Celebrating the 4th with nothing but bangers!

22:55It was Connie Britton. And she was sort of chatting up this guy who I just remember was wearing a yellow suit. So I'll tell you everything about him. And she was really chatting him up. And he thought he had hit the jackpot. It's like this is like this beautiful woman is talking to me. And then about 20 minutes into it, she was killed.

23:28I've had dates like that. I'm just sympathetic. You are going on Broadway in this revival of the Noel Coward play with the great Rose Byrne, among many others. The other thing you have coming out is a TV show on Peacock, a comedy called The Miniature Wife. And I have to say, I heard the title, and I said to myself, oh, that must be like a metaphor. It's about a wife. She's maybe in the shadow of her husband. She feels small. That's not what it's about, is it? No, no. It's about a man who has, he's a scientist who has designed a sort of serum that can miniaturize crops to combat climate change.

24:10So, you know, Matthew McFadden, who I love from Succession, and Elizabeth Banks, who I worked with many years ago in Williamstown, is literally six inches tall. Yes. And lives in the dollhouse. Yes. But they hate each other, and they're constantly trying to kill each other. So it's Honey, I Shrunk the Kids meets Tom and Jerry. Did you have to spend any time on set, like, crouching down and pretending you're talking to a six-inch high Elizabeth Banks? Yes. later in the season I do, Matthew hides the whole storyline of his wife from me for a long time until he finally can't and then there is a moment where he and I are both on the floor talking to a small cardboard cutout of Elizabeth Banks and they would sort of move her around and sort of pretend like she was walking.

25:01One more question for you like I said at the beginning I first knew you and became a big fan when you were on The Daily Show But I heard a story. I don't know. I don't know how this could be true that you ended up appearing on the Daily Show the same day You auditioned for it. Yeah, how is that even that is true? A couple of days earlier I had found out that my ex-girlfriend had gotten engaged and so I was very upset Yeah, I was writing one of those letters. No You know that you write to your ex-girlfriend saying how you up, you know, you and I can't say that Can I say that? I mean you just did it's all right you'll figure it out anyway so i'm writing this and i get this call uh to come on audition for the daily show and i and i i was in such a bad place uh that i said i can't come in today i don't feel like can i come in tomorrow and they said no if you don't come in today then it's done so i literally just like put on a suit and i went in and um i honestly just had this like attitude of like i'm never gonna get this this is ridiculous like i i'm in the wrong frame of mind and John met me and he said, and I was a little bit surly because he said to me, he said, have you ever performed in front of a live audience?

26:16And I remember looking at him and just being like, dude, I've been on Broadway. And I had such, but I just did my best Stephen Colbert impression because that's all I needed to do and I was a fan of the show. And he hired me right there on the spot and I was on the show that night and I didn't even get a chance to tell anybody and suddenly it was just, I was on the show and people were calling me and they were like, there's a guy who looks a lot like you on the Daily Show tonight so I didn't even get to tell my family until after it was on Did it comfort you, maybe given the circumstances of the day to know that maybe your ex-girlfriend would see you on this hit, incredibly culturally significant TV show and thinks to herself, my God, what have I done?

27:07You know, it's so funny. Like, the minute I got The Daily Show, I didn't really care about my ex-girlfriend that much. There you go. Lesson for you all, ladies and gentlemen.

27:23Asif Madhvi, it's a pleasure to talk to you. We have asked you here today to play a game we're calling Miniature Wife Meet Miniature Groom. So your new series is The Miniature Wife, and we're going to ask you about a place you usually find miniature brides and grooms on top of wedding cakes. Answer two out of three questions correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. The voice of their choice on their voicemail, Bill, who is Asif Manvi playing for? Linda Evers of Collinsville, Illinois. All right. Ready to play? Sure. Here's your first question. Wedding cakes have been around since at least ancient Roman times, but the tradition back then was a little different.

28:02Instead of the bride and groom cutting the cake together, what would happen? A, the bride would throw the cake as far as she could, and the groom would go find it and bring it back. B, they would break the cake over the bride's head. Or C, they would put a live squirrel inside it and wait for it to eat its way out, thus cutting the cake. I'm going to go with B. Yes, you're right. They would break the cake over the bride's head.

28:31Oh, they lost a lot of good brides back then. And all right, here's your next question. Wedding cakes, of course, are a tradition now. But if you were getting married in 17th century Europe, you and your guests would most likely be cutting into what at the wedding celebration? Would it be A, what was known as the bride's pie, a savory pie filled with oysters, lamb testicles, and occasionally live snakes, B, potatoes, basically just dozens and dozens of potatoes, or C, just the air, or as wedding planners of the time called it a cake of the mind.

29:13I'm going to say that they were just cut into potatoes. Potatoes. They just had a lot of potatoes at the time. No, it was actually A, the bride's pie, According to Wikipedia, in addition to the other tasty things, they would occasionally put a live snake there to quote Help guests to pass the time in a wedding I guess they did that because at the time they needed entertainment and they had no DJs, right? That is so it didn't come around until about the 1800s exactly true Yeah Uh, you have one more chance if you get this one in the one the one tradition today that every wedding expert tells you, just skip it, don't do it, is when the groom smashes the cake into the bride's face, right?

29:56Or the bride does it to the groom. One couple went so hard in the cake smashing bit that after they cleaned up, this just happened in January, they did what? A, they did it again, smashing each other in the faces with the entree from dinner, and then all the side dishes. B, they handed out cupcakes for their guests to smash on each other to join the fun, or C, they got divorced.

30:25The audience, you think they got divorced? Is that what the audience is saying? The audience thinks they got divorced. All right, I'll go with the audience. And they're right. You have to listen to the audience. They're right.

30:37Bill, how did Asif Man be doing our quiz? Asif got two right, and that makes him a winner. Congratulations. With a little help. With a little help. We're all here to help each other. It's a community. Asif Manvi, what a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us. Take care. Break legs on Broadway. Thank you. Take care. Bye-bye. When we come back, our panel proudly displays their refusal to actually pay attention to the news, and we visit with Kaylee Reese, the only actor who could ever win an E-G-G-O-T, an Emmy, Golden Gloves, Oscar, and Tony. That's when we come back with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

31:15from NPR. This message comes from IXL. The IXL Level Up Diagnostic gives you clear, just-in-time insight into student learning with benchmark results and real-time updates throughout the year. Even better, Level Up creates a personalized action plan for every student that guides them to what they should practice on IXL to improve. Learn more at IXL.com slash NPR. This message comes from Schwab. At Schwab, you can get everything from self-directed investing to full-service wealth management, all in one place. No matter your investing goal, life stage, amount to invest, or know-how, you can invest your way with Schwab.

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32:31From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo. Thanks, everybody. We are celebrating America's 250th birthday like most people by looking back with admiration and pride on its history. Well, not the whole 250 years and not necessarily the history of the whole country. Basically, just the recent part of its history that involves just us. Less significant events on the world stage, sure, but also way less to apologize for. Our panelists strangely never apologize for not knowing the news, even though it's their job to answer questions about it.

33:21Here are some of the questions we pose to our panelists that you have never heard before. Josh, this season, Major League Baseball, a lot of changes. Catchers are reporting that there is a huge increase this season in the number of times. What happens? It's not falling asleep during the games Because they've tightened those up Yes, they have It's something that's happening to catchers To catchers? Yes More frequently than it used to Is batters hitting them with the bat? Not with the They're not getting hit with the bat But like catcher interference? No No Getting hit Umpires hitting them No Damn you, sir Damn you I know what you're doing The back of my hand to you, sir Getting slid into?

34:06No, I'll give you a hint. Sometimes after a foul ball, the catcher also ends up with fouled balls. Oh. Catchers getting hit in the groin? Yes, by baseballs, yes. Sure. Catchers are taking baseballs to the junk a lot more than they used to. The players told the New York Times that there's been a huge increase this season in that, you know, getting hit by a baseball right in the peanuts and Cracker Jacks. I mean, it's great because Major League Baseball has been working so long to make baseball more entertaining And they've finally done it Now, the phenomenon is due primarily to this new stance that catchers are using behind the plate They don't crouch behind the plate anymore Most catchers are down on one knee with their other legs splayed out straight Which is a lot less fatiguing over the course of the game But it's basically when you do that, you're giving the pitcher two targets to choose from If I had two options of how to stand, and one of them got me hit in the testicles with a baseball a lot more than the other one, that would make my choice for me.

35:11I would give you another. When you're doing your list of pros and cons, that would pretty much be the only one on the con list. Less fatigue on one side, hit repeatedly in the testicles with a 90-mile-an-hour fastball. But then how are you going to win America's Funniest Home Videos? Shane, baseball star Bryce Harper of the Philadelphia Phillies posted a get ready with me video, right, on Instagram. But he got a lot of heat after he revealed he brushes his teeth by doing what? What, does he use a baseball bat? No. Do it. No. If, all right. I do this, so I think it might be this, because I never thought this was it.

35:52I put the toothpaste directly onto my tongue. That's it! And we're both great athletes. So this is amazing. Because Bryce is doing this Get Ready With Me video, and he just takes the toothpaste and he squeezes it into his mouth, puts down the toothpaste, grabs the toothbrush, and starts scrubbing. Yeah, we're both alphas. Wait a minute. And everybody was like, this is so weird. Nobody else in the world does this. And we, right here, have discovered the other human being who does this. This is amazing. So Shane I never thought I'd have something in common With someone who plays for Philly So what, Shane Is the advantage Of squeezing the toothpaste Onto your own tongue Rather than placing it On the toothbrush As God intended Do you want to know my logic behind it?

36:51Truly is that This is insane but I take it and I put it on my tongue. And by the way, I feel your judgment. I don't think they're trying to hide it. And then I take my tongue and I press it to the roof of my mouth because people brush their tongues, but people don't talk about brushing the roof of your mouth and I don't understand why you wouldn't because it's still... What's that got to do with you putting it on your tongue? It's an even application. Oh, I see it. It's like you're squeezing two pieces of bread together to get the sandwich all... Yes. This is boy brush your teeth. That is. Because y 'all locked in immediately together.

37:32I see the vision. Does this seem insane to everyone? Yes, it does. Because you can brush the roof of your mouth if you wanted to do that by putting your toothpaste on the brush. But now, Shane, I'm really thinking about this. Uh-oh. Seems like we got a con brush. Oh, I don't think so. But if you put it directly on your tongue, you never have to worry about water pressure kicking the toothpaste off the toothbrush before you brush your teeth. Something I never even thought about. See, you can add that to your reasons. Thank you very much. Bryce Harper and I thank you. Tom, a well-known mortgage company is expanding their business.

38:10They've announced that in addition to home finance loans with competitive terms, they will also offer what? They will also offer cemetery plots. How does that figure? I'm not much for math. It's probably like a 4%. I see what you mean. No, actually, I don't. That's not it, no. No? No. Like another kind of offering? Another, a completely different kind of product. Oh, totally different kind of product. Totally different kind of product. Oh, man, that could be anything. Is it related to mortgages? Not in any way that we can see. That's why we thought we'd bring it up here. Oh, they're going to sell tiny, genetically modified ponies.

38:56Yes. Of course. That'd be fun. Yeah. Tom, this is where you ask for a hint. Oh. Thank you. Bill never advised me like that. No, I wanted to talk more about the tiny little ponies. Me too, kind of. Sweet. May. May. Can I have a hint, please? Yeah, well, I guess in response, Lululemon will start selling mortgages. Oh, they're going to sell underpants.

39:29Athleticwear. Athleticwear, athleisurewear, yes. This week, the mortgage lender company, Rate, launched their new spinoff company, RateFit, which sells athleisure clothing. They say it's about, quote, building the world's largest wellness community, where your financial, physical, and mental fitness are in harmony, unquote. Yeah, so there's definitely going to be another mortgage crisis, okay? Yeah, is the CEO of that company some CrossFit dude on ketamine? That's what it sounds like. Possibly. It was his idea, apparently. This is like something he really wanted to do, so he started this new clothing line.

40:08They're making sweatpants, sweatshirts, and something called subprime yoga pants. and you'll be able to pay it off by the time you turn 60. That's the plan. I wish them well, but I just know in about a year and a half, they're going to be in a board meeting and that guy's going to have his head in his hands going, we should have done the ponies. Yeah.

40:39This message comes from IXL. iXL's Level Up Diagnostic gives immediate benchmark results along with personalized action plans that link directly to iXL's skill practice. More at iXL.com slash NPR. This message comes from Schwab. Investing with Schwab is like spending a Saturday at the farmer's market. You can fill your reusable tote bag with a bit of everything. Maybe you go for some free-range self-directed investing or pick up a few farm-fresh trades while you peruse. You can even get help from a dedicated advisor. That's full-service wealth management. No matter your goals or appetite for investing, Schwab has everything you need all in one place to invest your way.

41:23Visit schwab.com to learn more. This message comes from Mint Mobile. If you're tired of spending hundreds on big wireless bills, bogus fees, and free perks, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash switch. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Finally in January, we talked to an actor with a pretty unusual background. Instead of theater or film school in New York or L.A., she trained in a boxing gym in Providence, Rhode Island. Kaylee Reese was nominated for her role opposite Jodie Foster in True Detective, Night Country, which came very soon after her transition to acting.

42:01It was my third professional acting job, first TV show ever. Wow. And from a very young age, when did you start boxing? Around the age of 13 or 14, I found boxing. Prior to that, I played softball, played basketball. I'm one of five kids. I'm the youngest girl. I always tried to do what my big brothers did. But nobody in my family boxed. It was kind of, you know, growing up, I wanted to be the karate kid. I wanted to be Bruce Lee. You know, I was so obsessed with Rocky. So it just kind of happened. Yeah. Wow. I mean, you were obsessed with Rocky. Wait a minute. I know some elite athletes. it doesn't just kind of happen, right?

42:39You must have really been dedicated to it. Yeah, I was dedicated to it. I mean, I was a little rough kid growing up. I wouldn't start fights, but I'd finish them. Oh, yeah. So I didn't like to see kids getting bullied. I didn't like getting bullied, so I would always be the one standing up for the bullies, but I wasn't trying to be a fighter. I do come from a very musically inclined family, a very artistic family. Fun fact, my father used to actually play with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. No! Really? He was part of the bunch? He was part of the bunch. She was the keyboard player. So there was good vibrations everywhere.

43:14Wait a minute. You're a descendant of Marky Mark. You truly are. New England royalty. That is... I'll take that. I know. That is amazing. So, again, I stress how amazed I am that with a background not in acting, how good an actor you are. I know you have talked about how the discipline and focus of elite boxing has helped you in the acting world. But isn't there an element of acting in boxing, in the weigh-ins, when you're glaring at the opponent? You're fronting a little bit, right? Oh, it's an entertainment business at the very core of it. We're up on a stage, we're performing, there's a character.

43:56I'm not going around one shot and hitting people on the street. That's not who I am as a person, but it's also like, you know, you have to be an artist. You have to, you know, you have to be really calm. You have to prepare. But there are people who build characters, big charismatic entertainment. You know, all that buildup is really good for people to tune in. I mean, we have some really cool things happen in boxing because of that charismatic type of entertainment value of boxing. So absolutely, we are performing there. Right. I read that in True Detective Night Country, you play an Alaskan native.

44:30But what I read, and you can tell me if it's true or not, is that your native Rhode Island accent would come out frequently enough that they figured they'd better write that into your character. So that it would be explicable if all of a sudden you're like looking at a corpse or something and you're like, oh, that's wicked gross. Yeah, I love Asa, the director. She decided to make my character part of it because I was, you know, working with the dialect coach to keep my quote unquote accent at bay. I didn't want to sound like Peter Griffin making, you know, an investigation. You know what I mean?

45:03So I just. I think you just sold the next hit series for HBO, by the way. Hopefully with you in the lead. Go on. It was weird how your character always had a cup of Dunkin' in her hand at all times. So in everything you've starred in so far, from like True Detective to this new movie, Mercy, you always play people who seem like they could and would kick your ass at any moment. So do you ever like want to get cast in like a different kind of part, like a romantic lead in a Hallmark movie? Presumably a badass. I would love to. I would love to. You know, I want to dabble in some comedy. I would love to do some comedy.

45:37But, you know, I love a challenge. I love something that maybe I'm not as strong at yet. I would love to take any, you know, whatever is meant for me. I don't want to just stick to the, I mean, I can't help that the badassery just shines through. It does. It kind of does. I'm sorry. How about, let me put something to you. How about a Hallmark movie where you come back to your hometown, leaving the big city, and you find the guy who broke your heart 20 years before, and it turns out he's a jerk and you beat the crap out of him. I'm sorry. That's happened. It's fine. That's another show for HBO.

46:13We're lining up projects for you. Well, that'll be a documentary. Well, Kaylee Reese, it is a pleasure to talk to you. And we have asked you here, as we do with everyone, to play a game. And in your case, we're calling it... The future is here. And by here, we mean Las Vegas, because that's where every year the Consumer Electronics Show happens. It's the annual convention where tech companies show off their newest innovations, hopefully to the public that will love them. So we're going to ask you three questions about the CES Consumer Electronics Show, past and present. If you get two right, you'll want to prize one of our listeners.

46:49Bill, who is Kaylee Reese playing for? Christopher Wolf of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. All right. Hey, go birds! Here's your first question. At the 2017 CES, Intel made waves when they introduced their newest VR headset, which they handed out to members of the media, along with what? A, a nurse with an IV so they wouldn't have to stop playing and, you know, eat. B, protective gear for when they banged into each other while playing the games. Or C, barf bags. C. You're right. You knew it. And you're right, yeah.

47:30The demo program that they tried out included jumping off helicopters, traveling to Vietnam, flying high with a drone, and in some cases, apparently, projectile vomiting. All right. Good. You did that really well. Now, there are always robots being demoed at CES, but in 2020, the most exciting new robot had one purpose. What was it? A, to open your car door from the inside if you lock your keys in the car. B, to look up people's names that you have forgotten at a party. Or C, to bring you a roll of toilet paper if you run out while you are in the bathroom. I'm going to go with C because I hope that exists.

48:06It does. You're right. a tech company partnered with Charmin to create a new robot which you operate with your smartphone from the toilet. I need that. We all do. But here's the thing. So you have the wherewithal, the foresight to set up the robot in its little niche wherever it is with a roll of toilet paper on it, all set to go. Why don't you just put the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom? All right. Because sometimes stepchildren forget to put it in the bathroom and then you're stuck there with no toilet paper. I'm just going to say, I haven't seen all your projects as a performer, but I've never seen you more vulnerable than you were in that moment.

48:50See, I just gave you like an audition of my vulnerability. I know, man. I am ready to cast you in your latest project about a vulnerable, sensitive woman who's caught in a bathroom with no toilet paper. That's going to be my first short. Absolutely. We are planning a career here. Okay, last question. You were doing this pretty much about as well as you have done everything else you have ever attempted. At this year's CES, one manufacturer introduced a new device with which you can enjoy music. What is it? A, a large case with two built-in stereo speakers known as an iBoomBox. B, a lollipop that plays music inside your head when you suck on it.

49:31Or C, a robot bassist complete with genuine bassist scent. What was B again? B was a lollipop that plays music inside your head while you suck on it. I'm going to go with B because that sounds kind of cool. You're right again. I mean, your competence extends to everything. When you put lollipop scar, that is what it is called in your mouth, it vibrates against your teeth, which connects to your face bones, which connects to your ear bones, and it comes in three flavors, or rather, songs. Bill, how did Kaylee Reese do on our quiz? Well, if I don't get it right, she's going to come down and beat the living hell out of me.

50:15Fortunately, I don't have to because she is perfect. Three in a row. There you go. Honestly, Kaylee Reese is an Emmy-nominated actress and member of the International Women's Boxing Hall of Fame. You can see her in the new movie Mercy that is out next week. Kaylee Reese, what a pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you. We'll be back next week, rested and ready to start our second 250 years. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.

50:51Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Lillian King. Peter Gwynn's still gallantly streaming Our Vibes curator is Emma Choi Technical directions from Lorna White Our CFO is Colin Miller Our Ops manager is Jasira Vardek Our production manager is Robert Newhouse Our senior producer is Ian Chilag And the executive producer of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth Thanks to everybody you heard on our show this week All of our panelists, Alzo Slade, our guests And of course, Bill Curtis And thanks to all of you for listening I'm Peter Sagal And we'll see you next week

51:41This is NPR.

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