Charlie Austin | Killer Magpies

16:17The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I honestly I went mate I had a pair of Copa Mondiales and a pair of World Cups and everyone's like looking at me like I was like some weirdo but that was all I knew like I didn't we both want him as all good I just didn't in my head I was always just like I've got everything to gain nothing to lose the worst case can happen is I'm going to go back to Portown and I'll just carry the odds for the next four or five years I just didn't care so that was the biggest thing and when games would come they would play at the weekends and I didn't play in the games so when I went back to play at Paul Town at the weekends you can say better I was just fitter I was way fitter these lads were training Tuesday and Thursdays right I was just I was way fitter

17:00Charlie Austin:so what was the with the trial I was done six weeks there

17:04The Cosh Podcast Hosts:and then they had a transfer embargo so they couldn't sign me what do you think they would have done as well I think so yeah then the next day Swindon scout rang me I was like they want you to come here for a for a week on trial. So I was like, yeah, okay. I told Eddie, because he still wanted me to train even though they couldn't sign me. I told him, he's like, well, if you go to Swindon then obviously we're done here. I was like, yeah, no problem. It's a bit harsh, Eddie, isn't it? I kind of got it, because he did, I think that was a point where I knew that he wanted to sign me and obviously didn't want anyone else to see, et cetera.

17:37The Cosh Podcast Hosts:And then I was just like, right, yeah, I'm going.

17:39Charlie Austin:I can't expect you to wait. No, you've got a transfer embargo.

17:42The Cosh Podcast Hosts:You've waited around for ages. I went to Swindon exactly the same I went in there obviously they was playing League One Bill was obviously in there Cy Lee Peacock Hasney obviously she had like big characters in there and then there's me scruffy old fella turned out a banged out Corsa that I'd just reversed into the lamp I was like all these lads got PFA cars and that and I just didn't care we played Swansea on the Wednesday and I scored three and that and then I remember being at my wife's house and Danny Wilson ran me and said we want to sign you fucking Basel that was it yeah done

18:16Charlie Austin:you know when you're saying you didn't care did you have that mentality you know some people would have we've talked about imposter syndrome and everything you know fear going into a professional club

18:26The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I didn't care I didn't care I literally didn't care on the point of I'm a builder and so if this fails I just go back carrying bricks and laying bricks do you know what I mean that was my thing I never actually ever that was one thing I never got to a bit where the imposter of it was where you're like I never actually because I just didn't care I always then as I went through the football side it was well if I can't do it there I'll just fucking play here yeah if I can't cut it in League 1 I'll be alright in League 2 can't in the Champions do you know what I mean that's how I see it that's a perfect mentality as a footballer I remember doing it you know it's like strikers so we're doing shooting so I'm on trial Phil Smith's in goal you know you've realised you know when you do the shooting the keeper saves it like is what it is and just get the ball and go back.

19:13The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Well, I shot Phil Smith, dropped it, and I fucking blethered one. Like a rocket, it was like straight past his face, and it was like he gave me the goalie full stare like that. That happened. I just didn't care. Sounds like a big kid just enjoying it. Yeah, I had to. I had to enjoy that moment. It was like the two trials. One didn't work for reasons out of my hand. This one, I just wanted to grab with opportunities, and if it didn't work, then I'll just try and move up through non-league and just see what happens, yeah?

19:40Charlie Austin:And how about you in the dressing room? Like you said about the boots and stuff. Did that ever get into your head or do you just?

19:48The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No, I remember one time when I went to, I signed, it was like a week later, and then you get the PFA boots come through, don't you? And I'd got them. And I'd come back from training. One of the young lads took my boots and was like washing them. I said, where are you going with my fucking boots? Like, give them back. I thought he was pinching them. You ever thought he was pinching them? Give them back.

20:08Charlie Austin:it's like happy Gilmore when the caddy nicks his clubs

20:12The Cosh Podcast Hosts:where you going whatever just give them back so that was yeah and I just went in the dressing room where I was fortunate on the dressing room side we had like four or five youngsters in there youngsters but around my age so it was quite good as much as there was a gap with the ages with the young and old they was it was very connected did Billy look after you because Billy couldn't have been that much older than you was he no he was Bill five years older than me I think so I think I might be doing him well there to be fair He might be the older. No, he did. He did, but Bill was like the main character of the dressing room, right?

20:44The Cosh Podcast Hosts:That was what Bill was. Billy Penner. Yeah, and then you had people like Jonathan Douglas was there, Dave Lucas. You had like older people. And it was only really until we played Reading. He was in the bomb squad. Bill was like real bombed off out of it. We played against Reading just a friendly, like on a Tuesday, and we both scored two. And that's when we both kind of, he got in, and then I went in like three weeks later, and then it just kind of clicked partnership just literally went yeah didn't work on nothing just that one 90 minutes and everything changed then when you got no reservations like i don't know

21:19Charlie Austin:what you were earning building wise and what you're earning i was earning more building than

21:23The Cosh Podcast Hosts:what i was when i first signed my pro deal but you just thought fuck it i'm giving it i have to yeah i have to my first my first deal was 300 a week and 500 appearance when i signed for swindon So the incentives was I had to play. And then that didn't happen for, say, two months. And then by the time I got to January, I'd had 10 goals and they'd give me a new deal.

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23:54Charlie Austin:Check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies 18+. Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new Fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First Day Fits handled walk out ready for whatever's next visit your nearest Croc store today so you did so he kept you out of the team with the first couple and then he

24:32The Cosh Podcast Hosts:so I signed I signed September and then I made my debut away at Norwich that was mid-October time I think it was when they had the big hitters then Grant Holt was in goal up front Chrissie Martin Wes Houlihan Fraser Forster was in goal when they ran away with League One

24:50Charlie Austin:And then you got 10 before January, 10 in 11 games. 10 in 11, yeah.

24:54The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Literally, I scored my debut away at Carlisle, three minutes. I remember being in the room the night before, I shared with Michael Timlin, and you know when he's just waiting to go down for dinner, whatever, Tim's put the telly on, and the local news come on. Half the pitch was flooded. I'm thinking, brilliant, make my debut. And the pitch game's going to be called off. But it was on, and I scored after three minutes, and then just literally took off from there, yeah. And did you go in for a new contract then? Yeah, they come to me. I didn't know that. Which is fair enough, isn't it? I had an agent, and that was young.

25:24The Cosh Podcast Hosts:To be fair, I met this agent. He'd rang me on the phone three weeks before I'd made my debut and stuff, and just like, we have a meeting and all that. I met him, just a young guy. I was like, yeah, like so. To be fair, anyone could have fucking sat in front of me at the time. And that was it, yeah. And they went in for a new deal, yeah.

25:42Charlie Austin:To be fair, they'd have been stupid not to, because anybody's gone 10-11 in League One with three months left on his contract or whatever.

25:48The Cosh Podcast Hosts:i'd have gone yeah but then then we also went through and it just that season was just like a whirlwind for me and bill because i think it's the most bill scored in in the season as well like we just clicked and if i scored he'd scored or if it was one nil game it would be it would be one of us do you know i mean and danny wilson had it to the the other nine players played for me and bill you know it's like when you play out front but how'd you get the best out of you when the others play for you. There's no point in them trying to do ticky-tacky through the middle and more wide and cross it in.

26:22The Cosh Podcast Hosts:That's it. And that's how it kind of worked. John Paul McGovern was down the right. Daniel Ward was down the left and just whip balls in and we'd score for fun.

26:29Charlie Austin:You a little bit pissed off that Bill's known as the King of Swindon and not you?

26:33The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I'm way past that. No, Bill is definitely the King of Swindon. What a guy. Some of the stories that he comes out with and what he was. For me, I see it differently though because what I was part, I see them stories and you're in the changing with him. But what he was to me at the very start of my career is just what I'd see it way past all the fun and the good jokes and all that. Because, yeah, I see all that. But the way I see him and still when I speak to him, when I see him abroad, I do think like, thank you. I do say thank you to him when I started. Because I needed that. So I didn't have that and I was up there on my own.

27:10The Cosh Podcast Hosts:As much as I was like, yeah, I don't care. I've got everything to get and nothing to lose. I'd have been fucking lost I would have been lost I needed to have that older bloke next to me

27:20Charlie Austin:it's good that you bless him yeah I'm just imagining you now having a bar on holiday after six or seven yeah thanks man come on mate

27:28The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I fucking love you it worked for you yeah and he'd come back to me where the fuck was you when I was getting fucked up out of Leeds that's what he'd come out of me but no it was brilliant and then the season obviously went went the way it was and yeah we got beat to Millwall in the playoff final

27:41Charlie Austin:that's a whirlwind to that point though isn't it is that 12 months

27:43The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I made my first this is how mad it is Wessex Premier League we played New Milton at home in front of about 500 people and won 1-0 and my last game was of that season was against Mil when I played a final in front of 80 ,000 which is probably

27:57Charlie Austin:that attitude really helped you yeah you see you've gone in like

28:01The Cosh Podcast Hosts:fucking hellfire yeah I get it you can get people get nervous right and you can get good nerves of course but I didn't ever really seem to struggle with it not really only a couple of times through the career but when I If I had the nerves at the start, then it would have been, it went against me for sure.

28:17Charlie Austin:I can't remember if it was you that told us, but when, was it Billy that broke into somebody's house or something?

28:22The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, Bill told, that side told the story when he was terrorising Scotty Cuthbert. Oh, my God.

28:29Charlie Austin:So they had his key, have I already said they had his key?

28:31The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Had his key, got it cut.

28:32Charlie Austin:And then when, just moving furniture around?

28:34The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, when he went out the road, and when he went back up to Scotland, they'd move furniture around, mess up his house and stuff like that, and just rob everything out of the fridge and stuff like that. Yeah, stuff like that. That's Billy all over that, man. Who thinks they're doing something like that? But the line was, when they turn up with the balaclavas on, I'll imagine someone get a bat or something like that and wrap around his head, pull off the balaclava and there's Bill flat out on the kitchen floor.

28:57Charlie Austin:And what about the, after the playoff final, was it the Player of the Year Awards?

29:02The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah. Jeez, that's what we never... And do you know what's quite funny is, everything they've said, you know what it's like, when you see, you listen and you're like, that didn't happen. or you're in the room and you're like, that didn't happen. What Billy and Si have said, word for word, that fucking happened, mate. When they both come out of the toilets, they looked, they had all the foam, all over, and they just peppered each other with a fire extinguisher. Then they, you know, just near the bar, you've got the floor and down there, mate, they were doing Klingsman bollock naked like along the bar and that and the board members were there and then that was it, done.

29:38The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Home. What, music off, everybody home? Well, it was almost, The players were like, that was it, done. This is the player of the year, Dill. Yeah, but it was two days after we'd obviously got beat in the final. But Bill didn't care because obviously he was going to Leeds. And that was it. He was done and gone, mate.

29:56Charlie Austin:With the relationship you had on the field and, like you said, how he's been with you off the field, was he like...

30:02The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Not at the time. Not at the time because obviously he had family and all that. As much as he was a chat lad and all that with all the other boys, I was still I couldn't shake off that builder side I was just always going back to see my mates because I lived local they was my football mates who I'd see all the time but I would just go and see my mates who lived down the road for a pint So would you would you still go out with your pals after a game and everything like that? Yeah most of my career most of my career I did yeah See I think that's exactly the same Yeah mate I like the football boys were what they was right they was my work mates and yeah they were friends but still now I look back and I think on a general month to month basically I speak to four five of you out of like all the people you play with the rest it is mud isn't it John Paul McGovern said that to me when he when I left Swindon to go to Burnley he said to me that I said oh JP like we'll stay in touch he's like honestly don't take this like the wrong way he said but you won't because that's just how football works and I was like oh no we'll be alright I think I've spoke to him twice

31:09Charlie Austin:The thing is though, if you bumped into him in Marbella or somewhere,

31:14The Cosh Podcast Hosts:you'd have a pint and it would be exactly the same. So I've realised that. So I'd always just be with my mates, play, come home, go for a pint.

31:24Charlie Austin:At what point did you think at Swindon, I can kick on again here?

31:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Kick on or be the bollocks?

31:31Charlie Austin:Be the bollocks.

31:33The Cosh Podcast Hosts:When I come back after that first year, I was like, I'm McKinley. because Bill had left and Gorda Greer had left and then it's like obviously I was like well I don't know I'm the kiddie like and then they brought Vincent Pericard in Big Vince yeah fucking Juventus like everywhere but he couldn't move Vinny couldn't move he was saying that's dope man he couldn't move but what a lovely fellow he was a lovely fellow brought another guy in called Thomas Devese I don't even know where he is now or where he went after Swindon but that was it I was just like I'm the kiddie I'm going to play when they scored the goals and then literally just went off on it and and just picked up really as the season left on but I was much much more confident in the in the second season but I was I felt like I'd cemented it not getting too carried away but like I'm playing League One just don't faze me more of that aspect and then when we I scored straight away on the opening day and just took off again for the next three four months

32:31Charlie Austin:and when was it when the

32:32The Cosh Podcast Hosts:the interest started to come from from higher up December time December time I always struggled with that at the start not at the end when the interest come I wanted to know I was just a young kid it's the first time I'd ever been I wanted to know I ring the agent all the time like what's going on like what's going on when I look back I'm like stupid but I just wanted to know I didn't know anything about it and then we was playing went through Christmas January I scored a couple through January then I handed in a transfer request well Hull put bidding for me and Swindon said no I said well I want to go and I was like no you're not going Danny Wilson so my wife wrote a transfer request I went in and gave it to the fucking secretary playing for Swindon I'd only been a pro for 15 months do you know what I think I am do you know

33:20Charlie Austin:there you go deal with that I'm all it's classic you'll write it love if I write it

33:26The Cosh Podcast Hosts:they ain't got a clue what I'm writing down there so yeah and a transfer request then they let that out

33:33Charlie Austin:obviously Danny And they said no, but do you think he understood? Or were he all right? He understood.

33:39The Cosh Podcast Hosts:He understood because when I had a meeting with him and the chairman, like they both understood. He told me about his experiences and all that kind of stuff. But still at the time, I was like, no, I want to go, mate. I want to go. And then it was all in to go to Ipswich. I drove to Ipswich and they had a bit of greed. I drove there. Literally, as I walked in at Portland Road through the doors, the agent got a phone call saying we just had a bit of greed. accepted from Burnley. So I was like, okay. Went in there to do, like speak to them, deal with personal terms. And they was like, right, we're going for, you stay tonight and then you go for a medical in the morning.

34:14The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I was like, yeah, yeah, no problem. Walked out of there, got in the car, fucked off at Burnley. Went to Burnley. But it was a blessing in disguise because if I stayed there and went for the medical, I would have failed the medical like I failed the medical a whole four years later, three years later.

34:31Charlie Austin:Yeah, because somebody asked, Was it a shoulder injury?

34:33The Cosh Podcast Hosts:And they asked whether it was picked up. I've done, it hurt my shoulder. So I had nothing wrong with my shoulders before I became a pro. I dislocated it playing for Swindon. And then I, but when I was a kid, I tore my cartilage and the surgeon would have cut it, just cut it out. So I've just got bone on bone. And I didn't think nothing. I was playing non-league. I didn't think it was going to ever affect me going down that route. So that's why I was thinking if I went to Ipswich, so they'd give me a full scan shoulders knees ankles all that and they'd have picked up what it was when i went to burnley didn't have none of that no didn't have none of that literally just touch your toes literally yeah none of that the thing is if you fail it at ipswich that sticks with you yeah yeah you know going throughout your career it does stick with you and that's why i was very when go on when the next stage that's why i was very fortunate that when i moved to keep

35:24Charlie Austin:your harry harry was a manager and did it not bother you the bone on bone could you not sometimes

35:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:it hurts when it's cold sometimes when you open up sometimes you get ejection every now and then just to put some liquid you've done well there yeah and then and that was a scenario I went to Burnley and just played but it never bothered me though it was only as I got older you could just feel it every now and then

35:47Charlie Austin:was it Eddie Howard Burnley?

35:48The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah

35:49Charlie Austin:so he obviously remembered you from yeah

35:51The Cosh Podcast Hosts:so me and Marvin Bartley a lad from Bournemouth there then when we went for the first six months it was just I was like what have I done just because the dressing room was crap we had all the older players that was right at the end and that I just didn't like them they just was different to what they was different to what the older players was that I'd ever known at Swindon but these are obviously older players that had played in the Prem to a degree been like internationals been top championship players and when I went in there they was just they'd ran the club then when Eddie was there they didn't like the fact that Eddie was the manager and they was older Clark Carlyle didn't like him Graham Alexander I thought he was a whopper snap not for me was Caldwell there?

36:36The Cosh Podcast Hosts:no he'd left by the time then Ross Wallace was there so I didn't mind Ross in the end but at the start I didn't I wasn't a big fan of him Danny Fox Chris Eagles was there all them kind of people you know and I just just didn't really click with them it wasn't until the summer come he'd obviously got rid of them oh and then that was when I was much better I felt much more comfortable before we move on

37:00Charlie Austin:were you with Cheltenham? Swindon it's Swindon yeah

37:06The Cosh Podcast Hosts:oh fuck yeah when he ran across when he ran on the thing hey yeah I completely forgot that mate again this one go back to of saying about it all being true like everything they've said is true mate like we was with Betfair so the owners some who had shares in Betfair was with Swindon obviously we went we played Southampton on the Tuesday and beat them we all went there he's up in a box and he was like everyone should have put 50 quid and I'll run on the pitch on the track like bollock naked like yeah yeah fine alright I'd have even played on too like yeah alright next minute he's like he's fucked off with a young lad called Kurt Hammond what age is Billy yeah this is my first season so he could be 25 26 but Cheltenham to Swindon is like 40 minutes but as we all know what Cheltenham Races is, like, you know, he's a footballer regardless of, like, the level you're playing.

38:03The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah? Someone's going to know to spot him. He's jumped over the rail. He's ran 100 yards bullet naked and clingsmanned over the finishing line. Jumped back. As he's jumped back over the rail, we've obviously all gone in thinking, right, he's done. Honestly. Two, three minutes, he's back in. He's back in the box fully suited. Just, like, took all the money. It was, like, the most bizarrest thing ever, mate. It was like a throwaway comment. I'll get on there. I'll get on there. And everyone's like, yeah, right. Down the stairs. I don't even know if... He must have got... When I think about it, he must have just ran...

38:38The Cosh Podcast Hosts:When he got to the track, he must have just ripped all his gear off there and then. There's no way he could have went from the toilet and ran through everyone. So he just got naked at the track, jumped on, ran under the yard, jumped off, just grabbed all his clothes and just got them on whilst he was running his back in.

38:52Charlie Austin:Has he left his clothes with the willy lad? Yeah, the young lad. You told him what you're all bent on, but you stay in there nearly folded

38:57The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah but this young lad Kurt would have done anything for Bill yeah this young lad yeah he'd have done anything for Bill he would have done anything for Bill so yeah mate when he went on that what point in the race did he finish so the race it was like last race half five last finish yeah but I'm saying half five last race I'm saying Bill's in the starting blocks at 5.45 mate no we're not talking an hour later it's like 15 minutes so there's still everyone's still out yeah there's still people there and there was still a lot of people there because you remember when they had all that rubbish that happened a couple of years later when matey boy was having a piss on the so that was like a couple of years before wasn't it so it was only till after that when everyone was like right after the last race all the bars shut after like half no this was like still going so there was still loads of people around don't get me wrong it wasn't bright daylight but the sun obviously gone down and if you could have how easy how it hasn't did it never come out in the press or anything never come out and no one see him.

39:55Charlie Austin:But that's... Credit to Bill because he's obviously thought about his getaway plan, hasn't he? He's thought. Yeah. Because I think, did he go in the toilet? I think he might have gone in the toilet quickly and put his gear on and just came out as a normal. But that's not... He's thought about it before he had getaway with this. That's not even... You're not even getting done a little bit for that, are you? You're getting fucking arrested and the law. That's a proper... You didn't bother. Decent exposure. Yeah.

40:18The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah. With 60 ,000 people there. Do you know what I mean? So, So, yeah, insane, mate.

40:25Charlie Austin:You went on to Burnley, 16 goals in your first season. You say you didn't enjoy it.

40:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No, the first, what helped me, which sounds daft, I got injured three games in, down my shoulder. So I had to go for an operation. So I didn't play for six months. Like when I was in that first bit, that's when I'm three and a half years. So that kind of helped me. I could watch and kind of see the difference between the championship and League One. Then when I come back from pre-season, I was a disgrace. right I'd come back from injury I wasn't fit I just didn't do any of the training we didn't get a training plan or nothing like that I was just eating what I wanted just come back and I was Jesus I think the goalie beat me in the leap test so Eddie Al weren't very happy with me at the time my luck was Martin Patterson got injured on the first day of the season in the first half and I'd come on and scored and I didn't know anything about it cross come in defender went to clear it just hit me and went in I was off the duck egg so I didn't do you know what I mean I was off and running so it was a perfect start and then literally took off yeah took off in that first season when I was just back I was scoring the goals were you there with the sheep herding?

41:33The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah that was the following one I meant well we just went to Bath University mate we were going pre-season but we got a few quid like must be going abroad somewhere Bath it's close though it's not that far from here no not far from here no but when you're living up there it's the full uni so we've gone to Bath Uni brilliant right Like, all the set-up and that was obviously amazing. Then we went sheep herding. But what was it that they call you when they just give you a compass and a map? Oh, like, orienteering. So we'd done a bit of that and all. Do you know what I mean? It was just, like, stupid.

42:07The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Then we went sheep herding. What were we doing here? And we were literally in a big circle, like, trying to gather these sheep in. One of these sheep, like, lost its fucking head and just died. I don't know who he'd come flying towards. it was like the manager to Eddie there was Jason I think it was like Michael Duff was there and this sheep just like there towards him and they shit themselves and jumped out like being footballers I get it was like team bonding now I fucking heard in sheep and then no one knew what was going on do you know what I mean it was but it was such a strange strange scenario being in that moment in a field trying to purge sheep and I was like what the fuck is going on man

42:44Charlie Austin:I see him every week on Match of the Day but I don't know the fella what's he like didn't he

42:49The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I liked him when you're there with and this is what when you see him every day I match a day I only see like the clip of it of him you'll be like oh dick like he's a nut like he'd be belter when you get to know him and that and you're in the with him every day he's an alright fella I thought it must be the case he couldn't he wouldn't survive that long if he was a belter if he'd get found out but he'd you'd get found out in the change room the manager the manager takes him everywhere so if he was the belter he wouldn't he wouldn't be getting in the situation he wasn't especially in the scenario he's in now with the top end players get found out even more so I think he plays up to to it or whatever but he's he's a top fella yeah I'd like to think he does it all on purpose yeah definitely I like it when he just jumps in front of Eddie and tries to shake the manager's ass that tickles me like he's like the boss and that that tickles me I'm pleased you've said he's all right actually yeah i liked i liked him don't get me wrong he's not everyone's cup of tea right that's fine but i thought he was a top fella me yeah you said you said about that dressing room

43:58Charlie Austin:and the older lads not getting did you eventually get a few they left they all left and then it kind

44:03The Cosh Podcast Hosts:of burnley kind of started that was like the start then of the change so when eddie brought in kieran trippier he brought in ben me they'd obviously come in jason shackle had come in from derby he was the captain. Danny Ings come then, Sam Vogt's come like six months before. So he brought in younger players, but obviously he had a vision of what he'd wanted. So then it all kind of checked. So then the older people that was more with the top older one had to kind of lower down than what they was, because there was obviously more youngsters than what there was for the older ones. Then he brought in the lad Junior Stanislas and Zavon Hines from West Ham.

44:44The Cosh Podcast Hosts:So he brought in good youngsters. And then we just kind of took off then. Well, then Dyche came in. So did Dyche reap the rewards from them signings, do you think? A bit of both, yeah. Definitely. He come in. He come in. So it was the summer. Then he come in November time. November, December time. Is that when he just left? Yeah. When he just left. For personal reasons, he just left. And I was fuming when he left. No, I like this enough because he left. I had fucking 20 goals by November. I was flying. And then, obviously, he'd left for personal reasons. And then Daishi'd come in. And I was just like, oh, fucking hell, what's this going to be like?

45:21The Cosh Podcast Hosts:She just didn't really know anything at the time. I remember the first training session. Kieran Tripper hit a ball 60 yards at training and hit him on the back of the Swede. Like, hit him on the back. As we were walking up, he's like, I'm just going to hit one. Hit him on the back of the head, right? And he literally just turned around. Fair play to me. He's like, it just addressed the whole group. And he went, that's your fucking one. He was just like, that's your one. For as long as I'm in charge, that is your one. And then that was it. Nothing got obviously said after.

45:47Charlie Austin:What was the reaction? Because I imagine in one of them where everybody just turns. No, just just start.

45:52The Cosh Podcast Hosts:You've got to tie the shawl there. Well, it must have been for like Kieran because you know, you're watching and then you're like, this ball's going, that's got a chance or whatever. But you know when you strike one, you're thinking, fuck, that's it. As soon as that must have left his boot, he's gone, I've hit him here. That's it him. And so it was just, all the lads were like, fuck, what's he going to say? really. He was really good to the season, like Peter Dattler was mid-table and then the summer, that's when he kind of like added a couple in. But for my admiration for him was for my own personal thing when we was in the summer when I went to Hull, when I failed that medical.

46:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:That's when, as much as I was fond of him as the manager, I see a different side of him when I failed the medical. Because a couple of days before, I went back and trained for like a week I knew I was going. I just finished with 28 goals. I was like, I'm off. And he was fine with it. Bid got agreed. It was a Saturday morning. I'd like said bye to everyone. Went there to do the medical on the Sunday. And they put in a scanner, fine. Come back and he was like, but it didn't scan my knees. They just scanned my shoulders and that was all fine. Then when I led on the physio bed, he was like, I can put my hand on.

47:03The Cosh Podcast Hosts:So I can't straighten my leg. He's like, I can put my hand under your knee. So you've got a problem. I was like, when I was like, kidding that, this was like, back up to Leeds for another scam. Anyway, come back and the chairman was just like, no, I can't pay the money, not paying£4 million for him because they got stung with Bullard.

47:21Charlie Austin:Yeah, can you remember the chairman? Was it Adam Pearson?

47:23The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No, it was the Egyptian guy, him. But the physio was the ex-Liverpool physio, I think it was, robbed someone. And then when I come back and I'd rang him, I'd rang him and said, look, the deal's done. He was like, right, go home for five days and then meet us at Manchester airport. We're going to Dublin for pre-season, or Cork for pre-season. And I went and then when I landed, I'd spoke to him for like an hour on it. So I'd thought, excuse me, I thought that was it. Everyone has a medical, right? So if you fail one, that's it. Like you said, when he travels around with you, I honestly thought that I'm done.

48:00The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I honestly thought that was it. Every time I go medical, I'm going to fail one. but no chance and he spoke to me he said right we're pre-season just train as hard as you can doesn't matter if you're here or somewhere else then but you need to get it done they offered me a new deal but I was just no I'm not going to do it as much as I could have I was just no I'm not going to do it because they've obviously got potential replacements haven't they lined up ready to go yeah they had everyone to go Sam was obviously still in the building so was Danny Ings they was both there but I was trying obviously to get that's when I left I think actually Barnes come in I think it was then or six months later.

48:36The Cosh Podcast Hosts:But he was brilliant. He was fine with me. Then Nottingham Forest come and was like, can you come here when you do this? But it just didn't feel right. And then that's when Harry rang to the agent and I was just like, well, I'm going to fail medical. And he's like, no, no, I'll be fine. I remember on the Thursday I went down there after having all the scans sat in the waiting room and the doc come out and just met like the QPR physio I'd say was going up the stairs and it looked like he'd just seen a ghost. so God knows what was on them scans God knows what it looked like he'd seen the ghost so yeah all fine went back to the hotel back there the next morning I'm literally doing all the stuff and the phone rings and he said I've got to take this I was like okay picked it up then it was Harry saying why is this taking so long ask me if you want to wear number nine and Doc was like do you want to wear number nine I was like yeah right he said yeah I'll wear number nine put the phone down he said well this is a waste of time and that's done

49:27Charlie Austin:Harry must have had that much power within the club like you said other sanctions from owners not an issue with Harry and that was it I was done I don't know what it's like now I might have changed now but that used to be the case the manager could just the manager used to run the show

49:40The Cosh Podcast Hosts:now all of a sudden the director of football does everything now

49:44Charlie Austin:I've seen Dean Saunders if you got Dean Saunders talking to you and your medical you'd passed because he'd just talk and you'd miss his scan and then you've signed so you get in with the manager I failed my medical at all I never passed a medical before I'm being 23 failed every medical but I'm just looking at this managers go on games as well so here you've done 54 Swindon 82 Burnley so you've done 140 games near enough in four seasons so some managers think yeah

50:17The Cosh Podcast Hosts:the time I started the stopping bit was when I went to Southampton on the games bit because I snapped my I disc kept my shoulder again so I had to go for another surgery and I snapped my tendon in the hamstring so there was nothing that wasn't nothing connected I've never had anything connected to the knee do you know what I mean so I was always playing it was always something else so then yeah and then when I went to QPR that was a complete eye opener out of everything what was Harald like I liked him because he gave me everything like he made me feel top of the world he had all the belief as much as he had all the superstars in there it's like you're my number nine Bobby Zamora was in there Andy Johnson was there Kevin Doyle they were all there and I was there played international played numerous games in the Premier League he was like no you're my number nine

51:06Charlie Austin:because even though you've been climbing this is a different pool you're in with the players

51:11The Cosh Podcast Hosts:that point was a complete when I said to Burnley it was like they had Premier League appearances in that and there this was a completely different pool of players when I went in that dress room and you're looking around and like Terape's in there and Stefan and Bia's in there and all that Stefan and Bia went on to win back to back Europa Leagues with Seville when he left QPR. I mean, the club was just, Sean Wright Phillips was in there, Joe Barton was in there, Richard Dunn. There was internationals in there, so it was a completely different pool of players.

51:42Charlie Austin:And would you say it was a good, I know that there are different things about that dressing room, but did you find it a good dressing room?

51:48The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, it is, I know you said that, because it is down to personal preference, isn't it, of how you felt at the time. I also played. I also done well in that time. I felt comfortable in the dressing room. like with them in the end like when I got back as soon as I scored then I felt comfortable I don't know if I was it was strikers you just want to get off the duck as quickly as possible don't you that's when I scored my first I was fortunate again it was against Exeter ball come out Jermaine Genius hit a volley hit me on the shin and went in that was it I was away yeah and then I was away then do you know what I mean I never thought I'm still waiting I need to get that goal goal goal that was it but they were they was good as gold with me also like the players and that when I went in there You never find it clicky?

52:32The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No. There's every chance it could have. There was groups, and there were every chance there was, but I was just, maybe I was naive at the time or whatever. I just got on with everyone. Do you know what I mean? Have you realised you're a professional footballer in Premier League yet? No. At this point, this was still at the Championship. This was still at the Championship. That is getting ahead of yourself. This is the first one. Right. Have you realised you're a fucking championship in professional footballer? I got you. No, no. Yes. Yeah, I have done because I've done well at Burnley. It was like the point of, right, I can do it here.

53:08The Cosh Podcast Hosts:But it was more the players of getting fitted in with the players because it was a different type. Done well through the season. Then obviously we got promoted and then, you know, when that whistle went on, I'm a Premier League player. What is going on here? I just dropped to my knees that day we beat Derby, yeah.

53:26Charlie Austin:We're going to have a very quick break, gentlemen, to bring a message from Saley. What is Saley, Chris? What is Saley? But I'm glad you asked me, John. It's the eSIM that you just install on your phone, get on the Saley app, get the eSIM on your phone. Perfect for going abroad. I know you've used it recently, aren't you, Chris? I used it in Portugal, and I saved probably 10 times the amount that I would have paid for roaming, data roaming. Because it can be, it's like an hidden bloody... Cost. Yeah, it's an hidden extra seolody, innit? wasn't relying on Wi-Fi yeah just straight on which was a big thing ideal you take it for granted don't you that you can when we have our phones at home you can get internet wherever you want but then when you go abroad you've got them roaming charges as soon as you get to airport you're getting new sims or whatever none of that was sale just go into the app turn on your eSIM internet wherever you are it was very good highly recommend because I mean depending on how many everybody's got a phone haven't they If I go to holiday with family, there's six phones going.

54:31Charlie Austin:Yeah. Yeah, good point. So six times your roaming charges and all that. And as well as that, there is the extra web protection as well, which keeps you secure no matter what you're browsing. Which is important. Oh, is it? You don't want people, especially abroad, you don't want people getting into your bank details and stuff like that. It'd be a nightmare contacting your bank and everything. Yeah, so all you need to do is download the Silly app in the app store, scan the QR code or click on the link in the description. Using the code COSH, get 15 % off your first purchase. That will pay for itself in a day.

55:09Charlie Austin:Yeah. Kids, you get home, oh my God. What have you lot been doing? Yeah, exactly. It's happened to me many, many times. Yeah, cost price a bloody holiday. I'd hang my hat on it. You won't be disappointed. Scan the QR code, link in the description, download the silly app in the app store called Kosh really forgot that then point point This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Shave ice by the beach. A trip to the state fair. And a throwback flick at the local drive-in. They're more than just items to check off the summer bucket list. They're also opportunities to earn 2 % daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay.

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56:28Charlie Austin:Just like that at Lowe's. How are you in, coming from Burnley, Swindon, now you're in London? You know, people talk about the bright lights of the city. Smoke, yeah.

56:41The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah. You can tell where players get lost there, mate. So is going on all the time. You talked to, you said before about the... Yeah, the parks in the road. Yeah, because everything, there's something going on every night. Something is literally going on in London every night and you can see why people turn left, I was down the straight road. Like, you know what I mean? That's the scenario of it. And it wasn't until that summer when I actually see Adele properly. You hear all the stories about him. I see him training. He was fantastic. You could see that off the field. It was starting to play a bit of a problem.

57:16The Cosh Podcast Hosts:He was a phenomenal talent. But I just remember being there. I remember being there when I met Luit Remy. Literally, I'd signed. I'd be like, right, Luit, we'll play together. And now he's like, I'm going to Newcastle on loan. I'm like, what? He said, no, I'm going to Newcastle online. I said, all right, brilliant. Went in there. I was like, Adele, we played together. When you first go in there, he's like, didn't know anything. So we played together this year. He's like, no, no, I'm going to Fulham online. I said, fucking hell. Well, it's basically everyone's going. He come back in January, figuring out he's going to help us get promoted and fucked off to AC Milan, play Champions League football.

57:49The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Do you know what I mean? It was just such a surreal change room, completely different personalities everywhere. and that's why when you speak to a lot of people that's why their thoughts on the changing room is very different to everybody

58:04Charlie Austin:but you forget that he got promoted people talk bad

58:07The Cosh Podcast Hosts:to that changing room but he's got up mate we got it done yeah because I think it was more of it everyone thought we should win the league by 20 points it don't happen let's be real it don't really happen the team we had was phenomenal Leicester were brilliant the year they went up and then Burnley come second so Burnley basically benefited they fucked me off two days before the season started and come second anyway so that was it and then we obviously finished fourth and we had a great great team we had experience I think in the in the playoff final I was in the QPR starting 11 I was the only person not to play in the Premier League that's how strong the team was Rob Green was in goal Danny Simpson left back Nader Manua Richard Dunn Clint Hill Nico Crancia Gary O 'Neill Joey Barton Carl Henry me and Kevin Doyle it would have been

58:59Charlie Austin:criminal if you didn't go up really wouldn't it when you've just read that out

59:02The Cosh Podcast Hosts:it would have been I think the club would it ended up years after it would put themselves in a financial difficulty but if they didn't go up it would have really really done the club see what

59:14Charlie Austin:I can't see Clint Hill I can't see him accepting any shit in the dressing room he must have had to bite his lip he must have been so frustrated with it all

59:24The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah I think yeah I think it was but there was other people in there that would that were strong characters also so as much as he had to bite his lip people see Bob and that like Zamora and stuff Bob had a lot to say also like if it wasn't running everything wasn't going well he would say something he had Richard Dunne in there that would say the same Joey obviously Carl Henry we even had we even had Yossi Ben-Ioun getting to play for everyone like I'm a vegan though I'm a strong dressing room No, honestly, players were just kind of... I mean, one day, coming from training, I'm just sat in the dressing room, mess about with my phone, look up.

1:00:02The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Next to me is Carl Emery. A black bin is turned over, and then Yossi Benahoon's there, and them two are sat there playing fucking backgammon. Mate, they used to play backgammon after training three, four times a week, mate, just playing backgammon. And I was like, what is going on here, mate? Like, what is going on here? I wouldn't even know how to play. I still don't even... I watched it for 10 months. I didn't even know what was going on. Like the Domino's type thing.

1:00:27Charlie Austin:I'm bored, isn't it, with the lines?

1:00:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I don't even know, mate. I don't even know. But we had just, the players was just ridiculous. Like the team. We should have went up. We did. It was, we got it done in the end. Skin of our teeth.

1:00:40Charlie Austin:As a team of leaders, them names you mentioned, you'd consider them all leaders, wouldn't you?

1:00:45The Cosh Podcast Hosts:That's what got us over the line. We had a guy come in called Blackie, who'd passed away now, but he'd worked with like New Zealand. Steve? Yeah, Steve Black, with the All Blacks. He was really good for the group. He's what the group needed. As much as the group had leaders, Harry kind of like left the lads to it. He was the one that galvanised it and got everyone together. He was phenomenal.

1:01:08Charlie Austin:To be fair, it's not as bad as what, when you've read that team out, even Neyden, Gary O 'Neill, they're like good, good lads. It was after that it went, you know, when Basingwa and... Yeah, that was like before,

1:01:19The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Or that was like... Tell you a goalie.

1:01:21Charlie Austin:That's what I was thinking.

1:01:22The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Do you know what I said? He was there when I turned up. I could get the ball over the halfway line. I'm not even joking. What was this? He says that? Yeah. But he was looking out the window. He was playing like in the 23s game. And you know when that striker comes spruced out at the goalie all keen, this young lad. Anyway, Cruyff turned the young lad and just passed it out. Ball come back to him. He went and did it again. This young lad just took the ball off him and just rolled it in the net. He didn't care, mate. Like, he didn't care. And then he went on loan to Toronto, I want to say, for six months, just so he could be match fit, et cetera, to play in the World Cup for Brazil in 2014.

1:02:02Charlie Austin:So he's just come to QPR and absolutely tossed it.

1:02:04The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Oh, yeah, the biggest jolly up, mate. Biggest, biggest jolly up, yeah. See, he was a Brazilian World Cup goalkeeper. At QPR, mate. At Hayes and Yedin, pulling up at Harlington. QPR didn't even own the training ground, mate. like that's what he was turning up to

1:02:22Charlie Austin:Who was your least favourite manager at Kupia

1:02:25The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Hasselbank I just didn't like him I couldn't get on with him it was more of he knew I only had six months left and he knew I was waiting to go we just clashed straight away he sent a forward I thought he was going to bring something to the table for me he brought fuck all he brought nothing nothing to the table for me just the way he spoke to lads and also he changed training around he was like Monday Tuesday Wednesday off Thursday in Friday, game Saturday. We're playing on a Tuesday and everyone ran on the Wednesday. It was my, he said, oh, this is what we used to do in Italy and all this. And it was just like, oh, you're an idiot.

1:02:57Charlie Austin:Even if you played on the shows?

1:02:58The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, you had to just almost go for like a trot, like a good 25, 30 minute trot around the training ground. He was just someone that I just really didn't like. And did a lot of the lads not like him? Yeah, didn't like him at all. And he'd flog the lads, like get right after him in the running. When we talk about running Tuesday, if we didn't have a game, they'd run on Wednesday. We're talking, 8K a Tuesday, 10K days Wednesday, training. I see each other's thing about getting fit and the lads just couldn't buy into it.

1:03:26Charlie Austin:He's still getting the job at Flipping England, isn't he?

1:03:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, that's the most bizarre thing. You know, it's just not people's cup of tea. Me and him just clashed. And so when I got given the thumbs up to go to Southampton, I was delighted to tell him. I was delighted to tell him that I'm off and just walked out and not seen or heard or spoke to him since.

1:03:47Charlie Austin:That Premier League season, obviously QPR relegated, but personally, 18 goals in the Premier League.

1:03:54The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I can do lap scores 12 for Ipswich. I can get 20 million moved thingy. To thingy. To Chelsea, world champion now, ain't he? No, honestly, I don't miss two pence. Premier League debut against Hull, Mr. Penn. I thought that was it. And that was like the first time you actually realise, match a day, goals on Sunday. It was everywhere. I missed a penalty. But yeah, went through that, scored 18, I was flying, I was doing well. I think Aguero scored, Aguero, Diego Costa, someone else than me. Joking apart, was there any interest from, you know,

1:04:35Charlie Austin:when you said you like the ringer agent,

1:04:37The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Newcastle. Newcastle was, there was a big interest for Newcastle and it just didn't materialise in the end.

1:04:43Charlie Austin:And you're right, that's fucking England tackle. If an Englishman scores 18 in the Premier League, You're getting linked with England and all kinds. Four and a half, five years ago, you were at Pool Town.

1:04:53The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No, mate, mental, wasn't it?

1:04:55Charlie Austin:Cutty hit bricks.

1:04:56The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, mate, mental. Mental. I think I ended up with, I think by the time I'd made the, the time I'd got to the Premier League after that one year at Cuba, I think it was over 100 goals, yeah, in the time. Wow. It was fine. And then I'd done the thing where I'd scored the goals and I was like I just couldn't I just couldn't believe it it was just happening and we weren't very good in the Prem either but that was when the Prem you had to get 35 points now they struggle to get over 20 don't they like the teams that's coming up and I thought yeah something happened and then I went with England got an England call up in the summer but just didn't get a cap so that's my only like when I look back on my career like how did I not 18 goals in the Prem at the time don't get me wrong what he's done in his career now is no one can speak about right but at the time And Jamie Vardy only scored five.

1:05:45The Cosh Podcast Hosts:We got called up the same time. He scored five and I'd scored 18. And he got a cup and I didn't. It was just like that bit was just like, we only played Ireland. It's 0-0, everyone's gone. I'm not getting any chance. And then when we went to Slovenia in the World Cup qualifying, I watched Jack Wiltshire play one of the best performances I've ever seen in life.

1:06:03Charlie Austin:He could have been right up there without his injuries. Yeah.

1:06:08The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Who did you like playing against in the Prem?

1:06:11Charlie Austin:This might be a random question.

1:06:12The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Arsenal. That's who I scored most of my goal. I ended up scoring nine or ten against Arsenal. Because I asked Troy that question and he said exactly the same thing. Something that just clicked. Every time I seen him play, I'd score. I was mad. But the ones I didn't like, the easy ones I don't like to play against is the top teams, right? Because it's just a runaround. Because they keep the ball so well. Yeah. And when we played against Arsenal, mind you, when I played against Arsenal when I was at QPR, one was a penalty and one was just like a late finish to 2-1. And when I played them for Southampton, the Southampton team and the QPR team was almost chalk and cheese.

1:06:50The Cosh Podcast Hosts:As much as we talk about the names in the QPR team, what was at Southampton at the time when we played was like a different conversation really.

1:06:59Charlie Austin:Well, individual players, who did you not mind playing against? Who you'd think is a top, but you thought, I've got your number here.

1:07:09The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Koscielny. Whenever I played against him, I just thought, I've got a chance here. And what about the opposite? Who you've thought of? John Terry. He doesn't get enough credit. He does get enough. He doesn't get enough credit, right? Because everyone just sees him as like this leader or it was so much more to him. He could play. He could play a ball. Yeah, he put his head on the line and dive in there, make tackles and that. But he could play and pass the ball around for sure.

1:07:34Charlie Austin:When you played that, when we played in the FA Cup. Yeah. And he'd let you take a touch. he wouldn't fight you that was the worst thing you know being big lads we liked the you could not feel him and then you take your touch and he'd just appear and take the ball off you he'd probably seen a video of us and thought that's probably the best option they're going to have a touch it'll be fucking four yards away from me just let them have a nip in I actually got his shirt that game and then the day after it came out about all the stuff yeah obviously what came out I don't know if the shirt's gone up in value or down in value I don't know if it's more sacred to me I can't even put it on.

1:08:13Charlie Austin:I think it would have large. It might have even been a medium. It must have been slim. So it would have been like that. You know, like Vicky Pollard. My belly was just hanging up at the top of me. She's like, I'm going to have to put the cards.

1:08:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:What a debut for Southampton. Yeah, mate. I got signed by Ronald Koeman. That was the most amazing. I got signed by Ronald Koeman. Eight years ago, mate, I was carrying 12 bricks. in a hot next minute I was getting signed by Ronald Koeman it was like mad and then went to yeah maybe debut at Old Trafford how was he? I liked him I liked him he was very strict firm he had the aura of walking in the room like he owned the room when he walked in everyone kind of in a scared sort of way or a respect it was more respect more than scared no one caught on the scared side no one ever went over the line but he he had control of the room it was good respect for everyone and I think that's why the team did so well for him

1:09:13Charlie Austin:I feel like that's a Dutch thing though a lot of Dutch managers you think you've got a bit almost arrogance in it on the cusp yeah

1:09:21The Cosh Podcast Hosts:and that was it and they just went there I remember do you know a feeling listen to this a feeling fell out Saturday morning you know I'm in the hotel room and I feel it I'm chronic toothache I must have took three or four Dick and Felix I remember just falling asleep he set me alarm like to go for the meeting I went down to meet him gone back up the tooth was obviously coming up I said I got six or seven and a dick in the Phoenix or whatever before we played anyway he called me back the game was going on I was thinking this is mental it's amazing anyway he called me back he's going on I'll come on for Sadio Mane when I made my debut got one or three kick in the corner and just scored it's fucking unreal mate it still sounds a bit surprising yeah I think when you look but when I look back because still bits like when I look back at that point I'm like fucking hell yeah.

1:10:10The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Now my son's mad for the football. And obviously he wasn't around when that was going on. He was like, man, Old Trafford. I'm like, yeah, mate, I scored there, played there. And he's like, what? And there's something on YouTube looking at it. But yeah, when I scored my debut at Old Trafford, that was fucking phenomenal, mate. What best place to score on your debut is perfect. Win 1-0. It's like, welcome to the... Because you kind of come, going off, say, the season I just had in the Premier League and then for the first, first game I'd time to have happened and I'd scored four million lovely happy days could you see how good Marnier was no not at the time when Liverpool signed him in the summer for the money that's a lot of money when they signed for like 30 million that was when 30 million was like a lot of it was a lot of money where now it's almost it's alright yeah it would do it he couldn't really he was raw he was fucking rapid obviously and he was raw and he could do stuff in training and he'd be like had he out and then he'd go the other way and he'd be like oh my god and then when he went to Liverpool obviously he just just rocketed and that was it but you could see the difference with the top end where you say Tadic for argument's sake you could see that straight off the bat

1:11:27Charlie Austin:because he went Ajax he went Tadic

1:11:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah he won the show when he went there Liverpool Savant let him go he had I think a year left or two years left on his deal and they let him go he only went to Ajax he was involved in that in a good team that was the same as like Virg really I didn't really see it with Virg for the first six he was a really good solid defender but then when we come back from that summer that's when he kind of stepped it up and played the season the way he just was head and shoulders I just

1:11:52Charlie Austin:how do you step it up

1:11:54The Cosh Podcast Hosts:no I don't know I don't know I just it's just it wasn't even like he got big I think six plus anyway do you know what I mean it wasn't like he got big or put any muscle like it wasn't that it was just everything just become very easy and it's like he doesn't try again he lets you have half a yard on him yard on him you get the ball first wherever your next touch is going I know where it is before you like that he reads the game it's phenomenal

1:12:23Charlie Austin:and you're playing against him every day every day yeah

1:12:26The Cosh Podcast Hosts:major miles better do you know what I mean you're playing against him because you had to you had to be in different ways of it Jose Font was there he was brilliant for the football club but I think he was really good for Virgil as well because he was like the old as much as he comes from Portugal now he was like an English centre-half as such like to get stuck in where as much as Virgil did he could play with like a little bit less pressure on him it's mad because

1:12:49Charlie Austin:he played against him he was one of them players who I like to play against at Palace I played against at Charlton

1:12:55The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Charlton and then he went to Southampton for age and then he was the rest of his at Southampton he was playing against him he was mad in that man and he was there like nah I think he was at Southampton for eight, eight and a half, nine years. Won the Euros, didn't it? Yeah, him and Cedric Suarez won the Euros. Yeah, they didn't play one group game. They got through and then they both got in in the quarter finals and won the Euros. What were the Lakers lads? Van Dijk and Mane? I didn't really get to know Sadio very well. But Virg was a nice guy. But he'd come in, train. When he was in train, he was nice.

1:13:28The Cosh Podcast Hosts:That's who we always want to go home. Proper family, orientated people. So you didn't really see a lot of him outside. outside of football.

1:13:36Charlie Austin:Did he have his little ponytail then?

1:13:37The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah.

1:13:38Charlie Austin:He must have got a bit of stick money, surely. He looked fucking terrible. I'll tell him now.

1:13:44The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, because he was running the... It was just phenomenal. Ryan Bertrand, he played left back. He won the fucking Champions League. Played one game in Champions League, won it? Played the final. Played the final every day. The team was just phenomenal, really. It was. and then fast forward say 18 months when I signed majority of the players had left like the top end ones Wanyama had gone to Tottenham Jose had gone to West Ham Virgil obviously gone to Liverpool Sadio had gone to Liverpool Tallage had gone to Ajax it was just a big overall and then when they wanted to when they tried to do that the recruitment to replace them signings it was never happening like you unearth Sadio Mane like great you want to have Virgil van Dijk give Taddeus a chance fucking hard to replace them for like to like really ain't it do you know what I mean without spending the money or getting very lucky again and the players they brought in just wasn't who was that

1:14:44Charlie Austin:who did they bring in

1:14:46The Cosh Podcast Hosts:a fellow in called Guido Carriere they brought that Wesley Hoyt in from from somewhere somewhere in Holland he's at Watford now he was a Wally him he was a Wally I remember he was a Wally mate I remember he was annoyed the lads at sat and I remember being sat like in the where the swimming pool area was and I said to him Wes how have you turned 24 lads against you 24 lads don't like you he's like yeah but 25 in the team I said yeah but you're the 25th mate but he honestly like he hated like everyone he's just I think he was you know the Dutch are they're very firm and the way they are they're arrogant but he was like too much and the lads just thought he's dick and he thought he was way better than what he was he thought he was way better but a lad called Guido Carrillo they brought him for 25 million I felt sorry for him they brought him in from Monaco but he was nowhere near the level like to bring him in

1:15:41Charlie Austin:and would 25 million be a massive signing for Southampton yeah back then

1:15:45The Cosh Podcast Hosts:it's a lot of money yeah that's what I mean it sounds stupid even before pre before Covid 25-30 million is a lot of damage yeah all of a sudden everyone goes on about money in football now but when Covid happened and it went flip side I can just throw in 30 millions about for anyone yeah so yeah Southampton was just one of them then we had a big change around Mark Hughes well Koeman come in and he left six months Claude Puel come in I actually didn't mind him done the first year we finished eighth we should have went through in the Europa League and we got beat to United 3-2 in the League Cup final like and then fucking sacked him like what more do they want really like that bought a fellow in from Pellegrino Pellegrini not that one from Man City but someone from over in Spain and he was he was all over the shopping he was way out of his depth but what he had over all the lads so when he wasn't playing you had the um you're like right why aren't I playing he said yeah but go and play in like the 23s no I don't want to play in the 23s and what he had back to you was well when I was at Liverpool I under Benitez whoever it was I played in Liverpool in the 23s and six months later I got a move to Barcelona from it so where you what exactly What response have you got back to him?

1:17:00The Cosh Podcast Hosts:You're there moaning about playing 23 seconds. Well, I'm kicking off one o 'clock Monday. Yeah, do you know what I mean? That was it. You couldn't have no response to it. He got sacked and then Mark Hughes come in then and then it was just stag do. Really. What was that? We stayed up and then when we went to when we went to China yeah, it was almost like a stag do. But only because it was the World Cup was on that was 2018. Games were obviously on first like early hours of the morning but also the weather and where we stayed in China was just fucking horrific it was just horrific to what? to train in to just come out the hotel the hotel was nice when you come out the hotel you're like oh my god I remember walking past some one of these places like four or five of the lads walked past and I promise you the smell that was coming out of these it smelt like the gates of hell it was fucking horrible it was just it was it was awful we got back and then we didn't start too great and we didn't start too great and then he got sacked and that's when Hassanouk will come in

1:18:06Charlie Austin:I was going to say you've been very complimentary about most managers you've played under but I get the feeling just

1:18:11The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah I didn't hear him I just didn't like I didn't was it a personal thing or in the end it was in the end definitely it was but throughout that season say for the eight months it wasn't like it seemed to be everything was okay then when we come back from the summer I had a year left and he just partnered we've done all the tests like for two days and then we went up like on the Saturday morning we're going on pre-season tour on a Monday and he's nowhere like he's not there so we go up for lunch all there and the board's up all the names are on there who's going to Austria and then there's like the Bomb Squad in the bottom right that's training the 23's no heads up nothing but in the Bomb Squad there was me Geordie Classy Mario Lamina Gabby Adini and that Guido Carrillo no heads up no nothing so I said to like Alex Gross who was a snake also the fitness coach I said to him I said like where's the manager he's like he's gone I'm like we've got no bias tell us like we're not travelling or nothing like that he said it's not my issue we had a race we'd done a week like with Raddy Jaddy with the 23s who was brilliant like with us but as much as you're there like the 23s you're still not getting the same you make out by you with than you are with the first team.

1:19:27Anyway, you come back, first day we come back,

1:19:31The Cosh Podcast Hosts:go and walk through the change, like through the reception area, go, you have to walk past the kit, man, like the kit room, and there's five black bags with our names on, like we just kicked out the change room. That's Southampton, you got the main building, then you got like the academy building down the bottom, then with the other, and we all had to go down, get changed down there. And our kit, we had to pick our kit up in the morning, then we just had to just chuck it in like the bin, and when we're done, literally just got us right out of there so I asked him I said like why are we why am I out and he said they've got influence you've got influence I said really you think I've got influence you the manager of the football club over that over like the dressing room and that I just said to him you're a weak weak man and I never want to see you ever again mate and then literally was just gone for any I hated him he hated me in the end and I just couldn't think anything sorry man you know when you

1:20:21Charlie Austin:at the end of the season and you've said goodbye to everybody. Where were you at in terms of relationship with your manager?

1:20:28The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No, fine. This is what I'm saying. So for the first eight months that he'd come in, it was almost like a used... Now I feel like he used me to get in with the people that he needed to. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I was a lot older now, so I was involved with the people that was in the dressing room. Do you know what I mean? But as I look back now, he used it to be in that, to his strength more than anything. and then when I come back from the summer I just thought oh just train and if they offer me a new deal great if they don't I've got a year left so win win yeah but that's it or even if they sell me in the summer but I definitely didn't see myself or I didn't do anything to be

1:21:07Charlie Austin:yeah do you know what I mean

1:21:09The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah fucked off I definitely didn't

1:21:10Charlie Austin:I think I'd have gone with a flight to Austria Monday morning me and when I knocked on his hotel do I you know like really put it on his fucking tool

1:21:17The Cosh Podcast Hosts:but oh we would just laugh only because if it was me on my own it would be like fucking houses that felt bad but because it was like five of the other lads and we was all in the same boat like no one had no heads up no nothing other than seeing it on that Saturday morning

1:21:31Charlie Austin:could it be financial like were you all on were you all top earners

1:21:34The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah it was all getting weighed in but it was there was the other lads still getting weighed in as well but it could have played a part in it but you still got to be giving a heads up just saying it like that's all still now if you like if you've got a problem with someone or this is no issue but just say, look, this is what's going on. This is the reason why we're doing it. Okay, no, I don't like it, but. And he obviously had the end of the season.

1:21:59Charlie Austin:He could have just pulled you in then and went, he's got six weeks away from you if you want to leave.

1:22:02The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I think he thought I was just going to leave straight away. I think he thought that I wasn't going to come back to pre-season. He was way off anyway because the third Danny Rose, now the Sheffield Wednesday manager, he used to run the show. He used to run the show but he couldn't speak good English at the time so he would stand on the side with Hassan Uto, that we'd train and then he'd come in and just basically say what Danny had said.

1:22:27Charlie Austin:I just want to speak about when you did the match of the day interview. Having lost your head. Did you know before your head had gone? I'm sorry to do this to you, Chuck, but can I play this? Of course you can. I like this version.

1:22:37The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Hey, they said it's offside. Hit my head, didn't. I hit it twice, hit me. Bob's like, that's why I've done Foster. The best league in the world, the most watched league in the world. Give them all the help they need because clearly it costs us two points a day. We've worked hard, come here to get three points. We deserve three points today. We've been let down by the officials. That's why we didn't get three points. It's pitch perfect, isn't it? It is. First time I heard that was like the next day. The next day I was in the pub. I was like, I caught the 12 or something. And I got a message through, actually from the guy who'd done it.

1:23:08The Cosh Podcast Hosts:He sent it to me on Twitter and said, I hope you don't mind, mate, but this is what I'd done. It's all you've done. What I'd done anyway. I looked at it and I was like, oh my God, this is the best thing ever. This is the best thing ever. So we played Watford, didn't we? where it all come from so I was on the bench and as I was getting a chance to come on like five seats away from me one of our own fans said something I couldn't gasp what he was saying right but he was definitely giving me a bit for like going on because you put me in a foul mood anyway I've scored ran off as I've ran I've like ran towards Jack Stevens who's like on the bench with me I was like which one is it which one is it I was going to obviously give it to him give it to him turn around I'm fucking...

1:23:49The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Oh, no. I'm sorry, man. My head is obviously gone. I'm saying to Simon Hooper, I'm saying, how can I be offside? It's not possible. I've literally kicked it into myself. It's just gone in. They flagged up because my Yoshida, they said, was in... So my head is gone. Anyway, getting after the game, they say, oh, can we have an interview with you? And I'm like, yeah, okay, fine. But I'm talking like we are now. Now, you know what it's like in their media? It's only small, isn't it? They're talking away and all of a sudden, from nowhere, I start picking up serious pace. I start picking up serious pace.

1:24:24The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No, it's a joke. But then the curtain light comes back and people's heads are just coming around the corner. I just lost it. It just literally was red mist. I just had full red mist of the whole scenario, I think, because the fan pissed me off. I hadn't scored in a couple of games and I was dying for a goal. And then that got disallowed. And I think we were struggling down the bottom end as well. And I just lost the head, mate. I just lost the head. Didn't think nothing of it. I come out, walked to the change room, got shower and change, went to leave. Mark Hughes went, Chas, what have you said?

1:24:53The Cosh Podcast Hosts:And I said, why? He said, oh, they've just said about your interview. I said, well, I've just said about the referee. He said, oh, don't worry about it. I've just backed you the whole way anyway. So he had my back the whole time. But it wasn't until, I say, later on that evening, fucking 20 minutes from being in the car to being out the road, that all my phone is obviously going mad for it. But it was just literally spur of the moment.

1:25:14Charlie Austin:I love it.

1:25:15The Cosh Podcast Hosts:And was it a bad decision? I haven't seen the decision mate

1:25:18Charlie Austin:50-50 don't get him fucking started come across me head he'll let the fuse again I'm like fucking get off

1:25:26The Cosh Podcast Hosts:it come back went in yeah terrible terrible terrible decision people love it though

1:25:32Charlie Austin:it's refreshing isn't it yeah

1:25:34The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I think that was the biggest thing like that's what I got the most out of people was like oh that's it was refreshing because it went through a time when everyone was just so robotic even to the point of now just saying what it was and I just lost the head did you get stung

1:25:48Charlie Austin:fine or

1:25:49The Cosh Podcast Hosts:nothing nothing so I actually didn't say anything I didn't say at Simon Hooper I didn't say he's having one or anything like that I just basically said we're playing the best league in the world they need help officials being let down like they're going about far this and far that and so I never actually said he was lucky yeah I was going to say

1:26:09Charlie Austin:was that completely unintentionally yeah that was the whole

1:26:12The Cosh Podcast Hosts:thing yeah that was the whole thing that was why I could say the whole rant was unintentional. And the reason why I got away from not being punished was because I didn't say Simon Hooper is shit. I didn't say all the lines were shit. I just said they need help. It was a well-calculated argument. Yeah, head loss. Arguments straight to the point. You know what I mean? Yeah, that was it. I've got to hear about your standoff with Tadic over the penalty. Oh, yeah, Europa League. I can't remember it, mate. First game, played Sparta Prague at home. that's what I mean never played in Europe before anything like that I thought I'm at Southampton I'm taking the penalties no I'm taking the penalties ball coming to me I went to like cross it in defender slid in and blocked it I'm pretty sure it wasn't even a pen to be honest that definitely never got old did it

1:26:59Charlie Austin:he didn't know

1:27:00The Cosh Podcast Hosts:he was doing I think I had five in the tunnel so I just picked up the ball he probably took the penalties before I come but he was like I'm here I'm taking the penalties now put the ball down anyway he like come to take the ball I was like what the fuck are you doing he said no I'll take the penalty he's like no mate I'm taking the penalty so I pick the ball up but no Joe please hopped on the on the box and everything there I put the ball down he's like having none of it but Virg was the captain come and just like pushed him like pushed him away and then I scored the pen and they come over and like celebrated at the end but it was like full we was having a full Mexican standoff mate 10 minutes into Europa League we were not backing down no I had the ball mate and every time I put the ball down and I'd stand there like waiting and then he would come here next minute I was like fucking shielding I was shielding the ball on a penalty spot no the ball goes down like 94th minute it's wasted winning 1-0 you'll also hold the ball in the corner I'm doing that 10 minutes into your Open League game for the fucking penalty spot yeah I was having none of it I wasn't backing down I said no I'm taking the penalty luckily I scored yeah luckily I scored and then I scored two in the first half so it kind of just buried down And then every game going forward, Claude Puel put a finger up, just like penalty taker, number one, Charlie Austin, number two, Dusan Tadic.

1:28:18The Cosh Podcast Hosts:So then that was it. I don't think he'd ever seen anything like it before.

1:28:23Charlie Austin:So was it addressed immediately after?

1:28:25The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No, probably the next day in the afternoon in the meeting. But he put it out, he was like, we can't have this no more.

1:28:41Charlie Austin:We're here at one of the Flagstip stores, we're going to go in and have a look and see what it's all about. All of the stuff is locally manufactured, we've got factories in Northern and Republic of Ireland, it just allows for premium quality, quick delivery, all custom team kits. It's not only for the big dogs at the top, grassroots football all the way up. Like you said Chris, the quality is fantastic. O 'Neils themselves have been brilliant for us to work for, haven't they? Yeah. I mean, the lads who are we-sponsoring, me personally from here, they absolutely buzz off it. You can see our kits here.

1:29:23Charlie Austin:Oh aye. In saying that, I would buy that. Could you? Yeah. Not just cos it's hard, I just think it's a really nice stretch. Go from... He's knocked his head off. He's knocked his head off. And don't forget the link is in the description. You can sort your own team out, sort your grassroots team out, and get one of these beauties. Link's in the description for both of them. Massive thanks to O 'Neill's. Head loss.

1:29:53Charlie Austin:This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fruit Snacks. Back to school season can be tough on parents. But choosing a snack you and your kids can both get behind doesn't have to be. Stock up on Welch's Fruit Snacks, made with whole fruit, and now made with no artificial dyes. It's a snack kids already love, and one you can feel good about giving them. Go back to school with Welch's Fruit Snacks, now made with no artificial dyes. Hear that? That's now Crispy and McCrispy Strips meeting creamy Caesar sauce. Sounds extra crispy. Caesar sauce at McDonald's For a limited time Were there other options Than West Brom When you left Southampton No

1:30:42The Cosh Podcast Hosts:There generally weren't Which I was alright with I actually was alright with I turned West Brom down In The start of July I said I don't want to do the championship But I didn't think I'd have the summer that I did With Southampton I was like I don't want to do the and then they just come back in I was like let's just do it I think it was more down to the finances at the time I was like I don't want to lose I don't want to drop off the money that I'm on yeah to be fair West Brom were good so was Southampton like in the end and that was it I just agreed the deal and got two years big slav

1:31:21Charlie Austin:to be fair if you look at the squad yeah you think that was the thing as well

1:31:25The Cosh Podcast Hosts:do you know what I mean that was that was the thing I looked at the squad I wouldn't have went there if if that wasn't the squad we had. We went there and we had, you know, Gareth Barry was still there, Frunty was there, Jake Livermore was there, Kyle Bartley, Sam Johnson was a goal and then we signed the lad, Mateus Pereira. Obviously no one had heard about. And Tony come, he was just fucking unbelievable. Was he? He was unbelievable, mate. Like, I think he ended up with 20, I want to say he ended up with 20 assists and about 16 goals. I think the only person to beat him like on that from midfield was Adele in that season when they went out with QPR I think he he was the only ones that's above him like in the season he was phenomenal where's he at now?

1:32:09The Cosh Podcast Hosts:he went to Saudi then he was went all the way back to Brazil I think he come just made his dough but he was good in the Premier League like the following one so he was good so we had a solid team Kieran Gibbs played at the left back so he's a solid team and a couple of good youngsters through their academy that played and again if If COVID didn't happen and it wasn't that break, we'd have pissed the league. When we come back from COVID, we were in shambles.

1:32:35Charlie Austin:Were you ever in doubt dropping out of the top two?

1:32:37The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, it went right to the end. Did it? We played, on the Friday, two games to go, we played Huddersfield on the Friday night and lost 2-1. And Brentford played Stoke on the Saturday, early kickoff. But if they'd won, they'd went a point in front of us or two points in front of us, something like that. They lost 1-0. Keeper made out of a save like right at the end tipped around the post. So we're like, we're still in our hands. We've got QPR on the Wednesday and they've got Barnsley like the same thingy. That's when Barnsley scored late on, isn't it? To stay up. We're watching it. We're watching it.

1:33:12The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Barnsley won 2-0 against Brentford and we drew 2-0. So our game had finished and we're like, we've upped it. As much as we knew Barnsley were winning 1-0, we was like, we've upped it. And then the whistle like went and that was it said we'd we'd gone up and it was but it was a weird feeling again like you're in the stadium it was just the players and the staff on the pitch do you know what I mean just waiting around and that was even like after we went to the hotel and had a few beers after I remember getting back in the car at half six in the morning drove back home

1:33:44Charlie Austin:was there any I mean you've got promoted but you've kind of limped over was there any of that fell over mate yeah fell over not limping

1:33:52The Cosh Podcast Hosts:fell over I remember saying to Slab like in this is in COVID in a meeting and this was this was actually the Saturday morning so we played Huddersfield on the Friday it was in Saturday morning for like McCaffrey or whatever then we was off and back on Monday and we was in a meeting and I said it's your fault in front of everyone I looked back and probably shouldn't have said I knew what I was saying but it definitely didn't came out the wrong way it definitely came out of my way didn't get lucky this time so basically what I was saying was I said it's your fault you've shit yourself you've got nervous which he did and you could see as it was going on.

1:34:25The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Problem is, it's filtered into the staff and then it's filtered into the players. As much as you have that squad, we couldn't string wins together. I think in the 10 games of the club, I think we only won three games. And I said, you've made us all shit ourselves. How did it go down? And he didn't, it went like a lead balloon. And then... I don't think he could have gone any other way, really. Because the whole, everyone's in this meeting. It wasn't just me and him talking. It was like everyone in there. so I've obviously confronted him and then I've had to ring him after like Stoke beat Brentford I rang him I just thought I have to ring him I just rang him just like look it's great but I didn't mean anything how it come across I just we've basically fucked it and now we've been given another lifeline because Stoke beat Brentford you're just waiting for a bit of backup from the room aren't you for me

1:35:15Charlie Austin:zero mate absolutely zero but I don't think

1:35:19The Cosh Podcast Hosts:it was that mate I think it was more this Geoff I think it was keep going pick up the pairs zero back up that was it and then we played QPR and obviously fell over the line and that was it another promotion so it was only for that did he remember it or did he I didn't play on the fucking Wednesday put it out I didn't play on a Wednesday I think it'd come on for like 10 minutes how was your relationship

1:35:45Charlie Austin:other than that

1:35:48The Cosh Podcast Hosts:fine it was fine it was good it was probably only until pre-season come and it fucking all happened again. He didn't want me. So I was like, it's fine, I've got another year left and I'm earned a decent dose so I ain't going. I was like, I'm 32 at the time so I ain't going anywhere. Then they tried to sell me, they only wanted me to go to Derby and Rooney was there. I was like, I ain't going to Derby because that was that fucking Pepe, someone was in charge. So I ain't going because he's getting a sack and he's going to stop playing and he's going to be the manager. And I was like, I ain't going.

1:36:21The Cosh Podcast Hosts:in football you could see that was a scenario if I've got the sack he was the next if you're playing with him it's a bit different but he can be on the sidelines so I was like no I ain't going he rang me as well and was like you come Derby and I was like no I'm not coming because this is what I think is going to happen and obviously I was fortunate it did and then I didn't play I was out the squad for like six games and that was a disaster for me like we had fully gone and what would you be like if you had did go I was just to drink I wouldn't I wouldn't like one of them where it's like I've got to be in the gym and I've got to do this I was just like no way same with injuries and that I just couldn't deal with not being in that match day routine or travelling away or the home games I couldn't not be in that having that routine of just doing that day to day stuff so I always just fucking ran away and that was sounds terrible I used to always just end up having a few pints that was like my escape.

1:37:20Charlie Austin:Would you go back to your mates at home?

1:37:23The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I would travel from here to West Brom, yeah, from here two hours every day. Loose guess, how many fags is Slavin having a day? Oh, Jesus Christ. I remember going into his room, into his office probably like two weeks in. So it was a half of this room and he'd have the door in there that was open. I think it's like a smoke machine was going there. And poor old Jill, the secretary lady had an office just off her. She didn't smoke, but she definitely ended up smoking 50 a day. She definitely smoked 50 a day, and then i just got back then i got back in just because of a couple of injuries how i got injured and then i went on a friday training he was coming to the gym and was like before training have you got your traveling stuff i thought no what have i got that for and he like left and the kit man comes out i'll charge you in the squad like got you all the or your kit and that was in and then i then i just got back in then then he got fucking then we played man city away and we ain't won we haven't won like two or three games or something like that prem we were struggling and go to the Etihad we draw a one-all there on the bus back he's been sacked we used to travel on two buses staff would go on one players would go on the other all the players were getting all the stuff through Sam I was going to get the job Billets has been sacked we trained the next day and he came in and said bye and then he was done gone it was the most weirdest thing going so it was holding up from the weekend they were expecting us to go to the Etihad man city get done six or seven and then literally mate it was like we're on the bus as quickly as we was on the bus it was like 20 minutes later it'd been leaked that he was getting the bullet

1:38:56Charlie Austin:so it was so strange i look at him and i think i really like him village he looks bugger looks knackered all the time yeah

1:39:07The Cosh Podcast Hosts:he was a 60 70 day smoker in mate yeah he loved the bifta him he loved loved the bifta then big Sam come in, it was all right to a degree, but then I just, I could sense it then. It was just time, time to go. QPR asked if I'd go on loan and I was just like, yeah, okay, fine. How old did you get on with Mickey Holland? What a guy, top guy. I got on well with him because he knew Joey. Right. So, so I got on well with him. Yeah, I got on well with him. But he had his favorites like to, who he'd always, always, but he knew everybody. Like he knew everyone, Mick, but nice guy. I got on really well with him.

1:39:42The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah. were you there when he went round on the bike after a defeat no no I was gone I wasn't there but good guy then I went back to QPR and Mark Walburton was in charge when he was there but I I really enjoyed my time with him I thought he was brilliant I thought he was brilliant he didn't have a football background he was a banker he was he was all for the players earning money yeah I loved him like he was all for like he used to you know when you get like team bonus like you get player bonus no one got a bonus all went into a team pot we was getting we was getting big dough win away from home and stuff like that when I went to QPR it was 21st and they had like 19 points and then when I turned up there was me Steffi Hansen from Fulham Sam Field come from West Brom and Jordi DeVease come from Hull I think it was and when the season finished we'd won 15 out of 20 21 and we earned the fortune

1:40:42Charlie Austin:so when you say

1:40:43The Cosh Podcast Hosts:it goes in the team pot does that mean it gets pro-ratted yeah pro-ratted through it yeah everyone got in it was like set bonus you get a home win bonus away win home draw nothing but away draw away win home win everyone just got got weighed in pro-ratted so when the season finished we made a fortune fucking lovely yeah it was lovely but he was he was a nice guy but then when it ended then it went through the QPR bit then because we'd done so well everyone had the expectation of we'd be fighting to get promoted but I kind of forget that the championship is still tough right that's what it is and then the fans all come back in and it just didn't materialise in that way then that's when it comes to a head when I just fell out with Les did he come in as

1:41:25Charlie Austin:directly

1:41:26The Cosh Podcast Hosts:yeah that was the first time I was there but he definitely got appointed just to keep the fans on the side I don't care what he's an idiot I've heard him speak about he's an idiot just someone I didn't really get on with and pushed it over the line I was like I say I was 32, 33 when I was done there like he said we're not going to offer you anything I was like fine but what done me was when he asked me if I was going to retire and I thought you cheeky bastard who are you to ask me what I'm now we're done you're not going to offer me any money just like two days before the season finished who are you to come and ask me that it's got absolutely nothing to do with you I was like no I'm still going to play I think

1:42:06The Cosh Podcast Hosts:it was all round I think physically mentally where I was at what I bringing to the team but i just thought i was bringing way more to the club than than the whole dressing room off i know it's not always about off the field on the field yeah off the field i was bringing way much more than than everyone else and then i was done and and that was it i've not spoke to him since i've been a couple of golf days with him every time i walk in the room he fucking leaves i think you shitbag yeah i've heard him speak about that yeah he just he just wasn't for me mate and then that was it and then the Australia thingy happened went there come back like I spoke back before it was what it was done 18 months at Swindon but when I come back from there that was when I knew it was time and I was delighted that the decision I made last summer that step back from the full time was a correct one

1:42:57Charlie Austin:how was it with Jordy Morris

1:43:00The Cosh Podcast Hosts:what do you have to ask me about him do you know what it was I got on well with a chairman he come in I felt for him a little bit because when he'd come to Swindon obviously they showed him the ground but didn't show him the training ground training ground I let you send that so you'd be in there having your lunch or whatever and then both sat in the same with you because they'd just been playing walking football in the tennis courts do you know what I mean he couldn't get his head around even the first day he'd give his boots to like the kit man I was like I'll put them in the boot room and he's like I had no boot room here mate just put in the fucking metal skips yeah like they didn't have a and it was just he was what he'd obviously experience for all the years at Chelsea very different he's very different he should have known that anyway but we just didn't see eye to eye really just didn't see eye to eye at all and he was a bit he used to curve away from certain scenarios and I remember being at Crew Away it was a day before and he said Chaz like next year I want you really to work with me and Ed Brandy was like this isn't like be on the coach not play as much I'm sat here listening to talk and thinking you silly fucker I've got another year mate I'm playing.

1:44:09The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Like, I'm playing. You don't have a clue. And then he got sacked two days later after he played crew and he got the bullet. Yeah, he was only there three, four months. Were you club captain at this? Yeah, I was club captain at the time. But we'd train and then by the time you'd come off the training pitch, he was leaving. So his heart definitely wasn't in it. Regardless of whatever the setup was, he wasn't in there. And I was club captain. I was like, mate, I'll speak to the chairman, the board, and that. You just... this ain't going to work for you. And then when he left, it was just, there's only games to go.

1:44:43The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Then Gav Gunning come in charge. And it was just, in the end, it become like a job for the mates. So I think that was the thing.

1:44:51Charlie Austin:It must have been nice, though, to go that full circle. And then, like you said, the influence that it had on you going forward and the influence you could have.

1:45:00The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I ended up finishing off 50-plus goals. So that was a nice one to go to 50-mile. for them and just it was positive I think Swindon paid 50 grand for me to pull and sold me one and a half million to Burnley I paid my dues fully on that side but it was nice just to cap it all off yeah

1:45:21Charlie Austin:where does that goal rank the I can't remember if you're Chester or touch it for QBR I'm saying

1:45:29The Cosh Podcast Hosts:against Southampton yeah right for left foot it's easy to say it's a favourite one but don't ever ask me to replicate everything you know what I mean so it was a phenomenal one that would be probably the best goal I'd scored yeah definitely I scored a couple of long ranges but that would be the best one where I just touched it I remember trying to replicate it three or four times didn't get anywhere near it did you have a little dance after it as well was it no just full slide no that was a good when I'd done a dance this is how mad like the whole I scored against like when I think about all the whole career we played Man City at half five on a Saturday and I'd done an interview with Tubes like before and he said, if you score, you do a chicken dance.

1:46:09The Cosh Podcast Hosts:I was like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were playing Man City, right? Anyway, I'd scored but I was like, offside. Not tight, I was offside, right? So I was kind of in that way. Then Joe Hart takes a free kick but kicks it twice. Plants his left foot, nudges it forward and then kicks it to me. I have a touch and wallop it in. Next time, I'm full chicken dancing over in the corner. Lionel's waving his flag like what's going on and I was like what's going on here and it was only till like after he said yeah you kicked it twice so he got to take it again but then I eventually scored and then done it so basically I scored a first half aperture against Man City but only one count and two chicken dances two chicken dances yeah so when I think back it was just mad

1:46:59Charlie Austin:what were you like were you if you scored three but you lost 4-3 were you happy? Drew 3-3

1:47:06The Cosh Podcast Hosts:No here we go here we go this we played this when Jodie was in charge we played Rochdale versus Swindon I scored 4 and we drew 4-0 I fucked up for the 4th goal I was front post man and cross come in and Ian Henderson got in front of me and scored and I actually come in and apologised to the lads I come in and was like sorry lads that's on me and they was like fuck off like no what you're on about but I did like But I felt bad. It was not because I've... Amazing, I scored four, right? But he scored like 95th minute equaliser and I was like, for fuck's sake, that held me hands up, that was on me.

1:47:46Charlie Austin:But have you been somebody else on front post? No, if I killed him.

1:47:50The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Do you know what I mean? But it was just, that was the scenario. When you set the four, scoring goals is what it is. At that point, that was my fault, yeah. That was my fault. Still playing? Still playing. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I like the non-league bit because I can dip my toe in when I want to. My little man plays now and I like being involved in that, messing about with him, going to watch him. I think that's the next best thing that I can really do.

1:48:16Charlie Austin:And what do you see as being the next?

1:48:19The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Honestly, well, after the figure you just told me what I'm reportedly worth, nothing. I don't know at the moment. I honestly don't know. Something will crop up that I'll do. I certainly ain't going back to carrying bricks. So definitely, I certainly ain't doing that. But for now, I just see what happens. I'm in a fortunate position where I can just, I can be relaxed a little bit. Yeah, and working out. Apprehensive but exciting times. Yeah, what I want to do is like the next, well, as much as that football side is now closed, it's what the next chapter is going to bring. But I'm in a good place now where I can just look back at what I've done and very fortunate, but now look forward to what the next lot brings.

1:48:59The Cosh Podcast Hosts:The scope for a collaboration with Blur, I reckon. F**k life.

1:49:04Charlie Austin:F**k right off. Do you get targeted when you're playing in the league? Yeah.

1:49:10The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, I did a few times, but I always remember there's a bloke that was in charge at Hungerford at the time, Alan Clark, his name is. Lovely bloke. He always used to say to a fellow called Jamie Gosling, tackle on your own terms. So I was like, right. So I just used it in my head. When we play, you can hear him coming, can't you? Fucking red mist coming out of his old boy's ear, I was trying to boot me. So I just let the ball go. and I was very fortunate a few times that I didn't but then I used to say to a mate I used to play non-league so I know I've got no problem sticking one on you like I've got no one that right back takes an every touch I've got no problem on them muddy pitches do you know what I mean sliding down there and that no but it's just I enjoy it and like I say it still keeps you involved in that football sense but with not as much the serious side of it do you know yeah so now it's just what will be will be I was very fortunate just to live what we all dreamed of and that was it and that was a bit fucking every that one but and we played in the best position because we got all the fucking glory let's be honest we got all the glory well some of us did no one again

1:50:22Charlie Austin:it's all down to fucking Billy Painter yeah it's all down to Bill cheers Bill cheers cheers Thank you very much. Cheers. Next time, under the cosh. I just remember one of the guys, I skipped round Rio Ferdinand,

1:50:38The Cosh Podcast Hosts:smashed it into the top corner. Carlton Palmer had just left, so I was seen as his replacement. I was loads better than him, by the way.

1:50:46Charlie Austin:Vinnie Jones, he clotheslined me just as I was trying to run past him. Just whack, I was holding my neck for flipping five minutes after that. Some fucker had nicked my car. Honestly Dino, Jesus Christ, you can't shut him up. It might have been me that grasped him. We couldn't believe what we were watching. Oh Patrick! Doesn't matter whether you're shit or not, but if you're giving everything, they'll forgive you. I was single-ish mate.

1:51:12The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Yeah, it was the Enkelman one when it went on to his foot.

1:51:15Charlie Austin:Oh, the throw-in.

1:51:16The Cosh Podcast Hosts:Did you touch it? Did you touch it? I don't know. I don't know. I'm woof it and all that. Desperate to play for England, but with that bunch, you've got no chance, have you really? Especially the likes of Lamps who's scoring goals for fun.

1:51:35I see you.

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