Toddler independence, sleeping through the night & is social media the new smoking?!

30:21Kills me not having Jules chuckle at my bad jokes. These jokes, they're coming out and then they're just falling on deaf ears, full silence. Apparently Alex doesn't think I'm funny. I've already said that I think you're funny. You don't think I'm funny. That was the joke. The other, okay. If you have to explain your jokes, they're not good. But the other thing that I'm sad about with you is I went shopping and you didn't ask what I got.

30:46And I told you like two or three times that I went with your mom. And then I got some things. And then I had the bag sitting there. And you never asked. And today your mom said, did you show Harrison? And I said, no, because he didn't ask what I got. What I'm digesting right now is, is this something that I should care about? I would hope. But. Like you didn't care at all what I got yesterday. No, I all, as long as you're happy, that's all I care about. But I like to share these things with you. So then if you, if you sharing it with me gives you joy, then I'd love it. But I don't want to share it with you.

31:29We don't care. But I care if you, I care. if the experience gives you joy no i want you to genuinely be like what did you get like if you came home i think like dead ass with the shopping bag i'm like show me everything i think you look great whether you're wearing the pr answer is a pr no no i'm not i'm not kidding though like i think you always look great that's what and and whether you're in the most casual of things or or dressed up. Like I don't have a preference for like, if we go on a date night and you're wearing sweatpants, great with me. If you're, we're going to date night and you're wearing a beautiful dress and heels great by me.

32:12And so like, because everything you, because I love everything that, that you buy. Um, I just like, it's like, you're going to look great. Yeah. I just wanted to show you what I got. Well, we're going to look when we get home. Yeah. That's the spirit. Yeah. Because I want to talk to you about it. Okay. Now, here's the other thing that I was talking to a friend about that I really love to do. Okay. The saying that we sent back and forth was, it was Olivia. And I can't remember what we were talking about. But basically, it was like, congrats on your failure. Most people don't even try. And having that energy for people.

32:54I love when someone tries something and it doesn't work. because I don't love that it didn't work for them, but I love that they tried it. Like that positive energy about people, like are we giving out enough compliments? Are we saying like, wow, good for her? Do you know what I'm saying? More? 100%. And my delay was because I was thinking about Travis Kalanick because he's on a big press tour right now. Okay. And I was, but more so what I was thinking about was, was how when I hear about an entrepreneur failing, like when I hear about a business failing, I'm always, my personal take today is always, of course, makes sense.

33:44They took a shot. Some businesses work, others don't. But what's really funny, that's my view now as an entrepreneur. I remember when I was a banker, how much judgment I had when businesses would fail. Like, how could that happen? So it really, like for me, where my perspective changed is like when I got in the game and I realized how close the line between success and failure can be and how many brilliant, smart entrepreneurs I've seen build massive businesses and how many brilliant, smart entrepreneurs I've seen where the current business they're working on fails. uh yes i what when that happens like all right make sense on to the next one but i think if we i think the energy we put out is the energy we receive so what i mean so to build off what you're saying is for us to say that is because we had i can't remember what we were talking about but somebody started something and then they were going to shut it down and i was like okay baller of her to even try totally and olivia was like yes it's like congrats on your failure queen like adequate like instead of being like oh i heard she had to shut it down it's like cool so cool she tried because so many people don't and it's that quote the other day that we read which was um an idiot in motion still goes faster than a genius standing still yeah and it's just and it's easy and bernie it's very bernie bernie brown but it's actually somebody else that said it but like it's easy to judge from the cheap seats can you pull jules just because i want to can can you pull Travis Kalanick's past businesses before Uber?

35:21Exactly. Please. Yeah. It's all these, it's, it's these overnight successes that aren't overnight successes. So he also had a phenomenal, uh, a phenomenal perspective that I saw today. Okay. Okay. I don't know if this is interesting or not, but it kind of goes to the guys on cheering on failure. And he said um he talked about the importance of dating an idea before you marry it love that love that i get it yeah okay and that made so much sense be like we all have all these ideas and when the idea first comes up it's always great but you really need to spend time and sit with the idea and have far more than one date with the idea before you marry it.

36:09And then ultimately when you know, you know, and you can, you can take the big bet on that. So I, I really like that, that. I would also, I think that's a great idea. I would also say though, to people, like if you're dating the idea and you can't stop thinking about it, don't be afraid of marriage. Exactly. Which I, I love. Like I just am. But also don't be afraid of dating an idea and realizing it was a bad idea or it's an idea that's not going to work. Yeah, don't be afraid to break up. Yeah. Do not be afraid to break up with the person because you think there's nobody else out there that you're going to be able to date.

36:41There's a lovely girl out there you're going to be able to date and maybe marry. Yeah. I think you should think about it that way. Because don't they say behind every, who said this, behind every overnight success was 10 years of preparing? It's the most common.

36:59it's it's one of the most yeah common experience shares that i see from successful entrepreneurs it's like i was talking to uh greg at bloom the other day about this because they launched their energy drink and it's taken off like wildfire and it's unbelievable the market share that they've gained in very short order so it's unbelievable how good that drink it tastes my favorite on the market but like what we all or i think what gets lost in the grand scheme of things is like it started 10 years ago yeah it started 10 years ago with with mari's bands and like workout bands right um but and a lot of people that's not what that's not what people are focused on that's not what they talk about and that allowed them oops to get here today totally that like the journey yeah but i go ahead and maybe doing over 500 million dollars a year in sales which is just insane that's insane and people might not know they started at workout bands right i think that started the yes but the energy yeah because it was then there was the greens powder and then there was the bloom pops and it's like all these different things but maybe people are just learning about bloom with the energy drink and they're like wow this just like blew up overnight and it's like no it didn't no it did not because anything good that's worth having is going to take hard work, but I'm very into right now.

38:20What I'm very into is I've decided, and I've always known this, but like really living it, like it's just easier. It's easier to, for people to be a hater. Like that's the lowest hanging fruit. How about like, instead of doing that, we just, we take the higher road. And I was really thinking about it when I was doing my Q &A on my Instagram the other day. And somebody was like, okay, I couldn't be a bridesmaid in my best friend's, I couldn't be in my maid of honor in my best friend's wedding because I was exclusively breastfeeding. She was upset. I was upset. And now she wants to hang out six months later.

38:54Do I hang out with her? And I was like, of course, hang out with your best friend. Like if we take that, if we take the high road here and we, we really think about this, if it's your best friend, you obviously love her. What the underlying thing here is you both want love. Okay. So you need, and you need support. She's getting married. Every bride wants to feel loved. You're exclusively breastfeeding. That's a really hard thing to do as a mom. Don't let this ruin your friendship. In fact, let this make your friendship stronger. Like just take leveling up and saying, okay, I'm just going to take the high road here.

39:24I think it's something that is an energy I'm taking into this school year. Although we don't have a child in school, but I do feel like everyone going back to school is like a time when I'm reframing. Love it. Do you agree? Yes. I felt a bit rambly there, but it's just something that I've been like loving doing. It's kind of a casual talking episode. I am so excited because I have 40 % off of Hungry Root for you guys. You've heard me talk about Hungry Root for a while now. And honestly, the reason that I keep coming back to it is because it just works. It's as simple as that, you guys. It works.

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41:08And we're traveling right now and I don't have it in my life. And that's when I'm really like, wow, I don't have to think when it comes to Hungry Root because they do the thinking for me. You guys are going to love Hungry Root as much as I do. For a limited time, get 40 % off your first order. Plus, get a free item in every box for life. Go to HungryRoot.com slash 2Parents and use code 2Parents. That's HungryRoot.com slash 2Parents code 2Parents to get 40 % off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. All right. Social media is the new smoking. Okay. Juicy headline, but let's dive into what this means.

41:46The states of California, Colorado, Kentucky, New Jersey are suing Meta for up to$1.4 trillion, claiming that they intentionally got young people hooked on Facebook and Instagram. Okay. Do you think this is true? So here's why I shared it. Okay. Because it really, you know, made me wake up and realize like the way the government is starting to go after the social media companies is very reflective of the way in which they went after the cigarette companies. And when you look at the claims, it's like the buzzwords being, you know, designed products to be overly addictive. and you know i feel like we're getting to a point where in 10 years we may be looking back at at these social media companies with the same negative perspective that we do a lot of the cigarette companies being like how were you causing this harm in people um how are you knowingly doing that and i feel like that message like it hasn't really landed and resonated with me and i feel while they're, so they're being sued for 1.6, 1.4 trillion.

43:02The judges come out and said that that number is egregious, but Facebook has already lost a lawsuit for 998 million, I believe, against 942 against Colorado. Was it New Mexico, New Mexico. So like big numbers are already being settled. And so do I think it's, do I think it's true? Absolutely. I think, I think they're causing harm. And I think that, um, they need to be accountable for mental health health. And I think they will figure it out. And I believe they'll, I believe social media, uh, at face value is amazing. I think that when you design it to be overly addictive, that's the problem. And so I hope they put the guardrails in place to make it, um, to, to make it or to find that right balance so that was really well said like i do hope like social media we're not sitting here saying social media is bad bad bad right yeah we are saying it has because i i get my news on social media i stay connected to my friends from high school on social media so i see there's pros to it but i agree this doom scrolling it's a false sense of dopamine it breeds comparison there's a lot that's bad to it but i need you to fill in this sentence for me yeah so if we know smoking causes cancer, right?

44:19Yeah. Social media causes what are you saying in your opinion? Is that depression, anxiety? Okay. And I really agree with that. And, and, and when you zero in on, on the suggestions being made, it is, it isn't in the platforms. It's, you know, end continual continuing and continuous playback, right? In, in the infinite scrolling and the end. Yes. Like create time breaks. Yeah. Don't focus on content that keeps people on the page. Focus on, you know, quality of content. So here's the things that they want to change. States want to want the court to kill the infinite scroll. Yeah. The autoplay. Yeah.

45:06Instagram stories and beauty filters nationwide. I can get behind all that. Exactly. Like we just we've over feel like we've overshot on on the addiction and and they need to be held accountable and so here's where it's the same playbook as big tobacco products are designed to hook you yeah the company knew i think that's the biggest thing the company knew what they were doing they marketed it to kids and they denied the harm publicly and they do need to be held accountable for that and and that's my big question is because like where where it gets super gray is the line between like them knowing is because on one end, you can look at the data and say, oh my God, people are spending four hours a day on our, on our, I'm sorry.

45:54You can look at the data and say, people are spending an hour a day on our app. They must love it. Right. And so you look at the, I can see how you can internalize that data and say like, oh my goodness, people are enjoying it so much. Like we created something that is bringing joy to people. And then, Hey, we put in an update. People are now spending an hour and 20 minutes a day. They now love the app even more. Right. And so I get how, like, I feel like when you start building people build with the best intention, the data was saying that people are liking it. Let's keep going. Pardon? Like the data was saying people are liking it.

46:29Let's keep going. Yes. And then they ultimately you reach a point where that line crosses and you realize this was addictive and we knew it yeah addictive because it well it's like it started here and we just kind of swung yeah totally like when mark zuckerberg was building facebook it wasn't to be addictive and let me rephrase it the big question for me is at what point does it go or did the company go from making an app that people enjoy and people love to making it as addictive as possible. And so like I think when I think about food or when I think about what happened in tobacco, like to my understanding, the tobacco situation is they learned nicotine was addictive, okay?

47:22And then they put more nicotine in products to keep people more addictive. Yes, okay. To make it more addictive, okay? Okay. So it's like in food, like we set out to make the best tasting products possible. Right. Right. Addiction has nothing to do with our process. Yes. And I think, you know, that's how all food sets out. Ideally. If a food brand then goes and says, you know what? Okay. We have a product that tastes nine out of 10. If we now add a bunch of unhealthy things and jack it up with, you know, refined sugars and sodium and the taste stays in nine, but we make people more unhealthy and, or we make the product more unhealthy and more addictive, the line is very clear.

48:11And so my question on the social media front is it seems very clear where it happened in tobacco. It seems very clear where it could happen in food and beverage. What I don't know about this industries, where does that happen? Where does it go from? We want to create this app where people share their lives and see what's going on in their friends' lives to we want to keep them on this as long as possible, despite what it means for their mental health. Yeah. When they incorporated stories and they said you can scroll from story to story to story and it will never end. It will be an endless loop.

48:49Did they know that was addictive or were they trying to connect us in a different way? I see your question. Yeah. And to me, that's like going to be the power of, um, how this all, uh, ultimately shakes out because I do believe these things were started with the best of intentions. And then does that, do they hit that inflection point where it goes from great intention to, you know, profits over everything? Absolutely. And making things addictive and knowing it was addictive. And I hope, what I hope is that they created this stuff under the context of make the app as enjoyable as possible. They overdid it and they'll fix it and write the write things.

49:31Totally. I get what you're saying. I was going to say that I don't know what year this was, but I think I was in college when Instagram switched from, I don't know if you guys remember, like from the chronological feed to some sort of algorithm based feed. And I think everyone was really upset because they weren't seeing things in the order that they were posted. But to me, that point, so some point when I was in college, so maybe 2016-ish, is when things shifted online to be less about sharing and more about some sort of algorithm. Yes, Jules, I remember that. And that's when you become like obsessed, X, Y, Z.

50:11But in their defense, right, like do they make that shift because they want to reward the best content being shared to people? Or do they make that because they know that that's going to keep people locked in the app for three to four hours a day? Right. Right. And that's the question. And at that point, though, like it wasn't about – before that, it wasn't about the best content being shared, though. It was about sharing your life and that was it. Yeah. Yeah, I get what you're saying. Okay, guys, back to school season is officially here. Even though we don't have a school-aged kid yet, I feel like the collective mom energy right now is on tin.

50:54Every mom I know is deep in it. They're getting everyone on new schedules. They're prepping lunches. They're buying supplies. I'm seeing them post like backpacks with cute balloon arrangements for the first day of school. They're signing all the kids up for sports. They're driving kids around. It's all the new schedule and the mental load in August. It is genuinely wild. And through all of it, we as parents always end up at the bottom of our own priority list. I see this time and time again with all my mom friends. So here's what I want to say. This is actually the perfect time of year to prioritize your mental health.

51:24Because if you're setting up new routines for everybody else anyways, why not build one in for you too? And that's exactly what RULA makes possible. Here's the deal with RULA. They partner with over 120 insurance plans, which means the average copay is just$15 per session. That's real therapy from licensed professionals at a price that actually works for a family budget. Because think about it, you already used insurance for your kids, pediatrician, and your own physical health. And mental health should absolutely be on that list too. And that's what I really appreciate about RULA is you're finding a therapist that's actually right for you.

52:02not the first person available not a random assignment someone who fits your specific needs and preferences plus appointments can be available as soon as tomorrow so there's no reason to put it off until end quote you know those things calm down because let's be honest they never actually do thousands of parents are already using Rula to get affordable high quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance and helping them and their families and so can you visit rula.com slash two parents to get started that's rula.com slash two parents um there's some gen z career panic because of ai and gen z is thinking ai is taking all of their jobs and so some of them are even pivoting their majors and i really understand this i do and i don't 69 fear ai will make it harder to find a job.

52:5522 % have already changed their major because of the job market. 47 % have given at least a fair amount, in quotes, of thought to switching majors because of AI. If you look at how companies largely hire, it's much more based off of problem-solving skills and broader skill sets than it is what the specialization of your degree is. And so I think that to be adjusting your career based off of a technology theme that we're really not sure how it's going to play out is probably a losing, is probably a move that will not get you ahead. because inherently you're just guessing at the future. But I think it's very good to keep the technological changes that are happening top of mind, so that way you can be adapting your general mindset and skills accordingly.

54:06Does that make sense? That's my take on this. Yeah, but like what's amazing? So who do you think is changing their major? I think like lawyers are a great example. I think like lawyers get blanketed as, oh my God, with AI, AI is just going to do all legal work. Okay. And I think that AI will drastically change the legal work done, but it will not remove all legal work. Listen, I think in terms of legal work. I think you'll probably see more law cases get filed. And so therefore you'll need to see more prosecutors as well as more defense attorneys. Yeah, I think there's a lot of like less inquiry saying, can you write me one letter because X, Y, Z happened?

54:50Like there's like my because my landlord did this. Like now you can just ask chat to write that letter. Yep. You know, so that's actually probably nice because that person was only going to be billed for 10 hours anyways. And so I bet lawyers are actually glad that busy work's done, you know, because chat chats able to take care of a lot of these things now. but it is funny because I bet like a, like a landlord, I think about a landlord tenant relationship that got into like a little legal tiff. And they're both saying my lawyer, you're saying X. my lawyer, you're saying, well, it's probably just chat talking to chat.

55:21Oh, I, I, I'm sure. Chat's probably in a lot of lawsuits with itself. Yes. Do you know what I mean? And then it's probably getting confused. You should probably give it that context. What? Like if you're in a, a small claim situation that you're handling with yourself and not, and not through a lawyer, and this is obviously not legal advice, is giving, and you think the other side is using chat, giving your chat that context of like, hey, I think the other side is using AI. And so then it will craft its response knowing that as a potential weakness. Oh, wow. That's a leg up right there. You're a good prompter, huh?

56:01Oh, as you say, A? A. Thank you. You're a good prompter, A. Yeah, point being is like, I think that, you know, changing your major because of AI fears, I would encourage people to double tap into that before just doing it because it's so unclear how this all shakes out. You would caution against that. Yeah. Okay, so we think lawyers, doctors, there's no need. If you want to change your career path or your major for other reasons, whether it's passion or – Well, of course. Then that's what I'm very encouraging. Well, and I also think graphic design. I do think little – I think AI can do a lot of logos.

56:45I do think that. But listen, doctors can't – I mean the – But if you're – Marketing in general. If you're a designer, what AI can do for you is very similar to what Adobe can do for you today. But it still can't do the creative part. It's going to be a tool that you use. So you're just going to get better at your job. Okay. That's a good devil's advocate right there. H-Town. That's what we're looking for. Like our designer has – I do so much design work on AI. But our designer has never been more busy. because of all the variations. And the brand work we're doing, we're doing more brand work today on Flock than we've done in the past three years.

57:31Interesting. That's behind the scenes. And that's because of AI. AI's helped that. AI's definitely helped that. In tandem with. It helps you go further and achieve more. Yeah. When used the right way. Yeah. Good. That's a really good use case for it. It's a positive one. Okay.

57:50All right. The last thing that we're going to do is in the comments. Turns out dog TV, it does exist. Somebody's already thought about this and that's because people love their dogs. Can we pull funding history on this company, Jules, please? It's an app with TV shows for dogs designed to reduce anxiety and enrich their lives with thousands of relaxing on-demand videos and calming music that dogs enjoy. And so Jules' first thought on this, which I think is very valid. The question is, can dogs get too much screen time? And the answer, yeah, they can. They sure can. Well, what's it called? Experts say, yes, dogs can have too much screen time.

58:24What's the app called? Oh, it's called Dog TV. Oh. DOG TV. Look at that. How about that? Jules, have you ran a case study with Ginny Bears?

58:37She's just a screen-free dog. You know what, Jules? Good for you. Jules, it's - We did the bluey the one day, and I'm already over it. You've noticed some behavioral changes since then? Yeah. Did we pull funding history on this company? I'm trying. It says Dog TV has primarily raised capital through strategic media partnerships, corporate investments, and angel investors. How much? I'm finding they've not publicly disclosed venture capital rounds. Okay, so some negative impacts of screen time for dogs. Overstimulation. An overstimulated dog seems like a bad recipe. Sleep disruption. That's sad.

59:18Confusion. and anxiety replaces real needs. And this is the sad one. Too much screen time for dogs, bonding loss. And they're saying screen, it's the same thing with kids. Screen time is fine for dogs, but it can't be in place of walks, playing and social time. The dog park, you can't replace it with the dog park. Same with humans. Should we call the neighbors and like, hey, what are you doing? What? No, why? Because we just got back in the pool. you're still thinking about that you love that they went and swam that's so cute um all right and we can wrap it up with this take it or leave it parenting advice cook with the cook and eat while they're eating that was you okay one of my take it or leave it segments yeah this is a fake Harrison's fake segment yeah an h-bomb it's it's it's pretty simple when I cook a meal with Tate, she's generally going to eat that meal versus when I'll just cook a meal and she's sitting there playing while I'm cooking, her likelihood of eating that is much lower.

1:00:29And there's kind of two parts to it. It's the same thing. If I eat the meal, the chance that she eats a two, 95%. If I cook her something and don't eat it, the chance she eats it, 50-50. So that's just been a big learning of mine is when I just kind of took a step back and looked at, hey, what times is Tate eating her full plate or what times is she not eating? The two commonalities on when she's eaten most of her plate is when she's doing the cooking prep with me, number one, or when we're eating the same thing together. Like if I sit down for steak and fries and I put steak and fries on her plate, chances are that she's going to eat her steak and fries.

1:01:12Because if I just put steak and fries down on a plate and I'm walking around on a work call, chances are she's not going to eat that. And the last thing is I think letting her pick. I think when we show her two options and she picks one and then we make it for the whole family, that's when we have the highest success rate of her eating. Totally. But last night, I don't know, three and a half pieces of pizza. She was so hungry. It was so cute. They had played so hard. Yeah. She was so hungry. It was adorable. All right, we got to wrap because we've got swim time with the cousins. So we love you guys.

1:01:44Thank you for listening. We're headed to Austin as you listen to this. And we will talk to you guys on Friday. Thank you for listening. With Jules, back in action. Thanks for listening to another episode of Two Parents. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to subscribe, like, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook at Two Parents in a Pod. Welcome to our home, sorry it's so messy. New episodes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.