Friday Club | Best of 2025

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29:44Get ready to save big with up to 60 % off Rag & Bone, Mark Jacobs, Free People, and more. How did I not know Rack has Adidas? Because there's always something new. Join the Nordy Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favourite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. I've been having a big clear out in the garage recently and I've decided I needed a little bit of extra storage. I didn't want to shed, so I thought an outdoor storage box would be ideal for the kids' toys and things like that. I like a bargain, so I thought I'd take a look on eBay first, but there was nothing local.

30:29I then went to Vinted, but nothing really on there either, so I then decided to have a look on Gumtree. You ever been on Gumtree? You know, I've never done a look like that. Is it like eBay? I think so, but it's like Facebook Marketplace, that kind of stuff. You come around and pick up some old shit, see if you can get a few quid for it. I've got a story on this, actually. remind me at the end. I hadn't used Gumtree before so I thought so I had to set up an account first after a couple of minutes of viewing the adverts bingo my luck was in someone was selling one a few miles away and for a steal at 40 quid happy days I messaged the seller on the Gumtree app seeing if I could come and collect a few minutes later I received a reply from a bloke named Vladimir.

31:22He gave me his address and said it had to be collected tomorrow evening. This worked well for me so 5pm the following day was pencilled in. I arrived at Vladimir's on time, a nice house in a nice area. I knocked on the door but there was no answer. I gave it a minute and knocked again. Still no answer. I didn't have his phone number and he didn't have mine. I peered through the glass on the door. The house seemed to be empty so I walked back to my car wondering what to do. Moments later I heard the front door go. A very apologetic Vladimir explained to me that he's hard of hearing and thinks he might need hearing aids.

32:11he walked me round the side of the house and showed me his box it was in good nick so I happily handed over the 40 pound and he helped me carry it to my car it was a tight fit but after dropping down the back seats we just about squeezed it in in broken borat style English Vladimir said he was moving back to Slovakia tomorrow and had a few other things to sell if I was interested. As I love a bargain I said I'd have a look. He opened the garage door and it was like the world's worst car boot sale. There was an old microwave, a desk, four dining room chairs, a tub of golf balls, an ironing board plus a load of other old tat.

32:59Now here's the thing, I didn't need any of it and I didn't want any of it but despite those facts I surprised myself by saying how much do you want for the chairs and the ironing board

33:17Vladimir's eyes lit up and replied 30 quid I again surprised myself by blurting out yeah go on then I'll have them however I knew they wouldn't fit in my car. I said to Vladimir if you get the buzz at the end of the road towards town with the chairs and the ironing bullet you'll be at my house in about 15 minutes. All the buzzes that go past go near my house. I'll pay you the buzz fare and drive you back afterwards. He was happy with the arrangement and I added if you get off when you see the white lion at the Tesco Express on the left hand side I'll meet you in the car park there this will give me a chance to drop off the box at home then I'll come and collect the chairs and ironing board from you and we'll drop them off at mine and then I'll run you back home afterwards I think my hand signs helped Vladimir as he replied sounds like a good plan let's do it so off we went on the short 50 yard walk up the street to the bus stop me carrying the ironing board Vladimir with the chairs I gave him a two pound coin for the buzz fur and told him I'll get the 30 quid at the cash point at Tesco.

34:30I gave him the nod and said I'll see you shortly. I walked back to my car and waited for the buzz to turn up. About five minutes later one arrived, a busy one. I then took my car window and gave Vladimir the thumbs up, the universal seal of approval to get on the buzz. He got on slowly, chair by chair irritating passengers and the driver there appeared to be an awkward exchange with the driver but but vladimir made his way on board budging and shuffling folk along their way i watched as the buzz pulled away with vladimir holding on to the ironing board like life depended on it and started to feel guilty very very guilty the story could go on but it doesn't it ends there there is no white lion pub and there's no Tesco Express

35:28when I came down from laughing I deleted I deleted my Gumtree account deleted the app started my entry and set off home the total opposite direction to the buzzing point sorry Vladimir I don't know why I did this I'm a 39 year old father I really should grow up It just felt like an open goal Needless to say I won't be going to Slovakia any time soon On a positive note the storage box looks great in my garden Best 42 quid I ever spent Cheers Bargain Barry That's a shambles It's up there with me favourite That's a shambles right up there that's fucking scandalous what an absolute fucking Roger Hunt that's just opportunist isn't it giving him thumbs up at all you know what he's going off all the time Carmen will come round and he'll get fucking he'll get both barrels for that legends getting on a busy bus with the chairs.

36:47See, if that's one of my pals, it's brilliant. But not just some random Slovenian.

36:58Right, I'm going in. I bought a pair of tits and never touched them. Hey up, lads. Please keep this anonymous. I'll save you the blah, blah, blahs and get straight to the story. Sorry if it's a bit of a long one, but need to give some context first. I'm 43 now and happily settled down, but wanted to see what you would have done in this same scenario. When I was 26 and in the prime of my life, I decided to jump on the early versions of the dating apps. Just looking to get an easy shag. Honestly, honestly, like it. Yeah. Almost straight away I matched with an absolute 10 out of 10. I'd say I was a 7 maybe and couldn't believe this beauty wanted anything to do with me.

37:50Again, very honest. Let's call this lovely lady Tits McGee. She was mixed race, amazing body and absolutely stunning. She was a ring girl and a part-time model. What the fuck did she see in me? Anyway, she suggested meeting. I couldn't believe it when I walked in. She was real and I wasn't being catfished. The date went great, but no, how's your father? Until we got to the fifth date. He's put the work in. Looks good as well. Although he is just looking for... Yeah, if he's just wanting his leg over, it's not great. But if they're fit. Worth waiting for, John. It's a few quid. I preserved and on date five we went back to hers.

38:42Persevered? It says yeah persevered preserved. Put her in clean film.

38:54Vacuum pack. They've still not found her. I persevered and on date five we went back to hers when I noticed a few kids toys in the living room. Asking why she had them she admitted to having two young kids. How she'd get out of the conversation on dates one to four, I'll never know. Soundbar me though, this wasn't going to be a long-term thing, or so I thought. But you'll learn that she's good at keeping secrets. Fast forward almost a year and we're going strong. I've met the kids, I'm absolutely smitten. In love and we are pretty much living together. One day, the conversation got deep and was around her feeling unhappy with her body.

39:36and she mentioned a boob job. We got there eventually, yeah? But that she couldn't afford it. To me, she was perfect. She knew I had a few quid saved up for a deposit for my first house and stupidly, because I didn't know what was to come and knowing new tits would take her beyond a 10, offered to loan her the money to get them done. Confident she'd pay me back. all consultations done i needed to pay 500 pound up front and the remainder shortly before the op this is where the problem started she started being off with me and argument started we'd barely bickered at this point i was now seeing her once a week or twice a week and with the date for surgery approaching i was having second thoughts about the relationship and lumping money on this but my dick decided to plow ahead.

40:32Oh, come on. Did he give a breakdown of cost? Wait a minute. A couple of weeks before the operation I had to pay the remaining£3 ,000. You said for three and a half? Three and a half on your set of tits. It was a Friday and after speaking to Tits McGee and getting assurances about our relationship I decided to pay. She seemed really happy and I was buzzing to see them. Damn right she's really happy. The same day I paid. I had a night out planned, she lives close to town and we'd agreed to go back after After the good night with the lads I was ready for a kebab and getting back to McGee's house I called Tits McGee around 11 to say I was on my way but no answer Four, five calls later, still no answer I thought she must have fallen asleep, was about to get a cab back to my parents house And try calling one last time Who's this?

41:24came screaming down the phone only it wasn't Mrs. Tits nope another fella's voice raging down the phone at me who the fuck is this I said it's Tits McGee's boyfriend

41:39I'm presuming he used a name it's Tits McGee's boyfriend as you can imagine I'm ready to crack someone's skull that's fucking news to me pal I'm her boyfriend and I've just paid for her tits doing the phone hung up I must have called back a hundred times with no answer. She lived five minutes walk from town absolutely in bits but raging. I decided to go to her house. The house was in darkness when I got there. She clearly was at the other fella's gaff. Not knowing what to do, still not getting an answer and needing to get the rage out of me I decided to put every window through in her house. Oh, hey, oh.

42:19What do you think, that's out of order? Not my greatest moment, I admit, but did help at the time. I'm not violent or aggressive, but finding out that the missus was cheating on me the same day I had paid out my house deposit money for a pair of tits. It tipped me over the edge. The next day, I had still not spoken to her and decided to call the surgery to call off the tit operation. They couldn't cancel it. Only the patient could. Oh, no. Eventually, speaking to Tits McGee, she admitted to seeing this fella for three months and said we were done. No shit. She wouldn't cancel, and even if she did, the money was gone because it was non-refundable.

43:04Oh. Okay, now. She had the tits done the next week. I never got to look at them, never mind touch the fuckers. The snake had done me for three and a half grand. Oh, no. Only thing he smashed his conservatory window. And left me broken hearted. I had a choice at this point, lads. Sulk and cry for mums or pull my big boy pants up. Write off the money and treat it as a lesson learnt and get on with life. I decided to pull them up and got on with life. For the next three years, I was a bit of a dick with women. And shagged anything that breathed until finally settled down. Years later, I heard the boob job went wrong for Mrs.

43:47McGee. Put him on her back. which brought me great pleasure until I was also told she got them done again alongside 10k oh my god wait a minute until I was also told she got them done again alongside 10k in compo she'd come out of this shit smelling of roses again it's gone wrong she's got them done again for free and 10 grand in her back pocket and all to be fair moving straight on was the best decision I made and I've definitely learnt from it. Turns out she actually did me a favour and I dodged a bullet. She's now got five kids to three dads. Was it worth three and a half grand to be the first mug to fall for this horrible cunt burglar out there?

44:33I reckon so. What would you have done, lads, if you were me? Sulked, moved on or revenge? Any yugs lads listening out there, don't sulk if you'll meet a snake like Tits McGee. There's plenty more out there the cunts are few and far between. Just get back on the bike, lads. It's character building. Mic drop. P.S. Parky, you might know her. She's the same age as us and this was in a village near Barnsley. All the best. Viewer and listener since the start. Keep up the good work up the cosh. Do you know her? I don't know. Tell you what good words of wisdom at the end there. Yeah. Can we email him back?

45:10See if I know her. That's heavy, isn't it? See, what are you doing? What are you doing if you're him? putting the windows through yeah and I'd be happy there yeah and leaving it or depends on how many windows are you just taking that on the chin no somebody in me are going you shit house yeah you absolute shit house I think I'm darting her what the tits no darting her busting them popping them busting them you know like they're doing with a blow dart have that bastard from a distance Yeah, I have that bastard.

45:51I'll be not happy until all that silicon's down by your toes. I like that sound.

46:00Down, one side. I think you'll see you hiding some bushes. With all the mud on, you can camouflage. Gilly suit, the duck on his head. I just think that is unbelievable. Is there people out there like that? Of course there is. Well, to be fair, I probably think she's... I don't think she's... I don't know if she's gone into it like that, but then, obviously, in the process, when he said yes, she's thought, oh, it's the ticket, this, and then met somebody in the meantime. In time, but then strung him along because she knows he's picking up the bill. And then, so it's been going on three months, and the final balance is due.

46:40She still had the audacity to go to him and well she's just said no he's got to pay well yeah oh yeah she has hasn't she no one find well that she's left them in her head for somebody else oh my goodness he's a fair player he's um it's cost her a couple of grand with windows on it would you say it's like playing with insurance wouldn't she yeah true but yeah I think I think I'm darting practicing at home in the backyard I mean what balloons on a dartboard I mean he says he's 43 now so this is 43 26 36 17 years ago this yeah so there is a good chance that you're going to know this yeah well email him back see if I know her they'll be drooping now won't they do the droop she'll be doing you all set of winter 15 years she's come out six and a half grand in profit as well no she hadn't 10 grand in profit and the new set of tits you know that's what new ones yeah and you can see why yeah what go on i'm just see why she's done it no no no you can see why like he said then he's been stung and then he's not treated women right afterwards and you can You see how it probably works both ways as well.

48:10If women have been treated poorly by men, then they don't trust another man. Yeah. It's kind of a knock-on effect then, isn't it? You'll listen to a different email. At the end, he said he was a dick afterwards. Add it with women. When one's been like that, it affects how you go into your next relationship, doesn't it? I thought you were going to rip that up then. No, no, no, no, no. By the way. Can you email in, please, and let us know a name? I'm just trying to think we're not doing an expose privately Chris when he said I might know her are you going to find out where she lives and get it bushes no I'm not them bugging windows in the back of room that's a Roger Hunt trick that innit that is filth yeah

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49:54Your coach helps clarify your goals, creates a plan, and keeps you accountable along the way. Go to strawberry.me slash career and get 50 % off your first coaching session. That's strawberry.me slash career. I'm just thinking that whether I tell you about the, I like it when this comes. The Vegas. That's a swinging convention. No, but I was thinking about it. So I was 21. And you went in. And I went up. So hold on a minute. Wait, let's just unwrap this. Go on. So when did you, what, were you just walking past? There was a sign outside? No, it was, tell the whole story. It was at the Mandalay Bay, and the swinging convention was in a different hotel, but the wife was late 40s.

50:48Have you met the wife around the pool? Around the pool. Is that your wife? Somebody else's. She came floating over. Floating over. She went dead washing. It was a corpse. Bobby, Bobby. Somebody in their pyjamas have their hand or their chin. I don't think it's Boston Swingers. I think it's Boston's fucking necrophilia. And she said... Is that right, necrophilia? Yeah, shagging dead bodies. She said, there's a swing convention, but we stayed in here. And this is her words, because we've heard there's a lot of young cock. So you were obviously in Vegas with lads. yeah round the pool decent frames and that and she did you say yes there is she pointed to her fella who was just sunbathing and like what a big fella half give us the thumbs up and she said this is my room number will you come up he's that guy over there is going to watch us so there I was so did you have to go to their hotel did you no they were staying there they were staying at Mandalay Bay because of the young cock right and you were that young cock and they were going to the toe into next door telling it as and when they please yeah right so there must be how quick will you dry i drip dried on the way up just a trail just size tens

52:10didn't even wait for straight upstairs so what were the words again the stain at mandalay there there's a lot of young and then he just wanted to watch what's she like this bird nice she was nice fake boobs late 40s I'd say when you say nice are we talking very attractive good chassis a bit like Jenny Farniston like not maybe look like exactly like her but a fit older lady yes fake boobs fake boobs that's what I mean when I say floating over they were floating as she came over what did he do what were her waist like she was slim 8, 10 8 slash six. She was very slim. Oh, right. And he played a blinder, the fella.

53:01He didn't try and get involved. He just sat there. Toby Tank. So she's floated back over to Hank. They said, Hank, I've got a couple. And we've gone up, we're marching up. And give us the room number. Have you walked in? Hold on a minute. I've missed some of you. Us. Well, I'm not going to throw anybody under the bus, Chris. But there was another. Yeah. party young cock plural so how many how many out of the party how many did you float up to four or five and how many went up four or five six

53:48it's exactly the same situation because it was a weird set up Right, so they're up in the room. How long have you been here? To be fair, I half did shit my pants because I didn't go up first. One of the more experienced lads went up first. On his own? On his own. Came back down and went, oh, it's going off up there. Get yourself up. There I was. You're like little lemons running around the pool. Yeah. You've gone up. He's opened the door. Has she opened the door? He's opened the door. He was in the shower. She was getting washed off. He's opened the door. Right, so he's opened the door. You've got a stamp up, Wayne.

54:29What's he got on? Don't worry, them clickers. Them number clickers. I want to say towel. Put your wrist down and your band on. So he's come to the door in the towel. Yeah. Opened the door. Didn't really say much, just retreated back to his corner. Did he give it a nod or a hey? What's his corner? What has he got? They had two double beds. So he had one bed. and the performers were closer than a corner isn't it yeah so he's on bed has he took his towel off when she came out the shower and right so she's come out the shower clothed off dripping yeah she's laid on the bed I thought I'm in a flipping place I don't know what details are you she's laid on the bed are you first in have you got an erection no not at this point no it was a bit awkward weird yeah so is she a lad on the bed yeah she came to join us on the bed what were all five of six of you on the bed no no the lads had cleared the lads had been that's why she was having a shower so some lads had been oh she's having a half time refreshment yeah oh so all five you're not in there no not at the same time oh right I thought it was were you doing shuttle runs one in one out it's like being at jim again tagging all the way out It wasn't as like military as that, but the lads would come and go.

55:55She just washed her fanny out. And then, so you're on the bed. She's joined you on the bed. Started kissing you? I don't think there's any kissing. No, I think that's a rule, isn't it? No kissing. Yeah, there was no kissing. He knows that she's had some cock in him. What's he doing while all this is going on? He's gone. I would do what you did, but he's gone for the laid down, but should I do it? I'll get up. This table's getting some action. Fucking cheating. Oh, so much as... Oh, my word. So is he fully erect? So is he not... Nah, because he plays the long game. So are you the last one in? No, I think there was a couple after me.

56:50There was a couple waiting outside.

56:55It's like guessing. 27, 28. It's like guessing, but the gas is waiting outside to get his cane because he's got fags in his pocket. Oh, dear. Look at you now, Brownie. Get it up. Wow. Mental. So you've jumped on. Mm-hmm. How long did it go on for? Are you just wanting to... I think I just wanted to experience it. Yeah, I didn't go for any pleasure. But are you just thinking? Is this before the swingers convention? I don't know if it hadn't started yet. Just a prelude. What's in your mind? Are you just wanting to get your shot off and shoot your bolt as quick as possible? I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't.

57:37Didn't even get a shot off. Just an experience. I just wanted to get up there and soak up the atmosphere. Good on me on. I just want to experience making love to a mid-40s American situation. Why are us when what? I suppose we'll have fellas on that pose with a tummy. But it was mental. How do you leave? With a spring in his step. Thanks. I think I might have said thanks. Thanks. Thanks for your time. Have you gone and shake? I've gone and shake. To both? I don't know. I can't remember. Thanks for your time. I can't remember the mind of the deal. Good luck on the edge. Good luck on the tables.

58:16Just see the pool. Try the veal. I will never forget Bobbing over. Brilliant.

58:29We're going to need a bigger boat. We're going to need some younger cock. Wow. I like that story. Yeah, it was good. See, now you put it like that. and what age John can you get where I'm coming from when I just wanted to experience I know I get you yeah because I wouldn't say I was like massively turned on or anything what position did you go for I think I went on my back oh really did you ever side glance well that's how I've seen him I know but how often have you just looked once it's kind of in the peripheral you kind of see him do you ever think I'm not seeing it now. Wheelbarrow. No. And then just taking her out.

59:16And him going, WAAA!

59:21Yeah. But from his perspective. Oh, he was happy as Larry. He was happy. I can't get on board with that. Has he got a Bud Light at all? Is he having a drink? Yeah. You've got to keep hydrated. The thing is, he was a good looking fella as well. Yeah. In your head, you're probably thinking, she was fit, he was old and secretive. Like a Texan. I'm imagining like a Texan oilman. You know what I mean? He was a handsome fella. With his white step-stone and nothing else. This might not make the cup, by the way. Hey, fuck him. It is. Craig, make that go missing the last 10. If he's got his arm there and he's got his hand on his cot, his arm there, can he drink at the same time?

1:00:00It was a lazy toss. He wasn't doing it with any venom. It was just like getting a go and enjoying the view. He's not thinking you're wanting to ejaculate then. No. he's probably got next battalion probably

1:00:16this one less of a would you rather and more of a would you risk it we've got a lad at work mid-twenties who will throw random questions out in the office this can be anything from who your five dinner party guests would be to what is the biggest animal you think you could beat in a fight FYI I reckon I could take a giraffe quick two footer tackle to those peaty crouch legs and the fuck was going down like the twin towers a quick headlock after an ouch spindle legs will be tapping out in no time speak about that for a minute biggest animal you could take out can you choose the venue if you want blue whale hot beach give us a venue then could you fight a horse no Wow.

1:01:09Fucking strong as fuck, aren't they? Yeah, no, but I think you could, I think, like one of them. What, a sly punch from behind? No, what's that? A hook. I think a hook to the side. Nah, but then. I think it's just getting the old, and then stamping on you. Yeah, I don't reckon you're taking that off. I think, I think, it's not a bad shout, to be fair. I think you struggle with a Rottweiler. Hmm. An Alsatian. What's massive and soft? Panda. Not that big, though. Or a panda. No, that's a baby panda. An actual panda is a big piece of kit. I'm just trying to think of an everyday animal that we see.

1:01:50Will we plant our chances against a sheep? A deer? No, I think a sheep... I could take a sheep. I'm telling you, I can fucking take a sheep. I'm telling you, a sheep is bucking if it catches you with them oofs. If you get on top of it... Oh, Ray. I'll tell you what, then. Ray, let's have a bit of sheep wrestling. I'm telling you, you couldn't take a sheep down. No, once he's down, John, the ground and pound. I'm telling you, you could not take a sheep out. You've got to think about energy levels as well. I reckon I could take a cow out. They're docile, aren't they? The big pieces of kit. Shot tactics.

1:02:24Headlock. I think this is one of the most ridiculous things we've ever spoke about. You can't take a sheep down. I'm telling you, you're not taking a fucking sheep down. I would kick the shit out of a sheep and a cow. Nah, too far, cow. No chance. Sheep's only that big, John. Right, then. Next time we're driving over at Tops, we'll get up at 22. We'll go up Saddleworth. I bet you can't catch a sheep and get it in your boot. No. You don't have to catch it. You don't have to kidnap it. You've just got to twat it. Just hit it once. You can hit any animal once, can't you? If it's just stood there.

1:02:59Beat it in a fight. I'm telling you you couldn't beat a sheep in a bait what I can't understand why you think you couldn't beat a sheep like you're in a you're in a mesh fence ring so are you thinking they're too quick and you won't catch it or something no in a small ring you couldn't beat you couldn't beat a sheep why you'll start fucking bucking out and kicking out how are you going to grab it then when you grapple it and get it on deck oh my god who are we talking to are you fucking I hate Dax. What about like a kick? Kung fu kick? You kick a kung fu kick a sheep? Yeah. I'm telling you, it's not going down.

1:03:39What? You won't kick it stunned. Have you got the right animal here? Yeah. You know, big fluffy thing. Big fluffy. I think you're actually fucking trying to wind me up here, aren't you? You don't think you could take a sheep? No. I honestly fancy my chances with a cow. Nah, that's fucking ridiculous, man. What are they going to do? well they're just big yeah if it sits on you if it lays on you you're fucked aren't you you're dead no I can take a guess so why are you going to a bit of training mate oh I've seen it online cow training cow fighting training yeah 60 pound an hour I can't believe you couldn't fill a sheep in well I'll tell you what then if I can absolute pussy if I can sauce a sheep if I can sauce a sheep will you have a rest for me yeah Yeah.

1:04:29100%. Right, sound. I'll get one at wedding. We're doing a bit sheep facing. Can I be plus one? It ain't got a Mrs. sheep, has it? If it's got a Mr. sheep, she can't come. Yeah, John, come on, man. You can fill a sheep in. All right, sound. I'm thinking maybe a ferret. What? Bite ferrets, you know. I know, yeah. How big are they? Oh, ferrets. Oh, not that big. If a ferret latches on, you're in fucking bother. Yeah. What about one? Would one punch not? He's done it. Yeah. You say no to horse and no to sheep. I can't believe he. Yeah. He said some silly things in his time, hadn't he? He can't. I haven't even finished his fucking email yet.

1:05:09I'm just going to see how much it is to buy a live sheep.

1:05:15Better might have an issue with it. The price of a live sheep varies widely, but prices typically range from about$45 to$50 for an orphan lamb, to 129 to 250 for a cull you or breeding you not a breeding one because it would be feisty wouldn't it which is the hardest the breeding one just a fluffy one we're on cull you right will the jumper one so it's only going to cost me 250 quid I'll chip in fight to the death it's going to cost me 250 quid to prove to you how fucking utterly ridiculous you've been right Well, it's going to cost me$500, isn't it? Because if you'll kill first, this is going to be dear, isn't it, when he faces it?

1:06:06Come on, what are we saying? Well, I'm going horse, but... Small dog, cat. Come on, John. You're a 20-stone man. Well, realistic then. You think sheep's realistic? I think sheep's realistic. I think horse is doable. Doable. I ain't going to answer for you Are you thinking like Pomeranian? That kind of size I reckon I could not fuck out of her Percy

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