Friday Club | Psychic Sally

0:00This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. From athletic stuff like a full court pick-up game, SWISH! To athletic-ish stuff like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in! Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all.

0:42From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it.

1:00I'm under the cuss, so if you wanna share a story, I'll relive a form of glory. Futter the wheat or clapping them cheeks, baby you got caught by the mother-in-law having a wank. It's all here on the Friday Club.

1:15It's all here on the Friday Club. Well, I'm going straight in with this. Every Friday. Without. Fail. Fail. We don't graft those, don't we? Did you hear that? Evidence? Nah, you've been too harsh. you've been too harsh on it we're frauds lads no I am just absolutely as un-technical as the cum oh sorry John you're a fraud by the way thanks for the poster with the red fucking circle with me through it like as if it's all as if it's all my fault like no Friday come this week the photo of us free in a red circle and lying through around me all that ghostbusters I didn't see that so basically hung my heart to dry I just saw that as a right no I mean this is this is similar similar to when you had that conversation with Katie about it being draining it's draining when it's always modern technology's fault there's only you need to get on board with it John because we have to sit there and listen to her what time did we start an hour ago we started we're just recording now I got to my computer an hour and a half ago right I've bought I've been and bought some new fucking iPad iPod

2:324s, 129 snotters, never wanted any, never wanted to buy any, I had to buy some, don't work. We are getting reinforcements in to tell you how to connect your Bluetooth headphones. Poor Oscar's on the holiday of a lifetime and John's getting him to link up his Bluetooth headphones. In Barnsley. And he's saying what headphones are these, saying iPhone 4s.

2:56that's that's when i had to go off the screen i was done is it because is it because this speaker's on you said and i said do you mean the microphone yep yep i'm not i'm not i know i know i know i don't need to get thingy bits just so frustrating man why is nothing simple like i'm speaking to you oh is there a button on back no there isn't a button on back until Oscar came in tap the front twice to get them fucking working tap the front twice why don't just put a button on yeah I think for for everybody's peace of mind and time really I think plugins are the best just good old-fashioned plugin well that was that was what summed it up we've been on an hour and 20s and then he comes out goes away comes back with a pair of plugins so that's an hour and 20s and I thought I'm never gonna see you again sat listening to how do I download Chrome what's Chrome?

4:00Pock off John. We're giving it another go. We started with an apology for last week's episode obviously we did our best. It went down like a shit sandwich by the way the no-show. I've gotten a lot of abuse which is good really acceptable it's good really means people are people are obviously into it and and listening to it cheers lads weekend ruined was probably the most popular popular tweet I mean yeah if John could do a bit of technology hey oh let's be right about it it'd have been out really hadn't it if there's no hour of Friday club and it ruins your weekend you want to fucking get some better plans let's be fucking right about it we've missed I mean what we've missed one two weeks in fucking 15 months just saying fucking give us a break you're coming out swinging john are you i am i might in fact i might just fucking shut my computer up now fuck you are we all good i'm outstanding yeah excellent yeah really good i want i can't i want to get back to work though on board although i did have my car nicked yeah oh you did didn't you that wasn't very good i wasn't outstanding then you got to the bottom of it no well i got my car back but I was out, I was lifted in Manchester on the drive, went out the next morning to get me suit out of the car because I was going to the races, speaking to our neighbour, then just said, where the fuck's my car?

5:28Was there a moment, that moment of realisation when something's nicked, did your stomach just absolutely drop? Yeah, I didn't have a clue what I was doing but thankfully I got an app and it showed us exactly where an address was where it was last seen so we've gone at the arse end of Salford me the young and Louise and basically got the car but I feel like I was nicking my own car the rip the truck tracker out and left it in the first car park that they've come to sloppy yeah they didn't realize they were they didn't realize they were dealing with Salford's final boss did they so what did you do when you found it he nicked his own car back like yeah my car keep me i still had my car keys because apparently they've cloned they've cloned the car keys but my car keys weren't working so i had to use the app to open the car that was still working somehow so if you haven't got one of them pouches that interrupts the signal leave your car keys in the microwave if i could change one person's life what is this what you it stops them it stops them cloning the signal apparently yeah it's not very convenient though is it no good for me that if I'm if I'm putting my oxtail soup at microwave I'm forgetting my keys my keys are in there aren't there fucking lots going up sparks it would be the microwaves it would be the microwaves fault though wouldn't it John for fuck's sake who makes microwaves that cooks car keys they can't cook keys see my first thing My first thought would have been, fuck me which pub have I left it at?

7:06I know, I was thinking, I knew I hadn't been at the boozer, but I just thought, have I left it up the street? Nah, I definitely haven't. The worst thing about it, I was going to the races, they've taken everything and left me suit. I thought pictures, I'd have fucking left it at all. They've obviously picked it up and gone. They've actually met me chuckle, that. Nah. Nah. I'm a size 42, chest, not fucking 38. They could have get sued to somebody, couldn't they? Seven grand's worth of damage, man. Did you not think about lying in wait? Like, in a bush? Yeah, I think I'd have gone down this route.

7:42First race was half one, so I had to get back. I just wanted, no, I'll be honest with you, I just had to get out of there. But a flippant policewoman on the phone, I rang them on the way. I said, listen, I know where my car is. It's been nicked. I know where it is. I'm turning up. I don't know what I'm getting myself into, so could you send somebody just in case there's a riot or something? she went it's all right i've registered it with the district don't worry i'll stay on the phone with you for champion you'll be able to hear me getting fucking beat up cheers love so then i've said listen i can see me car and she went right approach with caution i'm glad you're here what's your planning what's your planning on doing like giving you sparring techniques as you've been to.

8:29Left, right, duck, weave. Run as fast as you can. Keep your guard up. Keep your guard up. You bastards. So have you claimed insurance then? Hopefully, yeah. Hopefully this is getting sorted but it wasn't ideal. No. Did you have any winners? I had a couple of winners and I took my edge off. Oh, well, sounding, innit? Hopefully it won first race and all because if you wouldn't miss that. There we go, lads. It's starting debates left, right and centre this podcast. Go on. So I went out Sunday afternoon around Barnsley obviously bank holiday Sunday, me, Katie and two other couples. And we just sat outside this boozer and this couple came over and it says, look, can we just have a quick word?

9:07Like, yeah, no problem. And the woman went, it cannot be referred to as a tuppy. I'm like, right, why? She said, well, tuppy is like what you'd refer to like, you know, when kids are younger and that. So I'm like. That's what you call it, isn't it, John? I think you started it. Yeah, yeah. and she's like if he said to me can I lick your tuppy I'd say no chance and she said if he said to me can I lick your fanny yeah every chance right so I'm like right okay so then the conversation broke into like the six who I with and them two what do you call it like axe wound and tuna canoe and all this and then the next table I've heard group of lasses one turned around and obviously thought what are these fucking talking about I said, well, what do you call your fanny?

9:56So then that table was involved. Next thing, table next to us, they got involved. There were about 22 of us all throwing just names of fannies around them, bandaging names of fannies. Can you recall any? Any that's worth mentioning? Any Guddons? No. Cool story, bro. What a fucking set of dicks. You know, but what I'm saying is it's obviously causing a lot of stir and conversations. The axe wound always gets a grimace. Yeah, it's not pleasant, is it? But I can understand the word tuppy being, you know, because it's quite a nice word, isn't it, really? A tuppy. Yeah. It's not, you know, I know what she's saying, John.

10:43It's not a sexy, it sounds like, oh, it's a bit of a... Yeah, it's not a sexy one. When you're in the mood. Yeah. oh can I lick your tuppy it's a bit like well yeah so I'm with her on that do you normally ask the question like you're normally just neck and over and just whisper in her ear can I lick your tuppy please yeah no but that's what that's what she said wasn't it if he said can I lick your tuppy she'd go no he just needs to get down there and get the business done I don't think you're ever going to use a descriptive if you're looking at you know you're never going to say fanny or or vag or can I lick can I lick your fanny do you fancy getting fancy getting your fad joke?

11:21Sometimes sometimes there's no need to complicate it just vagina I think it's not too insulting it's not too crude saying exactly what it is on the tin show us your vagina job done show us? Has that ever worked? I've never done it myself try it can I start there's a dilemma here I've gone for a dilemma straight in blah blah blah I've been a listener from the start done all your shows in Sunderland as well where I've had playful abuse of our last for going to a wanky podcast show etc but how the tables have turned I've made her listen to stories from Friday Club for a long time Traps 1, 2 and 3 etc all of the classics and she's enjoyed them whilst twisting her face at them she was always repulsed by the strong Barnsley accent for a start which is a little bit harsh fucking hell repulsed is a strong word yeah a bit dramatic but over the last five or six weeks I seem to be married to a different woman she's gone from being repulsed to basically getting a twinge in the tuppy at the strong Barnsley accent we can't use the word tuppy anymore can we clout in a clout that's the worst gash, we're good gash it's now tradition for us to listen to Friday Club together very cute with her sometimes mentioning it even before I have we are currently in Benalmedina and she has reminded me that we needed to listen to it which we are now as I type she thinks the big fella's crack is top tier but she would rather shag brownie aesthetically little Chris little Chris doesn't even get a mention the poor cunt poor cunt he's just thrown in poor cunt so the question is when are you two free to have a drive up so Brownie can have a go on our lass with Parky sitting in the corner reading the script from Kez to get her juices flowing she does have a Champions League clout and a great rack by the way cheers lads up the caution FTM we've got to go up haven't we yeah we'll check our diaries we have got to go up Chrissie we might have to go up with these till on holiday haven't we yeah you have the day off I'll drop you off eh you can have a few cans while you're there She don't know what she's missing Yeah I'll not have to I know quite a lot of the words from Kez So I'll not have to read So I'll be actually watching If I feel as though you're not going quick enough Chris I'll come and push you in Faster go it Faster Have you got plenty in repertoire from Kez Just to spit him out As and when Judd Judd You'd better get up Do you not think I know you little twat Thing is I could join in Now for my next trick Oh dear not that one Nobody took that one Oh that's not a trick That's fucking outrageous You pig yog What were he called?

14:28Teacher PE teacher Oh Oh fucking hell You're throwing me You're throwing me The fat get needs milking Yeah You pig yog You drunken bastard You don't like being called a bastard do you you bastard

14:48and I know whatever he's thinking did the lads make it home from Benidorm okay yes they did oh yeah a few injured injured soldiers but they all made it home yeah and Stickleborg stayed up this season it was because we've been keeping up with it haven't we thanks to our NordVPN bouncing our location over to Denmark aren't he from Denmark yeah yeah Yeah, we'll go with Denmark. Yeah, we'll go with Denmark. Because if you don't know what NordVPN is, you can bank your location to anywhere in the world, can't you? And keep up with your sports, your TV shows. Maybe you want to buy something. Get it a bit cheaper.

15:27Give you somewhere else in the world. Flights is a good one. Yep. I did watch Yannick Sinner versus Dimitrov in the Algarve last week. The main thing was, within 45 seconds, I was on. VPN. No messing about it. And you didn't even need to worry about anybody in the hotel or anywhere in the local vicinity hacking into your accounts because you're on a public Wi-Fi. Because the security, absolutely top-notch, like Fort Knox. Like the lads at the top of the wall on Game of Thrones. It's a big wall, isn't it? That's what no VPN is. Exactly. A massive wall that hackers can't get up. and even if you do, there's a big, meaty, horrible thing saying, oh, you, no, get back down.

16:15I think he leads with a head bugger. Yeah, bosh. The final boss. Are you referring to me then at the top of the wall, by the way? No, that's the NordVPN monster. And do you want to ask me? Please, have they got a discount? Of course we've got a discount. All you've got to do is follow the link in the description and you get a heavy, heavy discount and a 30-day money-back guarantee. Big boss. Bosh. Get off my wall. If your business runs on five different apps, 12 browser tabs, and one spreadsheet that everyone's afraid to touch, it's probably time for Odoo. Odoo is an all-in-one business management software that connects every part of your business into one powerful, easy-to-use platform.

17:01So instead of wasting time switching between disconnected systems, your entire business works together in real time. Your team moves faster, your data stays accurate, and you can actually focus on growing your business. Let one unified system run your entire business. From the first opportunity to the final payment, everything works together in one place. Whether you're a small business or managing a large operation, Odoo gives you one flexible platform built to grow with you. Learn more at odoo.com. That's O-D-O-O dot com. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for.

17:48You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew, well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook.

18:12Chrissie, how's your holiday going? Good. Mr Sugden. Oh, aye. Bobby Charlton. Yeah. First thing he said, Johnny, when we came on the screen, oh, these cameras aren't very flattering, are they? They say they put a couple of pounds on, don't they? Well, I've been saying it for years. Yeah. saying it for years but how many i what you've been there now 15 days 16 days 16 yeah how many portions of chips do you actually think you've ordered for yourself realistically realistically what we're 16 30 two in here aren't you yes big number no wonder you're fucking so fat no good portions as well very oh i did i watched uh i watched liverpool newcastle last night and I ordered a side of chips.

19:02You know when they just come in with an upright little silver metal container with a little bag around them? No, no. Well, I'm going to let you offer you 29 and a half portions you've ordered because that's only half a portion, isn't it? Oh, no, I got another one when she brought it over. Oh, did you? Yeah. Oh, well then. I said I'll take two of them. If I've not taught you anything over these last eight years, I've taught you that, Chris. Yeah. I don't like them when they're coming down. They're like a funnel, Chris. Yeah, a steel funnel. A bit like a bucket. I don't like that. Because when you apply the salt and vinegar, it just goes on the top, doesn't it?

19:40Yeah, just give us a bowl. Are you having a nice time? Yes, I bumped into a kosher at Nintendo World. What did you? It was a brief interaction. He would have been dragged off to Bowser's castle by his seven-year-old. I tell you what. I've got a programme for you, John, whenever you're ready. love is blind yeah you'd be you'd have been excellent on a back in the day as well go on so the big house men are in one part women in the other and then they basically got to try and find the one so they go into two rooms but there's like a wall dividing them both can't see each other yeah and they just have crack and get to know who they are just by personalities voice personality and as we know you have got a heart of gold I'd have pissed it and what about what about the big reveal like that's where I think you'd come and stuck with this job

20:41because I mean bear in mind I don't know how long like the I don't know how long the duration is of them speaking like behind the doors but they're declaring the love for each other and proposing to each other proposing? proposing so the thing is they propose and then when the big day comes they're stood at both ends of a corridor with two doors and then the doors lift and then they see each other for the first time I was going to ask how the reveal goes down and how long they spend talking to each other because you know three times three to five interactions John I reckon you'd be alright get on to six and seven you know especially if you've had a heavy lunch getting tired getting grumpy true colours start coming chewing like farting in the room is frowned upon well that's up to you well that's just not great is it this is what they're marrying I know but imagine I'm under no illusions that they'll definitely say yes when you get down on one knee.

21:51But I can just see the doors rising and I'm going, oh, for fuck's sake. You can see the excitement drain from their eyes. You know the office, Chrissie, when he goes on that blind date? Yeah. Oh, for fuck's sake. Oh, fuck. But, yeah, it's good viewing, John. Yeah. I would like to think I'd do all right till reveal. So do you think, would you get on your knee before you've seen each other? Has people done that? Yeah, the propose, it's like incredible viewing, they're proposing in front of this partition, they ask the partner to stand up and I'm going to do something and he's just on one knee. So John would be like, could you stand up?

22:40Could you stand up? I'm just going to get on one knee, I'm getting on one knee, I don't know if you told you I've had a replacement a fart's definitely squeaking out on the way down as well sorry love mushy peas that I'm not right fucking enjoying this so far lads I'll be honest with you but I get on it Johnny I've got one here which I wholeheartedly agree with on our ratings lads this talk of the 1 to 10 is daft when we write our stories so he's speaking for the collective listeners here when we write our stories we're ranking the real life women on the basis of the league that we play in if you're Leonardo DiCaprio in the Champions League then yes Margaret Robbie is a 9 out of 10 if you're Derek from the Labour Club playing walking football in the Diarrhea League with the Fat Lads then Susan Boyle is probably a 6 it's all relative yeah that's true so yeah the numbers are all relative to our own standards I suppose.

23:46Tests. He has just said Yasmin Bleef is the ultimate 10 by the way and I'll fight anybody who wants to challenge it. I don't know who she is. And we're just going to have a look at her now. There is of course the wild card. Drew Barrymore is Coventry winning the FA Cup. Not for everyone but for Coventry fans the greatest results in the history of the universe. I'd have picked a better example than Drew Barrymore I think she's whichever way whatever you look like i think she's a a strong content oh now then by the way yasmin's let herself go oh well he'll fight you about that john he said that yeah she used to be in bear watch look at her bless her lovely in bear watch and then she's obviously at that red boy that she was saving people with back in the maybe he's back in there who's your who's your drew barrymore then well I think I've already said her haven't I cats later oh yeah oh the question oh she's mucky I did like Miley Cyrus but she's gone a bit she's oh I like her I like it no I know have you seen the pictures this week oh no yeah she's been on the old injections and had a bit of work done not looking no not looking the best you run about getting on them when you Johnny I'm gonna do I you're gonna pass yeah I'm gonna have a bash on them I think they're not cheap by the way it's just finding the right time I've always got something going off I was asleep

25:13what do you mean? well I want obviously I've just been on holiday so I can't come to Tuckham there I don't want to spoil that I've got a wedding next week Buffy looks cracking then I'm going to I'm going to St Ledger at St Ledger so I don't want to ruin that. What, by not wanting to eat? Well, some people say it knocks you off your drink and all. When is there ever going to be a right time, John? Well, that's what I mean. That's why I'm struggling to find the opportunity. I should have done it while you were away but I went in and I saw... Anyway, yeah. I enjoyed it. I got fucking burnt in that first day.

25:55Oh, yeah. John, man. Bad. Quite bad. Looked like a squashy. did you did you apply did you get your cream on I applied I applied and then went in seeing that pissed up under the broly thought sound I'll close my eyes obviously as we all know now some moves done it so probably after four or five minutes I'm out at broly two hours two hours fast dawn woke up fucking hell I was sore as hell so did Katie not wait what time was this probably about four o 'clock oh bit of pie all right afternoon did Katie not wait you up no she was fast on pissed up and all but she walked over side at Broly so she was alright next three days next three days when I walk into sea people would have a second tech like oh no getting burnt there you'll have to send the picture in John because it looks sore get it in the group much diddling yeah couple on four afterburn oh was it a bit of a oh you know your your rawness well yeah i had to go from behind in tech was obviously i couldn't have her on top or me on top because it was so sure yeah yeah i know for next time get another broly what about you chris um yeah not not too bad actually Probably more than at home In terms of opportunity Because their mum and dad are here So they go for a walk Every now and again And then it's like Stopwatch Go Opportunity The sun in it You don't get$10 a piece In terms of getting ice cream Yeah Opportunity knocks I think My dad's got a good inkling Of when I go Oh I think kids want They've been mithering about an ice cream And whatever I say Oh I've just got I've just got a bit of stuff to do though I think Maybe the first time he was like oh yeah no problem and now you know because it's a daily routine it's more yeah no problem no problem i'll i'll do a couple of laps right block kids like i don't want another ice cream i don't want another ice cream you're fucking having one your grandma and granddad's taking you it is good that you're over the the drought you're going for many walks for your mum and dad so they can get a ride out in oh too old for that kind of palaver aren't they?

28:23No. Not its son. You'll be the only devil your old man, its son. I wonder, what age do you, I mean, do you stop? I know. Nah, he'll be fucking at it three times a week, you dad. But you know what? If I know him like I do. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying about going on holiday and you've got 20 summers left? Imagine if someone said, you've only got 10 years worth of shagging, you know, and then you're not going to be you're never going to have sex again for the rest of your life get me back to fucking Torremolinos think of them times when you've turned them down because you're too tired I know the windows only open two days a month just leave that one with you for the listeners as well bit of pondering there

29:14so what you're saying is you need to start going out more and doing more shagging of OED yeah basically there. I think just him. Enjoy it while you can. Enjoy it. While you've got the crack. Go on John, what have you got for us? It's a bit of a pat on the back I think. Hi guys, blah blah blah. I'm usually a rugby guy, hard as fuck, but I've been listening to this pod for the last three years because of this guy I'm about to tell you about. My name's Joe and my best friend is Robbie and he has been through the toughest couple of years you could ever imagine. But your Friday Club has given him some light and escaped from the darkness at times.

29:53Keith Dininger cupboard sent us over the fucking edge. Friday Club gives us an excuse just to talk normally and laugh about the good times and makes me check in with my best mate who might not answer or call me back for a week but he knows I'm there. Thanks so much for the comfort you've brought us in the hardest of times. You don't realise how your podcast touches people in different ways. I promise I'll send you a shagging story next time but for now up the cosh Joe Evs so well done lads yeah that's nice yeah and make sure you send that second story in quick speaking of a few lads they have their own whatsapp groups and that so I felt a lot of pressure yeah I felt a lot of pressure when he told us have you listened but as you do I mean I listen to them all the time not ours but other ones and I'm like well it wasn't the best that week this week and we do have bad days yeah technology gets in the way like last week yeah but I'm going to go straight in John I haven't read I haven't I haven't read it the diaries of the South Yorkshire Shagga the psycho and the psychic oh yeah it's strange this is it like like food dangerous right A few years ago, my now ex left me over wanting kids and me not.

31:24I've never been much of a ladies' man, but instead of letting the incident destroy me, I downloaded every dating app out there and set off on a two-year spree, spreading joy and legs across South Yorkshire and North Derbyshire. Joy and legs. During this two-year spell, I racked up quite the tally and mixed into said tally were a fair few interesting encounters in strange women. One such instance still makes me and my friends and family who know the story laugh to this day. It started one Monday morning as I lay in bed swiping away on my dating apps when I match with some girl in my local area.

32:06We'll call her Emma. After speaking to her on and off for most of the day I could tell I was well in there and after things got a little more steamy as the evening progressed she invited me over to hers and I was up for it as always. I arrived at hers and after a few minutes of being shy we were at it. Quickly moving to the bedroom. She was alright, maybe a six but she did a job. Like a Darren Fletcher in the heart of Manchester United's midfield. Doesn't stand out but very effective. Gets the job done. Now back to the bedroom. we did everything oh fucking hell i said me goodbyes after finishing the job and went home as i was leaving i'd mentioned i was busy the following night due to a family event now this is important by the time i got home i'd received a message from her telling me to check her tiktok account she'd already made a tiktok about me i forget the context but it wasn't something you'd make for someone who you'd only started speaking to 12 hours before letting him smash your back doors in.

33:15Oh, my word. Is this John and Katie couple goals kind of TikTok or what you thinking, Chris? Just carry on with the story. Sorry. The following morning, she was up bright and early messaging me and told me that she was sawing both holes. Oh!

33:37Bet you didn't mention that on TikTok, did you? But it made her smile because it reminded her of what I'd done to her and invited me back round to have round two that morning. Not that sore. I couldn't be arsed so I had a wank instead. You might only have 10 years left lad, what are you doing? Fast forward to that evening and the family event I had to attend. I was unavailable for less than two hours when I did check my phone. I got messages and missed calls from her both on Snapchat and the app we matched on asking me why I wasn't replying and asking if I was ghosting her this was the first red flag the first?

34:21I explained that I wasn't I'd say the TikTok's the first one yeah I explained that I wasn't ignoring her and I was at the family event that I told her about she calmed down and asked me to go to hers on the Saturday which I said yes because I knew I could go over and have my wicked way with her once again. After clearing all notifications that had come through during the family event, I noticed I'd been added on Snapchat by an account called PsychicSophie90. Intrigued and always looking for another shag, I accepted and set about finding out if she was fit. What happened next set alarm bells ringing in my head as this Psychic Sophie proceeded to tell me that she was in fact a psychic from America and she felt an urge to reach out to speak to me about my love life.

35:08She'd sensed that I'd recently started speaking to a lady and that we were an excellent match. I know where this is going. A twin flame, I believed she called us and that I should reach out with both hands and take this opportunity. Apparently, a twin flame is quite rare and our only other experience of one was her with her husband. I quickly realised that Emma, the bird I'd taken to Pound Town, had set up a second account in order to pressure me into getting me with her. Why have we never thought about this before when giving people advice? Set up an account, pretend you're a psychic. Pound Town.

35:55I played along. Asking this Sophie questions that only a psychic or the only other person in the situation, i.e. Emma, would know. Such as her initials. Thing is, this is good from him. Like, he's having a bit of crack with it. I had to ask Emma for these. I'd only known her for two days and the psychic confirmed the same initials. A few days pass in which the psychic kept pushing me to tell my new lady friend how I felt. Take the opportunity. Another such shite. And on the Friday evening, Emma told me that she was falling for me. Jesus man. With every breath, every second, blah blah blah. I'd met this woman once lads.