We're live in San Diego with Ron Burgundy!

11:09Alzo Slade:I would have my phone by my side, and when I know a scare is about to happen, and I just put my arm around the young lady. You know what I'm saying? And then so when she gets scared, I'm already there to support her. Yeah. Yeah. I'm that kind of nice guy.

11:24Eugene Cordero:No, I thought what you meant was you're at the date, you're talking, and the phone lights up and says, she's about to tell you she's a Scientologist. Yes. I mean, that would be a great app. Yeah, that would be a good app. Yeah, that would be a good app. Brace yourself.

11:43Eugene Cordero:Coming up, things are looking up in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Hey, before we get back to the show, a quick plug for a very special event. Now, you may have heard Bill Curtis, our judge and scorekeeper, is retiring from Wait, Wait. I still have problems dealing with it, but in Bill's honor, we are hosting a live virtual event on Monday, May 11th, and you can join us. Bill and I will talk about his time on Wait, Wait, his career as a legendary anchorman, and we'll be answering your questions about Bill and the show.

12:17Eugene Cordero:So to get your invitation, just sign up for NPR Plus, and we'll send you a registration link. Signing up is also a great way to support the show and NPR. So just go to plus.npr.org and watch your email. Again, that's plus.npr.org.

12:37Eugene Cordero:This message comes from the Arbor Day Foundation, planting trees with intention and scale to support a greener future. For more than 50 years, the Arbor Day Foundation has connected local experts with the support they need from passionate people and companies who care to plant trees in communities and forests across the world. They use data and mapping to ensure their focusing efforts in high-priority areas where trees will make the most impact, like places affected by natural disasters. Disaster recovery work involving tree planting can take years to do right. In the two decades after Hurricane Katrina, the Arbor Day Foundation has planted hundreds of thousands of trees in response, and the work continues to this day, as the Foundation is working with partners on the ground in New Orleans' Lower Ninth Ward to help rebuild a greener community through trees.

13:25Eugene Cordero:Most recently, they've brought that same spirit to Los Angeles, planting at several sites throughout the city impacted by the Eaton Fire. Learn more and see how you can support their work at arborday.org slash NPR.

13:38Alzo Slade:This message comes from Manhattan Theater Club. From David Lindsay-Abert, the Pulitzer and Tony award-winning creator of Kimberly Akimbo and Rabbit Hole, comes a new play set right on the corner of decorum and disaster, The Balusters. Featuring an incredible cast of ten, it's a wild ride through a small community with some very big feelings. Tony award-winning director Kenny Leon manages the mayhem as this uniquely American story makes its world premiere on Broadway. The Balusters. Welcome to the neighborhood. Watch your back. This message comes from Babbel. Babbel's conversation-based language technique teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world.

14:24Alzo Slade:With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers. Start speaking with Babbel today. Get up to 55 % off your Babbel subscription right now at babbel.com slash NPR, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash NPR. Rules and restrictions may apply.

14:49Ron Burgundy:From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Eugene Cordero, and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at the San Diego Civic Theater in San Diego, California, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill.

15:13Eugene Cordero:And thank you, everybody. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Tim Borden from Gallup, New Mexico. Gallup, New Mexico. What do you do there? I work for the National Forest Foundation. I do forest restoration and reforestation projects throughout New Mexico. And in my spare time, I travel around and I sing with a sea shanty band called the Strongback. You sing in a sea shanty band? The Southwest is known for its flash flooding, so you need to be ready.

15:51Eugene Cordero:That's true. I see your point. Very good. Well, welcome to the show, Tim. Tim, you're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Tim's topic? A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. We all have bad days. You get dumped. You lose your job. You're in the Epstein files telling him how you got dumped and lost your job. But sometimes something bad can turn into a good thing. This week we heard about somebody whose bad day ended up with a surprising silver lining. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one that's telling the truth, and you'll win the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail.

16:29Eugene Cordero:Are you ready to play? I am. Let's do it. All right. First, let's hear from Eugene Cordero. In December, New York Giants kicker Young-Ho Ko ran up to kick a field goal at the Monday night football game against the New England Patriots, and instead of the ball, kicked the turf right in front of it.

16:48Alzo Slade:It was instantly deemed one of the most embarrassing kicks in NFL history. and Coe was cut from the team a few weeks later. So it was pretty bad for him, but ultimately good for a fan. One, Mark Toothacker, watching from home, he replayed the slapstick kick multiple times and laughed so hard he had a seizure. A feat every comedian dreams of. Luckily, Mr.

17:19Eugene Cordero:Toothacker's wife is a nurse

17:20Alzo Slade:and rushed him to the ER where they discovered a tumor on the left side of his brain. The tumor was swiftly removed and turned out to be benign. So a terrible kick turned out to be a life-saving catch.

17:37Eugene Cordero:One of the worst kicks in NFL history leads to a fan's tumor getting discovered and removed. Your next story of a silk purse from a sow's ear comes from Paula Poundstone.

17:50Paula Poundstone:After an hour-long standoff with a passenger who commandeered her drink cart and food service tongs before being subdued and duct-taped to their seat, flight attendant Phoebe Whelan used her incident recovery time provided by American Airlines to prepare and pitch a reality show to the television networks. We just got the green light from ABC after a huge bidding war, says an overjoyed Whelan. It's like below deck but higher. Each episode, the audience sees the struggles between the flight crew and the passengers they have to deal with. There are bloody fights over passengers putting their seat back.

18:32Paula Poundstone:There are passengers claiming their steamer trunks or carry-on luggage. There's one episode where a famous violinist is forced to put their violin in the overhead compartment, and another passenger releases termites into the compartment. And by the time the plane lands, there are termite mounds and violin strings in the overhead compartment, but no violin. Plus, the purser has a thing for the guy in 3F.

19:00Eugene Cordero:A flight attendant's terrible day at work inspires her to create a new reality show about all the terrible days that flight attendants endure. Your last story of a bad day turning good comes from Alzo Slade.

19:15Alzo Slade:This story begins the day that the rapper actor LL Cool J woke up to his girlfriend frustrated with him over a constant problem. His ashy lips. His girlfriend looks at him and says, are you going to do something about your lips? Every time we kiss, I need a band-aid. He laughs. She does it. She breaks up with him because of his dry lips. He grabs a cheap corner store lip balm, applies it. Thick, chalky. it's like his lips are wearing a sweater. He wipes it off and it gets worse. So he does what most of us do. He licks his lips again and again and again. He goes to do an on-camera interview. Every question, lick.

19:52Alzo Slade:Every pause, lick. Every close-up, lick. But instead of nervous, it looks intentional. Instead of a problem, it looks like a move. And the next week, he has a product meeting. They ask him, you know what people associate you with, right? He pauses, licks his lips, and says yes. So he introduces LL Cool J's Take a Lick lip balm, a flavored lip balm that inspires users to constantly lick their lips just like he does. This week, it officially became a billion-dollar business, which is why he's on the cover of this month's Fortune magazine on his yacht that he named From Ash to Cash. All right. Somebody's bad day turned into something good.

20:38Eugene Cordero:Was it from Eugene Cordero how they famously flubbed a kick in the NFL led a man to laugh at it so hard that he ended up getting a tumor discovered? From Paula Poundstone, a flight attendant whose terrible day at work inspired her to become a reality TV mogul. Or from Alzo Slade, LL Cool J turns his dry lips ending a relationship into a brand and a business. Which of these was the real story of good coming from bad?

21:06Ron Burgundy:Well, I'm not surprised that the Giants are going to be giving people seizures from how they were playing last year. So I'm going to go with Eugene's story about the football fan with a tumor.

21:15Eugene Cordero:You're going to go with Eugene's story about the football kick leading to an amused fan getting checked out when he needed to be. Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to that real person who benefited from a bad day. I hate laughing at this kicker's expense, but you know, what might have been an embarrassing moment to him, it literally saved my life. That was Mark Tuthacker who laughed so hard at that muffed kick, it ended up saving his life. Congratulations, Tim. You got it right. You earned a point for Eugene, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Congratulations.

21:52Eugene Cordero:Thank you so much for playing. Thanks, everybody.

21:59Eugene Cordero:And now the game we call Not My Job, there is perhaps nobody who represents the city of San Diego better than the legendary local news anchor Ron Burgundy. They agree. Whose story was told in two hit documentaries, Anchorman and Anchorman 2, both narrated by our own legendary newsman, Bill Curtis. We are delighted that Mr. Burgundy could join us here on stage. Ron Burgundy, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

22:26Ron Burgundy:Thank you, Peter. Thank you so much for having me. It's great to be back here.

22:30Eugene Cordero:I imagine, and I think our audience has proved it, that when you come back to San Diego, where you started your career, you get quite a response. People must be very excited to see you. People? Well, I still live down here. Okay. Oh, I didn't realize.

22:41Ron Burgundy:Yeah, I have a condo in Pacific Beach. Sure.

22:46Ron Burgundy:I got evicted from my townhome in Rancho Panasquitas.

22:53Ron Burgundy:So I'm now, you know, I'm walking around the beach with my metal detector. I still work with my charity, which is we're rehabbing dolphins. We're trying to keep dolphins to stay in high school. Right. Because guess what the dropout rate for dolphins are in high school? I wouldn't know. 100%. Really? Yes.

23:17Eugene Cordero:Wow. That's why I see so many dolphins hanging out in the street corners. with no casual employment.

23:21Ron Burgundy:And then on weekends, I have my sea shanty group. You do? Yes. A lot of that going around. We go back and forth from here to Gallup, New Mexico. Sure. And we have competitions and things like that.

23:35Eugene Cordero:So it's a very full, rich, busy life. Yeah, yeah. Bill here, your colleague in TV news, he famously got his start as a young man when he went on the air in Topeka and warned thousands of people saving their lives about an impending tornado. That's right. Yeah, I'm sure your start as a newsman was something like that. Can I just say something?

23:56Ron Burgundy:I admire Bill Curtis so much. Oh, sure. You are the gold standard. Your legendary baritone voice is what I tried to emulate, and yet I couldn't hate someone more. I've always been so jealous of your talents, but Bill and I, we have had some times together. Really? Yeah, yeah. Don't get Bill going on this story of Bill and I, Walter Cronkite, Angie Dickinson, and a flamethrower down at the dog track in Tijuana. Oh, wow. That's all I'm going to give you. Yeah. That's all I'm going to give you.

24:34Eugene Cordero:I remember when Bill did that, all he said was, I'm on assignment. Yes. I'm on assignment. Yeah. Now, Bill here, I know, having recently read his memoir, has covered some amazing stories. He was at Chernobyl, one of the first American journalists to go there. He covered the fall of Iran. Were you covering those stories as well?

24:54Ron Burgundy:Yes. Well, I would wait for Bill to file his report. And then I, you know, I'd embellish. I didn't get the big assignments. No. When I was a younger man, I remember I reported the Vietnam War was over after one month. so uh they didn't give me the big assignments right yeah you went over there came back and

25:25Alzo Slade:said it's going great it's going great yeah now they're looking for you to report on the iran war

25:29Ron Burgundy:yeah exactly yeah that one should be over any day now

25:35Eugene Cordero:two weeks two weeks the tv news business has changed have you had to adapt from your early days here as an anchorman?

25:42Ron Burgundy:It really, it really has. Network news is really down the old toilet. Yeah. So an applause for network, for the demise of network news. I'm assuming that's what that is.

25:59Eugene Cordero:Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Well, I'm possibly for toilets.

26:02Ron Burgundy:Look, I've still, or there could be a lot of people who just enjoy a good toilet. Who doesn't? Yeah. Who doesn't? I mean, when you walk into a bathroom, you see a finely sculpted piece of porcelain. Sure. You're like, that's a good looking toilet. Yeah. What were we talking about?

26:18Eugene Cordero:We were talking about how you, Ron Burgundy, legendary anchorman, has adapted to the changes in television video news.

26:26Ron Burgundy:I pretty much broadcast my weekly report from my garage. Sure. I have a satellite link up with my good buddy Elon, Starlink. Except he didn't give me access. I have Stardink. Yeah. Which only broadcasts about 500 yards outside of my place. The one you bought on Timu. The one I bought on Timu. Yeah, I love Timu. I'm a big Timu guy. Oh, gosh. Just as good, eighth of the price. Right. And I think that's their jingle. Just as good, eighth of the price.

27:05Eugene Cordero:So the Burgundy Report is out there.

27:07Ron Burgundy:The Burgundy Report is out there. I'm still submitting my resumes to local news stations. Really? I'm not getting any nibbles.

27:14Eugene Cordero:I find that hard to believe, given your talent, given your resume. You would think so. Yeah. You would think so.

27:20Paula Poundstone:Well, isn't independent news the thing anyways? Don't you want to be on that train?

27:25Ron Burgundy:Yes. What you said. Yeah. I do. I want to be an independent journalist. I don't want to be told what to think or what to do.

27:34Alzo Slade:Well, Ron, have you given any thought to using the TikToks and the Instagrams, for example?

27:39Ron Burgundy:Look, that's a trend that's going nowhere. Well,

27:47Eugene Cordero:Ron Burgundy, maybe you can consider this a job interview because we have, in fact, invited you here to play a game we're calling... Anchorman, meet the Anchorman. You are, of course, the second most iconic Anchorman in America, so we thought we'd ask you about Anchorman, that is sailors. and seamen. Answer two or three questions correctly, you'll want to appraise one of our listeners the voice of the wait waiter of their choice for their voicemail. Bill, who is your protege, Ron Burgundy, playing for?

28:13Ron Burgundy:Dave Dennis of San Diego, California. All right. Dave Dennis.

28:18Eugene Cordero:A viewer. All right. Here's your first question. We'll start with Ernest Shackleton. He was the famed captain who kept his entire crew alive for 18 months after their ship got trapped in ice in Antarctica. Turns out, among other things, he was great at keeping up his crew's morale. They held debates, they held sing-alongs, and he let the crew do what? Was it A, hold a weekly vote to update the rankings of who would be eaten first if they ran out of food, B, think up fun new names for the constellations, or C, build a big sexy lady snowman? Well

28:59Ron Burgundy:I have been stranded before Sure And with a large group And we knew we weren't going to be rescued for a while Off the Aleutian Islands Sure What we didn't realize was That we were literally five minutes away From an army base Yeah But anyway So we had to have that discussion of who we would eat I wasn't going to say it's A They made a list

29:21Eugene Cordero:It's going to say they made a list of who would be eaten first Yes It was actually the big sexy snowman Here's your next question. Rear Admiral John D. Bulkeley was a celebrated naval officer. He even has a destroyer named after him today. But he had an odd habit while he was in command of a naval base back in 1966. What was it? Was it A, he would dress up like a ninja and sneak around the base to test security? B, he would get around the base on a rowboat mounted on wheels that he would row? Or C, since the Navy banned alcohol, he would drink fruit juice and then just act drunk?

29:57Ron Burgundy:Well, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I don't know why. I always started every newscast with a stiff scotch. I would guzzle it down like it was the last drop of alcohol I was ever going to have. And I was ready to go. Yeah, sure. I'm going to say he rode around on a rowboat.

30:18Eugene Cordero:He rode around on a rowboat. No, actually, he would dress up like a ninja and sneak around. and he never got shot. Either security was terrible or more likely, the security guards were like, oh, geez, the Admiral's a ninja again. Just play along. Let him do it. Pretend we can't see him. Yeah. All right, you still can get one right here. All right. Captain Crunch of cereal fame has been sailing the seas of breakfast since the 1960s. Always delicious. Always the best. But in 2013, he faced a scandal. People accused Captain Crunch of what? A, using child labor to pick. Crunch Berries, B, violating the embargo on Cuba, or C, not actually holding the rank of captain?

31:06Eugene Cordero:Wow. Yeah. D?

31:10Ron Burgundy:Are you saying D?

31:16Ron Burgundy:I'm going to say Captain Crump if you look on the box he looks like a guy who's willing to cut corners You're going to go for C I'm going to go for C

31:28Eugene Cordero:That's right, he's guilty of stolen honor Yes Stolen honor indeed According to the number of stripes on his uniform he'd been an ensign, a lieutenant and a commander, but he never wore the four stripes appropriate to a captain until 2024.

31:46Alzo Slade:He'd never get away with that in San Diego.

31:48Eugene Cordero:Never. No, that's right. Bill, how did Ron Burgundy do in our quiz? Well, he did really well. He got one. Yeah, he did. Hey. Ron Burgundy was the legendary anchorman on San Diego's award-winning KVWN news team. Ron Burgundy, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

32:13Eugene Cordero:In just a minute, why you better leave your umbrella at home. That's our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO.

32:26Alzo Slade:This message comes from the Arbor Day Foundation. For more than half a century, the Arbor Day Foundation and its global network of more than a million inspired individuals, businesses, and community leaders have united behind the power of trees. to help solve some of the planet's most pressing problems. From Michigan to Madagascar, the Arbor Day Foundation is planting trees at the speed of a changing world in communities and forests across the globe. See how you can do your part at arborday.org slash NPR. This message comes from Manhattan Theater Club. From David Lindsay-Abert, the Pulitzer and Tony award-winning creator of Kimberly Akimbo and Rabbit Hole, comes a new play set right on the corner of decorum and disaster.

33:12Alzo Slade:The Ballisters, featuring an incredible cast of 10. It's a wild ride through a small community with some very big feelings. Tony award-winning director Kenny Leon manages the mayhem as this uniquely American story makes its world premiere on Broadway. The Ballisters, welcome to the neighborhood. Watch your back. This message comes from Babbel. Babbel's conversation-based language technique teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world. With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers, start speaking with Babbel today.

33:52Alzo Slade:Get up to 55 % off your Babbel subscription right now at babbel.com slash NPR, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash NPR. Rules and restrictions may apply.

34:09Ron Burgundy:From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alzo Slade, Paula Poundstone, Eugene Cordero, and Ron Burgundy. And here again is your host at the San Diego Civic Theater in San Diego, California, Peter Sago.

34:31Eugene Cordero:you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill whispers poems in your ear. Unfortunately, they're limericks. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-wait-wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, though, some more questions for you from the week's news. Also, there's a new amenity for travelers. Starting soon, you'll now be able to do what at the airport?

35:00Eugene Cordero:sleep oh people have been doing that for a long time can i have a hint please yeah you can have your hint uh good luck getting your personal bottle of body wash through security though oh wow shower yes you can shower at the airport that is gross that is great there's a lot of musty people at the airport yes exactly that's just gross some airports mostly at this point in Europe are offering a new amenity for arriving passengers. You land, you go to the arrival lounge where you can freshen up and take a shower. They've just started installing these. Congratulations to that one passenger, whoever it was, who smelled so bad he inspired a whole new advance in the travel industry.

35:39Eugene Cordero:Well, that's the thing. It should be before they depart because that's when you're going to be sitting close next to... Exactly. Yeah. They should require it. They should make us all go through the shower on a belt like a car wash.

35:54Paula Poundstone:Or you know what? Where the light and the AC are on the buttons up there. You're just right. Exactly. You push and you get a little.

36:04Eugene Cordero:And they'll be part of the security thing. Make sure you wash your own hair and rinse before washing the hair and rinsing somebody with you.

36:10Alzo Slade:Can you imagine going through TSA and the thing beeps and they tell you, excuse me, Mr. Slade, can you come aside? You've been randomized. And they just hand you a bottle of soap and point you to the shower.

36:25Eugene Cordero:It's like the airline equivalent of a friend just offering you a breath. Yeah, right. Eugene, this week, the Washington Post reported on a bold and effective new idea in conservation. You can save endangered species like gorillas if we simply give them what?

36:42Alzo Slade:What do they offer endangered species?

36:45Eugene Cordero:Yes. Other than hope? We can't do that Oh, we can't do that I'll give you a hint The hard part is teaching the gorillas To sign their name on the checks Giving gorillas jobs? No, not jobs You sign a check to draw money from your Bank account? Yes, give gorillas bank accounts What? So a man named Jonathan Ledgard Runs a non-profit that sets up Bank accounts for individual animals.

37:18Paula Poundstone:I would so like to hit up a gorilla for five bucks.

37:21Eugene Cordero:Exactly. You know what's going to happen? People are going to go out to lunch with gorillas, and when the check comes, they're all going to be like, oh, wow, I forgot my water. So here's how it works. They set up the accounts for the animals, and then when someone provides a gorilla a service, like, say, clearing a path, the gorilla pays that person. But don't get too excited. Gorillas are horrible tippers.

37:44Alzo Slade:I don't know if I like this Why not? It's discriminatory You have to be endangered to get a bank account Imagine the species that are not endangered They're like, this is messed up Yeah Yeah, giraffes have been making millions You know what I'm saying? They've just been putting it under a mattress

38:05Paula Poundstone:Yeah, mosquitoes have a Venmo thing now

38:09Eugene Cordero:When you check their Venmo It's just drop of blood, drop of blood Drop of blood.

38:15Paula Poundstone:I'm not even sure I understand it, but I don't want my cats to find out about it. I know that.

38:32Eugene Cordero:Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theater at our home in Chicago, or you can catch us on the road. We will be in Austin, Texas at the Bass Concert Hall on June 4th. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

38:59Ron Burgundy:Hi, this is Marisa calling in from Bellevue, Washington.

39:02Eugene Cordero:Bellevue, Washington, up there near Seattle, right? That's right. What do you do there?

39:08Ron Burgundy:I'm a lawyer, but right now I'm enjoying my daughter's senior year. I'm on a sabbatical and she's enjoying her senior year before I become an empty nester.

39:17Eugene Cordero:Really? So you took off a year of work, a sabbatical, just to be with your 17 to 18 year old daughter.

39:25Ron Burgundy:That is correct. To her chagrin some days.

39:27Eugene Cordero:I was about to say, when you told your daughter, this is your last year of high school, you're a senior, you can relax and have fun. and I've decided to stop going to work so I can be here with you all the time. How did she react?

39:43Ron Burgundy:She immediately lobbied for a pet or maybe a hobby for me.

39:48Eugene Cordero:For you, yes, not for her. I understand. Well, welcome to the show, Marissa. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play?

40:01Alzo Slade:Absolutely.

40:01Eugene Cordero:All right, here's your first limerick.

40:02Ron Burgundy:This Egyptian found Greek stories yummy. That's how Homer wound up in his tummy. And this corpse inspector found traces of Hector on fragments embalmed in a... Mummy.

40:18Eugene Cordero:Yes, in a remarkable discovery, a page from the Iliad was found in the abdomen of an Egyptian mummy, meaning that either it was stuffed inside this mummy during the mummification process or this man died from eating the Iliad. Now papyrus has been found inside mummies before but it's always like religious texts. This is like the first time it's been a page just taken from a book. But of all the books to be buried with, the Iliad is pretty cool, right? Yeah. Sophisticated guy, whoever this guy was. How embarrassing would it be, for example, to be dug up 2 ,000 years from now with a copy of, like, the Da Vinci Code inside you?

41:04Alzo Slade:I was thinking more like Green Eggs and Ham or something like that. Don't knock Green Eggs and Ham. That's a classic.

41:10Paula Poundstone:Yeah, see, I went with the Hardy Boys. Yeah, exactly.

41:13Ron Burgundy:All right, here is your next limerick. This thunderstorm resets your brain. Get umbrellas and walk down the lane. Emotional pain will just wash down the drain. when you take a calm walk in the... Rain.

41:29Eugene Cordero:In the rain, yes. You know this living in Washington. According to experts, getting rained on is good for you, and not just because it's literally the most romantic thing that can happen to someone. It also apparently chemically boosts serotonin in your brain, that feeling you have when your genes are soaked through and everything is chafing. That's happiness. I also heard that if you run in the rain You'll get more wet than if you just walk Oh right, that's like a physics conundrum That's a physics conundrum Because you're moving more You're moving through like more volume of water or something Yes, because I try to run through it And I'm not having fun

42:12Alzo Slade:No And if I walk through it

42:14Eugene Cordero:I feel like I'm really going to have a blast I can't wait for the next time it rains So I can have a blast being soaking wet It's the best Here is your last limerick

42:25Ron Burgundy:For my workout, I need a fresh spark I'll run faster if dogs chase and bark To avoid indoor stench, I'll do dips on a bench No more gym, I work out in the...

42:41Eugene Cordero:Park Yes, if you don't want to pay for a gym membership, don't worry The New York Times says a public park has all the workout equipment you need They published a list of exercises you can do using a park bench, like step-ups, tricep dips, and jump-ups when you realize what you just sat in. And if there's a monkey bar, you know, monkey bars or a pull-up bar, you can be the guy who says, mind if I work in, to a six-year-old.

43:08Alzo Slade:I've seen some adults working out at a park while I'm there with my children. Really? And it looks terrible. How so? Just because the kids are just having fun and then there's just a grown man sweating very close to us.

43:22Eugene Cordero:Yeah. And we don't need that. One of the exercises the time suggests is resting, if you can picture it, your upper back on the seat of a park bench and just doing upward hip thrusts.

43:35Eugene Cordero:Oh, in a public park in New York City.

43:39Alzo Slade:Can you imagine? You just, you just, you walk in your dog and you just want to sit down. We were like, hey, buddy, can you move that pelvis thrust somewhere else?

43:53Eugene Cordero:Bill, how did Marissa do in our quiz? Marissa was perfect.

43:56Ron Burgundy:Congratulations on your sabbatical.

43:59Eugene Cordero:Well done. Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye.

44:15Alzo Slade:This message comes from the Arbor Day Foundation. For more than half a century, the Arbor Day Foundation and its global network of more than a million inspired individuals, businesses, and community leaders have united behind the power of trees to help solve some of the planet's most pressing problems. From Michigan to Madagascar, the Arbor Day Foundation is planting trees at the speed of a changing world in communities and forests across the globe. See how you can do your part at arborday.org slash NPR. This message comes from Manhattan Theater Club. From David Lindsay-Abert, the Pulitzer and Tony Award-winning creator of Kimberly Akimbo and Rabbit Hole, comes a new play set right on the corner of decorum and disaster, The Balusters.

45:02Alzo Slade:Featuring an incredible cast of ten, it's a wild ride through a small community with some very big feelings. Tony Award-winning director Kenny Leon manages the mayhem as this uniquely American story makes its world premiere on Broadway. The Balusters. Welcome to the neighborhood. Watch your back.

45:22Eugene Cordero:Now it's time to our final game, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

45:32Ron Burgundy:Eugene and Alzo each have three and Paula has two. Okay.

45:37Paula Poundstone:How did that happen?

45:39Ron Burgundy:Don't ask silly questions, Paula.

45:42Eugene Cordero:Just roll with it. So, Paula, you are in second place behind the two gentlemen, so you'll be up first. The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Pentagon reported that the U.S. had spent over$25 billion on the war with blank. Iran. Right. On Monday, Cole Allen was charged with attempting to assassinate the president last week at the blank. At the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Right. This week, Jerome Powell held his final meeting as chair of the blank. of the Fed. Right, Federal Reserve. This week, Chanel's newest shoe drew mixed reactions because it's literally just blank.

46:17Eugene Cordero:I don't know. It's just a heel.

46:21Paula Poundstone:Oh, just a heel.

46:21Eugene Cordero:Just the heel of a shoe, nothing else. Yeah. Tuesday, UPS and FedEx said they would return refunded blank payments to their customers. No, yell tariff. Yes. This week, the chief of NASA started to push to make blank planet again. Pluto! Pluto! Yes, this week authorities in Sri Lanka arrested blank for trying to smuggle 200 pounds of weed into that country. Elon Musk. No, 22 22

46:53Eugene Cordero:Buddhist monks. The monks were just getting back from a weekend holiday in Bangkok. Monks go to Bangkok for the weekend, apparently, and they told the officers that arrested them that the 2.5 million dollars worth of weed was a quote donation to the temple you know it is you're in the temple the donation plate comes around you're like oh man i don't have any cash on me all i've got is this enormous bail here bill how did paula do on our quiz five right good start ten more points 12 is her total she's in first place all right eugene i'm going to pick you arbitrarily to go next so Fill in the blank.

47:34Eugene Cordero:According to new data, blank prices are the highest they've been in four years. Oil. Yeah, gas. Oil prices. This week, a Taco Bell employee in Florida was accused of pulling a gun on the customers who blanked. Didn't pay. No, who asked for a cup for free water, then went over to the machine and put soda in it. Whoa. We're all feeling a little guilty, aren't we? On Wednesday, health officials warned of a blank outbreak tied to chicken in 13 states. Oh, San Manolo? Right. On Wednesday, the Flyers beat the Penguins to move into round two of the blank playoffs. The Stanley Cup playoffs. Stanley Cup, yes.

48:14Eugene Cordero:This week, after a 31-day winning streak came to an end, Jeopardy! champion Jamie Ding said that he may have finally lost because blank. He got tired? No, because he forgot to pack fresh socks and underwear for the taping. Jamie Ding said that he knew his losing game of Jeopardy! was going to be a tough one because he forgot to pack socks and underwear when he flew out to L.A. for the taping. Sting still had an amazing run, but it must have been even harder for him because the guy he lost to was only wearing socks and underwear. Wow, man. Bill, how did Eugene do in our quiz? Three right.

48:47Ron Burgundy:Six more points. Tuttle to nine. Still trails Paula. All right.

48:55Eugene Cordero:And how many then does Alzo need to take it? Five to win. All right, Alzo, this is for the game. Here we go. On Wednesday, the Justice Department once again indicted former FBI Chief Blank. Comey. Change Comey. Change Comey. On Monday, the Mexican government arrested another high-profile Blank member. Cartel. Right. This week, the United Arab Emirates announced it was planning to leave Blank on May 1st. The L.I.V.? Not the golf tournament. No. OPEC. They're going to leave OPEC. On Monday, the White House once again put pressure on ABC to fire late-night host Blank. Jimmy Kimmel. Right. This week, a French teenager faced jail time for blanking in a public place.

49:34Eugene Cordero:Peeing. No, licking a straw, then putting it back in the dispenser. No. You're like, I'm away for life. That'll do it. That'll do it. On Wednesday, J. Craig Venter, the man who decoded the human blank, passed away at the age of 79. Genome. Yep. After losing Saudi Arabia as an investor, PGA competitor blank is at the risk of shutting down. Yeah. See, I was ahead of you. You were.

50:00Alzo Slade:Is it Live, right? Live, LIV Golf, yes.

50:03Eugene Cordero:This week, a woman in Massachusetts was convicted for sicking her blank on a group of police trying to perform an eviction. Her pet rabbit. No, her swarm of bees. Whoa! In 2022, housing advocate Rory Woods pulled up in her truck to try to stop sheriff's deputies from carrying out an eviction when they wouldn't listen to reason. She went to her truck, selected one of her hives, and released the bees. One of her hives. Yeah. A bunch. Sadly, she was then arrested for assault with a hilarious weapon. Bill did also do well enough to win. He needed five. He got five. There you go. He is today's winner.

50:45Eugene Cordero:Congratulations. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be King Charles' favorite souvenir from his trip to America? Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeke writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Milestone Boss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is the Comptroller of the City of San Diego.

51:19Eugene Cordero:Emma Choi is our Vibe Curator, Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. And with this show, we are delighted to welcome to our crew our new operations manager, Jasira Vardak. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now panel, what will be King Charles' favorite souvenir from his trip? Alzo Slade. Paper crown from Burger King.

51:48Eugene Cordero:Eugene Cordero. A doggy bag from the Virginia Potluck. And Paula Founstone.

51:55Paula Poundstone:He got one of the last Cracker Barrel t-shirts with the new canceled logo.

52:03Ron Burgundy:So if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

52:08Eugene Cordero:So thank you to Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Alzo Slade, Eugene Cordero, and Paula Founstone. And thanks to Carolyn Satter and the staff and crew at the San Diego Civic Theater. Special thanks to Heather Milne-Barger and everybody at KPBS here in San Diego. And thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal, and Bill, stay classy, San Diego.

52:44Ron Burgundy:This is NPR.

53:13Alzo Slade:story of Tourette's campaigner John Davidson and set in 1980s Britain, the film follows his journey through a troubled youth into adulthood as he navigates a misunderstood condition and fights to live a normal life. Now playing only in theaters. This message comes from DonorsChoose. Every day on DonorsChoose.org, teachers ask for the books, supplies, and learning materials their students need. Because every day, teachers show up for their students. But who's going to show up for teachers. Because appreciation shouldn't stop at thank you. It means taking action. Books for the classroom, supplies for students, support teachers can count on.

53:52Alzo Slade:Show classroom heroes the appreciation they deserve. Donate today at donorschoose.org slash local.