HTDE: Crushes and Smells

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0:59Well, let me get Darcy. Hang on a second. She's the one with the question. Okay. Oh, okay. Make sure we can get into a spot where you can hear us all right.

1:11Is she getting Darcy out of the back of a cupboard? Okay. She just ran in here. All right, Darcy, do you want to introduce yourself and tell Mike and Ian what your question is? I'm Darcy, and my question is, how do you tell a boy that you like him? Oh, my gosh. That's a tough question. How old are you, Darcy? Ten. Okay. Okay. Is this a generic question, or is there a boy we're talking about? There's a boy we're talking about. And is this a question on your behalf, or are you asking for a friend? On my behalf. Okay. All right. I appreciate the boldness here, Darcy. Let's get into it. Who's the boy?

1:57His name is Aiden. Okay. Aiden. And he likes the color blue and sharks, and he likes to play video games and stuff. I love it. Okay. He sounds lovable. So have you tried to tell Aiden that you like him? Not really, mainly because I'm afraid that he's going to say he doesn't like me. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's always the risk, isn't it? Okay, so when you guys are on the playground and you're talking, what do you guys talk about? It's sort of personal stuff. Sure. Yeah. Come on, Mike. Yeah, okay. Fair enough, fair enough. Has there been anything that has happened that maybe Aiden has said or done where you thought, oh, I think he does like me?

2:51Not really. You've got some information from your friends, though, and his friends, right? His friends say that he likes me, and my friends tell his friends that I like him I mean, that feels pretty, I feel like that's pretty solid information Do you feel confident in all of that? Kind of I also think it's one of those things where it is an act of bravery, no matter how it goes like if you get the news you want and he likes you back that's wonderful and you are brave if it turns out he doesn't like you back you are still brave that is like a thing to sort of go into it with because bravery is like everything okay did you want us to call Aiden right now?

3:43do you want us to just call him? we'll do it do you have his phone number? no good Wait, was that no, you don't have his phone number or no, you don't want Mike and Ian to call him? Both of them would be fine. Both of those things. Yeah, okay. Good. Darcy, I see really good judgment here. You're making all the right calls. All right, we are going to see if we can find somebody who can help Darcy find love. But in the meantime, I have a question that I have been wondering about. can a smell get stuck in your nose? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I've been there. You smell a smell and then you get away from the smell and you're still kind of smelling it.

4:32Claire Dumarc is online with us now. She's a researcher at University Paris-Saclay. Is the smell staying in my nose or is this psychological? That's interesting. That's interesting. So yeah, it's like the smell stays in your nose, right? Yeah. It stays in your nose and comes back when it's the one. So there is no scientific proof of this, of a smell that could, like, you know, hide in a corner of your nose and then come back later. So you might first know that smells, they are molecules. So they are particles, real particles that your nose detects. And those particles are supposedly eliminated once you smell them.

5:16Your system is done in a way that there is enzymes that are able to basically break those molecules. So we break the particles and the particles are eliminated. So the molecule that makes the smell is destroyed. Exactly, exactly. So you're not supposed to be able to smell it hours later. Wait, what destroys it? But when I smell it, then it immediately, its purpose is served and it disappears? tears exactly it's disincreed yeah it is broken basically in small parts okay and eliminated in your mucus and so by breaking it and the flow the molecule is eliminated once you smelled it once you kept it okay okay so when this thing happens it's all in my head it's all psychological so i wanted to go there after so it can be in your head yes like when you see something and you know a bit later you think again about it and you see it in your mind it can happen right like you see something then you do your life and later you take a coffee and it's like oh i saw that and you see the image in your brain right yeah yeah yeah it's it seems to be more something like this can i ask ian can i ask you a question what is the smell that when you think about this because i feel like i guess I'm going to guess what it is, but why don't you tell us what it is?

6:42I can't actually remember what made me start thinking about this, but I think what Mike is referring to is I have a child who is still in diapers. Exactly. Yeah. Occasionally, you will change a diaper, and half an hour later, you will think, did I do the job as well as I thought I did? and you find that you did and so this made me wonder is it hanging out in my nose and now i know it was just the trauma of changing the diapers so it does happen most of the time for unpleasant odor unfortunately yeah yeah yeah yeah earlier claire you said that you were i think you were joking that a small molecule of smell would be hiding in your nose and then you would find it.

7:36Is it possible for a molecule of smell to somehow be hidden under something or, you know, just be, you know, laying in wait? No, it is not possible that a molecule hiding in your nose and wait to arrive. Is there a reason that, you know, like an evolutionary advantage, a reason that a smell is destroyed when we smell it? It indeed It has to be because indeed, like if you had a permanent smell and something else happened and you cannot smell this other smell that is maybe very important for your survival, then you have to have the first smell disappearing. So you can be sensitive to the second one.

8:20And if the smell is not living and your system cannot process it, your brain will take over because the brain can basically also break the connections that make you smell something. this is also why you don't smell your own odor you have no idea what you're smelling other people do i'm not speaking about like a intense sweat that you have like sometimes this one you can smell it because you don't always smell like this but your permanent odor you don't smell it yeah can i ask claire as someone who's like i guess an expert in smell there are any number of bad smells is Is there a smell that people in your field regularly think of as one of the best smells?

9:06One of the best smells? Yeah, like, oh, that's a good smell. Vanilla. Vanilla is always working as something that everyone likes. Vanilla, really? Yes. Oh, that's good. It seems that there is a study that shows also the maternal milk is also containing this molecule. So maybe this is even something we learned to like very early on. It's linked to like a nutritive food. So, yeah. Wait, so breast milk has molecules that are the same as vanilla? There is some studies that shows that, yeah. Oh, wow. That's interesting. Okay. So it's deep in us that we like vanilla from way back. Exactly. Well, Claire, thank you so much.

9:55Yes, of course.

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11:40Send it to us as a question at howto at npr.org. It's the reason why our promos, our calls for questions need to be hurtful. but whatever gets you sending those emails so that we can help you as soon as possible. I'm sorry I did that. That's not fair. Your nose is terrific, and I'm sure it smells good. I'm sure your nose smells good.

12:07I will also say howto at npr.org. Our email has been flooded with many, many of you trying to help out Kevin and Rebecca, the people we helped out last week who had a mysterious blanket and sheet mystery. Most of you, or a lot of you, are suggesting they get two separate sheets, separate comforters, or separate blankets. This is a good solution. I just want to say some names. I'm just going to go through the email box of people that wrote in, either with kind words for Kevin and Rebecca or Solution. We heard from Mara. We heard from Nina, Christina, Katie, Kitsy. Kitsy, got it. I was about to say Chris, but that's another email.

12:50Chris offered no help. Monica, did you say Monica yet? So many people, the list is endless. Jody, Andrea, there's someone saying, what's wrong with you guys? Anyway, I will say it truly warms the heart to see everyone chipping in to help Kevin and Rebecca. Kevin and Rebecca, I hope you hear from all these people who almost unanimously have decided you need to get separate blankets. Get separate blankets. Of course, if you don't want to send an email, you can also comment on our episodes on Spotify. Okay, this hasn't really happened to us before on the show, but Liesl and Darcy, who we spoke to at the beginning of the show about Darcy and Aiden, They have reached back out to us, and they say they need to give us an update before we go any further solving their problem.

13:42Hello, Liesl, Darcy? Hi. Hi. What's happening? How's it going? Stuff's happening. Okay, wait. So, stuff's happening. What's going on? Aiden told me he liked me. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Can you take us through it? What happened? We both needed to use the bathroom, and he waited for me, and then we walked up from band, and he said, you know when Connor told me that you liked me, and I said no, I was lying.

14:24And what did you say? Yay. Yay? You said yay? Tell us how you really feel. I can't explain how I feel in words. Oh, yes. Yes. That's beautiful. Yep. So what happens now?

14:50Um, I don't know. Yeah. Um, let me ask you this question, because I know, what are you, you're in fourth grade, right? Yeah. So do you guys go out and do stuff? Do you go to the movies? Do you go out to dinner? What happens? We don't do that stuff. Yeah. We pass notes to each other in class. Really? Do you get in trouble for that? Because you should. No. We don't get in trouble for that. Okay. We sit right next to each other, so it's easy. So would you say, are you boyfriend and girlfriend now? Is that how it works? No, not really. I don't really know. Okay. Okay. Don't have to put a label on it.

15:38His mom said that they were special friends. Great. That's, wow. If only it were always that simple, huh? So, oh, sorry, go ahead. I said I wish it was. Yeah, you wouldn't be wasting your time with these two jokers, that's for sure. Okay, so when we talked to you before, you wanted some advice on how to tell him. It sounds like he has now been told. Everybody got the kind of answer they wanted. Is there anything we can do for you now, moving forward? I think Darcy will have some advice for other girls who want to know how to tell a boy they like him. Yeah? Just let the other person do the work.

16:24Yes. Yes.

16:38Well, that does it for this week's show. What'd you learn, Ian? Well, I learned that the certified best smell in the world is vanilla. Yeah. What do you think of that? I personally love, I prefer vanilla ice cream to chocolate ice cream. Is that right? I'm often the only one. And I do think that what Claire said about how maybe the reason we love vanilla is because the compounds in vanilla also exist in breast milk. I feel like that makes me feel a little weird about my preference for vanilla over chocolate ice cream. There's certain bags you don't want unpacked. Yeah, I think that's right. That's one of them.

17:21That's the kind of information now that I have it and I know what you're going to order the next time we go to the ice cream store. I'll just make sure when we're done eating, done drinking, I'll just bring you over close to just gently burp you. I also found interesting what Claire told us that when you smell a smell, when you inhale a smell, your body destroys that smell. Yeah. It tears it apart so it cannot be smelled again. Wait, okay, so if that's what's happening, and you're in a place where there is a terrible smell, is that the right approach then to just go after it, like use your nose like a vacuum cleaner?

18:03And just like, this smells terrible. The only way out is through. I got to suck it all in and destroy those bad odors. I like the idea of just taking one for the team. Just I will inhale all of these molecules. I will destroy them. Yeah. Do you have a match? I just need to get rid of the smell. Don't worry, I got it. Give me a few minutes. Yeah, I am the match. How to Do Everything is produced by Skylar Swenson with technical direction from Lorna White. We also want to tell you to check out the NPR app. That's an application for your telephone. The NPR app brings you the best of public radio personalized for you.

18:47The best of public radio and us. The NPR app has your favorite podcasts, even your local public radio station, and the world's biggest stories. Size-wise, these are the biggest stories. It's going to be hard to get from one side of the story to the other in a single day. So you're going to want to pack snacks and something to sleep in. A change of clothes. Bring a charger. As your attempt to traverse these almost insurmountably large stories. Yep, this is going to be huge. You're going to love it. Download the NPR app in your app store today. Exhaustingly large stories from NPR. I'm Ian. And I'm Mike.

19:28Thanks.

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