Friday Club | Tinder Surprise

29:07Keep up the good work of the coshers, David. That is scary, Mike. Something like that can happen. There's been people who's got done for getting in bed with folk and that. They'll leave walking and getting in bed and... Was the one God done for murder or? I don't know about that. What? Sleepwalker. Sleep murder. Yeah. Half I win with you. Are you getting your suit back? Yeah. Are you? 100%. Nah. I'm too... If you leave them then you... I don't know what's in my pockets. Like four wallet keys. Well, yeah. But like, then if you don't, and there's... Like your wallet, or maybe not your wallet, but something that's got your name on it, then they're going to know that you've been in the room.

29:59And then you haven't got the advantage of explaining why you were in the room. They're just like, call the police. They found this man's suit in our room. I can't remember how much I spoke about my sleepwalking on here, but it is mental. Have you found yourself in awkward situations? I found myself... I stopped at Chris Hedrick's house and I end up in their bed, him and his wife, sat on the edge of the bed. Put it down to the old sleepwalking, did we? This is before they went, ah. And he woke us up and went, go to bed, Chris. It's not that type of household. You'd have to try, wouldn't it? I've had ex-girlfriends by the neck in bed, thinking I was in the army, and I was getting shot from behind, and I've rolled off the bed and just put a hole in the wall.

30:52there was a house in Manchester I can remember the hall can you? I woke up in pools of blood see this scar here knocked me bedside lamp off it was like sharp thingy claret everywhere just laid there didn't have a clue what was going on my drawers were down the lamp was on top of it was there somebody else in bed no I was on the night that night ended up so you're completely much just pin-pop the actual night then, can't you? What do you mean? The one that you were on your own. 17th of August, 2006. Hotel corridor. Naked? With my pants on and quilt. What, like? As a satire? Before a game, yeah.

31:42Just thought somebody was in my room, so I've just legged it. Locked yourself out. Created kiddom. Created kiddom. Indians, I think they were. What? Yeah. The ones who cook you chicken-tick and masala. Type, first type. And on their horses? Why are you always in, like, war-torn situations? I don't know. Is it? But the thing is, it's as soon as I stop playing football, the sleep won't stop. You think it was like, was it always on game, post-game? No, no. Like, an anxiety. I don't think so. But I used to have a sleep recorder app. We'd just set away recording all night, and if there was activity...

32:28It's your timbre. No fanter! No fanter!

32:39I wish I had a camera that night when I'm off the bed. Because... Salute... Oh, I better beat my name out. Two hands on her neck. Could have killed her. I know. That's what went. Sleep murder. Yeah. That'd be one for Barnaby. That'd be one for fucking OJ Simpsons, wouldn't it? Yeah. Mm-hmm. So did you wake up to it screaming? Did it turn into a sexual encounter? No. But some of the recordings were harrowing. But like... What kind of Nazi? It's me screaming at the top of my voice. But you've still got this. You've still got these recordings. Of all the stuff you've kept on. All there? No, I don't think I have.

33:21It's got me right up there. We're talking probably 15 years ago. I know, but 10, 15 years ago. What kind of screams like blood-curdling horror or like that? Yeah. At the top of my voice. In fact, how in bed were you once and you just sprung up? Yeah. That's quite, if I spring up, that's tame. Because I remember, get out of my house, get out of my fucking house. And I'm like, oh, you asked me to start. Yeah. Get out of my bed now, baby. i remember being stood as if on a train track and the train was coming towards us and i've had to like go against the wall or else i was saying what i'm stood up and i've just pressed myself against the bedroom wall that's stood up there all the wall work caught it with and result

34:10mad like but my mom and dad said i used to do it when i was younger they'd wake up and i'd just be stood over them like that close from the face and there's a go to bed Chris and that carried on until I finished playing football you know when Orient Express had gone past did you just get back in bed yeah but do you know when they say your life flashes before your eyes I remember thinking I'm dead here like I felt that real do you know what I mean and I'm stood on my bed pressed against the thingy thinking the train's coming there's got to be some deep lying fucking issues there somewhere what what makes some people do it and some people not I know and then when you do it why do you stop why yes why why do you not why doesn't happen anymore because it'll cost you too much money you've got new walls lamps direct debit with plasterer you fucking you're finishing you in the hour if there's any sleep acts experts Maybe they could.

35:13Any sleep stories? Yeah, shed some light on it. So yeah, I'd have gone back for my suit. Yeah, I would. I just said. Oh, I don't know. I think initially I'd think, oh, I'll just go to Burton's in the morning. Because whether it's believable or not, that actually happened. Yeah. So you put your story... You can be embarrassed. Put it out there, don't you? This is what's happened. Yeah. You'll prove it didn't. Yeah. And if it come back folded. And they're not cheap. These suits. yeah we're burtons oh by the way we you know the F1 merch that we had last week we never actually we got we got sidetracked and never said whether we were putting it in the bin or not but somebody has responded good direction somebody has responded to it Sam Mellor I think didn't we me and you been and you loved it you alright just following on from the F1 merchandise debate last week and Chris's point about it being the same as someone wearing a football shirt is absolutely not the same.

36:17I'm a big F1 fan as well so I'm in a good position to talk about this. People that wear football shirts, that I know anyway, they wear them to play five-a-side in or go footy training in or lounge about the house in. And usually as well they are older shirts that they've had for a while where the sponsorships come off or the badges faded, and predominantly they wear them to exercising. With F1 merchandise, obviously you're not going to be wearing what the drivers are wearing when they're racing. So you're basically wearing a team polo shirt with a collar that has all the sponsors on, that the management wear and the engineers wear.

36:59So when you're wearing that on a random fucking Thursday with a pair of jeans, you're wearing it seriously. so you've actually chosen to go out in it or go shopping in it like a total moron. So 100 % it's not the same thing. So if you're over the age of 16 and you actually wear F1 merchandise out and about, you've got serious fucking problems. Just thought I'd give my two pence on it anyway. Cheers, lads. I've said it better myself. No, is it the nail on the head? Just said lounging around the house. Why can't you not lounge around the house in a F1 top? I think serious fucking problems is heavy.

37:35there's going on people are going on about people going on to know if you're going on in the house you're not going to see it are you but then you can start going on about band t-shirts yeah whatever you're not in a band Edinburgh it's the 8th of July you're not playing bass for you too why have you got a t-shirt on it's like when you go to a new venue and you buy a t-shirt of wherever you are like food venues and me we've been this summer oh buster look at me everybody. I went to Boston. I went to Boston. Yes. Or I opened catalogue and they've got that picture of a t-shirt in so I'm going to buy that one because it's in a magazine.

38:16Oh, what did you eat over there? Oh, I'll tell you what I ate. I went to, what are you called? I went to Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. I'm going to buy the t-shirt. Brisket? Oh, I've had fucking brisket. What was that, Gaff, Gull? You can say it about anything, can't you? Terry Blacks I went to Terry Blacks in Texas look at me what a prick I am so you can say it about anything can't you no why are you wearing that t-shirt because it got given to me why are you wearing that t-shirt because I like it exactly Formula 1's why would you wear the military I don't think it should people for what they if they want to wear a Formula 1 t-shirt and they like it they can do I love New York Yeah Why not Well I'm judging them They're not doing anybody Any harm are they Tell you where else Where else This isn't the man of the people I tell you where else See standing in front Not getting your Your luggage Causing issues For other people Wearing a t-shirt Serious problems Come on I tell you where else There's twatish I'll put in the bin You go to You buy a BMW And you've got a BMW real keying on your keys or you buy a Porsche and you've got a Porsche keying think that's twatish I suppose it comes with a lot of the time it comes with take them off take it off take them off it's a baller that door I know but like would you say oh a Fiat Uno I've got a Fiat Uno would you wear that or are you thinking that if it's more just in high-end cars people wear that use the a key ring.

40:02Key ring is just hassle in your pocket. You've enough hassle with your keys. It's easy to find them the way drawers have got a key ring on. So you're batting for these Formula One wangers, aren't you? Well, listen, I'm not batting for them, but they don't offend me. I'm not offended by it. I'm thinking, oh, that's hurting me, that. I would think, what a dick. Why would you think he's a dick? because you're going to farm the watch shirt on it. It's obviously a dick. He watches farm the wall. We did get a couple of messages saying I'd best put my Lewis Hamilton cab in the bin. When have you got one?

40:38I got a couple of messages off people. Oh. Saying that they're going to put it in the bin. Don't be influenced by these dickheads. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, yes. Where'd you get that T-shirt from? Service station. So, by the way, bin. Two bins at bin. Bin then. quick message gentlemen from our friends at saley heroes for you especially john it certainly were in america well saley if you don't know is the e-sim service app brought to you by the creators of nord vpm which we love don't we obviously you know i'm not very technical all you need to do is download the app to your phone install an e-sim so you can use data abroad instead of getting them horrible, horrible roaming charges.

41:26We've all been stung with a hefty bill in the past, haven't we? Yes. Since this early, very affordable. Really good prices. I used it in Dubai and it was very, very affordable. It saves you time as well. You don't need to wait in line. You know, when you get to airport for foreign sims, when they're there with cardboard. Scrambling for Wi-Fi. Yeah, and it's compatible with iOS or Android devices and it offers plans in over 200 destinations. download saley in your app store and use the code kosh at checkout to get an exclusive 15 % off your first purchase the details are in the podcast episode description box was the um irish festival any good by the way enjoyed it yeah really good duffy there again duffy and um is it mac fadden all right yeah from westlife westlife boys all yeah to be fair to both of them, the owner, because when they first come out, they said, basically, we rip songs off from Boyzone and Westlife.

42:28I don't mind that, though. I don't. I don't mind that. I don't. That's all. We're taking piss out of ourselves, really, aren't we? Yeah. And making a few quid out of it in the process. Everyone's happy, aren't they? One of the lads who, he's got Irish roots, I think it was his uncle, made him some, pardon me, pronunciation, potching? pochine right have you heard of that is it like um like moonshine irish moonshine well allegedly it was 90 right yeah and it had a fireball yeah it tasted like that and we've all had one and after about 20 minutes i thought that's all right that because it didn't taste as bad as i thought it was going to do so i'll have another and then about an hour later i I just stood there watching the rip-off Westlife and that, Boys Zone, and I thought, I am absolutely paralytic here.

43:24You know, when you, I found myself just gauntless. Just stood there probably with my mouth open, just like needing to compose myself. My own fault for asking probably. For another. Yeah. But it was nice. I'd recommend it if you ever get the chance to have. Yeah. Just one. Maybe not two. Just one. Heyo, lads. Been listening for just over a year now, and Friday Club has become something me and the lads look forward to every week. No need to keep me anonymous, but the attached photos are for your eyes only. Let me set the scene. I'm a 20-something-year-old lad from Leeds living across the pond in Perth, Australia on the never-ending search for the Holy Grail.

44:04Yes, that's right. Oral sex from a total stranger. The Holy Grail? I want to class that as that. One winter night, I was endlessly swiping away on Tinder in the hopes of finding a willing participant to massage my pork sword. The search was spilling into the early hours and the beer in the house was fast running out. I suppose it is a difficult, that's what you're looking for, it's a difficult search because you're basically looking to receive without... Do you ever set your sights on that's all that I want? No doubt, just a blowjob. No. Do you know what I mean? No. You go, so let's get her in the building to start with and then go from there.

44:51And then the worst case, well, blowjob's the second worst. Wank's the third worst. You know what I mean? You're going from sex, blowjob, wank. Kiss. Cuddle. Handshake. And you chuck a self-wank in there. What? Self-wank, be a nibble. Yeah, wank. Like, kissing whilst you masturbate. Yeah. but the original point is could you send a message out when you dictate exactly what you want and only that and it being a blowjob I think I could drop it it's a bold move we're roles maybe but not we, it's a stranger just walking down the street, blowjob? no, in this situation you've never met somebody but you've got a number you can just go strict orders of a blowjob literal order weird well that's what I mean it's very difficult to achieve because you're basically not offering anything no basically it's as if you're doing her a favour yeah yeah very self yeah bold the beer in the house was fast running out and I was thinking about calling it a night when I I was met with I was met with a match with Sandra 26 who just happened to be only one kilometre away.

46:14It's less than a mile. It is. Less than a mile. What? At this point, I couldn't be asked with the usual hey, how are you and all the formalities. So I decided to shoot my shot. See attached screenshot. This is really bold. Come suck me off. I asked.

46:38That's not working. Surely. To which response was, Bet, what's your address? I'll be ten minutes. Oh, wow. Back of the net. This is the stuff dreams are made of. I shot up and told my housemate I had a shealy coming over, to which he congratulated me with a brotherly handshake. Ten minutes. Ten minutes later, as promised, I received a message. I'm outside. I went to the front door to greet my acquaintance for the night and welcome her into the house. Now, lads, it is at this point where I think I need to provide you with a few minor details that I may have skipped over at the start of this email.

47:22At this point, I'm balls deep into a six-month dry spell and quite honestly would stick my peckett in anything that moved. Tonight was no exception. Sandra, as lovely and forthcoming as she seemed, was certainly not a looker. 3 out of 10 at best Think Aunt Jemima mixed with Sherman Clump Is that the second time Clump's got a mention Aunt Jemima Aunt Jemima Anyway, stood at the front door I can see a lady resembling Sandra's Tinder profile picture struggling her way out of a silver Honda Jazz as she says Hello, I'll be over in a minute At this point, I started to sober up and really questioning my life choices, asking myself, is this really all worth it for the sake of wetting my whistle?

48:19Aunt Jemima is a discount American breakfast brand for pancake mix, table syrups and other breakfast food products. I'll just... There she is, Aunt Jemima. And I'd say with the picture attached, very... Yeah. Like this. Is it worth wetting my whistle? of course it is. No problem I replied. This bit I don't like. She waddled over to the house and I shut the door behind her. Just upstairs I said that she was taking off her shoes so she's polite as well. Yeah. I was going to say he was quite respectful until this last couple of lines. Yeah the waddled and the three out of ten. I made my way upstairs and into the bedroom thinking she's here now let's just get it over and done with.

49:07She's come doing you a favour mate. I know. Mary's on about just getting it over with. As I catch eyes with my housemate through the railings on the stairs, smiling from ear to ear. I make up to my bedroom, expecting her to be right behind me, but to my surprise, she was nowhere to be seen. I stepped out of my bedroom and shouted, Come on lass, you were keen as mustard over tinder, don't tell me you're going to shy away now. To which she replied, I'm coming as fast as I can I've got arthritis oh god

49:46do you know what this is two consenting adults she knows what she's signed up for we could be we could fall into the trap here of can I hurry up and read it because I keep looking at the phone into kind of something that's playing out as being quite misogynistic but it's two consenting adults. He's happy to turn up and waddle upstairs to give them a full HBO. He didn't know about the high friars. He didn't watch you physically impaired, did he? At this point, I'm really starting to feel like one sick puppy. Has she lied about her age? Is this someone's poor nan that I've peeled away from relaxing evening of sucking world originals in her armchair by the fire?

50:31Do I need to get a glass of water for her to put her dentures in before the blowy commences? I can only imagine the look of my housemate's face as he watched her painfully hobble up the windy staircase, knowing full well this would all be documented live in the group chat. She eventually made it to the top of the stairs and into my bedroom. Wasting no time, I shut the door, took my kit off and she got to work. Lads, I'm not proud of it, but I'm man enough to say it. Sandra sucked me like a porn star till my eyeballs rolled back in the back of my head and my balls were empty. It was a sexual experience I'll never forget and will be forever grateful for.

51:14A hassle-free experience finishing my muck in her mouth. Oh, come on. Her swallowing the lot and her being done and dusted back on her way home start to finish in 25 minutes. 20 of that spent getting up and down the stairs, mind.

51:33A solid and efficient performance, if I must say so.

51:40Do you feel uncomfortable at the end? You'd want to at least make her a brew or something. Like you say, Chris, too content and adult. She knows what she's getting into. He's asked her, are you going to shut me off? She's said, yeah, I'll be over. Transaction finish. She enjoys doing it. Transaction finish. Understood the assignment. But still make her a brew afterwards. No. Sandwich? Me and my mates still joke about it every time we go out. I've since deleted Tinder, but kind of wish I'd got her number, just in case I never stuck for a bit of oral. God bless Sandra. Well, I hope you enjoyed, lads.

52:14We'll be getting to see you over at some point. We'll have a proper piss-up in Yorkshire style. Up the whites and up the fucking gosh. Cheers, Jacko from Leeds. Good email, that. Yeah. All in all. I've never met a 26-year-old Sandra. No. Quite an old lady name. of mine. The look of the screenshot of the Tinder profile I think you may have I can tell you what I can read Not a few years I can read the exact transcript. One kilometre away really close come suck me off bet see you here legit come and suck me off right now yeah what's your address address okay have you ten minutes okay cool kiss unbelievable it's a fantastic fantastic arrangement in it as a girl what message would you rather receive fancy sucking me dick or can i lick your fanny that's a genuine question because like you said there's nothing in it for her surely an offer of pleasure for her is better than a request to come but like I said maybe a lot of women actually this one in particular maybe enjoy just providing a service she's going round me and not knowing what state this penis is in is she it could be smelly it could be hairy it could be anything couldn't it yeah like she's a true hero isn't she let's be honest she's representing Australia second to none Lord's work yeah yeah that's a bold message to send that I think it's one knowing thinking I'm not going to get any response at all here so I'm not bothered yeah do you think he's gone past trying yeah last Hail Mary fuck it come suck me off and then the thing is if you're firing messages out like that then surely you're burning bridges for potential future because if you go to if you see someone you match with them and you think oh I message her she looks nice you go in your message and last sent messages He's fancy sucking me off.

54:24And then you're like, oh, shit, I forgot our message, though. I know he didn't know about it at the time, but I can't imagine it's great. You can't go for a walk, can you, with you? Yes, I mean, as a girl, would you rather receive a message saying, can I lick your vagina, do you fancy sucking me penis, or sex, question mark? You know, if you're going to receive one of the three, surely he says what about suck me off I'll lick your dish you scratch my question mark cake fries one last speak bye yes here we go from Chris that's all I've got Chris hi lads got something for you in the bin feature um something I cannot stand is Paddington fucking bear honestly cannot stand a little fucking cunt any time I see any clips that he's in or anything from the films, his voice, great, just sounds like an absolute little prick.

55:31Don't get why as country we seem to be obsessed with some fictional Peruvian bear, but there's loads of people that are, they absolutely love him. I don't get it at all. Seems to be the royal family loving strawberries and cream, rah, rah, rah, let's get the bunting up. It seems to be that lot of wankers that seem to just, I don't know, jizz over him for some reason, but I cannot fucking stand him. So please put him in the bin. And before you close the lid, just call him a nonce and then get rid of him. That's it. One thing I will say is I do actually quite like marmalade though, but cannot fucking stand Paddington Bear.

56:11Goodbye in the bin. I'm glad you've let us know you like marmalade. that is my favourite one yes Paddington aside we can't put Paddington in the range no this loves them Katie's dad's got a Paddington Bear tattoo on his calf get red that's out of order I'm telling you I'll get him to show you it Friday night does he love Royal Family and all yep so that must be his ride then there's definitely a connection though yeah with the Royalists and Paddington I'm sure he does the last i mean it's a british institution i think then yeah little god call him an honest as well it's a bear it's a it's a bear it's a tough thing i really liked i really like the message yeah i know i've done i've done the paddington tour in london yeah you have you can get in the bin and all of you did you get a t-shirt i didn't get a t-shirt no mammal sandwich um but again that's It's just kids, isn't it?

57:15I honestly don't think I can put him in the bin, just on that. No. His dad's got a tattoo. I can't put him in the bin. I'd put him in the bin for that. You could put his left leg in and he could buy an harvester and chuck it in afterwards. Well, you tell him Friday night. What the fuck's that, Dave? Dave, what the fuck's that? He left shorts on. What the fuck's that, Dave? You're nonce. Yeah. That cunt Paddington on your fucking car.

57:38Yeah. I get it. I get it. I get it. Are you going to tell June or? I can't put Paddington in the bin. Marmalade can get in the bin. I quite like marmalade. Yeah, I can put it in the bin for me. A bit of toast? No. Why not just have jam? Everybody likes jam. Why do I have to fuck about marmalade? That is just fucking ridiculous. Onion or not? Onion can get. It's like, oh, you like ham? Why have ham and cheese? Just have cheese. No, I don't like marmalade. I can put where I want in my bin, you know, dickhead. nah can't go in for me Paddington I'm really sorry but like we said we do know what you mean I know this is against everything that you said but should we just put marmalade in the bin yeah we'll be here it's a compromise that's what I mean it completely fell on its face what about just Paddington's jacket can we put that in his blue anorak yeah can we put that in I'm going to listen to that voice note again on the way home just cheer you up it's a beauty

58:40is this the first thing we're keeping out of the bin yeah i think it is sorry chris but for the sake of of our children and millions of children across the world we cannot put paddington in the bin why is he from peru i know that that bit pisses us off why it's not from like peter lee he's not have birds in peter lee have what don't have bears in Peter Lee. Poor man. Some of the light bears up there. Jesus. Yeah, I can't. No. Can you? No, I can't put Paddington in the bin. But, special mention for the message. Yes. Is there any characters you would like to put in the bin? Blippi. Oh, too young for me.

59:27Blippi? Blippi. Yeah, I'd stick him in and Mr. Tumble as well. He can go in with him, keep him company. Just children's presenters. Yeah, any good ones? Yeah, Tony Hart. Yeah, but he was a bit more... He was more young adults, wasn't it, Tony Hart? The old Buchanan were good. Funhouse. Yeah, but again, he were... That again was young adults. It were tumble and blip here. Well, I know, but to be fair, you're pissing it wind, aren't you? Because you are... you are targeting a specific audience, which is three. You've got to be annoying, haven't you? Yeah. You've got to be annoying to get into that game.

1:00:07Sorry, Blippi, get out. You're all right. Yeah, Blippi, he's the worst. He's gone into a niche market. He's a multi. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he's touching a billion, you know. Oh, Frumble. Frumble. Blippi. Thing is, Blippi's annoying, but there's a fake Blippi. What? A wannabe Blippi. Blippi. They're called Blappi. he can get in the bin yeah we'll keep the normal one because he's minted but yeah the normal one fuck off that's him but he's doing his he's doing his service for the you know you're not saying that when you need a bit of time and you stick TV on well I'll tell you I'll tell you what we'll put a bit of Blippi on can I have half an hour of Blippi you're upstairs yeah I always used to watch them all the time provides a service or he didn't skip all them you know like in the night garden and all that straight the flipping K-pop K-pop K-pop demon hunters like Zamfam I'm sure she's saying at the minute but where they're eating stuff and making funny noises you ever seen that one I don't think so do you know what I'm on the bar you're about ASMR I don't know what it is but there's like a big big table of sweets and there's a fucking bird oh eating them provocatively there's all kinds of stuff on YouTube no slime do you know what to his people messing with slime.

1:01:28Yeah. What's wrong with this, good old Mr. Butter Moon? Well, gents, you get married in the morning. If anybody wants to leave John a message for his wedding day, just any last bits of advice, get them in today, ready for tomorrow. Yeah. Any speech advice? Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't involve... Right, it and myself. 45 minutes minimum. 45 minutes? Will you just be on lager all day on the wedding day? Or you could have a bottle of, a glass of bubbly. I fucking never know. No. I don't like it, do I? I was part of drinking something you don't like, just because it's, I'm hoping some speak for you, whatever it would call, or it'd call that stuff.

1:02:13Potcheen. Oh, some potcheen's coming, passed around the table. Oh, the toilet roll, the marital toilet roll. Yes, is it? I saw a guest picture of that earlier. Yeah, I'm going to save a poo. Is it a picture of you two? No, it's two fucking snowmen. I beg your pardon. It's two snowmen. Snowmen? Yeah. In July? I'm sure it's that. Are there snowmen and snowwomen? Or the stickmen and stickwoman. Yeah. I've got to be honest with you. I only saw it this morning. I've not wiped my arse with it, but it don't look like it's going to be left to wipe my arse with. I think it's just going to be moving it further up my back what ply are we talking what ply what ply how many sheets what do you mean there's a good toilet paper no I've only looked at it rough a bit school toilet paper a bit of tracing paper has it got your initials on it no it's just got two stickmen a stickman and a stickman the way you made it sound before I thought you had your initials I thought it was going to be Jane Kay Love Hearts everywhere when I get home tonight I'll get a Sharpie hat and I'll fucking put it on every piece for you not a problem I'm sure you said your initials were on I thought it was obviously as you know as you well know I had nothing to do with the toilet paper so it's not personalised is it?

1:03:39that could be anybody that yeah might even be going to a village fate yeah so Katie that half a job yeah crap I don't even think I'll be able to work Well, I enjoy working my arse with you. Right, gents. Well, yeah. Up the wedding cosh. Up the, yeah, the wedding cosh. The links are for the speak pipes in the description. Just text me. I'm just going to think how many hearts will be broken tomorrow when I do. The dream is over for a lot of ladies. Yeah. Half a barn. By the way, I went in loft and all yesterday. I got me, you know, I told you I put loads of clothes up in loft. 75 % fit Only 25 % have just been shrunk it Shirts and that You know From back in the day Oh I thought you meant for before your jabs No So old new wardrobe It's an old new wardrobe Have you got that Vivian Westwood belt there?

1:04:37How old are the clothes? Are you going to be walking around like a member of Backstreet Boys? I genuinely didn't realise that I've got like three or four Vivian Westwood shirts up in loft Ashton goes around the circle I used to be a fancy one. I used to be a stylish bastard. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Leather jacket? I lost a leather jacket, so I don't know where. Vests? No, but I can get a couple more. Can be my denim shirt. Yeah. Or to meet Gaza. That still don't fit. That's going to have to be a T-shirt underneath and then I'll have a top now. You know, that look. the oversized shagat no it was just like a shirt wasn't it or a slim fit one yeah but is it still too tight oh fucking hell aye bested pot I thought it was too tight like when I put it on Katie went how did you ever get in that well I don't know give it a rim it's fucking too tight for that for that comes and all right I see you next week yeah married man

1:05:48Hey, hey, it's the Friday Club The weekend's here, get in that pub It's Friday Club, Bing Bang Vosch With all of your favourites from under the cuss So if you want to share a story or relive a form of glory Fart of the week or clap in them cheeks Maybe you got caught by the mother-in-law having a wank It's all here on the Friday Club

1:06:40It's all here on the Friday Club Thank you.

1:07:12Thank you.