We're engaged!!!

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0:45The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. Okay, ready? Mm-hmm. Set. Go. Welcome back to another episode of Two Parents in a Podcast, Engaged Edition. Here we are. Yay. How are you feeling? I feel great. I feel excited, happy. How do you feel? Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Very, very happy. What a word. And excited for the episode. Yeah? Yeah. Are we going to talk about it a bit? I think so. But should we talk about how we're also going to do a Q &A on Monday?

1:39Should we talk about that now? Sure. Okay, so we're going to talk about questions that we would just, no, not questions, but we're just going to talk about the engagement. And then you guys can ask us other questions, and we'll cover those on Monday. Alrighty. So how do you want to kick things off? okay so I made a video about the book you made me and I meant to bring the book okay I'm so sad I forgot the book you guys Harrison okay let's just start from the top here we're engaged and now I'm gonna describe how we got engaged people were like did you know and I'm like I had blue nails not only did I have blue nails I had blue grown out nails that's how you know and today I went and got them painted red for bub's birthday but also like a fresh manicure in general just makes things a lot better but that's how you know if a girl knows it's coming i think sometimes their nails are painted like what's it called bubble gum um bubble bath bubble bath see like pee right now she's got like french tips that's giving like i could be getting engaged grown out bright blue nails is giving like it's not on my radar i thought your nails look great that's so boy of you what a guy thing to think I didn't even think about that but so true I put the ring on and I was like oh my gosh like love Harrison I love the ring I have to give you just like a complete round of applause this thing is absolutely beautiful that I didn't even I did notice my nails but it covered it up as much as it possibly could well I love you I love you too that's really nice okay so what happened was we read bubs a book every night and on this particular day Harrison was like I'll pick the book and I was like okay because sometimes like I pick the book sometimes we let Bubz pick the book but you don't typically pick the book and usually it's her and I doing story time but the past three four weeks you've started coming in for story time exactly and he'll sit against her dresser and it's really cute and you were planting the seed little family affair he started saying I want to come to story time and I was like okay so the three of us would sit in her nursery and we would read a book together and it was really sweet and I it grew to be one of my favorite moments and so then last week he said okay I'm gonna pick today's book and I'm like okay so he picks the book and he brings it over to me and I'm like what wow it's called when Harry met Alex and the obvious question there is like did you know he was gonna propose I thought I thought he probably made this book but then we got a couple custom books from people like we probably got honestly four or five custom books so i thought did somebody else make this but when harry met alex and so then i thought did he make this but i didn't think you were going to propose so i start to read it and it's all of these there we have like very specific monumental photos of the two of us that i mean there's the first photo we ever took together which was in vegas which is the cover of the book and then it's our next photo was us in new york and then our next photo i can't remember the order of the photos the balloon museum balloon museum our first date yeah so first photo was the first time um first what i ever posted of us yeah and then the second one was when we were up for dinner and that was the first one i ever posted of us yeah and then the and your caption was plus one yeah and then your caption whenever we announced tate i think was plus two uh i think it was a play on that yeah something like that and then i remember your captions and morgan stewart's captions other than that i don't know anybody else's captions um okay so anyways i'm going through the book and i'm like somebody either really took the time to make this or maybe he took the time to make this and it's really nice so we keep going through it and it's like our story just it talks about like a vancouver boy and an oklahoma girl meet and they fall in love in new york and then they move to austin and on september 17th they have their baby girl tate and their world changes and it is just like the sweetest, sweetest book.

5:44So then I'm, I'm flipping through and I'm like, I think he's proposing at the end of this. But then I looked over at your pocket and I was like, but I don't. And then I saw you fidget with your pocket. So then I knew on about the second to last page, I thought, does that boy have a ring in his pocket? And then I thought this would be the perfect place. And I flipped to the last page and it says, will you marry me? Question mark. Just the beginning, Harrison, it's an 11 out of 10. The book was so cute. Turns out he had three books made because he didn't understand. They're all the same book. But he didn't understand the scale or like hardback versus paperback versus what size they were.

6:22And the one you picked is like the beautiful size and it's hard. It's a hardcover, which I love a hardcover book. And it was perfect. Thank you. It was. I don't know what my dream engagement was, but this far surpassed it. And the best part was Bubs was she was there, had no idea what was going on. Just she was over in the corner playing with her nanette. Well, I'm glad you liked it because that's the most important thing is that you liked it. And I think like I feel like our love story is so special that I wanted a proposal that reflected that. and I thought a story I thought a book that told that love story it was just so appropriate and making it a kid's book and incorporating bubs that to me is just what what felt right and I'm glad I'm glad you liked it incorporating that's all that matters incorporating bubs was really good because like she's obviously obviously it's the three of us and like that's just it's always the three of us but it was the perfect way to incorporate her because we do we read her story but if you would have done like i don't know sometimes people walk into a room and there's like rose petals everywhere she wouldn't have understood and she would have been eating the rose petals but this was like something that so naturally incorporated the bubberator and it was it was so sweet and then what else i love about it i don't know that you thought of but we really like built that nursery like right and we moved into the house we had the walls painted like everything in there is like we really did it I painted the painting above her thing and so that room is my favorite and it's the most special in the house and then to do it in there like before her first birthday it was a really really really sweet moment and then you popped on your knee I have no idea what you said something along the lines because I kind of blacked out something along the lines of like I love you and I want to spend your life with you but I can't really remember but we have it on video we do have it on video because he nonchalantly popped his phone up on her what's that the peanut changer which we don't even like but it turns out we love the peanut changer now just slid your phone up there and what wasn't the reason it wasn't a giveaway that you were filming was it was um what is this horizontal yes you were doing a horizontal filming and i'm do you want to know what i am so glad you filmed it because that is the definition of something I want on film.

8:47Well, yeah, I'm glad we got it on film. I'm glad we have the book to keep forever. We don't let Bubz play with the book because sometimes Bubz tears books. Like she tears the pages, so. And then back to the nursery. Yes, like the nurse, her room. One, it was like the house has been such a special place to us. And, you know, it's where we've been building our family. Yeah. and it felt like that was really that was the ideal place to do it and then within the house her room so I'm glad that that all landed with you so one thing that my friends have been asking me actually every single one of my friends has asked me was did he give it away did he seem nervous you did not seem nervous I had no idea it was truly another day and then even when we went in there for story time you're like i'll just pick the book and i was like okay hand it to me and then even when i was reading it and i was like going through to my head like oh my gosh like you're probably proposing with this book you were just leaning against the thing being like next page like you you did not give off nerves whatsoever so my question to you that i haven't asked you it was were you nervous i feel like the honest answer was no you didn't seem nervous and you didn't give it away it just felt the time felt so right um and natural it was a it was our natural environment it just it just it all felt so right so no i wasn't i wasn't nervous um it was funny though i did like the book was in there for a while how did you know i wouldn't find it because i put it at the back and like that was just like part of the game that i wanted to play living on the edge flying close to the sun yeah yeah A couple of people knew the book was in there.

10:36That's so funny. Yeah. How long did it take you to make the book? It took me, it took a really long time. I don't want to say the hours, but. A work day? It took a really long time because to get the images right and to get the text right and then to have all the sizing and ratios line up. But it was, it was like so fun doing it. It is so special to have that now, like forever. You're giving me so many flowers. I can read it to all of our kids. But you deserve so much more than that. That's really sweet. Thank you. As a parent, I don't need to tell you how busy you are because you already know.

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12:25And make sure to use our promo code 2Parents. Even if you aren't a parent with young kids, you might have parent friends who struggle with mealtime. Make sure to share our code so our show gets the credit. Remember, put your little ones first with healthy meals from Nurture Life. Okay, the ring. Who helped you with the ring? Your sister? It's beautiful hair, so you did a great job. You gave me good guidance. So one of his friends recently proposed. I think this was really helpful for you. When did he propose? a year ago or I mean a month ago two months ago yeah within the past two months and I was like I love that ring and what was really cool about it is it's not my friend it's Harrison it's one of your best friends now fiance and so it was just a guy that you could text and if it would have been one of my friends it would have been a lot harder for you to be like well what does the ring look like so but I had shown you like you had been asking me what's your general style of ring you like and I had shown you but it wasn't a lot because girls want to know this stuff I I didn't give him like one photo and then he went and like replicated it by any means.

13:24When he opened the box, I was just as curious as you all were. Like I was like, what's it going to be? And it was it's so it's a radiant is what it's called. And I like radiance and I like emeralds and the radiant. My friends were over last night and I think it was Jade who was like it dances. It sparkles. And I love that. Like I love a date. I love the way it's a spunky ring. So a couple of comments on this. first is I just like like the radiant way more than the emerald I love that actually what I'd like to say before that is I collected a good amount of inspiration from passive comments from like things that you either pointed out or whatever along the way so I felt like I had a good I had a good guidebook but I also had some flexibility and I it felt like you didn't have a preference between emerald and radiant and I liked radiant more than emerald I liked them both equally and I did want you to pick I wanted you to have some like and then I wanted to be you the other thing is like where I'm like because so most of my friends are engaged or married like you know you had the couple calls to make and get the guidance on how to do it oh you you call and navigate the process um so yeah versus like one of my friends who was who was helpful throughout the like he was one of the first people that got engaged and so he like had to go through a lot of the process blind oh what's it like when a guy calls a guy to talk about wedding rings hey man i need some help um just dudes discussing diamonds i don't know i have a couple friends that we have that type of relationship and yeah oh that's really sweet Okay, so Ring, you got, this is a funny story.

15:15So like three or four weeks ago, we had a FedEx debacle because we were in Vancouver. And we were gone for like an extended amount of time. And we get back and Harrison becomes obsessed with talking, like making contact with the FedEx guy. So he writes on the door, call me, and he writes down his phone number. And he just sticks it on the door. and then the guy go we miss him again and then the next day Harrison just he keeps the first one up there that says call me with his phone number and he just attaches another piece of paper below it that says call me and it says his phone number again and it's just like a duplicatory piece of paper and then I'm getting my hair done and Harrison texts me and he's like I need you to stalk the ring camera and let me know when the FedEx guy comes and I was thinking this would be a moment that could tip me off that there was a special delivery coming but you're the last person that I thought would like have a ring delivered.

16:09Turns out he got the diamond in New York and it was being delivered. So he really needed to get this package. But I thought that you, because you're so like obsessed with keeping your personal belongings like near you, I didn't ever think you would have the diamond mailed. So that didn't tip me off at all. Looking back on it now, when you told me that that's what you were waiting on, it makes total sense. Who knows if that's what I was actually even waiting on. You were waiting on that. Who knows? Oh, okay. So now you're going to be coy about it. Yes. Okay. Other things to talk about. Our, let's see.

16:38Plans, what happened after the engagement? After the engagement, we FaceTime family. Our families are so excited, but I do tell them all because they're asking about timelines, right? And I'm like, we need, like I have no idea. Oh, in terms of wedding? Yeah, wedding celebration, X, Y, Z. But you know what? We'll talk about this on Monday's episode. We'll save it. Are we going to save the wedding stuff? Yeah, let's save our wedding thoughts. Because I need some more time to gather them. Okay. But I will give you a full breakdown of what I am thinking IRL. family super excited then we go to Lake Austin Spa before that before that what's before that where'd we go Sammy's yeah Sammy's Italian restaurant where we went okay we've been to Sammy's now twice where we went the night before I was induced and sat and ate all the pasta and then this night that we got engaged Harrison and I we went to Sammy's and it was absolutely lovely I love that place it's our special place now I never want to go on a random Tuesday I only want to go for special occasions yeah I love I love like one of the special things about like really building roots in Austin is like finding those places and like so for in Vancouver it was always uh Giardino and now here like it being Sam is and starting that tradition I really like so I'm glad that we went there after and that's really what you wanted to do oh my gosh I was just gonna say something when you asked where else you went I thought you went to some stores oh we did okay this is great but that was after the fact it was that was after the fact that was after we went to lake austin spa no it wasn't it was right after you proposed oh i know what jules is getting at okay so we get engaged and then we went because we had like 30 minutes and we were just like excited and so we go to some stores um up and down like South Congress that were still open.

18:35We probably went in four or five, six stores. And the next day I'm scrolling TikTok and I get this video of a girl. She's like an influencer in Austin, came in today with a rock on her hand. She hasn't told the world she's engaged yet. I hold the power. And I'm like, there's no way that's me. And then I'm like, no, I went into so many stores today. I just was bebopping around because I just had like something fun to do. And then I start looking at her stuff and i wonder if she works because she did a video one day of like her outfit of the day and then she was doing her jewelry and like two or three pieces were at from let's not say where she works oh probably not she does keep it clean okay bleep it perfect yeah i i thought because i just i don't want to figure out where she works yeah i mean i don't i don't know for sure where she works but i was just trying to guess because then i was like is it me or is like somebody else engaged but like the timing of it just happened to work out perfectly but where I loved this girl was she didn't say my name she didn't say whoever's name it was which sometimes when you make content the risk of it can be because I wanted to wear my engagement ring out and about you know like I just wanted to like enjoy this really special moment but I didn't want to tell the internet yet because I'm like we can tell them when we want to and so we we did we just like enjoyed it as a family for a bit and I was like this girl did me such a solid because she could have gone on there and said it was me you know like anybody can do that and she didn't and And so I commented, I said, my girl's girl.

20:01Yeah. And thank you to her because, yeah, we wanted to enjoy the moment to ourselves and in real life and with our friends and family before. We wanted our three, four days of just like magic. Yeah. And so I do actually appreciate that because, you know, I really, I really like, yeah, I just, I found that I really enjoyed those, those couple of days. I thought it was fun that she made the video though. I loved, I thought the video was hilarious. And I'm sure she was like, wait, okay, so they're obviously engaged, but okay, they haven't posted it. And I just think that's really funny. Yeah. Lately, we've been reaching for the same thing for lunch and dinner, you guys, and it's Goodles.

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21:54And don't forget the new single-serve cups. So then we go to Lake Austin Spa, which is a place we've been wanting to go.

22:02And just like the best place I've ever been. I don't know if I keep saying everything's the best in this episode, but my expectations for a spa 30 minutes away from us. You guys know I love Canyon Ranch. um if you don't know i love canyon ranch i'm obsessed with canyon ranch in tucson where you go and it's like a health and wellness retreat but also i'm just i cannot get over this concept of your food being included and then you don't have to sign a tab so you just you go you sit down and you order let's say the blueberry pancakes they come you eat them you just get up and leave and that's how lake awesome spa is it was relaxing it was romantic it was romantic It was beautiful.

22:42That setting was amazing. It's set on the lake. They only have like 40 to 50 guests. The food is truly the best part is the food. And yeah, it's just so tranquil. Like it's so hard to believe it's only a 30-minute drive away from here. It feels like five hours. Yeah, you feel like you're just completely off the grid. We went there Thursday morning, came back Friday around 4. really felt like i mean we were there one night but i felt like we were there three days um i got a facial you got a massage we ate all the meals that are all included it's just home just relaxed we took a salsa class because they have these cooking classes you went on a boat ride yeah we salsa dance or salsa salsa i i wish we didn't clarify that and and and had the listener think we did salsa dance classes i thought you did salsa dance would you ever do a dance class like a salsa dance class i my mother and i have done a dance class in new york oh wow it was so fun it was so much fun i think she enjoyed it more than me but i really did enjoy it are you a good dancer no are you i love how it's like i'm glad we're engaged and we don't know if each other are good dancers do you be a good dancer is not a deal breaker for me i've got to buy i so let me I can feel the music, I'll say that.

24:02I can feel the music. It's funny because you... I feel a beat. You make us have dance parties all the time. He will put on music and he'll make me stand up and me and him and Bubs will dance. Can I just play my favorite song really, really fast? Well, I think YouTube will flag it. Yeah, no. Oh, really? You can just say it. Even if I do it for under five seconds? Yeah. Is it Alex Warren? No. It's Hola, hola, como estas? Hola, hola, hola, como esta? Maria plays it every morning and when she gets sad I sing it to her and then she gets better our Bubba Raider is one years old when this comes out truly unbelievable I have quite the craving for chips and salsa now I tell you what I think that's going to be in our near future okay what else on the engagement or is that you know what ladies and gentlemen let's leave it there we'll talk about the word fiance and then we'll leave it there because you guys can ask your questions and then we'll talk about it on Monday we'll do a little engagement Q &A um but the word fiance so we ran into our neighbor this morning she's not on Instagram but her daughters are and I just I love this woman so much she's like congratulations fiances and we were like we don't like the word fiance so much but she and my friend Emma said the same thing which is like you don't get to be fiances for very long in life but i tell you what i have just skipped right to husband i emailed that as if my husband will answer yeah i don't i don't want to wait till we're married i like i do love the perspective that emma gave on like you know really appreciating the um the time the time but we're also you know we're not doing things in the traditional order here no like so what we're saying is the word fiance i don't know why i it's not that i don't like the word fiance because i do think if you're engaged it is sweet to have this period of calling each other fiance right but we just decided skip right to we just now say husband and wife am i gonna get you a gold ring a black ring or a silver ring oh interesting i think alex cost us the rubber rings okay what are those called what are those called i don't know i kind of think they're off amazon i'm like i'm i'm all But no, a guy made them.

26:19They were 25 bucks, I remember. I used to go to the gym and they became the most popular thing ever. That was a genius idea, by the way. Yeah. They have a name. Safe rings? Am I allowed to do a rubber ring like that? Totally. Well, that's not like your main ring, though. So I have a ring for nice occasions. Yeah. And then a day-to-dayer. Yeah. I saw a TikTok where someone asked if their wedding band could be an aura ring. Ooh, pass. Hard pass. Yeah, I don't think that's allowed. It's a hard pass. Me too. It's awful. I'm sure the rubber ring will probably get roasted, but I like, I don't know. No, it's like for the gym.

26:55Yeah, I think do your day use. But in your jewelry box that you don't really have, but if you had one, you would have your real ring. Like when you go to a wedding, right, or we have a black tie of it, then you put on your proper ring, which I'll probably have. I'm just going to give it away here. Gold. Because you have gold. And it's going to be engraved. I think it needs to, I think it should match. Tate, Alex, Harrison. And then anytime we have a new kid, do we get it engraved too? It's so tough. I would love that. All the initials. Okay, maybe we'll just do initials. I've never understood.

27:27I mean, it's just truly got to be an artwork to engrave the inside of a ring. I mean, have you ever thought about that? I have not. How do they get in there and etch it so perfectly? No, I haven't thought about that. It's crazy work. Okay, let's move on to things we named each other. Like this is just going to be the hardest 180 of our lives. Things we DMed coming up. Transition. It's just such an abrupt transition. Engagement too. Funny. Okay. This has to do with husband and wife. Okay. Very nice. So a bit applicable perhaps. All right. Scientists have found that women experience the highest levels of stress when their husbands are laying on the couch doing nothing.

28:11Initial thoughts. I would love you to react to this first. Makes total sense to me. makes complete and total sense to me. I did not know it, but then I think about it, and I do agree. I think Alex sent this one, and I was doing the research. I don't think this particular scientist says is backed by science, but there was some studies that were close to it. I think this was more of a meme. Okay, so this is a bit satirical for Instagram, But there is research supporting the broader idea, which is this unequal division of housework, lack of help or mismatches and expectations around chores are strongly linked to stress, marital dissatisfaction and worse health outcomes.

28:57I do see that. I think of the bulk of the housework falls on one person and they feel the stress. They can resent the other person. And it's a recipe for disaster. I get it. Like, I really get it. Like the time to sit and on your couch and veg out, like when you have a family and you have kids, that time has sailed. And like, you know, thankful for college where and the single days where I had a lot of time to do that. But like, yeah, I get it. I get why a woman would find that stressful and unattractive. and like it's it's time to like this is it's time to step it up you know what i was thinking about are gone are the days where you get to rot you know how you have a rot day like sunday you just like lay in bed and they call it rot all day are you familiar with the term yeah well you once yes when you have a kid like you you can't rot you you very very small rotting moments none i mean And they are wide-eyed at 6.30 a.m.

30:05Every day ready to play, play, play. Yeah. I'm thinking of the video that you tried to rot with Tate. It was unsuccessful. That was like when she first got mobile. Yeah. Yes. I was trying to do a rotting day with Bubber in bed and she wanted to crawl all over. Fall is planting season. Did you know that many plants and trees actually do better when planted this time of year? But you have to know where to start. And that's why I love fastgrowingtrees.com. It doesn't matter if you live in the sunny south or if it's getting chilly where you are. Their plant experts can help you find the perfect fit for your space.

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31:16So this fall, they have the best deals for you and your yard. Up to half off on select plants and other deals. And listeners of our show get 15 % off their first purchase when using code 2PARENTSATCHECKOUT. That's 15 % off at fastgrowingtrees.com using code 2PARENTS at checkout. Now's the perfect time to plant. Use 2PARENTS today to save. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Check out the link below or in the show notes to support the show. When I'm not productive and I'm sitting on the couch, I don't feel good about myself. And so I get why that would drive stress to your partner.

31:57like especially with the family mindset the the time for that to me has has sailed and it's time to to act and to do and to take care yeah does that land it does it does land and I think I just think the older you get and and having a family involved like there's more to take care than just yourself. Totally. And so it is a bit of a different mentality. Like I'm just going to lay here all day. It's like, you don't really get to, there is a time and a place that like I do love when you say on Saturday, I'm watching football all day, but you're not really laying around watching it. You're going out and doing it and bopping around.

32:39And it's a social activity as opposed to a lazy activity. So I like when you're filling your social cup. Yeah. And it's, you are, um, you are defined by the hours there. Okay. There was a study at USC that tracked 30 full-time working couples with at least one child measuring their daily activities and cortisol over several days. Okay. The key finding wives stress recovery as measured by the drop in cortisol after work was better when husbands did more housework. Conversely, when husbands had more leisure and wives had less wives had worse stress profiles so that that makes complete sense when the husbands are helping more then their cortisol doesn't spike as high for sure but where it does get tricky is like the importance of recharging like we can't you can't be on all the time and so i don't think we're saying go go go go go but it's just it's it's the veg out yeah i don't think okay so i think the extremist side of this is never veg yeah you need to relax like we need when take us to bed at 7 30 like we need to have our nights where we get in bed just watch shows oh yeah that's very different to me than like a full-blown lazy weekend where like things aren't getting done because do you know what i found with these lazy weekends sometimes those are harder on me they're no longer that relaxing up and out of the house but relaxing to me is you know because then the dishes are piling up and like things just they all get they get what's the word piled up left behind i don't know things go awry does that make sense they build up okay the second things we dm'd okay i love this one actually okay so a parenting pro tip it's kind of like things we learned make a habit to let your kids enter your phone number at a store like when you're entering your phone number at target circle rewards so they'll always remember it.

34:29What a good idea. Great idea. Definitely want to subscribe to that. Because having these contacts in your phone, we don't remember numbers and having numbers are good for emergencies. Like I used to remember my mom's number, my best friend's number, because on a home phone you have to type it in. But now I just scroll contact. I have a confession to make actually on the FedEx thing. You know how you wrote the FedEx number on the door the very first time i walked up to it i thought fedex wanted for us to call him so i typed in your phone number and it said harrison and i thought oh my god i was gonna ask if you knew his phone number no that is six four six yeah three no don't worry i don't know yours do you know my area code 405 what do you think the next number is 397 nope is that yours uh no i'm oh yeah okay believe that no why because then people can get close i mean i think we can get we can if people want to try and figure out the i'm just trying to think of no we're just gonna believe it okay better safe than sorry um okay another one that i was told about that i think is great uh on the topic of story time and obviously this is when she gets a little older but when um when you read your kid a book before bed you ask them to recite a story from the day oh yeah that's really cute so you tell them a story then they it's a story time recall then they tell you one oh yeah or they tell you one first um exactly i thought i found another good one oh jules in the clouds having your kids calculate like the tip at the restaurant that they learn math they learn conscientiousness like maybe 25 okay i like it i mean the kid will be better at it than me so but i i hate tip calculation oh my dad always had me do this so i one thing i always know is 20 i always say changing a kid under one is like changing a cat it takes so much time but luckily we have found a way to save you time say Say goodbye to the buttons.

36:37Goodbye to the zippers. And hello to Magnetic Me, you guys. Magnetic Me has saved me so much time because the magnets are so quick. And it's made changing time easier. And you have more time to spend doing the things you love. I seriously love Magnetic Me's clothing because they have the easy-to-use magnetic closures. And changing time has never been so quick. Plus, the patterns are so cute and the fabric is so soft. And don't forget, they make pajamas for moms too. if you are breastfeeding I cannot cannot cannot recommend their adult pajamas enough you guys there's no zippers no buttons and even with the fussiest baby I can get them dressed in no time with magnetic me so if you haven't ordered magnetic me yet now's the time I know you'll love it too if you're a parent or shopping for one go to magneticme.com and new customers will get 15 % off don't wait that's magneticme.com plus they make a great gift okay I have a great question what a great question should should tip be done pre-tax or after tax i think it's i have no idea whatever how do they hand you the restaurant bill it's supposed to be done pre-tax like i don't know so i think just take the number and double yes but i i no no but let's say you get um let's say you get a bill and the bill is a hundred dollars before tax and then with tax let's say it's$110.

38:04Are you calculating 20 % on$110? Are you calculating the 20 % on$100? Because I think you're supposed to do it on$100, but I feel like I've defaulted to the 110 because I don't want to be perceived as ever under tipping. I have no idea. I need to defer to a friend here. What do you do? I just tip on the number, the final number. The bottom number. Okay, so you do after tax. But like I think in theory you're supposed to do it on the Yeah Okay so we're all tipping 22 % Which is nice Yeah Sorry Well I was just going to say I have no idea But I did know this Okay so if your total is$100 And you tip$50 let's say So your total is$150 But you accidentally write down$140 Do you know what happens?

38:59I have no idea what happens I asked my friend one time who was a waitress and she said it's your total number that matters. So if you put your tips 50, but when you total it up, you put your tip down to 40, it doesn't matter. It's what you actually. Interesting. Which I always thought that's the number to get right. My biggest gripe with tipping culture is the lack of variance in tipping. Like I think that too often we like the base rate of tipping I feel like is down the middle at 20%. And I feel like we should be able to flex much higher and flex much lower. like i don't think but you can but it's not it's just not done it's just not done oh you wish we normalized it more like instead of just around the holidays tipping more you just kind of did it whenever like if someone goes above and beyond then you they may get a 40 to 50 percent you're great at that versus some but versus someone you know really just like is mia you go under that you really go under the 20 i think you're really good at it no i never like I don't know.

40:00I don't think I don't know the last time I ever went. I went under 20. Well, I remember that the other day we were sitting at the bar at Upper Crest Pizza. And the guy was where he had just graduated school and he was bartending because he was trying to buy an engagement ring. And I remember somebody sat down some cash for him. Did it pull a heartstring for you? Did it hit home? It did because I had the ring at that moment. On you? uh i actually may have harris has been carrying it around in his pocket but let's not give i don't yeah i don't want to say like what we won't say what you gave him but i thought it was really nice and then i was like okay but that didn't tip me off at all except for now this very moment that i'm thinking about it i thought wow he must have been like shared experiences you thought man me too okay um oh one more that wasn't a side to move on by the way.

40:55No, I know, I know, I know. But one, the one more thing that I also saw, grocery store scavenger hunt, give kids many missions, i.e. find something green that is less than$2 at the store so they can practice observation and independence. I love this. Except a big fear of mine is the Whole Foods here in Austin has no service. Well, our kids wouldn't have a phone anyways. I just don't want to lose a child. I think that losing a child in a grocery store feels very, very easy. I agree. But didn't you guys get lost in a grocery store? Totally. And there's all the mini shopping carts. The Whole Foods, the challenge here, we shop at three places on the regular.

41:34H-E-B, love it. Best. Massive. Yeah. That H-E-B that we go to is so big. Whole Foods that we shop at, amazing Whole Foods. Also a massive store. No reception. quarters the only one that i think we could let them do this at is that local grocery store i think it's called fresh grocer because that one only has like eight rows and maybe we say maybe we say you lose the game if you get out of my eyesight well i think you do want to encourage exploration the problem is like at at the other two like i mean i lose you in those no they're such i haven't been yeah losing you in whole foods with no service is unbelievable because we can't call like you can't call each other it's truly terrible well i'm on the wi-fi uh whole foods yeah they got a great wi-fi can you give me the password next time we're there it's open well it should be dialed it's dialed it's the headquarters it's the guy that started whole foods lives five blocks from us that should be the number one whole foods they're they're literal hqs attached our i don't know if i'm allowed to say this but our studio is technically in the whole foods building you're allowed to say that why not oh yeah they're our landlords yeah it's kind of cool all right bicker of the week we're going to toothbrushes i would like to find a different picker okay actually i just saw one that someone wrote in and i think maybe i know your answers but this was from rebecca on youtube she says idea for Baker of the Week, do you wash clothes before you wear them, after you buy them, or not?

43:11I'm sure everyone has different opinions on this. We do. I'm sure you do. This is absurd. This is a good one. This is absurd. I think clothes have to be washed when they're purchased before you wear them. Have to be. I think about pants. Ridiculous. If somebody tried on these pants, I have to wash them. Ridiculous. It loses the crispness. it is it is a crazy like your first wear of a shirt your first wear pants there's nothing better there's nothing better like when i put on a fresh white tea what if five other people have ordered that fresh white tea tried it on sweating it and then thought i'm gonna return it and then you're wearing it well i just one i don't think that happens and two you like see you see you can see the christmas you can't see the sweat who's just like going around like sweating in clothes people like the air conditioning in austin is like it's a great air-conditioned city no if you walk around outside like you never know what if somebody was like wore it sweat no i'm i am so team like so team you buy it new and you wear it new.