We beef with the pontiff and admire the Stanley Cup

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0:22From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the man they bring in when Bill Curtis gets busted for claiming Peter as a dependent. I'm Alzo Slade, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Alzo. Thanks, everyone. Thanks to all of you. Great to see you. We do have a fine show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking for the first time ever on our show to a professional escort. That's right, the man who was paid to escort the Stanley Cup. What did you think I meant? But first, it's your turn to come on and try to check me into the boards.

1:06Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi. Hi, who's this? This is Jennifer. I live in Tampa, Florida. I am an ELCA Lutheran pastor. Yeah, so. I think, and I'm not sure about this, but the one person who was excited about Tampa was also the same person excited about you being a Lutheran. So maybe it's a coincidence. Maybe they're just really happy today. We don't know. Yes. Well, Jennifer, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, a comedian who will be appearing at the White Rabbit Cabaret in Indianapolis, Indiana on Thursday, April 23rd.

1:49It's Adam Burke. Hi, nice to meet you, Jennifer. Hi. Hi. Next up, you can see here April 23rd through the 26th at Rooster Teethers in San Jose, California, and May 8th at the Hollywood Improv with the Netflix is a Joke Festival. It's Dulce Sloan. Hello. Hello. It's me. Amen. And a comedian, you can see it. And a comedian you can see at Soboba Casino in San Jacinto, California, April 24th. And the comedy seller in Las Vegas, April 27th through May 3rd, it's Alonzo Bowden. Hello. Hello. So Jennifer, Reverend Jennifer, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Alzo this time? Alzo Slade filling in for Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.

2:36If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Okay. Here is your first quote, Jennifer. It's from the president attacking a new rival this week. He's very weak on crime. Apparently, President Trump was upset about the high crime rate in Vatican City as he took on who this week? Pope Leo. Yes, the Pope. Pope. Or to use his technical title, the Pope. Yes, the president got into a beef with the Pope about the war in Iran, but who knew that the Pope was weak on crime? That was surprising.

3:23It also raises the question, do we want a tough on crime Pope? Like he takes your confession and instead of seven Hail Marys, he gives you the death penalty. And I got to say, if President Trump thinks the Pope is weak on crime, wait till he finds out about the Buddha. If you wanted any proof that Donald Trump knows nothing about history, he's starting to beef with an Italian guy from Chicago. Exactly. That never ends well. No, it doesn't. And Italian guys from Chicago love beef. It's true. It's true. I'm thinking about it though but actually we thought about it it'd be cool if the Pope did fight crime right it'd be exciting like coming to Netflix this summer only murders in the conclave well they've already had murders in the conclave that's true yeah that's how we kept getting new Popes yeah does Trump think he's weak on crime because last time he was in the Vatican there was a bunch of guys nailed to wooden everywhere hope didn't do anything about it so he starts this beef with the Pope and then he decides to like just you know to throw some fuel in the fire, he posts a picture of himself as Jesus healing the sick.

4:35And when he was criticized for this, he insisted, and this is true, oh, he's not supposed to be Jesus in the picture, don't you see? He's a doctor. That's what he said. Because whose doctor doesn't wear flowing white robes and treat you with glowing beams of light emanating from his hand? Well, that's the Republican health plan. Right there, yeah. That's all you're going to get.

5:00Jennifer, here is your next quote. Okay. Just take two aspirin. You'll be fine. That advice was given to a patient who was, in fact, suffering a serious medical condition. It was part of a study showing you should not ask what for medical advice.

5:20I'm going to say AI, but perhaps I need a hint. No, you were right. AI, chat box, chat GPT. I mean, everybody's doing it, but they shouldn't. New research says if you give AI a chatbot, just one or two symptoms of something bothering you, they will fail to give you the right diagnosis 80 % of the time. Either they will, as that one did, dismiss a serious disease as nothing, or say a minor complaint means you just have days to live. Robots are stealing other robots' jobs. Telling me I'm going to die is WebMD's thing. The head of health and human services is wrong 90 % of the time That's true, so it's an improvement And he's certainly not a doctor I mean, they're clearly trying to destroy us They're just like, it'll be fine Have you guys ever done this?

6:13I know a lot of people actually use chat GPT and are very happy with it Have you ever tried it? I used it What'd you do this for? Yeah, I asked for health advice And what'd you get? Yeah, it told me that I was going through perimenopause

6:28don't explain the moon swings now of course the way the chatbots do is they just suck up all the information on the internet and they use predictive technology to figure out what to say so this is true a researcher in sweden uploaded a fake paper she wrote describing a completely made up illness called bixonomania including thanks to and i quote researchers at starfleet academy and funding from the Sideshow Bob Foundation in the paper. And sure enough, within a year, chatbots were telling people all over the world that they had Vixenmania. The amazing part, Vixenmania is what the Trump Jesus doctor was curing in that picture.

7:12So chat, GPT is just a telephone psychic? Kind of, sort of. They have no information. They have absolutely nothing. And so it's just Ms. Cleo? Well, sort of, kind of. No, because chat GPT does not cost 99 cents a minute. That's true. All right. Here, Jennifer, is your last quote. Okay. Stuff always gets left behind. I didn't have to pay for eggs for a hot minute. That was someone quoted in the Washington Post about why they like to eat the food people leave behind. Where? At a restaurant? Not at a restaurant. That would be creepy, walking around, waiting for people to leave a table, diving in before the busboy can get there.

7:52Yeah, I've done it, but I'm not recommending it. Can you give me a hint? Yeah, well, apparently they are supposed to clean between guests, but sometimes they don't check the fridge. Oh, in a hotel. Well, close, in an Airbnb, right? More and more people are booking private vacation rentals, right? There's a growing debate as that happens about whether or not you should eat the leftovers you find in the fridge. Some people think that's gross. Other people are like, oh, great, free baba ganoush. I think Wouldn't it depend on Like if it's just like oh there's a bag of oranges Right I could see somebody doing that as opposed to Oh there's chicken wings And four of them got a bite out of it Yeah Actually you know who apparently eats a lot of it Are the owners of the Airbnb That's part of I guess a perk of being a landlord One guy complained to the post That his family wouldn't eat the leftovers he brought home from his rental, which he said recently included lobster mac and cheese.

8:53Come on, kids, it's just old cheese and shellfish other people has breathed on. It's great. Now, there are certain food items you know you're always going to find in a vacation rental, like your old vegetable oil, an unusually small amount of pancake mix. It's all useless. On the other hand, if you are going to make a recipe that calls for nothing but bay leaves, you are in business. Yes. odd spices that don't connect. It's like cinnamon in Majora. I don't know what I'm supposed to make. You can't put this on a chicken. Kind of weird cinnamon chicken. I'm not that late. No cinnamon chicken. You can and then leave it for the Airbnb owner.

9:34That'll teach him. And ruin his night. Also, how did Jennifer do in our quiz? She got a perfect score. Three out of three. Congratulations, Reverend. Yay! Hallelujah! Thanks. Thank you so much for playing. It was very fun. Thank you very much. Take care. I'm a hungry man. That's what I am. I'm a hungry man. That's what I am. A hungry man. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alonzo, big news in cheese making. Thanks. I know, it's exciting. Thanks to a change in the law in Switzerland, the makers of traditional Swiss cheese will now be able to add artificial what to their cheeses?

10:25Holes? Yes, holes. In recent years, holes have started disappearing from traditional Swiss cheese, something I learned from my holes Google alert. It turns out... I'm so mad. A hole can't disappear. A hole is the disappearance of the thing that the hole is replacing. I'm about to lose my mind. Let me attempt to explain. It turns out in traditional Swiss cheese making, the holes in the cheese are caused by tiny particles of hay from the milk barn that gets into the milk. And with modern automatic milking technology, those little particles don't occur, right? So Swiss cheese makers want the holes back, but not from the guy who keeps showing up at the factory saying, I'll do it, no questions asked.

11:22So they went to court in Switzerland and won the right to create their own holes artificially, and it's still Swiss cheese. I love that at some point in this saga, somebody pounded his fist in the table and said, get me the best damn cheese lawyer money can buy. I love that Switzerland basically sat out World War I and II, but this, they finally take a stand. Yeah, we've got to get the horn back. Coming up, the pressure is on in this week's Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from GoodRx.

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12:38Visit rosettastone.com slash NPR today.

13:06RIVIAN.com.

13:11From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Adam Burke, and Dulce Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello. Hello. This is Hannah in Austin. Hello, Hannah in Austin, Texas. What do you do there? I am a registered nurse turned private practicing licensed massage therapist and end-of-life schooler.

13:54So if I were dying for a massage, you would definitely be the person to go to. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Well, Hannah, welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must write to tell truth from fiction. Also, what is Hannah's topic? You blew it. As the great philosopher Eminem said, you only get one shot. Do not miss your chance to blow. This week, somebody had a chance to do something amazing, but came up short. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

14:32I am. You are? Okay, well then let's play. Let's start then with Alonzo Bode. Wannabe influencer Alan Lane bought a computer from Brandon Terrell on Facebook. He deleted the computer's memory, a bunch of math and maps, to edit videos of him smoking a cigar for his brand. He figured he'd get rich on millions of views. Now he has videos of him crying at the idea of losing millions of dollars. The former owner of the computer, Brandon Terrell Sr., spent a lifetime researching the Bermuda Triangle and had it figured out. He had researched wind and water currents, the times and temperatures of when things disappeared.

15:11Terrell believes that his research could have led to a fortune in sunken treasure. So Terrell Jr. sold the computer thinking all the data was backed up to iCloud, but he forgot to pay Apple the$3 monthly fee for extra storage, so it all vanished the day the new owner erased it. Once he realized what had happened, he joined forces with the new owner. Lane smokes his cigars for views while Terrell tries to rebuild his computers from memory so he can make them both rich. A man almost acquired the secret to untold riches at the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle but erased it all. Your next story of a big chance comes from Dulce Sloan.

15:53We've all met up with friends after a work event and still had our work stuff with us, like a laptop, a suitcase full of comedy merch, or a Fabergé egg. That's what happened to Rosie Dawson, who was entrusted to show the Fabergé egg and matching watch to potential buyers by her employer, the Kraft Whiskey Company. When she was unable to sell the pieces, she did what anyone would do after a hard day at work. She put the egg in her bag and went to the pub. Enter Enzo Conticello, a run-of-the-mill pickpocket, who noticed Dawson's$2 ,000 Givenchy handbag on the floor. So he stole it like he was supposed to.

16:35Because who puts a$2 ,000 bag with a Fabergé egg in it on the floor of a bar? Now, what does a petty thief do with a Fabergé egg? Well, he's a regular person. Who doesn't know what it is? So he traded a bag and everything in it for cocaine. he didn't find out the value of his thievery was about 2.7 million dollars until he was in court do you know how much cocaine you can buy with 2.7 million dollars now I have no idea I'm a good Christian woman but I'm sure it's a lot a thief steals a purse takes out the money and cards and throws away the Fabergé egg inside. Your last story of somebody coming up short comes from Adam Burke.

17:28It's considered one of the greatest missed opportunities in sports history. Boston Red Sox owner Harry Frazee sells Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees in 1920 for$100 ,000, ushering in an 84-year World Series drought for the Sox, propelling the Yankees to huge success and making Ruth a baseball legend. It's also a pivotal moment in a new musical about the Bambino entitled simply Babe! which began production earlier this year in Boston. That was until Walt Gassman, the play's chief financial backer dropped into rehearsals and witnessed some of the show's so-called hit numbers such as I'm not throwing away my shot but I am calling it a whole new world series and ho, ho, ho, where the murderers wrote and decided he had a stinker on his hands.

18:19Enter Janice Keller, an aspiring empresario from the Bronx, who upon hearing Gassman complain about the show at a function, offered to buy it from him. All the things he hated, I adored, says Keller, like when the sick kid flies in on his hospital bed, magic. And in a case of life imitating art imitating life, Boston's loss has been New York's gain, with the plague becoming an instant camp classic off-Broadway and quickly making its money back. I guess Boston won't win a Tony anytime soon, groused Gassman. All right. These are your three stories of a lost opportunity. Was it from Alonzo Bowden, a guy who bought a computer and erased it before he realized on it was the secret to untold sunken treasure?

19:05From Dulce Sloan, a thief who grabbed a purse and threw it away, not realizing he had just thrown away a$2.5 million Fabergé egg inside. Or from Adam Burke, the story of Babe Ruth being sold from Boston to New York is recapitulated again in a musical about Babe Ruth being sold by Boston to New York. Which of these is the real story of a lost opportunity? Wow. The option.

19:35I have to pick Dulce. seems like seems like the human thing to do the human thing to do because who would think of the banging up a purse that there's a Fabergé egg inside alright you chose Dulce's story well we spoke to a reporter who covered the real story he takes her to watch the handbag and she realizes oh my gosh my Fabergé egg is being stolen that was the Telegraph's Lauren Sheriff talking about the stolen slash not stolen Fabergé-Egg in London. Congratulations, Hannah. You got it right. You're in a point for Dulce. You've won our prize. The voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail.

20:13Thank you so much for playing with us today. Take care. Thank you. Thanks for having me.

20:24And now the game we call Not My Job. The National Hockey League playoffs begin next week, and the winning team won't get their own version of the Stanley Cup, the championship trophy, because there is only one. Each member of the winning team, though, will get to have that one trophy for one day before it goes back on display. And that means somebody has to escort it safely from place to place. And that somebody is Phil Pritchard, a longtime employee of the Hockey Hall of Fame and the official guardian of the one and only Stanley Cup. And he joins us now. Phil Pritchard, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

21:07So, first a fact check. Is that correct? That hockey is the only major sport that does not give the trophy to the team to keep? They get to hold it up in the air and have it for a while, but then they have to give it back. Yeah, it's actually a pretty amazing tradition, Peter. The team wins it, obviously, in late June, and they get it for 100 days, which means everybody on the team gets an opportunity to take it home. Right. Not only the players, the coaches, the trainers, the equipment managers, the staff. Everyone gets time with it because it's a team event. Right. And so why, do you know how that tradition began?

21:42Was it like they didn't have the money to make a new trophy every year? Well, you know what? You look at that trophy, it's three feet high, it's 38 pounds, it's pure silver. I think it's beautiful enough you only want one of them. Nothing against the other sports traditions. They do a great job of it, but none of it is like the Stanley Cup. Yeah, they didn't have the money. They didn't have the money, yeah. Thanks, Aldo.

22:10And this has been your job for a long time. You are the guy who brings the cup to the game, who gives it to the winning team, then takes it and brings it to each member of that team. That's your job. Yeah, and it's a pretty amazing summer because I only hang out with winners. So it's pretty good. Please tell me you have that on a t-shirt. How did you get that job, Phil? What skills did you bring to it? When he was little, he said, that's what I want to be when I grow up. Also, I don't think anyone ever says that. They want to win it. They want to bring it home to mom and dad. I didn't plan on bringing it to someone else's mom and dad.

22:55That didn't really work out that way. You know what's amazing, though? I took a sports administration course in college, and one thing led to another. And working at the Hockey Hall of Fame, the game was evolving, and it became more and more an international sport, more than just North Americans, players from all around the world. So it began the effect of trying to, how do we get this trophy out there to everybody? And yours truly put up his hand and said, why don't we take it around and let everyone celebrate it with it for a day? So I think we've been to 31 countries with it around the world now.

23:35Wait a minute. You just told me something I hadn't heard, which is that you came up with the idea of every member of the winning team getting it for one day. Well, Alzo and I did, actually. You know what it was? It was like we got to figure out a way to get our sky miles up. So you said, I have an idea. Let's get it out in the world. Let's let every player and other associate of the winning team have it for a day. And then somebody said, well, that's ridiculous. Some idiot would have to pick up the damn thing and fly around the world with it for 100 days. Where are we going to find that fool? Here's the idiot right here.

24:11All right. Over the years. I was part of a whole team that came up with that idea. Yeah, and I'm a little biased here, but I think it's one of the greatest traditions there is in sport because they get the chance to take it home to their hometown and celebrate with their family and friends. Okay, we on this show over the years have occasionally mentioned, when it's made the news, some of the weirder things that the players especially have done with the cup during that precious day when it's in their possession. What are some of the weirdest things you've seen?

24:49Wow. We've been water skiing on Sea-Dews with it. We've been in sauna parties in northern Finland. We've been mountain climbing in the Rocky Mountains. Wait a minute. Let's go back. A player says to you, all right, it's my, I'm assuming it's a player. They get a lot of head blows to the head. He says, I'm going to take the Stanley Cup. I'm gonna tuck it under my arm. I'm gonna get on me my sea-do my jet ski type thing And I'm gonna scoot out across the ocean or lake holding it and you say Make sure it's got a life jacket on Water safety is important. Okay. Has anyone ever offered you some cash to keep it a couple extra days or?

25:32Oh a lot a lot of cash guys Yeah, I mean these guys are well paid So I imagine that they're like, you know, hey, I got some friends who haven't seen it yet. That has happened? It has. Have you seen the shirt I have on? I'm not wealthy. Yeah. But you've resisted the temptation. I've never taken a bribe. Let me ask you a question. I know that you played hockey. Well, you're Canadian. It's obvious you played hockey as a young man. You had aspirations. So presumably like all Canadian kids, you dreamed of the Stanley Cup yourself. Yeah. And given your job, have you ever imagined or planned what you would do were you to get the cup to yourself as one of the players or team members do?