We skip the salad bar and have a banana instead

0:00This message comes from Capital One Commercial Bank. Access comprehensive solutions from a top commercial bank that prioritizes your needs today and goals for tomorrow. Learn more at Capital.One slash commercial. Member FDIC.

0:19From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade and I'll be making this place a judgment full zone Here's your host at the Sudebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois Tom Papa

0:40Thanks Alzo Thanks everybody I'm Tom Papa and for Peter Sagal who took the week off to fulfill one of his lifelong dreams smoking cigarettes in the woods in Canada later on we'll be joined by vicky peterson legendary rock guitarist from the bangles but first it's your turn to call in and play our games the number is 1-888-wait-wait that's 1-888-924-8924 now let's welcome our first listener contestant hi you're on wait wait don't tell me hi tom this is luke from memphis tennessee hi luke what do you do down there well i guess uh my official title is principal of digital communication and experience solutions for a major sweets and snacks company oh that's a very long title yes okay now luke let's introduce you to our panel first up a comedian you can see on saturday july 18th at zany's in chicago and july 23rd through the 25th in Houston, Texas, it's Dulce Sloan.

1:53Next, you can see him at the Punchline in Irving, Texas, July 30th through August 1st, and Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, August 6th. It's Alonzo Bowden.

2:07And a comedian who hosts the public radio trivia game show, Go Fact Yourself, and the Animal Mythology podcast, Framed by Fables, it's Helen Hong. Hey, hello.

2:23So welcome to the show, Luke. You're going to play Who's Alzo This Time? Alzo Slade is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you choose on your voicemail. Are you ready? Absolutely. All right. Good luck. Your first quote is an expert on the Today Show describing cyclospora, an illness spreading around the U.S. this week. The main symptom rhymes with diamorrhea. The current outbreak of cyclospora is caused by eating what? Lettuce? Yes. bagged salad and produce. Yes, there's an explosive diarrhea outbreak.

3:16And heads up, this is one explosion you do not look cool walking away from in slow-mo.

3:27Epidemiologists warn that the microbe spreads through raw lettuce and berries. One victim blamed the salad he had four days earlier. If you can remember a salad, you had four days ago, you are already a mess. All I got to say is the last big outbreak was COVID. And if you think you didn't want someone with COVID over your house. Oh, what's the bubble for this? We don't want to. There'll be no visitors now. You can't. And, you know, the thing is, the guy whose job it was to keep an eye on this, you know, he was fired as part of the Doge thing. He's the only guy sitting at home just laughing like, yeah, I wasn't necessary.

4:13They didn't need me. Yeah, okay. This outbreak has really given me an appreciation for the word explosive. Go on. It's just so evocative, isn't it? It kind of makes you want to get it. And just so you know The explosions start seven days After you eat the produce So yes America You already have it But if it's seven days after How you know it was that Salad Well you don't Welcome to it Enjoy your time at the pool Once you Once you reach the level of explosive I don't think where it came from is your big concern. All right, Luke, your next quote about a very prominent couple sleeping in separate bedrooms.

5:08He's determined to have the better bedroom. That's from the new book, Regime Change, about what couple fighting over who has the better room? Can I have a hint? Yes, you can. The bedrooms are in the White House.

5:30That is a great hint. Hold on, let's see if he gets it. Yes, Trump and Melania. The president and Melania have separate bedrooms. We all figured this. The only surprising fact is that they're in the same building. Which bedrooms are they? Like, what's the competition? Because wouldn't he be in the presidential suite? He's the president, right? Yeah, but there's someone more powerful. Melania got the bigger, fancier presidential bedroom with all the nice furniture, while Trump sleeps in what is basically the living room next door. Imagine having to sleep in separate rooms because you're so in love, it distracts you from running the country.

6:17Trump is reportedly obsessed with trying to make his bedroom better than Melania's, so much so that he has started stealing stuff from other parts of the White House to make his bedroom fancier. This is true. He's taking furniture, lamps, artwork, and carrying it into the room himself. Imagine being a White House staffer working an all-nighter, and you see Trump in his pajamas sneaking by holding a bust of FDR. I don't think anyone knew she slept at the White House. Yeah, I'm surprised she's there. The first term she lived in New York, right? In Florida. Why is she even in there? Maybe it's just to piss him off.

7:02My wife and I started sleeping in separate bedrooms. We don't start off that way. She snores a lot. Sure bleed on her. I'm an angel. I'm like a little puppy just sleeping. Are the separate beds in the same room, like leave it to beaver? No. And we start off in the same bed, like there's going to be no problem. And then around three o 'clock in the morning, one of us kicks the other one in the shins and leaves in a rage. Tom, what I love is after this show airs and you're sleeping out back with the dog thinking, you know, I thought the snoring bit was funny. And I'm sneaking Down the hallway Stealing stuff from my new room Alright Luke here's your last quote Is this the next Pumpkin spice?

7:59That's the New York Times reporting that What is the next it flavor? I'm gonna Have to ask for another hint Well I'll give it to you gladly Just pick up the peel So you don't slip banana? Yes, banana. Look around. Banana flavor is in everything right now. The trend is red hot while also turning brown.

8:29I think you got dulce with that one. There are banana M &M's, Starbucks banana cold foam, Dunkin' banana lattes, plus there's fancy banana protein puddings that have all the coolest people asking, wait, am I just eating baby food? Can I say on behalf of everybody, girl, ew. Because here's the thing, banana is like grape, right? So like grape flavor don't taste like grape, grape tastes like purple. Go on. Banana flavor don't taste like the actual fruit, banana tastes like yellow. Yeah. So we're not dealing with real fruit situations right here. This is a real blue raspberry campaign. You think pumpkin spice was real?

9:17Hey, hey, hey, I'm black. I don't know nothing about no pumpkin. I will say I feel like it's audacious of Banana to not even need spice. Right? Like Banana was like, you know what? I can handle this solo. But Banana had to split. Banana's been around so much longer than pumpkin. You know what I mean? Bananas like, I got this. I don't need no help. Just so y 'all know, Alonzo is sponsored by Chiquita. That's right, baby. I'm getting saved. I'm getting that big banana money. Alzo, how did Luke do? Luke did great. Three out of three. Congratulations. Nice job, Luke. Awesome. Thanks, Tom. Thanks for funding.

10:07Bye. Thanks, buddy.

10:13Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Oh, no. Alonzo, yes, it's pretty hot this summer, but there's a big trend of people saying now is the time to stop doing what? Air conditioning? No. Would you like a hint? Yeah, I think so. my secret is I'm sure this is happening to a large degree. Yeah. Also, the people who want privacy when using their phones in public have given up deodorant. That's right. Wearing deodorant. What better way to be alone on a phone call? Americans are giving up deodorant and probably the worst week of the year to do that. Most deodorant skippers say they don't need it because they shower a lot, which is true, as long as that means you shower every 15 minutes.

11:13There have been days where I've forgotten deodorant, not on purpose, and I'm just like, my high fives are real low, like down to the waist. Is there a difference between not going with deodorant and going with deodorant that is just made natural. Yeah, like those, aren't there crystal rocks that you're supposed to rub in your pits? Right, and it doesn't have aluminum in it. There are some people who don't need the aluminum, and there are some people who should be wrapped in Reynolds wrap. I'm gonna wash away all of my sins. Start all over. I gotta take me to the river. Take me down to the shore.

12:05Coming up, how to liven up that funeral in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Hey, folks, it's Alzo Slade. A quick message before we get back to the show. This weekend marks one year since Congress voted to eliminate federal funding for public media. that funding, more than a billion dollars, is gone. But Wait Wait is still here, poking fun at the news and ourselves and bringing some levity to your week. Financial support from you, the public, makes our work and the work of the NPR network possible.

12:43If you're already an NPR Plus supporter, thank you. If not, you can join the community of people who power public media at plus.npr.org. Support comes from our 2026 lead sponsor of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, Viking, committed to exploring the world in comfort. Journey through the heart of Europe on an elegant Viking longship with thoughtful service, destination-focused dining, and cultural enrichment, on board and on shore. And every Viking voyage is all-inclusive with no children and no casinos. Discover more at Viking.com. This message comes from Mint Mobile. When it comes to your wireless bill, transparency is everything.

13:23Choose from 3-, 6-, or 12-month plans. To get your new premium wireless plan for just$15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash wait. Upfront payment of plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. Support for NPR and the following message come from GoodRx. Summer always flies. Between vacations and summer activities, keeping everyone healthy while staying on budget can be challenging. With GoodRx, you can find big savings at the pharmacy for the whole family. Pets, too. Compare prescription prices at over 70 ,000 pharmacies and instantly find free coupons.

14:02GoodRx is not insurance, but it may beat your copay price if you do have insurance. Save at the pharmacy this summer. Go to GoodRx.com slash wait.

14:15from npr and wbez chicago this is wait wait don't tell me the npr news quiz i'm alzo slade we're playing this week with alonzo bowden helen hong and dulce sloan and here again is your host at the studen baker theater in chicago illinois tom papa thanks alzo Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. Thanks, Alzo. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on air. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Brendan calling from Exeter, New Hampshire. Oh, nice to meet you, Brendan. What do you do there in New Hampshire? I run a hardware and craft store, and in my free time, I fly drones and take care of my three cats.

15:03Oh, where do you fly your drones? Up the river. What? I love how we still have modern technology, but it still sounds very New Hampshire. It's like, I've got a high-tech drone going up the river. Well, it's nice to have you with us, Brendan. You're going to play our game in which you must try and tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Alzo? Let's put the fun in funeral. something should never change about funerals nobody wants to go to open casket where they're like we thought we just show you the legs this time but sometimes change is good and this week we heard about something new in the funeral biz our panelists are going to tell you about it pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail Are you ready to play?

15:57I'm ready to play. All right. First up, it's Alonzo Bowden. Remember when Uncle Frank was wrong? Nope, because he had clean memories. When life ends, clean memory service removes all bad decisions from the internet. Compromising club pictures, browser history, that OnlyFans account that you used just that one time. It all goes when you go. So, Lexi Gardell, who works for Clean Memories, explains, even people who are pretty normal in real life have some pretty crazy internet presences. You think grandma didn't get freaky in her DMs? With Clean Memories, you'll keep thinking that. There are different packages, starting with Good Guy, which cleans browser history of adult and gambling websites.

16:46Next is That's Not Me, which removes any compromising pictures from social media, dating sites, in the cloud. There's I Didn't Say That, which cleans up Postmaid. Did you really think those unhinged opinions on who played Disney princesses is out there? Not anymore. Top of the line is the angel package, which is a CIA-level cleansing of your digital past. You'll be harder to find than Jason Bourne.

17:17That's a new service called Clean Memories that cleans up your internet presents after you died from Alonzo Bowden. Your next story of a celebration of life comes from Helen Hong. Have you ever wanted to meet someone just like you, even after you're dead? A new service is offering to pair up two recently deceased strangers with similar interests for buy one, get one free funeral services. If you think Uncle Jim is the only one who loved his kids and his bowling league, think again. Bogo Forever LLC will search for another recently deceased person who also love their kids and their bowling league.

18:03Bogo Forever LLC tries especially hard to pair people with the same first names as well as interests. According to one employee, you wouldn't believe how many women named Ruth love to knit. The services are a big hit with families. According to one recent client, we had twice the amount of food at the wake, and now Grandma can be buried next to someone who also loved WWE.

18:34That was BOGO Forever, a service that pairs your loved one with a similar loved one for a combo funeral from Helen Hong. And your last story of an innovation in internment comes from Dulce Sloan. Are you known as the drama queen of your family who wants to have one last hurrah after you've passed? Or are you the peacekeeper who wants to stir up some trouble but doesn't want to face the consequences? Then Dark Secret is the service for you. For just$500, they'll send a mysterious weeping woman to your funeral in hopes of creating a level of high drama and curiosity that is only seen in an Agatha Christie novel.

19:14Heck, you or Poirot himself couldn't solve this mystery. A black car will drop off your tragic figure, draped in professional mourning clothes and only sharing a heartbroken smile. She answers no questions, offers no explanation, and leaves discreetly in that same black car. But a nosy aunt or a greedy child is always the issue at a funeral. While Dark Secrets provides a weeping woman performing the highest theatrical display of mourning, your family could still be acting like a Tyler Perry movie.

19:49Okay, Brendan. So you've got Clean Memories, a service that cleans up your freaky internet stuff after you died from Alonzo Bowden. From Helen Hong, we have BOGO Forever, a buy one, get one free funeral service for like-minded dead people. And from Dulce Sloan, Dark Secrets, a company that will send a mysterious woman to your funeral. Which one is real? I'm going to have to go with Dulce and the mysterious woman. That sounds like something that I've heard of before. All right. And to find out the correct answer, let's hear from someone who likes the idea of the real story. To get paid to show up and say nothing is probably the best job an actor could get.

20:42This is Kaylin Carter, an actor in Chicago, talking about the mysterious funeral lady service. Congratulations, Brendan. You got it right. Awesome. Thank you very much. And you earned a point for Dulce, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you. Thank you for having me. All right. Thank you for playing with us today. Say goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you.

21:14And now the game we call Not My Job. Our guest, Vicki Peterson, is one of the greatest rock guitarists of all time and one of the founding members of the Bangles. Their song Walk Like an Egyptian was both a number one hit and the only song I can actually do the dance to. you can see her this summer on tour with her husband john cowsl vicki peterson thank you so much for joining us on wait wait don't tell this is very exciting thank you so much for being very exciting yeah no idea you look you look very cool you've got cool guitars up on the walls does there have to be a guitar behind you everywhere where you go?

22:00Of course, yes. You know, it's like the folks that have the bookshelf behind them on their Zoom calls to show how intelligent they are. This is the musician equivalent of that. Absolutely. So, Vicki, you've played with two of the most iconic all-female bands, the Bangles, of course, and the Go-Go's. The Bangles originally had a different band name. We had several. We started off in L.A. as the bangs. We were the colors, the supersonic bangs, and then we just shortened it. We added bangles, yeah. What were some of the dumb things that people would say about an all-female rock band that was kicking ass?

22:40Oh, please. Yeah, well, what's it like being in an all-girl band? What's it like being an all-girl? All-girl. Well, I haven't had much experience with the others, so, yeah, that's tough. So, yeah, it was, you know, is it hard? Everything's hard. Yeah. And what was the, so you did the bangles, but then you also were in the Go-Go's for a short time. Well, yeah, I mean, we were friends with the Go-Go's, and my friend Charlotte Caffey was pregnant with my ex-boyfriend's baby. What? Yay! Talk about that, girl. Ooh, write that. I know you wrote that song. Was this? I mean, they were married. It's legit.

23:22They were married at the time. Was this when the band was called The Bangs? Post-bang. No, but so Charlotte couldn't tour that tour, and she called me up and asked me if I would step in for her, which was just a blast. I had so much fun. It was great to be a side chick, as Jane Weedland called me, Vic Vic side chick. They were really fun. It was a great experience. I have a question. I just recently watched the Walk Like an Egyptian video. How did you all get that many New Yorkers to walk in the middle of the street doing that dance? New Yorkers do walk in the middle of the street. I don't know if you know that.

24:06Do you get any Egyptians that come up to you and be like, really?

24:14Your other great song, Manic Monday, was written by Prince. Did you interact with Prince a lot? oh yeah i mean yeah as much as one can what was that like did he approach you he did it was sort of he is he is very enigmatic as you know i'm sure um he did he saw our video for hero takes a fall which was off of our first album and he he approached us with a cassette tape that had two songs on it one of which was manic monday and he would just show up at shows sometimes I would just look over in the wings and, you know, and our road manager would be going, Prince is here, I want to play. Jeez. What?

24:54Jeez. Yes. He would crash your shows? Yes. That had to be amazing. So you got to play alongside Prince live. Yes. What was that? A number of times. What was that like? Otherworldly. Yeah. You know, and especially the first time he just came out and then we were playing. He just wanted to sing on Manic Monday with us. He grabbed a tambourine and sang. and I think we did a couple of old rock and Billy songs or something with him. And I was just literally, here's my Les Paul, please. Oh my God, that's amazing. So you played in the band with your sister and your husband comes from a family band as well called the Cow Sills.