In short
England World Cup Road Trip Ep 2—reaction to England vs Croatia, plus travel/fan-experience updates in Texas (Texas Live, stadium food), tournament talk, and off-field stories (visa “pranks,” visa delays, and Vegas “reels”/midget-wrestling video).
Guests
No named guests appear in the transcript; it’s a host/crew discussion. Main speakers include “Chris,” “George,” “John,” and “Matty” (and “Elliot Bennett” is mentioned but not as a guest).
Key claims
Harry Kane was “on his game” (high-ball control, deep drop/turn, and a late “neck-saving” challenge). Tactical debate: Foden/Palmer runs might change Kane’s effectiveness. England fans’ atmosphere is praised. Betano promo: 40-to-1 England to reach quarter-finals.
Notable examples
Jed Spence’s standout cameo; hydration breaks with frozen margaritas; needing a physical passport to buy beer at grounds; England camp theft of boots/shirts; visa form help via a US database glitch; “SpeakPipe” voice-note feature.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOEngland vs Croatia Match Reaction
0:45 to 2:38
The hosts discuss their impressions and key moments from the game.
“Look at us with our caps on back to front.”
Performance Insights and Tactical Discussion
2:38 to 4:47
Analysis of player performances and tactical decisions during the match.
“680 fucking professional football games.”
Stadium Experience and Atmosphere
4:47 to 6:01
The hosts share their experience at the stadium and pre-game activities.
“If he wins the World Cup, we'll make an exception.”
Player Selection and Strategy Discussion
6:01 to 12:57
Discussion on player selections and potential changes for future games.
“So probably no one had put the leaflets out, was it?”
Addressing Previous Episode's Stats
13:10 to 14:00
The hosts clarify some statistical inaccuracies from the last episode.
“If your business runs on five different apps, 12 browser tabs, and one spreadsheet that everyone's afraid to touch, it's probably time for Odoo.”
Discussing World Cup Prize Money
14:08 to 16:28
The hosts dive into the misconceptions surrounding World Cup prize money and related stats.
“Some of the stats and facts that were handed out in last week's episode.”
Vegas Trip Stories
16:29 to 21:35
The hosts share amusing anecdotes and experiences from their recent trip to Las Vegas.
“Matty, you're taking the blame for the feet.”
Midget Wrestling Experience
21:36 to 22:41
The hosts recount their experience at a midget wrestling event they attended in Vegas.
“I'll be honest, when we first went in, I thought, oh, is this right?”
World Cup Atmosphere and Expectations
22:42 to 24:18
They discuss the unique atmosphere of the World Cup and personal expectations.
“That's like getting the best of Barnsley and Bolton.”
Debate on Watching the World Cup
24:19 to 28:00
A lively debate on whether it's better to be at the match or at home for a World Cup victory.
“He's having a bad trip, though, George, isn't he?”
Show all 18 chapters
World Cup vs. Club Success Debate
28:00 to 30:15
The hosts discuss the value of national team success versus club victories.
“Here with us at the game or at home with Oscar, Juno, Rose, mum and dad.”
England Camp Robbery Incident
31:58 to 36:56
Discussion on an incident of theft at the England camp involving boots and training kits.
“But there were boots and shirts and training kit and stuff nicked.”
Visa Application Stories
36:57 to 41:38
Hosts share their experiences and challenges regarding visa applications for travel.
“Thing is, anybody that's over here will know that you need a visa, Esther, to get into the country.”
Call for Voice Notes and New Songs
41:38 to 42:00
Encouraging listeners to send voice notes and ideas for new songs for the show.
“You know what that means now, don't you?”
Celebrating England's Spirit
42:00 to 42:39
Discussion about the England fans and their unique culture during games.
Practical Tips for Fans
42:40 to 44:12
Important advice for England fans regarding entry requirements and drinking at games.
“I think the England always create a good atmosphere, but that bounce, side to side bounce, I think that's the song that doesn't make it happen.”
Live Show Excitement
44:12 to 45:15
Details about the upcoming live show in New York and its special features.
“Matty's story's definitely in next week.”
Darts and Show Timing
45:15 to 46:31
Conversation about the timing of the live show and potential darts event conflict.
“Yeah, the big dogs are playing darts at seven.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00If you're a small business owner, you'll know just what it's like to be the chief everything officer. HR, payroll, employee benefits well Gusto can do all of that for you Gusto is online payroll and benefits software built for small businesses it's all in one, remote friendly and incredibly easy to use it's quick and simple to switch to Gusto just transfer your existing data to get up and running fast try Gusto today at gusto.com forward slash locked on soccer and get three months free when you run your first payroll that's gusto.com forward slash locked on soccer
0:48Look at us with our caps on back to front. We look like a couple of managers from Pee Wee League. I've got really big shorts on as well. And a really big T-shirt. I would say I'm as far close to being American as I ever have been. You're an adopted American. Tommy Tuchel's Red and White Army. Harry Kane is the best player I've ever seen Ever After last night I think he was second in performance To Jude Bellingham personally Yeah Well if anybody bothered watching the first thing we said You'll know in the first half an hour What kind of nick he's in And there was two things Remember when there was a high ball at the box And he just I might stand up here Can I stand up?
1:30Yeah stand up yeah High ball and he wasn't favourite He just gave up one of them and put the fuck off, and brought the ball down and got a shot off. And the other one, he dropped deep, took it on his chest, moved the ball and passed it to Madiwiki. And I thought, he's on his game. Third one for me, 90, I'm going to say 93rd, 94th minute maybe, deep in our own six-yard box, chucking his neck in the way of a shot. The old neck-saving challenge. it's a long neck as well actually it's a longer neck than what you think when you see it live in fact I'd go as far as I say it's a dinosaur neck we've recorded this episode in two parts haven't we back from the game last night and we recorded the other part yesterday didn't we?
2:23Best stadium you've ever been in? yes, do you know what I thought you know people saying game's gone over here with hydration breaks like we've talked about but margaritas the ground's not going to be the same i mean they do it right don't they the yanks the only criticism i'll have is i found myself watching the screen instead of the live game i was at yeah it was like a boxing match when you couldn't see the ring but we were like roll 13 yeah so the pitch was actually a better view than the telly you did find yourself didn't you with a crick in your neck you ended up like a neck like harry kane but good for highlights yeah very good if you weren't sure on what had happened yeah we wouldn't have had any problem in at the AFCON final we'd have known exactly what's gone on yes one more tactical thing for me if you don't mind I know you might be boring but do you know when people are saying about Foden and think he should be here Palmer yeah when he was dropping deep in Germany he dropped deep get turned and there'd be nobody running so he'd just pass it out wide to forwarding or somebody who would do exactly the same thing but he did it I remember you saying, he's dropping into the back four to get the ball but when he's turned, and it was good being there because you could see it happening, Gordon straight away trying to get in behind so it's obviously a thing where he's trying to get him in with that pass or the other one, the Maduiki I think we've realised we've got trained eyes, haven't we?
3:55I was speaking to George after on about their second goal you know, we're the one and Rhys James who played really well, by the way but the guy who's headed it back he's made a run and then checked and then made another run and Rhys James probably should have gone with him on the run and George would actually mesmerise that I could see that You know what I mean? 680 fucking professional football games. And George was like, you actually know what you're on the bat, don't you? I'm like, George, fuck off. Yeah. But I think, going back to that point, if Foden and Palmer are on the pitch and Kane gets turned in that position, they're not making them runs.
4:40Yeah. Pace, haven't we? We've got lots of pace in the team. In Tommy we trust. Yeah. Sir Tommy, build a statue. I think he's getting carried away. Can you be a sir if you're German? He can do what he wants. If he wins the World Cup, we'll make an exception. What did you think, Chris? Yeah, like you said, they're really going to turn up straight away and they come out of the blocks, didn't they? Well, I thought the first 10 minutes they looked a bit shit. At the back. And I think Tommy will tighten them up now at the back. A bit rusty. I'd love to hear he's half-time. Sounds like it was epic, didn't it?
5:20I think it was Cairns called it a speech. Really? Yeah. And you're giving Sunday job in that German twang. And you'll be pleased to know we utilised the hydration breaks. We did. A pint of frozen margarita each. Well, that's the positives, the pre-game stuff. What did we go to? Texas Live. That was almost as impressive as a stadium. So you're talking Fans Park. what we were sold as got there you're talking bars multiple bars restaurants big screens rodeo bowls DJ DJ you're basically walking around Trafford Centre on it yeah pretty much same size unbelievable setup and then at the ground you can you can take your take your beer take your drink while you're watching the game I mean the work working but we are in our seat we had a leaflet with a barcode and you could just order anything off the menu, which we didn't do because it said it was closed or something for the day, which was a bit annoying.
6:21So probably no one had put the leaflets out, was it? Some poor guys had to run all the way down and put 80 ,000 leaflets out. Best food I've had at ground as well. Yes. Nachos with spicy. Beef biscuit. I'm going to be honest with you. The beef biscuits let me down a little bit. Oh, I enjoyed mine. That's the only one you had though, isn't it, yesterday? You had one later on. I had one in the ground. Ah, I had a beef brisket jacket, Tati, that were it. Yeah. Tati was a bit hard, wasn't it? Yeah, not enough butter. Have they got butter here? I think there's cows, so I'm... They killed them off at brisket.
7:00But yeah, not many faults in that ground. So, going forward, happy with our first performance? Got to be, haven't we? Would you make any changes for the second game? I'll come back to this. Would you make any changes? I might put Gea in. That's what I was going to come to. That was a big call. See, we know what we're on about, don't we? Telepathic. If we could have played together. What a strange one, though. I would have thought he'd have been the first defender on the team's team. Especially with Stones not playing that much. Tommy, we trust. I know. It's not a criticism, Chris. I'm not saying that, but it was a...
7:36Him and Saka, big calls. Unless he's been carrying a bit. you know carrying a knock or something yeah but he's put him on hasn't he I know so if he were carrying a knock he wouldn't put him on to risk I was thinking it could be a long tournament but Croatia's the hardest game so you'd have thought pick his strongest team and then maybe leave a couple for the final game if they're through but tell you what Jed Spence fucking hell he's brilliant him you like caffeine calling him Jed now I got it wrong yesterday calling him Jeff yesterday Spence it was fucking remarkable when he came almost man of the match performance in that 17 minutes or whatever it were I said on the video imagine having the depth to bring Morgan Rodgers Marcus Rashford and Piquio Sackler on not bad is it Chris?
8:31we're not getting too excited last night you were you were telling to buy a final ticket last night was I? you were pissed Can I just say as well the England fans before, after the game brilliant everyone fantastic spirits because we always say the negative press England fans get it seems like if one little thing goes wrong it's all over the papers From what we saw everything was all fine and dandy weren't it I don't know if what else has gone off anywhere else but from what we saw everything's been fine and dandy rodeo the night before everybody getting on and soaking in the culture the Americans the Croatians the English all getting on together it's good to see what was a strange one though if you saw an England shirt walking towards you you weren't sure where they were from no no because you'd say hello and they go and the howdy yeah a lot of Americans in England shirts yeah there seems to be a lot of Americans that have picked a team but then I suppose if you are from Texas you know it's such a big country and there's a game on your doorstep and you can get a ticket you're going to go aren't you and then pick a team oh they might pick a team for the day they probably will then they'll have the Mexico shirt on quite fickle aren't they with the team selection yeah but there was a fella and he couldn't have looked any more English he bought the wig he had some kind of wig on face paint, England shirt, England socks and he was from fucking Croatia or somewhere hollering up croatia yeah i picked a bad example but he was summer he was wasn't from tamworth put it that way i tried to get him on film and i said this is the best dressed man i've seen and then kuman came on started speaking well i'm gonna say we'll get to semis now yeah i'm happy with I started with quarters.
10:33I'm not saying I'm going to win the World Cup. You've been having problems, haven't you? I'm going to be happy with semis now. You've been having problems, haven't you? Ah, yeah. Right, so you're in about three seconds in different clothes. Yes. Next stop, Boston. Well, we're going to Austin. Might as well while we're here. Bit of line dancing. I've seen all. You having a drink today? I've got a lot of driving to do, me, haven't I? I was thinking about this before I went to sleep. If you get us to a wide open space, I'll take over. But I'm not driving around here. It's for your sake as much as mine.
11:08To be fair, I think only me and George can drive that one because we have to give our licences at the desk. Excellent news. Yeah. Excellent news. Bugger. It's a break that to you. But yeah, next stop, Austin, then Boston. Yeah. From Austin. What a Boston. You might get bored of this, but we need to say a massive, massive thank you to Batano. So, little boredom here, John. We're going to keep saying thank you, because without him, we wouldn't be here, lads. Now, you might be seeing a lot of Batano at this World Cup with their LEDs at every game, because they're the official supporter of the 2026 USA.
11:46I saw the boards at the England game going round. Yes, so did I. It's not an energy drink. I need to say thanks to Batano, because I put my first bet on in about four years at the football, because I thought we're here. they're supporting us they're supporting the World Cup I'll put a bet on five games all come in winners including Portugal Portugal drew I know they did but I stupidly didn't put it on the games to win I'd bet on the toss who'd win the toss as if that's even a thing which I didn't realise after six pints as if that's a market it did me well who won the toss I know I was fuming because Portugal and drew it paid out I had a look on app I was like did Portugal win?
12:30did Portugal no I'd bet on the toss I was just saying yesterday that it's user friendly to use the app viewed by a few pints deep it's not really with the app it's user error that's what it was user error no but yeah massive thanks to Batano and as under the cosh listeners and viewers we've got an unbelievable offer 40 to 1 on England to reach the quarter finals that's running all throughout the group stage for new signups. And all you're going to do is go to www.betano.co.uk slash kosh and get unbelievable offer. T's and C's apply. Please gamble responsibly. If your business runs on five different apps, 12 browser tabs, and one spreadsheet that everyone's afraid to touch, it's probably time for Odoo.
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14:00Learn more at odoo.com. That's O-D-O-O dot com. I'll tell you what does need addressing. Some of the stats and facts that were handed out in last week's episode. The confidence of the 1.7 billion. I can only go with the information that's fed to me. All fed it, yeah. Basically, I'm passing the book on this one. I mean I've made a lot of cock-ups in my time, but I'm not taking this one. 1.7 billion is a lot of money. England would have probably been the third world richest country. Well exactly, that's why it was top of the list, because it was an unbelievable amount. There's a reason it was unbelievable, because it was total bullshit.
14:39The actual figure is 1.65 billion pounds less. Is that right? 50 million for the winner? 50 million. It's a lot of money less. Yeah, a lot of money less. The lads are not getting quite as good a bonus for winning, have they? That's a big margin to be out. Fuck me, George. Just think what Elliot Bennett could have done with that.
15:03Yeah, 50 million prize. The total prize amount is 871 million. I do believe. Across all the second, third splits. I do believe when I said the figure one first mentioned, I think I said something like, is that the whole total prize fund? It's not even that. No, nowhere near that. A lot of money, that. But again in our defence. Public service announcement for me. Oh, go on. Japan beat England. They did. There's another one we fucked up on. Hand up. And Elliot Bennett's not here. Say we fucked up on. Is Elliot here? Elliot's definitely not here, is he, bless him? The thing is, I did read it and go with it, though.
15:46This is a bit, this is a Barry one. Haiti, not. What did we say? High 80. High 80? Yeah. That's just, everybody pronounces words differently, don't they? Would you say it's tomato or tomato, kind of? Yeah. In our defence, first one, and it was off the back of two, three days in Las Vegas. I don't think we were all firing on all cylinders. But still, 1.7 billion. I've just got one more apology. There was a lot of exposed gusset from me. Feet as well. Feet. Well, Chris, I have got shoes on still. I know I clasped as shoes, but it was the basic instinct. I think I went there, there. So I've just done it again.
16:27I've gone there. I've got a bag of your shorts on. I've took heed, and my feet are in. Firmly in. I'm going to say, George, shit backs. All three of us. Shit feet. Well, not on the ball. Matty, you're taking the blame for the feet. So we're bad camera angles. so we're all off the back of Vegas need a good slap on the water must do better yeah out of 10 threes yeah in the mirror
17:00you needed that like there's a bit of a wiggle yeah I did that yeah that's just what I needed must do better a fucking baking tray around my head yeah sound don't fuck about with that all day I'm taking it everywhere with you I'm in a half decent more right doing all the fuck about because that will send me under. I love the sound. I'm half tempered. I was going to volunteer myself there just for the sound. I don't look at him now. I'll just keep it here. Discard it. Keep it here. Can we talk about the tray? We can talk a bit more about the football but the Vegas trip, the video is out when? Tomorrow.
17:42Any Friday Club listeners will know John's got a penchant for little people. I'll tell you what, that's an excellent word. We've been doing this eight years. I've never heard the word ponchons. Yeah. As George could do that word. It's definitely not a word. Wake up, you dickhead. Ponchons. As George could do that word. No, I'm pretty sure. Have I used it in the right context? Yeah, I have, yeah. I doubted myself then. I doubted myself. And I haven't, by the way. You are all. Just play the video from the algorithm. Yeah. By the way, there's somebody in this establishment, a dirty bastard on our Twitter.
18:26You can watch reels and that now, can't you? Yeah. And I was watching Cunha's best bits against Brighton, and it just came to a natural end. And the next thing, a video of somebody sucking a fella off in a swimming pool came out. I thought, how has that happened? somebody's swaying the algorithm yeah that's what I'm saying it's not me I can tell it's not me great mask for somebody who wants him to who isn't organised you might you might suspect it's me but I'm telling it's not I'll tell you what Instagram scroll your first three on your own personal thing it and see if any in fact I'm going to press mine and I've got Dean Saunders on Talk Sport that's how boring I am and I've got somebody hitting a golf shot I've got a lot of fishing ones me what about the reels do we not need to go on reels that would be the what's reels that fourth one there
19:32oh no no no No! No!
19:42Who's she? Who's she? No, she... He's blushing! No, she's... She's a dwarf! She's three foot nine! She's three foot nine? Flick up, let's see the next one. Oh, that is textbook. Oh, it's a dwarf! It's another dwarf! It's another dwarf! It's a dwarf in lingerie! Let's go put that trick.
20:18What's your name?
20:22Guilty, I know it might look suspicious. Send him down. I genuinely didn't... I've never pressed that button. Is it a bad thing if I were to be into really small women? Absolutely not. We all have our different things that we're into. I'm not, by the way, but sometimes it came up on me phone. But I think we were all done. We were flagging. Really flagging. Walking down Fremont Street in Vegas, kind of ready. I think there were one or two of us ready for bed. I've not been well. I'd had a dodgy burrito, I think. I thought I was delirious walking down the thingy and I just saw a sign in the distance saying midget wrestling.
21:11And I thought, nah, I've had too much to drink. Well, I went for a closer investigation and she gave us a leaflet and said, yep, upstairs on the left. We even got$10 off with the flyer. Did we? $30 entry,$20 with a flyer. And if ever we needed a pick-me-up, that was it. Yeah. It was superb, wasn't it? I'll be honest, when we first went in, I thought, oh, is this right? But we were chatting with a main guy who runs it. He's been in Jackass. Proper boy, isn't he? Yeah. And all the cast, all the athletes, they completely embrace it. They're loving it. I think there was a disclaimer from the compa saying, you know.
22:01If you're easily offended, fuck off. Yeah. They're here because they want to be here. Yeah. And they love it. It's good fun. Yeah. Really good fun. But yeah, the video's out tomorrow. But I didn't, I never thought I'd be on all fours bowing and receiving a bacon tray to the head in a wrestling ring. No. Off. From Little Chica. Little Chica. Oh, she's. What a beauty. Would you? So, I mean, we've just arrived in Dallas. or a beauty so we'll take her out for a drink no no she was leaving with her husband and two kids yeah she just given birth not long ago and she's back in the ring I'm in a ring that's how much she enjoys it through pro but so we'll have to see what Dallas has got for us a lot of balls do you know being here with we only what we've only watched the second half of the USA again and I do feel like I mean it's amazing being here and we haven't really got involved in the the fan experience yet but not other than the USA fans yeah do you feel like you're missing out on that that World Cup feeling fever that you get but you know when there's just a match on yeah constantly yeah well there's four on isn't there there has been four on yeah and you just you stay on the couch all day and it just rolls over in the next one it's class and even if you're at work you know lunchtime or put match on or there's a match on or if you're in an office you might have tv on it in that grain with all matches on are you working from home there's just one on i'll be honest with you i'll be i'll be half raising when like haiti against oh you've done it again john well somebody shits cape verde cape verde spain's on i'll be raising the coronation street wines on instead of that i tell you what that didn't age well either because i think you slaughtered cape verde and they've ended up drawn with Spain, haven't they?
23:48I stand corrected. They are very good. They're a good outfit. I think they'll go last 16. 100 % last 16. What a result for them, right? That's like 500 ,000 population. That's like getting the best of Barnsley and Bolton. Get your best lads together from Barnsley and Bolton competing World Cup. There's always since we've won, though, don't there? Like, first game of a World Cup. There's always one result that's, like, outrageous. What I will say, the last World Cup, Saudi Arabia beat Argentina. First game. Do you know what happened next, John? They've got three points. Argentina went on to win it.
24:26Aye. So, did you pick Spain? George picked Spain. He's having a bad trip, though, George, isn't he? So far. Terrible trip. Just double-check there, Saudi Arabia beat Argentina. I'm not 100 % certain. Nobody dare say it out there, Heather.
24:49If you were to be offered an England shirt, you can get a free one, F.A. Say, lads, you can have a free England shirt, but you need to have a name on back. Pickford. You could walk around Dallas in a goalkeeper shirt. My fucking hand's off, yeah. What, can it be any name? Yeah. No, you've got to have a name out of England squad. Who are you having? Oh, good question. Bennett.
25:17Who would I like? I'm going full. I'm going Gorky. I'm going Jordan. I'm getting my money's worth. Bellingham. Pound a letter. Yeah. Jude. You're the VZ, you tight bastard. I think I've got Rodgers. I like Rodgers. Buck. Chuck. Is it Buck or Chuck? Chuck Rogers. Chuck Rogers. Buck. Yeah, Jordan, my favourite player. I know, yeah, that's good. It does feel like, because we're over here grafting, it does feel like we're missing out on. Yeah. So, on the back of that, let's just say England went on to win the World Cup. Right? Would you rather be here and at the match on that day and experience it, or be back in England and the euphoria of the whole country, exploding with joy, dancing on the streets.
26:18I'd rather be watching it with my family, I think. And this is a much lower thingy, but not in my household, it's not. Normally I'll watch the Sunderland games just on my couch on my own. But then when Sunderland played Newcastle both times, it was in my mans, with my uncle, aunties, brothers. And it was brilliant. when someone scored, everyone's, you know, and that's what I'd want if England are playing with your friends and family. Yeah. I wouldn't even be that asked about being there. I wouldn't be asked about being in Trafalgar Square or whatever. I'd rather be with my family. See, I'd rather be at the game.
26:55Would you? Yeah, because, like, obviously, there's only going to be like, I don't know, 30 ,000 here who can say I was at the game. I saw anyone win the World Cup. And I tell you what does piss me off. You know when you go and watch a game at a pub? Like if I went to the Arsley Oaks Working Men's Club to watch the game.
27:18Non-footballing people come and watch the game, don't they? Right, so people who don't know fuck all about football commentating and criticising when they know nothing about it. But they're just getting wrapped up in the emotion of it, aren't they, John? The World Cup's for everyone. No, it gets annoying. It's for everyone. I didn't go to the wrestling the other day did I and say oh you should have done that love. I heard you, sharp shooter, sharp shooter. Kick her in the fanny. And it weren't the right time to kick her in the fanny. To be fair she wasn't exactly correct to kick him in the fanny.
27:52Everyone all of a sudden is the master of tactics. Yeah that's the bit substitution. Bring Bennett on. That's the bit that winds me up. I'm like, come on. On the back of that then? What would you rather do?
28:10In an ideal world, yeah. Here with us at the game or at home with Oscar, Juno, Rose, mum and dad. Yeah, at home. In a perfect case scenario, it would be you, Rose, Oscar and Juno at the game. Then that's a memory, isn't it? Yeah. My ideal would be me, Rose, Juno, Oscar, my dad. Chica What about Lola? Lola's coming Lola's coming with me On the back of that then the club country divide thing some people country Sunderland win the Premier League Sunderland win the Champions League or England win the World Cup Was the Premier League and Champions League together as one? I've elevated it. So have they won the double?
29:04Yeah, if they won the double. They win the double. Yeah, the double all day long. Fuck it, quadruple. League Cup, FA Cup, you've got the lot. I think you might have took it a bit far with the European Cup. Would you rather Sunderland win the Premier League or England win the World Cup? England win the World Cup. Would you rather Bolton survive in the Championship or England win the World Cup? England win the World Cup. Do you know what? Obviously, Bolton promoted for the playoff final. I'm a big fan. No. Seeing everybody. You know how I talked about in the bar afterwards, just all the town there and the euphoria and everybody hugging and having a good time.
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29:48To see the whole country do that, it'd be incredible. National holiday, isn't it? That's what all of a bit bothered about. I'm about a day off work. We've won the World Cup. Oh, I've got Monday off. Barnsley? Would I rather Barnsley win the Premier League or England win the World Cup? Yeah. England win the World Cup. I'm selfless. Quick break, gents, for one of our favourite partners that have been the saviours of this trip numerous times. I know for you, John. Nord VPN. Yes. Bouncing your location back to the UK on numerous occasions. I never thought I'd need it or want it, but the BBC and ITV punditry I've missed.
30:36It's second to none compared to Fox, ESPN. Sorry, chaps, but it's true. Yeah. So I can officially confirm in the state of Nevada, you do not have to confirm that you are over 18. In the state of Texas, you do need to prove it to watch certain sites. You understood the assignment. and you've produced. So when we got here, you had to bounce your location. Back to Norway. I see, I see. Well, if you don't know what a VPN is, you can bounce your location to anywhere in the world, which is ideal if you want to watch the TV that's on back at home while you're away, or you're at home and you want to watch something that's not on in your own country.
31:20It's been a while since I've been away, but it's great to see the security still. Yes, it is. Touch tight, watertight. an extra level of security on all your devices your phones your laptops that keep your passwords and you all in bank details away from any of them naughty naughty hackers it's a no-brainer yeah I don't know anybody who signed up and then cancelled well you can't cancel there's a 30 day money-back guarantee if you're if you're not enjoying it but I guarantee that will not be the case and there's a link in the description with a heavy heavy discount for all you under the cosh listeners and viewers Did you see the robbery at the England camp?
32:04I've seen, yeah, I've seen some. I don't know the ins and outs. I think I'm going to say the team buzz. There was a bit of thievery going on. They've got the culprits. They've caught them, two of them. But there were boots and shirts and training kit and stuff nicked. But I was thinking, would that be a big thing in the camp? Have your boots got nicked? superstition some of them players have probably played in their boots all season I don't think it's as big a thing as when Shergar got stolen if I'm perfectly honest or Jules Romain because you can get another pair of boots I don't know if I might be wrong but I think players go through that many pair of boots now that they've not got their own specific one there might be a lucky pair of underpants in there or something Well, there's going to be, I know they'll be able to get them pretty readily available, but there's going to be a couple of days delivery, aren't there?
33:02There's going to be a lot of faff. Do they have sports direct in Dallas? What, do you think they're going to get the shit ones? They're just going to do a bulk order. They don't stock Skechers. Harry's not going to be at there. What's Harry going to do? Where can you get a pair of Skechers football boots from? Again, I might be wrong. I don't think Harry Kane ever wears a pair of sketches apart from when he's doing that advert he plays in sketches oh does he is there really I knew that would get I knew it would get what he is you think you were running around in a pair of blimpsholes I thought he would do it fucking Jamie Reddnard advert
33:4630 goals in the Bundesliga in a pair of blimpsholes it is unbelievable though that he he does actually wear them and you see him strike the ball and you're like he's got a fun pair of I just imagine and then slip on ones you'd have to bend down yeah maybe that's why he's done some that's why he's going to come into this season this tournament on fire because it's comfy I mean a lot of them will I imagine they I imagine they left the Skechers I'll take the Knights I'll take the Adidas oh fuck leave the Skechers leave the Skechers like when you got your car robbed and they left your suit nah I'm not bothered about that yeah did you know that when I got my car nicked outside Louisa's I was going to the races the next day plush suit shoes in the back they left that but took me dangling ball bag
34:34we could have done with them on this trip at all gone back to the boots because I've tried to wear a lot of boots and they take a while to get worn in don't they a week or so if they're in your yeah you mean the actual Well, see, I used to wear Copas, and they were quite, because I knew I liked them. They knew that. That's what I was coming on to. Copa Mundiales, I used to, three o 'clock kickoff, stop off at Sports Direct on the way to the game, tags off, and just play it. Yeah, they were always sound, weren't they? A lot of boots. You need to wear them in. Yeah, they're a bit tight. They take some stretching.
35:12Copas, not a problem. I can't imagine anybody wearing Copa Mundiales. Also, have you heard about the chef? England chef. they were almost I think going not just to Sports Direct but to the subway and all or Taco Bell or something because the chef didn't get there on time for the first training camp he'd been stopped I'm going to say arrested but that's probably a bit too far carrying knives on the on the underground or the tools like a plate turned up with his boots he had his cutting knives his chef's knives and a policeman stopped him I don't know if he had them concealed Sorry, just walking around with them.
35:51But, yeah, you can't carry, obviously, blades on there. And an investigation went on. They got it cleared and they got there. See, surely, like, the chef is a really, really important role. Why not get him a taxi? Like, why is he on the underground? You know, from wherever he's landed and he's getting to the hotel. Surely the FASA, I'll tell you what, we'll get you an Uber. You'd think so. I've not spoken to the liaison's officer. You know what I mean? If he's that important to bring, surely he's that important to get a taxi from wherever he needed to be. Yeah. Oh, but maybe he's just like, you know, he's making the most of the trip and staying in the city.
36:35He's like, oh, I'll make my own way, though. At least put your knives in an Uber. Right, the way through that, I was waiting for the punchline. I thought it was one of your gags. I mean, if he'd put them in buzz, he still wouldn't have had his knives, would he? Well, no, but he wouldn't have been arrested. True. But he made it. Got his knives. Apparently. A bit of pasta and chicken. Apparently. Before he got there, Jordan Pitford just made a couple of omelettes. Just not allowed a couple of omelettes. Thing is, anybody that's over here will know that you need a visa, Esther, to get into the country.
37:11Yes. And we do what we always do. It's been planned for fucking ages. We need to sort our esters. It doesn't happen. But then 10 days before we went, I think you made a stand and said, right, tonight, let's all do our esters. And initially, I was going to do them for us. But I thought, if I make a mistake and somebody doesn't get here, then all that is going to be worse. Worse than Elliot Bennett making the squad. Yeah, exactly. So everybody do their own mistakes. Yeah, but in fairness to you, we got back from a recorder about eight o 'clock, half seven, eight o 'clock. It was a fool's guide to doing it.
37:49This is what you put in. This is what you do. So me, Matty and Chris had obviously done it and I knew fine well. It was a punt. This was the Wednesday. Got to Thursday. Friday morning, I thought, right, here we go. I'll dangle the carrot. And I used my, you know that G-Rock? I fucking knew it were. I fucking knew it were. That's why I didn't panic. That's why I didn't panic. Ten seconds.
38:28All right. I was sat on my couch comfortable. So there was a US database glitch causing three-week delays. Not only does he make Pochettino do a backflip, he can change dates on US database errors within 10 seconds I'm just doing mine now and then every bit of advice guidance Chris gave he asked the question what do I put what did you put for this what did you put for that but I also sent it to a couple of his mates right George pass me my phone pass me my fucking dog and bone to be fair it was probably the kick up the ass he needed exactly There's a lesson there, isn't there? Yeah, right. He couldn't be asked to do it when we were all doing it.
39:18So, did you send it to Carlton? I sent it to Carlton. Yeah. So, Carlton sent me the exact thing. The US State Department Global Database for processing visas and passport is experiencing problems that could cause delays for millions of people around the world who are waiting for travel documents. Right, so that's what he sent. I'm on with it now, pal. Cheers. Two of them sad emojis, I've got the cut you sent as a screenshot. Hope you sought it. Yeah. I put, this looks awfully like the one that Brownie sent me. Hope you're not playing silly beggars. So I knew, didn't I? I knew. And then I sent him.
40:00I don't think you did. When I got it approved, I sent him it saying approved. You didn't know. All right. All right. Well, we'll do an investigation. A bit of a... So has he sent you the screenshot of what I put to him as well? It's a fucking little break. We've got a new feature as well for these World Cup episodes. What's it called, George? Speak. Speak pipe. So there's a link pinned to our Twitter, and I think it's been on Patreon as well, and it's in the description for the episode. You can basically leave us a voice note. If you're out here, I want new songs. I think we need some new songs.
40:42You know I love a pop remix. And we've had one in already, I know that. It's a house. Well, it is Scooter. Scooter, are you ready? What's the genre though? It's not pop, is it? I'd say it's like European. Hardcore? Pop techno. Pop techno, I'd say. Shall I play it? But, well, yeah. I think it's a good one. But, I mean, what else? If you're out here, any stories, you can leave us a voice note. But if you want to give the lads a rallying call, we can be that medium. Or if you want to just give us any shit or anything. I fucking knew you'd sent it to Carlton. Why didn't you say it out? Eh? Why didn't you say it out?
41:23Because I didn't want you to get the satisfaction. I got the satisfaction 10 seconds later when you went, I'm just doing it now. You literally just press on the link, it takes you through, and then you just record for 90 seconds, and it comes straight to us. No farts, though, I've heard. No farts, please. Please no farts. Nah. You know what that means now, don't you? 300 farts tomorrow morning. Yeah, I'd like a couple. I'd like a couple. But we've had a song through already, haven't we? I knew it. Everybody needs to know the song, I think, but I like it. What's the original song? Just before you press play, am I right in saying it's the one that the Dutch fans do the jump to?
42:03Ah, right. We're taking it from the Dutch.
42:09out on the wings jude and rice the midfield kings and now we're too cool we're taking all over all over the world we're taking all over the world seco and gordon out on the wings jude and rice midfield kings and now we're too cold we're taking all over all over the world We're taking all over the world. I can see that. Yeah. You could do your locket. Get the bounce going. I think the England always create a good atmosphere, but that bounce, side to side bounce, I think that's the song that doesn't make it happen. We're softening a bit. England fans always kind of rejected any kind of European influence or any other influence.
43:00I mean, I still quite like it. you know where the Mexican wave goes around them and they all just give it the yeah it's very English but I like that thing have you got we need to get transcript because I want to learn it shall I do the Sacker and Gordon out on the wings Jude and Rice our midfield kings and now with Tuchel we're taking all over all over the world we're taking all over the world public service announcement for any other England fans out here. Apparently, quite a few of the grounds. I'm not 100 % on whether it's all the grounds or what, but you need your actual physical passport to get a beer at the ground.
43:44And is it one drink per person? I presume it will be a way. That is vital. So I'm in trouble. Yeah, that is vital, but also dangerous. I reckon there'll be a few up going to the embassy. Luckily, we've got Principal Park in with us. and his bum bag.
44:03And so not only do you need fucking shit loads of money, you also need your physical passport to get a drink. Are we having our stories? Well, I think he adopted his... Well, we've got... I don't think we've got time for... Matty's story's definitely in next week. Remember, we did... We've got a fake one this time. He's not going to have tit on all the time, I know his story's not been on this one. Oh, not like that. Before we do go, live show, New York. 26. Rumours of a special guest, we'll see. But 26, Madison Square Garden. Tickets are on the website. As if the cosh are on Madison Square Garden.
44:49www.underthecosh.com. slash live. We've got the tickets are available now. Definitely maybe bar. Yeah, we've got the band on. We're going to have DJ. We're going to do... A little bit of sales. We're going to do a bit of sales and then have a big bloody party, aren't we? It's going to be a good day. I'm just putting it out there, Chrissy, because I know that there is a... Just our luck, this, by the way. There's a darts... That look. Yeah, the big dogs are playing darts at seven. The Arras. That must be anything when people call it the Arras. Yeah. completely off the thing remember the Merry Dartmas advert that's one of the worst I've ever seen but the best I've ever seen Dan Byrne boots advert unbelievable have you seen it no oh get it we'll get it on get it on after this are the sketches after this no boots sun cream he's having a rough oh I thought you meant football boots I thought you meant football boots but he's having a rough ride because he caught a few strays on here last week yeah and if you listen Dan or anybody I apologise, I just didn't know you were coming.
45:58Is the scope for a bit of an earlier start? Yes, five till seven. To get pre-darts? Yeah. Yeah. We'll get the DJ, we'll get the band on a bit earlier. We can do a bit, for anybody going to the darts, we'll do an early shift, five till seven, and you can fuck off to darts, realise darts is shit, and come back again. Yeah. Or four till six. We might go start earlier, aren't we? Yeah, if you're interested, just give us a look. We'll be there from four o 'clock. Yeah. We haven't even discussed this. No, we'll let you know the actual arrangements when we decide what we're doing. Can you sign us off, John?
46:33Right, up the USA Cosh.
From the publisher
Howdy Coshers, we are all in good spirits after a great start to the tournament on the pitch and a great US trip so far which has included; theme parks, midget wrestling and a lot of winding each other up.
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