the pumping, like it seems so daunting or overwhelming at first or introducing solids. or no, the biggest one of how quickly you adapt is your schedule changes. So my mornings used to be the most important thing to me. I would wake up, I would journal, I would get my coffee, I would meditate, I would work out.