Reflecting Pools and Construction Zones

24:27Wear my T-shirt. Yeah, wear your T-shirt. Now, you know that also in the Chicago area, Billy Corgan lives in Smashing Pumpkins. And you famously, in one of your songs back in 94, you called them out. You called out the Smashing Pumpkins. In a way. In a way. I mentioned their name. In a not complimentary way. Not so bad, though. What'd you say? I mean, it's really a nice thing to do to even take the time to mention somebody. I see. So he should have been flattered by, oh, wow, you name-checked his band, rather than the subsequent mention of waste of time. I didn't say that. I thought maybe that was...

25:10They didn't have a pump-ins function, but they do truly have some good songs. I do Have you run into Billy Down at Pizzeria Udo for example He's like afraid of You Yeah probably He lives like in the Beyond Evanston From what I understand Way in the far north Might as well be Wisconsin I know you've dismissed this question before That your writer is your tour riders for rock stars, famously weird. Yours is very straightforward, right? I'm told, like, do you, in fact, as far as you go, it's only so far as to specify a brand of seltzer water? Well, maybe La Croix, as we say it in France. Yeah. Or Montreal or something.

26:03Yeah, we have a basic rider. I don't, I mean, the other guys want towels. I don't use towels. Ever? You just air dry? I don't sweat that much. Really? Not too much. I don't I wouldn't do that on stage So wait, so it's like just kidding so I didn't yeah, I don't need them But I and they're always black and kind of seem what's wrong with that?

26:35There's something about a rock and roll towel that it's black It's not just that black is rock and roll like heavy metal or something But also, you don't know what's on there, on the towel. Who knows when it's not clean, maybe. I'm not even a neat freak. I'd be more scared of a white towel. You know. I guess so. I love this. But they're dry when we get them. I don't know. I see dust in them or something. It's always dusty back there. Y 'all's is kind of dusty, too. Wait a minute. Not the adjective. Call me Billy Corgan. Well, we didn't get your rider, so we didn't prepare. I just love this. The father of indie rock is like, yeah, I don't know about those towels.

27:21They're on sanitary. That's not the lifestyle I imagine you living. I have to admit. That's true. Well, Stephen Malcolmus, it's a pleasure to talk to you and to welcome you to Chicago. We have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Pavement repairs are underweight. So there's another kind of pavement workers. Road construction crews, naturally we're going to ask you three questions about construction. Answer two out of three questions correctly. You'll win a prize for one of our listeners. Also, who's Stephen Malkmus playing for? Francis King of Missoula, Montana. All right. Ready to do this?

27:54Thanks. Yes. Recently, road crews in southern England had to dig up a 65-foot-long stretch of road and repair it, which was necessary. but neighbors were not happy with the detour they set up to get around the 65-foot-long stretch of road. Why were they unhappy? Was it A, the detour to repair that was 41 miles around? B, the detour was also under construction, meaning people just had to go home, or C, the detour across the river at a spot where there wasn't a bridge?

28:31Oh, man. I will say they say schmucks pick three so I'll do three you're going to do C the cross the river well I guess you're not a schmuck because it was actually A the 41 mile detour to avoid the 65 foot long construction site they estimated the detour the officials estimated the detour would take drivers about an hour to travel the distance that would normally take two seconds alright

29:03Here's your next question. When you're done with the construction in a neighborhood, the last step, of course, is to put up new street signs. But in Reno, Nevada, the new street signs they put up on Virginia Street, once they finished constructing it, had a problem. What? Was it A, they reflected headlights so well they were blinding drivers? B, they were missing the last I and said, Virginia Street? Or see, they read Buckthorn Avenue, which was a street two and a half miles away. I don't know. I mean, two is the funny one. That's right. It was also the true one, yeah. Regina Street. This is great.

29:45You got one with one to go. If you get this, you win. Here's your last question. Other types of construction have issues as well. Well, in 1816, the U.S. constructed a border fort on Lake Champlain to protect against attacks from British Canada, but the fort had to be demolished. Why? Was it A, they accidentally built the fort on the Canadian side of the border? B, the commander demanded a wine cellar so big that half the fort one day just sank into it? Or C, the fort was made of birch logs, and birch bark is like catnip to moose.

30:22I've seen some moose not far from Missoula, Montana so I really want to do it right for this guy I guess that's a sign I'm going to say C even though it's probably A Wait a minute, you said C even though it's probably A? Yeah Yeah

30:41So if it's probably A, wouldn't you want to choose A? Yeah, yeah It's A, yeah, okay. Thank you. Also, how did Stephen do in our kids? We're a little nudging. He got two out of three. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for the helping hand. Stephen Malcolmus is the lead singer and guitarist of Pavement, and you can see them on tour starting in July. Stephen Malcolmus, thank you so much for being on. Thank you. Give it up for Stephen Malcolmus.

31:16In just a minute, Alzo puts on his radiest sweatsuit for our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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32:43From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with John Marco Cerezi, Emmy Blotnick, and Joelle Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo.

33:07In just a minute, we try out the hot new summer craze people won't stop talking about. It's limericks. It's our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, though, it is time for you to answer more questions from the week's news. Emmy, a question for you. There's a wonderful old historic house for sale outside Philadelphia. I'll take it. There you are. There's a wonderful old historic house for sale outside Philadelphia, but anyone who buys it will have to live with what? Gritty? No. That would be an incentive.

33:46That would drive up the price. I feel like, okay. No, I'll give you a hint. Oh no, the redcoats are coming. The redcoats are coming to our yard. Keir Starmer?

33:58Well, he does need some place to go, I guess. No, when I say redcoats, I mean like literal redcoats dressed as British soldiers because they come to do a... Reenactment. A Revolutionary War reenactment. Exactly right. This nearly 250-year-old house comes with, quote, nine bedrooms, ten fireplaces, ample parking, and, this is completely true, an unbreakable agreement to let an entire battalion of dads reenact the Battle of Germantown from the Revolutionary War on the front lawn every year. and it will only cost you$995 ,000 plus whatever you have to pay to get the hell out of Germantown once a year.

34:48How hot are the dads? There really is something about the phrase battalion of dads. I sat up a little straight. Joyelle, Time Magazine has given us something we could use. Good advice. they have told us the best way to console someone whose sports team just blew a big game is by saying three exact words. What are those three words? Here's a sandwich. That's not bad. That would work for me. But that wasn't the three words they suggested. I know what three words I would say. What three words would you say? Suck it up. That's pretty good. Does anybody else have a guess? Any book recommendations? No, I think I'll just have to tell you, according to Time Magazine experts, the three words to say to somebody who was crushed by their team blowing it at the last minute is, let's zoom out.

35:48What? Let's zoom out. Your friend just watched the team that he lives and dies by, just blew it in the last seconds. He's on his knees weeping. What do you say to comfort him? One psychologist recommends wording it like this, zoom out a little bit. Let's remember how great the season was. This helps your friend remember all the success that got him to the brink of glory and also helps by immediately giving him something to punch. Yeah, it sounds like the psychologist was not a sports fan. No. Joyelle, this week, Dating.com announced a new job opening, an executive that will provide clients with what specific service?

36:29Breaking up with people? Exactly right, Joelle. Yes! The website announced they'll be hiring a, quote, chief breakup officer who'll be paid$3 ,000 a month to end other people's relationships for them. The ideal candidate will have good people skills, a compassionate nature, and at least a year experience working with drama. Where do I sign up? Really? You'd be good at this? I would absolutely be good at this. Don't you think it would be, you know, a drain on your empathy? You have to call people up and somehow say hi, I work for dating.com and I've been asked by whomever to let you know that they're not interested in seeing you anymore.

37:07I'm so sorry. I love that you think I have empathy.

37:12I would sign up for this in a second. Are you kidding me? I'm about to call them. What you call it? Dating? I'm so excited about this. I'm never coming back here again. I'm going to get this job. This is so unethical. You can't play both sides of the market. and it's like profitable, but I don't think it's right. Okay. How many women have you ghosted? Ghosted? Yeah. No, I pay someone to break up with them properly, like a gentleman. Breaking up again. Breaking up again. Coming up, it's Lightning Fell in the Blank, but first it's a game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.

37:50That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago. You can catch us on the road. We'll be at the beautiful Riverside Theater in Milwaukee on July 9th. You won't want to miss that one. And at the Rose Music Center just outside Dayton, Ohio on September 3rd. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. This is Sharon from Bradenton, Florida. Hey, how are things in Bradenton? What do you do there? Oh, lots of sunsets on the beach, meeting with friends. I have also a cat sitting business on the side.

38:25You have a cat sitting business. Yes. So do the cats come to your house or do you go to theirs? I go to theirs. Wow. What's the most interesting thing you have found rifling through people's drawers when they're not home? Oh, Peter, I don't do that. You know, I'm there for about half an hour. And that's enough. That's enough time. Yeah. Well, welcome to the show, Sharon. Alzo Slade is going to read you three news related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? Yeah, I'm ready.

38:59Here's your first limerick. To make a tough workout more bearable, I bring clothes that are old but still wearable. Like a slob, I appear in my gross, sweaty gear. I go to the gym looking... Oh, terrible? Yes, terrible. In recent years, everybody at the gym has worn fancy exercise clothes. But according to the Guardian, the latest trend among celebrities and fashionistas is wearing crappy old clothes to work out. So now the rest of us can. Finally, I can throw out my sweat-wicking tuxedo. This is one of those recession indicators where they're like, it's fashionable that your clothes suck now.

39:39Exactly. All the hut people are doing it. The look is called gym goblin. Gym goblin. Come on, the gym goblin, we all know this, is not the person who dresses down for the gym. The gym goblin is the guy who is way too comfortable being naked in the locker room I'm curious do you guys think about what you wear to the gym assuming you do go I try to dress up I have like I have some fancy tank tops that I like to wear do you really I mean the fan I mean Minnie Mouse and Minnie Mouse. I have a Minnie Mouse one. I have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I have yeah, I like I like a little flair. What do you think fancy me?

40:19Exactly Are you going to like a toddler gym? That's weird. No, it's very, it's fun. I add a little color to the gym. Yeah, a little color, yeah. Here is your next limerick. Most people will choose crisp tattoos, but this new kind is just black and blues. The ink under your shirt suggests you've been hurt because it looks like a permanent... Bruise. Right. More and more people are getting tattoos resembling stylized bruises because actually we have no idea why they are doing that. It's pretty crazy to look at. These tattoos are inked in purple, green, and yellow to look exactly like halfway healed bruises.

41:04It's crazy. And if you're looking for a cheaper, less painful way to get in on the trend, may I suggest riding an e-scooter after a couple of beers. It sounds like someone screwed up a tattoo and was like, no, it's a new thing. Yeah. All right. Here's your last limerick. A commute? We'll just quit, said a bunch. And our office is feeling the crunch. So our plan of attack, give them food. They'll come back. We're offering snacks and free... Lunch. Yes, free lunch. More and more companies have hit upon the solution at long last to bring workers back to the office. Free lunch. It's a refreshing change from the tactic most companies had been using.

41:46Come into work or you're fired. Isn't there a saying about free lunches and how there's no such thing as them? Apparently there now is, as long as you come into the office. Wow. I have found this to be true across all demographics and certainly with myself. the universal appeal of free food. I accepted this job because of free lunch. Yeah. Alzo, how did Sharon do in our quiz? She did amazing. Three out of three. Sharon, congratulations. Sharon, congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for calling and playing. Thanks. It's been great. Bye.

42:53This message comes from Mint Mobile. Get unlimited talk, text, and data for just$15 a month on the nation's largest 5G network. No catch, no gimmicks, no gotchas. To get your new wireless plan for just$15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash wait. $45 upfront payment required for new customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. Restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. This message comes from Capella University. That spark you feel? That's your drive for more. Capella University's FlexPath learning format lets you earn your degree at your pace, without putting life on pause.

43:35Learn more at capella.edu. Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? Yes, indeed. Emmy and Joyelle are locked in a tie at two with Gianmarco in the lead at three. Oh, my goodness.

44:00Okay, so that means that since Emmy and Joyelle are tied for second, I'm just going to pick Joyelle to go first arbitrarily. The clock will start when they begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, all the candidates endorsed by Mir Mamdani won their primaries in blank. New York, maybe! Yes, on Monday, Iran denied White House claims that it had agreed to let blank monitors into the country. Baby monitors. No. Nuclear monitors. According to the New York Times, new evidence does suggest that blank will hold a wedding ceremony at Madison Square Garden. Taylor Swift? Yes, on Wednesday, the chief of staffer, Eric Adams, the former mayor of blank, was arrested on corruption charges.

44:37New York, baby! Yes, after a truck overturned on the highway near Yellowstone, park rangers are warning visitors to be on the alert for blank. Drunk drivers. No, 250 million escaped bees. On Thursday, Rockstar Games announced that pre-orders were open for the latest game in the Grand Theft Blank series. Auto! Yes! This week, a tenth standoff between a SWAT team in Arizona and an armed suspect was interrupted by blank. The Jim Goblin? No, not a Jim Goblin. By a delivery robot driving right through the middle of the scene. SWAT team's out there. They've got their guns. the guy's inside, he's armed.

45:16And right in the middle of the standoff comes this delivery robot. DoorDash delivery robot. Beep, beep, beep, beep. And they couldn't make it go away and they couldn't get rid of it. But it actually ended up helping. It went up to the door and said, look, I'm on your side here. If you let everybody out of the house unharmed, I can guarantee you a bag of lukewarm French fries. Also, how did Joelle do in our quiz? She did all right. She got four right for eight more points, total of 10. She is now in the lead. All right.

45:49Emi, that means you are up next. Here we go, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, two back-to-back earthquakes struck the northern coast of blank. Venezuela. Right. This week, the U.S. warned that AI is just months away from being able to launch powerful blank attacks. Toilet? They're swarming us. No, cyber attacks. On Wednesday, Trump said he wanted the Justice Department to investigate if oil companies are artificially inflating blank prices. Gas. Right. This week, thanks to SpaceX's stock price, Elon Musk became the first ever blank. Big stupid baby.

46:24The first ever person who had been a trillionaire to become an ex-trillionaire. According to sources, Apple will release a foldable blank this September. Phone? Yes, foldable iPhone. This week, a Scottish man who went to the doctor for vision problems discovered the reason he was having trouble seeing was because blank. He was wearing eye patches. No. He was having eye troubles because he kept using a massage gun on his eyeballs. Oh, my God. Doctors were shocked when the man told them that he'd been regularly using the massage gun on his tired eyeballs once a week for at least three months. that explained several of his symptoms, including his blurred vision, his persistent floaters in his vision, and the fact that his eyes are now set all the way to the back of his skull.

47:09That sounds painful. It really does. I'm just trying to imagine the guy going, I'm sure this is good for me. Also, how did Emmy Blotnick do in our quiz? She got three right for six more points. Total of eight. Joelle is still in the lead. All right. So how many of them does John Marco need to win on his debut on this show? Debut, John Marco, you only need four points, brethren. All right. Here we go. You ready to do this? Yeah. All right, so for the game, as extreme weather continues to hit Europe, France recorded its blankest day in history. Hottest. Right, on Tuesday, A.J. DeBansa was the number one pick in the blank.

47:49A FIFA thing. No. NBA draft. This week, President Trump said he intends to finish his border blank before the end of his term. Wall. Yes, according to a new study, 77 % of Americans think that the blanks would be disappointed at how the country has turned out. Founding fathers. Yes. This week, JPMorgan Chase fired one of their executives after she was caught on camera blanking during the New York Knicks victory parade. Stealing a trash can and pouring it all out on the street. That's exactly right. It was a Knicks-themed trash can, and she wanted it. On Wednesday, NASA's Perseverance rover detected organic carbon on blank.

48:27Mars? Yes. On Tuesday, Meta released a new, cheaper version of their AI blank. A headset. VR headset. Oh, I'm going to give it to you. Glasses is what they are. This week, customers accused REI of using AI in an Instagram ad because the bicycle they posted there has blank. Six fingers. No. Fingers to begin with, I guess, on a bicycle would be weird. No, this bicycle was pictured with handlebars at both ends. REI came in for some criticism when their ad for the EDRF bike had handlebars in the front, and instead of a seat, even more handlebars pointing the other way. Honestly, though, anyone criticizing the ad is kind of full of it.

49:10Oh, this looks so uncomfortable. Unlike that paragon of comfort, a bike seat. Alzo, did John Marco do well enough to win? He kicked ass.

49:25He got six right for 12 more points, 15 total debut champions. He came, he saw, he conquered. Wow.

49:38Way to show up the vets, man. That was something. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what surprising thing authorities will find when they finally drain the reflecting pool. But first, let me tell you all. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions' Doug Berman Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our ops manager is Jasira Vardak. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King.

50:11Special thanks this week to Mohanad Elshekhi. Peter Gwynn is our lead singer. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical director is Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will they find on the bottom of that reflecting pool? Emmy Blotnick. The enormous sapphire and diamond necklace known as the heart of the ocean.

50:44Joelle Nicole Johnson. Jimmy Hoffa.

50:50And John Marco Cerezi. The real Melania Trump. And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you to Alzo Slade. Thanks also to Jill, Nicole Johnson, Amy Blotnick. John Marco Cerezi for a great debut. Thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We will see you next week.

51:22This is NPR.

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