The World Cup Road Trip - Las Vegas To LA

27:09He was just high on life. I don't know. I'm only seeing what you've seen. I don't know if you know if somebody's pissed or not. Why would you ask me the question then? You've fucking seen it. I've just seen that he was up until five. Ivan's a boy, surely. Yeah, I think he's an Amaretto man. Yeah. Who else? Jordan. Oh, Jordan. Nailed on. But apart from that, Stonesy. Yeah. The younger lads. It's not a bad squad. How many have we said there? Five?

27:45There's probably a few more that we're missing the likes of Trippier, aren't we? He'd be on there. Let me just have a look at the squad. The Gies, Liv Rementos, Spence, I just can't. Can't get... Again, it's probably a good thing. in terms of what will they do if Thomas says right lads you can have a pint what will they do to relax PlayStation the barber in remember the basketball phase when they got a basketball court in the thingy tell what a funny stage when they're in them on them inflatable zip pool that's still there they'll have them this time but then big white swans swans flamingos fuck off swear to god were they not unicorns there was everything there was a lot long long necks and they were white and there was um a lot of them different i've got a lot of time for that yeah they've liked a little racing no i thought i got i went off your question there what was the the original point oh two shook i think we'd like him yeah but i wonder what he's going to be like when he starts because it'll happen.

28:57You know, when they have a bad performance, and he gets a bit of stick, and he's getting a bit of stick from the pundits, and... It seems like everywhere he's been, he's not been afraid to... Russell Fett are the big dogs, as well. He's had fallouts with Mbappe. Yeah. If things don't go well, he can get on his bike, can't he, and go back to Germany. It's like... Tuchel is a level. Maybe like your Ancelotti's, your Mourinho's and all that. If he has a shittery he's still going to get a really good job but your Gareth Southgate is at that level innit. He's not an elite manager. Do you know what Yeah I know what you mean.

29:41Do you know what I mean? He had to toe the line with the press because they're torn him in your arsehole. We're two shows. Fuck what you think. By the way, how was that England documentary being signed off? Have you seen anything of it? I've seen I think Pickford's a great lightning, some of them aren't great but Pickford, have you seen the one with Grealish it just looks like a it's a wish good Grealish isn't it a Timo one but they just played them out it would be just so thick but it was supposed to be a comedy I think it was a stage show originally and Oscar went watching it said it was brilliant, really funny but they've adapted it for TV and I don't think they've quite got the comedy aspect.

30:31Is that what it was meant to be then? Yeah, originally it was a stage show. Oh, right. Terrible. He'll show you that Grealish thing. He asks him something about home and he just comes up with a really stupid answer. You know, just mocking him, basically. I've only seen photos. Stuff that we've seen at the World Cup so far. I'm loving the Mexicans. Do you think they're... Ducking a shirt. Yes. Might have been a swan. Goose. It was a goose. Also... They were a tank top. They seem to be experts in smuggling beer into the ground. Oh, I've seen the phone one with the... The phone with the tequila in.

31:15Yeah. Like a good crack, the Mexicans. The one wood under the pinny. Oh, yes. All that. Through security. Like that. And I think, to a fair, the security guard took it well. Yeah. He took it well. Tell you what, I wonder if you've got a cameraman. No cameramen at the game who are focusing on the game. I wonder if you've got two or three who are just employed to find fit birds in fucking next-to-note. He said that the other day. I wonder if they're still allowed to do it. Well, apparently, you know what? I've seen an American in a little bikini. She were fit. I've seen a... That was in Tao Beach.

31:49Yeah, fair play, yeah. A Mexican who boom and nearly dropped out. She was fit. Wasn't that, was that porn star the biggest? Khalifa. She was at match. Yeah. They picked her out. Well, apparently, Tushel said, if they get to last 16, she's bobbing over to a hotel for an hour or so. That's your treat. You know, for lads who don't drink, the rest of the lads go up to the bar. Lads, go and have an hour. Khalifa's in 408. Go and fill your boats, kids. I didn't think it was socially acceptable to do that anymore. What, with the cameras? Yeah. Mind you, it's Trumpy's America, innit? He's not arsed. Do you think he'll be on field for trophy lift?

32:34Nailed on. One million percent. I reckon if they get to last 16, I reckon he might put his sin on the bench. And fucking Pochettino has got a no say about it. I bet he's hit squad. He rang him, didn't he? Did you see the phone call? it was alright actually they had a team meeting and somebody was one of Potch's assistants was on the phone and had him on loudspeaker I'll just pass you on to Maurizio and then he again just saying well done I believe you can win the tournament and that oh this after last night's game? no it was before but like a motivational speech from the president I bet you know when they hang up if it was an English dressing room they'll be going fuck off Donald you know what I mean alright good and Donald get your fucking hair cut your brick got no chance Billy we're playing China

33:36just going back to Vegas for a little bit on the plane on the way over is anybody having a bash yeah I'm playing craps love craps always play craps when I come love it, love it it's me? yeah we've been once always play craps so like well I don't know the rules do you know the rules? do you know what you need to do? no no no I'll show you lads I'll show you gets right and grabs Dave like what do we do with this Chrissy? no idea I always just put this one here you got that many warnings but have you ever as I say I've never been involved with it but I don't think it happens very often a verbal warning for not hitting the back of the rim where he's two guys I got one of them I mean I said when I was last year I played craps that was 12 years ago but you said I love craps oh I did I do I like the yeah everybody getting involved but I can't remember I can't remember rules from 12 years ago I always thought as long as you don't roll a 7 you sound and it's pretty straightforward but it's anything but there's stuff going off all over the place you know that one line that I bet on, then you're safe.

34:49As long as you don't roll a seven, you win. But there is a lot more rules. But then I think you'll only win on that if you get two in a row. No, if you get the same number that was rolled first time. So whatever you first roll, you know the guy who rolls first? Whatever number you get, that then becomes the pass. Right. And then if that number gets rolled again, then you win. No, no idea. So, Dallas next. Yep. First game, Croatia. Who are you... Do we cross over with Scotland at all? Geographically? No, I'm thinking with the fans. Ah, geographically? Yeah. Their first game's in Boston, isn't it?

35:34Tonight. Tonight. I don't know where the second and third is. What are you thinking? I remember in Qatar, we just had good crap with Scottish lads. And the Welsh. what's your thoughts I could tell everybody were there everybody were close what's your thoughts on Scotland doing well I hope they do as well as they possibly can do I hope they do but I don't think they will surely they're playing Haiti tonight aren't they surely I reckon our Preston team could have beat Haiti I've been deadly serious with that thing is with Scotland though they'll lose 1-0 against Haiti and then beat Brazil 2-0 yeah but it's tough group thing is it's a tough group they've got brazil morocco haiti i don't understand the rules with this third place qualifying i don't know there's probably going to be a cutoff isn't there yeah so you think they're going to get at least three points beating haiti haiti's not going to get none um if they get a draw against morocco i think they're through is it of only so many groups the third place are the best points out of the last three it's got to be all of the groups and they'll put whoever and how many of them go through it i think how many groups is there the seven or eight goes through from third in the groups we only lose 16 teams throughout the group stage so that goes to 32 then yeah a portion of the third places seven eight eight of the third places and how many groups how many groups is there so eight of the third places go through right and it's obviously best point scored and then it goes to goal different goal score goal difference how many groups is there is it must be it well all third places go through then don't they yeah it's not though is it 12 groups also there's four third places miss out right it's a think that it's just if they get like a couple of draws in it what's your opinion on this extended tournament are you of the belief of it gives everybody the opportunity to get through you know from from your south americas your asias or it should be the best of the best it should be elite an elite tournament yeah i think it's a i think it's a shambles i hate eating it it's a shambles yeah i'm with you i know what you're saying but well so really who else is really bad who's in it curricow i don't know if that's the right pronunciation curricow is that right yeah i've never even heard it i mean see there's only 400 people in it might have had another group in and put gibraltar in yeah but you don't think it's a nice it's a showcase for the world every an opportunity granted they're probably going to go out in group but there's going to be like it's just a 7-0 8-0 yeah that's some that's not having a day out on the did you see the dr.

38:39Congo lads turn up in the the bus on the know the suits they had on oh no I tell you what it reminded me of you know the last scene in coming to America with a getting married the other leopard print yeah see that's the good thing though we're exposed to all these different cultures. I know exactly what one of them suits looks like. Couldn't we like a lion on the shoulder sound better? Yeah. But now, Kate Verde shouldn't be anywhere near America. Qualified though. Well, who's not qualified? Who decides then they can't come in? Who's not qualified? If you haven't qualified, you're really shit, aren't you?

39:19Yeah. Italy aren't qualified. That's what I mean. Have they not? No Italy, but we've got Kate Verde. well it must be shit at minute then oh there's been an article by the way that's just been released you know these supercomputers they do all sorts now don't they but using facial recognition I don't know how they work it out but they've decided on who is the most handsome footballer at the World Cup this is the kind of stuff we like And number one, coming in number one, Rodrigo De Paul from Argentina. Now, have a look at him. He is a ruggedly handsome, isn't he? Do you think? I think he's got a look at David Wheater about him, I think.

40:08You know one of them that's almost handsome? I'd take them off for a drink. Have they done an ugly one? Oh, they haven't, but I'd like to see it. Yeah. Is there anybody you're chucking in there straight away? I can't think off the top of my head. I can use. Burnsy. Dan? Dan. No. John! Just don't show your height. Oh, well then. Fucking hell. Just because you're tall doesn't make you better looking. But it gives you half a chance. Have you ever seen one of the... Because you can't see him? Oh, he looks half right. Women like tall men, don't they? Right. Yeah, but the overall package, like I brought his tattoos into it, Rodrigo, I think that went in his favour.

40:50so you're saying that women really like tall tattooed men yeah yeah yeah don't matter how big the noses are well yeah six foot plus it doesn't matter does it yeah but I do think that if you're tall it helps right yeah does that say when you're looking for a woman anybody taller I couldn't go out with anybody taller than me Rose must be pretty much similar to you though I've got about half an inch on her that's pretty much similar there's only one thing that's more similar than that, it's actually the same you know what I mean? so I've got half an inch on her must be pretty similar, no no I've got half an inch fucking spiders that's pretty similar, I've got half an inch that is the same argument the same would be the same the same would be the same I've got great pleasure up we're here in me driving the first hour and getting nothing but asshole all the way whoa whoa how much sway are you doing next minute we swap i reckon you're the worst driver i've ever been in the car with i'll tell you what the problem got seasick in the car i'll tell you what the problem were which i didn't realize when i was giving you a little bit of abuse do you know there's a function on the car where do you know if you go to the central reservation or go to that next to the cat's eyes it automatically pulls you in but it didn't work because no that's what we're doing I were very close to the cat side I didn't want to hit the side I thought we had a flat tire out with you cat eye noises I didn't want to hit the side so that's but that's what that's what the swaying work was I was trying to stay away from the the the big thing at side so I was staying more towards the cat's eyes and that was swinging me in but I was trying to stay away from the justify to me John to be honest I wouldn't have agreed with you until he picked us up from the gym and it took us 34 minutes to get home and it's normally a seven minute journey i must admit it was a bad i must have made spell must admit i did put uh this is probably why we started later than uh we should have done one bit so i dropped this morning i dropped chris at the gym basically i'm fucking uber driver i've dropped chris at the gym and i've come to pick you up from where you dropped your car off right so oh my god I drove down the worst street I've ever I've ever seen in my life uh you can tell me about pizza shop after that so you know obviously I put the sat nav the addressing from where I was picking you up so when I picked Chris up from the gym I put the address for where I picked you up instead of putting the one to come home so that's maybe my we might got we might have gone Oh, right, you kept that quiet.

43:40A lot of bad turt. Yeah, might have gone around LA a little bit. You were in the shower, and I said, did you get lost? And he was like, well, I couldn't get him out. He was just talking. He wouldn't leave. There's a reason. There's a reason why Americans are big. Big people. Because he's been to the gym this morning. I've gone to pick him up. He's in there with, like, five or six people from the gym. and I picked them up from a pizza shop, right? And I've gone in, and there is 36-inch of pizzas, right? Between six people. I couldn't believe that. The biggest things I've ever seen, they've just been lid tackle.

44:24What, the people or the pizzas? The pizzas. By the way, 18-inch. They've only been about half 11 as well in the morning. Were they all fit? No, that's what I'm saying. That's why I had a fart. Because they're going to do a session, and they'll have 36-inch pizzas between five, six of them. Because they did it by the slice. So I thought, oh, they're all just going to get a slice each. Yeah. But they had two full 18-inch pizzas plonked on the table. How many sat round? Eating, there was probably five or six. Yeah. So that's why they're fat. They go to the gym and they do fucking 36-inch pizza in.

45:03Do you have a slice? It was funny, though.

45:10very accommodating with it i was helping them out so i got to speak they were so friendly by the way where where consider i was in a different country i was quite intimidating but one of the lasses was like giving us a bit of a guide on where to go bars restaurants beaches and then she made a point to go on but whatever you do while you're in LA do not go down skid row as I skid roach went it's horrible like drugs there's tents this is like home almost drug addicts unpredictable people that just stop in front of cars attack cars she went just make a point of writing that in you know what she said anyway go for pizza 36 inches worth and then he walks in because he parks up I says I'll just come in wait for your pizza and he went you'll not believe the road I've driven down on the way I went it wasn't Skid Row was it he went I think yeah I think it was I said well there's loads of tents and loads of homeless druggies I said that'd be Skid Row that do not whatever you do drive oh horrendous it was like it was heart-breaking worst in america they said yeah i think most deprived for generations yeah it was basically just there weren't tents it was just like people had you know we like uh what you put up bottom of a pond tarp yeah tarp holland yeah like what you put bottom of a pond basically just them all the way for probably i want to say a mile jesus but then there's just in fact we'll ever drive down just a little risk it and have a drive down just to look okay there's uh there's just people lying about everywhere rubbish everywhere like oh people pushing trolleys trolleys with cardboard it was like proper sickening and i think one of the reasons why they said don't drive down there was because she said there's that many unpredictable people unstable that would don't care about what they do and that's a pretty scary place to be dangerous thing isn't it quick break in play gentlemen to bring you a message from our absolute favourite and an unbelievable godsend on this trip so far NordVPN and as I mean life changing it's been a small win because wins are wins I've been fed up with the American commentary not too much of a criticism but it just wasn't for me.

47:50Nord VPN. Set it back to England. BBC ITV. Job done. Home comforts, that's what that is, John. I think it is. It's like you're actually watching it on your sofa at home, innit? Yeah. You've been watching your soaps, haven't you? Yeah, I think everybody knows I've been watching my soaps. It's a given now, Chris. Catching Attic and all that. Catch phrase. You won't catch phrase, wouldn't you? No. Tipping point. Tipping point. Tipping point. Well, for those who don't know, Wherever you are in the world, you can bounce your location back to the UK. Like we just said, watch your favourite TV shows.

48:23Or bounce your location from the UK if that helps anybody out. Maybe you're into the American punditry. Or maybe you're Polish. You're in England. Pop it over, it's in your own language. I've never thought about that. That's good, isn't it? I'll tell you what I've still been impressed by after all this time. The levels of security. Yes. as we've mentioned before all your passwords your bank details everything under lock and key with your extra security has been part of nor VPN what do we what we like for an offer oh it's got enough for John and there's a link in the description will get you a heavy heavy discount plus a 30 day money back guarantee you will I'm saying from the amounts of people who signed up on our VPN through our sponsorship.

49:16I reckon there's not many, if any, who's cancelled it. There you go. In fact, if you have, get in touch with us. It's what's known as a no-brainer. For me, anyway, personally. Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney+. Let's go! Get ready for a new case. We're going to crack this case and prove we're the greatest partners of all time! New friends. You are... Gary Destiny. And your last name? Destiny. Dream Team. New Habitats. Zootopia has a secret reptile population. You can watch the record-breaking phenomenon at home. You're clearly working at it. Zootopia 2, now available on Disney Plus Rated PG.

50:00This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You know those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips? That's the energy State Farm brings to insurance. With over 19 ,000 local agents, they help you find the coverage that fits your needs. So you can spend less time worrying about insurance and more time enjoying the ride. Download the State Farm app or go online at statefarm.com. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there. By the way, something new for these World Cup episodes. Because I think we wanted to bring a bit of Friday clubbing. Because we like hearing the stories, don't we?

50:38so Matthew if you'd like to step up to the podium there you are drum roll please are you the World Cup story guy? yeah I definitely didn't want to be the story guy on this podcast just me clapping this is where I am how's your hemorrhoid is fine thank you for asking yeah really good good are these World Cup related stories? yeah well you'll know won't you that you always when a World Cup happens there's always a talking point Pochettino doing a front flip remember that one from this year is that AI yeah it is AI but it's AI yeah you got you got stuck yeah it has to be AI I don't have that on I don't know for certain of it is I've had a look everywhere and there's nothing there's no other article or anything about Pochettino doing a backflip he's a black belt in karate though did you know that basically we were stood at the fan park and Brownie went have you seen Pochettino do a front flip when USA they scored and surely straight away it's red flags that yeah but we have seen the video and i have seen him do a front flip it's a backflip it's a backflip that is more believable though because it's easier to get the momentum isn't it yeah oh i don't know all right okay so yeah each gymnast over here um yeah each world cup there's always things that you remember um and things that are interesting that happened and these are some from way back when so we're going all the way back to the first ever world cup 1930 uruguay and the semi-final between usa and argentina was by all accounts an absolute war if you just listen rather than right here Argentina were filthy throughout that whole tournament physically physically filthy nasty the lot and the Americans felt every bit of it get away with a lot more back then Ralph Tracy gets absolutely done by a tackle in the 19th minute he's a yanker yeah broken leg as it turned out and with no substitutions allowed back then USA are playing the second half with 10 men and they lost 6-1.

52:57Not even one substitute.

53:03But that's not even the craziest. Sorry. End of story. Thanks, guys. I didn't know that was it. Is that finished? They ended up losing 6-1. No, that's not even the craziest part. There we go. Later in the game, another American player goes down after a brutal Argentine challenge. This time, his lip is ripped wide open. So out comes the US physio, a man named Jock Colt, sprinting onto the field to treat him. He's the hero in this moment, right? Jock. The guy rushing in to save the day. Yeah. Except he slips. He goes flying, and he lands straight on top of his own medical bag. Uh-oh. Right on top of a bottle of chloroform he was carrying.

53:58The bottle smashes and the fumes hit him like a freight train. And Jack called the man who ran on to help his injured player, knocks himself out. Now, some people say it was just bad luck. Others swear he was so furious at the referee that he hurled the bag down in anger and the bottle exploded. Either way, the result was the same. They had to then have another... Yeah, 6-1. they had to have another stretcher to stretch a jack call off the pitch right alongside the player he'd come on to treat now that might not be entertaining but it's at least interesting it's a little bit, yeah I'd like to have seen it I'd like to hear a few more of them I'm thinking he fell the bottle of the chlorophyll sat on that it cut his arse I knew when I read he fell in his medical bag you were thinking something's gone up his ear Yeah, that's exactly what I'm hoping for at least.

54:54Yeah, so how would you, here's a good one, how would you rate that story on a scale of naught to interesting? I mean, we've heard a lot of interesting stuff, Friday Club in particular. Someone falling asleep because they fell on the chloroform. I'm giving it a six. I'm going to go four. I think you can do better than that. I'm going to do one more while I'm here. Yeah, well, I'm...

55:24One. One out, yeah. That seems harsh to me. On an interesting level. If you're watching TV now... Is it semi-final? Probably. Yeah. If you were watching USA versus Paraguay yesterday, physio runs on, falls over, summit out his bag explodes, he's unconscious and gets stretched off, would you say, that's a one out of ten interesting thing that's just happened there. I don't think I'd comment on it. I'm fighting my own corner here too much. See, somebody scores an own goal and gets shot by Pablo Escobar. Now that's fucking interesting. Don't ruin my later stories. Right, one more story and then I'm out of here.

56:05Let's jump forward to the 1938 World Cup. The semi-final between Italy and Brazil. This isn't remembered as one of the greatest games in World Cup history because of the football. It's remembered for one of the most legendary moments in the entire tournament. Big words. Italy win a penalty, up steps their captain, one of the best players on the planet at the time. He walks up to the spot, cool as you like. Then, just as he's about to take it, his shorts fall down. Here we go. I'm getting it at already. This is more like it, hey, John? Yeah, a bit of slapstick. His knackers drop out. Yeah, he's got a great small cock.

56:48Yeah, now we're talking. As it stands now, the Pochettino backflip is more believable than this. I'm going to... Would that have been televised? No. There might have been a few drawings. There might have been a black and white. It'd have been pixelated, which would have done him some favours. As he's about to take it, his shorts fall down. The elastic has completely given up. Right there, in front of the whole stadium. The last thing on your eyes is going to give up soon, by the way. The player, he doesn't miss a beat. He grabs the waistband with one hand, holds his shorts up, takes a slightly shorter run-up, and slots the penalty straight past the Brazilian keeper.

57:32Yes! What about the keeper? I hear you cry. He's in absolute stitches, laughing so hard he can barely stand. Never mind, save it. He's helpless. he tucks the ball away keeps a firm grip on his shorts the whole time turns around and strolls back like nothing happened Italy went on to win the match 2-1 and lifted the World Cup a few days later I'm struggling with this one I'll be honest I was believing it like just pants falling down and scoring the penalty the fact that the goalkeeper didn't even bother to try his arse saving it because he was too busy laughing that could be artistic what's it called creative freedom there artistic license but hey 5 out of 10 wait we're not wait it gets even better oh my god the night before the final the dinosaur we're on the pitch the night before the final the Italian players reportedly received a telegram from Mussolini himself ooh you don't fuck about just three words you're right win or die in the final against Hungary the Hungarian goalkeeper let in four goals and he supposedly said with a wry smile I may have conceded four but at least I saved their lives the benefit of me and the viewers who's Mussolini?

58:55he's like a big, you know he was a dictator he was like the owner of Italy he's a bit of a he's a boy and a massive fan of football yeah if you fucked about you'd find out I think that was his slogan actually it would have been on top of a memo that he sent one thing I'm concerned about is that if his stories aren't true my only representation on this podcast is someone that's come on with made up stories no I think they are surely yeah what made up are if they're based on a true story then we'll give you that yeah that's a bit of what I should do creative license next time I'm going to bring three stories two are real and one's made up and you have to guess yes now we're talking now we are talking good right can all three of them be remotely interesting more than a one out of ten more than a one out of ten are you going to keep them world cup based or are you going to go in the life of Matthew Pacey no I'm not doing it it's not like I'm a youth group and I've got to tell two truths one lie I like that this is your lie what's he call it beard on would I lie to you David Mitchell that's it well thanks chaps I appreciate that I enjoyed it I enjoyed it I appreciate you useless knowledge that's what it is yeah that's my favourite type of knowledge right thanks and bye cheers Matthew bye okay yeah can we and if anybody can help us out on the Pochettino stuff on whether it's real or not I think it's a very very anybody watching can we put the video on screen?

1:00:40What done us was that it went into split screen, so it actually showed the goal. And then Potch was on the sideline. And, but thinking about it, I watched it during the night. I think it was, might have been in Vegas, four o 'clock in the morning job. So it caught us at my weakest. If I watched it in the, like now, I'd be like, that's got to be. But at the time, I was like, oh, that's good. You know, that AI, it can do split screen as well. No, I know, but what I mean is it made it more believable right because it had the actual game there if it was just Poch in a room or whatever doing it but it was see this is why this is why I don't like AI John didn't believe it because well fucking Beth Tweddle didn't believe it over here because obviously it's harder for doing a backflip than it is a frontflip Beth Tweddle

1:01:28she a gymnast yeah gold medalist for UK like Dakar we slightly large teeth. Yeah, scouser but soon lost her accent when she won gold. Are you sure she went on bike? No, she's a gymnast. Has the World Cup road trip, as we're calling it, I like it, been everything that you hoped so far? Anything you'd have changed? Yeah, I've not had a decent meal yet. I don't think there's a meal that I've not enjoyed. I think you've got to take some responsibility for your own actions here. Because you've ordered You've ordered some shite. Nachos. Nachos, chicken wings. There was a lovely menu on more than one occasion.

1:02:13And you've ordered like picky bits, which is not for you. Have you had a nice meal when I've been there? Yeah. What? That ham sandwich was nice. Fuck off. Did you eat it or did I eat it? Well, that's not a nice meal. No, I'm not a nice meal. It was treble ham. Crispy gammon, pork scratchings. Triple ham. I'll tell you one thing that I will say about America so far, whilst we've been here, they do ambiance to a T. If you're going for something to eat, you've got a band playing in the background. I think the American people are sounding all. You've got rotating bars. Maybe not as good, but you've got stuff going.

1:03:03We've been to a few bars, haven't we? And there's bands on. You can put requests in while you're having a meal and while you're having a beer. It's probably the perfect... That's what we need more at home. Yeah. If you were going to write down a checklist of what you wanted from a Saturday night out, that only red would have ticked them. I'd have been happy in there, right? Live music, good food, good drink, good atmosphere. Yeah. You're not going to get Mitchell and Star, but you know you're not going to. That's not what you've gone for. So what did you order in there? Chicken wings and chips.

1:03:37He hasn't had a good meal. Well, I'm allowed the opinion of me. Chicken wings were too well cooked and there weren't enough sauce. But it's not a meal, is it? That's the side effect of the killer man. What would the meal have been? A burger? Is that a meal? I can't remember the menu off the top of my head, but there was a lot of good, solid options. Nachos. What would happen if you just stopped? You know, like for two weeks? Three weeks? I don't know. Can we try? See if it improves your persona, mood? My mood's fine. I'll be the judge of that. I'll be honest with you, I'm halfway out of ferry now.

1:04:15I've had fucking three or four coronas, I'm halfway out of ferry. I'm starting to get aggressive. But no, I've not had a steak. I like steak. That's because you've not ordered one. I haven't been in a gaff where there's been a steak. every place we've had has got steak on the menu fuck off the end old red's not got a steak you just keep getting onion rings and spicy fries yeah that's another shout what did you order in that rotating bar massive onion rings a tray of on reflection they were like you know them what's them big cars with big wheels where they're driving across other cars monster truck The onion rings came like fucking 12 monster truck tyres.

1:05:04You're doing big, don't you? That is one thing. Portion sizes are substantial. I've never seen anything like it. What do I have in there? We're going on fat. Onion rings and something else. But I entered a nice meal. There you go. Well, we'll change that. We'll change. You just need to order better. We'll guide you through next one. The thing is, I know what we'll get. We'll try and advise them. Say, John, just have something more substantial. Chris, I'm 45 year old. I'll order what I want. I'll choose myself. Yeah. I haven't been in a restaurant where I could order a steak because I would have ordered it.

1:05:35We'll sort that out. But overall, happy with the trip so far. I really like the people. Yeah, they're friendly. In LA now, we've got another day tomorrow. Some surprises. And then we're off to Texas. John, the home of barbecue. Here you go. I had some spare ribs in one place. dry, over-cooked. Well, Texas is going to be the place for you. The home of barbecue. Yeah. Sound. I'll have some chicken wings there. We've got Dallas. We've got Austin, Texas. Is it beef biscuit? Brisket. You dip it in your teeth. I like the sound of that. A rib in your brood. Oh, put that obnoxious basket. I'm having a beef biscuit.

1:06:29that's where that's the place i'm looking forward to the most yeah yeah austin yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm looking forward to the most i'm dallas i think there'll be more of the food bands more authentic it'll be good i'm looking forward to it um obviously we've got to wrap up in la

1:06:51tomorrow we said work day tomorrow didn't we yes getting some filming and stuff obviously There's loads of iconic stuff in LA. Hollywood Boulevard, Santa Monica, the Hollywood sign, Venice Beach, Muscle Beach. But we had a little team meeting before and decided to book some of it. We're going to Universal Studios, Los Angeles. Been before? Harry Potter. No. Simpsons. No. That's why I didn't like it. Minions Mayhem. Simpsons ride made me sick. It's one of them things. The Super Silly Fun Land, and this is the creme de la creme. Are you ready? Super Nintendo Land, Mario Kart, Bowser's Challenge.

1:07:43That's more like it. Now you've got us. I'd rather jump off a building than go on that fucking Simpsons thing again. That's it. A date the theme park tomorrow. I'm not even joking. The Simpsons made me feel sick as a dog for a day and a half. Because you sit there, there's two rows, and it's one of them that's on screen, and you're going on a roller coaster and that. I've got a good idea. Get some anti-sickness tablets. Just don't go on it. Oh, sounds perfect. If I'm allowed not to, that'd be fantastic. I wish you'd given this advice and would have jumped off that fucking thing up yonder. Butterbeers, Hogwarts, Gringotts.

1:08:24Hogwarts bit happy appeals to me. Krusty the Clown. Underwhelming. Do you know how hot it's going to be? That'd be good, wouldn't it? No. Who'd look like a theme park? George? Is this your idea, George? I've never seen somebody as excited.

1:08:43Rides? You want rides? Not a big ride fan either. No? No? Come, if you want us to. I'll have a right laugh. What was when we were just going down the beach? Yeah, Sunday's God's Day, day of rest. Beach day, isn't it? My body's aligned. Shut up, Sundays. My body's aligned for getting up at 11 o 'clock, going for my Sunday dinner at half 12, back in bed for 2, 2.30. That's what my body's set up for. Out of that, I could be a mess. It's book nine.

1:09:25I thought you'd be more excited than that. I would have been if I was six. Yeah. Save, I think. If it was a water park, I'd have been excited. Where are you? I can throw some water on you on the Simpsons ride if you want. Obviously from the side. Get a refund and get us to the water park. And then we're flying to Dallas for the World Cup. It begins for us. England v Croatia. Predictions? For the first game? Are we really going? 2-0. What's an England game? No. Hogwarts? Yeah. Are we? 2-0 England. What are Croatia like now? Not as good as they used to be. No, they're not. 3-0 England. I'm going to be Cavalier as well and go.

1:10:15I can't go the same, can I? I'll go 3-1. I think we'll take one. Matty? 1-0. George? England. We've pretty much got the mainstays boxed off there, don't we? One all, two all. We should have done our own predictions thing. Predictions League? Yeah. I mean, we still can. So next stop, Dallas, lads. A massive thanks to Botano again, just before we finish, for getting us to Hogwarts.

1:10:48Wouldn't surprise you if I said I've never seen Harry Potter. It wouldn't surprise me at all. blow your mind tomorrow I've never seen a full Harry Potter honestly I've seen bits and bobs of Harry Potter but I've never seen a full one we'll sit down with a butterbeer with Dumbledore and we'll and you can get a steak in there you can well yeah I'll be sick as a dog from fucking Simpsons right right do you want to say it Hope the world could gosh. Yeah.

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