Carlton Cole | Frank The Tank

29:04When I look back now, that part of my career, it's kind of surreal, you know, but that's what made me. That's what I've seen and I appreciate it. I appreciate it lots. How often were you going out when you said too much? Mate, do you know what it is? So when I got injured, that's when I started going out. Instead of staying at home and getting fit. And to be honest, my injury that I had, I had something on my abductor. Mate, it was so painful. so I think I was going out just to to get him into the pain because I was yeah because I had to nullify that pain it was so hard man and I couldn't play as well and you're in London as well do you know what I always say I always say to players if you're from up north or from anywhere around the world and you come to play in London it's the hardest place to play because there's so much distractions everything's open 24 hours clubs are there especially back then it was like you was like a rock star being a footballer you know it was so hard we've heard this I remember Pennant going on about on about this nightlife and every week we'd go out we'd all meet in Frankie and Benny's yeah no no TJ Fridays TJ Highs sorry TJ Fridays see how was it two for one cocktails yeah yeah so there's the drink that everyone used to get was Junebug yeah so it's this big green fucking big jar of whatever was in it I don't even know what was in it And then we'd have that as a sit-down first and we'd just get to know each other.

30:33Everyone's, how'd your game go? So it was different people from different clubs in London. Sometimes players from up north would come down and then we'd all meet there. And then we'd go out to another place called Red Cube, which is just a walk away around the corner, then from there, nightclub. So all the lads were always together from different clubs. It's a weird place that you don't associate these Premier League footballers meeting. TGI Friday. Everybody likes Jack Daniels sauce, right, don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. it was definitely a time to be alive. Trust me. When you, when you look back, I still got friends from that lot, that lot today, like Pennant.

31:14You got loads of people like Kieran Dyer, everyone was out, Ashley Cole, Joe Cole, everyone, Mickey Carrick, who'd come down sometimes. It was, and you wouldn't even see some of these guys until you see them on a Saturday, like, sometimes. So if you wanted to see someone, you'd go down to TJ Friday and see. It just reminds me of like going to local, like, you know, just bobbing down. I'll go down to TGI series. See a few other lads. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, even Rio, John Terry, everyone went there. It was a place to meet up sometimes. I think I'd have still showed Nick a bird, me. What, TGI's?

31:50Yeah, too much. But TGI, but it wasn't that kind of atmosphere. birds would meet you there and then you'd kick on but like you wouldn't you wouldn't want to you wouldn't you wouldn't want to yeah you don't want to bring sand to the beach you know what I mean so that's so you know what I mean so but some guys they got the confidence you know what I mean back in the day we hit Charlton when Scotty Parker was trying to yeah so that I saw that fiasco because I was part of it yeah I thought it would be So I was, so that deal actually, I think it was January, it was a January move, wasn't it? And I remember we played up until January, we played together for at least four months, I think.

32:37And then he was off. But I remember when he was coming out one time and he already said that he wants to leave. Alan's already said no. And I remember him coming out one day in training and he just literally just started walking on the pitch because he got forced to come out. He just started walking. And I was like, what's going on here? I still hadn't clocked what was going on. But it was obviously on Sky Sports News and everything that he was imminently going to move. And then I was, so I was like, what's going on? Why is he just walking around? He's taking a piss. And then Alan just said, Alan Curbson says, just fuck off in with you.

33:19So he just walked, he just trotted off and went in. And then I think by the end of the day, he was off. He went to Chelsea. Yeah. Got to do what you've got to do, haven't you? Exactly, mate. You're a big advocate of that, aren't you, John? Yeah. But the worst thing about it, like for me, Scott, he's a model pro. So you wouldn't expect that type of behavior. So he was already done with the club. He wanted to leave. Done with clubs, obviously. And yeah, it was weird seeing that side of him. I've never seen it since because I played with him, obviously, at West Ham later on. He probably never had to do it since.

33:53No. I've said, because we've had Kerbishly on. Yeah. And I wonder how he'd deal with it. Now he's a manager. Yeah. If one of his players did exactly the same. Because he'd be thinking he'll understand where he's coming from, sure, will he? Yeah. If he's done that. You've got to understand, look, Scotty's a nice person, first and foremost. And you've got to really, really piss Scotty off for him to react like that. Do you know what I mean? So when I saw it, I just thought, oh, he's obviously not happy about something and this is not going to work. So then when he got sent in, everyone was obviously, what the fuck?

34:27Did you see that? Side note, do you think he's the best dress manager? Oh, yeah. He's up there, isn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does he wear? He wears them with the, I don't know what make it is, but it's the three stripes on his arm. The jackets and that. Yeah. I think you've got one. Have I? if I am I don't know it looks expensive yeah yeah but he's he's actually the first guy first player to show me a little bit of fashion and he showed me about the Landvins remember Landvins no oh yeah see Landvins Landvins Landvins Landvins I don't think they've ever gotten off nah you don't have the shoes like shoes like no it's just trainers you can have like Cardi's and all that so Scotty's always into his fashion high end fashion that is it's too high for us I think too crazy I never forced to move through to Chelsea that's what you get that's what I'm saying that's what you get in London mate like everything's just like the latest thing keeps you on your toes mate your money that you earn could go fast definitely like pull a bird in TGI Fridays with my Primark shirt on will I what do you mean a bit of BBQ sauce darling around the chops Nothing wrong with Prime Marnie, mate.

35:47I'll tell you that. Prime Marnie. I was going to say on the money thing, did you sign the six-year contract at Chelsea before you went to Charlton? Yeah, yeah. So you're in a good place, really. And you must think, again, that the club wants you to give you a six-year contract, you know, future plans. Yeah, look, for me, it was, yeah, I always felt that I'd make it at Chelsea. That was my thing. I've always thought I was going to make it there. and when that kind of started to dwindle, because I came back. So obviously after Charlton, I went to Asin Villa and I should have stayed at Charlton another year because, and this is when I didn't understand that I was part of the deal.

36:29So I found out I was part of the deal through my agent at the end of it, which I didn't know this was going down. They were probably thinking that I was going to commit to it. So I was supposed to spend two years at Charlton. so Curbs phones me and says to me Coley when you're coming back you're coming back in I was like no I'm doing something with David O 'Leary I've really committed to David O 'Leary I remember being in my garden and then he's saying you've got to come back in I was like and on top of that I wanted to leave there because things that was going on off the pitch with me as well I just wanted to get out of London you know so that's why I ended up staying going up to Aston Villa which was more of an emotional move more than anything, which didn't work out the way it should have for me.

37:16So was it the, you know, you said you're going out and stuff? Yeah, it was all of that stuff. Did you get to that point where you're like, I need to get out of London? Yeah, I need to get out of London. Change of scenery? Change of scenery. That's what was going on. So I just needed to get out. And then David O 'Leary said, come up. So I went up there and I thought I was going to enjoy my time up there, but still wasn't, running away from your problems is never the right thing. Sometimes you have to face it up and then deal with them out of there. A quick break, gents, from one of our favourites.

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39:05Just bounce your location over to Dominican. I can watch anything I want, Chris, from around the world because I've got NordVPN. Sports series. Millionaire. Cut the tosh, lads. What is the script? Do we have an offer? Of course we've got an offer because, as under the cosh listeners, you've just got to follow the link in the description and you get a heavy, heavy discount and, get this, a 30-day money-back guarantee. So if you don't like it, get your money back. That's why they're the goats for me. Is Jose in charge? yeah so when I went out on the first loan I went to Charlton the second so remember Jose they finished second in the Premier League Chelsea the year before when I was involved with the squad we finished fourth so we got into the Champions League so after the Champions after that season then I went on loan so I thought I'd done really well because I was a big part of that then Ranieri obviously had a he had to make things happen so that's when Kesman and all them boys come in Mootoo Kesman liked a night out as well didn't it Mootoo does Mootoo that was it yeah Mootoo that was it so what I was doing wasn't that bad you know what I mean when you look at the grand scheme of things like fucking Ozzy Osbourne yeah mate he's a proper rock and roll star I was I was I was very very mild towards that but at that look back then they just put you on loan sink or swim so I didn't know what I was actually doing so I was going there I didn't have a plan, nothing.

40:36No one come to watch me. No one had talked to me from the club. So I was feeling isolated. And as a young lad, you need an arm around you, didn't you? Just to show you the direction. Guidance. I didn't have that. So that's why I do the loads managing now, because I know that's what some of the lads need. And that's what you need. Some players, you could just leave them and let them go on and crack on. And they don't need nothing from the club. But for me, I needed that extra help. So that's why I took this role at West Ham because I knew that was... I know the feeling, you know. It's the basic stuff.

41:05Young footballer moving to a different city on their own. It's hard, mate. It's hard. So anyway, going back to that loan. So the second loan, Mourinho had come in. So he says, oh, what do you want to do? And I told him I still want to play. He says, well, I haven't got no space for you here. So basically, you're going to have to do one again. so I was like again and I thought I'd done well over pre-season as well I think we went to America and we'd done really well and then obviously Drogba comes in then Crespo comes in so I'm thinking oh my god I'm not going to play here so obviously I've got to go out and well spread my wings again but still a great loan move though isn't it Villa yeah it's not like you go into with all due respect Reading no no no it's a fucking incredible loan move No, definitely.

42:02I understand that. At the same time, I wasn't in the right headspace for it. And I started off well, mind you. I think I scored on my debut. And I met some great, great boys up there, man. J Lloyd Samuel, Lee Hendry, Darius Vassell. So there's some great lads. Olof Melberg, remember him? Yeah, the big Swedish runner-up. He's so funny, man. Great guy. Delaney. So yeah, we had some girls. Nobby Solano. Oh, he had his trumpet out. Yeah, he loves a trumpet. But yeah, we had the... Yeah, he was unbelievable, man. It was a good time up there. But just the footballing part, I didn't really get going because I got injured again.

42:52I remember I'd done my knee up there, actually. And then I couldn't get back fit. It was just... I'm not making excuses. I weren't in the right headspace, but I didn't make my life easier as well. But I did get injured at the same time and that's when I go out again. Yeah. Back to it. So what was the conversation like with Jose when you came back from Villa? Because 13 games the next season with Chelsea. Back in and around. So when I got back, I got, yeah, was it 13 games? That's what I've got here. I didn't get enough league games to get a medal. Nine, nine in the league. Nine in the league, 13 with a cup.

43:30Yeah, so see, there you go. Is it 10? Is it 10 to get a medal? Yeah, back then it was. Oh, man. It's a sting of that, isn't it? Were you... But do you know what happened? It's disgraceful. But then I look back and I think, yeah, I didn't deserve it anyway. You were supposed to play it last game, but you were late. We won the league three games to go. Oh. We'd won three games. But again, I'm back in London doing all the things off the pitch that I'm not supposed to do. Didn't really... Because I wasn't playing regularly, you just get, you don't really, well for me, I was weak minded and I didn't stay strong and I started going out again with the lads as well.

44:08And I shouldn't really be going out with the lads that are playing. I should be saying, nah, I'm not going. Do you know what I mean? And I ended up going out with the boys, celebrating whenever we had a win or whatever. But things had changed though. The mentality had changed over there as well. so he got me to nine games yeah three games to go and I didn't come on I was just on the bench so I think that was it but he he I remember being up at Newcastle and he'd already won the league obviously and then I was thinking I've got to get on there with like two I think it was two nil up or three nil up have you had run-ins at this point like is it is there personal friction we had a bit of look he I remember one meeting we've had I can't remember what game it was but we're playing against a red team up north.

44:56I thought it was Liverpool, but I got corrected. I think it was someone else, but I think we'd won 2 or 3-0. No, we'd lost 2 or 3-0 that game. And I wasn't even in the squad, so I come back down. They come back down. We are training the next day because I think we had a Champions League game. And I just remember being in a meeting, so we're all up in a meeting. I always sit to the left top so I can see my Kalei. I can see everyone down on my right. But Mourinho's there. He's having his talk and he's battering the players. Then he just turns to me. And then I just got a grilling. And I was looking, I was thinking, wow, this is a bit personal.

45:39You know what I mean? I wasn't even there. I wasn't even at the game. What's he saying? Like, what's he saying? He just said, listen, you carry on like this. you won't even get a job in Tesco's. Like your application, you're just, he just grilled me. But I just remember being so angry and heated. I was like, why are you taking this out of me? But I didn't see the bigger picture because he's basically saying to me that I've got a great opportunity and I'm not taking it. So that's hindsight. By the time, I just got angry. I went out on the pitch. I went out on the, no, I didn't go out. I went out on the pitch and I remember having a wicked training session, probably the best training session I've had in a long date, a long time.

46:27But that was because I was angry. And when I'm, you don't want an angry Colton. I mean, I could be world class. You know what I mean? Just to phone that out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, when I'm, and that's the thing, when I'm upset and I'm angry, that's when I played my best football. You know what I mean? Because I was a beast. and yeah, I think he recognised that. So when I did, and then after that training session, he goes, comes up to me and goes, see, see, this is what I expect from you every training session. You haven't got that fire in you all the time. So I thought, this guy's playing games in my head.

47:04Do you know what I mean? But that's what it is. That's how football goes. So do you think he'd never put you on in them last three games as a punishment? Yeah, defo. That's just, there was no need to do that. See, I'm getting the card off the fucking thingy the fourth official. Do it yourself. Call, Drogba, yeah, sound. Put your fucking board up. Yeah, ASAP. Yeah, so yeah, I got to, yeah, nine games in the league and then you needed ten so obviously you didn't want me to have the medal. Then I see him throwing the medal into his own medal into the crowd on the last day. Imagine that. It grinded on me that.

47:37I was right behind them as well. I said, you can give me that, you know. That's how it goes. Did you leave that summer? Yeah, I left that summer. Because I was going to say, is it like a man management kind of masterstroke where he's trying to really piss you off for next season? Until I really proved me wrong. So basically that summer, I'd done a medical at Spurs. Yeah, so I'd done my medical, done everything. Then Spurs went back to West Ham and Bromovic wasn't aware of me moving to Spurs. Then he called me and he said, nah, you're not going to, I don't do business with Spurs. And this is what it was at the time.

48:14not knowing that he was going to buy Spurs before. So he was in a helicopter and he saw Spurs. He says, I want that team there, that club. And then I think something happened with the deal. Goalpost got moved or whatever. And then he said, nah, fuck them off. And then he went to Chelsea. And we needed it as well, to be honest. We needed it because we were financially going through it. So we needed to qualify for Champions League that year before. and I don't think he would have bought it if we weren't in the Champions League, to be honest. That's a different level of window shopping, isn't it?

48:51Who's the helicopter? That one. But anyway, I'll go and meet him and he says we don't do business with Spurs. But what I would want you to do is go over to my other club. I think it was, is it Spartak or CSK Moscow, one of the two, and go and play in Russia for a year. And I was like, fuck it. We're like about in Russia. at that time as well I'm saying I'm not sure cold as well he's probably thinking he'll get shot we'll have to pay him up but do you know what when I look at it because he says you'll go there and you come back I'll give you a new deal and I said no I said no I should have gone for a year sucked it up but you've got to understand I had aspirations for playing for England at that time so I was playing England under 21s and I was thinking do you know what if I go there and back then you can't do what you do now.

49:43These boys don't know how good you are. Good they got it. Because back then, if you left the country, whether you're first team or not, you won't get looked at in the first team or playing for your country. So that was how it was back then. That's why people were very sceptical about going abroad. It was a big thing with the FA that you had to play in England in the Premier League or the best league to be looked at for your country. He was seen as a genius, wasn't he, Mourinho? that first spell any examples on what he did like behind the scenes with any other lads that you think everyone loved him everyone loved him everyone would play for him and what he did was even if you had a bad game he'd take the heat off you and make it all about him so that's why he'll say I'm the special one or something like that so everything's concentrated on him rather than the players so when the players are making mistakes or not good enough he'll tell you he'll let you know by his actions look he'd done a few things that I remember we went away to Fulham I think I was watching on the TV as well he brought on Sean Wright Phillips and I think Joe Cole and then took them off as well in the same half so it just showed you he doesn't give a toss but if you're not doing it you're not doing it so it's But it did look like he humiliated a lot of people, but at the same time, if you don't do things his way, he'll let you know about it and he'll tell you through his actions, actually.

51:18So all the special one were basically just to take the heat off the lads, not him just being an arrogant arse? It's a bit of that as well. You've got to be a bit arrogant as well. Yeah. When you've won the things he's won and done the things he's done, who can question him? his method worked back then probably not so much probably now because I think he could work with men back then and he'll turn you into a man and that's probably why it was a little bit harder with me because I was a boy and I wasn't showing that I could be a man I had no signs so it would have been when you look at what he'd done for that football club and what he even done before you came there he was at Porto winning the Champions League he just showed you his methods worked and he had the buy-in from all of the people that wanted to work under him.

52:08So you had Ricciardo Carvalho, you had Paolo Ferrer and the people that wasn't on board, they got rid of. 16 goals, one that they conceded or something in that first season. Is it, yeah? Yeah, is that right, Georgie? Who, Jogba? No, Chelsea conceded. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ridiculous. Yeah, but even in that first season, Even when I'm talking about Jogba, he didn't score that many goals. I think he got about 15 at the time. Was it 12? Less than. 12 or 12. Yeah, something low. But his assist rate was massive. And I just remember not being around it, but hearing from the other lads that he just loves him.

52:55He loves him. He knows he's going to come good. So I'm glad that he actually stuck with him because the season after, then he was a beast and he couldn't handle him anymore. Had the lads noticed like, you know, going in for new contracts once Abramovich came in, the new contracts were a lot better than the ones before. They're like, you never guess what the fuck you're giving me here. I fucking love the Russians. They're fucking brilliant. Yeah, yeah. But I didn't sign my new contract under that new regime. Oh, so you're right. Yeah, so I was on the old regime. So it was a little bit different.

53:28And I couldn't, I'd already signed a lot, so they had me trapped. So I couldn't go back in and say, oh, by the way. You don't do that contract I just signed with the old lot. Can you pull it onto your perspective, please? Your timeline. But no, it was great to be around it, mate. I really enjoyed it. And you take a lot of experience from your early days, don't you? And it makes you who you are later on. Did you take some, you know, when you said you were angry at the time when he came for you in the meeting, did the penny drop after that though? You know, when you've left in that summer? One thing about me, the penny never drops.

54:06Unless I drop the penny.

54:11So I'm basically one of those guys that I'm hard of. And look, I think with most people that get to that level in those days, you just had to be sometimes hard of hearing. Because if you listen to everybody, and I know you have to listen to the right people, but if you listen to everybody, you come out of your sense of delusion. So I was a bit delusional that everything's going to work out all the time. I'll do things my own way. If you didn't like it, suck it. But it wasn't me being rude. It's just what worked for me. I didn't want to come out of that zone. And I was very stubborn. And my uncle would tell you that I used to listen to him quite a lot.

54:53Then when I got to a place where he didn't even understand, and I could tell he didn't understand, then I just went and done it my way. and listening to sometimes when I look back I was a little bit of a cock yeah because I didn't appreciate what I had at that time but you've gone on to play seven times for England so I'm just thinking you did really well at West Ham you must have did you change anything or were you exactly the same as you'd always been when I started at West Ham obviously there was Alan Pardew there I was quite comfortable there because some of the players I'd played with in England under 21s, you had your Dean Ashtons, you had your Nigel Rokokas.

55:38Anton. Yeah, Anton Ferdinand, you know. And these guys I was really already got. There's a few other players I'd played with as well. Then you'd look at it and you'd think, do you know what? I could have a right go here, make a new home. Well, the TGI lads in there as well. Yeah, there's a load of TGI. You had Hayden Mullins. You had a load of us in there, man. Marlon Harewood. And then you had, obviously, the older lot. You had Teddy Sher in them as well. And everyone just got along with everyone. And Yossi Ben-A-Yoon was quite a character as well. Great guy. Spoke to him the other day, actually.

56:16I haven't spoken to him for years. But, yeah, we just had a great, lively dressing room. And I appreciated going from, one, So we were always trying to win that perspective, just to be a little bit more relaxed. I'd like to say, I found my home kind of thing. Although, yes, I wanted to succeed and get back into that reckoning, playing Champions League all the time. But where West Ham were, we were trying to climb up to get to that, to get to European football. So I felt I could work towards something. So I thought it was a match made in heaven at the time. Coming in with a really important message this week, gents, because we've teamed up with Think and it's something that matters to all of us, drug driving.

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58:33Driving. Which manager got the best out of you? Well, that's what's funnily enough, it was Ola. so when he came to West Ham that was like about two, three years later about two years later I think he came to West Ham because he'd done well at Watford so I think we we brought him into West Ham and I just like and then Steve Clarke was there as well who Steve Clarke was my youth team manager at Chelsea so he was the one that forwarded my name to Ranieri for me to get my chance and so it was just a match made in heaven straight away I just knew that I felt at home when he came and then that's when I started progressing Why?

59:10like what does Zola do for you personally that other managers didn't? Because I can't imagine them making you angry. Do you know what? There's one thing that stands out. So we're having a team meeting and it's a totally opposite one to the one I told you about Mourinho. And so we've gone through all what we're going to do and tactics wise this is how I want you lot to play. But you need to get up to Colton. Get the ball up to Colton as soon as possible and then he'll do the rest. when you're when you're managing saying that in front of your teammates that just give you a self-confidence especially if you're saying that to your other professional peers and he's saying well that makes him the best now do you know what I mean he'll do the rest so everything was geared up for me to score goals but that's not making you angry is it like you were saying before getting the best out you're making it that's filling you with love that's filling me and that's what I work with do you know what I mean I work with love and I don't look you can get me angry but it won't last because I'll just I'll soften up so I'll say what am I even upset for but short term wins you've got to keep you angry all the time you can't keep me angry I've been knocking everyone out you know what I mean sitting there inside of me so I work more with love fuel so yeah it was no so when he come in I just knew straight away from that conversation alone with the team that he was going to get the best out of me.

1:00:38Then we started going out to train and everything and then we just saw the pattern of plays that he was trying to implement. So for me, he was unbelievable. Then I had Steve that I was very familiar with as my coach on youth team football. And I just knew that I was going to, and I didn't want to let them down. I actually didn't want to let them down because I felt they put all this trust in me. They know me from my Chelsea days and they know how good I am. Responsibility again, that, innit? Yeah, yeah. And that's what I needed. I needed the responsibility. Did you stop going out then at West Ham?

1:01:09Yeah, I did. I did. I stopped everything, really. I slowed right down at that time when they come in. Before, I was still going out here and there, but it wasn't as bad, do you know what I mean? Because I was getting older now. And I could see that I wasn't even anywhere near the England team at the time. So I really wanted to give something to myself and buckle down because I knew I could. because when you start seeing some of your England under 21 teammates getting into the first team now, you're thinking, I'm fucking up here. So it was important to me just to knuckle down and especially when they come in, Steve and Zola, it just made me feel that I need to just get going now.

1:01:53That's when you dropped the penny? Yeah, that's when I dropped the penny. That's when I dropped the penny. I thought, yeah, I heard that, let's go. So, yeah, that's when I started to start going full steam ahead. What age have you been here? I was about, was it 23, 24 at that time? So, yeah, it was time to get to that level where I knew I could get to, just to be a bit more serious about my life. Craig Bellamy ever ignites some of that anger at training? What a person. What can I say about Bellamy's? Because John always said, you play with me at Cardiff, and says in training, you just give a lot of stick to everyone.

1:02:34Nasty. I would say some nasty stick. You know, look. But because he wanted to win. Yeah, he's a winner. And I'm actually happy that I played with someone like that because he did get the best out of me. Because you know he moans quite a lot. It's a different type of moan, though. It's not a moan like I was getting from Hasselbank. Jimmy. It wasn't like our up your level moan. who was like, pass me the ball, man. Or you're not good enough today. Or, you know what I mean? Like, where the fuck have you been last night? Or something like that. And he'd get on you if you had a baggy touch. So you just got to tighten up everything.

1:03:13You had to tighten up. And that's what brought the best out of me. I remember when I first got my call up with Bellas. I remember him being on the bed, getting his massage. And then he, and then I think it must've been in the papers I was about to get the call up. but I didn't know because I'm underweiser sometimes I'm just in my own world well most times and as I walked in he goes golly you seen this he goes how and then he turned to him and I said how the fuck are you going to play for England he says you're not good enough he said he said he had a smile on his face but I was like really and then because the physio was the first one to tell you are you fit and all that so you get to know.

1:03:59And I said, and then the physio come out and goes, Coley, come in here. England want you to go away in this camp. You got anything wrong with you? If you have, let me sort it out now. I said, no, I'm fine. So that's how I found out, but it was through Bella's first, shouting down the other side of the room saying you're shit. How'd you get into England, team? That's how I found out. I don't mind that kind of crap. I think if you were flogging in at North Wheels, because we were shit. Do you know what I mean? Tighten your touch up. I fucking can't think. It's just not a great first touch. No, but you know with Bellows, you don't want to hear it on the pitch as well, because you get upset because of crowds, and he was doing it in front of the whole crowd as well.

1:04:41It's embarrassing. So you just don't want to get to that with him. But I just knew he was good for me. He was really good for me. It all comes from a player that said him wanting to win that much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing with it. Yeah, definitely. Am I right in saying you were given the responsibility of looking after Tevez? Oh, yeah. I know. Why would you do that? I've only known you for an hour or so, but fucking hell. I can ask sometimes. No, to be honest, with Carlos, Carlos was, obviously he wanted to go out and just see the nightlife and there was no one better than me to do that.

1:05:17So I took him out. He said he wanted to go to the casino and then he wanted to go to like a nightclub, see, because his family weren't around town. Masquerano, he had his whole family here. So Tevez was on his own. And he was staying at the Four Seasons Hotel. And his agent, obviously Kia, at the time, knew that I was supposed to take him out. And he'd said, I can coldly take him out somewhere and just show him a bit of life. So one of the staff said to me, can you take him out and show him a good time? I was like, oh, I'm not sure. but you know what language barrier law tgi is let me introduce you

1:06:03to be fair we've graduated from tgi yeah but um no carlos was he said he wanted to go i said all cool what do you want to do he said he wanted to go casino he likes to go casino i said all we'll go casino went to the london colony i think it was and then um from there he says um do we have a nightclub? So I said, yeah. So one of my mates owned a nightclub over in Central. I think it was called, I can't remember what it was called, Libertine or something like that. I can't remember. But Mark Fuller, he's my mate, he owned it at the time. And he said, listen, I said, I'm coming down with Carlos.

1:06:42And I didn't realise, I knew I'd seen Carlos play, you understand. And I saw back in the day, he was always linked to Chelsea as well. so I always had one eye on this Carlos fella but I didn't know I was going to play with him at West Ham and I knew he was borderlining on world class type of players so I didn't really know how good he was it's only till that night out when you come out of the car and then there's a queue obviously but we're trying to jump the queue and we get to the front and then everyone notices Carlos Tevez with me and then they obviously see me because I'm a regular everywhere Yeah, it's only Carlton.

1:07:21But Carlos was like, oh, it's Carlos. Pictures everywhere started going off, paparazzi, everything. And I was like, fucking hell, this guy's famous. He's more famous than me. So I was thinking I was the dog's bollocks, but he was like a different gravy, mate. So everyone knew he was the man. And I was like, okay, so we've got in now. And I've got the task of getting the table sorted. So everything was sorted at the time. but obviously I start getting into it then I start getting in and then I'm still supposed I've got one eye on him then all of a sudden he's gone so I'm thinking fuck and then it wasn't all of a sudden it was probably about an hour yeah but he didn't care I thought he'd gone toilet but obviously he slipped off and I'm thinking the one task I had to do I've got drunk and he's gone and that's my guy and I've got So I'm there phoning.

1:08:18I phoned his agent, didn't pick up. Phoned him, didn't pick up. I said, where the hell is he? And so the next day I walk in quite sheepishly into the dressing room. And then he's in there with a coffee like that. He says, hey, Colleen. Mate, I didn't know what to tell anyone because I didn't even know he could speak English to get home. He couldn't speak English. So I was thinking, how's he got home? So I didn't know. So I've got home. I've actually come in early. and he was in there earlier than me. So I was thinking, oh, mate, did you enjoy it? Did you enjoy it? He says, yeah, very, very good.

1:08:53What a guy. How do I tell the club I've lost Carlos? Yeah, but he's a top fella, Carlos. Top fella. We had a good time whilst he was up with us. Didn't start off well for him, but then once he got going, he got settled in. He was part of the great escape, wasn't he? And we stayed up. I just remember him being drop dead ugly. listen Carlos yes he's not palatable to the eye that's a better way to say drop dead ugly by the way I think he's improved as ages yeah when he first he was a bit raw he needed a bit of money to straighten up you know you know what money does to me sometimes you can look like a you start at a two then you go up to about eight I think he's about seven now I can't see you sneaking off with a bird yeah but he's what a person what a heart he's got he's a great guy lovely person and that's what that's what made up for his looks were you when Zola left was were you devastated personally I was definitely I think the whole team was because you gotta understand we felt like we were working towards something I think I remember the year before I'd scored a bang goal, but it wasn't just me, it was a team goal.

1:10:16So it was like everything that we'd been working on in training, in formation, and the way he wanted it passed around because he wanted the ball on the floor and the deck. And that's how I wanted to play. I wanted to play football on the deck because that's how I brought up. That was my education through Chelsea. It wasn't lump it long to my head. It was everything. I was really good at my feet for a big man. but when he come in he we deployed that style and he looked at it and he thought Colton is really suiting this type of football and I remember scoring a goal up at Wigan when it was in out in out and then back through then in out and then I score it was a Terry on Riesk I say and you know that one who used to come in from the left and then just whip it yeah yeah so I'd I'd done that right and it got I think it nearly got goal of the season I think that goal it was one of them I think it was first or second it got but yeah we was working towards that so we wanted to replicate that more and more and getting better at it Can you hear the affection that you've got for him in terms of if a striker scores a goal you score a goal but you're happy about the way you scored it because that's how he wanted you to play yeah because if we wanted to play like that and that's how we wanted to play it looked beautiful it was beautiful football wasn't just a Calton Cole goal no no no it was a team goal and that's how I'd rather a team goal rather than Colton just me doing something magical or something out of this world I'd rather it be about the team I'm more for the people rather than myself most times so when we scored that goal I felt yeah we're working towards something great here so when obviously the takeover happened at West Ham we'd finished I think we finished like 14th or something like that, that season.

1:12:09Wasn't great or 15th, I can't remember. But the new regime wanted to come in, David Sullivan, Karen Brady, David Gold, they were to come in and put their own stamp on the club. And he was a victim, so had to go. But the players were really upset about it, really, really upset, because we thought we were going to add to what we'd started and we could see and we loved him as well. He's such a great player in training as well. He's unbelievable. I think that was part of it. I think that was part of the reason why we weren't doing too well in the league because our defence and our strikers were low on morale because he's twisted and cutting in and turning and putting it on core.

1:12:54We were like, you can't do nothing about this. This guy's 48, 50 and he's still doing it to us. So yeah, he was part of the problem. I've never had Matthew Upson down as a loose cannon on a night out. I always thought he'd be, you know, like, one of them all sits back and just oversees. Yeah, he's in there, mate. No, look, Matthew Upson, he's a great person, great guy. I'm still speaking to him today. He's in the media, does a lot of media now. But Matty Upson, what can I say about him? Once he does get going on a night out, it's hard to stop it's like a locomotive train mate no brakes so there isn't a lot of us have got alter egos because it's you've got your professionalism then you've got your real self and a lot of us like our real selves and we like seeing the others real selves as well and then once you can see them speaking oh he's out he's out yeah then you feel then you feel safe do you know what I mean so you can just crack on and enjoy the night so when when Frank the Tank comes out that's his alter ego I think I heard it might have been Rio Ferdinand on about I think Carrick was people were saying he looks stiff and a bit boring and this and that and he went get him in a reggae yeah yeah and he'll see him yeah Wayne Bridge as well get him on to get some bit of reggae bit of reggae on bit of Bob any surprise is that for Michael Matthew Upson likes a bit of reggae no no Michael Carrick oh Michael Carrick yeah that's even more shocking I know I know I thought it'd be a Chris de Bergman.

1:14:37Listen, man, players, they surprise you sometimes with what they're into. It's funny, it's hilarious. So, yeah, when you see Matthew Upson, just say, how's Frank? He doesn't want to speak about it, by the way. He'll always, he will never speak about Frank. I think he's had bad times with Frank. But we love Frank. We love Frank. You'd rather Frank comes out. Yeah, rather Frank than Matty. Frank, will you? Frank, will you? Frank in the building. What's happening here? I was just gonna ask about Avram Grand. Yeah. You take over from Zola. Yeah, so obviously the next one was, the coming was Avram.

1:15:19And listen, Avram's, he was always out as well, by the way. Yeah? That's a shock. He was always out, because I would know, because I've got friends that are bouncers or whatever, they work in the city. I get phone calls and that sometimes. Your gaffers are there. Your gaffers are there. I was like, oh my God, he's out more than me. But yeah, he was a great guy. You'd love to have a sit down and have a beer with him. But at the time, when he come into West Ham, just wasn't good enough for us. Some managers are like that. Just don't get going. We got relegated on that season. and it was a bad time to be West Ham.

1:16:03But I don't want to say bad things about someone, but it wasn't good enough for, to have a team like us to stay up at that time. So I found him asleep. Yeah. So these are all the little things that add up, you know, these are the little things that add up to making somebody's character. But you try and, you got a pussyfoot around it sometimes. But I've, yeah, I found him asleep on the desk and he was out supposed to be training and everyone was asking, where's Avram? Where's Avram? And then he says, no, his car's in, he's been in. He says, well, he's coming early. So yeah. But the night before I knew he was at the London Colney.

1:16:46He was at the casino. And so I knew he was in, but I just thought, let me go and test, see if he's in his room or he's not in the toilet, keeled over or something. you know what I mean? But he was just in there, so I knocked the door in his office and then you could see he just woke up. He's like, oh. I said, Gaffer, everyone's outside waiting for you. And he's like, oh, okay. He's just wearing a seat for you. And he's coming out. I was thinking, oh, this is not good because we've got a big season ahead of us and the manager's sleeping on the night from a night out and he's forgotten that we need to train.

1:17:23He only tidied himself up a bit to go out because he always looked a scruff, didn't he? I was going to say, on the sideline. Like Greenback. Shirt untugged. Yeah, yeah, he's quite consistent.

1:17:36Baron Greenback. Has he ever seen him with no clothes on? I can't imagine he looks great with no clothes on. Oh, come on, John. But you know what, with Avram, he's just a great guy, man. Honestly, you understand what I'm saying. If you meet him, you'd be like, do you know what? He ain't that bad, you know, but he's just shitting his job. I think I heard. Did Joe Cole bump into him recently in a nightclub? Who? Joe Cole. I heard him speaking that he was in a nightclub. Probably. Davram in the same nightclub. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's still about that. Is he about 60? Yeah, a bit more, probably. Can't keep a good man down.

1:18:12That's what I'm saying. That's why I don't judge a book by his cover. He's loads of fun, mate. Trust me. Loads of fun. Loads of fun. Big Sam comes in. Yeah. The legendary Dubai trips. Oh, mate. You've heard about them. We've heard a few. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, when Big Sam comes in, obviously, I'm looking at it. I'm thinking, you don't like me because I was actually supposed to go. Before I went to West Ham, I was supposed to go to Bolton. So, I took a meeting with him and my agent at the time. And I sat down with Sam. and he sold me the club, sold me. And I said, Bolton though, isn't it?

1:18:59It's up north. I hadn't had a good time at Villa as well. So I said, I wanted to stay in London.

1:19:07And it's probably a big mistake of mine because knowing him now and when he wanted me then, he probably got the best out of me. But when he came to West Ham, I think he held that as a little bit of a grudge. Yeah. and thought that I was a bad egg because we'd just gone through that relegation season. But I'd actually had one of my better seasons in that relegation season. I think I scored about 12, 13 goals in that season. So it wasn't that bad for me as a striker, but just, I think when he come in, he just wanted to clean it up. I'd probably get a few of his own deals through as well. You know what it sounds like, wheeler and dealer.

1:19:46So he probably needed me off the wages. but I'd offered to stay on, I'd offered to cut my wages in half to stay at the club, yeah. So I said, the ball's in your court and then they took it up in the end but he's still got his people in. He's still got some of his players in. I think... For what reason? I just didn't want to leave. You didn't want to leave the club? No, didn't want to leave at the time. And I felt quite, because I could have gone to Stoke. I could have gone to Stoke but I took a meeting with Tony Pulis as well. I just thought it wasn't right for me to go up there. Carlton! And up there as well, I played a few times up there away and I just never had a good time up there.

1:20:32It was so hard. So I was thinking, how can I make that at home? Do you know what I mean? Because I've never scored a goal there. Do you know what I mean? So I was thinking, it just didn't sit with me. So I just said, I'd rather just stick it out and see if I can get up in the first time of asking with the team that we got and see hopefully some of our better players stick around. You know, when they talk to your offer up, I'll tell you what, we'll have half your wages. You're like, fuck, what? Yeah. What have I fucking said that for? To be fair, no, I already thought that already. I already spoke through.

1:21:02I said, I'll do one year. I'll do one year. And sometimes that does lead the way. Money does lead the way. But in this point in my life, I've just felt, I just want to be happy, you know. Was that the point when you left and went back to West Ham? No, that was later on. So that wasn't that conversation? No, no, no, no. That was because I was still in contract. So when I left and came down, I was at the end of that contract. So it was the season after. So it was just the one year as well? Yeah, so I spent a year in the Championship, then spent a year in the Premier League. but after that they weren't renewing my contract because obviously Sam had other plans and brought Andy Carroll in because he came in on loan and they were planning to buy him so I was kind of in the way as another England striker at that time although I hadn't played for England for about 7 months or 8 months before that but Andy Carroll had to come in and they needed to make space but really and truly when I looked back I could look back at it.

1:22:09I think they missed a trick there because I wasn't really bothered about Andy Carroll. I just felt, yeah, I played him. That's where a lot of teams need to understand when you've got a big personality and then you've got another one, binding it, depending on that person, should work, you know? It's not about egos there. It's about making the best for your team. So I was quite disappointed that they didn't want to offer me a new deal because I thought it would have been a nice, taking a lot of pressure off Andy. Because remember, Andy didn't really stay fit that much. So when they bought him, I think he came for 17 million, they couldn't get, he got injured straight away and they couldn't get a replacement.

1:22:50So I had to come back because I was really sulking over in Miami Beach. Not a bad blur to sulking. Yeah, sulking over. Fuck you, Sam. So I got a phone call. Are you available or can you come back? because I was actually looking for a club in America because I wanted to stay over there. Right. Yeah, but I didn't get to get to a meeting because I got a phone call before I could get to a meeting. Ball's in Carlton's court here. Yeah, yeah. So I came back and I said, listen, what are we going to do? So I made a bit of coin there, not going to lie. Don't forget when I took my fucking halfway court.

1:23:28Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did forget that. That's what I'm saying. The powers that be did forget that. the time and if I didn't see like when you do do something like that to reward the player you got you got to reward them a little bit even if it's a year contract or offer something you don't let them go and I felt hard done by it at that time lads this is a paid ad by the unbelievable people at better help because as men we're typically really bad at opening up but that doesn't have to be the case certainly doesn't that's why we're Really excited to have BetterHelp as a partner. BetterHelp are there to provide us with the support and professionals that we need, whether it's work stress, relationship stuff, or big life changes.

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1:24:56Obviously you've had a couple of bad seasons in there, like the club the fans are incredible when things are going well, but when they're not they can turn, can't they? Yeah, so look, West Ham fans are no mugs they know their football they've seen a lot of football they know what they want out of the game and what they want to see so when things are going bad they can really turn on you but if you put 100 % effort in, they'll love you forever. You know, like... Did you ever get it where you were like, ooh, fucking hearts of it? Well, for me, when I first joined the club, I said some things that I wasn't media trained at the time so I had an excuse.

1:25:41So I've gone in and I basically said, I want to go, I want to play well for this club but I want to get back into the top four side into a top four side now me being introduced to the club that's not the right thing to say to fans that I'm like hold on a minute but yeah because that is you've got to have ambitions but I shouldn't have said it do you know what I mean because you've got to understand these these these fans like what you're going to use us as a stepping stone do you know what I mean what do you mean by that and I and I that's when I looked at it and I felt and then I remember kicking my first one of the first balls I started getting booed so they knew that I knew that I'd fucked up with that that sentence what I said and some of the section of the crowd was booing me every time I touched the ball so I had to regain their trust but imagine being booed by your own fans like that's not a nice place to be and yeah you had to work hard to get back on on side so But the only thing that I could have done was just grind, man.

1:26:51Just worked hard every day. And I did turn it around in the end under Kerbishly because I was the last striker standing at that time. Everyone else was injured. And then I got to play a little bit more. So that's when I started developing. And then obviously Zola come in, then he just boosted me up. Then I got back into the England team. I'm going to get pelters for this. I know I am, but I don't know if they do know a lot about football because the Hound, you're saying if you're struggling and don't do well, then they'll get on your back. They were getting on the back when Moyes won in Europe.

1:27:21They wanted him out. That's what happens, man. Well, on management side, that's a little bit different. So with a player, as long as they see the commitment, you're running about, leaving it all out there, come on, you're going to get behind that, whether you're good or not, because they want to see you try. But with management, the style of football at West Ham is massive to them. They want to be entertained. They don't want to just grind and out 1-0 wins and then it's boring football, especially when you lose a 1-0 and you've not tried. It doesn't look like you've set up. So they got frustrated with that.

1:28:01But in hindsight, when you look at it, you can't have it all. Otherwise, the manager won't be with you. It would probably be in the Champions League somewhere. So you've got to choose your poison. Do you want to see great football or do you want to see football that's palatable to the eye, lovely to watch, but never win a game? Do you know what I mean? What do you want to see? Committed football isn't always beautiful football. Exactly. The exact same thing happened with Tony Pulis at Stoke. Stoke, we're never going to go down with Tony Pulis. Alec Kerbyshley as well with Charlton. Yeah, but now we want...

1:28:37At Sam McBoulton. Attacking football now, we want threats. Not necessarily just because of the forum, but the foreign flair players in and all that yeah two seasons three seasons later they're fucking down they've been nowhere near it since yeah because I think what it is you get carried away you get complacent saying oh this is always going to be we're always going to have this but then if you're finishing like 10th to say 10th to 7th or even go a little bit lower but you're but you're safe that 14th to 7th if you're finishing it that type of football is probably not pretty it's not great football but it's sturdy you know what I mean it's reliable but if you want to get better players then you start looking up and you think I want to be like that or the style of football the era's changed where now we're playing out from the back and everyone wants to do that as well so you have to get a manager fashionable manager because it's in fashion that's where a lot of teams don't keep their identity and want to do something different.

1:29:43And that's when they drop. And then once they drop, then you're looking at it thinking, do you know what? We should have just stayed what we had because we're at least safe. Now it's just up in the air. We don't know what's going on next week because we might play well, we might not. So you're going to get that from these type of teams where they should just be happy with what they've got at that time. But at the same time, they want to be entertained. So it's a hard balance. It's a hard balance. What moment would you most like to relive in a West Ham ship? Yeah, play a final. Play a final is really good.

1:30:21It was nerve-wracking, don't get me wrong, but to be shouldered with the responsibility that I needed. I know that this team needed me to get up, especially after that season when at the start of it, Sam as I was going to get into didn't want me at the club because he wanted to do some wheeling and dealing and he thought I was a bad dig or whatever then turning it around turning his view around and then showing that yeah I could be part of your team and doing well for him in that time when he needed goals I set up a goal and scored one that game and yeah I was instrumental to the resurgence of West Ham back into the Premier League resurgence that is like going against adversity when the manager doesn't want you in the next minute you're squaring that's what happens but I spoke to Callum Wilson and I said listen because remember when see Callum Wilson was with us obviously and Nuno didn't want him and there was all that talking saying that Nuno weren't playing him and all that sort of stuff and I said I said to her I said listen man just keep grinding man do what you've got to do always stay fit always stay focused as well because you can turn it around whenever and he might need you very soon it's easy isn't it when you get a bit older well it is yeah it is but look one thing I figured out at West Ham was just just work hard man don't mess about don't sulk and if you are sulking don't don't show it and take your frustrations out by working hard every day and training and grinding.

1:32:09That's why I look at it as well. I wish I knew that earlier in my career then maybe I'd have been further down the line but you live and you learn. Obviously we're all enjoying World Cup at the minute. How was you 2010? Yeah. When you didn't quite make the squad. How was you? Were you watching? Yeah, I was so close as well. I was so close to getting into that squad but I got injured in January with, what's it, they call him the beast in golf, Burnley. Jensen. Jensen. He basically snapped my leg in half. But I've done my PCL. But to be honest, if I didn't do that injury, I probably would have left West Ham because Arsenal were at that game.

1:32:56And then when I got injured, Grimondi comes in, into my box. So I was upstairs with my family and then he comes in and goes, long you're going to be because we want to try and get a deal done I was like oh mate because I was that I was I was doing really well I was already in the England team and then I got injured that that game and um it was just like everything I was working for was coming to fruition and then when I got injured the first thing that came to my head was the World Cup coming in 2010 and I was like, also obviously Arsenal were on the list to try and buy me. Don't know if the deal was getting done but it was on the list and that's when your life could change around quickly and then you go from there to there.

1:33:44With no disrespect to West Ham, I love West Ham as a team but when you're playing Champions League football week in, week out, then it's a different ball game, isn't it? You got back to your top four, weren't you? Well, that's where it would have happened, definitely. But I was on the cusp of it. So going to the World Cup, that would have been a massive thing for me. But this wasn't meant to be at the time. And I think it was God repaying me for all those things that I was doing before going out on the scene. He says, no, no, you don't deserve that, mate. So he took it away from it. Yeah, yeah.

1:34:23You can't make it that easy. you sacrificed early on how long were you out how long were you out with that I was so basically I was supposed to do the operation and that would have been me my season done but because I wanted to go to the World Cup I thought I won't do the operation and I'll just work around with my knee and I'll work around the muscles and they say that could be done as well but you have to wait to heal but it'll take lesser it'll take less time if you don't do the operation so I was out for I think two and a half months three months but then when I came back it was so hard mate it was so hard to get back to that level and then I was still struggling with it too so it was I told them the rest of my career to be honest I should have had the operation because I'd have probably I'd have probably been in a better place now even walking down the road I feel it so Could you watch it and enjoy that World Cup?

1:35:21Have I seen you dancing at this one? Nah. Join it as a fan. Nah, see like when you're playing, you know that you're supposed to be there. It's hard to watch. Yeah. You know what I mean?

1:35:33You're kind of looking at it thinking, I could have been out there. I might not have even played. But at the same time, I just look at it, I think, I could have been me. You know what I mean? And then I'm here sitting injured. Not sure what my future holds as well because there's a few moves that didn't happen and I didn't come back in the best of form either. So it was just a bad season for me at the end of it. Were you as close as like you waiting for the announcement as to whether you were in or did you know you were nowhere near it? Did you get the call? No, listen, I didn't get a call or nothing because I didn't get picked in one of the warm-up squads.

1:36:15So I knew from there I was like, oh, here we go. What were the managers in 2010? Capello. Yeah. But you'd been involved all the way up to that. Yeah, I was involved all the way up into the injury. So I was flying, mate. And then, gosh, that's it. It just got taken away from me like that. It is what it is. Something happened with Viagra in England? Oh, that's the way of England. It's what? Do you know what? I didn't bring this up. Everyone brings it up to me, right? So I remember doing a podcast with Jermaine Defoe. I was doing one with Marlon Hairwood. We was doing it through COVID. and we interviewed JD.

1:36:55He said, Colin, do you remember when we tricked you and gave you a Viagra within the supplements we usually take because we take supplements when we go away with England and he put a Viagra in there. I didn't, I don't know what Viagra looked like back then. Do you know what I mean? You might need one in a few more years. Never needed it. Do you know what I mean? But yeah, so when I just took it, I just bunged it in my mouth and I was on the coach going to football and everyone was just laughing. And then I looked around and he goes, I think it was Wayne Rooney. And he says, it wasn't me. So as soon as he said that, I knew it was him.

1:37:38He just looked guilty straight away. So I think they was all saying it. Did you know what? I didn't know at the time. Did you have an erection? He's wrong. So I didn't have it. Back on a buzz as well, you know, with vibrations. I didn't have an erection, no, because you're going to have to be turned on to have one, I think. I think that's how it works. It don't just give you a stonker, does it? And we're only going to do that for you, aren't we? Definitely not. But yeah, that was an odd thing to do to somebody, just to see if that boy would have an erection. That's a bit weird, isn't it? He does that.

1:38:09But I don't tell this story until he reminded me, Jermaine Defoe, on this podcast I was doing. and I was like why would you even say that? Why are you putting this out there? And then this is how it's got out. So every time I get asked about it I was telling you it's embarrassing isn't it? I told you one thing I was running really quick. Stiff net for a week off. You've got to put a bit of power on the front of the bus and just watch it. Oh.

1:38:42Well wasn't there a thing about the lads over in Mexico just now having to take Viagras because it's good for them, for the altitude. Ah, right, yeah, because it thins the... That's why they played so good. They need to take that regularly, mate, because they had a romper, a romper stomper of a game. Carry on. Carry it on. Everyone on Viagras. What's your secret? Oh, this blue tablet. Oh, so you know the blue now.

1:39:13Brilliant stuff. Brilliant stuff, this. I recommend it Was it much crack from Celtic? Oh Celtic well that was that was I went there do you know what with Celtic I always wanted to go Celtic you know that so I remember I was I was younger I think I was just I was actually just leaving Chelsea and Celtic come in for me but I was thinking Scotland I don't know Cold Yeah cold I'm not quite sure Russia That was the only Yeah, it was like, if I won't go to Russia, I ain't going to Scotland. But when I went, I think it was a bit too late in the day for me to go up there and make a real impact. Lee Griffiths was having a great season as well when I went up there.

1:39:59When I first went up there, I just went there for a week trial just to see if they... Because my knees were... There was a reputation on my knees, see if I could train. And I got bloody injured on the first day. Well, the second day, I popped my calf. so I had to wait another two months before I could sign and yeah it was hard hard work getting back fit and not even playing and Lee was on fire as well so I couldn't really get in so I didn't really have a good time up there You're still heavily involved at West Ham Yep Loving it Millwall coming up this season again Yeah You know he scored last time didn't you?

1:40:39Yeah so as I said I do the loans down at West Ham and that even, the dynamics of where you can loan a player to even changes when you get, when you move down to the championship. For me, it's all about recruiting. Recruitment after you've been relegated is the biggest thing for me. I think you've got to look at it as in you've got to sign good players, not like poor players, good players, obviously, but they've got to have a bit of heart. They've got to know what it means. Give me Nolan's. Yeah. So when Sam come in, when we got relegated, it was a perfect thing for us because we signed characters.

1:41:23Don't have to be the best in the league, but just someone that cares. And that's what I feel that we're going to start going back to now because the championship requires that. You've got to work hard first and foremost. You've got to match the work rate. If you don't match the work rate, don't bother coming out. you know it don't matter how good you are and I think that's what we're going to be doing with our recruitment this year so it's nice to be a part of it and seeing it out I think we're going to be doing a little bit of interviewing before seeing the characters so certain people from the club that know the club's DNA will go out and meet the player shake hands look in their eyes and make sure that we're getting the product that it's got the buy-in got a buy-in to the club otherwise there's no point coming I wonder if he gets all that because when he got promoted with Wolves, he had all the Portuguese lot, didn't he?

1:42:11Yeah, yeah, yeah. And obviously they weren't used to English football, but they were just that good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the thing. If Nuno does it his way, but it doesn't work out, then we're stuck with the players. Right. So it has to be... It can't be just Nuno's DNA, it's got to be the club's DNA as well. Because how many players that come in and out, because they only come for the manager. They didn't come for the club. So you've got to get that balance right. And that's where you get the characters, where you've got to try and employ them to understand the values of the football club, not just the values of Nuno.

1:42:52I'm looking forward to the all-daring TJIs. Are we going from here? No, it's top five. I'll be taking them out to TJIs, mate. This is the values of the club. DJI Friday every Saturday it's without film be here be square come on you bye go on then John we ask every guest so you sat in a boozer Sunday afternoon it's not just any boozer John you're going for a bit of Scranton yeah Sunday afternoon Sunday afternoon owes you five people you want I'd want Wayne Bridge to be there Joe Cole to be there I can't leave anyone out here. I've got so many good friends around me. Frank? Would you have Frank up soon?

1:43:38Oh, tank the Frank. Frank the tank. I mean, no, Frank's a bit too wild for me. Yeah, it's a bit too much, mate, isn't it? It's like, come on. Do you know who I want there? David Bentley. Oh. Yeah, I don't mind Dave. David is, do you know what? I remember back in the day, David Bentley, I knew I knew he was wild, but I didn't know he was this wild. I remember there was one match, there was one match we played under 19 game and he was playing for Arsenal. I was at Chelsea, it was over at Arlington. And I just knew this guy was unbelievable. He was a great player, isn't he? Back then, number 10. But he'd scored, every time he scored, I'd score.

1:44:22Then I'd score, then he'd score. We ended up having to share the ball because we both scored a hat-trick. but I remember someone telling me they was watching it from the clock tower that was in Harlington and he goes it was just like basically just two players on the pitch and he says and who was going to win the battle but we ended up sharing it and it was 3-3 in the end but I told him this the other day and he was like bloody hell Cole you remember that I was like of course I do man that's when I first come across you David Bentley but we had to share the ball so obviously I took it because I was at home so I still got the ball at home to today I still got it but that was one of my earliest memories of David so he definitely made that table you know what for a bit of sentiment I'm going to go with Anton Ferdinand he's a really he's like a psychologist now yeah yeah yeah I think he's studying it isn't he and because James Collins has been on here I put James on that table as well he's top it's a solid Sunday it's a strong squad it's a solid Sunday get David on a leash yeah every hour just Dave just have 10 come and sit in car park for 10 no but there's loads of people that make that table but because I'm one of those guys I'm there there and everywhere and I'm sure there's some of them that might not want me on the table the social butterfly yeah yeah that's what I am right man cheers man thank you very much thank you enjoyed it good thank you you