Friday Club | Best of 2025 Part 2

29:52The contradictions, the stories that didn't add up, the short notice. Work conferences with an overnight stay chucked in. Looking and sounding shifty. Dropping in the same name a little too often. He knows, but he doesn't know how to address it. Yeah. You know when they say, you just know, I did. But I kept my mouth shut. I knew if I went two-footed, I'd get the waterworks and somehow I'd end up sleeping in the spare room, apologising for having a suspicious mind. So I waited, I sat deep, like Big Sam at the Etihad. I bided my time, waited and waiting for the inevitable mistake. Is that what it needs?

30:39The dart. The dart, right through her fucking eyes. Get the dart gun out. You can use a finger then for opening a phone or a face. Once she's unconscious with darts. Oh, so you're going more to knock her out as opposed to kill her? Yeah, yeah, we're not killing her yet. You don't even know yet. You're assuming. Dying the neck. Face. A mate I hadn't seen in ages text me out the blue. I didn't know you'd split up with Steph, mate. I've just spotted her out in Bristol with another fella. Bristol. Hero, that lad, by the way. he's alerted him we are alerting him he just needed the confirmation didn't he no but you know like oh I didn't know you split up with her no I am mate I've just seen Steph with another bloke he's gone he's done well and he's been deliberating over that message for a while hasn't he yeah yeah fair play Bristol when she was meant to be at a conference in Sheffield I wasn't even angry it was almost poetic like fate had sent in the high press is he still going back to football references oh I feel so his life's been turned upside down but he's talking about Big Sam at the Etihad and an eye press I like it from the description I knew exactly who he was let's call this tossbag Sean she's his boss and he is 10 years her junior and we've met each other a few times at her work dues oh my god I feel sick for him We even got invited to his 30th in, guess where?

32:20Bristol, where he was from I'd met his fiancée too, lovely girl They're getting married next month So he's got a burden all He's got a fiancée From what I can piece together, this has been going on for 18 months minimum I know that sounds mad, like I've been managing Southampton And just realised we've been relegated

32:43but the level of deceit has been next level Mourinho again football references it's a football podcast isn't it but he's the kicker they've got no idea that I know none, nada still carrying on like a pair of hormone filled teenagers bunking off school so now I'm sat here like a championship manager with six games left do I play it safe and avoid the headlines or do I go full Warnock oh so I think by that he means exposing them both yeah as hard as it is to admit I know my marriage is done I've made peace with that but part of me wants to trip them both up and watch the wheels come off but then the other part of me the part that still has her soul feels bad for her not my wife his fiance yeah that's the So what do you reckon, lads?

33:41Do I quietly walk away and start the rebuild with a bit of class? Or do I stick the boot in and make sure he's not saying I do while he's still dipping his pen in the boss's ink? I'm leaning towards the latter, seeing as I'm now likely going to have to live away from my kids and start over, all because he couldn't stay on side.

34:03He's persistent. The temptation for revenge is strong. I've got a plan, but I'm keen to know what you guys would do. Anyway, keep up the good work, lads. This podcast's got me through some seriously heavy weeks. Not all heroes wear capes, but some wear O 'Neill Sportswear. I like that finish. Well, what an email. For all the wrong reasons, like. Yeah, yeah. Wow. What are we doing? Yeah, I'm just trying to put myself in that. I personally would like to go out with a bang however a bang being a full expose but there's the knock on effect there's kids involved I've just seen the kids there he's got his own kids involved which is just going to cause him more trauma going forward if he goes for the big bang do you know how hard it's going to be not to do that the big bang are they both teachers aren't they she is she said he's his boss so he must be a teacher I'd be infiltrating script in nativity play what would I do I'd be changing song at end Mr Grimes and Mrs Jones they got a thing going on you're sixes you're sixes Oh, what am I doing there?

35:33Right, I'll tell you, first thing I'm doing, by the way, I don't know how he's kept his head. I know. I know. I don't know how he's kept his head, but first thing I'm doing is I am siphoning every penny we've got into my account. This the Naples, was it? Italy, anyway. Tuscany, Tuscany. The plan. Offshore account. Yeah. the plan needs to change for a start in his favour you're right I'm doing just taking money out and just giving it to my mum so you know like when it comes to divorce and all that that can be the bang when she goes to the bank and there's nothing there that's the bang my bang might be one of these weekends where the you know like with the Gwena Bristol my bag might be you get some of the hot kids pretty much stalk them so when I'm like undercover getting my pals involved you're in camouflage again get my pals involved get like oh they're in so and so bar they're in here they're in here then when they go back to hotel you get the call right they're in hotel sorry I've lost my key my partner's come back I'm in 401 get the key from reception go upstairs get a pint pot, piss in it, right, enter, go in, there, you see him in bed, wang the piss off a ball for him and say, we're fucking dumb.

37:12Piss? And that's your big bang? Well, they both know they're in bother, don't they? Shit in his shoe. but there's he keep i've already i've already siphoned the dough off have you taken this into consideration they got invited to his 30th will they be invited to the wedding i know but now because tell you what else i know i know tell you what else i might do hypothetical if you want to go out with a bang i might go to the future wife's pal, get on that Facebooks, say, look, this is what's happening. Can you have a quiet word with your pal? Tell her what's going off. This is all after money siphon, by the way.

38:03Do we want to go big? Oh, you want to get a mate involved? Get, so... For a tag team. So pick one mate, and then, like... So a mate can speak to the bride-to-be, tell her everything that's going off, give her proof so she knows and then you go down that route yeah them two go after women if they want to go big they can go big then no wedding day big would you be bothered about keeping your or being classy keeping your dignity yeah you know do you know them months that he's flipping how long was it that he he said it's at least 18 months of paranoia every night yeah wondering what's going on but it's a relief that he knows that he's been around Would you be mad?

38:51I think I'd be more upset than mad. I think you're right. I think there's a bit of relief there as well. You know, when he said, I knew my marriage was done. Yeah. It must be like a... See, I don't know if I'd be mad. I just... I don't know if this is me being a bit fucking cock-heavy or what, but I'd be like, well, you've fucking lost me. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. There's plenty more to choose from, John. Well, I'll just go through emails. I'm like if you're going to do something big big you need his future fiance to be involved because it's not fair on her what you need her to find out she needs to know I'd be arse nicking on that he'd be what?

39:43arse nicking would you be as cheap as banner up motorway bridge Janice is a cheat the picture of her. Don't go on Facebook. Don't put it on your Facebook. That's weird. People really find that. That's weird. If you want to spread it, nip it on the... Banners at school gates. Mr Grimes and Mrs Jones. He could go very big, couldn't he? But I keep going back to the kids. No. Can we put this out to everybody else? Yeah. Do a poll. This is... Bert, if you're going to do something big, big, I do feel as though you need to let the future wife know what's going on well let us know where it goes and if anybody's got any other ideas I think big ideas that would be interesting to hear

40:37we need this bombshell for anybody that hasn't listened we got an email from a suspecting partner who thought that his And this is another not, are they married? Yeah, they're fucking married. Who thought his wife was having an affair, did a little bit of digging, and came to the conclusion that she was sleeping with a boss? Or she was the boss? She was the boss. He was a teacher. A teacher from school. There'd been numerous conferences. She'd been going to work meetings. She'd been to his 30th as a couple. They'd been to his 30th. And he's getting married soon. Yeah. And we put out any advice and we got quite a lot.

41:21And he was asking us for advice. Little did we know. How do you think I should broach the subject? Yes. What should I do next? Little did we know. So he sent two in. I'll read the first one. Lads, my wife has a weekend away plan with her pals, or so she says anyway. And so the big reveal action plan is being put into effect. The shit is due to hit the fan. Although no piss being thrown around, Parkey. I'm sorry. Because I think that was your advice, wasn't it? Yeah, which I thought was a bit childish. But I'm going to go straight into the follow-up. You've not read this, have you? No, I haven't read this.

41:58I've read it, and I know what's coming. All right, lads. Got an update for you following my email a few weeks back. Firstly, I need to apologise to the three of you. Boys, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry because the email I sent you a few weeks back was all part of my plan. because as well as taking a shite to my wife the Toss Pot she's been sleeping with is also a big fan of my favourite podcast I do like the word Toss Pot on several occasions over the last few months she told me about a guy at work who loves this podcast and might be worth listening to it just like me he turns out he's an avid kosher the kicker is that the email I sent you contained more than enough details So if he was listening, the world would fall out of his arsehole as their affair unfolded on the show.

42:52Their jobs, the age gap, his hometown, work conferences, going to his 30th, etc. He would be in doubt. No doubt. Plus, he'd get to listen to you boys slating him for being a scumbag, icing on the cake.

43:10And as if by magic, Since the episode, her shiftiness and nervousness has been off the charts. Oh my word. I've thought long and hard about which route to take and I've taken the decision that I was going to put his fiancé's feelings and the chances of ruining my kid's image of their mum ahead of my urge to take them both down in spectacular style. But I still needed to find a way of letting them both know and to make them sweat without a big blast radius. And that's where you guys came in. Oh my word. We are playing a tune to his fiddle, haven't we? This has worked absolutely perfectly. Sorry, boys.

43:54I don't mind. I don't mind at all. No, no, no. I feel used and abused, but I like it. Despite her suspecting that she'd been rumbled, she's just had a weekend away, telling me she was off to London with her girlfriends. turns out it was actually a crisis meeting or one last hurrah as if they meant a crisis meeting what are we going to do I think it's us the lads have exposed us round table the fat one with the air called me a cunt he knows he knows he even ripped the email up that's when you know it was serious we're in trouble I've never ripped an email up before One last hurrah between the two of them to get their stories straight When she got back, she finally plucked up the courage to ask me if there was something wrong After initial concrete denial and the expected chorus of How could you accuse me of this?

44:54She eventually coughed up just enough details to confirm she'd been up to no good But not enough to really own it Not much had happened It wasn't that serious it was just the once he knows he knows just the once was enough anyway all that bullshit things weren't going her way and a few hours later I got a text from him telling me how sorry he was nah and that even though they had feelings for each other he had ended it and he was getting married instead oh he's just backtracking now he's shitting himself what a guy I don't mind losing a listener over this You get married instead, are you? Instead?

45:39Oh, right. All's forgiven. The audacity of it. And how his girlfriend didn't deserve for me to hurt her. Nah. Shitbag. He's gone down the, like, you'll be hurting my girlfriend route, not him. Yeah. He's not giving a shit about it in him, though, has he? His missus was getting told, but not by me. She needed to hear it from a friendly face. so after a bit of social media research I found one of her mates reached out and told her everything she said she wasn't surprised one bit she's also got a screenshot of the text the dickhead sent me admitting everything amateur oh so he's got him again there hasn't he that's the smoking gun this guy should be running fucking country he's got the admission in black and white yeah right Right.

46:33It's up to her now, though. I just hope she has the smarts to kick him into touch before next week's nuptials. Next week? For her own sake. Now my priority is my kids. I'm away with work to Italy now for ten days, so I've got plenty of time to get my head around living arrangements, etc. There's lots to work out in terms of what comes next, but the kids come first. You were chatting about whether you'd get angry in my situation. It's strange I never really did feel that Because it all crept up slowly over a long period Now I actually feel relieved Relieved to know for sure And to get away from the paranoia over the last 18 months Don't get me wrong I'm gutted for what I've lost But I'm also starting to feel lucky That at least I found out Anyway Just wanted to give you boys the update Sorry it's a long one but hopefully you'll accept my apology I just ask you one favour though can you please ban that cunt from listening if we could we would cheers lads and Vienni Sulcosh up the cosh in brackets don't know what that must be Italian ciao I'll tell you what let us just take a second yeah that's off I've done my piss I don't want you hitting a blue bottle but I don't mind you doing one of them that is nothing short of he's played an absolute knocked it out the part blinder.

48:02I even think people watching or listening to this, I think it's goose pimple kind of. Yeah. I tell you what, last time I felt like this, it was at the end of Sixth Sense. Yeah. Knowing that revelation. The big reveal. Yeah. That young man is fucking sensational. It's the little details he dropped in. He's just put enough information in for it. Knowing that he's going to listen, He's going to know. It's me. I do remember thinking. I'm the top pot. He's mentioning Bristol a lot here in the thingy. And it's obviously his 30th birthday at Bristol, I think. Can you imagine him listening? Yeah. I think the stomach's going even further and further.

48:47Like you said, John, we've been played like fiddles, but we've played a bloody fantastic tune. We have. I don't matter. I'm not bothered if he stops listening. I'm still standby he's an absolute cunt yeah we can't unfortunately we can't ban him no but we can call go on just call him it I think I can you fucking cunt feel like Brian Horton then you fucking cunt yeah if he stops listening it's no it'll not bother me one bit do you know what he's kept his dignity he's kept his class and he's mentioning the kids at the end there just about oh he's got a plan I want to meet this fella I'll tell you what babe I wish you all the best in the future.

49:29He's gone about it. I mean, we had a laugh and a joke, didn't we? Banners on bridges and all sorts. He's gone about it the right way. He's gone about it the right way. I'm sure we can find out. He said down to Bristol, didn't he? North of. I'd like to meet him. I'd like to come to a live show. And again? Well, he's emailed, so email again. We'll sort some tickets out. I don't want to send an email back. I'll tell you what, we'll get two tickets. You can bring a date.

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50:43No monthly fee, no minimum balance. Just school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up for the Venmo Debit Card at Venmo.com slash college card. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. Select schools available. Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply at venmo.me slash stash terms. Max$100 cash back per month. Time sex doll. Female listener here. Recently got into Friday Club and listened backwards since. I've just finished listening to the Roleplay Friday episode from March 2024 and John says he wonders how it is walloping a sex doll. I can't say I have personal experience but here's the story of when I had to order one for a bloke.

51:27I'm originally from Bolton, but lived in Leeds until 2021. I worked as admin in a residential service for men with challenging behaviours, etc. One of them was a young lad, about 28 at the time. He was constantly telling the staff how horny he was and that he wanted to get a prostitute. I like him. Yeah. Is that allowed? I mean... This was out of the question. So the next best thing was a sex doll. I'm not talking a shitty blow-up one. I'm talking the full works. Mouth wide open, choose her hair colour, proper silicone, an easy clean doll. So one of these, they've done documentaries on them, haven't they?

52:11And they're not cheap either. No. Well, because I dealt with the service user's account and whatnot, I was a lucky lady that got to sit with him and customise his doll and order it for him. It cost him roughly just under a grand A grand? It's not bad A grand? Not bad that, I don't think Anyway, the doll came Off he goes to test drive it And that's that I wonder how it comes packaged You know, like, is it full size? Must come in a big box money Oh, well, you don't have to assemble it Yeah What, like, screw the legs on and stuff? Dowels Yeah Knock all dowels in If you're paying a grand, you want something sturdy Yeah Fucking do you.

52:54I see if you're as horny as this lad. Anyway, the doll came. Off he goes to test drive it and that's that. Weeks go by and he's banging on about being horny again. So we say, well, haven't you used the doll? His reply was, no, she's too fucking heavy.

53:15I'm trying to flip her around from her back and bend her over the bed and I can't do it, so I'm not fucking using it. You're not using it. It costs me grand. I still laughed at the day about it. Ha, ha, ha. So, John, there's your answer. You've got to clean it up yourself, and she's too heavy to rag about. Not worth it, in my opinion. Hope this helps. Coming to see you with my partner in June. Are we in the arts, are we in June? Leeds. Leeds. Doncaster. Yeah. So, to be fair, fair play to them for ordering in one light. Yeah. You know what I mean? they realise the situation and they're up most to try and resolve it for this lad.

53:57I mean, if it wasn't so heavy, it's a good investment, isn't it? When you think, if you're going on cost per shag, if he's talking about prostitutes, I don't know how much they are, say 100 quid. So he's got 10 of them. 10 of them and she's paid for herself, hasn't she? Yeah, exactly. I know, but she's not real. Eh? No, but... She's not real. I'd like to know what the actual to be like did you move yes you get them have to get some lube for it oh yeah and then what's what's the process when ordering you know like well the time what we'll do we'll just just very quickly what you're going right we'll of yours hair color blonde length bob bob bob first of all not naming it yeah first of all what first of all what colors at all white caucasian white gog is not oriental no no White Caucasian Blonde Bob Boobs Size C cup C cup Waist Size Go with eights Eights?

55:22They might not all be heavy, you know Height I wouldn't be fussed on the height No? I'll just leave the option Any I want to drop the menu down You choose Matchbox Good job getting your dick in that I don't know Nine foot

55:53So we've got yours Nine foot She sounds mint Bloody freezing in that room Shut that skylight I can't Bob's head's Coming through

56:10I can just see her feet Hanging out of Bob at bed

56:16Right What are you going I don't know Can you mix and match Yeah Ethnicity Blackhead Asian Bob Give him the cock with a lady boy, shall we? Would you have Asian feet? Like extras, yeah? Would you have it taller than you? No. I mean, she can domine you then, can't she? Three foot two. I wonder if there's like accessories. Like you can put a whipping around and stuff. Different heads. Well, not so much as that, but if a hand's like that clasped, you could put a dildo there, And then it could be as if she's putting a dildo up your body, couldn't it? If you're into that kind of thing, yeah. You know what I mean?

57:06Yeah. This might be a business, this. I've never seen you so enthralled in a subject. Not at half ten at night. You'd have to buy gear as well for them, wouldn't you? You'd want some turning up with the same stuff all the time. Would you role play? Like, knock on wardrobe. Do different voices in that. Yeah. Hey, Bob, come in. Take a seat. What size? I'm not bothered. Right, not bothered.

57:42Just massive feet. What size feet? Needs to be less than a seven. Big hands? No. Small hands. Can you imagine if they get it wrong or you have to send it back? Shovels. Feet are that big, but hands are like... You fill the form in, reason. Feet too big. Exchange, please. Can you make it a bit taller? Oh, God, it's got me, that. Oh, dear. There are probably some odd balls, take them everywhere, don't they? 100%. That's what they're documented. Meet them up. In cars and that. But I also think, like, if they're fair play they're happy yeah fair play I don't think obviously it's a bit not harming anyone have they no obviously it's a bit weird but I mean do they come with one of them things on like a settee you know like the little fire thing you know you're like safety fire little keep away from Nicky keep playing keep under a certain heat Bob's melting like a candle get it off me get it off me it's melting on everybody body.

58:57The thing is, if you take that off, you're not going to be able to sell it on. You've got a fire safety certificate. That is true. So you need to be sure that you want to keep it. You know when you get, when you, when the people service electrical goods. Bob's had a stroke. Oh, he just left her too close at fire. When people service electrical goods and they put a little sticker on. Yeah. A little green sticker. Cat test. Yeah.

59:23Oh, here we are. It's a bit of a follow-on, but... Hi, blah, blah, etc. I was listening to Trouble in Bedrock on my commute home and nearly crashed a car when I heard the story about Coppins. Do you remember? Is that when he went to Holland or something? Yeah, the male escort. Yeah. High-class escort. Coppins! I think I might have met him. Coppins? I can't be sure, but there are a ton of coincidences, similarities, so I need your help to decide. So, I travel with work regularly, usually solo, but sometimes with a workmate. This time, two of us, me late 20s, my mate early 40s, were spending a week in Maastricht.

1:00:10Was that the same place? I think it was. It was the same place. Yeah, it was. to pass the time on a night we usually go for tea then get shit faced on one of the nights my mate got talking to an older woman I'd say late 40 with a good body you wouldn't call her pretty but might say she's handsome picture Steffi Graf or Oliver Kahn with tits get on board get on board with Steffi I'm not too sure about Oliver anyway the night was coming to an end and the lady had to leave so gave me my mate her number and told him to text her. Back to work the next day and out for some food after. A few beers in and it's pretty dead so my mate texts Steffi Graf and she replies saying she is out with a few friends.

1:00:58Result. We head on over and she is sitting with three other women all stunning and in their mid to late twenties. A redhead, a blonde and a brunette. They are a cunty mile out of my league but as I'm talking I get the feeling that I could be in here particularly with the redhead so I start to try it on with the brunette to really get the redhead foaming at the gash at the gash

1:01:26it's a fucking risky ploy that isn't it chatting a mate up to try and make her jealous she doesn't give a flying fuck so I revert back to being normal my mate is now tashing on with Steffi but I can tell he's a bit fucked off that he's got the raw end of the deal. The night goes on and Steffi invites us to an after party. We get a taxi and it's at this massive mansion of a house. There's no music or anything going on and we walk straight in. This is my friend. I can't remember the name. He's a small, balding man in his late 60s and he's in a wheelchair. He pours a few drinks and we kind of all sit down when the redhead takes my hand and takes me upstairs.

1:02:11Bob on. We are getting down and dirty. She's absolutely incredible. Hail Little Nits and Eredivis Fangeeta. Eredivis, eh? Is that the league? Yeah. Premier League, innit? No, they're Premier League. A little time goes by and I hear the bedroom door creak and in walks the blonde. What the fuck's happening here, I wonder. She cloths off and I think I'm dreaming. him. One thing leads to another and I'm now in with both of them. But it's getting a bit much for me so I'm trying not to blow my load. Luckily what happens next sorts me right out. I hear the door creak and think, fuck me it's the brunette and she's wanting a good topping and all.

1:02:54Netherlands is amazing but no. Good topping. The old man wheels in in his wheelchair. Squeaky wheel and all. He sits there and just watches whilst I'm on the job. He's not wanking, but looking me straight in the eye, which is helping me out, actually. Then it dawns on me, how did he get upstairs? I wonder if Steffi Gaff gave him back it, or did he climb up with his arms? And if so, how did he get the chair up? Then I notice it's a different chair. One at top, one at bottom. The other one didn't have a squeaky wheel, and it's too soon to need a good WD-40 in, so I'm pretty sure he's climbed up and done the old wheelchair switcheroo.

1:03:42But there's one further step up from the staircase, so anyway, it don't really matter. I hope he's not thinking about this at the actual time. Yeah, he's got more sidetracked, hasn't he, by how Coppedge has gone upstairs. How the fuck has he gone upstairs, like, thrusted in? How the fuck is it? He's got one hand up a tuppy. He's thrusting him from behind and singing, has that cunt got upstairs? He must be top chair, bottom chair, stanner. Well, he never saw a stanner, did he? Must not have seen a stanner. A dumb waiter. As I'm thinking about this, he slowly wheels himself out and I finish up. What a night.

1:04:26We don't stay the night because we're up early the next day and I think my mate has tennis elbow from fingering Steffi Graf, so wants to leave. I like the little tennis quip. I didn't see him again, so couldn't ask about the wheelchair-stair situation, unfortunately. So, what do you think? Do you think I have met Coppins? It sounds far too coincidental not to be him. If yes, then the other listener bailed on what could have been the best night of his life. Any further theories on the wheelchair stairs are welcome. thanks to Mickey that's got to be Melita then hasn't it yeah the older lady that sex trafficked yeah can only be I think the regular occurrence it's got to be them in it Maastricht wheelchair known coppins as well as I do that is him all over it's classic coppins innit he never mentioned a squeaky wheel did he no but if you remember he didn't get up stairs did he Helden shit his pants, didn't he?

1:05:29Yeah, he did get to the top chair. They put the brake on him early. They did. If you remember. To be fair, I wouldn't put it past Copping to purposely have a squeaky wheel on the top deck. Just announce. Yeah, so you just know when you're coming in. Tent at dozen. You go in at it and then you just hear.

1:05:54Quick look over your shoulder. Like a power move. Yeah. It's a bit creepy though, isn't it? It's a bit misery, isn't it? Yeah, a bit haunted house. If you remember, the first guy, he got off but got paid, didn't he? Yeah, they tried to take him to a place that didn't exist. His mate Googled the place and it wasn't there, so he shot his kegs. It sounds as though he would have had fucking the night of his life. I think we've cracked a European sex ring. I feel like Jessica Fletcher. How has he got upstairs? You think he's... Have you ever been to one of them pubs where they pull your pint up on one of them thingies?

1:06:35A dumb waiter? Is that what they call them? And you're just up on the sliding door and your pint's there? Yeah. Mind you, from what we've heard, I wouldn't put it past that he's fine. He can walk. He's just... He's just part of his kink. He just gets out of his chair, runs up and gets it to work. He's just claiming Pip, isn't he?

1:06:56he's just claiming Dutch Pip a fucking dirty twister strange that he doesn't have a stroke though not a stroke as in an altitude but he doesn't have a little stroke on his old dodger yeah the pervy stare isn't it that's enough for him he's got cycling gloves on so he doesn't get blisters on his hands when he's wearing his chair about You know what, then with fingerless gloves. Maybe that's... Fingerless. Yeah. Yeah, fingerless gloves. Maybe that's why he doesn't stroke, because he had to have that gravelly... When you have some old goalkeeper gloves on, you know, it rubbered with that fingers.

1:07:34That kind of gravelly grip on them, don't they? Yeah, I want to be stroking with that on. Can you imagine the... And then ten minutes later, when you go in again, you just hear the rip of the Velcro as he takes off his right glove.

1:07:53love. It's got to be. I reckon Graf took him up. Do you think? Overt Showder? Overt Keith Boulder, yeah. Gives him a tap on arse before she puts him in. Just stop fingering me for fire. I just need to take Mr Coppins up.

1:08:10The world moves fast. Your work day? Even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Copilot is your AI assistant for work. Built into Word, Excel PowerPoint and other Microsoft 365 apps you use helping you quickly write analyze create and summarize So you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work learn more at Microsoft.com M365 Copilot Have you seen this email? Did John shock my aunt?

1:08:47No Jesus

1:08:53Hi lads. Oh, are you going to go here, are you? Oh, sound. No bother. Massive fan of the show, only just started listening since the Jimmy Walker episode last series, but now I'm hooked. And the other day, I had a wild moment of realisation that parking might have shagged my aunt. Fucking hell. Basically... By the way, this could be the straw that wrecks the camel's back in my house. Basically, a few years ago, doesn't say how many years ago a few years ago at my dad's 60th my aunt got really pissed and started telling this story about how she shagged a fat former footballer who now does a radio show that's what it says here she said he was on a Christmas do with his radio friends but couldn't remember his name

1:09:52we've always debated who it was my brother was sure it was Razor but he doesn't do radio and then we thought it may be Alan Brazil forgetting to mention she said he was a sweaty lover

1:10:21This could be my favourite ever email The more I listen to the pod and Friday Club The more I think it could be parking Here's some more details That me and my brother can remember From the story she told us Bear in mind it was ages ago But there's some specifics We should be able to nail it down if it was It was in Essex and she's called Shirley. She was out with her work friends from the office. They met the radio lads and hung out for a while while at a pub and I think went to a club after. Aunt Shirley then necked on with the mystery footballer and eventually he got her a taxi back to his.

1:11:08But when they got back, it wasn't his house. and apparently when they arrived, some random old lady came out going crazy. That's a good name. And he ended up taking her to a holiday inn because they weren't allowed in the house.

1:11:30You might have to plead the fifth on this one, Bigham. She said they did the business and he was a sweaty lover. final nail in the coffin is she swears when she woke up the guy had gone and left her a note saying thanks F-A-N-K-S and a fiver that she was for a taxi and not payment and not payment for the night

1:12:09Anyways, lads, if you need any more info, let me know. If it's parking, then it's incredible. If not, there's a cheap, dirty, sweaty, homeless ex-footballer on the prowl that everyone should be afraid of. Cheers, Jimmy. That is outstanding. One of yours written that. Eh? One of yours written that. Yeah, I did. I think I did.

1:12:34Did you leave a biver? No, there is, if I remember, it must be about fucking seven years, six years, seven years. Yeah, I remember when it was. I remember when it was. There's some, quite a lot of the factual stuff is correct. I think she left first. I remember it distinctly. Yeah. Because it was an Airbnb, wasn't it? Yeah. And the owner did come running out, fuming, not letting you back in. did us three get back first and left you entertaining and I was in bed and me and John were sharing a bed, a double bed and I remember when the old lady come out, whose Airbnb it was because she lived across the road I remember the car pulling up I had the stones outside, Brands Arch taxi, two doors opening and I thought oh no because what's going to happen here now Keith Keith, there's no one go.

1:13:35It was just a double bed and a chaise longue end. They've been up chaise longue. And then she come out. This isn't a brothel, I think she said. It's not a knocking shop. That is superb. Sweaty lover, eh? No. It was Christmas as well. Yeah, it was. It was cold. If you're putting a shift in, you're putting a shift in, aren't you? What the hell was? I'm not sure if one of your bastards have written that but to answer your email yeah I think so I probably walked your ante

1:14:12what was she called? Shirley I think well I was single at the time anyway so like yeah now we're going off about 6-7 years ago yeah fucking hell I've got to own it, haven't I? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so, yeah. Is she all right, Shelley? Are you passing on your regards? Yeah, I hope she's all right. Shelley's all right, and so is little Timmy. And... LAUGHTER

1:14:46LAUGHTER

1:14:51Thanks. I can't imagine you saying thanks. No, that's actually incorrect. She's got her stories mixed up there. Yeah. And it were a Marriott and all. Oh, it went holiday. 200 bastard quid it cost me. 205.

1:15:10Oh, fuck it now. I don't think I'm going to let the missus listen to this one. So, yeah, it's every chance. Every chance. It must be the same, yeah.

1:15:22We've all got a past, haven't we, lads? Yeah. Yeah. We've all got a past.

1:15:30Hey, hey, it's the Friday Club The weekend's here, get in that pub It's Friday Club, Bing Bang Vosch With all of your favourites from under the cuss So if you want to share a story or relive a form of glory Fata the weak or clapping them cheeks Maybe you got caught by the mother-in-law having a wank It's all here on the Friday Club It's all down on the Friday Club!

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