John Cusack rides his Vespa straight into our hearts

6:51Joyelle Nicole Johnson:My feet are better that way.

6:54Rachel Coster:Jen, for your last quote, it's an actor who seemed like he was cruising to an Oscar this weekend.

7:01Adam Felber:No one cares about opera and ballet anymore. All respect to the ballet and opera people out there.

7:08Rachel Coster:So the backlash to that diss of opera and ballet all of a sudden seems to have put this actor's Oscar in doubt. Who is it?

7:16John Cusack:I might need a hint.

7:18Rachel Coster:Well, let's see. I mean, he doesn't think that opera and ballet are as important and culturally significant as, say, movies about ping pong players.

7:28John Cusack:Oh, I'm afraid I have no idea. Or chocolatiers. You really live out there.

7:36Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Yeah, Jen, I am jealous, girl.

7:37John Cusack:You're protecting your peace, girl.

7:39Joyelle Nicole Johnson:I spend my time listening to NPR. Well, that's good for you. That's right.

7:43Rachel Coster:No, I'll give it to you. It's Timothee Chalamet. The star of Marty Supreme seemed pretty much on track to win a Best Actor Oscar, but then he really pissed off the opera and ballet people with that comment. Weird move from a guy whose own name sounds like a ballet move. Yeah. Plie, releve, Chalamet. Yeah. I tore a hamstring doing a Chalamet once. Yeah. You gotta be young, you gotta be young and flexible to Chalamet. He said this, he was talking to Matthew McConaughey of all people about how he did not want movies to become irrelevant like ballet and opera. This brought an enormous clap back from people like Isabelle Leonard and Sean Tester and many others that, let us be honest, you have never heard of it.

8:36John Cusack:it's my personal opinion yes that timothy is beefing with his sister and mother right now

8:42Rachel Coster:turns out yeah they both have this strong background in dance yes because so that's why

8:46John Cusack:he threw that shot like that because he said it after he's like i'm throwing shots and i was like oh he must be beefing with his sister right now to say something that crazy because i i don't want to do brain surgery either like what are you talking about oh you don't want to do ballet in opera, you can't.

9:00Rachel Coster:You can't, yeah. Yeah, I mean, opera fans especially are making a huge ruckus, and by that I mean their medic alert bracelets just beat because of an elevated heart rate. Help is on the way. Alzo, how did Jen do in our quiz?

9:16Adam Felber:Jen respectfully got two out of three.

9:19Rachel Coster:She won. You won? Congratulations, Jen. Thank you. Thank you.

9:33Rachel Coster:Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyelle, this week we heard about something every Whole Foods secretly has somewhere inside. What is it? Mold. No.

9:47John Cusack:Is this a food item?

9:49Rachel Coster:It is not a food item. It's a place. It's kind of a facility in every Whole Foods. Oh, so it's not a stuffed octopus.

9:55Joyelle Nicole Johnson:A morgue.

9:59Joyelle Nicole Johnson:That would be so awesome.

10:01Rachel Coster:That's not right. But why would you think every Whole Foods would need a morgue?

10:05John Cusack:Because I do cruise ships against my will. And every cruise ship has a morgue. I found this out. Right. Did y 'all know that?

10:13Rachel Coster:But that's because cruise ships are often at sea for a week or two or even more. Yeah. And Whole Foods, people are not in a Whole Foods for an entire week. So they wouldn't need a morgue. But they do need another kind of sort of a storage facility for people. It's what they do with you if, for example, you dare to get an organic banana but only key in the code for the conventional banana at the self-scanner. Oh. They take you and they put you. A little jail? A little jail. Every Whole Foods has a jail. Oh, my God. There's a secret windowless room in every Whole Foods that they call the Whole Foods jail.

10:45Rachel Coster:According to a new investigation by Curb, every store has one. No one can talk about it. So think about this, people, before you commit any jackfruit-related crime.

10:55Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Before you jack a jackfruit.

10:57Rachel Coster:Right. This is true. After stealing a brownie from the bakery aisle on a Whole Foods, one person found herself in a room wallpapered with, quote, layers and layers of grainy faces of all the thieves that had come before me. Unquote. Her photo was added to a binder. She was fined$300 and told never to return. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. $300 wasn't the fine. It was the price of the brownie.

11:22Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Right. interestingly cruise ships don't have jails it's just easier to kill you yeah i know

11:40Rachel Coster:coming up it's a bluff the listener game three decades in the making really call 1-888-wait-wait-to-play we'll be back in a minute with more of wait wait don't tell me from NPR.

12:18Rachel Coster:You never will. Download Grammarly for free at Grammarly.com.

12:26Adam Felber:From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Rachel Koster, and Adam Felber. And here again is your host at the Student Breaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

12:42Rachel Coster:Thank you, Alzo. Thank you so much, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-Wait, Wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Tara calling from Boise, Idaho. Boise, Idaho, a place I've never been. What do you do there?

13:02Joyelle Nicole Johnson:I am a registered dietitian. I work at a small hospital, and I do telehealth from home when I'm not managing kids and family.

13:09Rachel Coster:Well, that's important. I'm a father of two young children, and as a dietitian and a parent, I have a question. were you actually able to get your kids to eat healthy food? Actually, yes. How did you do it? Threats? So Peter, it takes at least 12 exposures to a new food for children to often even try them. So if I do this and we get to the 13th try, I can be like, no, Tara said you have to eat it now.

13:41Joyelle Nicole Johnson:yes yes you've done your duty your you forget it okay great from then on out i'll try it as soon

13:48Rachel Coster:as i get home thank you so much tara for that advice now it's great to have you with us you're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction also what is tara's topic 30 years in the making so this week we read about someone meeting a rather extraordinary goal that they spent 30 years working on. And I'm not talking about me keeping this job despite being completely unqualified. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one telling the truth and you'll win the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yeah. Okay, first let's hear from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

14:21John Cusack:Joyce and David Sinclair of Stone Mountain, Georgia were married in the olden days, 1996. Most couples freeze their wedding cake and eat it on their one year anniversary. However, Joyce and David had to move overseas before their celebration. So, for safekeeping, they put their cake in a cold storage facility in Georgia, aptly named Frosty the Storage Man. Years later, when they returned to the States, they found Frosty had gone bankrupt. And everything in his freezers had vanished. When their daughter, Nikki, came of age, she found herself obsessed with the cake mystery. And in a years-long search, she finally solved it.

14:57John Cusack:The cake had been moved to a bunker in Alaska after being mistaken for nuclear waste. She flew to Alaska, and after proving to the soldier manning the bunker that the cake wasn't dangerous to mankind, she was able to bring it home. Surprisingly, the cake tasted the exact same way it did 30 years prior. Turns out, vanilla really does just mean tasteless.

15:18Rachel Coster:A wedding cake lost for 30 years, finally enjoyed by the happy couple. Your next story of a 30-year plan comes from Adam Felber.

15:29Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Ever since he was a young man in the 70s, Jimmy Rush loved going to Wenzel's Oyster House in Mobile, Alabama with his family. But sometime in the 90s, that love became an obsession of sorts, and that obsession's name was Free Oysters. See, there was a sign on the wall, Free Oysters to any man 80 years old accompanied by his father. The rushes took note. The years passed and the family moved away, but always visited on their way to Mardi Gras. And still that sign haunted him. Until this week, when on his 80th birthday, Jimmy walked in with his dad and a large group to claim their prize. Was it worth it?

16:07Joyelle Nicole Johnson:You bet your ass it was. Again, free oysters. The bartender and the staff were stunned. Never thought about any birthday except my 80th, Jimmy says. But the story's not over. His brother Carl added, quote, we will be back to do this all over again in 2028 when I turn 80. My dad says he's going to make it, and that's good enough for me.

16:28Rachel Coster:A man waits 30 years to get his free oysters by bringing his dad to celebrate his 80th birthday. Your last story of three decades of determination comes from Rachel Koster.

16:43Joyelle Nicole Johnson:In a feat of athletic prowess that his wife is calling annoying and dumb, local man Neil Schaefer, 51, of Mass Buzz New York, successfully completed a five-second unassisted keg stand in his garage last Saturday. Schaefer's obsession started during his junior year of college when his frat brother, Mikey Lambrusco, challenged the then-out-of-shape boy to an unassisted handstand on a keg of Bud Light. He struggled for a few attempts before giving up. It was humiliating to watch, said Lambrusco. Since then, Schaefer had been determined to achieve his dream, putting more effort into this than pretty much anything else in his life On Saturday, he gathered his family next to his Honda Civic in the garage and accomplished the impossible I was worried he was going to pass out or puke in front of the kids, so I'm kind of glad he just didn't do that Said his wife, Shannon.

17:30Joyelle Nicole Johnson:I've accomplished my biggest dream, said Schaefer, drinking bad beer upside down

17:36Rachel Coster:All right, here are your choices Somebody waited 30 years to do something. What was it? Was it from Joelle Nicole Johnson, a couple that waited 30 years before they could celebrate an anniversary by eating some of their wedding cake? From Adam Felber, a guy who waited 30 years to get free oysters by going into an oyster bar at the age of 80 with his dad with him? Or from Rachel Koster, a guy who spent 30 years practicing but finally did that keg stand he couldn't do in college? Which of these is the real story we found in the news?

18:11Joyelle Nicole Johnson:I'm going to have to go with Adam's story about the oysters.

18:15Rachel Coster:You're going to go with Adam's story about the man who got free oysters by showing up at the age of 80 with his 99-year-old dad. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter who covered this real story.

18:26Joyelle Nicole Johnson:They went to cash in the sign that says free oysters to any man 80 years old accompanied by his father.

18:35Rachel Coster:that was Joseph Lemoore a food reporter at the Today Show talking about the oyster special that was finally claimed congratulations Tara you got it right you earned a point for Adam just for telling a story in a convincing way and you've won our prize the voice of your choice in your voicemail well done congratulations Tara

18:52John Cusack:thank you so much for having me

18:55Rachel Coster:thanks so much take care

18:56John Cusack:thank you bye bye

19:04Rachel Coster:And now the game where we ask famous people about obscure things. We call it Not My Job. John Cusack made his first movie, a short about managing life in high school when he was still a student at Evanston Township High School, north of Chicago. Wow. From that amazing start, he went on to star in some of the iconic movies of the last 40 years. High Fidelity, The Grifters, Being John Malkovich, Hot Tub, Time Machine, and of course, Say Anything. He still lives here in Chicago, and now he's written his first graphic novel, John Cusack, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. We're pretty excited to see you.

19:41Rachel Coster:Thanks for having me. I have a habit when I'm talking to actors with astonishingly long and varied careers like yours of asking what role they're most recognized for. But since I started this show with a say anything joke, do people ask you to either pretend to hold the boombox up like Lloyd did in the movie, or do they ever do that to you?

20:02Joyelle Nicole Johnson:No, I haven't had them do it to me, but they have asked me to hold it up, but I tell them I only do that at parties But yeah, but there's been a strong reaction to that character Yeah

20:13Adam Felber:At times and there but there are no boom boxes anymore. So they just ask you to hold their iPhone up. Yeah

20:18Rachel Coster:So I I told my wife that you were gonna be in the show and I saw a look in her face I've never seen before and she's like John Cusack really and she told me that your character Lloyd holding that boom box just absolutely blew her away. It was the most romantic thing she had ever seen. And I polled all the women I know and they all agreed.

20:37Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Well, as I said, people like that character in that film a lot, which is pretty cool. Live Nation still does some screenings of the movie and we do a Q &A afterwards and people get pretty rowdy, which is fun. And a guy came up to the mic right over there and he said, my wife left me because she said I wasn't you.

21:00Rachel Coster:Now I sort of had the look that your face has. I know. Well, you're thinking about my look and your look. I'm thinking about that look my wife gave me I mentioned earlier.

21:10Joyelle Nicole Johnson:You've got to go home. Got to go, guys. But the gentleman stopped and then he said, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my head.

21:24Joyelle Nicole Johnson:And he literally dropped the mic and I thought that kind of covers the whole gamut.

21:28Rachel Coster:Right. I know this is a very tough question. I was thinking about your movie career. I know I have a favorite movie of yours, which in my case would be Being John Malkovich. Do you have a favorite of all the ones you've done? And I know there are a lot and a lot of great ones.

21:43Joyelle Nicole Johnson:You know, I sort of think back on them and they're sort of like a little bit of a fever dream. And some of the ones that I wrote and produced... Cross Point Blank? Yeah, that's a great one. That's a fun one. I think just because that kind of black comedy doesn't get done that much.

21:58Rachel Coster:That's the movie in which you play a hitman who goes back to his, if I'm not mistaken, 10th high school reunion? I think it was his...

22:04Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Yeah, it was 10th. No, no, it was 10th.

22:05Rachel Coster:And I'm told that that was inspired by you actually attending your own high school reunion in Evanston? Yes. And you were like... So there you're back, and you're, by that time, a very accomplished and well-known actor. And did you really say to yourself and discuss with your collaborators in the film, you know what would be really cool if I was a hitman?

22:23Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Well, I thought to myself, I wrote the script, and I said, well, if we get funding for this, That's the only way I'll go to my 10-year high school reunion. Really? As research? Yes. Oh, wow. I didn't think we'd get the funding, but then we did, so I had to go.

22:34Adam Felber:I thought you were going to say you were inspired after going to your high school reunion, because when you went there, you were like, I can't stand any of these fools. What this place needs is a hitman.

22:47Rachel Coster:You still live here in Chicago where you grew up, which I think is great. I do, sir. And that is not a choice that a lot of people who get very successful in the entertainment business make. why did you stay here or come back perhaps?

22:58Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Have you been to LA? I have.

23:01Rachel Coster:Yeah.

23:07Rachel Coster:Yeah, I guess we don't really need to talk about that anymore. And I love this. You get around Chicago by scooter. It's true. When you're riding up and down in your scooter, do people ever pull up to you in division and look at you and go, hey, it's John Cusack. Yeah, every once in a while. Yeah. In a car. Yeah. Yeah. And this is Chicago. They're going to be cool about it, right? Everyone's so cool about it. Yeah. Yeah.

23:33Joyelle Nicole Johnson:They're basically, they just go like, oh, hey.

23:37Rachel Coster:That's the Chicago one. Which I love about Chicago. I heard this. I might get your assistant in trouble because we were talking about, well, when's John getting here? He's coming in his Vespa. And she told me that your Vespa, which is a beautiful old Italian scooter, runs on gasoline, but not very much at a time, right? It's got a small gas tank. and so she told me you have like a bottle filled with gasoline.

23:59Joyelle Nicole Johnson:That might be true, although that might be too much information for Malika. Really? To be given out.

24:04Rachel Coster:Really? So I'm like, okay, so you're riding around your Vespa and you're like, oh, I'm running out of gas. Reach into the pocket, pull out the bottle. I don't even know if what I'm doing is legal, but yeah. Doesn't sound it. Peter, you're a snake. I know. You are. I feel terrible. You've written a graphic novel. That's true. I grew up reading this kind of graphic novel, very big in Europe. In your case, this graphic novel is about 300 pages long, and it features sex, violence, drugs, aliens, Jackie Gleason, and a plot centered around the very real French avant-garde artist and philosopher Antonin Artaud.

24:38Rachel Coster:So you've sold out and gone mainstream. Yeah.

24:43Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Well, just think of a metaphysical crime movie mixed with kind of a drug mule movie mixed with E.T. So I think French Connection meets E.T. meets My Dinner with Andre meets Smokey and the Bandit meets The Mike Douglas Show. Another of those? Yes.

25:01Rachel Coster:All right. Not again. It's a shame to see an actor become so derivative in his career.

25:09Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Well, the origin of it was I loved this artist, Arteau. And then I thought, well, no one's going to give me money to make that movie yet. But if I write a graphic novel, I always believe in the possibility of possible.

25:24Rachel Coster:Sure. It's pretty funny and very bizarre, and I recommend it to everybody. Oh, thank you. It's really something. Thank you for reading it. Oh, my pleasure.

25:34Rachel Coster:I know, speaking for myself, I could talk to you all day, but we have business to do. John Cusack, we are thrilled to have you here, and we have invited you here to play a game we're calling Say Nothing. As we discussed, we started the iconic movie Say Anything, so we thought we'd ask you about people who should have kept their mouths shut. Answer two or three questions about some unwise statements. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is the legendary John Cusack playing for?

26:00Adam Felber:Jill Farrell of Beaverton, Oregon. All right.

26:03Rachel Coster:I'm going to do my best for you, Jill. Beaverton. Here you go. Here's your first question. Gerald Ratner was the head of Ratner's Great Britain's largest jewelry store chain when he unfortunately called his own company's products, quote, crap. How did he try to undo the damage? Was it A, by trying to convince people that crap was a slang word he learned from his kids that meant really great? B, by having all his company's stores put up a sign in the window saying, what we mean by crap, cheap, reliable, and affordable prices. Or C, by saying, quote, producing crap is a universal part of the human experience.

26:44Joyelle Nicole Johnson:I'm going to follow the wisdom of the good and great Jason Benetti.

26:50Rachel Coster:Always pick B. You and Jason are right. It is in fact B. His plan was to put up a sign saying crap means cheap, reliable, and affordable prices. It did not work. He had to step down from the company. To this day, according to these, one source we found in the United Kingdom saying something really stupid and self-destructive for no reason is still called pulling a ratner. Wow. That was really good. Here's your next question. In 2005, former French President Jacques Chirac caused a diplomatic incident with the UK when he made a comment to Vladimir Putin that was caught on a hot mic. What did he say about the British?

27:32Rachel Coster:A, you can't trust people who cook as badly as that. B, look, they were once conquered by us. How tough can they be? Or C, they think they're all Winston Churchill, but they're really just Benny Hill.

27:53Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Now, here's a problem. Yeah. Can I say what I want to pick? You may. Yeah, this is your game. I want it to be C, but I think it's A.

28:01Rachel Coster:And you're right. It was A. Yeah. Nice. Of course, he's French. Of course he's going to win salt their cooking. And of course he's French, and he's not going to know who Benny Hill is. Exactly, also true. He also said on the same Hut Mike incident that the only thing the British had contributed to agriculture was mad cow disease. So you're doing really well. Here's your last question. A lot of sports broadcasts, as I know you know, make the crowd as well as the announcers, and sometimes it can backfire, as at a lacrosse game between Sacred Heart University and Siena College last year when the mic picked up one Siena fan yelling what that made the ESPN broadcast.

28:41Rachel Coster:Was it A, we wish we were watching football, B, stab them in the Sacred Heart, or C, Sacred Heart has diarrhea? Wow. Wow.

28:59Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Wow. I mean, I want all of them.

29:03Rachel Coster:Different sections doing different chants, you know.

29:06Joyelle Nicole Johnson:I think based on the state of America, it must be C. It is C, yeah. That's what he said.

29:17Adam Felber:That's smart.

29:19Rachel Coster:The chant from a Sienna fan who found the mic and ran up to it and yelled into it was hard to make out, but helpfully, one of the ESPN announcers said, they're chanting, Sacred Heart has diarrhea. I'm sure he got a bonus that week. He did. Alzo, how did John Cusack do in our quiz?

29:35Adam Felber:He said something. He got three out of three. He's a winner. Yeah.

29:44Rachel Coster:John Cusack is an actor, writer, and producer. His new graphic novel, Momo, is available now. He's also a proud Chicago guy. John Cusack, thank you so much for joining us here. Thank you so much. John Cusack, everybody.

30:04Rachel Coster:In just a minute, we'll feel the churn in our listener Limer challenge game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join you in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

30:20Joyelle Nicole Johnson:This message comes from MidiHealth. Co-founders Joanna Strober and Dr. Kathleen Jordan discuss why they started a virtual care platform to empower and educate women in perimenopause and menopause. Historically, perimenopause and menopause have been very stigmatizing. So people haven't wanted to admit that they're in perimenopause and menopause as though it was like embarrassing, which is insane. It's just something happening to your body. So one of the things that we're trying to do is de-stigmatize these topics. Perimenopause and menopause are just women's health. So we try to educate women all the time.

30:55Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Maybe it's your hormones and we would like to help you.

30:59Adam Felber:Yeah, and I find women actually want to talk about it. It's one of the things they always comment at MIDI is that they finally feel heard. One of the ways that women find MIDI is actually from other women. And I think it's meaningful.

31:13Joyelle Nicole Johnson:MIDI Health. Committed to helping women in midlife with paramenopause and menopause care. Accessible via telehealth visits. at joinmidi.com.

31:28Adam Felber:From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Rachel Koster. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

31:44Rachel Coster:Thanks, Alzo. St. Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's Day, big deal here in Chicago is coming up in a few days so remember, if you get the limericks wrong this week, you go to hell If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT that's 1-888-924-8924 Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news Rachel, this week, the New York Times reported on a growing epidemic of extremely unflattering photos of women taken by whom?

32:16Joyelle Nicole Johnson:The men in their lives

32:18Rachel Coster:The men in their lives, yes, their boyfriends and husbands, yes. You've all seen one of these boyfriend photos. They're the ones that make the woman say, Finally, I know what my face would look like without bones. So the latest thing is women on TikTok and Instagram are sharing horrific photos that their husbands or boyfriends took of them. The actor Kerry Washington, for example, posted a bunch of them and said, I thought I looked pretty, then I opened my husband's camera roll.

32:46John Cusack:I don't trust straight men to take pictures They ain't got the eye for it Y 'all don't never know The camera ain't gonna be all the way down here It's blurry, I'm backlit I don't trust it You gotta get you a good gay man to take a picture, girl You'd be nice and glossy

33:01Rachel Coster:So when you and your boyfriend, who I know and like When you're out on the town, do you always bring a gay friend To do the photography?

33:06John Cusack:Oh no, he's queer, he takes beautiful pictures You know, I find that so offensive

33:12Joyelle Nicole Johnson:And accurate

33:15John Cusack:And tip straight men high angles high angles all right yeah looking down looking down yeah up get up in the balcony and shoot

33:23Adam Felber:But why do you all keep asking us to take the phone? I don't There's no one else there.

33:28Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Thank you Elsa.

33:29Adam Felber:I do not testify

33:30Joyelle Nicole Johnson:There's no one else there. We're not allowed to invite our friends over anymore because they're annoying. Yeah Wow, that felt personal. I'm sorry. I'm sorry My friends are annoying

33:41Rachel Coster:Adam, this week we learned about a new problem threatening many marriages. People are starting to speak out about the struggle of being married to a what?

33:50Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Okay, so the struggle of being married to a... What?

33:54Rachel Coster:This is not a problem when both of you are like this. It's more of a problem when just one is. Somebody who works at home. No, I'll give you a hint. You should have known when they wanted to get married at Space Mountain.

34:05John Cusack:Oh.

34:06Rachel Coster:A Disney fan? A Disney adult. Yeah. Right? An adult Disney fan. In an article in New York Magazine this week, exasperated spouses shared the struggles of being married to a Disney adult when they are not one. If you haven't heard of a Disney adult before...

34:20Joyelle Nicole Johnson:I was about to press you for this one.

34:22Rachel Coster:A Disney adult. It's basically an adult who was bullied either too much or not enough as a child. And I've known some. These are adults who are really, really into Disney. Oh, I know some. You know some, too. And like I said, two Disney adults, marry each other, find each other. That's great. Great, Geigazint, enjoy your life. The problem is when one of them keeps it a secret to after they're married, right? You marry somebody, you think they're normal. Then one night they say, one night they say, oh, come in, I have a surprise for you. And you go in and they're lying on the bed, wearing the ears.

34:58Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Oh, yeah. And not on their head.

35:07Joyelle Nicole Johnson:worst moment of my first marriage

35:10John Cusack:the first can you keep that a secret though? that's crazy

35:16Rachel Coster:from courtship through marriage that's tricky, how do you keep that a secret?

35:20John Cusack:yeah, because that builds on your credit card every year

35:23Rachel Coster:that's a big bill it's weird, you know they disappear for long weekends you're like

35:30John Cusack:I wish you were cheating on me.

35:31Rachel Coster:Yeah, no, no. They were just...

35:33Joyelle Nicole Johnson:You know, you can screen your dates before you make the mistake of marrying a Disney person. You know, you could just be like, you know, just throw out in conversation. Hi-ho. See what happens.

35:43John Cusack:See what happens.

35:44Joyelle Nicole Johnson:You can't say that to a woman.

35:46John Cusack:You can't say that to a black woman.

35:50Adam Felber:Fair.

36:06Rachel Coster:Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can come see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago. And catch us on the road. We will be in beautiful Savannah, Georgia on March 26th. And in San Diego on April 30th, for tickets and information to all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, my name is Katie York. I live in Edgewood, Maryland. Edgewood, Maryland. Where is that exactly?

36:40Rachel Coster:It's about a half hour outside of Baltimore. Oh, Baltimore. Baltimore is a fun city. Do you enjoy it there? I do. Yeah. What is your favorite thing about Baltimore?

36:48Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Ooh, there's lots to choose from. Probably some of the sweets like egg custard snow cones and burgers, chocolate cookies. Oh yeah, those are great things.

36:57Rachel Coster:Well, welcome to our show, Katie. Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis this week, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to apply? Yep, ready. Here is your first limerick.

37:14Adam Felber:I run till I wheeze and I sputter. Heavy cream in this bag goes aflutter. My legs and arms turn and I act like a churn. As I run, I am making some...

37:27Rachel Coster:Butter?

37:28Adam Felber:Yes, butter.

37:28Rachel Coster:If you are tired of your exercise routine failing to create any butter, we have good news. Oh, good, finally. A runner went viral this week when she shared how you, yes, you can churn butter while running. You just pour heavy cream into a Ziploc bag and then, quote, secure the bag inside your running vest. It's pretty simple, although not as simple as running to the store. Peter, you're a runner. Are you going to try this? Oh, I'm never in my life. But I'm thinking about it because how great would it be to finish a grueling 15-mile training run and right then I could refresh myself with some nice thick butter.

38:11Joyelle Nicole Johnson:If you're just jogging, does it only turn into whipped cream?

38:14Rachel Coster:Yeah, I think so. Here is your next limerick.

38:20Adam Felber:Watching videos loudly will spread groans. It makes passenger anger hit red zones. Now, United's new rules will not suffer those fools. They can't fly if they're not using...

38:33Rachel Coster:Headphones? Headphones, yes. United Airlines announced that they will now kick you off your flight or even ban you from the airline forever if you listen to music or watch TV in the flight without headphones.

38:47Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Yeah.

38:48Rachel Coster:Yes.

38:53Joyelle Nicole Johnson:I feel like one of the best parts of flying Is like watching your neighbor's TV Or listening to whatever they're listening to On audiobook Really? Yeah, sometimes I forget to bring stuff Or I run out of charger halfway through And it's nice to just let someone else provide

39:06Rachel Coster:It is a rule of human behavior That what somebody else is watching On the airplane Is far more interesting Than what you're watching

39:16Adam Felber:Yeah Rachel's on the plane snatching people's headphones off saying you're being selfish right now.

39:26John Cusack:This sounds, it doesn't sound like united behavior. This sounds like spirit behavior. I can't believe it. See, I'm the type of person, I'll say something to you. This is why I can't ride the subway in New York because I will get into a fight. It's my biggest pet peeve if somebody is listening to something without their headphones.

39:41Adam Felber:What do you say?

39:42John Cusack:Stop.

39:43Adam Felber:Okay.

39:44John Cusack:What's wrong with you?

39:45Adam Felber:All right, here is your last limerick. After matchas and chais that it bought her, here's a new trend the internet taught her. It helps her digest, and there's less to invest. She just boils and drinks some hot... Water?

40:01Rachel Coster:Yes, water. Drinking hot water in the morning is the new internet hack for gut health. People say hot water in the morning can help speed your digestion. That's particularly true if the hot water has coffee in it

40:21Joyelle Nicole Johnson:We really are in a recession

40:25Rachel Coster:Influencers say hot water is the perfect drink if you want to rid yourself of toxins and quote D bloat I started doing this you started drinking hot water in the morning. Yeah, because what's it doing for you? I

40:39John Cusack:Don't want to tell everybody okay Yeah, really? It's a difference, something about it, but the Asian girlies told me to do it, and they look amazing. They really do. So I'll listen to anything they say.

40:51Rachel Coster:Right.

40:51John Cusack:Yeah.

40:52Rachel Coster:If they told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?

40:55John Cusack:Let's end this.

40:56Rachel Coster:Okay.

40:59Adam Felber:Alzo, how did Katie do in our quiz? They got three out of three, a winner.

41:07Rachel Coster:Well done, Katie. Congratulations. Thank you.

41:26Joyelle Nicole Johnson:This message comes from BetterHelp. International Women's Day is this March. Time to celebrate all women. The leaders, the caregivers, the hype friends, the how-do-you-do-it-all types. Women deserve to be reminded how much they matter and that therapy offers a space to care for themselves. BetterHelp makes it simple by matching you with a qualified therapist based on your needs and preferences. Visit betterhelp.com slash NPR for 10 % off.

41:56Rachel Coster:Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores?

42:07Adam Felber:Absolutely. Rachel has one.

42:11John Cusack:Yes. Knew it.

42:13Adam Felber:Joyelle, don't laugh too much because you have two.

42:17John Cusack:Damn.

42:18Adam Felber:And Adam has a whopping five points. Whoa.

42:23Joyelle Nicole Johnson:That ain't right. Can you share?

42:25Rachel Coster:All right. That means Rachel.

42:28Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Yes.

42:29Rachel Coster:You're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Pentagon reported that the war with blank had already cost$11 billion.

42:40Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Iran.

42:40Rachel Coster:Right. On Sunday, police confirmed that an explosive device was thrown outside the home of New York Mayor blank.

42:45Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Momdani.

42:46Rachel Coster:Right. Thanks to a rise in colon cancer for people under 50, more experts say the recommended age to start getting blanks should be lowered. Yes. During severe storms on Tuesday, several states reported softball-sized blank.

42:57Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Hail.

42:58Rachel Coster:Yes, hail. Softball-sized tornadoes. They're so cute.

43:02Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Oh, that's horrible.

43:03Rachel Coster:This week, a man was arrested at an airport in Kenya after he was caught smuggling blank.

43:07Joyelle Nicole Johnson:A dead monkey.

43:10Rachel Coster:No, 2 ,000 live ants. Oh. On Wednesday, astronomers reported that they may have witnessed two blanks colliding.

43:17Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Asteroids.

43:18Rachel Coster:No, planets. On Tuesday, officials said NASA's mission to the blank would likely face more delays.

43:23Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Moon.

43:23Rachel Coster:Right. This week, a Russian man who'd been away from his apartment for three years returned to find blank living there.

43:29Joyelle Nicole Johnson:An old friend.

43:30Rachel Coster:No, hundreds and hundreds of pigeons.

43:33Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Not as good.

43:34Rachel Coster:They came in through a window he had left open before he left, and if you've ever seen the sidewalk beneath a highway overpass, picture that, but everything you own. Sometimes all you can do is back slowly out of the front door and say it was a good home, but it belongs to the pigeons now.

43:53Adam Felber:Alzo, how did Rachel do in our quiz? She did pretty good. She got five right for ten more points, Which gives her a total of 11. Thank you. Right, all right. That was very good.

44:04Rachel Coster:Joyelle. Yeah, buddy. Joyelle, you're up next. Let's go. Fill in the blank. Here we go. This week, industry analysts said the average blank prices could soon rise above$4 a gallon.

44:13John Cusack:Milk.

44:17Rachel Coster:Gas prices. This week, a medical trial found a pill that can improve blank by 50 % without a CPAP machine. Sleep. Sleep. Snoring. I'll give it to you. sleep apnea. Sleep apnea, yeah. According to new research, taking a daily blank may slow the aging process. Pill.

44:39Rachel Coster:Sure, what the hell? Multivitamin. On Wednesday, the lineup for the MMA fight at the blank was revealed.

44:49John Cusack:That's the square God.

44:50Rachel Coster:No, the White House. Officials in Georgia are asking parents to double check when they're packing their kids' lunches since one elementary school student accidentally brought blank as a drink for lunch?

45:04John Cusack:Ooh, it was like an alcohol cooler or something like that.

45:09Rachel Coster:It was a martini. Yeah. The canned lemon drop martini looked exactly like a soda, so the mistake was understandable. The martini was taken from the student before he could become the coolest kid in the third grade, but he was able to give his jar of blue cheese olives and his pack of smokes. Alzo, how did Joyelle do in our quiz? She did all right

45:29Joyelle Nicole Johnson:She got three right for six more points

45:36Adam Felber:A total of eight Which means Rachel is still in the lead All right

45:43Rachel Coster:How many then does Adam need to slip up and take it from her? Three to tie, four to win All right Adam, this is for the game Fill in the blank On Sunday, Moshtaba Khemeni was named the new supreme leader Iran. Right. According to new data, the U.S. economy lost 92 ,000 blanks in February. Right. With Michigan confirming their first case of 2026 on Monday, the spread of blank continued. Measles. Right. According to new data, adult blank use reached a record low in 2024. Phone? No, cigarette use. This week, a man at a fishing tournament in Texas was arrested after he was caught blanking. Smuggling fish.

46:21Rachel Coster:No, after he was caught putting weights inside the fish he caught to cheat at a tournament. Oh, that's awesome. On Thursday, Netflix confirmed it had greenlit a sequel to the hit animated film Blank. Oh, the K-pop demon hunter. That's the one. On Thursday, Apple began selling their new$600 Blank. Shirt.

46:43Rachel Coster:I'd believe it if they were, but it's a laptop. This week, the mayor of a town in Texas who thought he was running for re-election unopposed was shocked when blank entered the race. His mom! No. A candidate named, quote, literally anybody else.

47:01Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Fair. Here you go.

47:06Rachel Coster:The new candidate, who had his name legally changed to literally anybody else in 2024, is shaking up the race for mayor in North Richland Hills, Texas. That said, he may also face an uphill battle as the race now is the third candidate, someone named that one guy from that commercial. You know, you love that guy. Alzo, did Adam do well enough to win?

47:27Adam Felber:Well, he got four right for eight more points, a total of 13, which gives him one more point than Rachel and the win. Wow. I would like to share this. I'm happy for you.

47:44Rachel Coster:In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict the big surprising moment at this weekend's Oscars. But first, let me tell you all. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions' Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeker writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theatre. B.J. Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Mahana del Shehi and Monica Hickey.

48:12Rachel Coster:Peter Gwynn is a man of much talents. Emma Choi is our vibe curator, technical directionist from Lorna White. Our special thanks this week to Travis Hagen. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Michael Danforth. Now panel, who is going to surprise us at the Oscars? Rachel Koster.

48:33Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Kylie Jenner is going to do the Carmina Barana on point. Adam Felby. A contritant Timothee Chalamet will walk the red carpet in a tutu and Viking helmet.

48:44Rachel Coster:and Joyelle Nicole Johnson

48:46John Cusack:after her performance celebrating sinners black ballerina Misty Copeland will slap Timothee Chalamet in the face

48:53Adam Felber:and if any of that happens we'll ask you about it on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me

48:58Rachel Coster:thank you Alzo Slade thanks also to Rachel Koster Adam Felber Joyelle Nicole Johnson thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago thank you all for listening wherever you might be

49:16Rachel Coster:I'm Peter Sagal and we'll be back with Bill Curtis next week.

49:46Rachel Coster:This is NPR.

50:11Adam Felber:who converses with guests to explore curiosity, humility, and creativity.

50:16Joyelle Nicole Johnson:Listen to Kelly Corrigan Wonders today. This message comes from Alexa Plus. Say hello to Alexa Plus and see how Alexa can do more for you. Craving your favorite restaurant? Alexa's on it. Free with Prime on your Amazon devices. Learn more at amazon.com slash alexa plus.