We admire dimes and Aasif Mandvi gives breakup advice

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0:36From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the voice so hot, the mic drops itself. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Oh, thank you, everybody. Great to see you. Thank you so much. Later on today, we're going to be talking to former Daily Show correspondent Asif Manvi, who left that show in 2017 to star in TV shows and movies and plays in which he didn't have to talk at all about the news. The man has timing. So give us a call before we figure out a way out.

1:23The number to call is 1-888 - wait, wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Grace, and I'm calling from Peachum, Vermont. Peachum, Vermont. I'm going to say that if I wrote like a TV show set in a fictional but charming Vermont town, I'd probably call it Peachum. Is it what I imagine? Is it beautiful and verdant and filled with interesting people, Grace? You bet it is. It's a beautiful place. It's a hill town about an hour south of Quebec and 20 miles from the nearest Starbucks. Whoa. Whoa. Well, Grace, let me introduce you to our panel this week.

2:09First up, it's the comedian you can see April 9th at Tula Lip Casino in Seattle and April 27th through May 3rd at the Comedy Cellar at the Rio in Las Vegas. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hello, Grace. Oh, hello, Alonzo. Next, she's a comedian you can see in Frederick, Maryland on April 17th at the Weinberg Center for the Arts and host of the podcast Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. It's Paula Poundstone. Hey, Grace. Hey, Paula. Love you, girl. Oh, thanks so much. And finally making his debut on our show. It's a comedian whose podcast, Coastal Idiots, can be heard every Tuesday on all the platforms. And you can catch him at the Den Theater here in Chicago as part of the Windy City Comedy Festival on August 6th.

2:54It's Shane Torres. Hi, Grace. How are you? Hi, Shane. Nice to meet you. So, Grace, you're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Oh yeah, I'm ready. Here we go. Your first quote is about the new trend of people gambling on reality TV. Is it legal to take a boat to Fiji and watch the finalists on the beach with binoculars? That was a question the New York Times asked after news that people are now betting on the outcome of what reality show?

3:31Oh gosh, I need a hint. Well, you can also bet on things like How many times Jeff Probst says, come on in, guys. Survivor? Survivor, yes. The prediction markets, like Polymarket and Kalshi, they're now taking bets on the outcome of reality shows, meaning someday you might hear a small child say, Daddy had to sell the house because Kayla won The Bachelor. So this is... So, Peter, let me ask you. Yes. Can I put a bet down now on this show? Sure. Why not? I'm all in on Paula Poundstone. I think, really. The odds, man. You can't get good odds on Paula. Yeah. If there's some sort of reality show theme during this show, I'm definitely going to be the winner.

4:20Exactly. I'm just going to say, as an experienced gambler from way back, betting on reality shows, reality shows, that's for amateurs, I put$40 ,000 on young Sheldon dying in a fire. So, thanks to these new prediction markets, you can now bet on almost literally anything. The opening box office of the new Avengers movie, you can bet on that. The highest temperature in Des Moines, Iowa next month. There is, this is true, a big bet on Polymarket right now, on whether or not Jesus will return by the end of this year. You can bet on that. I mean, they supposedly, it's all legit, but it's a little suspicious that a guy with the screen name Papa Leo 14 has half a million on no.

5:12You know, if we were culling, you know, if we were, you know, like... Trying to remove the less, shall we say, productive members of society. Then I say you just find whoever made a bet on that at all. Yeah. And that's the first batch. You need to go. And, you know, it's not a popularity contest. We will, you know, we round them up, we put them on an island, and then we bet on that.

5:45Here's your next quote. Why are we wasting money making these? Two nickels work just fine. That was a commenter in the ABC News affiliate talking about the new what being made by the U.S. Mint. The new dime? Yes, dimes. Dimes, yes.

6:08In honor of the nation's 250th anniversary, the U.S. Mint has begun shipping out shiny new dimes. And on the front of the new dime is a profile of Lady Liberty that has replaced the old profile of FDR. It turns out we are allowed to have women on currency as long as the woman is imaginary.

6:33sad but true yeah he's just stating a fact people uh it's a little controversial because the eagle on the back used to hold arrows in an olive branch but they have now gotten rid of the olive branch so it's more warlike and people are like ah this is trump again he's doing this but no it was actually designed under joe biden in fact joe biden unveiled the new dime by pulling it from behind your ear and telling you not to spend it all in one place

7:04I think it's funny that the dime is controversial Because I suspect They could have rolled out the new dimes And not said anything And no one would have noticed That's true When have you last looked at a dime? When's the last time you used a dime? Well now they're going to have to bring back payphones So we have something to do with it That's true I love to payphones Like in an airport When you can get the kind that had the seat in it Oh yeah You could close the door. The lap of luxury in there. It was, yeah, it was like a refuge. I'd get in there with my phone book and just have at it. What's a payphone?

7:43Yeah. I'm a little younger. All the Gen Z listeners just, oh, there they go again. Yeah, there they are. Talking about how good it used to be. Payphones. Yeah. Well, even mentioning a phone book to a Gen Zer, you have to explain. It's a book that darks to everyone.

8:03All right. We have one more quote for you. This is from the spokesperson for a mysterious artist who, until now, we've known only by his pseudonym. The artist has decided to say nothing. That artist was staying silent after his identity was finally revealed this week. Who is it? Another one? Do you take Howard? Oh, somebody help me. I have another hint. I have another hint. He is famous for the paintings he puts up on the sides of buildings, including, appropriately, Banksy. Banksy, yes. Banksy.

8:45An investigation by Reuters has finally revealed the real identity of Banksy. His real name is Robin Gunningham, which I guess explains why he calls himself Banksy. It's going to be so weird now. He was this mysterious figure. Now he's just a guy. He'll be taking out the trash and his neighbors will be like, hey, Robin Gunningham, saw your devastating social commentary last week. Nicely done. You think his neighbors are like, so that's why there were so many spray cans. Yeah. Every week. We just thought he was huffing it. Yeah. So how does this affect the value of his work? That is a good question.

9:26Art collectors have wondered if this revelation might negatively affect the prices of Banksy's work. He's no longer that mysterious. Yeah, dip with Rembrandt. Yeah, true. One Banksy dealer doesn't think so. Quote, my clients buy Banksy's art because of the art itself, he said, lying. It's disappointing. It's just some random guy. It would have been so fun if they were like, we can finally reveal the real identity of fame to street artist Banksy, and it is Shaquille O 'Neal? Bill, how did Grace do on our quiz, ultimately? Grace, you got there eventually. You are a winner. Yay. Thank you, Grace.

10:07Thank you guys so much. Take care.

10:20Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Shane Clavicular is the now famous looks-maxing influencer. He's done everything to improve his appearance, up to and including smashing the bones in his face. According to a report we saw this week, he had a very surprising fan. Who was it? Oh, my God. Please. Somebody yell, Paul the Poundstone. That would be arguably even more surprising, but it's not Paul. I would love any kind of thing, please. I will give you a hint. We don't know if his son has inherited this enthusiasm along with the leadership of Iran's revolutionary council.

10:56Oh, the new leader. The new president. Actually, the old one. Oh. Yes, the now late supreme leader of Iran, according to a website called Tehran Dispatch, which seems to offer otherwise very serious reports about things going on in Iran, the late Ayatollah watched 300 hours of content from online insane person clavicular. This is very surprising because the Ayatollah wasn't even that hot. According to one of the Ayatollah's associates familiar with the discovery, quote, there are aspects of a man's private life that are between him and God. According to God, quote, please don't drag me into this.

11:44I bet God says that a lot. Probably. Particularly now. Yeah, God wears a t-shirt that says that. I wonder if he was watching it or was his wife like, hey, look at this. Yeah. Hey, look at this. Have you ever considered shaving the beard, maybe? Could you put the hat askew? Yeah, a little bit. A little cocky kind of thing, yeah. Anyway, meanwhile, when asked for a comment on this, Clavicular said, quote, What's Iran?

12:15You're so pretty Oh, so pretty You really knocked me Off my feet Coming up, our panelists take a bite out of the Big Apple in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

12:44This message comes from LinkedIn, who knows the wrong hire can cost small businesses more than just time. That's why LinkedIn Hiring Pro goes beyond resumes, using insights you can't find anywhere else to give you a short list of candidates who truly fit, so you can hire right the first time. Post your first job and get$100 off at linkedin.com slash NPR author. Terms and conditions apply.

13:13From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Shane Torres, Alonzo Bowden, and the one and only Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.

13:40Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Dimitri from Elon, North Carolina. Elon, North Carolina. How many signatures does the petition to change the town's name have at this point? Trust me, the school definitely has done a little bit of a rebrand. Yeah. Oh, yes. Elon University, right? Yes. Yes. Are you a student there? I just graduated from their law school back in December. Oh, really? That's awesome. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah. And what kind of law do you anticipate doing?

14:23If I was to practice, I would want to do civil rights or try to work for government agencies to make sure that things work well and work the way they're supposed to. I'm glad at least one person wants that to happen. I hope you get that job. Dimitri, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Dimitri's topic? Give my regards to Broadway. You never know what might happen on a trip to New York City. You could run into a celebrity. You could step in any number of mystery puddles. Our panelists are going to tell you about one tourist trip to the Big Apple that was so memorable it made the news.

15:03Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize, the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. You ready to play? Sure am. All right, first let's hear from Alonzo Bowden. When Connor Langley from Dalzell, South Carolina told his friends and neighbors he was going to New York for the first time, he was warned New York was a dangerous town. where nothing was green and everyone was dangerous. Prepared for the worst, Connor hit New York, and immediately he was struck by how aggressive the city was. Aggressively nice. When lost at a train station, an older lady helped him get to his hostel in Brooklyn.

15:38When staring up at the Empire State Building, he realized he was in someone's way when a man yelled, hey, I'm walking here. Step aside and enjoy the beauty of our city, my friend. at Central Park. He asked a lady why New York had such a reputation for being mean when the people were so nice. And she said it was a weird thing about New York. The people are nice, but to protect that, they act mean. Connor just nodded and asked where to get some bad pizza because he was told even the bad pizza was actually pretty good. A man is stunned to find New Yorkers are filled with kind, helpful people who give you the time of day.

16:20Your next New York Minute comes from Shane Torres. Many artists dream of making it big in New York City. This is no different for fledgling Swedish metal band, Donderkat, roughly translated to Death Breath, who this week ended their three-week American tour with a show in New York. As the band pulled up to the venue for a soundcheck, they could not believe the enormity of it. After playing 200, 300 capacity rooms the whole tour, they were now pulling up to the Javits Center, an enormous convention center in Manhattan. But no, Dondercott did not hit it big overnight. This was all a result of mistaken identity, as the band had been booked to play a dental convention.

16:56Because Dondercott translates to death breath, the slang term dentists use for halitosis, one organizer wrongly assumed the band was dental metal, not death metal. But they went ahead and played a signature song like Mouth of Hell and You Are the Cavity of My Soul to over 3 ,000 dentists, a.k.a. new fans. When asked by the website Metal Injection what he thought about the gig, frontman Jan Skarsgård said, I loved it. These dentists are way more disturbed than any of our regular fans. A Swedish death metal band ends up entertaining 3 ,000 dentists at the Javits Center. Your last story from The City That Never Sleeps comes from Paula Poundstone.

17:40Faisal, Mons of Schimmerhofen, Germany, came to New York City on holiday in August of 2024 to take his bite out of the Big Apple. By the time he left, he was seeking 20 million in damages. Quite a bite. In fact, Mr. Monsa's alleged out-of-towner odyssey of mistreatment began when he took a bite of a taco from Los Tacos No. 1 on 43rd Street, where he says his tongue and mouth were burning and immediately worsening to gastrointestinal and emotional distress. So he sued. Days later, he tried to use his phone inside the Walmart Supercenter in Seacock, it's New Jersey, probably to buy some Pepto-Bismol.

18:22His phone wouldn't work inside the Walmart. So he sued. This week, all of Mr. Muntz's cases were dismissed, but with international tourism at such a dismal low, the possibility of luring foreigners back to the Big Apple with a sue-the-crap-out-of-New-York-City tour shouldn't be tossed aside. All right. Here are your choices. Somebody had a memorable trip to New York. Was it from Alonzo, a person who came expecting the worst but received the best, so much so that he told the news about it? From Shane Torres, a Swedish death metal band found itself at the Javits Center, an enormous place filled with dentists, but was a hit anyway.

19:04or from Paula, a German tourist who came to New York City and Secaucus, New Jersey for the sights had such a terrible time he sued everybody for$20 million. Which of these was the real story we found in the news about a trip to New York City? I'm not saying this is the real one, but Paula's story sounded like a tort hypothetical that I know a lot of the 1Ls went through a couple months ago. But I think Alonzo's story is the true one. All right. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we talked to someone who reported on it. The green salsa at Los Tacos No. 1 is not out of this world spicy. But it did cause this German tourist intestinal distress.

19:50That was Christopher Mogg, a journalist on the Metro Desk at the New York Times, talking about that German tourist's tour of the American legal system. So what I have to tell you, sir, is that Paula's story was not a hypothetical. So you didn't win, but you earned a point for Alonzo for telling a charming story about his own native city Thank you so much for playing and good luck as you navigate the even weirder things that happen in real life Thank you Take care, bye bye Bye bye This town is champagne So shake the bottle, pop that cork All the deadliest sins are like one night in New York. And now the game where we ask people who've done a lot to do something else.

20:41We call it Not My Job. Now, if you're like me, you first became a fan of Asif Manvi during his long run as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. But again, if you're like me, you may not have known that he's also a longtime working actor with roles in TV, film, and theater. Right now, he is starring in a new comedy on Peacock called The Miniature Wife, and he's rehearsing for a revival of Noel Coward's Fallen Angels on Broadway. Asif Manvi, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you.

21:13It's great to finally talk to you after watching it for so many years. Like I said, I always love hearing stories about, like, actors who were at it for a while and paid their dues. I heard this remarkable story after starting at a Disney theme park, which I love. You ended up in New York and you did a whole bunch of jobs. And I love this, including you worked for a company that put on like murder mystery parties. Yeah. Yeah. I used to perform in murder mysteries where we would go undercut, like sort of incognito into these parties and then someone would get killed. And one of the most infamous ones that I ever did was at an Orthodox Jewish meet.

22:00They were trying to meet people to get married. Like a singles meet-up. A singles meet-up thing, right? And we go in there and... I just want to pause and say somebody organized a singles meet-up for Orthodox Jews and said to themselves, you know what would make this a really great evening? Yeah, exactly. If somebody were murdered. Yeah. All right, you go in there. And so I just remember that I was, one of the other actors who I used to work with at the time was Connie Britton. And she was sort of chatting up this guy who I just remember was wearing a yellow suit, so that'll tell you everything about him.

22:40Yeah. And he thought he had, and she was really chatting him up, and he thought he had hit the jackpot. Right. It's like this beautiful woman is talking to me and then about 20 minutes into it, she was killed by that.

23:03I've had dates like that. I'm just sympathetic. You are going on Broadway in this revival of the Noel Coward play with the great Rose Byrne, among many others. The other thing you have coming out is a TV show on Peacock, a comedy called The Miniature Wife. And I have to say, I heard the title, and I said to myself, oh, that must be like a metaphor. It's about a wife. She's maybe in the shadow of her husband. She feels small. That's not what it's about, is it? No, no. It's about a man who has, he's a scientist who has designed a sort of serum that can miniaturize crops to combat climate change.

23:46So, you know, Matthew McFadden, who I love from Succession, and Elizabeth Banks, who I worked with many years ago in Williamstown, is literally six inches tall and lives in the dollhouse. But they hate each other, and they're constantly trying to kill each other. So it's Honey, I Shrunk the Kids meets Tom and Jerry. Did you have to spend any time on set, like, crouching down and pretending you're talking to a six-inch high Elizabeth Banks? Yes. Later in the season, I do... Matthew hides the whole storyline of his wife from me for a long time until he finally can't. And then there is a moment where he and I are both on the floor talking to a small cardboard cutout of Elizabeth Banks.

24:31Right. And they would sort of move her around. and then sort of pretend like she was walking. One more question for you. Like I said at the beginning, I first knew you and became a big fan when you were on The Daily Show, but I heard a story, I don't know how this could be true, that you ended up appearing on The Daily Show the same day you auditioned for it? Yeah. How is that even possible? That is true. A couple of days earlier, I had found out that my ex-girlfriend had gotten engaged, and so I was very upset, and I was writing one of those letters. No! you know that you write to your ex-girlfriend saying how you up you know you and and i can't say that can i say that i mean you just did it's all right you'll figure it out anyway so i'm writing this and i get this call uh to come on audition for the daily show and i and i i was in such a bad place uh that i said i can't come in today i don't feel like can i come in tomorrow and they said no if you don't come in today then it's done so i literally just like put on a suit and I went in and I honestly just had this like attitude of like I'm never going to get this this is ridiculous like I I'm in the wrong frame of mind and John uh met me and he said uh and I was a little bit surly and I said and he because he said to me he said have you uh uh you know have you ever performed in front of a live audience and I remember looking at him and just being like dude I've been on Broadway and and I I had such but I just did my best Stephen Colbert impression because that's all I needed to do, and I was a fan of the show.