Trade wars, what are they good for?

21:35although I watched it. It was done on an Italian TV show called La Sceau del Record. And I watched about six months later. I had spent six months just being so mad at him for not giving me this like anchor point. And I watched the episode and he had counted the whole time, but it was so painful. My brain had blocked out all the noise. So I had been carrying around this absolutely unreasonable rage for this poor Italian man for six months. That seems, I understand. But he could have said something at a minute 33. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he could have waved his arms. Congratulations. What's the international symbol for take the fire out of your mouth?

22:13Does it hurt? Oh, it hurts. It hurts a lot. Here's the thing. If you're doing basic fire eating tricks, there's a lot of science to it. The fire triangle, all you have to do is remove the spark, the oxygen, or the fuel, and if your mouth, you can close it around a torch and you basically snuff the fire out. and if you're doing it correctly, you can do it without injuring yourself. Except if you're trying to beat a world record, then there's basically no way to do that without injuring yourself. My teeth heated up so much that the bone inside was hot enough to burn the space between my teeth and my gums, and my whole mouth swole up, but they gave me a medal.

22:55There you are, okay. I was I was I was I'm still a metal a metal meaning a metal bone to replace What so you don't get paid anything to break the world record? No, no, it's just about the glory.

23:15Peter Grosz:Yeah Has your record been broken as anybody else like risen up to challenge you? I I have not had the desire to Google it. I don't want to know, but also if somebody beats it, they can have it. I know that you studied circus and all kinds of other things. Do you have any other amazing skills that we may not know about? I was an acrobat for a while. My favorite weird thing I ever did was I did an act years and years ago where I would hold on, like I'd be suspended by an aerial rig and be hula hooping a fire hoop. So it'd be like fire on a hoop while I was clenching fire torches in my toes. I only did that one summer because not only was it painful, but people didn't get it because of how it didn't make any sense.

24:05Peter Grosz:That's the problem with being a great artist like yourself. People just don't understand what you're trying to say. You had a message and the message was, I am on fire. Nobody understood. They didn't get it. All right. Magic. However, you can do all these things, but the thing that you have become extraordinarily well-known for, or at least your dear friend, Lucy Darling, has become remarkably well-known for is magic. And it's my understanding that you were performing in a variety of different guises or personas until Lucy arrived. And can you tell me where Lucy came from? Absolutely. So I've been a huge fan of old Hollywood movies for a long time.

24:48You know, Bring a Baby, What a Way to Go, like watching old Zsa Zsa Gabor movies and Mae West. I love these things. And I always had wanted to do something in that style. And right before this, the winter right before I started working on it was when Zsa Zsa Gabor passed away. And it made me realize, oh, you know, this is the last of those women. those like effortless, clever, stunning, like bon vivant style women from that era. And I just, it felt this, you know, I was compelled, you know, like this call to action. I refused to let that energy be gone from the world, even if it meant that I had to carry a tiny piece of it with me.

25:27I'm carrying it too.

25:34Peter Grosz:Zaza didn't kick you, she slapped you. So for anyone who hasn't seen Lucy Darling perform, can you describe her? I can try. Lucy is sort of like a 1940s, like almost Loki style character. She's a little evil. She is going to... My favorite thing about doing Lucy is it's drag, but it is all the parts of drag that I love most, which are like the silly, like almost mean things where you sort of push the audience a little bit. And I really tried to create a character that was like right on the line before you know it's drag. So it's deliberately a little bit ambiguous where if you know it's drag, you're like, oh, that's drag.

26:18But if not, I can kind of trick people into not, to going to see it who don't know that they like drag yet.

26:24Peter Grosz:Wow. You're like an entry level, you're like the first puff of a drug. Exactly. You know what? I like to think of myself as the Neil deGrasse Tyson of drag, you know? Yeah. All right. Well, this administration doesn't like you at all. No, no. And I'm Canadian, so it's even worse. So no. By the way, there's an extra 50 % fee on any of my shows all of a sudden.

26:59Peter Grosz:So, Carissa Hendricks, it is a pleasure to talk to you. We've invited you here to play a game we're calling Try Eating This Fire. Oh, no. You're a world record fire eater, so we thought we'd ask you about Flamin' Hot Cheetos and other spicy snacks. Get two out of three right. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Also, who is Carissa Hendricks playing for? Ryan and Don Himmel of Windsor, California. All right. Ready to play? Here's your first question. I'm ready. In 2025, a Flamin' Hot Cheeto that was shaped like the Pokemon character Charizard sold on eBay for almost$88 ,000. But that story actually isn't as impressive as it might sound.

27:39Peter Grosz:Why? Is it because A, real Pokemon fans know it looks much more like a Bulbasaur. B, eBay took a commission of$45 ,000 over 50 % of the sale price. Or C, that wasn't the highest price someone paid for a Flamin' Hot Cheeto. Oh, my gosh. Okay, as somebody who is dealing a lot with ticketing fees right now, I want to say the fee one, but I also know people are terrible with money. So I'm going to say it's that somebody paid more for a Cheeto. That's right. In 2017, a Cheeto that looked like Harambee sold for just under$100 ,000. Proving your point, Carissa. All right, here's your next question. Once you get used to flamin' hot, you might want to up the ante, and Doritos is here for you with which of these?

28:31Peter Grosz:A, Doritos Roulette, a snack pack where one in six chips was painfully spicy. B, Doritos Lime and Lime Disease flavor. Or C, Doritos Sharpened Corners edition. You know what? Based on the Doritos I've eaten, all three of those are correct. I'm going to go with the roulette one. You're right again, Carissa. You know what people want. They want a little danger in their snacking. And no Lyme disease. Right. No Lyme disease. It was so much fun, apparently, a school in the UK had to ban Doritos roulette after it sent one kid to the hospital. Oh, you don't find that amusing. All right, well. No, they're just shocked that's in the UK and not in America.

29:21Peter Grosz:Exactly right. All right, here's your last question. we wouldn't have the flame in hot flavor if the Cheeto had never been invented. What happy accident led to the creation of the Cheeto? Was it, A, in the 1930s, a farmer was cleaning out a clogged animal feed grinder and somehow the first ever Cheeto popped out? B, a police station in Boston was using orange dust to do fingerprinting and when they couldn't get it off, inspiration struck? Or C, in the 1970s, the CIA created it while attempting to develop something more addictive than heroin? I'm gonna say trying to create something more addictive.

29:58Peter Grosz:No, it was actually the animal feed grinder. That's horrible. Presumably the guy was trying to clean out the grinder by feeding some grains or something through it, and these little things popped out, and he said, huh. And he ate it. And you know what? They still make it the old-fashioned way. They do. So just think about that, kids, when you're popping a cheetah in your mouth. Alzo, how did Carissa do in our quiz? They did enough. two out of three is good for me.

30:28Peter Grosz:Good for me as well. Carissa Hendricks is the award-winning magician behind the amazing and sophisticated Lucy Darling. You can see Carissa and Lucy on tour starting in September. Carissa Hendricks, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me. Say hello to Lucy and I'll see her when she's here. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye. But you lift me so rain thighs so high And now I know the reasoning why And it's magic In just a minute, just when you thought it was safe to go back to your hotel room. That's in our listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

31:14This message comes from Mint Mobile. Cut your wireless bill. No catch. Go to mintmobile.com slash wait. Upfront payment of$45 for three months,$90 for six months, or$180 for 12 months. Plan required,$15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra, initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

31:43Peter Grosz:This message comes from Southern New Hampshire University, a non-profit provider of online education. With more than 80 career-focused master's programs to choose from and coursework that can be done 100 % online, SNHU offers education that fits your life and your goals. Learn more at snhu.edu slash wait. This message comes from Arctic Wolf. Arctic Wolf combines AI-led security operations with human expertise, helping teams detect, investigate, and respond at machine speed without building it themselves. More at arcticwolf.com slash NPR.

32:25From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Tig Notaro, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Peter Gross. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

32:42Peter Grosz:Thank you so much, Alzo. Thank you, everybody.

32:48Peter Grosz:Thank you so much. In just a minute, play the game Limerick Fans Everywhere call The Only Thing We Have Left. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tig, parents at a Kentucky middle school suspect that a map of the United States that was given to the students there might have been AI generated after they noticed that what was incorrect? The shape. I'm going to give it to you because everything was incorrect. Kentucky, the state where the school is, was labeled Vanneckie.

33:30Peter Grosz:Louisiana was Lukong. South Carolina was Sorthquanto. Why do you need to AI generate a map? Aren't there places that just make maps that are not wrong? Or can't you just Google map of the United States, look at it, make sure it's spelled right, and print it? But no, that's how it goes. The map was part of a packet of materials given out to students, which also included an apparently AI-generated periodic table full of completely botched elements. Boy, stories like this are worth their weight in gore world.

34:07Peter Grosz:Peter, finally, there's something to take the stress out of getting you to know someone. A new app that will do what before a first date? Like do a background check on somebody? Exactly right. A background check. A new website will run a full background check on your date before you meet them. It's a great way to answer the question, is he just being charmingly mysterious about his past, or does he have a bunch of DUIs? The site uses publicly available information To compile a comprehensive background check Which is what female friends have literally Been doing for years I mean don't even try This unless you can send me a screenshot Of his homecoming date from 20 years ago You amateurs There should be something that's like Do you look like one of this person's Exes?

34:50I feel like I've Known a bunch of people recently Where like you see their new person And you're like you look like one of their exes like this person has a type, like same height, hair, whatever it is. I would like to know if I was dating somebody, like am I just like a carbon copy of somebody that you've dated before? Would it bother you? I would feel like I was, like they weren't taking it seriously. That they're just looking at, they're like, you look like, and ultimately it all goes back to like my dad. Oh, it's very serious. They're trying to perfect what they started. Yeah, exactly.

35:20Peter Grosz:Come to the basement and be measured against the other specimens. I love it when they say to you, oh honey, you're the best in the series. my prom date's father did that to me really yeah we i went to go pick her up and she was getting ready upstairs and he said son i need to see your driver's license for a background check and i just went down in a giggle and tried to come up thinking that he was joking and he wasn't no he wasn't joking at all yeah not at all did you give him the driver's license absolutely yeah but i was clean yeah yeah how do you do a background check yeah was he in law enforcement He had homies in the department.

35:59He was one of those guys that knew guys that knew guys. I was picturing just like a little machine. Like a terminal. Like at the airport? Yes. When your daughter turns 15, you'd run IDs.

36:13Peter Grosz:Here, just look into my phone. It'll scan your iris. Okay. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can come see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater. And catch us on the road. We'll be at the Rose Music Center in Huber Heights, Ohio, next week on September 3rd. You can check out our back-to-school special discounted tickets. And then in Omaha, Nebraska on September 24th for tickets and information to all our live events.

36:46Peter Grosz:Go to nprpresents.org. Hi, Aaron. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, Peter. My name is Comey, calling from Aurora, Colorado. I know Aurora near Denver. Oh, we got an Aurora fan here. And do you do all those Colorado things that everybody in Colorado does? You know, I don't actually because I'm a dad of two kids, so I don't have time. Really? So you're not out like hiking and adventuring? You're just home being a dad? Yes, exactly. I like to cook for my family, but hopefully when they're grown up, I will definitely do all that stuff with them. That would be cool. Well, Comey, welcome to the show. Alzo Slade is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each.

37:22Peter Grosz:If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to apply? Here is your first limerick. With this tissue, we might be rubbed raw. I think that's the plan's only flaw. Thank God it's not sticks or even worse bricks. They're making TP from straw? Yes! Straw!

37:51Peter Grosz:They're making toilet paper from straw. Great news, toilet paper just became ouchie. It's made from rice straw, which is a byproduct of growing rice. And this person knew that this stuff was just being burned. He's like, what can I do with it? And his mind went right to toilet paper, which tells you something about rice straw and that guy. Was it white or brown rice. Would it make a difference to you? Yeah, brown rice is tougher. Yeah, it's true. And it's brown. Yeah. Anyway.

38:26Here is your next limerick. Because floors hold more sludge than a tar pit, wall to wall shouldn't be on the market. When I walk in hotels, I will guard my feet well because icky germs dwell in the carpet. Yes, look, we all love hotel carpets.

38:50Peter Grosz:They're suspiciously sticky, rough, and the perfect shade of blue, green, navy, black, brown, beige. But according to a hotel inspector for AAA, there are also, quote, germ traps, bringing them into the same category as the hotel TV remote, the light switches, the bedspreads, the doorknobs, the coffee maker, the toilet seats, the guy at the front desk, and that laminated card listing the TV channels, do not ask where that thing has been. You just named all the places that I eat off of in a hotel room. The expert says that even after housekeeping has cleaned the room, the carpets can contain so many mites or mold that you should never walk on them barefoot.

39:26I haven't walked barefoot in 30 years. Really?

39:30Peter Grosz:Anywhere? No, no. I even wear flip-flops in the shower. Anyway. At home? In your own shower? Guys, I don't need to be shamed again.

39:42Peter Grosz:All right, here is your last limerick. I ride up in a cart to tee off. Then I light a cigar with a cough. To the greens, I won't walk because my joints start to balk. It's not exercise. It is just... Golf? Yes, golf. The age-old debate of whether or not golf is exercise resurfaced this week with experts declaring it's less beneficial if you use a cart. If you don't use a cart, golf can be good for you. You're walking a bit. You're outside. You're swinging a stick. That has to have some value. But if you use a golf cart, golf has the same exercise value as, quote, darts or chair yoga, which is to say none.

40:29Peter Grosz:Wait, that means that miniature golf is better exercise than golf. Yes, miniature golf is better for you than golf and golf. If you're walking around, yeah. Got it. You're avoiding windmills. That's a lot of activity. Yeah, and you have to hit the ball hard to get it up the windmill. Yeah. So, yeah. Alzo, how did Comey do in our quiz? He did great. He got three out of three. Perfect score. Well done, Comey. Thank you so much. Thank you.

41:02This message comes from Mint Mobile. Cut your wireless bill. No catch. Go to mintmobile.com slash wait. Upfront payment of$45 for three months,$90 for six months, or$180 for 12 months. Plan required,$15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

41:31Peter Grosz:This message comes from Southern New Hampshire University, a non-profit provider of online education. With more than 80 career-focused master's programs to choose from and coursework that can be done 100 % online, SNHU offers education that fits your life and your goals. Learn more at snhu.edu slash wait. This message comes from Arctic Wolf. Arctic Wolf combines AI-led security operations with human expertise, helping teams detect, investigate, and respond at machine speed without building it themselves. More at arcticwolf.com slash NPR. Now on to our final game, lightning fill-in-the-blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

42:17Peter Grosz:Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the scores? Of course. Joyelle and Tig are tied at three, and Peter has two. Okay. So, Peter, you are in second place. Well, I just say last place. That's fine. Okay. Okay, Peter, you're losing. Yeah. So you're going to be up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Meta agreed to an$18 billion settlement over accusations that blank is harmful to kids. Everything they do. Yeah, I'll give it to you. Social media. On Monday, climate scientists reported that the world's blanks had hit their highest temperatures on record.

42:55Peter Grosz:Oceans? Yes. This week, the sister of former Senator Lindsey Graham won the GOP runoff election in blank. South Carolina. Right. This week, a teacher in Atlanta went viral after revealing she had created a corner of her classroom where students can go and blank. Be dirty. Almost. Fart. On Wednesday, medical officials warned that the blank outbreak in Congo may soon become the worst in history. Ebola. Right. One month before the start of fall, Starbucks announced the return of blank. Is it pumpkin something? Pumpkin spice. I'll give it to you. After a woman had a heart attack in their parking lot, a grocery store in Australia blanked while she was recovering.

43:32Peter Grosz:They built a part of the grocery store around her. They did something around her. No, they ticketed her car for being parked in their lot overnight. The woman was shocked after she got out of the hospital to find an$80 ticket on her car. Fortunately, when she reached out to explain to the grocery store that the reason her car had been parked there overnight was because she'd had a heart attack, they said, and this is totally true, due to the circumstances, we were able to reduce the ticket to$30. Oh, my God. Also, how did Peter do in our quiz? He got five right for 10 more points, total of 12, and the lead.

44:06The lead. The lead.

44:11Peter Grosz:I'm going to pick you, Tig, to go next, so fill in the blank. Six years after leaving the country for the U.S., blank and blank have moved back to the U.K. Harry and Meghan. That's right. This week, the trial for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, one of the architects of blank, was scheduled for 2028. The architects for blank. Architects of blank. Architects of blank. It was bad.

44:35Peter Grosz:That's a clue. There's so many bad. It's lightning. We move quickly here. I don't. 9-11. Yes. This week, rescue workers are searching for survivors after a massive blank hit the border of China and Nepal. Flood. Right. On Tuesday, health officials confirmed the U.S. had surpassed 2 ,700 cases of blank in 2026. Maisels. This week, a small airport in India, which has zero flights in or out of it, was named the country's blank. Airport? No, it was named the country's best airport for customer satisfaction. On Monday, United announced they would leave blank open in the Economy Plus section of their new jet.

45:18Peter Grosz:The middle seat. Exactly right. This week, an Italian man who led well-reviewed tours of an ancient Greek ruins has been sent to jail when it was discovered that he had blanked. When they realized he had... Yes. ...crimed. Not close enough. That he had built the ancient ruins himself. That is a crime. It is a crime. The man charged around 60 bucks a person to tour this ancient Greek amphitheater that was behind his property, but people on the tour started noticing some inconsistencies, like his claim that the site had been visited by both Cleopatra and Juliet Capulet from Romeo and Juliet. But he was just operating under the correct assumption that no one ever listens to a single word spoken during a walking tour.

46:04Peter Grosz:Alzo, how did Tig do in our quiz? Lord have mercy. Listen, I am always stunned that I'm invited back. Tid got five right for 10 more points. Total of 13 and the lead.

46:26So how many then does Joyelle need to win? Five to tie, six to win. Yeah. Four to... Lose. Lose. Got it. I'm ready.

46:38Peter Grosz:Here we go, Joyelle. This is for the game. On Monday, the Supreme Court ruled that the White House could move forward with an executive order targeting mail-in blanking. Voting. Right. On Thursday, U.S. officials said that hackers from blank broke into Justice Department servers. The internet. Specifically from China. This week, Bill Gates said that blank was much more dangerous than tech CEOs are willing to admit. Microsoft Word. I won. AI. AI. On Monday, space company blank announced plans to build a$100 billion launch pad in Louisiana. Oh, goofy SpaceX? Yeah. On Monday, auctioneers said that a jersey worn by blank at the 1998 NBA Finals could sell for over$10 million.

47:21Peter Grosz:Michael Jordan. Right. Known for his roles in the Rocky Horror Picture Show and Clue, actor blank, passed away at the age of 80. Yeah, I know. This week, Alaskan Senator Dan Sullivan is running for re-election against another man named Dan Sullivan. Was officially endorsed by blank. Donald Trump? No, he was endorsed by the former mayor of Anchorage, whose name is... Dan Sullivan. Sitting Alaskan Senator Dan Sullivan thought he'd have an easy time getting re-elected but he needs this endorsement because now he's running against another guy named Dan Sullivan and as if worries about splitting the vote between the Sullivans weren't bad enough the Democratic challenger in the race just legally changed their name to check this box for a chance to win one million dollars.

48:06Peter Grosz:Also did Joyelle do well enough to win? Nope. Yeah but she enjoyed herself and that's what's important. So you got four right for eight more points. Total of 11, which means TIG wins. Oh, my gosh. Slow and steady. There you are. Slow and steady. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, now that Amazon drones are in the air, what will be the next big innovation in deliveries? But first, let me tell you all, wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks.

48:44Peter Grosz:Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our ops manager is Jaceera Vardak. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater, BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson. Peter Gwynn was assisted this week by Dan Sullivan. And Dan Sullivan. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Mike Danforth.

49:11Peter Grosz:Now, panel, what will be the next innovation in package delivery? Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Delivery through cans. Cans are whoop-ass. Peter Gross. When it's revealed that Amazon's drones are made in Canada, they'll be forced to switch to the most American method of delivery, T-shirt cannons. And Tig Notaro. Well, I've heard they are currently in the process of working on this new state-of-the-art system where humans manually pilot their very own vehicle to a local retail store, execute a real-time physical transaction with another humanoid, and then get this, self-deliver the package to their very own private residence.

49:58Early testing with advanced robotics confirms this zero drone manual carry model is so far 100 % viable. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

50:17Peter Grosz:Thank you, Alzo Slade. Thanks also to Joelle Nicole Johnson, Peter Gross, and Dick Notaro. Thanks to all our fabulous audience here at the Studio Baker Theater. Thanks to everyone who's listening, wherever you might be. And Peter Sagal, we'll see you next week outside Dayton, Ohio.

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