Friday Club | Nana's Revenge

30:20oh my fucking goodness gracious me I'm surprised he's not got that ring out soon by the way I'd have been on one Neenie B for fucking hell have you done that big one good looking lad though yeah bit Steve McManaman yeah with a wavy air yeah she's absolutely stunning mate I reckon I'm coming to this party I reckon 9-10 what do you mean Jesus Christ I'm off to Norway I'm going to say 9 or 10 I'm saying he's a 9 she's a 10 ah right yeah you're a very very good looking couple so you fancy what's it called La Sala La Sala right for a party is anybody else any A-listers you want us to invite no fucking hell I don't think we are but yeah I'd like to smell her farts you know that fart in the car she's that pretty I'd like to smell her fart in the car you want to go and I'm engaging the car ooh why but that is a first on here isn't it a marriage proposal I know he'd already done it but by his own admission it was poor so officially Danielle will you marry Rich and if it doesn't work out Danielle me and you oh god bless you I'll keep that bit out but yeah well will you marry him will you marry Rich so we'll see about if it's at La Salle we might as well go haven't we yeah definitely you know somebody like somebody who looks like her she's going to have some pretty pals isn't she so this is the lad that got the the free gear got his gear bought for him and that yeah Yeah, whisked off to Holland.

32:07Yeah, well, I hope it all works out. And make sure you, you know, when you do listen to the email, make sure she's in some nice laundry when you're listening to it, please. For the photo. For the photo, yeah, of course, yeah. Of course, but I'm sure she'll say yeah, wouldn't she? I like to think so, yeah. Pretty awkward if she doesn't. Yeah. Take a photo of your face if she says no. hi lads to be fair even doing it in the car I don't know if this is any better you know asking some blokes on a podcast for Asher and then going oh I wouldn't mind smelling her farts I know but it's original isn't it it's nothing but if not original yeah but I think he's gone out of his way hasn't he I think that in itself is a bit of a romantic gesture hiya lads blah blah blah we can stick to first names only my mates who know the story can have a laugh.

33:03As a young lad, I was a late bloomer and still a virgin at 18. Started frequenting my local pub and instantly fell for the local milf. Not the stereotypical Stifler's mum type milf. Think of Carlos Puyol. But someone you respect to be filthy as fuck. See, I can't imagine anybody looking like Carlos Puyol and still thinking, oh, I bet she's filthy. See, I can. You can, yeah. That's because you've both got different mental... Yeah, that's because you've got different mentalities. Early 40s. Before our encounter, I had given her a strong seven. Ask me now and she's getting a two. Let's call her Jill.

33:49I mentioned the attraction to my mate, Matt, and said I might try my chances. Fast forward a few weeks and after a few drinks, I get confident and try my luck. She invites me round to her house. After arriving, she offers me a spliff, which I pull out of decline as she puts a film on to get us in the mood. Cheech and Chong. I don't know what this is. What's Cheech and Chong? Again, the topic revolves a lot around marijuana. Oh, right. Is it a film? Yeah, there's like a series. There's lots of them. Not the most romantic, but I didn't come for romance, so let's see where this is going. She then gets her guitar out and starts to belt out a few songs.

34:39Because I got high, because I got... So the situation's becoming more and more strange, but not wanting to miss the opportunity to pop my cherry, I stuck around, waiting patiently for an invite to the bedroom. She's playing songs and he's like, hmm bobbing his head yeah bobbing maybe tapping his foot yeah eventually we go upstairs and I start to work my magic as debuts go it wasn't a Wayne Rooney Champions League performance but still respectable and I saw it out for the full 90 and wasn't subbed off early can I just if you're in that position would you like to confirm that you are a virgin it's your first time or do you want to no just see how it goes with a random she might she might take care of you yeah nah you want it to run out fuck out of you don't you when you first die you want to go you want to go in big it's not just like a yeah you want to I think if you sit if you address it and make a big thing about it it'll just play on your mind and then yeah things will happen well yeah especially if she's an older lady though she might make you feel at ease and but even then that light's just gone.

35:57Oh, we've got a burger. Is there a burger left? I could put this down to the ale or the fact she lay there like a sack of spuds. Let's just say I've seen Parky move quicker. She's off her head, isn't she? She's relaxed, isn't she? Yeah. I'm hungry, I bet. Yeah.

36:17Just eating some nip-nips. How you going tense at dozen?

36:26Dorito? No thanks, I'm alright. The following day, I go back to my local to brag about the previous night escapades and to fill my mates in on the details. I proceed to tell Matt I had shagged Jill the previous night, but before I could give him the details, he asked me if we watched Cheech and Chong. Confused? I said yes. He then asked if she got her guitar out. Again, I said yes and asked how he knew. He says that's what she did with him. I said I have shagged her as well. I like that she got a routine. Yes, three times, he replied, and his brother had twice. Turns out I had inadvertently joined their league and firmly placed myself at the bottom of the table, a position I was happy to keep considering their performance.

37:17I think this experience put me off mils for life and I can no longer see the attraction. There is more. About eight years later, I'm in a relationship and due to get married. Me and my fiancé want to get married in a local church, so we have to go a few times to make it look like we care. First visit, and who is there handing out the hymn books at the front door? Jill. What? She just confesses Sunday morning, doesn't she? She gets stoned and well up Saturday nights and just confess on Sunday morning. All is forgiven. Luckily, it wasn't too awkward and the speak now or forever hold your peace went through without a hitch.

37:56It was strange how it had gone full circle to see the first person I'd had sex with stood next to the last person I will ever have sex with. And in the eyes of God, biblical. Anyway, massive fan of the pod. On a different note, a few weeks ago you were speaking about divorce in football and Chris mentioned divorce rates in the military. as I'm military myself I'll add a few notes from my experience however I'm not divorced I find a lot of lads in the military married during service and are usually away on exercise tours or work away Monday to Friday only come home at weekends when they do eventually leave and are home all the time the wives realise how unbearable they are and get rid or vice versa could this be the same in football probably yeah but the we're like it's obviously She wants to go in telling his story, had it all transpired, and he's gone with the, what, chilling chong or something?

38:50Cheech and chong. And then did she get the guitar right as well? Yep, yep. She's got a fucking textbook routine, hasn't she? I'm imagining incense in her house with a pattern for... Yeah, the ones that give you a headache. Yeah. Like overpowering. They weren't related. I bet she'd be, if she was a MILF then, she'd be getting on for gilf territory. Now? Now, yeah, when she's handed Inbox out, she'll have, what, did he say, eight, nine years? Yeah, obviously she don't give a fuck, does she? Fair play, don't I, John? Just because she's in the church, doesn't mean you don't like getting pissed and shagged, stoned and shagged.

39:26Oh, yeah. I don't even think that's a sin. Is it not? Sex out of wedlock? Surely if you hand it Inbox out. Drugs? No, it's one of God's plants, isn't it? Oh, well, opium then. Fuck it. Might have been any addicts, haven't they? If your business runs on five different apps, 12 browser tabs, and one spreadsheet that everyone's afraid to touch, it's probably time for Odoo. Odoo is an all-in-one business management software that connects every part of your business into one powerful, easy-to-use platform. So instead of wasting time switching between disconnected systems, your entire business works together in real time.

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41:06period access slash FIFA World Cup 2-6 for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes, and details. I might get shot for saying this, actually, but we're on about a couple of weeks ago when have we ever been caught from our young 'uns? And my mom came down for the weekend. This was only. So I read it and it'll have been, well, she'd just started talking. So 18 months, I think. She couldn't really string a sentence together. Anyway, look, Louise had gone to Bathart. And I must have been out. We might have even had a live show the night before, so I was like a coil spring oh aye so I'm sat down here with my mum she's having a glass of wine watching telly and then I've given it five minutes and then I've opportunist so I've creep yeah laid it on her toes yeah now Eden's playing with her dolls or something we've had five minutes what was your approach was this verbalised or did you just go for the manhandle no yeah I went for the the manhandle thought not you stopped stroking your leg while you're telling this story thought nothing else all but come downstairs and get our Eden's pyjamas on and she's a lunatic isn't she she's running around so we're all Louise is sat here my mum's there I'm thinking and our Eden's just gone Daddy took mummy's pants off silence right and she's looked at me again you took mummy's pants off and it was so awkward how the fuck are you stringing sentences my mum didn't say anything Louise didn't say anything and I've just gone that's another noise for the repertoire top up mum have you gone in a different room after you took the pants off no no she doesn't know what's going on does she obviously she does she's well aware that you've fucking ripped her mum's knickers off yeah it was bad I'm gonna go in lads if that's alright with us yeah but more than welcome Chris morning gents hope you are well from the off I want to be clear I'm not looking for any judgement nor advice from the three of you hopefully just a good chuckle as there is not a single part of what I'm about to say that I don't judge myself on every single day and I'm still full of remorse.

43:32Might wind on a little, but hopefully worth it. But please keep me anonymous. Part one. This tale goes back to what must have been the first few weeks of my teenage years, but set the tone for a catalogue of sexual disasters over the following 20 years. I honestly could genuinely write a book from nosebleed explosions when losing my virginity to snapping my banjo in a stripper's. That is one of my biggest fears. I've said this before. That and do me Achilles. Seriously. Have you ever looked close? Like anything like that? No, that's why I'm thinking it was a myth. I don't know if we spoke about it on here before.

44:15Because didn't we get, I think somebody emailed a picture of the sets. Broken banjo. Snap banjo. I've had some blood around the penile area before. and my stomach just... Does it happen because of dry napper or what? It's got to be. It's got to be like the fact that it's dry. It wasn't that area. It was from the eye. Well, that's where it attaches in it. No, it was like where you're pissed from. Only a very little. And we're messing about. Rose was getting some DVDs and I went for the old slappity slap cheek you know just having a bit of a laugh and she went but very very lightly I went for the bite but it must have just busted a blood vessel inside oh so you were slappity slap round a kite yeah right round the face you cheeky bugger you yeah in your ear hey that's a cigarette to an happy long marriage isn't it whack them round the face with your cock and then bite it off just poking into you And yeah, a little drop that come out and, oh, just stomach.

45:26Yeah, it's got to be due to dryness, innit? So have you got yourself to blame? You've not done your job proper. A bit too hasty getting it in there. Anyway, I've done the lot, but let's travel back in time, he says. I can't put an official timestamp on it, but not long after joining secondary school, I could be considered to be an absolute wanker. In the most literal sense, as I could not get enough of it. wanking every day numerous times till there wasn't a drip left. Oh, for smoke. The man-sized Kleenex me ma left at the bed just didn't cut the mustard. And anything that could be used to dispose of my guilty pleasure was used boxers, socks, and side of the bed under the actual sheets, the side next to the wall.

46:13So how has he done that? Awesome. Awesome, just basically a lazy half-turner. What, he's putting the... I thought you meant he's putting the tissues down there. I think he might have unloaded. Oh, he's just unloading down the crack? Oh, just chuck it down there? Yeah. The dirty bastard. Side of the bed under the sheets. Oh, you mucky bugger. One weekend, I had invited some friends to Kip at Ours, watch some South Park, play some Pro Evo, etc. But where there'd been one more friend invited than we can usually sleep in the living room, my mam suggested taking my mattress downstairs. immediately I was horrified oh my god as my mum and my friends jointly lifted the bed on its side to reveal a fluorescent yellow stain the full length of the bed I was doing everything in my power to distract from the situation acting up telling jokes what about the time the slug went round the bed anything to avoid detection for now it seemed to be working so I kept the performance up but as the mattress navigated the sharp turn around the landing the cover sheet pinged off to reveal the mess I'd left as my man was on the top of the stairs captaining HMS cum stain if you will I attempted to distract again jumping on top of the mattress what are you doing Jeff?

47:42anyway which sent me ma spiralling down the stairs like a fucking rag doll in her dressing gown to leave her legs akimbo at the bottom of the stairs with her hairy vagina on full display to a group of teenage boys. Have a trim up, ma 'am. He just took it on the chin. He goes on to say, despite the small puddle of blood around her head where she cut her eyebrow open, my friends were thrilled. I ran downstairs to check she was okay, but not before pulling the sheet over on the bed while my friends catch a glimpse I can't think much worse than my mate seeing my mum's fanny best I hear it but he's thinking at this point it's a lesson done they haven't seen the cunts yeah look at the fanny he's kicked his mum downstairs look at that look at the fanny but not before pulling the sheep back over the bed while my friends catch a glimpse job done if you ask me catch a glimpse of a fanny a fanny right so we're all having a butcher's And you managed to get the sheets back on.

48:48But unfortunately, the conversation for the rest of the evening went from my disgusting habits to my mam's vagina. Part two. Oh, God. The following Monday, I go to school. Unsurprisingly, the talk of the year group is my mother's fanny. It's ruthless friends, aren't they? So after tolerating as much as I could, I took the afternoon off sick for my nan to look after me. I laid on the sofa, covered up in blankets, laying it on thick when my nan said she was just nipping out. Perfect opportunity for a wank, you say? It is a fucking animal, isn't it? I agree. So I wait for the door to close and set the scene.

49:32Blinds drawn, the hit's music channel on, and laying wait like a spider for Christina Aguilera's hit track, Dirty. Music video to come on. When it did, I went to work. Remember them days? Yeah. Like, Lost in what can only be described as wanking euphoria, I'm totally unaware of my surroundings as I'm furiously tugging away. More ferociously than usual. Likely to cover the guilt of nearly killing me mam. That's when I heard it. Ahem. A cough came from the corner of the room and my nan was sat there in full recline on her lazy boy corner chair. how the fuck did she slip back in fucking hell I love his little detail half mad with her why the fuck's she come back in here fucking hell I told her my friends had poured itching powder down my pants as a joke in the morning and I was scratching it off what a fucking idiot he's thinking on his panic stations that though isn't it 20 years later she still doesn't look me in the eye and I've always got 10 quid less than my sisters for my birthdays and Christmas.

50:45I've only got myself to blame. What a horrible couple of days. Given the length of this story, I'll deter from sending a non-sexual one about Archie the cat for now, but keep an eye out in future as it's an absolute corker up the cosh. I mean, he summed it up perfectly. He's only himself to blame on all elements of that story. What's the worst? Your friend seeing your mam's fanny or... I think that's getting caught from your nan I think I think the worst thing is caught from your nan and then the bed you can get away with the bed like I like wanking Lance he's overthought the bed from the start I think we're brushing over the fact that he used to just took his blood off bed I know outside at bed I think you might have you ever done it yeah have you ever have you ever done it if you've not got anything you just if you're in a hotel on the half cock and then roll over Yeah, not my own bed.

51:42Not my own pit. I always take a towel, you know that. I always take a little towel. I know, John. But there's going to be stuff up the walls and everything, isn't there? Well, I said there were a yellow ring all the way round. No, you can't be sleeping in your own Harry, can you? But, yeah, for me, Grandma catching you. But I've also got a little bit of criticism for the Grandma. What, for reclining a chair and watching? Watching for me. Yeah, forgetting a bird's eye view. Now, obviously she's gone in, she's realised what's happening. I think she can just leave or just go in the kitchen and knock a pan over.

52:20Or she might have already been sat down before she's realised. But even then, do you think she should just get back up, get out? No, the boy needs to learn a lesson. You can't be wanking in your grandma's front room. He's still learning a lesson 20 years later,£10 less at Christmas. Yeah, that's funny though. She's in for 200 quid there for a wank

52:44Quick break in play gents Because we've teamed up with The Invincible Studio Do you know what it is? No Well let me tell you It's a new game And it's Soccer Manager 2026 Right You can control some of the biggest clubs in Europe Managing We're talking Man City Bayern Munich Barcelona You can take charge of them manage them through the season or you know you can take on a little club and take them to the heights of the championship i think that's which way i'll go yeah yes i always like doing that well for this season's game we've also managed to wangle ourselves into the new they've done a like a comedy section cards so you can sign a few few ringers ringers from out out the game and we're on it and we've been added what so we can still sign in the game before we give the all clear get the stats up.

53:37Got some stats here. John? Yeah. Six foot three? No six foot four. All right. Right footed? Yeah but can use me left. Striker? Yes can play centre half. Age 43? Yes. Weight 130 kilograms. Give a tech. Do you know how heavy that is? Have you googled it? 130 snotters. I'll probably finish playing at 112, 113. What did you say at Give or Tech?

54:14You're not on there. I'm on here. I'm going to read these out. Chris, height, five foot. Five foot eight, which is national average, may I add. 104 kilograms. Oh no, 73. Well, they know you've just been on holiday, don't they? Right wing? Yeah, I'd say right. There's no place up front, is there? No. Could play left wing and cut in. Yeah. I'll be very surprised if somebody signs you. I'll be honest. Yeah, unless they're wanting to get the sack. If they want to get the sack and get a pay up, I think they might sign you and put you on right wing. Have you got old pictures and that on it? I have. Do you want to have a scroll down?

54:49Our images are on there. That's 23 kilograms on its own there. where's your flipping photoshop that's outrageous I've got some information here as well the matches are powered by realistic match motion engine which is above my pay grade but it sounds good sounds impressive it gives you full control over your team as you guide them to glory or in our case relegation so yeah download soccer manager 2026 now from Google Play, Steam, or... The App Store. The App Store. It's worth downloading just to see the Photoshop they've done on my Fiesta. Somebody's asked for a bit of advice here, lads. Lads, I really fucking...

55:38He's swearing. He fucking needs our help. Oh, dear. By the way, itching powder down the pants is too harsh on the lads at school. Good diversion. Good diversion. I'm currently four pints deep with the lads on a Saturday night. Out with my mates. I'm a missus as a listener, so please keep me anonymous. I've been with my missus two years. She's a good laugh and a solid seven out of ten. Good rack. Don't like the word rack. And love sucking cock, he says. Oh, well. I'm not sure I love her and the birds I'm seeing out in town are fit as fuck. I'm 28 and thinking of buying a house with this girl. Do I stay with her or do I move on?

56:20I appreciate the help. Up the fucking cosh. well she's got two well three massive massive pluses there haven't she two good boobs and the fact that she really enjoys some fellatio that's not a reason to be buying a house and settling down with somebody it's fucking in tape it's as good a reason as any Jesus Christ if you're saying you don't love her now then it yeah and it's not only two years they might could grow into it no Nice. If you're saying if you don't love him after two years, that's it? You're not going to? I think so, yeah. I think after two years, I'd say that's still kind of honeymoon period.

57:06That's when you might start feeling like you want to be with someone forever. And I think the fact that he's actually emailed in, he's answered there already. The fact that he's emailed in whilst on a night's out. Yeah, what are you doing, you? Just emailing lads. you want another drink no yeah please tell me my lads but I do think so he's 28 he's going to be similar probably not got any kids he's got to start thinking if I'm being serious like but you've also got to think is he of an ilk where he'd be able to pull somebody better it's alright seeing all these nice birds John like that doesn't matter like he's not just going to stay with it for the sake of it no but he's thinking isn't he there's all these fucking you're going oh well but can I get anything better?

57:53I might as well stick with what I've got. But sometimes the grass is not always greener, lads, is it? That's, you know, that's... You're all right going to a playboy mansion and thinking, oh, I can pull her, but you can't really, can you? Oh, I'll leave my missus for her, but she's not with you. But then you've got to stay in a relationship that you're not happy. He's not, so he's not happy. He's just unsure if she loves it, but she's a good laugh. Great rack. That's not hard to come by. I think everybody has wobbles as well there's always periods of time in a relationship the ups and downs we all know there's the ups and downs and it's something he has to have a long hard think about he's four pints deep and he's sat with the lads yeah he's obviously and he's surrounded by Totty she loves sucking cock I don't know if I've ever used that word she loves sucking cock and she's got a great rack and she's a good laugh yeah get down on one knee young man he's been he's four pints in and there's a couple of girls at bar in skimpy dresses isn't there and his mates are talking about shagging them conquests yeah don't don't do it don't jump just to reiterate she's a good laugh she's got a great rack she loves sucking cock do it in your deep pervy voice oh don't she loves sucking cock I think that it knocks him up three notches I think don't you what enjoying the Goosen If she enjoys it It makes it even more pleasurable for you Hi lads Love the pod, I've got a story for the Friday Club That I think you'll enjoy Only thing is, I need to stay Completely anonymous When this is read out For reasons that will become obvious Let's just say, Jimmy Inverted commas Is still a very big lad And I'd quite like to keep all my teeth This was our very first lads holiday in the late 80s.

59:51Benidorm. By the way, back in the late 80s, Benidorm were like Saint-Tropez, imagine. And it was quite new and that, the bollocks. Right. This is my first away trip with the lads back in the late 80s before all these Adonis-looking Love Island types. We all know the ones. All veneers and fake tans. We didn't have that. We just had Jimmy. Now, Jimmy, let's call him that, He was built like a bloody Greek god. Six foot four, shoulders like a wardrobe, proper brick shithouse. Day one, we're all round the pool. Cans of San Miguel flowing, bombing in, giving it large, bit of crack with the girls, then out struts Jimmy.

1:00:37Red budgie smugglers painted on like he'd been poured into them. And here's the best bit. He's not using sun cream. Oh no. Not Jimmy. Jimmy swears by this thing called carrot oil. Is that what you use? I've done in the past, yeah. Apparently, it makes you go brown quicker. So he's strutting around, glistening like a rotisserie chicken. And the girls are all swooning. We're sat there thinking, we can't have this. So the lads hatch a plan. We've been chatting to these girls, and they've been telling us that they're a bit skint. And they're cooking in their apartment to save money. Straight away, the penny drops.

1:01:22Cooking oil. We sneak into Jimmy's bag while he's having a kip and swap his magic carrot potion for a bottle of sunflower oil. Outrageous.

1:01:39The rest of the day, we're just watching him. Absolutely fascinated. Every half hour, like clockwork, Jimmy's slavering himself in fry light. By about three o 'clock, we start thinking, he's looking a bit pink. By five o 'clock, he's less bronze Adonis and more boiled lobster. Fast forward, it's time to get ready for a night out, and Jimmy stands up and then just keels over. Bang! Out cold. We panic, drag him up to the room. He's drifting in and out of consciousness and just muttering like he's seen God. Ended up having to get the hotel staff to call an ambulance. Turns out we hadn't just stitched him up.

1:02:27We basically deep fried the lad. Third degree burns. He spends three days in hospital and the rest of the holiday are locked in his room, wrapped up like a mummy, while we're out tearing up Benidorm a new one. And the best bit, to this day, over 30 years later, Jimmy still doesn't know. He thinks it was just a bit of bad Spanish son. Meanwhile, the rest of us can't look a bottle of crisp and dry without pissing ourselves laughing. Anyway, 30 years later, Jimmy still has no idea and I prefer to keep it that way. So if you decide to use it, please don't mention my name or the details that might get me tracked down.

1:03:16I don't fancy explaining myself to a 6 '4 brick shit house with a grudge. Keep up the brilliant work, lads. The pod keeps me in stitches every week. Cheers. A loyal and slightly nervous listener. See, I think if Jimmy listens to this, I think he's going to put two and two together and have a really good idea. It's him. See, that's savage, that, by the way. That's a cunt trick. That is cuntish, that, isn't it? But I don't think they've really realised what they're doing. What if the thing was going to happen? They've gone naive. Like a chicken reticerie. I think, I don't know, maybe three o 'clock, when you see him burning.

1:03:56Jimmy, just to let you know, with fucking old man you're here, just go eat shade for a bit. Yeah, he's... By the way, they've played a blinder in keeping him away from the women, though, haven't they? three days in hospital at rest at holiday in bed he's going to be he's going to be getting a lot of attention in he straight out of wing stop he'll have just been crisp and dry bubbly bubbly skin but again I don't know what they're expecting to happen that was always going to end well he still sounds like he's buzzing off it doesn't he with his work every time they're a cup of tea they're all pissing their pants 30 years later it's hit him all at once hasn't it yeah He's got up and bush.

1:04:39As soon as he's going pink. The fact that he's got the budgie smugglers on and all, he's got a great frame and that. So you're saying he deserves it? Yeah, I've deserved it. Stealing the thunder? Yeah, fucking arsehole. Handsome bastard. That'll show you. You've been good looking and that. No, but even if you're good looking, you don't have to wear budgie smugglers, do you? Even if you've got a fucking footer prick, you don't have to wear smugglers. You're just taking it, you're just taking it, ruin it for the rest of the lads, But 30 years ago they were in, weren't they, if you think? Well, yeah, I suppose.

1:05:11I suppose. But I'm sure if he heard the story now, he'd think, a good crack. Well, not good crack, but... I don't know, it sounds like he's still nervous. Of old Jimmy. Not good crack, but... Is that us? I think that's us. Yes. I think we've got plenty in there, don't we? Reminder, Saturday 11th of October, early show. Yeah. Leeds. Matthew Kilgallen. Yes. And we're going to have a full sweep of... In fact... Live shows for next year. We're booked to win. Barnsley, Sunday the 30th. Luke Steele is the guest. That'd be good. Confirmed. He was brilliant in Manchester, weren't he? So get in touch with Robbie at the Garrison for tickets.

1:05:51And then Friday the 21st, we're back at Doncaster. And we'll make sure they've got a projector the right way this time. Will we though? We probably won't, but... We'll forget about it till that day. Oh, fuck. I'll have to get the tables out again and change the thing. 21st of November. Yep. So, guest TBA. Any others? Anything else? Not for me, Chris. Not for me, Chris. Thanks again to the Patreons. Right, we'll get the fancy dressing for Leeds. Oh, yeah. So, it's the week before. Right, I'll pick my team that week. I'm 1 ,000 in the league. 1 ,000? Still a lot, innit? Still shit. I think you just need to get really lucky early.

1:06:32where for some reason you pick a defender as captain and he scores two. I mean, my three strikers all scored. I've got Bowen, Mateta and Echitite. They've all scored. It's pissing me off now because I've got Wilson at Fulham, Harry Wilson, every week. Two points, one point. Took him out this week, nine. It's tough at top, isn't it? I left Cash on the bench, 10-pointer Matt Cash Johnny also to be fair Darlow's going to does Darlow play? he is at the minute yeah oh so he's going to play when Sanchez is suspended? unless you get another keeper oh it's a waste of the transfer isn't it? yeah right over and out works of shit and all he's going to fucking waste of money see you next week yes

1:07:29Hey, hey, it's the Friday Club The weekend's here, get in that pub It's Friday Club, bing, bang, vosh With all of your favourites from under the cuss So if you want to share a story or relive a form of glory Futter the wheat or clap in them cheeks Maybe you got caught by the mother-in-law having a wank It's all here on the Friday Club

1:08:00Turn it up! Storm has zero sugar and 200 milligrams of caffeine, so you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.