Friday Club | Trouble in Bedrock

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0:32Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calsheet.com slash regulatory. Hey, Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it, style it, make it yours because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today.

1:13Hey, hey, it's the Friday Club. The weekend's here, get in that pub. It's Friday Club, bing, bang, cross. With all of your favorites from under the cuss. So if you want to share a story or relive a form of glory, Fatter the week or clapping them cheeks Baby you got caught by the mother-in-law Having a wank It's all here on the Friday Club

1:38It's all here on the Friday Club He's tired, he's grumpy He's bloated I couldn't even chant that when you were playing Come on chippy tits We started? We're on Feet are exposed I'll tell you what we didn't talk about What about You'll carry on What about the trumpet? Collecting the trophy with full John Terry. I know. Brilliant one. Fuck me, I've not seen it me, but like I imagine he thinks he's like done something really well. Like something to do with Chelsea getting winning that shitty thing. Well I showed you the picture and you thought you'd been done by AI again. That's what I mean, I can't trust out now.

2:21Yeah. I genuinely can't trust. I thought somebody superimposed Trump on the ceremony thing. you've had lip readers in haven't they who's at the side of him I can't remember now they can't look out whether they're saying are you going then are you going as in leaving the stage yeah are you going and he just no no was it Cole Palmer no Cole Palmer behind him I can't remember who he's quickly becoming my favourite ever footballer yeah I don't know why I think it's just because he's just not really asked is he he's not he doesn't fall within that robotic mode of other footballers, does he? Which is...

2:58Him and Jack Greenwich, I'd love on a... If I were going to go for a couple of pints. I don't know if it's because he's maybe not the brightest. So he's just... Yeah, he's just totally oblivious to what's really happening in life and his surroundings. It just happens that he's unbelievable at football. Yeah. My sister went to Chelsea versus Luda Maze. Try again. Fluminese there's no D say it Fluminese Fluminese that one she said it were just mad there were like people in United shirts Liverpool shirts like this World Cup yeah and then they were cheering for Chelsea it was a bizarre setting shite tell you what is interesting though they've got like I don't know four weeks now till the end till the start of the season what they're going to do are they going to game two weeks off and then a little mini pre-season you know exactly what's coming next summer oh Harry Kane he's knackered yeah when did he sign for Chelsea by the way Kane have you been playing he's had a tough tournament oh he's been playing for Bayern oh did that backfired that little bit yeah well buy me on it there yeah right yeah I've not seen one ball kicked I haven't and I've not missed it not asked My feet stink, lads, so I apologise.

4:25I'll tell you what I've done this week. I've stepped into a new level of fatherhood. Like the next step of fatherhood that I remember my mum and dad whinging about. He's finished school now and they're in this period, and they were before college or whatever they're going on. The lazy period. Yes. But he had his prom, he had a party after that one. collection half twelve he had his end of year drama show party after that 1am collection and then he had his mate's birthday party the night after that half twelve collection see dropping him off as well but he's sensible I'm assuming he was in good state it's all about Uber let him get his fucking seno 30 quid it worth I picked him up Yeah, fair enough, aye.

5:21But I mean, how long is this going to go on for now? Well, until it can drive. Yeah. But then you've got the fucking insurance for him when they're 17, aren't you? Passing the test. You're copping for that, aren't you? Yeah. You're copping for two and a half grand a year for his insurance. I'll tell you what else it's affected. Sex life. Absolutely falling off a cliff. Why? I don't think you understand yet, Chris. Yeah. I don't think you understand. He's in all time now. Like, my time was... Right about loose women. Lunch time. Yeah, loose women. Kids at school. As soon as Vanessa Phelps comes on, gets you going.

5:57But can I just leave them downstairs and... Not with the owls that I create, Chris. You can't leave a 16-year-old downstairs. Why? Obviously, they wouldn't walk upstairs, aren't they? No. Stay there, Oscar. I told you I got caught red-handed by Oscar. So that's... No. Are you scarred? well Rose is like not even at night time now while he's in bed because he has mentioned as well that he's he's heard a few bumps in the night before but he he's good with it like he'll he'll say I'll let you know when I'm coming home you know we don't want a repeater last time do we he'll drop he'll drop them in you can't just get a$60 switch and say yeah it's nearly over 10 minutes he's in now so that's that's my window yeah what you need is yeah it's not easy is it I'm that close to getting a 30 pound premier in around corner middle of afternoon oh good show go in pretend you don't know each other yeah a man of your stature can make that happen child in the house or not I know but I like to they're not children though they're young adults I like taking me time you know I know maybe you sent shop you still no you said you said you like a quickie no but when it's not you don't like a quickie you just can't help it with a quickie do you know what when it's Been a sustained period of time without any.

7:20You want to take your time, don't you? You want to savour every moment. What we're saying is basically the kids ruin everything, don't they? He was 15 minutes late, picking me up for the mix show in Wolves. Oh, where else go down at the shop?

7:36And you were honest as for the reasons why. Yeah, opportunity. You got the nod. Opportunity knocked. And I said, Chris, don't worry about it. Under no second chance are you going to get any hassle from him I've been 15 minutes for the wallet I was taking me time 15 minutes I mean you're at the point where you're like you're thinking ice cream vans come and I'll put his music on send him out for an ice cream have we got enough time here big order you need a cue yeah yeah I remember when I used to because Martin Woods never used to drive till he was about 29 or somewhere so I used to pick him up and I'd be sat on his drive for 10 minutes on the morning waiting for training and he'd get in and go sorry Chris I've had a ride out this morning and I couldn't be bothered to you cheeky bastard what were you thinking what were you thinking cheeky because you've not had the invite come on I'll be honest with you Chris I was having sex this morning and I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed you don't mind the honesty do you no 10 minutes is a long time sat on a drive but fair play I'll tell you what I have noticed you know when it was on Friday, Saturday when it was ridiculously hot I could not get a there was no appetite at all no twitch For the sex, not food.

8:46I was thinking what you want with it. I'm starving, but I didn't have the energy. I went straight to bed. How many times a week do you have to eat? Seriously? Five. Five? And how long are these? Do you not lose the excitement? How long are these sessions? I mean, we've spoke recently about there's a time and a place for all things. If you just want a quick one before bed, there's a place for that but if you want a good half an hour out there it's a dripper why is there sweat on Saturday afternoon? I know I think that was probably one of the reasons why I wasn't in the mood I'm sweaty it doesn't what about you?

9:29what about on holiday? I would say eight times a mum so twice a week but maybe not she's got windows what does that mean? we're talking children young adults again no she's got windows where she's not bothered at all and a window where I've half a chance yeah I've got a great chance I don't think that's a bad ratio really a lot of people out there would be snap your hands off for that but you've had a bit of a dry one haven't you I'm very dry at the minute very very dry it's sit down right we need to sort this out tackle fucking are you thinking about leaving her wait a minute Katie it's it moldy's going to stop at hard for a couple of weeks send us an email and we'll read it out we need to create some windows slap point yeah i don't know what yet like designate a time of the day every yeah couple of days just gotta whatever you're doing yeah short time i think you might need to get a lock on on kids doors lock them in harry potter just downstairs lock come here.

10:35Yeah, I hope you get through it. How was, what about holiday? It wasn't as productive as turkey. Was it? No, it wasn't as frequent. There was family there and brother and sister next door. Surely you can make it happen. Surely you can make it happen. To be honest, it was the bed. We had a double bed. Was it a creaker? No, it was just tiny. And we obviously had our reading. You're right, they ruin everything. Yeah, fucking horrible things. Leaving the pram outside. that was a shit joke just be a fan on a fan on Bush chair especially in Portugal Jesus Christ Christ almighty cut that bit alright lads firstly I apologise because this is a long one great show as always I thought I would email in after a situation in my earlier life has resurfaced in my own head and I think I need some clarity on the situation has that happened to you?

11:35where something's resurfaced like years later when you think I got groomed in Scarborough yeah I spoke about when I got groomed in Scarborough yeah yeah we had a conversation about it yeah have I told you when I got touched up by Purple Hackey but that is when I'm a schoolboy and it were only years afterwards when all that stuff come out about him I thought I'm one of his victims yeah well this seems to be going on the same line because for context... I only felt my thighs just for record. Did you have a tense up, genuinely? And do you know what? And this is... You know, when you're talking about people getting groomed, I remember him saying, oh, do you go to the gym?

12:16And he pulled up in his BMW and he was like, do you go to my gym? I was like, no. And he was like, oh, you're a good-sized lad for your age. Obviously, this was just his patter. And he was like, oh, let's have a look at your legs. Go on, tense up. And I tensed up and he had a right feel and my thighs and then I remember when I got home I was like do you know what I should go to the gym and thinking I wonder if next time I see him I'm going to ask him which gym it is so I was in how old were you? 14 just put myself as a 14 you were what I didn't I think I'd be more switched on than that fuck off I might have been 13, 14 I can't remember but you were in I was in yeah he was like yeah you're a flatic you do alright you know, filling you with compliments first.

13:05That's how they get you, Chris. You hear a chup-a-chup after. Sit on your waist, Ron. For context, this has come to light after this whole Diddy trial. So here he goes. Let's scroll back to 2010. Back in my hair day, early 20s, I was doing a bit of modelling. I'm haggard now, he says. But I had a bit back then. To be honest, I couldn't stand the fucking job as I don't like cameras. But at the time, after being approached, I thought, fuck it. Maybe a laugh and get a chance to potentially rump some right sorts. During this period I met a lot of weird and interesting people. But there was one conversation that led me to this path I found myself on.

13:44A mate I met mentioning how we knew someone that was doing a bit of male escorting. Me being me, I thought I would have a bit of that. I found the site, chucked a few photos on, paid the£10 membership fee and I signed up. I was off. after getting numerous emails and calls, like a Chinese fella asking to massage my feet and a woman wanting me to send a photo of my feet to basically choose who she was going to invite round. And she was also looking at others too. So wait there, let's try and get a bit of... So she's going to send a photo of his feet to see if she's going to employ him for tonight.

14:22Ah, right, so it's like an interview. Yeah, they must be important. I know somebody wouldn't have got him. Yeah. unfortunately i never made the cut anyhow once i whittled through the shit i finally got a reasonable sensible approach hi my name is melita i'm coming over from holland today and would like to take you to claridge's hotel for dinner tonight i'll pay a hundred pound an hour and will require require you for two hours this would have been a tuesday or thursday as at the time i was working at Jack Wills. After taking a bit of advice from the Jack Wills team, I was in. For anyone that knows Claridges, it's a posh hotel.

15:05A pair of night green Cortezes banged out, jeans and a knackered All Saints t-shirt is not the acquired look. Anyhow, I got to the hotel, gave her a call and unstepped this sharply dressed, a bit worn, 50 year old Dutch lady. We sat down at the bar. She offered me a drink and I went straight in with a bud bar and lobster. Cheeky bastard. I reckon you'd be right into that game. Yeah, do you know what? As I was reading that I thought, that sounds, you know as a young lad? Yeah. Not knowing what... 41? Not knowing what's going to turn up. Conversation was flown as best it could with the language barrier.

15:49The two hours was up. She proceeded. Would you like to stay for another hour? Too fucking right I would. I'll have another lobster. Two more lobsters over here, Jeff. I dropped a bluey that was stored in my wallet. 15 minutes later we passed through the bellboys, up to her room and I did a proper job on her. What? A proper job? Shizza, shizza, ringing through the corridors of the hotel. I don't know what that comes from. That must be my mean fuck. Shizza, shizza. He's fresh from that. Shiza. Scheisse. I thought you were fresh from wireless. Schusser, schusser. Ah, right. Scheisse, scheisse, which is German.

16:30We'll go with it. I don't know if it's the same in Dutch. 12 minutes later, I left with 300 pound in my back pocket and an empty sack. But to my annoyance, it was absolutely banging down with rain outside. But to put the cherry on top, the concierge on the front gave me a brand new, branded up brolly. Oh, so he's given one of them out at box, hasn't he? yeah left doing a Dick Van Dyke click of the heels and a smile I was like a pig in shit oh he's on cloud nine isn't he what a night I could see a career in this we fast forward four days and Melita dropped me an email again would you like to come to Holland for two days I will pay you 1800 euros get you a free hotel all expenses paid fuck me I'm right in however I thought I would let the old man know this one his response do it but find out the itinerary first great advice thanks dad the itinerary I don't think I'd be telling me no chance crack on I'd tell somebody yeah not my dad definitely not my dad the itinerary I will pick you up from Eindhoven airport we will drive to my friend Christian Coppin's house first and second era like that pick him up and then go for a massage in Manstreet and then back to your hotel.

17:53You get changed and then for dinner the next day drop you to the airport. It will be cash in hand. I mean that's pretty... All expenses paid. You're getting a massage as well? Yeah. And she's telling him get changed. He says it seemed in-depth and clear. It's a go from me. My mum and dad weren't together at the time but clearly they spoke as my mum offered me the money not to go. My reply I've got no choice now. I've told the lads.

18:25I've told the lads love. Mum I'm going. Got to go. The last bit of advice my dad gave me don't drink anything they offer you. I've got taking in my head now. Yeah. Fortunately there was no chance of me drinking alcohol as I had NSU which is a posh name for chlamydia, a slight discharge and an itch. This worked in my favour though. I never thought something like this could be a positive. You can't be walloping. Well, is he bagging up? He's got to be, haven't he? Well, you'll have to bag up. Friday morning with my bags packed, I was off. He's just dropped that in willy-nilly, hasn't he? Oh, I've got a sexually transmitted disease, lads.

19:04There is not a chance on earth I'm sending my son to Holland to meet some strange people for sex and a massage. How old is he? does he say early 20s oh aye fucking crackle like you said taken yeah don't let him give you a drink so he's packed his bags he was off he knows her really well three hours were you when I landed as promised she was there straight to Coppin's house what a gaff penthouse penthouse apartment big grounds we knocked at the door and this beautiful redhead about 23 24 answered the door welcome in my head where the fuck is Christian this was not part of the itinerary yeah that's a good point at this point as well I'm thinking why's Christian coming I know is he getting involved I know you've got 1800 euros coming your way oh but who knows what Christian Coppinger is Coppins Coppins hello I'm Christian oh we'll find out now in his Dutch accent yes would you like a tea or a coffee also a Sean Connery impersonator go on then son couple please two sugars ah fuck dad's advice actually I'll have a bottle of water please and then we were off down to Maastricht me the 23 year old and the disabled 70 year old and Melita so Coppins is 70 and disabled yeah he forgot to mention Coppins was in a wheelchair he's just dropped that in as well as an STD right so it's a weird set up to say the least Redhead weren't mentioned in the artinerary but that's not that's not a bad extra that's not oh yeah I don't think we're done with her either I think she might me and Melita were first up for the massage it was decent to be fair obviously Christian got carried on to the massage table

21:04that's how you can't I don't know who wrote you can't just drop that in in the middle of the figure I was trying to concentrate it's unnecessary detail as well I realised what I'd said that's why I was laughing I wasn't laughing at them getting my head was going crazy at this point of what a strange situation I found myself in and what's the point of it all paranoia was creeping in every look I was getting I was starting to think this was a Truman show set up yeah I must admit I'd be anyhow Now, after a lemonade that I watched being poured, we hopped back in the car to my hotel. I got changed.

21:43They told me we'll be back for 6 p.m. to collect you for dinner. My head is still doing somersaults. I pulled my pants up and got ready. Out for dinner we went. The force of getting me to have an alcoholic drink was intensifying. But God bless non-specific urethesis. Urethesis. Whatever that sexual transmitted disease is. dropped in. No way I was hindering the antibiotics and stopping the leak and the itch for a bottle of pop. And plus, no way I was disrespecting dad's advice. During dinner there was a spare seat. So a sixth seat was just empty. Midway through, in comes what I can only describe as this Dutch goddess.

22:26I would say a nine and three quarters out of ten. Wow. I wonder I wonder what last quarter yeah what she needed yeah bless her they've got a right mixed bag at the table haven't they she sits next to me Adam's family and now I'm trying to piece together this jigsaw what the fuck is going on here Christian mentioned we are going to the pussy lounge in Eindhoven after this so I shot to the toilet text my mate to google the pussy lounge no such place ooh go go go go paranoia fully kicked in. But what sent me over the edge was when he stated that he likes watching men go at it as well. Cobbins.

23:14Just spoil it yourself. Now it's my time to leave. So I asked them to go. I want to go home now, was said I think. Much to their disappointment and reluctance, Melita drove me back to the hotel, where I thought an itchy wank was the safe option. In the morning, just her comes and picks me up and to my surprise takes me shopping. She bought me a Montclair hoodie, a pair of scotch and soda jeans, and we go for a drink. Back to the airport I went. She hands me the cash in an envelope and I fly back unscathed. New trousers, new hoodie, and£1 ,800 in my skyrocket, but still a leaky cock and an itchy helmet.

24:00one too many footman references isn't he I decided to hang my boots up with escort and leave on a good note with fond memories and lessons learnt I understand it was a choice but still I was transferred across the border is this classed as being sex trafficked if so to put it bluntly it's underrated but not for everyone mind you anyway lads thanks for taking the time to read this all the best and up the cosh well what a flipping rollercoaster so what's the question it was a tough read it was a tough read first things first has he got rid of the clap I know I'd like to think so a few years ago I mean he's done well at the situation really 1800 quid and he was doing some jeans and he's he's dived out at the right time you know this pussy the pussy lounge that's where it all could have changed yeah he had a choice to make there he made sea junction see yeah I think it's an opportunity missed do you think he could have getting extra funds like I'll do it but it's going to cost you more than 1800 i think copping is in the corner i know but the thing is you can run away from coppings can't you yeah coppings coppings comes for you you can just move out of the way run upstairs yeah but there's a nine and three quarters out of ten and a young 23 year old redhead yeah he could have had the time of his life yeah i think he hasn't even addressed this has he that he's could have potentially missed the boat opportunity missed for me he could have gone the other way though put something in his drink he could have had he He could be having his organs harvest now.

25:27That's a bit of tech, isn't it? Sometimes in life you've just got to fucking fuck all your gut feel. That must go on all the time, by the way. Yeah. Do you think like these rich, lonely women taking young men out? I think I'd be all right. I think you might have missed the boat now. Well, yeah, it probably looks well. It not looks well. Never. but I reckon I could go and entertain a woman yeah how much would you charge per hour so I'm just what company realistically realistically like tenner for the feed in me and expenses tenners and expenses and some snap so you could come home 50 quid in your pocket well fed 10 peronies empty sack are you allowed to kiss huh jobs are good some don't allow kissing do they 12 pound an hour is that yeah what is it called when they're like they know they escorts when they're expensive ones i think they've got a name on like premium no high class high class i think that you're better off just putting a ridiculous price like 300 quid an hour and if someone's going to pay that then yeah you know you could just join up and go around i'm going to set an unrealistic thing and if you get the nod that's brilliant like five or six hours with your love.

26:50Specialists as well though, isn't there? You know, some like want a hunk. Some want like a sweaty, sweaty man. Do you have to shag him? I think it's on request in it. Like you said, if you want another hour. Yeah, to the cost. Yeah. Some just want company. I imagine. I'd be fantastic at that. Imagine telling me all about, telling me all about under the cost on that. How long until you're telling me you've had an e-replacement? Well, I must say, look, I can't get into all the positions you might want me to. Doris. How long before you say it's a big pitch at Wembley? Do you know what scored at Wembley, love?

27:29Watching this goal here, it was like, how did Robson Carney win the Euros? It's a good one for the lads, that, the winner. Oh, what? Going back to an Eero, aren't you? Yeah. New jeans? And them Montclair, what is it about? They're about a fucking£1 ,500, them bastards. Is that a rate, fucking? I wonder what my leader was like. Did he say? It sounds like. His memories are this. He's focusing on whether he was sex traffic rather than what could have been. I think he's an opportunity missed for me. He'll sell out Coppins. You're not getting involved, but I'll take the 23-year-old redhead. I'll take the 9.3 quarters and then obviously he's already shagged lasso before, isn't he?

28:14Would you not let Coppins anywhere near the room? Oh, he can sit at corner. that's all he wants. that sound. No bother. Just wheel him in and put his brake on. Time to, time to summit. Oh, put a lollipop stick in his wheel. Then you can hear him coming. Before the season even kicks off, soccer fans are already making predictions. Who wins the league? Who qualifies for Europe? And who's lifting the trophy at season's end? On Calci, America's number one prediction market platform, you're trading against peers in a live market, meaning there's no house. And as the probability changes, you can buy in and out of your position.

28:52For a limited time, download the Calci app and use code CUP26 to get$10 when you trade 10. K-A-L-S-H-I, Calci. Trade the beautiful game. 18 plus only restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. Event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Prices, values, and available markets may differ from those mentioned. For more information, see calci.com slash regulatory. Hey, Chicago. Class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local croc store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it.

29:29Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest croc store today. Kosh's courtroom. Did we have a courtroom last week? Yeah. Court is adjourned. No. What is it when court... What's... Court in... What do they say when you start? Dismissed. That's when you've finished as well. What do they say when you start? Ready, steady, go. Court is in process, I believe. Hi, lads. Love the pod. Feel free to blah this out, but I needed you to know you have got me through some proper shite stages of my life.

30:11Friday Club has been the lift that I need to forget all the other shit that currently surrounds me. Please we didn't. Blah, blah, blah, that. please keep me anonymous as this could lead to a real shitstorm anyways I need some advice it's a bit of a mess and I'm stuck banging the middle for the purpose of anonymity I have changed names of all involved Fred is married to Wilma

30:41it's recently been brought to my attention that Wilma is shagging Barney I have been asked to keep this to myself but as time has gone I feel the right Roger Hunt for not reporting back to Fred Problem is I regard both Fred and Barney as real good mates knowing them both as long as each other and they know each other also I have seen messages from Wilma to Barney claiming she loves him and wants to be with him but I don't know who else has send them messages so if I report back to Fred and he confronts the cheating pair it could be fairly obvious that I have done what I was asked not to do and reported my knowledge back to Fred.

31:30The situation is doing my head in. I realise I will probably lose a good mate over this situation I have unwillingly been put in but I have decided whatever you boys decide I will follow through with. fuck oh he needs to know don't he he needs to know I mean so yeah you I'm on to Barney Barney what the fuck are you doing which one I'm of lost Fred and Wilma together Barney's Shag and Wilma yeah it's a C Barney and say Barney what are you doing and I get the feeling Barney's going to has he given himself a character er yeah Penelope it stopped he's Barney's going to him and showing him the messages and stuff so I think that's a bit of a it's a bit of a constrict really innit do you know what I mean no one of his mates I don't think we can call Barney anything else by a cunt yeah but he's in a bad position he's stuck in the middle innit he needs to know I think he needs to he needs to know I'd want to know I think I think Barney's just got to take it on the chin and...

32:40Yes, I was out of order. I've got to expect. Yeah, I don't think he can... He can't have the moral high ground, can he? No, he can't fall out with... Who's he again? Bebbles. He's the husband. Fred. No. Barney. No, the one who's been told. The lad who was emailed in. Yeah, Barney can't have the ump with him. No, but thingy can have the hump. Fred can. Fred can have the hump with him for not telling him. So I think he needs to tell him. Barney's just got to take it on the chin. Barney can't have no moral idea. He's going to get a whole lot of rubble of all, isn't he? A whole lot of rubble!