Jermaine Beckford | Bang Bus

32:12So the ball's come in, I've bounced my arm off him and I've fallen down to the floor. He said, that's rubbish, do it again. When you see you bounce it off him, this is imaginary him, innit? No, no, no. It's him. He's the defender. So he's standing behind me, put a little bit of pressure on my forearm on my back. So I've got him here and he goes, right, go down now. So I've got to fake diving. So I've gone into the changing rooms afterwards and the boy said, Bex, what were you doing out there with the gaffer? We saw you. Did he push you? Did he push you on the floor or something? Is everything all right?

32:44I said, mate, you just teach me how to dive. not score goals none of this stuff just just win three kicks i was like mate this is this is it i didn't know this is what professional football was something new mate something new how was it left with booth right if i get my timeline right was that the playoff that was the playoff final season where we ended up leeds ended up playing watford at cardiff stadium before the game i've seen i saw um ade boothroyd and he said congratulations on you guys making it here but just so you know you made the wrong choice we're going to win today and um i remember sitting down in the in the changing rooms and the gaffers going through the team sheet the starting 11 i'm like didn't expect to start i'm going to be the last name on the um on the subs bench because that's where i've been uh every game this season uh since i've signed up not a problem and then it got to the subs sub number one two three four five six seven and like my name's still not called out so i'm thinking all right there's one more sub and he said the rest of you boys are up in the stands and i'm looking around i'm like oh sugar i was like sorry gaffer did you say my name he said no no no you're up there with the uh with the boys i was like oh damn it damn it i'm not saying i would have made a massive difference i'm not but my skill set was something completely different to the boys that we had at the time they were all technically better than me Robbie Blake um Richard Creswell David Healy um Eddie Lewis all of these guys flipping amazing football players technically uh physically physically probably finishing wise I would say finishing wise they're better than me as well but because I had a different level of self-belief in my self-belief I was raw defenders didn't know they they weren't going to know what I was going to do because I didn't know what I was going to do, you know?

34:40So I was kind of like, I was disappointed. I didn't get an opportunity to be on the bench to possibly offer something that could have been different. And, you know, I could have maybe created something for somebody else. I could have maybe created something for myself. I could have made a great movement and created a nice bit of space for one of the other boys to run in and do their job. It just wasn't meant to be. And I remember seeing ady bufroyd after the game had finished and he came up to me and said i told you i told you didn't need that did you i didn't need that mate i didn't need that i wanted to give him one in the uh no i'm joking um but it was yeah it was it was it was mental but at the same time listen don't get me wrong i was i was devastated i was fuming but i was fuming for the club i was fuming for the fans I was fuming for the players but on a personal level it didn't make that much of a difference to me because of the massive step that I'd already made and I ended up going out on loan the following season anyway to to Carlisle which I was able to score my first ever professional goal so it will always have a special place in my heart and then my second loan spell the same season was to Scunthorpe.

35:55And for me, the Scunthorpe move was amazing, amazing for a number of reasons. I was playing regularly. I was playing regularly in a team that were flying high, doing well, full of confidence, but also a team that had players that I knew. You know, Billy Sharp was in there as well. Joe Murphy, the goalkeeper. I'd known him. Andy Keogh, who went on to play for Leeds. There were a lot of boys that I'd already known. So again, the Carr School from Leeds down to Scunthorpe on a personal level was great because I got to incorporate myself in a new group of players, a new gang of players. And that helped to make me fit in with the rest of the team nice and easily.

36:44so I ended up going there scoring eight eight or nine eight eight goals in 17-18 games we got promoted as champions but at the same time that we got promoted with Scunthorpe Leeds got relegated so instead of being in the Premier League one season taking a season out and ended up in League One so on a personal level it was devastating for the club but I know I know I've been here before I've done it before. I can score goals in this league with all due respect in a team, in a squad that were nowhere near as good as the one that, that Leeds United had as well. So if, if we're able to create anywhere near as the same amount of chances, mate, we're going to be, we're going to fly.

37:27Are you getting better here? Like as a player, can you feel yourself getting better? Yeah. Personal confidence. Yeah. Confidence is flying higher. Confidence is flying higher. and again because I was quite lucky that I went to a team that played to my strengths anyway before I signed up so they they Scunny played on the counter-attack they dominated the ball they put the ball in behind they played into the channels they squeezed up this this is um there are a lot of my attributes you know like if we could play on the counter-attack there's not many players in the league that could keep up with me let alone beat me in a race so the first thing I said when I signed up was to Cleveland Taylor said look when you pick the ball up I'm quick so just that area between the the left center half and the left back clip it into there it just just in just far enough that the defenders are gonna have to turn I guarantee you I'll be on the end of it so he he would do that the same on the other side and I would get in and I'll cut the ball back or I'd have a shot on goal or I'd try and do something so straight away they were like right well this guy knows his game he knows his strengths his weaknesses and we're playing to his strengths as well and that worked so everybody bought into the same message everybody believed in each other and that was that was hugely beneficial and you can take that to Leeds then the next season because you've you've got that experience playing at Scunny yeah the players will know what your strengths are they'll have seen you and you're more established now to go back and go lads this is what we need to do this is how i want you to play to my strengths rather than signing from wellston wheelston you're a you haven't got that authority kind of thing to to start demanding well i demanded a lot from everybody but at the same time that's because i just wanted i wanted to win i've always wanted to i hate losing i hate drawing i always want to win everything like i play chess with my little boy at home i'm not letting him win if he beats me it's because he deserves to beat me he's grounded.

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43:11You say that you're going into that season in League One full of confidence in what you've done the previous season, but still, you're at Leeds United, chance of promotion, but you're still going in with a 15-point deduction. Yeah, that was fun. That was fun. You've got an uphill battle. Yeah, do you know what, right? What you realise quickly about Leeds United is it's a family. And it's a tight-knit family as well. So yes, we had the 15-point deduction. Dennis Wise, Gus Poiet, were the gaffer and assistant manager. And they wrestled a lot of feathers, don't get me wrong. But at the same time, I flipping love both of them.

43:53And I respect them both immensely and very, very highly because they built the team around the attacking players, but also managed to take a lot of the pressure off of us as players by saying whatever it was they said in the media at the time. So everybody that was watching Leeds or following Leeds or saw the message about Leeds United, they would say, oh, Leeds are struggling, but Dennis and Gus. You know, they wouldn't say anything about us, the players. So that gave us a little bit of, we can relax here. Lads, let's just go out and play our game. so we knew that we knew we were the best team in the league and I don't mean to say that sounding egotistical or anything it was it was the belief that they installed in us during pre-season trips it was the belief they installed in us when they were training apart from when we were training apart from when Dennis and Gus decided to join in training with us where they were clearly the best players ever honestly they were so flipping good Gus could have carried on playing he could have He could have joined in with our team and carried on playing and been in a shout for team of the season.

45:03Like it was nuts. It was so good. But what they did, they installed a self-belief. They installed it's us against the world mentality. And I think the biggest thing for us was the first game of the season, we won. So we're not on minus 15 anymore. We're on minus 12. But what that did was it said to the rest of the league, Leeds have had a good start to this season. The following game we won. so we're down to nine points everybody's looking over their shoulders thinking oh geez tell you what they're on something here then we won again we won again we won again we're on zero points after five games we won again we're off the bottom of the league I'm pretty sure we won again I think we won seven in a row and we're starting to make waves it was unbelievable you know we had such a great set of lads a great bunch of lads who would do anything for each other and we're a lot of us are still still in contact with each other now you know we still speak now when you're on the pitch you're football friends there's a terminology football friends but when we were off the pitch outside of football outside of the training ground we were best mates and we'd do everything together so we'd go out shopping we'll go to restaurants we'll go go-karting we'll do whatever it is we'll go out and we'll be together and we'll have a laugh and a joke so we built a camaraderie outside of football so that when we started playing football we believed in each other and we'll run through brick walls for each other and we're you know if if my friend's in a in a sticky predicament i'm going to help him out and i'm going to make it easy for you as you're going to make it easy for me so that helped us that helped to propel us up the league and and get us really really really really close to where we needed to be outside looking in yeah it seems harsh because i've got to hear that he was dennis wise was sacked when he's with fifth is that right yeah and when you said he ruffled a few feathers was that is it politics beyond above what what went on there um for minus 15 points there's always there's always going to be um conflict in every football club and you can you can look at any club anywhere around the world um between the owner the sporting director director of football manager coaches players there's always going to be some kind of disagreement discontent somewhere along the way and I think with the Dennis one he ended up moving on to Newcastle which on a personal level was incredible for him so I think he was working a few less days or hours and he was getting paid a little bit more.

47:47And he didn't have to deal with the almost daily conflict with the powers above. And I'm trying to read between the lines. I'm trying to read between the lines. Now, Ken is amazing. Ken Bates is amazing. And I say that on a personal level. I know, again, he's another person that a lot of fans, I would argue 99%, maybe more, really, really dislike him. And I'm being brutally honest. I'm being brutally honest. No, not really, Ken. And I understand why, for obvious reasons. You know, he took the club, he got the club into administration, he bought it back for a pound. So a lot of the fans were like, this guy's just fleecing the club, fleecing the club dry.

48:39Yeah. The reason I say he was amazing, he was amazing for me on a personal level because I'd been through a few really tricky personal situations and he knew that and he helped me out through them. I saw another side of him and I saw the human side of him rather than the businessman side of him. The businessman side is ruthless. He's ruthless. But that's why he's become the incredible businessman that he has. you know and you have to take away whatever he's done to to league united or chelsea or whatever it may be forget all of that take all the personal feelings and put them to one side and just look at it from a solely business perspective same with dennis unbelievable businessman but at the same time absolute twat but at the same time i i can understand 100 why you say that and i i've seen it i've seen it firsthand and there's a part of me that's been like why on earth has he done that but then the businessman side um his bottom dollar is is ultimately the the end goal i get a phone call from him um most most christmases birthday slash christmas and like the first thing he says to me is jermaine are you mate you okay yeah i'm good thanks ken how are you i'm all right hey did i ever tell you about the first time i made my first million I was 17 years old.

50:09And I'm like, Ken, I don't care unless I'm in your will, mate. What are you telling me that for? So, you know, when you understand the person, then you understand the business. By the way, happy birthday. I never get it. I never get the happy birthday or Merry Christmas. It's always, yeah, yeah. And in my second million, I made, I was this age. I was like, oh, mate. But that's him. that's him in a nutshell so um yeah i the conflict between between those guys you know and it was always going to be there because they're both very fiery characters they're both very passionate characters um and both very driven so um you know he ended up dennis ended up leaving and that was a shame because again he was the manager that helped me believe in myself and he built the team around the forward players, myself being included.

51:00So he gave me that opportunity. Someone asked who your favourite of a strike partner was and why is it Becchio?

51:09I loved playing up front with Lucci. I love playing with Trez as well. Both of them are sort of similar in many ways, but... Who's Trez? Trez or Kando. Oh, right. Please do ask, because I was thinking exactly... I'll take the hit for you. Yeah. Lucci was unbelievable. Unbelievable. He came over from Barcelona B. He didn't speak any English. His English was terrible. So I used to, I took it upon myself, strike partners, strikers union. Like we look after each other. So I said to him, right, English is okay or no? He said, no, no good. Little, little. I said, okay, don't worry. I'll look after your pal.

51:51So ended up taking him to a restaurant. So we're sitting down. and obviously his English is not good at all. So he said, Bex, I want to eat this one. Moo. Steak. So in my mind, I'm like, oh, he wants a steak. So I've gone, all right, no problem. So what you say is, please may I shit. Yes? He says, okay. okay, please may I shit? Shit? I said, yes, shit. So the waiters come over and there's a few of us there and taking his order, taking his order, taking his order, taking my order. It's got to Lucci. Hello, please can I shit here? This shit. And the waiters gone, no, I said, steak. He wants a steak.

52:52I said, Lucha, I'm so sorry. And he looked at me with daggers, mate. He was throwing daggers at me. I was like, oh, shit. And he was quite solid as well. I was thinking, mate, I'm going to get dropped here. And as soon as he managed to order his meal, he disappeared. And he looked at me and said, ah, not good man, you, not good man. so little things there were lots and lots of little things that uh that were amazing i remember in in pre-season pre-season training we had to do we had to do doggies so we had to start on the the byline the touchline and then run to the 18 yard box to the edge of the six yard box to the halfway line to the 18 yard box to the opposite 18 yard box to the halfway line and finish up on the far byline.

53:37I'm not a long distance runner. So for me, this is absolutely brutal, right? My aerobic capacity was next to nothing. So Luciano and I decided that we're going to make a pact. Bex, stick with me. I'll stick with you. We won't go too fast. We'll just be side by side. I was like, Luci, that sounds perfect to me, mate, because I've not got anything else in me. So we're running, right? So we do the first doggy back to the six-yard box, to the halfway line, back to the 18-yard box. And as we're running from the 18-yard box to the opposite 18-yard box, we get about 10 yards away from the center circle.

54:13And he just goes... Bzzz. Mate and four's on the floor. He's like literally choking. So I'm like, mate, Lucio, you okay? He said... I said, what, a fly? He said, fly, fly, fly. And he's on the floor rolling around. Bex, don't stop running. That's all I hear the gaffers shouting from the touchline. Gary Mack shouting from the touchline. I'm like, mate, Luchu, you freaking idiot. I'm trying to keep up with the goalkeepers now. They're flipping 20 feet ahead of me. I was like, oh, mate, he's absolutely sold me a kipper. I was fuming with him. He came in afterwards and to this day, he's adamant he swallowed a fly.

54:55Absolute nonsense, mate. Nonsense, mate. I don't think that's enough to make you go down though, is it? Even if you do swallow a fly. Thank you. My argument. That's my argument. Go down. We were expecting a rapid response. Defib and everything. What's an animal noise though? Mate. Moobs. So we got on like an absolute house on fire. Even to this day, like we do every year, we do a tour around the UK and it's just great. It's great to see him. It's great to listen to his perspective, his side of the stories, all of the stories that we talk about and situations that we both found ourselves in, not just at Leeds, but different football clubs as well.

55:37And he can speak English now, yeah? Yeah, yeah, I taught him well, mate. Yeah. I taught him well. Duolingo. Yeah, he's a top man. What are you, Evie? No, no. He always looked heavy. No, no, no, no. He was solid. He was solid. Sorry, Luciano, but we're hoping you were going to say yeah then. No, no, no, no. Do you know what? He was ripped. He was ripped. All of us were. We kind of had no choice. We had no choice. Body fats every couple of days, every week. They weren't fun. Remember the pincers? yeah oh they're brutal i've got nothing to pinch onto now not as accurate as i'd have liked for either there was no accuracy no it's whatever they wanted because i remember sometimes they were pinched just the skin and then others they would they would like they would go right in right in so there was there was the accuracy was very loose to say the least i used to hate them but remember when we got in the pods the pods were accurate and I was 17s 17s?

56:43right up there I was 15 and a half I was buzzing I've never been that in my life 17s I was fat cunting him off you fat dropped the exposure oh my god you've not mentioned like you said you went out for meals go-karting and all that you never mentioned Townhouse did you ever get in there? I don't know what you mean Townhouse was sick it was so much fun it must have been a good a good place to play football leeds if you're a leeds player doing well yes it was like you get a lot of attention um and it was it was amazing what i found crazy and i'm i'm i'm coming from a council estate i'm coming from working at racs and i worked in warehouses i worked in restaurants i worked in offices i worked in supermarket supermarkets i i've done the rounds what i found mentally bizarre was that when we got to the doorway of these places, townhouse, chili whites, and so on and so forth, you didn't get ID'd and you didn't have to pay to go in.

57:46And then you go and sit at the table, which is free. Or you go to restaurants and you sit and eat for free. I didn't understand any of that. Class. Yeah. Listen, it's not a complaint. but but you get any free restaurants no you didn't get an undone surprise no oh mate that was mental i took the absolute biscuit out of that no

58:14they probably looked at you and said 17 body fat now we're not giving him a That fart bastard, not me. I'm only 15 and a half. Oh, mate. So it was great. But I met my missus quite early into my playing days. Not because, like, so I met her through a mutual friend initially, and we just hit it off. She was flipping. She's amazing. She's so funny, down to earth. Like, she's bonkers like me. So we just got on really well. So whenever I went out to places like that, she'd come with. Safety. um so i've seen the other side i've seen the carnage like the real carnage carnage and i'm glad i'm glad i'm not involved in that i i never i never want to be and i've never wanted to be on the front page of any newspaper or any magazine that's that that's just not my cup of tea we might have been done with this one but did you have an rac van with a mattress in the back No, no mattresses.

59:17No, no, no, no. I don't know what you've been told, mate. Is that what they call her? Fucking Bonnie, is it Bonnie Blue? Jermaine's Bang Bus? Bang Bus. Jermaine's Bang Bus. No way. Freaking mattress in the back. Fucking cameras set up in the top corners of that. We've got a question like that. No, no Bang Buses around here, mate.

59:46oh my god no mattresses i did turn up to matches matches in the rac van when i was playing for rac i did do that um but in terms of action no mattress no no no i did i did uh mate i've never that's thrown me sideways that's decent that talking about your wife I read a quote from your wife saying that she always knew if you'd score in a game depending on your mood in the morning is there some truth in that yeah I'm just wondering if you're a family friend like ringing what mood's he in is it one for five or one I'm just wondering like what mood would make you score if you're angry or if you're happy horny well I've got to be honest with you right I had sex a couple of years ago the morning of a cricket game That's the last time you had it, yeah.

1:00:38It's been twice since then. And I got 100. I got 100. And I'd had sex that morning. So did you like plant the seed? Yeah, I've not had 100. I've not had 100 since. But I keep telling her I have. I forget. I think I played better when I was angry. Like when I was on edge. I used to love getting a little bit physical with the defenders. Back in the day was great. Like nowadays football is rubbish in comparison because we played by the dark arts. Like dark arts were great, weren't they? Like you can... I think David Ford at Millwall can elaborate on this. Oh, mate. It's his own flipping fault, matter of fact.

1:01:21Received a violent conduct charge for elbowing David Ford v Millwall. What charge did he get? Exactly nothing. He started it. All right. I'm not your lawyer. I was minding my own business, mate. You're not in front of the FA now. Oh, man. I was fuming. I was fuming. Like, obviously, the rivalry between Leeds and Mill was massive. Absolutely massive. Brutal. I remember going down to the den and being on the team coach. And there's one way in, one way out. And they were throwing bricks and rocks and all sorts and smashed windows and punctured tires. I was bricking it. I was so nervous going into that game.

1:01:55Because in my mind, mate, we're just going to play a game of football. But when you realize how passionate these fans are and what it means to them all, mate, it's freaking nuts. Take the personal element out of it from being a player and going onto the pitch. When you look at what it means to this guy and his family, against this guy and his family, oh my God, it's mental. So straight away, we're playing at Ellen Road. So we've got a corner and I'm standing, I always stand on the goalkeeper. I try and put him off. I try and clamp his arm underneath my arm. So when he jumps up, he's only got one arm, drops the ball, we'll do a little back heel, cheeky couple goals a season.

1:02:32Nice and cushy. Have a good Sunday. Exactly. Great Sunday. But I remember, so I'm standing next to 40, and he's a big boy. He's a big boy. Is he 6 '5-ish, give or take? And so I'm standing side by side with him. Then he gets in front of me, and then just bang, stamps down on my toe, breaks my big toe. And my instant reaction, I didn't think about what I was doing. It was just my reaction, was, ah, Khrush. and I've just I've just clocked him in the jaw good noise I couldn't I couldn't do that myself you should have heard me in the car on the way here

1:03:21so I've caught him I think I've I think he's he may have fractured or broken his jaw or something I can't remember and so the referee's not seen it He's seen there's some kind of melee and he's given me a booking and he probably should have sent Fordy off, but he didn't do anything. The game's carried on and we finished the game. The result, I cannot remember what the result was. What I do remember is finishing the game and going into the players' lounge. And on Sky Sports News in the players' lounge on the screens, it's me going whack, just catching him. And saying that the FAA are looking into the incident at Ellen Road between myself and Fordy.

1:04:02I got done. I think I got a naughty fine and I think I got probably a three or four game ban, which was fair. It should have been. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. There was no thought process that went into it. It was just instinct. We've seen each other since. We are cool. Yeah. On my part anyway. Was that the season you played them in the semi-finals? Quite possibly. I've put that section of football away and thrown it in the ocean because it was brutal. I was going to say, I didn't realise how... It was horrible, man. The playoff, because there was Doncaster defeat. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no.

1:04:44There was the Watford defeat. For me on a personal level, Watford defeat. Then two years later, Doncaster, we lost 1-0 at the playoff final. And then the following season, lost in the semifinals over two legs to Millwall. and then the following season was finally we managed to get promoted so which is not of a club it was tough man it was infield at that time because that season that you're up 34 goals in all competitions that season there must have been championship clubs i mean premier league clubs interested or whispers and yeah there's there's always going to be clubs sniffing around isn't there any player that's doing well in in whichever league um so there were there were a couple during my time at Leeds I've had um I've had offers from Benfica from Braga from Celtic from Newcastle I've had really good offers from like some amazing amazing football clubs it might have been my final season at Leeds uh Newcastle came in again and they said what's Jermaine's availability like for January because my contract's up at the end of the season I was chasing a new contract with the club but for one reason or another there were there were literally no talks being held and it was it was extremely frustrating so the conversation was is he going to be available in the summer in January or do we have to wait until the summer and And at the time I was, uh, I was trying to get a new contract with leads not happening.

1:06:22And I was advised, maybe you should put a contract, uh, transfer request in to put a little bit of pressure on the owners to say, right, well, I need to make sure that I, I know what's happening with my future of the club at the club. Um, I want to stay. Obviously, you know that because we've, we've put X amount of emails forward and we, we, We want to sign a new contract. I was looking for a long-term contract because Leeds is an unbelievable football club. Great fan base. Is it still Ken? Still Ken. No. That was pretty decent. That was good. You scared me for a second. Never met the bloke. Never met the bloke.

1:07:02Kids here. 18, my second million. 17 and a half. So it was partially to put pressure on the owner, but it was also like I need to know what's happening. Sure you pissed off a little bit. So I'm pissed but I love the place. I don't want to leave. I'm settled. I'm comfortable. I'm playing some of the best football in my life. I'm so happy. I don't want to go anywhere but I also don't want to leave on a free transfer at the end of the season because it's kind of, it's weird. So there was an element of if I can get something back for the club from me then that might soften the blow a little bit of me leaving on a free but ultimately it just, it wasn't to be.

1:07:46And after, it didn't last long. After a short amount of time, I retracted my transfer request anyway because I didn't feel comfortable with it. Where are we at in the season at this point, like timeline-wise, roughly? Oh, mate, I don't know. Genuinely, I don't know. It's before January, isn't it? I think it was just before January. And they still haven't, did they actually open talks? No, nothing. Didn't even open talks. didn't even open talks like i if he would have offered me three years four years on the same money but bonus incentivized mate i would have taken it i would have taken it so i wasn't looking to to break the bank or take the mick out of the club or anything like that far from it i just wanted to stay i love the club man and i think i think people now have been able to see that me being part of the club in the championship as an ambassador getting promoted as as an ambassador getting relegated as ambassador my thoughts and feelings and views on the club have never changed have never waned you know um it's just frustrating that it wasn't covered well from my perspective so that fans could say do you know what we kind of understand it because from the outside looking in it looks a little bit it looks a bit did you get stick at the time yeah of course i did of course oh we've done all sorts for you and this is how you repay the club blah blah blah and there's an element of it i absolutely 100 % understand i get it if you don't know all the facts and if you don't know all the facts about it it looks like a ridiculous thing to to say or do but when you delve deeper into it and then you you find out that on my side we've been trying to to get an extension and there's no conversations happening at all in the slightest then what do you want me to do it's just it's just annoying me do what again but like no time's passed yeah would you no do it different no based on what i know now yeah no no because the the the main reason i did it was to put pressure on the guys upstairs did it work no so would i do it again knowing what i know now absolutely not because all that does is it creates a small fracture between myself and the fan base and the fan base are the ones that appreciated and respected and gave me the the backing that i needed and the support that i needed to to go from where i was when i started when i where i made my debut against crystal palace up until the final game of the season against Bristol Rovers.

1:10:27Without those fans getting right behind me and giving me that appreciation and the time, I would never have been able to be the player that I was there. So no, I wouldn't have handed it in again. Was that your last game for Leeds? The Bristol Rovers game. You scored the goal to get Leeds up. That was the last game. Yeah. Winner as captain. Yeah. outrageous at home as well 1-0 down down to 10 men no contract no contract we're going to turn out tonight but that's another part of the the confusion and frustration on my part is right well I'm going to withdraw my my transfer request forget all of that Jermaine forget all of that's happened let's just go and do what we need to do play the football that we know play the football that we love in front of the people that you you really appreciate and let's go and get promoted right so we got to it got to the final game of the season bristol rovers and i'm i'm the captain and i'm buzzing it's the first time in my in my career that i've been captain of of this mental football club it's absolutely incredible and there was a part of me that was thinking right well i'm on 29 goals so i've managed 20 20 in my first season playing 34 last season 29 this season surely, surely you don't want to let all of those goals go out the window surely, on a free I think he's just playing hardball maybe he just wants me to drop my my wage demands even though it's the same as what I'm on now so when we ended up doing the miraculous comeback down to 10 men etc and I scored the winner as captain, changed positions, still, you know, the teams firing on all cylinders, doing really, really well.

1:12:24There was a part of me that thought as soon as the full-time whistle went and we've gone into the changing rooms, I thought I was going to get the hook upstairs, contract paper in front of me, right. You know me, Bex, I play hardball, here's a contract, sign it, sign it and let's just get on with it, let's go home. That's what I genuinely thought was going to happen. No. No. Disappointing, frustrating. And I was genuinely, I was sad, man. I was really, really sad. Because that was an end of an era. How do you do that? Yeah. Plenty of people asked about, was that when Gradle got sent off? Yeah.

1:13:01Yeah, yeah, yeah. And loads of people mentioned him, how hard was it to get him off the pitch? Mate, he's like a little ninja turtle. I was flipping trying to pick him up. He's like a rock. I was like, huh? You're tiny. Pick him up like a single child eventually. Yeah, he lost the plot, mate. his head fell off, but he's one of those players, he's emotional, he wears his heart on his sleeve. But that's why he's gone on to become, I think at one point he was African player of the year, played for the Ivory Coast as captain. He's gone out to France. He's been genuinely incredible football player, but you could always see he had that.

1:13:34Did you have to frog match him off? Yeah, I picked him up like a small child. Come here, sweetheart. Yeah, I did, I did. Do you know what? But it was frustrating because it was the first time in my career that I was like, be sensible now, Jermaine. Don't scream and shout at him. Don't grab him or anything. Talk to him on a personal level. I was like, Max, you've just been sent off. Never has a red card been overturned in a game. All you're going to do is turn your three-game ban next season, the beginning of next season, into a four, five, six games. You don't want that. You don't want that. We need you here.

1:14:09He didn't listen. So I was just like, balls to this. Just grabbed him and just picked him up. It's a waste of time, that talk, innit? It's a waste of time, innit? Yeah. I talked to him in the changing room. So, yeah. Along with the bang bus question, another one was about your watcher, am I wearing, bruv? Are you being serious? Yeah. Genuinely. No, no. That's the, that's the phrase. Oh, right. Right. I didn't get that. Where was that in the timeline of the season and what was it? What were you thinking? That wasn't that season. That was, that was the Dennis Wise. So Wyze was the gaffer. So again, I'm playing well, scoring goals.

1:14:48That was the season I finished on 20. So we're... Oh, where are we? I think we're coming up to January, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, we're coming up to January. And Newcastle showed an interest. The first of two or three times they showed an interest. And I had a conversation with Dennis Wyze beforehand and he said, look, you're my guy. You're my striker. you and Trez up front, Trez or Kando up front the beginning of the season you lot have been doing so well for me there's a contract offer on the table we need to get through this next week or so you're going to be asked about the interest from Newcastle from whatever other clubs are out there just tell them where to go so obviously we're playing I don't remember who we played against I scored, I had a really good game so I'm being interviewed MOM after the game going through the usual questions congratulations on scoring a goal and being the man of the match how does it feel I'm like yeah it's great this that and the other and he said finally all of the interest that's been surrounding you at the moment there's lots of football clubs out there that are interested in you what have you got to say about that I went what shirt am I wearing bro are you being serious mate when i tell you we ended up getting them printed straight away flipping 25 of all shirts it was great it was great it was literally just off the cuff it was something that was off the cuff it wasn't pre-planned it wasn't none of that stuff it was um i've always been one of those guys every now and then i just say something random just to get a reaction from from the interviewers And I just happened to be on Sky Sports and that question came out and that's what my brain decided to throw out into the ether.

1:16:41And yeah, here we are. It's a bruv, isn't it? It reminded us of Anana. Oh, Andre. It's not even my first name, bruv. But it was the way his accent changed. He was like, where is he from? Is he French or Belgian? He's Belgium. He's Belgium, yeah. And it was for the national team, right? And all of a sudden, Andre's not even my real name, bro. I said, oh, no, no, mate, you just, Matt, you flippin' nailed it, mate. You absolutely smashed it. That was golden.

1:17:14Quick break, gentlemen, to talk about, in my eyes, the greatest sportswear company in the world. You've laid it on thick, but I'm with you. Yeah. Phenomenal. The O 'Neill slash Kosh family. That's a bit much. And not just because they sponsor the series, they support the podcast, but we've got our own shirts, and the quality is second to none. Especially if you've got your own team, you can design your own kit, can't you? Yeah. Get on there, design your own kit. Any sizes from small to 7XL? How long can they have them with you, John? Four to six weeks from start to finish to delivery. Is there a minimum order?

1:17:56I'd say I've got to order seven, but apart from that they'll make you a million if you want one from them. There's nothing better than that knock at the door the box arriving you know how good it's going to be going to training next week to show everybody that our first match kids are buzzing from it aren't they? They're good for casual occasions now one of the lads bought one in the gym and he said he wore it in Benidorm and he said he's never received so many compliments on how he looks. It was. That's what we need then don't we? We need an under the cost vest for Benidorm. Yeah. That's what like a sports vest.

1:18:25Can you make that happen Chris? make that call string yeah by the way we could get 50 of them for my stag deal my sense to be fair some of the lads might be bigger than 7 7XL I'm out of you by then no but the link's in the description or just go over to the O 'Neill sportswear website get sort your own team out or just go and check out the under the cost shirts or all the other sports apparel the golf gears class good kit yeah

1:19:20I see you. Dream on Disney+. Rated PG-13. Well, Lorenzo, the pitch looked good. Yeah, so green. USA Keeper was decent enough. Didn't have much to do. Ugh, 99 minutes. Not a single goal. Well, Bet365 sure came through, though. I bet$10 and got$150 in bonus bets. Just for signing up. At least someone scored. Bet365. Winning is everything. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 21 plus only. Must be physically located in Illinois. T-C Supply, in-app only. Hey, I just Venmo'd you for rent. Nice. Now I can instantly spend it whether I'm checking out online with Venmo or using a Venmo debit card. Say more.

1:20:03More exactly. Because the more you do with Venmo, the more you get. Like earning up to 5 % cash back with Venmo Stash on a bundle of brands. So, order more pizza. The math demands it. Get the Venmo debit card. Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. See terms at Venmo.me slash stash terms. Venmo checkout not available at all merchants. Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA. If you could score one goal again, either Bristol Rovers at home or Old Trafford. Old Trafford. I'm surprised at that for some reason. Just out of those two? Yeah. Old Trafford. Just the feeling. Because of the history between the two clubs, you look at the disparity between the two clubs, where they were at the time that the teams played against each other.

1:20:53So one had just won the Premier League, was in the Champions League, going for Premier League titles, Champions League trophies as well. And the other one was in League One. So for us to be able to get one over on them in their own house as well, mate, we had 9 ,500 fans there, mate, every single day. Every day. I loved it. Loved it. That does surprise me as well. Because obviously it's a fantastic, fantastic, you're better than United away and all the players, but it's done after a week, isn't it? Is it though? Because in the grand scheme of things, you've got a game in the history and everything.

1:21:32When was the last time we beat them? Like between then and now or the 10 years prior, not 10, but five years prior or whatever it may be. The goal for the time as well. The goal at Bristol has been a culmination of 10 months. Yeah, of course. From everybody at the club and whatever, that goal has got your promotion. That got you to the next half of the FA Cup sound. Yeah, we've got Spurs and drew 2-2 at their place. Scored both of those as well, thanks for asking. That wasn't on the list, actually. While we're on it, Old Trafford goal, Merseyside derby. See, this is a stupid question. I'm not finished.

1:22:18It's impossible. It's literally an impossible question to answer for many reasons. So obviously like I'm a Leeds fan. I'm a massive Leeds fan and I love everything about the club. So that goal is for me as a Leeds fan, mate, come on, against them lot at their place as well to beat them freaking love it and my old man he used to be a man you fan as well so a little bit of a little bit of that as well merseyside derby mate it was my first it was my first derby as well um at anfield walking out of the tunnel uh and then you you see red all over the place and then you see a lovely section of blue and it oh mate it's i don't even know how to explain it and then the hat trick at wembley as well and you look at how many how many people how many people have scored a hat trick at we're exactly if it's a personal accolade you know i think don't get much i know more special i know and that season i think i think I scored a hat-trick in three separate competitions in the same season.

1:23:27Or that might have been my last playing for Leeds, I'm not sure. But again, that's another stat that I don't think many people have been able to do. So long-winded answer to your question is, I think that's a shit question. Next question. Shit answer. Just on timeline, so the Man U game, was that in the last year of your Leeds contract? and you scored two against Tottenham. In the January, January 3rd, yep. Also a Premier League team. Yep. Them two games probably got you your move to the Premier. Not the 85 goals before that, but yeah, probably. Do you know what I mean? No, I know what you mean.

1:24:08So clubs would look at that and say, do you know what? We were curious whether or not he could do it at this level. Now we're seeing him playing against Manchester United, scoring against them, playing against Tottenham Hotspur at their ground, scoring against them, not being overwhelmed by the magnitude of either occasion, being able to play up against Premier League quality, international quality players. Mate, I played on the same pitch as Luka Modric, Gareth Bale, Jermaine Defoe. I've worked with Rio, I've worked with Gary Neville. I know there's a massive rivalry between Leeds and Man United, but from a general football fan's perspective, mate I'm still like this is crazy you know Glenn Hoddle I worked with him I've worked there's there's it I can't I still can't fathom how fortunate I've been to to have been able to to play on the same pitch as these guys that one I used to look up to two I have learned from watched their clips on YouTube or match of the day or wherever it may be and and try to implement certain elements of their game.

1:25:18I played on the same team as Louis Saha, Tim Cahill, like Mikel Arteta. Like it's bonkers, man. The affection that you're talking about, your experiences now and the excitement. Like, obviously you didn't want to leave Leeds, but there's that massive excitement that you're going to be playing against some players every week, moving to the Premier League still. There's that pull. I'm a bit offended as not mentioned, like the fact that I managed to go on this podcast as well. with you boys as well come on no no no I'm talking about footballing rather than podcasting obviously you guys are number one I love you guys man great shows always always get that clip out Matty three seconds perfect just as we're doing the final thing what was that say that again sorry what was that question you're now getting the opportunity to go and play against them players every week you know you've talked about in cup games players that you were sharing the pitch with week in week out you want to stay at Leeds but now you've got to be excited about that opportunity to go and do it week in week out yeah listen absolutely I mentioned before like I used to watch match of the day sit down with my dad my brother Marcel and we used to watch match of the day sometimes we weren't allowed to stay up on a Saturday evening we'd have to watch it on a Sunday morning but we'd watch it and we'd talk about the games and we'd talk about players and we'd talk about the scenarios they found themselves the players found themselves in and how could they have been better or what how did he how was he able to score that goal how was he able to get into that position and for me to be able to now be one of the people that is on this show on match of the day and people are talking about my game and analyzing my game and possibly taking something from the way that I play and incorporating it into into their games and when I say there I mean like the younger generation, the 10, 12, 15 year olds, 20 year olds, whatever it may be.

1:27:17That's mental. It was a bucket list. It was bucket list moments. I've been able to tick all of these things off on my bucket list. Now I'm playing Premier League football week in, week out against some of the best players around the world. I remember playing against Man City and we pulled up to the Etihad and we've gone under the stadium in the team bus and we're getting off the team bus and I just see this blue and white jester's hat with the bells on it it's like the the three thingies with the the bells on the end and it's Balotelli and for the last year or two I've been watching this guy doing mad stuff on television he's in the news for setting off fireworks in the bathrooms and and like doing all sorts of crazy stuff and now I'm watching this guy and I'm playing against this guy.

1:28:02And Sergio Aguero, like one of the guys that I used to look up to and analyze his game and see how I can get better by following certain things that he does, certain movements. And like, that's just one of many, many examples of my perspective on being able to play in the Premier League. It was amazing. I just love to play football. I've always just wanted to play football. I've always wanted more football, more time, more time, more time. I want to play every single minute of every single game. And as much as I loved playing for Everton, and I loved it, I just wanted more. And I was told I wasn't going to play as many.

1:28:46So that in itself was a little bit of a kick in the teeth because I felt like I did pretty well there. I scored. Top scorer. Joint top scorer. Joint, yeah. Joint top goal scorer. I mean I would have loved to have played more minutes because I don't feel like I was left out or left behind in terms of the quality in terms of the ability of the players there I felt like I had enough to be able to do a bit more and score a few more goals and play a few more games which is what I was hoping for And were you up against your striker-wise when you were at Everton? Mate, our forward line was nuts it was myself, Louis Saha, Yakubu, Victor Anachebe, Tim Cahill and then behind us you had Mikel Arteta, Jack Rodwell, Ross Barkley, Fellaini, Ozzy.

1:29:45Yeah, I mean, we had a pretty solid squad, mate. Solid squad. Was there a bit of it, you know, before when I said, when you went to Scunthorne to play to your strengths, you know, when you went to Everton, was there a bit of working on stuff that you weren't good at? You know, you had to improve on holding the ball up rather than... It's a completely different game. Completely different game. So slow build up, hold up play is vital. Back to goal, not my strong point. Desperately needed to work on it. Not my strong point at all in the slightest. But at the same time, I loved playing for the club.

1:30:16I loved it. And as disappointing as it was that I wasn't able to stay there for longer, which I would have really, really enjoyed, I learned a lot. and I still speak to a few of the boys from that time as well, that generation, that era. So, you know, it's just perspective and it's outlook. So what happened is you had conversations with David Moyes because we didn't have 10 Premier League goals that season. What happened? Fuck you, son. I prefer your candidates. Well, I went on a free. I went on a free and a year later, they're being offered three and a half million plus plus add-ons so from that perspective they're they're looking at quick turnaround yeah money in the bank we've got like i mentioned the names we've got as strikers at the time as well so there was adequate cover for one of us leaving um and everton have not really in terms of the financials everton haven't been one of the massive spenders or um gainers in terms of the finances.

1:31:28So, you know, there's that famous Tesco saying, every little helps and very similar situation there. That's just my perspective. By the way, going back to what you said about signing you from League One, it's been an incredible bit of business for them, hasn't it? Exactly. Signing you on a free, getting goals out of you and then making profit. X amount, yeah, yeah. You know what you were saying before about how proud you are coming on the podcast and stuff. I think we pride ourselves on not hanging players out with dry. That's why they come on here. But somebody did say who's got the best away following Everton or Leeds.

1:32:04See, again, one of the things that I've found. Yeah, I know. Throw me a live grenade there. Yeah, nice one. So do you know what? I want to put the team.

1:32:20He knows it as well. That's why he's trying. You've got the best fans. The bricks quick. Absolute ruthlessness going on. Look, one of the things that I've been extremely fortunate about and I've not been shy in saying is there's so many similarities between the two clubs, which made it really easy for me to feel settled in both clubs. And that's the fan base, family feeling, the close knit community. it just made it super easy for me to feel like I'd been there for ages. And I remember having a conversation. It must have been after maybe a month or two of me being at the club. And I was having a chat with Mikel Arteta and we were sitting down, putting our boots on, getting ready to go out to training.

1:33:08And again, I've been there a month or two. And he said to me, my friend, I feel like I've known you for years. And I said, I feel like I've known you for years. And he said, no, no, no, no, no. that's not because of me because you're so open there's there's nothing that's off limits like you talk about how you're feeling in the moment you talk about what makes you feel good what makes you feel bad and blah blah blah but I said that doesn't necessarily only come from me that comes from that comes from this that comes from where we are it comes from um the community that's been that's been created at the club it comes from the physios and fitness coaches it comes from the young players coming through and the old senior players, the older senior players, it comes from the managers, it comes from the directors, it comes from everybody.

1:33:56And there's, it's very similar between Leeds and Everton, the history of the clubs, the size of the clubs, the community, the fan bases, the stadiums, obviously Everton have moved to the HD stadium now. But when we're talking about Goodison, there's lots of similarities. And I just felt so comfortable at both. It's an impossible question to answer. You should be a politician, you, Jermaine. I know. Unbelievable sitting on the fence. Take that one back. Have a listen to this, Kier.

1:34:29Shit question you need to finish off. That was a fantastic question. Shit times. Oh, mate. So were you happy to move to Leicester then? I was happy to move to Leicester, but I was disappointed to be leaving Everton if that makes sense so obviously I'd been through the situation that I'd been through at Everton but then when Leicester came in and said look like money to the money aside this is the project this is where we are this is where we're going and rest his soul Sven-Goran Eriksson was the gaffer at the time as well legend absolute legend lovely lovely man and the opportunity to work with him and learn from him and learn from his coaching staff and see some of the players that are there as well and and hear the project where they where they want to take the club what's um the the direction they want to take the club in sorry i was i was i was invested this is this is a genuine question but where was your motivation levels when you when you got to leicester because compared to when you first started out when i got to leicester oh mate football i just love football what i mean is you you've played in the premier league you've scored your goals and then i want to get back is that was that it you still got the drive because i've i've been there and i know that i can score goals there i want to get back there absolutely i want to play against the best of the best i do and if we're able to to have a mad european run as well or a long fa cup run or something like that mate why would i not want that and you know we've we've got a manager who knows um who knows football i don't know how else to word it, you know.

1:36:11Why would I not? That was my motivation, desperate for it. I finished off second top goalscorer behind Dave Nugent. So I think Nugent got 16 and I got 15 or he got 17 and I got 16, something like that. So we're doing all right. We're doing well. It took me a little while to kind of, I started picking up a couple of niggling injuries. So it kind of slowed my progress a little bit. Hamstring here, lower back there, calf First time in your career that you'd really suffered from... No, no, no. Hamstrings... Constant injuries. Hamstrings always. Yeah. That's what happens when you have sports cars and you're quick.

1:36:50It is. It is. It's stupid. Get an insignia. That'll sort you. Great seated position. Comfiest foot. Yeah. Yeah, like I started picking up injuries because I was looking after myself, but the way that I knew. I wasn't looking after myself the way that you should. And there's a huge, huge discrepancy between the two. So the way that I knew was not going out, not getting smashed every day, every couple of days and not eating Maccadies or Pizza Hut or fast food. But that didn't mean that all of the food that I was putting in my body was good food. I started putting in a little bit of research, started understanding, ah, he's not getting injured.

1:37:34I wonder what he's doing. differently to what I'm doing. So I started getting better. And it wasn't until pretty much the back end of my career where those little niggling injuries disappeared and I was feeling great. And I was one of the senior players that was playing most games and recovering quicker than anybody else rather than being one of the younger players and taking my body for granted. You remember the hydration tests, when you stuff the piss in the little bottle. And the colour test. This just goes to show footballers will take any shortcut. The lads would fill it up half with piss and then top it up with water.

1:38:15Yeah, rather than putting the water in in their bodies. Just as long as they get a tick that you're not you're not dehydrated. Why does that not surprise me? Every time I'll scoop it out of the toilet. You know, I think it's been plugged. I'll just put a little bit in top end. It's a bit of discoloration. It's for your benefit, but as long as you get a tick in the hydrated box, it's sound. It pisses like sugar puffs. Oh my God. It's a smell. The risk of injuries through the roof. It's a tell-tale. I'm in fucking bother here. Bright orange. Get some heavy on an ear. Looks like electrolytes, doesn't it?

1:38:57Yuck. Orange Lucas. I just picked orange Lucas. Oh, that's disgusting. It stinks of sugar. Yeah, but again, it's just little things like that. If we just put the water in our bodies instead of pouring it in the cup, we don't need to think about it or worry about it. It's the same thing. What are you cheating? Drinking water. Yeah. Oh, I can't see myself doing that. What do you mean? Just so you get the tape and the sound. It can train. It's all right. He's hydrated and it can train. Yeah, it's mad. It's mad. It is funny. The thing is with that, though, I think it might be doing something a bit of a disservice with that because everybody's learnt more but as time's gone on, of course, of course, the message we were given back in the day, wasn't the same message, message that we were given now.

1:39:39And it definitely wasn't received in the same way. You know, you need to drink some more water, but you wouldn't even get a fine for it. You'd get given a bottle. If your thingy came up dehydrated, you get given a bottle of water. And so you're, you're under the thingy, you need to drink it. But if you get the tick, you give it a quick squirt. He's already. It used to be, it used to be like basically a telltale sign, if you've been a heart on it. Yes. Yes. You know, like you went out Wednesday night, you went in Thursday morning and it's sugar puffy. Sugar puffy. I like that terminology. Puffy on top.

1:40:13That's what you need to dip it in the pot. Oh, mate. Put a little bit on top. What? Obviously, you've gone from all the levels. What's been your favourite dressing room? I don't mean which specific club. What level were your favourite dressing room? I can imagine the Everton dressing room is a different dressing room to the Scunthorpe dressing room. Oh, man. That question's based around characters, isn't it, really? I think I've been quite fortunate. I think lots of the clubs I've been at have had characters, and if they haven't had characters, I've been the character. I mean, like, the higher up you are...

1:40:51I mean, the only character in that Everton dressing room. You know, you're... Oh, fuck it. Watch your back. It's Phillip in it. Phillip Neville? Fucking hell, fire. They're more interesting turds, I can imagine. He's a cool guy. He's quite funny. I can imagine. He's funny in a dry sense. He was funny in a dry sense. One of the things that he's a great leader, great, great leader. Again, I mentioned in terms of nutrition and looking after myself, he was one of those people that said, how do you recover? What are you putting in your body to recover? I said to him, you know, I'm eating this, that and the other.

1:41:28and he said, what? No, recover properly. This is what you need to do. You need to be eating this, this and this at this time, this time, this time. And don't eat X amount of hours before you go to bed because it gives your body the perfect amount of time to digest all the food. So you're able to get a perfect night's sleep. And in terms of sleep, you need to make sure you're sleeping for eight, nine, 10 hours minimum. But every hour before midnight, you go to sleep, technically counts as one and a half to two hours extra rest on your body. So, you know, when you've got people like that, feeding you that sort of information, it's, it's amazing.

1:42:06That's amazing. Then you look at other people like Tim Cahill was in there talking to, to Phil about business. So I'm listening to those conversations and I'm learning without learning. So I'm, I'm eavesdropping and I'm listening to certain situations and scenarios and opportunities that are arising and I'm learning from them. But then you've got the other side where you've got Fellaini and you've got Seamus Coleman and you've got myself and you've got, I don't know, James Vaughan and you've got all these other people that like to have a laugh and a joke and a giggle and pull pranks. So that changing room for me had a little bit of everything.

1:42:49But then the lower down the leagues you go, you tend to find that nothing's off limits in terms of the the level of prank that you'll you'll start to see so you see turds in socks in shoes and you see I can't imagine Mikel Arteta would be a tech on board a shit in his wash bag no no no you've got to pick and choose the right people I didn't do any of that stuff just I'm putting out there I didn't do any of that stuff I'm not I'm not that guy you're like chucking a bit of chewing gum in Fellaini's hair no furious no furious you're going to sleep mate you'll end up like Paddy Kenny mate God bless you by the way Paddy God bless you what do you want Pad sorry Pad

1:43:39but he's he's a he's a mad kid he's a mad guy but a lovely lovely guy nonetheless but then you go from that to I was playing for I can't say which club I'm not going to say because it would give it away. So I was playing for a club during my playing career. That's as far as I'm going to get in terms of who you're going to. And there was a major disagreement, an argument, fisticuffs in the training ground on the pitch. And one of the boys left with a cut lip and the other one had a bruise on his cheek, et cetera. So we thought, you know what, they've had a little straightener. They're good. It's done and dusted.

1:44:18nothing thought nothing of it come back everybody's gone home done whatever they're doing came back the next day and one of the lads starts going like this holding his stomach and says gaffer i'm gonna have to go in i'm not feeling great so the gaffer's gone gone in your pop so he goes inside 10 15 minutes and then comes back out and he goes gaffer i'm good to go come on join back in get involved in the in the session so we've got about 15 20 minutes of the session left remaining so we're we're finishing up training and then all of a sudden one of the security guards comes sprinting over and says who owns this car and obviously one of the two lads that's been in a little bit of a scrap he says it's me and he goes you gotta come over quickly so he bombed it over and he's got like 50 ,000 so it seems insects flying around inside his car inside his car and he's like what the freaking heck is this?

1:45:20And I've just looked at the other lad who he had a scrap with and he went like that. I was like, oh, remind me never to get on your bad side, mate. It genuinely, he had to get rid of the car. He couldn't get rid of the, he couldn't get rid of them all. He put bug killer and all sorts in his car, ended up stinking. It got into the material and the carpet under the car and like I don't know it went through the vents the air vents and it was oh mate absolute carnage in the space of 24 hours where do you source 50 ,000 bugs I don't know that may be it may be a slight exaggeration on the 50k but it just seemed like a lot man I was looking I was thinking mate what the hell who even thinks like that like if that's me and you I'm like, I'm just going to pour water in his wet bag, in his wash bag.

1:46:17And I'm thinking, yeah, I've done him there. No. Was there a round two? There was a little bit of a Barney, but no scrapping. No scrapping. Because I think they both realized the other ones as nuts as they are. So it would have been one of those ones. Look, if it's scrapping on site, they're going to be scrapping every single time and neither one of them will back down. It's just, it's not worth it. It's like Family Guy with Peter Griffin and the chicken. it's on site and it's non-stop

1:46:52I was just trying to put me in the situation of talking to Phil Neville like Monday morning what did you do Saturday night oh to be fair I stopped in Phil what did you have to eat well I had crispy duck spare ribs Phil it's taken Cantonese sauce egg fried rice and he's like why well I've got my protein I've got my carbs I stayed in and I never had a drink. I'm thinking Phil's going to be patting me on the back. Look at that test tube, Phil, it's a fucking clear. I'm doing a right one. It's like soy sauce. Put a bit of heavy on. It's like soy sauce. It's thick. You're touching it and it's stringy.

1:47:33More ice in, it's thick. I've got a genuinely uneducated, I'd have thought, well I've stayed in, I've had a Chinese, I've had a good kid. You're behaving, you're looking after yourself. But that's what I was talking about earlier. So you're looking after yourself the best way you know how, whereas that's the best for you. But when you start talking to other people, Phil, for example, you start realizing flipping heck, maybe I'm, maybe I'm, I'm not doing it right. Yeah, I'm nowhere near it. I'm miles off it. We did have a lot of Huddersfield fans saying you did well for them. to keep them up when you went on lawn?

1:48:12I helped I helped to keep them up it was quite I enjoyed that time but I it was frustrating as well because we had again we had a really good side Danny Ward James Vaughan Neil Downs we had a really good side there but Vaughan he ended up popping his hamstring in one of the the early games of me signing and it was meant to be the two of us up front together, which is a lethal forward line. It's absolutely amazing. But then he tore his hamstring. So he was out for like seven, eight, nine weeks, give or take. And in the following game, I tore my hamstring and I was out for six, seven weeks. When we did come back, we did manage to do pretty well for the club.

1:48:54We managed to avoid relegation on the last day of the season, actually. And it was one of those mental games, I remember. Both sides needed a draw. Barnsley? Yes. Do you remember it? Yeah, I fucking do, yeah. And the game literally, the last 15 minutes or so, just played out with Barnsley's keeper having the ball to the right back, centre half, centre half, left back, keeper. Left back, centre half, centre half, right back, keeper. And every now and then I'll go, weee, pretend to go close and down. And all of the crowd will be like, no! On both sides and I was like, This is freaking golden. But no, I really enjoyed myself there.

1:49:35Really enjoyed myself there. Some great people there. Again, people like the kit man, Brookie, who's still there now, incidentally. What a guy. What a guy, huh? Lots of people that are the heart and soul of that club. And I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed my time there. Is it right he signed you three times, Grayson? Yeah. I tried to make it four. What the Hartlepool recently? When he went out to India. And then, yeah, it didn't quite work. So, yeah. Well, no, not signed me. I've played for him. I played for him Huddersfield, Leeds, obviously, and Preston. Absolutely loved the guy. Absolutely loved the guy.

1:50:17He gave me the opportunity to express myself on the pitch without having to worry about any real repercussions when things don't necessarily go right. Does that make sense? Yeah, definitely. So that's why I got on so well with him. And obviously, from his perspective, if he's signing a striker that knows how to score goals, I mean, his job is to win games. And you win games by scoring goals. And if he knows me as a person, he knows me as a player, that's going to make the transition from me to go from playing for this club under this management style which is slightly different to go into working with him which I already know how he operates and what he wants from me so that that was that was pretty straightforward so I've always been able to to score goals working for team working in teams for for Simon Grayson I think it's a natural pull into it to to want to sign for a manager that you've done well for yeah yeah Like I said, it just makes it easier.

1:51:20It makes it easier because there's no hidden agendas. So they're not pulling you in and saying, right, on the phone, right, this is how I want you to play. We're going to play two up top and it's going to be you and this guy. And this is how he plays. And we'll get crosses into you. We'll get the ball into you. And then you sign the paperwork. And then the first training session is, right, it's one up top. It's you, Bex. And the way we play, we pin them and then we bring everybody else. like it's two completely different styles of play and management and Simon Grayson's style of management suits me down to the ground suited me down to the ground another example of that was Billy Sharper Doncaster exactly Billy Sharper Doncaster under Sean O'Driscoll he was the main man just stay in the box bill stay out the way yeah if the ball drops you're gonna score he's a he was a menace as well wasn't he Dean Saunders comes in and he wanted him closing down fullback It got to the point where I was like, I may as well come and sit on the bench.

1:52:14I'm like killing the team. Yeah, yeah. Couldn't agree more. And you won't find that kind of stuff in coaching manuals or these courses that you go to. You have to know the player. Know the person. Know the player. Yeah. You know that promotion push with Preston? Which one? I've had a few. Because I imagine you lost the last game of the season to drop out. Oh, mate. So do you know what, right? Obviously, we were flying, scoring lots of goals. we were keeping clean sheets we i think we were the second or third best team in the league at the time right it got to the final game of the season and we just needed we needed a win or a point i think we needed a point and uh to go up to get promoted we had a a flight a holiday booked to vegas straight after the game because we were so confident so confident in getting promoted It's not very often I say it, but it might serve you right.

1:53:06Mate, we didn't turn up. We didn't turn up. What, for the flight or the game? For the game, we were ready for the flight. Absolutely devastating, genuinely devastating. But the thing that frustrates me the most is we let the fans down. We let the fans down. And that was the worst part because Preston's record in the playoffs was diabolical. Nine playoff finals, nine losses. like it was diabolical and every fan made that abundantly clear to us in the lead up do not go via the play do not go to the playoffs if you go to the playoffs it's game over we're not going to win you might as well give up the season we just didn't turn up we just didn't turn up and it's so oh man it genuinely pains me it flipping pains me because I know we're much better than oh god it's really frustrating me I can't remember who it was we're much better than whoever it was we were playing at the time as well.

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1:55:56Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more. I want to win the playoffs because that's a point where you could capitulate into it with losing at that stage. Which happens a lot. Yeah. So we had Chesterfield in the semifinal first and second leg. So away the first leg, we beat them 1-0, I scored. Home the second leg, we beat them 3-0, I scored two. One from the halfway line, thanks for asking.

1:56:25And then we ended up going to the playoffs, to Wembley, Matt. And I just remember we had from Preston down to Wembley on the coach, the front of the coach, on every screen on the coach, because there's, what, eight screens, give or take, on the team coaches. So you can watch whatever matches are on, or you can watch Sky Sports News, which is usually on. But on the way down, we had the best clips of everybody. So not just the goal scorers, but of the goalkeepers making unbelievable fingertip saves, defenders making last gas, tackles, blocks off the line, 50-50 challenges with some really, really good quality forwards.

1:57:05So we got off the team bus and everybody was on, like, chests were out, shoulders were back. We had an unbelievable amount of belief in ourselves. So we got to walk into Wembley Stadium and we're playing against Swindon and Swindon were the best footballing side in the league. They bopped the ball around like nobody's business. So there was an element initially of this is going to be a tough game and it was a tough game, don't get me wrong, but we thought we're going to have to be here for a smash and grab. We're just going to have to beat them up a little bit, make the game uncomfortable for them, keep breaking up the play and then it got to the first 10 minutes give or take and the ball came up to me I pinned their captain managed to score a goal looked at him he's on the floor he's popped his hamstring so there was a part of me that was thinking yes maybe this is our day and then we managed to go again I picked the ball up on the edge of the 18-yard box chopped the defender whipped it Bottom corner, 2-0.

1:58:13Paul Huntington managed to score our third in the first half. So we're 3-0 up at the end of the first half against a team that we fought initially. Mate, we might get bopped. Just on a big pitch and all, like... Wembley's massive, massive. And I realised that after I made like three or four unbelievable runs and didn't get the ball. I was looking and I was like, lads, I'll be honest with you. I've got probably two more. and then I'm not doing it anymore. I've shot my ball. But then like we kicked off the second half and a little bit of pinball in the middle of the pitch. Joe Garner's on the floor wrestling with somebody, whips the ball around while he's on the floor.

1:58:58I just sprint through one-on-one with the goalkeeper. The keeper came out, closed the space down a little bit better, left foot into the bottom corner for the hat trick at Wembley, peeling off into the corner and looking at the cameraman's face, he's got one of those big flipping, I don't know, the camera's like this big, absolutely humane, it looked like a transformer. He's running with this thing on his shoulder and he's like, yes! He's a massive Preston fan. He goes, yes, Jermaine! Freaking amazing, man. But yeah, it's moments that will live with me forever. Man of the match. I've got the match ball as well.

1:59:33I've got it signed by all the boys. and slightly going off topic on that one. I was out, I was working, I was doing, I was covering a game and then I came home and as I drove in the driveway and parked up, my little boy's outside playing football. So I hopped out of the car and I started, I ran over to him to join him, start playing football with him. He was about seven or eight at the time, nine at the time. And I'm looking, I'm like, what ball is that, mate? When I tell you, it was my hat-trick ball. My Wembley hat-trick ball. Signed. Not anymore, it's not. Not anymore. Mate, 95 % of the signatures on it are gone.

2:00:17But I can't be annoyed at him because my kid loves football. So what am I going to do? I'm going to tell him off for playing football, for going outside. No. What happened with the scrap with Doyle? I was already at the club and at Preston, and we brought him in. Very, very good finisher. Very good finisher. Straight away, it was, right, Bex, you're starting. And then if ever I came off, it was for Doyle. And if ever he started, he came off, it was for me and vice versa. And it got to, I don't know how it managed to get to that point. We were on the counterattack. I think we were losing 2-0 away from home.

2:00:56And we were both on. So we're chasing the game. We've got about 15, 20 minutes, give or take, left of the game. We're chasing the game. And the ball's gone down the right-hand side. and it's gone to Doyler and there's a defender going towards him and I'm clear, free in the middle of the pitch and I'm screaming, square it, square it, I'm in, I'm in. And I'm like, edge of the 18-yard box just for context. He's cut it back onto his left foot and just skied it or something. I don't remember exactly what it was, but he's not looked to pass it to me or cross it to me. He's just, he's gone for glory.

2:01:27And naturally I've kicked off. What are you doing? Just flipping square it. He's turned around and he's gone, come on then. And I've gone, what the hell's happening here? Well, I'm not going to back down because I'm not that guy. But at the same time, I don't understand what's happening here. So we've just, we've just gone at each other and we're in each other's faces. We're not scrapping. We're not fighting. We're not pushing. We're just there. And I'm screaming at him, you should have flipping squared it. And he's like, shut up. Who are you talking to? And I'm like, you, you freaking idiot. And he's like, you freaking wait until we get inside.

2:02:00I'm like, let's freaking go now. And the referee comes over and he's like, what are you doing, you idiots? Like, I've got to send you off. I can't have that on the pitch. So Doiler, straight red card. And he's gone, Bex, I don't want to do this, but I've got no choice. And I said, mate, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, neither one of us meant for it to be that. we were just both in the heat of the moment. We're just, we're pumped up and we're ready to flip in, go to war. And unfortunately we picked each other rather than the opposition. He's obviously, he's been sent off first. So he's in the changing room.

2:02:37So I've gone in, booted the door and I'm standing in the doorway. I'm looking at him and he's looking at me and I went, fuck, what are we doing? And he's gone, mate, I don't even know. So we're just like, we're looking at each other like, this is so stupid. So like the boys came in, obviously we've lost the game. Everybody's like fuming. The gaffers come in, Simon Grayson's come in. And he's like, lads, you freaking disappointed me, both of you. And straight away, we both stood up and said, gaff up. We're really, really sorry boys. We're really, really sorry. We know we've cost, we've, we've cost you lot the game.

2:03:12Shook hands. And that was the end of it until we left the stadium, left the changing rooms and we're walking onto the bus. And one of the opposition fans was absolutely laying into Doyler for some reason. I have no idea why. So I stood up for him and he went, oh now your friends are you? I'll be honest with you. I was like, you freaking idiot. You idiot. That's the last thing I needed. Now your friends. What am I gonna do now?

2:03:42Did you have to refund the fans? Yeah, I paid for all of the tickets for the fans. oh came back from suspension against leeds and he was sent off inside four minutes yeah the game after that one by the way simon grayson says to me right bex you're going on don't do anything stupid come on and just do what you do best just enjoy yourself relax play the you do so i've um i've gone on the pitch and uh kyle bartley sprinted up from 30 yards away So I've jumped up and he's running and jumped into me, knee like that, straight out into the back. And I've gone, ah, fallen on the floor. And I've just lashed out.

2:04:29I've just put my foot up. I've caught him in the face of an eye by accident, genuinely by accident. And the referee's just come over four minutes in, bang, straight red. I was like, mate, what are you doing? What am I doing? I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. I promise you now, I promise you I'm a man of my word. I didn't mean it. I was just frustrated. No, I let you off. You got your ticket for free. Because my 40 quid in diesel. Yeah, it was so stupid. It was so immature. It was disappointing. It was stupid, but it was one of those situations. Good stuff, mate. Cheers, mate. Yeah, thank you very much for coming on.

2:05:15I've enjoyed it. forward, just remind me there's a fly just gone past my head. I know, I want to describe. I'm looking forward to seeing that, who had fucking 10 ,000 flies in the garage, you know, to put them in the car. Mate. I'll get that one in a bit. No, top man, mate, thank you very much. Boys, top stuff. Cheers, mate. Thank you very much. Cheers, mate. Did you know that we've got almost 200 unreleased episodes on Patreon? Do you know that, Chris? Which are your favourites? I'm going to give you Ron Atkinson. Yes. Yakubu. Mark Rossley, part two. One of my personal favourite. For anybody that doesn't know, what is Patreon?

2:05:58Patreon is the app that not only helps support the podcast, but also gives you access to, like I said, almost 200 unreleased episodes and an extra two every month. I like it because we get away with a lot of stuff on Patreon that we wouldn't normally on YouTube. And we've set up a community chat. Yes, with the Friday Club, some of the images on there. Patreon's great for growing our Friday Club. That's why we're here. Helping the Friday Club grow and the regular series. And I like that community being together on there as well, where everyone's chatting and having a laugh about the episodes. And it's cheap.

2:06:37Very cheap. I'd say cheaper than, what, a pint? Yeah. Yeah. a toastie these days from an expensive coffee shop expensive retailer yeah a coffee a scented candle they're expensive a bag for life maybe what else is that about that price i tell you what i'll tell you what's about that price a wine cooler in the shape of a cowboy boot. Yes. That is expensive then these days. I think it's between your legs, John.

2:07:20Anything else? No, just sign up. A pie. A pie. It's cheaper than a pie. The money's shot. No, but it is about supporting the podcast and like we said, it just helps us create a bag for life, yeah, with a cat on it. It helps us keep creating the podcast and we just really appreciate and just builds that community, doesn't it? Well done, John. £14.99! It's not that expensive. £3.50 plus that. There we go. So you could actually buy quite a few wine cooler cowboy boots. So if you want to sign up, just download the Patreon app, search under the cosh, you'll be straight in there. And like we've said, if it weren't for the Patreons up to this point, I don't think we'd be still creating this podcast, would we?

2:08:06So thank you. Up the cosh. and get yourself involved.

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